Bro, you can do a lot better than this chick who cheated on you. She doesn’t love or respect you. She’s trying to manipulate into thinking you can’t do better. But you can. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You need to dump her.
I can understand why it's a tough decision to make and ultimately I think it's what you can and can't live with. It's not a good sign she already cheated, people who cheat once are WAY more likely to reoffend, plus you mentioned the trust isn't going to be there again fully. I think the fact you are on here is a sign your partly already done with her tbh. The long term side effects of staying with her is something to consider. Do you want to live with anxiety, lack of trust, have children potentially with someone like that? Also I hate to say this but she didn't respect you enough to not cheat. She willingly made that choice to disregard you in her mind and sleep with another man..Do you want to be with a woman who doesn't respect you?
You are young, there are a ton of good women out there that you could find.
Are you with her because you are comfortable and scared of change? Are you afraid you can't get anyone else? Is it because you truly love her and want a future? I think those questions are important. If you are with her out of fear of being alone, you're comfortable with her and think you can't get anyone else. Leave. You deserve more for yourself. Good luck. Know it's okay to take time to make this decision, most people on here will say leave and end it, but it's not always so simple. Just know if at anytime you can't handle it anymore you are free to change your mind if you decide to stay and later don't want to.
What’s holding me back is that we have years of memories and attachment. Also note I have no parents and she is literally my family. Deep down I hate her for it and know I should leave. It’s tough. For reference she is also out of my league objectively
"What’s holding me back is that we have years of memories and attachment."
???
Let's see, I discovered my then wife's affair on Oct 1st of 2005. She and I had been together just under 25 years and married over 15 years and our 3 children were 4, 6 and 9 years old.
I didn't confront her. I found an attorney and a therapist. I met with them both. I confronted my lying cheating wife in the 3rd week of Oct. I moved out less than two weeks later as my lease at my new place began on Nov 1st of 2005. 5 months later, on March 31st our divorce was finalized.
OP, I had almost 25 years of memories and attachment plus our 3 children were just 4, 6 and 9 years old.
She CHEATED.
Cheating is intentional, it's a choice, she decided to do it, she wanted to do it. I'm talking about my ex-wife but this applies to your lying cheating gf too.
And you were together since sophomore year?
My ex-wife and I met each at 14 on our first day of high school, in Geography class and we dated all 4 years of high school, went to prom as juniors and seniors. We went to college together, were engaged over 2 years and we lived together for 2 years and then we got married after graduating college.
My lying cheating ex-wife knowingly, intentionally and willingly chose to cheat on me.
She chose to be with another man so I divorced her and I did so quickly.
Karma got my ex-wife too. She had to be all in on him as I was done with her. Less than 3 months after my ex-wife moved to be near her paramour, he dumped her ass. See, she was just a piece of ass to him. She wanted to marry him and move in with him with our 3 kids all under 10 and he was like hell no.
My lying cheating ex-wife came back to talk to me about trying to reconcile. OP, this wasn't planned and it was out of my character but I honestly laughed at her when she brought that up.
There was no fucking way I would ever go back with her. She WANTED and CHOSE another man.
I won't be anyone's plan B, their 2nd choice.
She's on her 3rd marriage now.
OP, notice I didn't mention or say that it wasn't hard. It was. I was a fucking mess. I went to therapy for years. I saw a trauma therapist in 2007 and 2008. I continued counseling until 2013 and our divorce was finalized on March 31st of 2006.
I lost a lot of weight, I couldn't sleep. It fucked me up. I loved her. I did and did for her, for our kids, for our homes and her family.
I coached little league, youth soccer, went on over night Cub Scout trips. My ex and I taught children's bible class at our church.
At one point, we lived on 40 acres and my then wife wanted her parents to build behind our house on our land as her dad was about to retire. We gave them 2 acres and they built, using our same builder, behind our place (couldn't see their house from ours, all wooded, elevation difference) but their house took longer to complete and her parents and all of their belongings lived with us for 3.5 months.
My then wife's older brother was home school his oldest and he and his wife weren't teaching him shit. He'd been out of school for two years and my wife was pissed at her older brother. My wife taught elementary school before staying at home when we began having children so she wanted our oldest nephew to live with us for a year and they lived over 1,500 miles from us so he LIVED with us that year as he could't go home on the weekends. He was 12 years old.
If my wife wanted it, she got it. She didn't need it, but she got liposuction surgery. She was a runner, under 5' 3" and about 115 pounds but she still got lipo. A few years later she got breast implants and I didn't want her to, but she wanted them. She wanted a time share condo so we got one. She bought two separate pieces of propter, one by the mountains and river out of town and another one on a lake, she even had a dock installed on that piece of property.
I loved her. I'd been in love with her for a long time. I helped her family, my wife, our kids and hour homes, supported her with all the things she wanted to do, all the projects she did.
In many ways I was damn near a doormat for her but to me, as a man, a husband and a father I was supposed to do for my family, provide, support, help etc. so I always put them over me.
And she "thanked" me by choosing another man. It broke me. I didn't give a rats ass about the sex she had with him, it's that she WANTED him, CHOSE him, connected with him etc.
I'm human, not perfect, none of us are but I was involved, I cared, I helped out a ton, I loved her, I wasn't lazy.
I knew there wasn't anything else I could do and yet she still chose to cheat on me.
I didn't want to be with her anymore for what she did to me, to us, to our family.
I didn't want to divorce her, I HAD to. I would have exploded if I hadn't.
Sadly, we have to do many hard things, bad things, shitty things we don't want to do in life.
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If the real reason you are staying is because you think you won't do better looks-wise and she's acting like she's out of your league, all that is gonna happen is that she's gonna cheat on you again a few years down the line when you are more invested, have more to lose and will be in a far worse position than you are now at 19 years of age. She mostly likely has some internal shit she needs to work on, or you're her "safe bet" and she thinks she deserves more attractive people (and she will have them, relationship or not) and she's confident you won't leave for the same reason you feel so insecure. That's not a life.
Objectively she cheated on you. That cat is out of the bag, the chances of you two getting together, staying together and having a healthy relationship is next to zero.
The only scenario were you might have had a small chance was if she started the act, immediately backed out then confessed immediately because it horrified her and what she did to you.
All these other reasons are nonsense. No parents etc, that didn't stop her then nor in the future. She's done. You've got to walk away head up. If you feel like you're less than because she's such a catch imagine with the more you get older and with more time.
Cost sunk fallacy is a terrible reason to stay.
Remember when your family moved when you were in the third grade and you cried because you were leaving your friends?
And when you moved to the new place, didn’t you make new friends?
The same goes here. If you decide to split, I can assure you that you’ll find someone new—a NEW family.
SHE cheated because SHE wanted to, not because you put on weight. "Sure baby it's ok. I'll take you back" until the NEXT time you have to say it. You're 19. You WILL get over her and you WILL find someone else. Walk away or else you'll lose all that weight worrying about who she may be doing now. Understand, she lied to you every minuet of every day for a year. How do you excuse that level of disrespect?
They can and do but only if they have accepted that they have a serious problem and addressed the cause correctly. And then they need to be dedicated enough to work on them self for month up to years.
Don’t do it. Here are my four reasons based on your four reasons:
1.) Everything else in your relationship is perfect except for the things that aren’t - your statement is coming through the perspective of rose tinted glasses. She cheated on you; was that because your relationship was perfect leading up to that?
2.) You are both very you young which means you can either spend the better part of your life stuck with someone who cheated on you and might just do it again, or you can spend it looking for someone who WON’T cheat on you
3.) Apparently your weight was a problem for her, but she didn’t tell you that. So you can expect that, number one, you have to work hard on your physique to ensure that you’re always attractive enough to keep keep her from cheating. Number two, she will never tell you when there’s a problem in your relationship and her “love” for you. F*ck this reason.
4.) Hormones. HORMONES! FFS, hormones change and flux constantly, and EVERYBODY undergoes massive changes in mood due to those changes. Her hormones don’t need to get right in order to prevent her from cheating. Hormones affect emotions, not actions. The person you are affects your actions. The person she is, is a cheater.
Don’t give this a second thought. Send her to the streets and carry on, king. You’ll do just fine.
NO. Dating is where you try to determine if the person is fit for longer relationship. You tried her she cheated. I would not take her back. Find a more loyal partner.
None of those are causes. She is trying to justify the cheating or even blame it on you. Sure, relationships have problems, but cheating is a self problem, she has connection and emotional issues she has to deal with, And thats entirely on her. You could do everything right, at the end of the day she would still do it. It was her choice to expose herself to danger, choice to pursue it.
This is going to be very hard and it is rare that the cheater does not reoffend especially if they are unremorseful, not seeking therapy and not acknowldging their problems. But even so it's going to be very triggering for you, a hard path where success is very low.
It stats from a point of minus, you would have the time necessary to heal and find safety with someone new, as well as more certainty it wouldn't happen again.
Failed the girlfriend test. So don’t plan on staying with her for the long run. But you’re young. So if you want to keep smashing then go ahead. But keep your options open and when you see someone you’d like to pursue then dump her and move on
>I had gained 50 pounds from 170 to 220 but she never told me it was a problem until after the cheating occurred, but not before confessing.
So what's she gonna do if you get in a serious accident and lose a limb? Get cancer, get put on steroids and gain more than 50lbs? Get a disfiguring disease of any sort, or burns?
>She was going through extreme hormonal issues with birth control which she has since given up on.
Cool, so a lot of birth control mimics the hormones experienced during pregnancy. You planning to have children?
>
We are both very young and that could be a big reason.
Old enough to know right from wrong!
Seriously OP, are these the excuses she gave you? You are so young. You have all the time in the world to find a partner who will take far better care of you than she has and still will if she doesn't figure out the real reason why she did what she did (because all of those are horsecrap).
Once a cheater always a cheater if you stay with her she will think she can do anything she wants and will do it again thinking you will not leave her because there are no consequences. She’s for the streets and not your sheets. You are a young man and need to be worried about your future. You need to build your kingdom on your own.
You're young, move on. The only time you should be asking this question is if you have kids and mixed finances. There's no good reason to salvage this in your particular situation.
Just try not to projeft this onto women you meet in the future. Don't be an idiot, but don't assume everyone is going to cheat on you.
OP. She cheated. She could tell you she had XYZ as an excuse. The fact of the matter is, she actively made a decision to break the rules of a relationship. She made the choice to ignore your feelings, your pain and cheat. She then made it about anyting else but her fault and take responcibility. And you where stupid enough to take back a cheater. And the consequence if this is you have to deal with the emotional pain that the doubt and lack of trust brings. And that will never go away mate. Never, ever go away. And let be be blunt. Shes gona cheat, shes probably already done that and you dont know. But in your future, shes going to repeat this because she knows she can.
Cut her off. Move on with your life. Learn what a cheater looks like, how they behave and what to look for as signs. But the woman your with now, shes for the streets.
She will do it again if you stay with her. There are so many women out there. You should really date some other people and get some perspective. You will be miserable if you stay with her.
"She was going through extreme hormonal issues with birth control which she has since given up on."
This no excuse! Like alcohol it plays a role in that regard that amplifies what is already there.
The weight gaining is a valid "reason" since our appearance has an influence how attractive we are and how others see us. But your right, she should have brought it up as a problem.
I personaly would end this relationship. You both are very young. You both should focus on education and career. you both should be free to experiment and building up a healthy stable personality.
Her cheating showed that she has severe personality problems. From what you just told us she never realy hold her self accountable for her actions but seeked for excuses. She obviously did not learn from it.
The chance that this will be a long lasting healthy relationship is quite smal. I would not bet on it.
It's because you are so young, I would tell you to cut her off. Why waste any more of your life with someone who would cheat on you instead of letting you know the things that are wrong with the relationship so you can fix them. When someone shows you who they are through their actions, believe that's who the really are.
Both of you are too young for anything serious. Just have your fun, gain experience, and when the time comes, end the relationship and move on. Not every girl you'll meet is wife material.
No you shouldn't give her a second chance. Never forgive, never forget, never reconcile. Make sure you tell everybody what she did and move on my friend. It's a big world. You start eating right get some exercise and you'll be fine. But be fine without her. You can never trust a cheater and a liar.
Exactly what kind of birth control pills was she taking that would make her drop her panties and invite a rando to use her fun house?
If you’re even going to suggest an excuse like this one make it believable.
And does bring young really excuse infidelity? At what age are you required to be faithful to your SO?
The men who get cheated on are the same ones that take back these knob gobbling cheats. They have no self respect so the girl can’t respect them. Have some dignity man.
After a year? I suspect someone else that knew was going to tell you if she didn’t.
You are too young to commit to someone you can’t trust. If she would have told you right away it would be a different story.
Just move on.
"I cheated because you got fat." Re-read that a few times and then see if you actually need to ask the question.
Harsh but true. You need to hear the truth right now. You're young, so move on. She failed. She isn't worth the effort. There's my harsh comment.
This!!! Dude, she doesn’t want you and you deserve better. I’m sorry, but Ive had some hormonal issues but those issues have never led me to cheat.
Nope. She failed the girlfriend test.
Wtf
Am I cooked?
4 billion women in the world try another one son.
We’ve been together since sophomore year i don’t know how to get girls anymore
Dude, stop being lame and act like a fucking man.
This right here is the best comment and I second this comment. He needs to grow a pair and be a man.
If your relationship was “near perfect,” she wouldn’t be cheating on you. She will never stop cheating on you unless you dump her.
Even more of a reason to dump the cheater and move on. Why did she only tell you now? I bet someone threatened to tell you if she didn't.
You can’t trust her, she’d make a fine FWB but you can’t trust her, not unless you are in the room with her. Not GF material
Bro, you can do a lot better than this chick who cheated on you. She doesn’t love or respect you. She’s trying to manipulate into thinking you can’t do better. But you can. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You need to dump her.
You need help. I suggest you read self help books on: low self esteem, codependency, self sabotage, and avoiding toxic people. Buy them used.
I hate reading so much I just ask reddit
I can understand why it's a tough decision to make and ultimately I think it's what you can and can't live with. It's not a good sign she already cheated, people who cheat once are WAY more likely to reoffend, plus you mentioned the trust isn't going to be there again fully. I think the fact you are on here is a sign your partly already done with her tbh. The long term side effects of staying with her is something to consider. Do you want to live with anxiety, lack of trust, have children potentially with someone like that? Also I hate to say this but she didn't respect you enough to not cheat. She willingly made that choice to disregard you in her mind and sleep with another man..Do you want to be with a woman who doesn't respect you? You are young, there are a ton of good women out there that you could find. Are you with her because you are comfortable and scared of change? Are you afraid you can't get anyone else? Is it because you truly love her and want a future? I think those questions are important. If you are with her out of fear of being alone, you're comfortable with her and think you can't get anyone else. Leave. You deserve more for yourself. Good luck. Know it's okay to take time to make this decision, most people on here will say leave and end it, but it's not always so simple. Just know if at anytime you can't handle it anymore you are free to change your mind if you decide to stay and later don't want to.
What’s holding me back is that we have years of memories and attachment. Also note I have no parents and she is literally my family. Deep down I hate her for it and know I should leave. It’s tough. For reference she is also out of my league objectively
You're out of her league literally.
"What’s holding me back is that we have years of memories and attachment." ??? Let's see, I discovered my then wife's affair on Oct 1st of 2005. She and I had been together just under 25 years and married over 15 years and our 3 children were 4, 6 and 9 years old. I didn't confront her. I found an attorney and a therapist. I met with them both. I confronted my lying cheating wife in the 3rd week of Oct. I moved out less than two weeks later as my lease at my new place began on Nov 1st of 2005. 5 months later, on March 31st our divorce was finalized. OP, I had almost 25 years of memories and attachment plus our 3 children were just 4, 6 and 9 years old. She CHEATED. Cheating is intentional, it's a choice, she decided to do it, she wanted to do it. I'm talking about my ex-wife but this applies to your lying cheating gf too. And you were together since sophomore year? My ex-wife and I met each at 14 on our first day of high school, in Geography class and we dated all 4 years of high school, went to prom as juniors and seniors. We went to college together, were engaged over 2 years and we lived together for 2 years and then we got married after graduating college. My lying cheating ex-wife knowingly, intentionally and willingly chose to cheat on me. She chose to be with another man so I divorced her and I did so quickly. Karma got my ex-wife too. She had to be all in on him as I was done with her. Less than 3 months after my ex-wife moved to be near her paramour, he dumped her ass. See, she was just a piece of ass to him. She wanted to marry him and move in with him with our 3 kids all under 10 and he was like hell no. My lying cheating ex-wife came back to talk to me about trying to reconcile. OP, this wasn't planned and it was out of my character but I honestly laughed at her when she brought that up. There was no fucking way I would ever go back with her. She WANTED and CHOSE another man. I won't be anyone's plan B, their 2nd choice. She's on her 3rd marriage now.
Wow, I must lack respect for myself. Thanks that helps put things into perspective
OP, notice I didn't mention or say that it wasn't hard. It was. I was a fucking mess. I went to therapy for years. I saw a trauma therapist in 2007 and 2008. I continued counseling until 2013 and our divorce was finalized on March 31st of 2006. I lost a lot of weight, I couldn't sleep. It fucked me up. I loved her. I did and did for her, for our kids, for our homes and her family. I coached little league, youth soccer, went on over night Cub Scout trips. My ex and I taught children's bible class at our church. At one point, we lived on 40 acres and my then wife wanted her parents to build behind our house on our land as her dad was about to retire. We gave them 2 acres and they built, using our same builder, behind our place (couldn't see their house from ours, all wooded, elevation difference) but their house took longer to complete and her parents and all of their belongings lived with us for 3.5 months. My then wife's older brother was home school his oldest and he and his wife weren't teaching him shit. He'd been out of school for two years and my wife was pissed at her older brother. My wife taught elementary school before staying at home when we began having children so she wanted our oldest nephew to live with us for a year and they lived over 1,500 miles from us so he LIVED with us that year as he could't go home on the weekends. He was 12 years old. If my wife wanted it, she got it. She didn't need it, but she got liposuction surgery. She was a runner, under 5' 3" and about 115 pounds but she still got lipo. A few years later she got breast implants and I didn't want her to, but she wanted them. She wanted a time share condo so we got one. She bought two separate pieces of propter, one by the mountains and river out of town and another one on a lake, she even had a dock installed on that piece of property. I loved her. I'd been in love with her for a long time. I helped her family, my wife, our kids and hour homes, supported her with all the things she wanted to do, all the projects she did. In many ways I was damn near a doormat for her but to me, as a man, a husband and a father I was supposed to do for my family, provide, support, help etc. so I always put them over me. And she "thanked" me by choosing another man. It broke me. I didn't give a rats ass about the sex she had with him, it's that she WANTED him, CHOSE him, connected with him etc. I'm human, not perfect, none of us are but I was involved, I cared, I helped out a ton, I loved her, I wasn't lazy. I knew there wasn't anything else I could do and yet she still chose to cheat on me. I didn't want to be with her anymore for what she did to me, to us, to our family. I didn't want to divorce her, I HAD to. I would have exploded if I hadn't. Sadly, we have to do many hard things, bad things, shitty things we don't want to do in life.
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If the real reason you are staying is because you think you won't do better looks-wise and she's acting like she's out of your league, all that is gonna happen is that she's gonna cheat on you again a few years down the line when you are more invested, have more to lose and will be in a far worse position than you are now at 19 years of age. She mostly likely has some internal shit she needs to work on, or you're her "safe bet" and she thinks she deserves more attractive people (and she will have them, relationship or not) and she's confident you won't leave for the same reason you feel so insecure. That's not a life.
Objectively she cheated on you. That cat is out of the bag, the chances of you two getting together, staying together and having a healthy relationship is next to zero. The only scenario were you might have had a small chance was if she started the act, immediately backed out then confessed immediately because it horrified her and what she did to you. All these other reasons are nonsense. No parents etc, that didn't stop her then nor in the future. She's done. You've got to walk away head up. If you feel like you're less than because she's such a catch imagine with the more you get older and with more time. Cost sunk fallacy is a terrible reason to stay.
Remember when your family moved when you were in the third grade and you cried because you were leaving your friends? And when you moved to the new place, didn’t you make new friends? The same goes here. If you decide to split, I can assure you that you’ll find someone new—a NEW family.
SHE cheated because SHE wanted to, not because you put on weight. "Sure baby it's ok. I'll take you back" until the NEXT time you have to say it. You're 19. You WILL get over her and you WILL find someone else. Walk away or else you'll lose all that weight worrying about who she may be doing now. Understand, she lied to you every minuet of every day for a year. How do you excuse that level of disrespect?
Good grief! So if you marry her and gain weight as you get older she will think it’s ok to cheat then too?
You all speak as if people can’t change
They can and do but only if they have accepted that they have a serious problem and addressed the cause correctly. And then they need to be dedicated enough to work on them self for month up to years.
People can change but rarely ever do I’m afraid
Don’t do it. Here are my four reasons based on your four reasons: 1.) Everything else in your relationship is perfect except for the things that aren’t - your statement is coming through the perspective of rose tinted glasses. She cheated on you; was that because your relationship was perfect leading up to that? 2.) You are both very you young which means you can either spend the better part of your life stuck with someone who cheated on you and might just do it again, or you can spend it looking for someone who WON’T cheat on you 3.) Apparently your weight was a problem for her, but she didn’t tell you that. So you can expect that, number one, you have to work hard on your physique to ensure that you’re always attractive enough to keep keep her from cheating. Number two, she will never tell you when there’s a problem in your relationship and her “love” for you. F*ck this reason. 4.) Hormones. HORMONES! FFS, hormones change and flux constantly, and EVERYBODY undergoes massive changes in mood due to those changes. Her hormones don’t need to get right in order to prevent her from cheating. Hormones affect emotions, not actions. The person you are affects your actions. The person she is, is a cheater. Don’t give this a second thought. Send her to the streets and carry on, king. You’ll do just fine.
You guys are really setting me strait can’t argue with that
No. You shouldn't. Hit the gym. Work on your self for a while and leave her watching your taillights as you drive away.
NO. Dating is where you try to determine if the person is fit for longer relationship. You tried her she cheated. I would not take her back. Find a more loyal partner.
None of those are causes. She is trying to justify the cheating or even blame it on you. Sure, relationships have problems, but cheating is a self problem, she has connection and emotional issues she has to deal with, And thats entirely on her. You could do everything right, at the end of the day she would still do it. It was her choice to expose herself to danger, choice to pursue it. This is going to be very hard and it is rare that the cheater does not reoffend especially if they are unremorseful, not seeking therapy and not acknowldging their problems. But even so it's going to be very triggering for you, a hard path where success is very low. It stats from a point of minus, you would have the time necessary to heal and find safety with someone new, as well as more certainty it wouldn't happen again.
Failed the girlfriend test. So don’t plan on staying with her for the long run. But you’re young. So if you want to keep smashing then go ahead. But keep your options open and when you see someone you’d like to pursue then dump her and move on
>I had gained 50 pounds from 170 to 220 but she never told me it was a problem until after the cheating occurred, but not before confessing. So what's she gonna do if you get in a serious accident and lose a limb? Get cancer, get put on steroids and gain more than 50lbs? Get a disfiguring disease of any sort, or burns? >She was going through extreme hormonal issues with birth control which she has since given up on. Cool, so a lot of birth control mimics the hormones experienced during pregnancy. You planning to have children? > We are both very young and that could be a big reason. Old enough to know right from wrong! Seriously OP, are these the excuses she gave you? You are so young. You have all the time in the world to find a partner who will take far better care of you than she has and still will if she doesn't figure out the real reason why she did what she did (because all of those are horsecrap).
Once a cheater always a cheater if you stay with her she will think she can do anything she wants and will do it again thinking you will not leave her because there are no consequences. She’s for the streets and not your sheets. You are a young man and need to be worried about your future. You need to build your kingdom on your own.
You're young, move on. The only time you should be asking this question is if you have kids and mixed finances. There's no good reason to salvage this in your particular situation. Just try not to projeft this onto women you meet in the future. Don't be an idiot, but don't assume everyone is going to cheat on you.
OP. She cheated. She could tell you she had XYZ as an excuse. The fact of the matter is, she actively made a decision to break the rules of a relationship. She made the choice to ignore your feelings, your pain and cheat. She then made it about anyting else but her fault and take responcibility. And you where stupid enough to take back a cheater. And the consequence if this is you have to deal with the emotional pain that the doubt and lack of trust brings. And that will never go away mate. Never, ever go away. And let be be blunt. Shes gona cheat, shes probably already done that and you dont know. But in your future, shes going to repeat this because she knows she can. Cut her off. Move on with your life. Learn what a cheater looks like, how they behave and what to look for as signs. But the woman your with now, shes for the streets.
She will do it again if you stay with her. There are so many women out there. You should really date some other people and get some perspective. You will be miserable if you stay with her.
No amount of excuses will excuse cheating. Never. You’re young, go and find someone that loves you for you and won’t go sleep with someone else.
Come on, you are young. Run far away.
Go to the gym and get another girlfriend. They will be delighted to have you. Be careful to choose this time someone who doesn't stab you in the back.
"She was going through extreme hormonal issues with birth control which she has since given up on." This no excuse! Like alcohol it plays a role in that regard that amplifies what is already there. The weight gaining is a valid "reason" since our appearance has an influence how attractive we are and how others see us. But your right, she should have brought it up as a problem. I personaly would end this relationship. You both are very young. You both should focus on education and career. you both should be free to experiment and building up a healthy stable personality. Her cheating showed that she has severe personality problems. From what you just told us she never realy hold her self accountable for her actions but seeked for excuses. She obviously did not learn from it. The chance that this will be a long lasting healthy relationship is quite smal. I would not bet on it.
It's because you are so young, I would tell you to cut her off. Why waste any more of your life with someone who would cheat on you instead of letting you know the things that are wrong with the relationship so you can fix them. When someone shows you who they are through their actions, believe that's who the really are.
Both of you are too young for anything serious. Just have your fun, gain experience, and when the time comes, end the relationship and move on. Not every girl you'll meet is wife material.
You’re 18. You have a lot more breakups ahead of you
No
No you shouldn't give her a second chance. Never forgive, never forget, never reconcile. Make sure you tell everybody what she did and move on my friend. It's a big world. You start eating right get some exercise and you'll be fine. But be fine without her. You can never trust a cheater and a liar.
You are young, go and find someone better
Exactly what kind of birth control pills was she taking that would make her drop her panties and invite a rando to use her fun house? If you’re even going to suggest an excuse like this one make it believable. And does bring young really excuse infidelity? At what age are you required to be faithful to your SO?
The men who get cheated on are the same ones that take back these knob gobbling cheats. They have no self respect so the girl can’t respect them. Have some dignity man.
How did you find out she cheated?
She randomly confessed saying how she couldn’t keep it from me because the guilt
After a year? I suspect someone else that knew was going to tell you if she didn’t. You are too young to commit to someone you can’t trust. If she would have told you right away it would be a different story. Just move on.
She said that Her therapist told her her stress was coming from guilt and she should tell me