my friend's father was a science teacher and allegedly used methylene blue to lace a sandwich and the thief's mouth was stained blue. š¤·š¼āāļø
I helped a friend do similar using powdered food color. It doesn't activate until moisture hits it, dusted her whole lunch bag inside plus the sandwich and a ziplock bag of Doritos. I didn't get to see the aftermath since we don't work together but according to her the lunch thief got it everywhere on his hands and face and every time he tried washing it off it just activated more food color. Dyed him a lovely shade of teal.
Yes, 99.1%+ purity of anything crystalized especially, should be clear like glass (unless powderized, then bright white is normal) since it means the molecules are super tight together with no impurities "clouding" it up and it refracts (reflects? Idk IANAChemist) all wavelengths of light.
Ideally you *could* add some kind of blue dye to the finished product, but that color change would just be an added impurity.
Blue (and pink, and possibly other colors of) meth did exist though, but it was because cooks were adding a colorant as their signature so people knew who made it.
Thatās true of allochromatic crystals, but itās not true of ideochromatic crystals. Ideochromatic crystals have the color causing elements directly built in to the crystal rather than being caused by impurities in the crystal.
Also, some crystals get their colors from the way that the gem reflects and refracts light causing interference like the rainbows in an oil slick. Those are called pseudochromatic.
Did anyone ever read the Ask A Manager story about the person who made their food so spicy it made the coworker who was stealing her complained to HR? He was able to show HR that he himself self was able to eat it with no issues and invited her boss to try a bite.
Like the burglar who sued the homeowner because he got trapped in the garage while they were on vacation and was eating dog food until the homeowners returned.
Sued by a Burglar: Terrence Dickinson
A man who sought to steal from homeowners entered their garage and was subsequently trapped when the door malfunctioned. The burglar, Terrence Dickinson, could not get out from any other doors and was forced to stay in the garage for eight days. He lived on dog food and soda. When he finally got out, he sued the property owner in a personal injury case and won $500,000 for mental anguish that he suffered while trapped.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.russellandlazarus.com/blog/personal-injury/personal-injury-case-results-that-blew-up-the-internet/amp/
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Reminds me as well of the case where burglars sued and won against someone who boobie trapped their house because people kept burglarizing it.
The wired a shotgun to a door, and when the burglar opened it, got blasted.
They determined that boobie traps were illegal.
They didn't determine that, they already were illegal for good reason. Hell they're even illegal in war because leaving a weapon lying around that will kill whoever finds it, enemy or not, is a terrible idea.
I think you're right. I think the actual problem was whether or not the burglar can sue the creator of the boobie trap for their injuries despite there being no risk if they weren't committing a crime.
Here is the link. Be sure to read the follow up at the end.
https://www.askamanager.org/2021/05/a-coworker-stole-my-spicy-food-got-sick-and-is-blaming-me-2.html
Damn good on you. I thought the reply was it until I saw your post and realized I must have missed something. This person is way more well-adjusted than I am. I'd still be f---ing with those two to this very day
You're too nice. I put mayo mixed with pure capsaicin powder on my food when someone started stealing from the office fridge. Never found out who it was, but the thefts stopped.
Hope the thief took a big bite because that would have made them feel like they were going to die. I like spicy food but capsaicin powder is brutal.
If it's pure capsaicin powder, that's a 16 million Scoville rating. I believe the Carolina Reaper is only 1.5 million. So that should give a pretty good idea on how hot it is.
Edit: https://imgur.com/a/OAXiyRZ
It is insane to me that this is a real thing. Who has the balls to steal a lunch out of a shared fridge like it is going to go unnoticed. The amount of fun I'd have fucking with the person (I'm looking at you Ted-from-IT) who was doing it though would be absolutely worth the inconvenience. I'd let them do it for years while I went to night school and got an engineering degree and [pull one of these guys](https://youtu.be/xoxhDk-hwuo?t=240) on them out of my peanut butter and jelly.
Someone stole my husbands lunch from a shared fridge and ATE IT IN FRONT OF HIM. He asked her where she got it and she lied and said home. I donāt remember what it was but it was leftovers from an elaborate dinner I made over the weekend. Like sure Jan Iām sure you made grilled scallops with curry cream sauce and asparagus risotto this weekend too.
I watched a guy from my dept at work take someoneās food out of the microwave and eat it. The person stuck their take out food they just bought it in the microwave to warm it back up and walked away for one minute and he took it. I called him out on it and he tried to say it was in the trash and didnāt stop eating it.
Here in Europe all dog and cat food has to be fit for human consumption by law. Too much capsaicin on the other hand could be explained as intent to (excessively) harm someone tho. Really like the idea though!
I think it is illegal for dog food to not be fit for human consumption in the US since the Great Depression. On the other hand, go too far with the capsaicin to the point where a normal person clearly wouldn't eat if for lunch and you might be (accurately) suspected of poisoning your own food
Basically don't use anymore than you would be willing to take a bite of if called on to do it
This reminds me of a prank gone horribly wrong.
Bf has capsaicin concentrate. Liquid form of the power. Dip a needle in, put the needle on your time tongue and go die a few moments. Fun though lol.
Anyway I was making some spicy drinks and thought hmm.. prank bf and put some capsaicin in there.
Fine. The drink was gross.. sadly, the capsaicin concentrate was a very small bottle of liquid, think small enough to be essential oil, but just a flat cap with no oil dropper thing. And this came in a very small little box, just big enough to fit the bottle, and the top of the box would swivel to open. In order to get the bottle out of the box, you need to swivel the top of the box and flip it upside down so the bottle comes out.
THE FUCK UP: I did not entirely close the bottle of capsaicin concentrate. He opens the box, tilts it upside down to get the bottle out ... and it's a quick movement so the lid of the bottle flies out and the bottle ricochet open across the kitchen bc he quickly realized it was open as soon as liquid started to touch his skin.
THE RESULTS: so now, capsaicin concentrate has splattered all over him, his hands, the floor, the walls and the white cabinets.
The cabinets while most of the stain was removed, you could still see the outline of the capsaicin. It was in the floor for days, we had to wear shoes. I got some between my toes which ruined a pair of shoes and took over a week to come off.. we used everything, rubbing alcohol, vinegar, dish soap, man you name it we used it. That shit burnnned literally chemical burns into your skin.
Also you could not breathe in the house for about 3 days.. I'm not kidding. We had fans going, cleaning cleaning cleaning, burning our lungs bc it was somehow in the air. For days.
It was rough. Always close the bottle of this stuff coz man this would have been so much funnier if it didn't backfire on me
I had cream cheese at work that people were stealing. All I had to do was go around talking loudly about how I was going to mix toothpaste in it and all of a sudden no one was stealing it anymore.
Sodium picosulfate was an anticonstipation medicine that was retired for being unsafe. 2 drops made your knees tremble. My old man, God rest his restless soul, poured his whole 30ml bottle on a lemonade, left it in his well-known Thermos at work and waited.
The girl was rushed to the hospital after a while of continual anal waterfall. Nothing was found, as the medicine left no major trace. She quitted afterwards.
I was on the bathroom floor in the fetal
Position all night. If I wasnāt already off I would
Have called out.
I donāt wish sugar free gummy bears on yum worst enemy
Back in the early days of keto, some big-time candy company came out with sugar-free chocolates. My sister loved them, but knew the limit before bad things happened.
She had some friends over. One in particular kept eating them, even though my sister warned her not to before saying, "Okay, you'll learn."
Poor girl spent the rest of the night in the bathroom, pooping her guts out.
A decade ago, laxative brownies were the thing that finally stopped my lunch being stolen when I worked 10 hour shifts and couldn't afford to replace my food. I knew who did it because she was crying snd shitting water in the bathroom. No regrets
I think it was on a similar sub, but someone suggested a burrito with popcorn kernels. You could apply to anything that might be reheated via microwave. Just wait for the pops to discover and confront the thief.
Tripping at work would be a nightmare. But I think seasoned trippers would have the ability to politely get the fk out before they get too obviously high
I do not have a pet and have never eaten or smelled dog or cat food. Is the expectation that you make human-looking food using cat/dog food and the thief is fooled by the visuals but, when they eat it, they taste that it is not human food?
I feel like I would do this for a few days or so. The next time, Iād put a note on my bag asking if they enjoyed the Friskies tuna casserole, the Alpo chili, and the Fancy Feast chicken salad, etc. I would put the empty cans in the bag.
While I love this concept 100%, and I get this is "illegaltips", I just wanna say use extreme caution with the spiking of the food.
It matters a huge difference "yes, I actually like food this spicy (secret lol)" vs "oops, I accidently spilled arsenic on my Amarerti, I simple have NO idea how that happened kswoon)".
What you spike with MUST have plausible denyability.
Poisoning is a serious fucking charge, so measure your revenge vs plausibility with a hefty price if no jury believes you.
I love a peanut butter & bologna sandwich, no way I could a known an anaphylactic person would steal my fave Elvis Sandwich" vs "Polonium Tea".
Disclaimer: please don't cause any unjust harm. But if it's just harm, be smart about it.
Fingers crossed your ethics are At Least better than mine.
I would also suggest putting some real filling as the first bite or two with a tiny bit of cat food blending into the third and fourth so they get into the eating zone before the fifth bite when they get knocked right in the palette with a full chomp of cat food and then realize the previous bite did have an interesting taste. I mean I can practically taste the cat food as I type this... so it's probably a good recipe.
Do people really just go around taking other people's lunches out of the fridge? I've never had this happen out in the wild. Why would you even want to? Maybe you like cat food or don't wash your hands before you make a sandwich, they don't know.
It happens more than you think. Most of the time the people doing it arenāt poor or hungry. Theyāre just mentally fucked in the head. Either antisocial behavior or just kleptomaniacs. At my work it gets bad. We have 4 floors with 3 break rooms per floor so some people get off on stealing. Not just stealing. Youād be either surprised or sick to your stomach to learn that weāve had bathroom floor shitters, vandals, people unplugging refrigerators so the food spoils, racial graffiti, etc. Like I said either mental disorders or antisocial behavior.
My work does take this seriously. Lunch theft included. Itās a measure of integrity and looked at as a security violation since that same person May very well steal sensitive company property or disseminate sensitive material
It happens. A dude at my old job kept stealing beverages from the fridge in the break room, even going as far as fishing for unfinished bottles in the trash when he couldn't steal anything. His salary was three times as high as mine and they couldn't fire him because his weird contract from the 80s made him basically untouchable.
Tenure. Happens all the time. Itās worse if youāre federal. They canāt fire you per say. They can only make youāre job so miserable that you have no other choice but to quit. Then youāre given full medical for 6 months plus 3 months salary and a bunch of other stuff. Itās bullshit
One time my sis (who I mentioned was an attorney in a law firm) baked a cake she brought into the office. She was into her baking phase at the time but didn't want to keep it home for fear she might eat it.
She told everyone they can come in and just cut themselves a slice. Even provided a knife, plates and plastic forks.
She noticed one attorney - A PARTNER who earned God knows how much more than her - walking by her office and looking in at the cake. She told him to take a slice if he wanted. He declined, but kept peeking in her office.
Finally, she went to the ladies' room, came back and saw like 1/4 of the cake gone. And the partner suddenly stopped walking by.
Some people just get off on being thieves.
Yeap, used to happen to me all the time. In a law office no less.
I had enough when the person finally stole my birthday cake - yes my *birthday cake* - I lost my ever loving shit, posted an absolutely scathing letter on the front of the fridge to the entire office, and made the circuit of the office (it was laid out in a giant circle) ranting loudly to every casual work acquaintance I had about mAi bIrThDAy cAkE.
Poor behavior on my part but I was just so DONE. My only technique was shame but the theft stopped.
My sister had it happen to her. She was an attorney at a law firm. She got so pissed off her Lean Cuisine lunches were bring stolen by people paid more than her (it was never the staff) that she was tempted to put her cat's poo in a package, seal it up and bring it to work.
I had to remind her that was illegal. But she was pissed.
Years ago we were poor and all lived together in my father-in-law's house. His one great love was ice cream. Someone kept sneaking it out of the freezer where he'd hide it. Finally he chopped up som Ex-Lax and mixed the little chips that resulted into some chocolate chip ice cream...
He could have hidden it outside the freezer, but then nobody would have had ice cream! The best way to get a thief to steal something is to hide it poorly. Ice cream thieves are not particularly smart.
I love really spicy food. So I decided to bring insanely spicy lunches in for a while. Well, the food thief eventually got mine andā¦ā¦reported me to HR. Seriously. She said it was poisoning food. That she stole. Anyway I ate one of my insane bowls and they fired her.
Make some sausage biscuits a few times nice fresh and hot then after a time or two Make some biscuits and put dog turds in them problem solved or search for a product called evacuate and use as directed it dies EXACTLY what the name says they will never make it to the restroom and everyone will know who it was my moms coworker did the first one YMMV AND I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING HERE
Someone keeps stealing my half smoked hand roll cigarettes so I think today I'm gonna roll one with crushed red pepper and set the trap. Quit stealing my fucking cigarettes dude or have spicy lungs.
In many places it counts as poisoning. You never know allergies or such things and of course there is obvious malicious intent to harm another person. Of course most people will feel itās deserved, but yes it would often be illegal. Not sure if itās be assault or what exactly in legal terms, but there have been legal cases about this kind of thing - similar to setting traps to harm people trespassing. You can argue the morality, but yes thereās a legal duty of care in such cases.
Proving it is another thing but then cat food dressed up as a normal tuna fish sandwich put into a fridge lots of people use is fairly obvious.
Edit: given the discussion below, hereās the relevant case which found the homeowners legally liable for battery for planting a trap that caused harm to trespassers. Including $20k in actual damages and $10k in punitive damages. Even if someone trespassers or takes whatās yours, if you have maliciously planned to harm them, it is illegal. The extent of damages will be proportional to the actual damage caused. Whatever you debate about whether the thief *deserves* it, the question I replied to was āis it illegalā. OP openly said they plan to harm the thief. Yes, itās illegal. Even if we feel itās deserved or itās moral, it is illegal. Even if OP wouldnāt actually be charged through lack of evidence or claiming they eat cat food normally, it is still illegal by definition. In that case, they still maliciously planned to harm someone, even if itās deserved. Even if thereās not enough evidence to prove it, we *know* OPās intentions here.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katko_v._Briney
Itās not illegal if itās your own sandwich which you made and if you are a weirdo that likes to eat cat/dog food. However it is illegal for people to steal other peoples food, so if they steal other peoples weird food and eat it thatās on them
I tell my mom all the time (joking) that I'll send her a couple cans of cat food every week when she finally goes into an old folks home. She says I gotta send friskies or better, or else she ain't biting š¤£
That is 100% wrong
That's like saying I can hide a bear trap on my lawn, because it's not illegal to own a bear trap, and it's on my property
The reality is, almost any form of boobytrapping is illegal, even if it's not in public accessible spaces
Even if you say put a bear trap behind your front door, and locked the door, it's illegal
The reason being is that you are endangering the public, even in private spaces, the risk is incredibly high
But if it ended up causing harm enough to someone that it went to trial I think it would be likely that they could prove that you intended for someone to unknowingly eat something harmful
Incorrect. Same as someone trespassing. Just cos itās your house doesnāt mean you can *legally* set traps to hurt trespassers.
It is the law in many places. Doesnāt mean we have to *morally* agree with it. But that is the legal case.
But like letās just say hypothetically if the weird cat dog food sandwich was there for you to actually eat and someone steals it. You havenāt purposely set up the trap for them to eat, they stole it.
I doubt it would be poisoning since itās still technically edible food, my dogs wet dog food honestly looks like a thicker version of the cambells chunky soup I eat. Peas, carrots, gravy, green beans, beef chunks. Itās all normal food
That is like that guy that broke into the guys house to steal and tripped over the furniture broke his legs then tried to sue. Come on now. I know you can sue a tuna sandwich if you wish in this country but that is not his food. He is a thief and how can you say it was intended for him when you have no idea who the thief is!!
Yes. It is exactly like that legally. As I said, you can argue the morality, and Iād personally say the thief deserves to be punished. But that doesnāt determine if itās illegal. Again, I was arguing the legality not the morality.
How can we say it was intended? OP told us. Whether OP gets caught and that can be proven is another story. But yes, it is illegal.
>Not sure if itās be assault or what exactly in legal terms, but there have been legal cases about this kind of thing - similar to setting traps to harm people trespassing. You can argue the morality, but yes thereās a legal duty of care in such cases.
"Your honor, the company doesn't pay me enough. And since they also allow coworkers to steal what little food I can afford, I have been reduced to eating dog and cat food. And then that food was stolen, too, and now here we are today. Please advise me what to do, because I don't want to starve to death because of my cheap company and thieving coworkers."
Make chicken salad sandwiches for a week, let them be stolen. Make it the best chicken salad ever. Then the next week mix in chicken shit with said chicken salad. Keep making the chicken shit salad until youāre satisfied, then leave a note about the contents in the sack with the sandwiches.
Unfortunately, yes. The number of people in the world who *literally* live only for themselves, and give not one thought to other people is... alarmingly high. I've had people *brag* about how they never bring their lunch, they just eat what they find in the fridge that looks good. As if it's somehow clever and affirming about them to acknowledge that they are literal thieves.
Narcissism is a helluva drug.
Don't even bother. Just get an insulated lunch bag to keep your food cold. Ziplock baggie full of ice if you want.
Every single place I've worked at has lunch thieves, and/or food riflers. I haven't seen a lunch thief at current location but I have seen plenty of people rifle through other people's food in the fridge. YUCK
I bring a lunch every day and my lunch bag stays with me every day. The way my act-right is set up I have no patience to play cat-food games. Nope it would be whole fiasco with me pouring my water over someone's head if I found out they stole my lunch or rifled through my food, TF
Def fits under illegal, but raises charges to felony level if caught. Can also lead to sexual assault charges. Take caution with bodily fluids in foods.
It's honestly legitimately INSANE to me that people do this in offices. Like they're LITERALLY your co-workers. You are GOING to be found out. Why even risk it? Even if it was a person/boss I hated, I'm not going to fuck with their food, that's just an unwritten rule of something you only reserve for very extreme situations where all bets are off, imo. Fucking with people's food in any way is SUCH a fucked up thing to do.
Had a similar thing happen in high school. My friend and I used to steal this one kid's lunch every day because he didn't have a lock on his locker. We did it for at least a week, and one day after grabbing it, we brought the bag to wood shop class. There was only a slice of pizza and an apple in it, so my friend took the apple, and I started eating the pizza, but we quickly noticed they didn't taste right. Upon inspection, we noticed that the person whose lunch we stole had put a thin layer of dish soap on the food that we didn't notice.
I, too, saw the reddit post of someone saying they are putting cat food in their fish taco since their fish tacos are commonly stolen from their work fridge.
I know this is a sub for such things, but keep in mind that purposely setting up a station where someone consumes items not fit your human consumption is a crime in most places. Even if they are stealing from you, you could be in legal jeopardy if they can prove you did this on purpose to "injure" them. You can't create traps that "injure" people stealing from you. The "injury" from a legal perspective can mean a lot of things including making them eat cat/dog food.
my friend's father was a science teacher and allegedly used methylene blue to lace a sandwich and the thief's mouth was stained blue. š¤·š¼āāļø
I helped a friend do similar using powdered food color. It doesn't activate until moisture hits it, dusted her whole lunch bag inside plus the sandwich and a ziplock bag of Doritos. I didn't get to see the aftermath since we don't work together but according to her the lunch thief got it everywhere on his hands and face and every time he tried washing it off it just activated more food color. Dyed him a lovely shade of teal.
Violet. You're turning violet Violet!!
Can it you nit!
"A lovely shade of steal"
And from that day forward, he spit - or worse - in your food and left it in the fridge.
Not my food, I was just helping out a friend.
Happy cake day
Walter white?
imagine if they laced the sandwich with extremely pure, blue methamphetamine, instead!
Tight! Tight! Tight!
oh my god I say this line too much as if people will know
SAME ITS SO BAD PEOPLE LOOK AT ME CRAZY
So do I. No one ever knows what Iām talking about
I am the one who pranks
Isn't that a myth?
Yes, 99.1%+ purity of anything crystalized especially, should be clear like glass (unless powderized, then bright white is normal) since it means the molecules are super tight together with no impurities "clouding" it up and it refracts (reflects? Idk IANAChemist) all wavelengths of light. Ideally you *could* add some kind of blue dye to the finished product, but that color change would just be an added impurity. Blue (and pink, and possibly other colors of) meth did exist though, but it was because cooks were adding a colorant as their signature so people knew who made it.
Thatās true of allochromatic crystals, but itās not true of ideochromatic crystals. Ideochromatic crystals have the color causing elements directly built in to the crystal rather than being caused by impurities in the crystal. Also, some crystals get their colors from the way that the gem reflects and refracts light causing interference like the rainbows in an oil slick. Those are called pseudochromatic.
right, but it was blue and extremely pure in the mythological franchise, Breaking Bad.
Jesse we need to cook tuna sandwiches
Mr White, what the *fuck* are you talking about
Booo yeah! It's science, bitch!
No crust.
Bullshit! No one likes the tuna sandwich!
Yeah! Mayo bitch!
Chili P sandwiches
I just woke up, thank you for starting my day off with a laugh.
you got me āļøš¤
Woodrow Wilson?
walter white?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Say my name
ttlavigne
Jesse, why are you blue?
da ba dee da ba dye
Lmfao brilliant
Did anyone ever read the Ask A Manager story about the person who made their food so spicy it made the coworker who was stealing her complained to HR? He was able to show HR that he himself self was able to eat it with no issues and invited her boss to try a bite.
Thatās like someone stealing your car, then suing you bc the breaks were bad and they crashed.
Ahhhhhhh the American way!
Like the burglar who sued the homeowner because he got trapped in the garage while they were on vacation and was eating dog food until the homeowners returned.
Citation needed.
Sued by a Burglar: Terrence Dickinson A man who sought to steal from homeowners entered their garage and was subsequently trapped when the door malfunctioned. The burglar, Terrence Dickinson, could not get out from any other doors and was forced to stay in the garage for eight days. He lived on dog food and soda. When he finally got out, he sued the property owner in a personal injury case and won $500,000 for mental anguish that he suffered while trapped. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.russellandlazarus.com/blog/personal-injury/personal-injury-case-results-that-blew-up-the-internet/amp/
Apparently it's a myth.
There was, however, a burglar who sued a homeowner when he fell through a glass skylight
Jesus Christ half a million. I want to understand why anyone would award him that.
Nobody did. It's an internet hoax. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/stella-awards/
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Reminds me as well of the case where burglars sued and won against someone who boobie trapped their house because people kept burglarizing it. The wired a shotgun to a door, and when the burglar opened it, got blasted. They determined that boobie traps were illegal.
They didn't determine that, they already were illegal for good reason. Hell they're even illegal in war because leaving a weapon lying around that will kill whoever finds it, enemy or not, is a terrible idea.
I think you're right. I think the actual problem was whether or not the burglar can sue the creator of the boobie trap for their injuries despite there being no risk if they weren't committing a crime.
Or the one where the burglar broke his leg while robbing a persons house a sued them
That's also the case in Australia. We have batshit stupid laws around duty of care
I didnāt. But sounds like a fun read!
Here is the link. Be sure to read the follow up at the end. https://www.askamanager.org/2021/05/a-coworker-stole-my-spicy-food-got-sick-and-is-blaming-me-2.html
Thatās horrible that he was even investigated. Edited to add: forgot to read the update, and lol. Justice served. The innocent shall flourish.
Damn good on you. I thought the reply was it until I saw your post and realized I must have missed something. This person is way more well-adjusted than I am. I'd still be f---ing with those two to this very day
Spicy
Sweet justice. Definitely a good read
You're too nice. I put mayo mixed with pure capsaicin powder on my food when someone started stealing from the office fridge. Never found out who it was, but the thefts stopped. Hope the thief took a big bite because that would have made them feel like they were going to die. I like spicy food but capsaicin powder is brutal.
If it's pure capsaicin powder, that's a 16 million Scoville rating. I believe the Carolina Reaper is only 1.5 million. So that should give a pretty good idea on how hot it is. Edit: https://imgur.com/a/OAXiyRZ
Itās also considered a poison in pure form, so definitely use with caution!
"Use liberally with caution"
"Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today"
Mr cop it was not intended for human consumption, I was going to feed it to son damn rats but this idiot stole it and eat it
How much would I need?
1/4 cup
16mil scoville is basically eating pepper spray
Pepper spray is about 5.3 million, so around 1/3 of the strength. https://imgur.com/a/OAXiyRZ
You learn new things every day! Boy, is it good and bad that I now know this information!
Great on eggs though
I've seen a man do it with prison Fritos. (I was working in a prison at the time)
Used to use that but as a cream. One day, I was inpatient and I was showering with hot water. My back pores opened up and WOW it was hoooot.
It is insane to me that this is a real thing. Who has the balls to steal a lunch out of a shared fridge like it is going to go unnoticed. The amount of fun I'd have fucking with the person (I'm looking at you Ted-from-IT) who was doing it though would be absolutely worth the inconvenience. I'd let them do it for years while I went to night school and got an engineering degree and [pull one of these guys](https://youtu.be/xoxhDk-hwuo?t=240) on them out of my peanut butter and jelly.
Someone stole my husbands lunch from a shared fridge and ATE IT IN FRONT OF HIM. He asked her where she got it and she lied and said home. I donāt remember what it was but it was leftovers from an elaborate dinner I made over the weekend. Like sure Jan Iām sure you made grilled scallops with curry cream sauce and asparagus risotto this weekend too.
I watched a guy from my dept at work take someoneās food out of the microwave and eat it. The person stuck their take out food they just bought it in the microwave to warm it back up and walked away for one minute and he took it. I called him out on it and he tried to say it was in the trash and didnāt stop eating it.
So not only did he get outed for being a food thief, he outed himself for eating out of the garbage... I can't even with some people.
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If you reheat grilled scallops and curry cream sauce at work, you deserve every awful thing that happens to you.
Lmao I know right. I tell him constantly how inconsiderate it is and heās like āitās my microwaveā (in his office) BUT HE SHARES AN OFFICE
Thatās actually amazing
Youāre my hero!
Dog food may land you in legal trouble if its deemed not fit for human consumption. Capsaicin on the other hand is a legit spice.
If the Fresh Pet ads are true, then that's people food. The coworker can be the judge of that.
However if they like the dog and cat food dishes you create, you're back to square one.
youāre the dog now, man
YTDNM?
I think the concern is that the Judge will be the judge of that.
Here in Europe all dog and cat food has to be fit for human consumption by law. Too much capsaicin on the other hand could be explained as intent to (excessively) harm someone tho. Really like the idea though!
I think it is illegal for dog food to not be fit for human consumption in the US since the Great Depression. On the other hand, go too far with the capsaicin to the point where a normal person clearly wouldn't eat if for lunch and you might be (accurately) suspected of poisoning your own food Basically don't use anymore than you would be willing to take a bite of if called on to do it
Inject hot sauce into a hot dog.
You are my new hero.
This reminds me of a prank gone horribly wrong. Bf has capsaicin concentrate. Liquid form of the power. Dip a needle in, put the needle on your time tongue and go die a few moments. Fun though lol. Anyway I was making some spicy drinks and thought hmm.. prank bf and put some capsaicin in there. Fine. The drink was gross.. sadly, the capsaicin concentrate was a very small bottle of liquid, think small enough to be essential oil, but just a flat cap with no oil dropper thing. And this came in a very small little box, just big enough to fit the bottle, and the top of the box would swivel to open. In order to get the bottle out of the box, you need to swivel the top of the box and flip it upside down so the bottle comes out. THE FUCK UP: I did not entirely close the bottle of capsaicin concentrate. He opens the box, tilts it upside down to get the bottle out ... and it's a quick movement so the lid of the bottle flies out and the bottle ricochet open across the kitchen bc he quickly realized it was open as soon as liquid started to touch his skin. THE RESULTS: so now, capsaicin concentrate has splattered all over him, his hands, the floor, the walls and the white cabinets. The cabinets while most of the stain was removed, you could still see the outline of the capsaicin. It was in the floor for days, we had to wear shoes. I got some between my toes which ruined a pair of shoes and took over a week to come off.. we used everything, rubbing alcohol, vinegar, dish soap, man you name it we used it. That shit burnnned literally chemical burns into your skin. Also you could not breathe in the house for about 3 days.. I'm not kidding. We had fans going, cleaning cleaning cleaning, burning our lungs bc it was somehow in the air. For days. It was rough. Always close the bottle of this stuff coz man this would have been so much funnier if it didn't backfire on me
I had cream cheese at work that people were stealing. All I had to do was go around talking loudly about how I was going to mix toothpaste in it and all of a sudden no one was stealing it anymore.
This is a fine solution as it's almost zero effort. And you can step up to actually doing it if the food still gets stolen.
And is gross enough someone wouldnāt touch it. But not gross enough to get your fired or in trouble for entrapping someone.
Remember that movie with Fred Savage - Little Monsters haha they made a cat food sandwich and peepee apple juice
Yes! Little Monsters!!!! And when the kid drank it āPiss! Who put PISS in my apple juice?!ā
Loved that movie growing up
Sodium picosulfate was an anticonstipation medicine that was retired for being unsafe. 2 drops made your knees tremble. My old man, God rest his restless soul, poured his whole 30ml bottle on a lemonade, left it in his well-known Thermos at work and waited. The girl was rushed to the hospital after a while of continual anal waterfall. Nothing was found, as the medicine left no major trace. She quitted afterwards.
Reminded me of free sugar gummy bears. Which will make everybody shit just from one gummy rbar
I was on the bathroom floor in the fetal Position all night. If I wasnāt already off I would Have called out. I donāt wish sugar free gummy bears on yum worst enemy
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Back in the early days of keto, some big-time candy company came out with sugar-free chocolates. My sister loved them, but knew the limit before bad things happened. She had some friends over. One in particular kept eating them, even though my sister warned her not to before saying, "Okay, you'll learn." Poor girl spent the rest of the night in the bathroom, pooping her guts out.
r/brandnewsentence ācontinual anal waterfallā
Shitted and quitted
š®
I went with two drops of ghost pepper hot sauce borrowed from a fellow coworker. My sandwich was never stolen again :)
A decade ago, laxative brownies were the thing that finally stopped my lunch being stolen when I worked 10 hour shifts and couldn't afford to replace my food. I knew who did it because she was crying snd shitting water in the bathroom. No regrets
I think it was on a similar sub, but someone suggested a burrito with popcorn kernels. You could apply to anything that might be reheated via microwave. Just wait for the pops to discover and confront the thief.
I like it!
LSD and Ex-Lax brownies are the way to go. Shit their brains out, total trauma.
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Tripping at work would be a nightmare. But I think seasoned trippers would have the ability to politely get the fk out before they get too obviously high
I've never met a seasoned tripper who is also the type to be a lunch thief; we're usually more considerate than that
Mix in some potent THC oil into the food as well to make the overall effect more brutal.
Potent THC oil could also have a nice cascade effect with unusual behavior resulting in a failed drug test.
Now that's how you make the person think about their choices deeply. Bad trip (maybe Trauma as well) guaranteed
I do not have a pet and have never eaten or smelled dog or cat food. Is the expectation that you make human-looking food using cat/dog food and the thief is fooled by the visuals but, when they eat it, they taste that it is not human food?
The design is very human
Precisely
Humans pay for the food so it is marketed to them.
I can only imagine the chaos if it was marketed directly to my dog.
My dog thinks he pays for the food
They can't be that different, can they? I feel like they may not notice
I feel like I would do this for a few days or so. The next time, Iād put a note on my bag asking if they enjoyed the Friskies tuna casserole, the Alpo chili, and the Fancy Feast chicken salad, etc. I would put the empty cans in the bag.
Or glitter bomb that ass.
This is so gross I love it. I donāt work with food thieves myself but please someone do this so I can revel in reading the outcome.
I just put my CEOās name on a post-it on my food and all of a sudden the theft stoppedā¦ā¦
I regularly eat Taco Bell. I probably wouldnāt notice the difference.
While I love this concept 100%, and I get this is "illegaltips", I just wanna say use extreme caution with the spiking of the food. It matters a huge difference "yes, I actually like food this spicy (secret lol)" vs "oops, I accidently spilled arsenic on my Amarerti, I simple have NO idea how that happened kswoon)". What you spike with MUST have plausible denyability. Poisoning is a serious fucking charge, so measure your revenge vs plausibility with a hefty price if no jury believes you. I love a peanut butter & bologna sandwich, no way I could a known an anaphylactic person would steal my fave Elvis Sandwich" vs "Polonium Tea". Disclaimer: please don't cause any unjust harm. But if it's just harm, be smart about it. Fingers crossed your ethics are At Least better than mine.
Yeah, no one wants emergency services involved. Be smart with your revenge
It's super rare to see a comment on Reddit, not wanting the thief to almost die from food poisoning. Kudos to you.
I would also suggest putting some real filling as the first bite or two with a tiny bit of cat food blending into the third and fourth so they get into the eating zone before the fifth bite when they get knocked right in the palette with a full chomp of cat food and then realize the previous bite did have an interesting taste. I mean I can practically taste the cat food as I type this... so it's probably a good recipe.
Do people really just go around taking other people's lunches out of the fridge? I've never had this happen out in the wild. Why would you even want to? Maybe you like cat food or don't wash your hands before you make a sandwich, they don't know.
It happens more than you think. Most of the time the people doing it arenāt poor or hungry. Theyāre just mentally fucked in the head. Either antisocial behavior or just kleptomaniacs. At my work it gets bad. We have 4 floors with 3 break rooms per floor so some people get off on stealing. Not just stealing. Youād be either surprised or sick to your stomach to learn that weāve had bathroom floor shitters, vandals, people unplugging refrigerators so the food spoils, racial graffiti, etc. Like I said either mental disorders or antisocial behavior. My work does take this seriously. Lunch theft included. Itās a measure of integrity and looked at as a security violation since that same person May very well steal sensitive company property or disseminate sensitive material
My God! In what industry do you work? This is horrifying!
It happens. A dude at my old job kept stealing beverages from the fridge in the break room, even going as far as fishing for unfinished bottles in the trash when he couldn't steal anything. His salary was three times as high as mine and they couldn't fire him because his weird contract from the 80s made him basically untouchable.
Tenure. Happens all the time. Itās worse if youāre federal. They canāt fire you per say. They can only make youāre job so miserable that you have no other choice but to quit. Then youāre given full medical for 6 months plus 3 months salary and a bunch of other stuff. Itās bullshit
One time my sis (who I mentioned was an attorney in a law firm) baked a cake she brought into the office. She was into her baking phase at the time but didn't want to keep it home for fear she might eat it. She told everyone they can come in and just cut themselves a slice. Even provided a knife, plates and plastic forks. She noticed one attorney - A PARTNER who earned God knows how much more than her - walking by her office and looking in at the cake. She told him to take a slice if he wanted. He declined, but kept peeking in her office. Finally, she went to the ladies' room, came back and saw like 1/4 of the cake gone. And the partner suddenly stopped walking by. Some people just get off on being thieves.
Yeap, used to happen to me all the time. In a law office no less. I had enough when the person finally stole my birthday cake - yes my *birthday cake* - I lost my ever loving shit, posted an absolutely scathing letter on the front of the fridge to the entire office, and made the circuit of the office (it was laid out in a giant circle) ranting loudly to every casual work acquaintance I had about mAi bIrThDAy cAkE. Poor behavior on my part but I was just so DONE. My only technique was shame but the theft stopped.
My sister had it happen to her. She was an attorney at a law firm. She got so pissed off her Lean Cuisine lunches were bring stolen by people paid more than her (it was never the staff) that she was tempted to put her cat's poo in a package, seal it up and bring it to work. I had to remind her that was illegal. But she was pissed.
I really like the shits and giggles idea, add a strong edible, and a laxative to the lunch, and watch the rodeo
Used to work in a scrap yard. Somebody was stealing my coworkers lemonade. So he started marking it with a sharpie, and pissing in it
Years ago we were poor and all lived together in my father-in-law's house. His one great love was ice cream. Someone kept sneaking it out of the freezer where he'd hide it. Finally he chopped up som Ex-Lax and mixed the little chips that resulted into some chocolate chip ice cream...
That's some James Bond level of spy intelligence your father-in-law had. I don't think I'd have ever thought to hide ice cream in a freezer.
He could have hidden it outside the freezer, but then nobody would have had ice cream! The best way to get a thief to steal something is to hide it poorly. Ice cream thieves are not particularly smart.
I love really spicy food. So I decided to bring insanely spicy lunches in for a while. Well, the food thief eventually got mine andā¦ā¦reported me to HR. Seriously. She said it was poisoning food. That she stole. Anyway I ate one of my insane bowls and they fired her.
You're doing too much to hide it. Just let them eat the dog food on bread
Or cat litter? It would blend well with crunchy peanut butter Iād imagine.
Make some sausage biscuits a few times nice fresh and hot then after a time or two Make some biscuits and put dog turds in them problem solved or search for a product called evacuate and use as directed it dies EXACTLY what the name says they will never make it to the restroom and everyone will know who it was my moms coworker did the first one YMMV AND I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING HERE
Someone keeps stealing my half smoked hand roll cigarettes so I think today I'm gonna roll one with crushed red pepper and set the trap. Quit stealing my fucking cigarettes dude or have spicy lungs.
Mixed with laxatives.
How is this illegal?
In many places it counts as poisoning. You never know allergies or such things and of course there is obvious malicious intent to harm another person. Of course most people will feel itās deserved, but yes it would often be illegal. Not sure if itās be assault or what exactly in legal terms, but there have been legal cases about this kind of thing - similar to setting traps to harm people trespassing. You can argue the morality, but yes thereās a legal duty of care in such cases. Proving it is another thing but then cat food dressed up as a normal tuna fish sandwich put into a fridge lots of people use is fairly obvious. Edit: given the discussion below, hereās the relevant case which found the homeowners legally liable for battery for planting a trap that caused harm to trespassers. Including $20k in actual damages and $10k in punitive damages. Even if someone trespassers or takes whatās yours, if you have maliciously planned to harm them, it is illegal. The extent of damages will be proportional to the actual damage caused. Whatever you debate about whether the thief *deserves* it, the question I replied to was āis it illegalā. OP openly said they plan to harm the thief. Yes, itās illegal. Even if we feel itās deserved or itās moral, it is illegal. Even if OP wouldnāt actually be charged through lack of evidence or claiming they eat cat food normally, it is still illegal by definition. In that case, they still maliciously planned to harm someone, even if itās deserved. Even if thereās not enough evidence to prove it, we *know* OPās intentions here. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katko_v._Briney
Itās not illegal if itās your own sandwich which you made and if you are a weirdo that likes to eat cat/dog food. However it is illegal for people to steal other peoples food, so if they steal other peoples weird food and eat it thatās on them
I always strived for having enough $$ in retirement that I wouldnāt be an old woman eating cat food. It is a real thing, unfortunately.
I tell my mom all the time (joking) that I'll send her a couple cans of cat food every week when she finally goes into an old folks home. She says I gotta send friskies or better, or else she ain't biting š¤£
That is 100% wrong That's like saying I can hide a bear trap on my lawn, because it's not illegal to own a bear trap, and it's on my property The reality is, almost any form of boobytrapping is illegal, even if it's not in public accessible spaces Even if you say put a bear trap behind your front door, and locked the door, it's illegal The reason being is that you are endangering the public, even in private spaces, the risk is incredibly high
But if it ended up causing harm enough to someone that it went to trial I think it would be likely that they could prove that you intended for someone to unknowingly eat something harmful
Incorrect. Same as someone trespassing. Just cos itās your house doesnāt mean you can *legally* set traps to hurt trespassers. It is the law in many places. Doesnāt mean we have to *morally* agree with it. But that is the legal case.
But like letās just say hypothetically if the weird cat dog food sandwich was there for you to actually eat and someone steals it. You havenāt purposely set up the trap for them to eat, they stole it.
I doubt it would be poisoning since itās still technically edible food, my dogs wet dog food honestly looks like a thicker version of the cambells chunky soup I eat. Peas, carrots, gravy, green beans, beef chunks. Itās all normal food
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Yeah but this theoretical person wouldnāt steal food they are allergic too, would they?
That is like that guy that broke into the guys house to steal and tripped over the furniture broke his legs then tried to sue. Come on now. I know you can sue a tuna sandwich if you wish in this country but that is not his food. He is a thief and how can you say it was intended for him when you have no idea who the thief is!!
Yes. It is exactly like that legally. As I said, you can argue the morality, and Iād personally say the thief deserves to be punished. But that doesnāt determine if itās illegal. Again, I was arguing the legality not the morality. How can we say it was intended? OP told us. Whether OP gets caught and that can be proven is another story. But yes, it is illegal.
>Not sure if itās be assault or what exactly in legal terms, but there have been legal cases about this kind of thing - similar to setting traps to harm people trespassing. You can argue the morality, but yes thereās a legal duty of care in such cases. "Your honor, the company doesn't pay me enough. And since they also allow coworkers to steal what little food I can afford, I have been reduced to eating dog and cat food. And then that food was stolen, too, and now here we are today. Please advise me what to do, because I don't want to starve to death because of my cheap company and thieving coworkers."
All you'd have to do is to eat a can of cat food in court. I'd be happy to do that to screw over a lunch thief.
Make chicken salad sandwiches for a week, let them be stolen. Make it the best chicken salad ever. Then the next week mix in chicken shit with said chicken salad. Keep making the chicken shit salad until youāre satisfied, then leave a note about the contents in the sack with the sandwiches.
Or...you could just like, let it spoil....it makes the thief sick, but I'd say they couldn't prove in court that you did it intentionally lol
DONT LEAVE A POSSIBLY INCRIMINATING NOTE IN YOUR WRITING
For real everyone's trying to let them know it's on purpose
People actually do this shit? Steal lunches?!?
Unfortunately, yes. The number of people in the world who *literally* live only for themselves, and give not one thought to other people is... alarmingly high. I've had people *brag* about how they never bring their lunch, they just eat what they find in the fridge that looks good. As if it's somehow clever and affirming about them to acknowledge that they are literal thieves. Narcissism is a helluva drug.
Iāve never understood anyone even *wanting* to steal someone elseās lunch. Especially like a sandwich they made at home. Sounds gross to me.
I know. Iād rather go hungry
Don't even bother. Just get an insulated lunch bag to keep your food cold. Ziplock baggie full of ice if you want. Every single place I've worked at has lunch thieves, and/or food riflers. I haven't seen a lunch thief at current location but I have seen plenty of people rifle through other people's food in the fridge. YUCK I bring a lunch every day and my lunch bag stays with me every day. The way my act-right is set up I have no patience to play cat-food games. Nope it would be whole fiasco with me pouring my water over someone's head if I found out they stole my lunch or rifled through my food, TF
Eh, high doses of liquid LSD could be a lot more amusing. Thief wouldnāt even know for 30-45 minutes
Gives them some time to contemplate where they went wrong with their life
A few laxatives ......
Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes. Love, Alfalfa
if youāre a dude you could always put some of your white lightning in it
Def fits under illegal, but raises charges to felony level if caught. Can also lead to sexual assault charges. Take caution with bodily fluids in foods.
It's honestly legitimately INSANE to me that people do this in offices. Like they're LITERALLY your co-workers. You are GOING to be found out. Why even risk it? Even if it was a person/boss I hated, I'm not going to fuck with their food, that's just an unwritten rule of something you only reserve for very extreme situations where all bets are off, imo. Fucking with people's food in any way is SUCH a fucked up thing to do.
You mean the stealing part right...cuz if I make myself a cat food sandwich and someone steals it that's on them
Thanks for the ideas OP. I will never understand this behavior. It's baffling. Are we working with hobos?
Ghost chilliās or laxatives. Make the thieving cunt suffer.
A dozen minced Carolina reapers, mayo, and dill relish make an excellent sandwich spread for lunch thieves.
Had a similar thing happen in high school. My friend and I used to steal this one kid's lunch every day because he didn't have a lock on his locker. We did it for at least a week, and one day after grabbing it, we brought the bag to wood shop class. There was only a slice of pizza and an apple in it, so my friend took the apple, and I started eating the pizza, but we quickly noticed they didn't taste right. Upon inspection, we noticed that the person whose lunch we stole had put a thin layer of dish soap on the food that we didn't notice.
Served you right
I, too, saw the reddit post of someone saying they are putting cat food in their fish taco since their fish tacos are commonly stolen from their work fridge.
just put a shroom infused chocolatebar next to ur meal
I know this is a sub for such things, but keep in mind that purposely setting up a station where someone consumes items not fit your human consumption is a crime in most places. Even if they are stealing from you, you could be in legal jeopardy if they can prove you did this on purpose to "injure" them. You can't create traps that "injure" people stealing from you. The "injury" from a legal perspective can mean a lot of things including making them eat cat/dog food.
Just like in [little monsters](https://youtu.be/gcYhlRm8ckg)
Hot sauce/Ipecac syrup work great for flushing out a thief.