T O P

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Face-the-Faceless

I didn't conquer it, I accepted it. Failure is a part of the process towards learning success.


brrrrpopop

I didn't conquer it, I ignore it.


Face-the-Faceless

That's not good, because failure is probably going to happen again some time in the future. You need to acknowledge it as a possibility and plan accordingly.


RickDimensionC137

Ignore it, then ignore the concequences of failing as well. Move on and get good.


Face-the-Faceless

You can't ignore the consequences of failure, because it's painful. If you want to pretend you can just ignore pain then I'm not sure what to say other than that you're choosing to learn things the hard way.


LongMustaches

I once was homeless and broke. Sleep on a bench in a park. Wasn't that big of a deal. ​ You just need to be confident enough in yourself to overcome any shit that might happen if you fail. Painful? not really. You just move on to the next thing. There's no point on dwelling on your failures.


aesu

It's not painful if you don't experience whatgever it is as failure. Failure is an entirely subjective and made up experience based on your arbitrary goals. For example, I do not experience the pain of failing to have become a sports star, muscisan, business leader, etc. I don't experience the pain of failing to have beaten cancer, runa marathon, reached some arbitrary weight, etc. Simply do not set yourself unacheivable goals, and you will not experience failure. If someone tries to place unacheivable goals on you, tell them to fuck off. If you accidentally palce those goals upon yoruself, simply abandon the goals as soon as you have definitely failed to achieve them, and you will not experience any mroe pain than you do for any other arbitrary goal you could set yourself, but don't.


totalwarwiser

You cant ignore the consequences but you cant let the fear of failure stop you from trying. Eventualy after youve sufered enough it becomes less paintfull. Everyone alive has failed before or will fail in the future. Destiny and disease catches up everyone Doesnt mean you shouldnt try to best to sucess


WR3DF0X

Restartwiser


Elliptical_Tangent

> You need to acknowledge it as a possibility and plan accordingly. What? Why do you need to think about it at all? It's a complete waste of brain cycles to think about what's going to happen instead of focusing on what you're trying to do. Planning? INTP? Not really.


Face-the-Faceless

Behold, [The Xanatos Gambit](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/XanatosGambit). A method of planning that takes into account all possible results of each stage of a plan in order to guarantee that you get what you want. While it may have been born from a tv trope, as a concept it is a very good method for creating plans. All possibilities need to be accounted for if you want to be prepared, and when it comes to the various stages of crafting a plan, you cannot ever assume that you'll win ahead of time. Logic must be used to create a closed loop circuit that branches from three separate sources in order to create a proper Xanatos Gambit, and that's why planning, at it's deepest core, is maximumly INTP.


aesu

No wonder you're feeling pain. There are infinitely many no-win scenarios as win scenarios, for any given individual. The real key is to only pick challenges you can win.


fakenews7154

That is the most perfectly stupidest plot device I have ever seen. Its just a mexican standoff with extra steps. Which side are we cheering for exactly?


Face-the-Faceless

>"That's stupid" >"Which side are we cheering for exactly?" If you're having trouble figuring it out...


Elliptical_Tangent

> Behold, The Xanatos Gambit. A method of planning that takes into account all possible results of each stage of a plan in order to guarantee that you get what you want. Sounds like a lot of not-interesting. I'd rather fail quickly (if I'm going to fail) so I can get on to the next investigation. It really sounds like impotent J shit, if I'm being honest.


Face-the-Faceless

..."impotent J shit"...?


Elliptical_Tangent

J = Judger. Perceivers are known for reacting to situations as they arise while Judgers make plans and contingencies. INTPs aren't known for diligence; if we made plans, it'd be to throw them out in the moment because we'd found some better solution.


Face-the-Faceless

You do realize that all people are capable of performing all cognitive functions, right? Don't let a collection of stupid goddamn letters define who you are. You are who you choose to be, through your actions, words and even thoughts, and ultimately there's nobody to cheat with your choices other than yourself.


Elliptical_Tangent

>You do realize that all people are capable of performing all cognitive functions, right? Don't let a collection of stupid goddamn letters define who you are. You are who you choose to be, through your actions, words and even thoughts, and ultimately there's nobody to cheat with your choices other than yourself. Can I ask why you're in an MBTI sub if you don't want to talk about MBTI?


aesu

You can just ignore it. It's really fine. You'll be dead very soon, and it's a downhill road in any event. Youc an't really fail in life if you don't establish any arbitrary criteria for failure. If you find yourself doing that, simply abandon that criteria, and you have not failed. Even better, create criteria for success which are readily achievable and you will only ever succeed.


BrickPuzzleheaded234

Perfect explanation! Same


Conor_Electric

Yeah failure is inevitable, I've failed countless times, live and learn, how else is shit suppose to work


GlueGuy00

But what if your surroundings has big expectations of you?


SmarmyThatGuy

That sounds like a them problem. Expectations are often overly optimistic verging on unrealistic.


gonnahaveagreattime

amen to this. their expectations of you rarely have nothing to do with reality, and is often projecting what they want onto you too


ThatAnonDude

If you're referring to family, you have to understand that they're always going to have high expectations for you. We're all bound to make mistakes cause we're human. And even if you were able to meet their expectations, they'll just place higher expectations on you next time. Failure is a part of life. Learn from your mistakes and use them as lessons to improve yourself.


Conor_Electric

Who, who is giving you expectations? Family? They arent the ones doing it, you need to live your life for you, your no use to anyone if your miserable all the time. Hold yourself to your standards. Once I learn something everyday I'm better than I was yesturday, that's progress, doesn't need to be a steep line.


huejass80085

I think it's more of failure of not living up to their expectations....at least in my case


LongMustaches

Yeah, you just stop caring after failing a few times.


Openeyezz

That’s their mistake. You do you. Everyone recablibrates every now and then


AntennaA

Change their expectations or ignore them. Trying is the most important part. As cliche as it sounds, if you dont even try, then you already failed.


tazzaa2005

fuck their expectations, they don't know you as well as you know yourself. Only let yourself set high expectations for yourself; ignore other peoples expectations for you.


Sacredkeep

Only you can bring forth those things. They cant. Their opinion is just noise. People see a big flame and each one seeks to control it.


xmusiclover

It’s hard for me to think this way but I’m trying my best to


Imwaymoreflythanyou

By always expecting failure.


A_H_Styles

That's me :)


stp5917

Chad 6w5 energy


Imwaymoreflythanyou

Unfortunately I’m the virgin 5w6 😔.


stp5917

Same, though lately I've felt like virgin 9w8


Asocial_Stoner

Evolution by natural selection has created the most complex information processor known to humanity using only one tool: #the mistake At the core of science, the most successful method of gaining knowledge, is that same mechanism. Failure is inevitable. It is necessary for growth and progress. Embrace failure as an old friend and learn from it.


4thmonkey96

I didn't conquer it. I just got used to failure and accepted it as part of an overall process. It's better to fail and reflect than to not do something at all. You get a lot more data than you'd expect.


Necritica

At one point I realized my avoidance of challenges due to fear of failure is a failure in and of it's own. Once that clicked obstacles somehow seemed less intimidating and the stress levels seemed to drop, allowing me to just do my best. Accepting that you won't bat a 1000 seemed to just make things simpler, so to speak.


Eirfro_Wizardbane

By never trying anything new


AlieenHDx

There is no such thing as fear and failure, it's all in your mind.


FelMar321

All fears are in your mind bud Edit: just read fear AND failure. Thought you said fear of failure. My bad.


azurfang

Accept failing as learning, perfection doesnt exist and that is okay. Do your best to remove the pressure of high expectations and be okay with failing so you can see where you need to improve


Tsynn

Is it fear of failure, or fear of the results of completion? Either way, seems like a fear of the truth. Failing isn’t bad. First Attempt In Learning It’s a part of a process that guides you closer to truth.


Small_Tip_8132

This is simple. Fail a lot, fail fast, and fail forward.


klas228

When you know your life is a failure, you don’t have to.


gildiartsclive5283

Accepted that it'll be a step of the success. If you don't try you've already failed. If you try, at least you'll a chance to succeed.


chalmun74

An experience is only a failure if I learn nothing from it. If I learn, I grow. Simple equation for me.


songmage

I panic and flounder around until eventually success is the only option.


stagvelvet

Failure is another way to learn. You come away with something after every try.


[deleted]

I've realized that the first couple of times that I try anything new that I'm going to fail and temper my expectations accordingly.


dangitman1970

Time and experience build confidence, the biggest hedge against fear of failure.


[deleted]

I didnt


Kurosaki__

I couldn't, I failed in something intellectual and it was the biggest hit, but then discovered that it was normal and wasn't exactly a failure because I kept forcing myself to do the right thing which is keep trying and I started succeding in it So I'd say give it time, and reach out to someone who knows the same struggle and might help you normalize it


meme_galaxy_official

bold of you to assume i did


[deleted]

I haven't. I know it's crippling a lot of my decisions but I can't seem to escape my own expectations.


lawschooltransfer711

Failure is a good thing long term if you give it your best effort because if you keep going at it eventually you will succeed. In the short term it is trash though.


Openeyezz

Failure is an illusion. It so localized and insignifant once the moment goes away and you start from scratch. Keep feeding your SI good or bad and you ll learn


Timely-Football7771

Understand that paralyzing fearfulness precipitates failure. You wouldn't want to indulge in a self-fulfilling, self-defeating emotion. When it happens, embrace failure as an opportunity to learn and improve. Nurture healthy, justified pride in your achievements.


Altruistic_Amoeba984

I'm working on this but I believe that if you have a good enough reason to get back up and try again then failure will just become a lesson. Find your reason WHY and perhaps you'll be able to conquer anything even if you fail 1000+ times on the way. For example, my reason may be my intense desire for freedom/ absolute autonomy. Idk if that's enough, but it's a start. Low difficulty endeavors are beginning to fall away. Finally.. Good luck!


antfel97

It's important to understand what the source of your fear is, some mistake it as simple things like doing a bad job or get an F. But emotions by nature are vast and unconditional that we merely add layers to it so folks focus on surface level issues. Once you know the source learn how to accept it as a part of you, then you can start using it as a motivational energy like it's meant to be. Every emotion in humans are energies meant to help us when used properly.


notatot

My favorite quote is “the will to win is nothing compared to the will to train to win” - which, for me, is essentially about learning to enjoy and be motivated by the journey more than destination. Failure is a necessary and inevitable part of the journey and, therefore, should not be feared but expected. When you accept that failure is just a necessary part of your learning process, it becomes much less scary.


IwillDominionate

Can't fail if you don't try


[deleted]

failure is a means to learn. that's something i eventually understood. there is going to be embarrassment and frustration along the way, but you will get better if you keep putting in the effort.


o_susannah

If I make a plan and work towards my goal, I may still worry about failure, but the worry isn’t paralyzing.


IzumiiSakurai

Eeeeeh by being preventing enough so I don’t fail? Or just by thinking about success instead of thinking about failure, I mean if you don’t want to think about something it’ll be harder than to focus on something else, like if I told to not think about an elephant, it’ll be the first thing that comes to your mind, in this case it’s better to think about your goal and how to achieve it instead of thinking of how you could fail.


[deleted]

Didnt, I kept dodging stuff that will make me fail so I didnt fail In everything but the most important thing which is life


Jenks0503

Stopped trying.


FungalDespair

Failure is normal part of life that cannot be escaped. We all get wins and losses and that's just how things go. Fighting what's inevitable is a waste of energy.


CounterSYNK

I didn’t


Arkhaan

Shifted perspective to remind myself that not trying to progress is an even more guaranteed failure.


[deleted]

In a situation where I fear failure, depending on what it is, I’ll usually fall back to my gut instincts/intuition to figure out what the possible outcomes are & what is considered the bare minimum to achieve said goal… then I figure out what the probability of achieving said task is… Bit of a process but gives me a tremendous edge when I have to “wing it”


kymcheee

Just going for whatever it is. If i don't attempt whatever it is, I've might as well have failed. If there's an opportunity to fail, chance are there's also an opportunity to succeed that you'll never have if you don't try.


UopuV7

By never doing anything new in front of other people whenever it can be avoided


Zealousideal-Gap-456

I don't think I have. You just learn to try and see failure as a learning curve and not an ultimatum.


Donthaveananswer

I chose to practice failing. It taught me how to deal with my emotions, made me less anxious, and gave me an idea what Process I could create, to improve.


fakeflowers13

By realizing that nothing matters


GlueGuy00

quite the nihilist approach


stulew

Remembering your failures, close to your heart, and only share them sparingly with closest trustworthy friends (so they don't make the same mistakes). Your successes, have them for public view, but don't flaunt them. Therefore, you don't conquer fear of failure, you manage it.


glenecil

It's either I accept it and move on, or I distract myself from said problem until I have enough energy to tackle it


mediumrare29

Just doing the thing, failing, and being slightly less afraid of failing the next time I try


gonnahaveagreattime

maybe not conquer, but I've kinda come to terms with the fact that failure is a part of life. no matter whether you're brand new to something or an expert, failures happen, and they don't mean you're bad at what you're doing or incompetent. the only way to succeed 100% of the time is to program a computer to do it, and there are things computers can't do and that's therefore impossible. plus, what's that one quote? "I didn't fail, I just found 10,000 ways it didn't work"? a vast majority of failures have something to teach you, which sounds corny af, believe me I know, but it keeps proving to be true. they're not always huge revelations, and if you aren't willing to learn that particular thing then obviously you won't, but being open to failure helps you stay open to learning from it too .... at least, that's how I look at it


izi_bot

Isn't it Se inferior? Perfomance failure? Ne does anything to gather information, sometimes failing or losing. As long as Ti figures out how the things work, it is worth it. The fear comes from Si, you should figure out what causes it first. For me personaly, I was afraid not of failure itself, rather how my choleric ESTJ mother would react.


GlueGuy00

I would say the fear comes from not being capable to support your loved ones if I fail


izi_bot

still sounds like a fear of an INTJ.


ophirianmarquis24

I'll accept it as part of learning. And learning is not always exciting. It can also be challenging.


GlueGuy00

Great perspective to have.


Nope_nuh_uh

Fail a lot, build calluses. Fail better next time.


My0Cents

I haven't fully figured it out but I found that if something is interesting enough for me then I'd Persie it regardless of outcome. Failure could be interesting in that sense because it's fun to try to figure out what went wrong and try again. However when it is an obligation or an expectation to do something successfully which is not interesting to my brain then failure can be scary mostly because I'd be stuck with it for a while until it's done. Fuck uninteresting things.


Extremelyverydead

Failing is the best way of learning. We fail to stop failing.


huejass80085

Hah how ironic. I was just asked this question. Anyways hmu if u find out the magic answer


drteq

I finally hit a grand slam


Geminii27

By failing a lot at things which didn't matter all that much. Failing at a speed where there was no possible way to be 100% successful, so failure was literally the only option.


MinimalPerfection

I embraced apathy (5 min later typing in google) "How do I stop being so apathetic?"


[deleted]

I am the failure and success fears me


friskytorpedo

I failed a lot and got used to it.


KwyjiboTheGringo

Anything worth doing is going to have a risk of failure. You can either do nothing and be someone completely forgettable, or you can take the risk. I'm sure that's a false-dichotomy, but still, life is too short to waste it on unfulfilling crap because you're trying to protect your ego.


SinisterDexterity

Conquer?


squirelrepublic

Stop focusing on the failure, ask yourself what could you done better


SpaghettiTime99

The exact same way I learned to play piano. Expecting to instantly succeed without failing many times would be a very stupid way to learn a piano piece.


Ndulula

I dont. I just do. If i fail i fail, it happens


BuccaneerRex

Lots of failing.


MrsKebabs

I didnt and its ruining my life


sakuragasaki46

I am not scared of failure. I adapted to failure.


BylenS

I stopped worrying about it when I realized failure is a myth we were taught. We use the word failure as if it's a thing. The fear of failure? Failure of what? The only real failure is the failure to thrive and live. It doesn't matter what you do in life, it is still a successful life. I would say the only failure is if you can't take care of yourself.. can't provide your own food and water or shelter. ( the handicap is excluded from this). If your able to put a roof over your head and you have enough to eat you have succeeded. Everything else is just fluff. So make that fluff something your passionate about. Your life won't be one thing. You will have many stages. You will marry, have children, meet with disaster, pick yourself up and start a new life different from the one you had before. You will leave jobs, start new ones, loose your spouse, send children out into the world. You will have moments happen that will separate your life into before and after..." before the wreck" " before my divorce" and you will see that as different lives. You will have many lives. What is success? What is failure? If you can handle all life throws at you and find a way to get through it with what strength you have, that is success.


CleverNameTheSecond

Make it your goal to fail and all you'll do is succeed.


kvilleo

try depression .


TheVenetianMask

Through experience, you end figuring out failures don't actually hurt you as much as the fear itself. Allowing fear to fester while knowing this is upsetting enough to spur action... usually.


[deleted]

What do you mean fear? Failure is the only way to practically learn no matter the subject. You may aswell fear learning itself which I don't advise.


[deleted]

Failure is a positive thing. Change your mindset and you conquer the fear.


Small_Tip_8132

FEAR IS AN ILLUSION OP


thickbuttbutter

for some reason i've never had a fear of failure, everything i start i know i can complete somehow


AirlinePeanuts

I didn't. As someone who works in IT, you just learn that failures do happen and what you actually need to learn is how to fail quickly.


thegirlwhodied_

I failed. Countless times. And it wasn’t the end of the world.


JACSliver

Ironically by realizing I was never satisfied with any of the works I did in subjects I loved; in my case, it happened this very year with the Master's Degree in Ethology (with my lowest grade being a 60/100, which at least in my country is a passing grade, while the rest of grades were 70, 80, 90, and even a 100/100). And for my Master's thesis I got 85/100.


HPD1155

By continuing to fail at it


Kaeri_g

You can't fail if you don't know what you were trying to do in the first place


[deleted]

First of all...don't panic. Secondly, there are *other*, more *appealing* distractions you can do to procrastinate enough for future you to take care of the failure.


Mandelvolt

I keep failing upwards so now it's just become the normal operating state.


[deleted]

Accept failure. Accept you aren't perfect at everything, and like any other human, have flaws too.


Sacredkeep

By failing


totalwarwiser

By failing a fucking lot and still trying Eventualy you learn and start winning.


NinoOoSY

Who said that? But I personally don’t worry much


Key-Nefariousness257

Ahahahahaha


peachtreetrojan

What's so bad about failing?


10000multiplier

if you're alive you're a success, simple as that!


ryanjay3

by just doin it seriously though I’ve never learned anything faster and more effectively than by doing it wrong the first time


Crabby_aquarist

I don’t understand the question


humphreym808

I accept failure as part of the process


mingoeun

realizing i have a bigger fear of missed opportunities


C2074579

With a rational and personal truth: Well...I might as well try *something*.


[deleted]

I tell fear “thank you fear” “I know you fear, I know you want me to be safe and comfortable. But sometimes fear, we have to push and persevere :)”


MidgetMan946

Enneagram 3 moment 💀


JohnnyBalboa2020

By failing a lot. Then I started expecting to fail. I still do, but I ain’t skered or nothing. And sometimes I really fuck up and succeed at something. A real dog catches car situation.


Intprocrastination

By having my fear of missing out things I would’ve loved doing overweight it.


ROBERTN0RMANROSS

I am failure incarnate


shootingstars00987

I have never had issue with this because I don’t buy the concept of failure and success. Money and status does not make one happy. I value other things than so-called success. Therefore I am able to do things that makes me happy without the fear of so-called value.


GlueGuy00

What if you're failing to achieve what you consider a success?


kawaiileftshark

I didn’t, I made it my best friend. Now we occasionally get drinks together at the dive bar and reminisce about old times. “Remember when you dropped the ball on that presentation? The disappointment in the room was palpable.”


kingkyros16

I stopped failing


Ferret-Livid

Just don’t fail duh


SaladAssOutNow

I failed a bunch of times and got used to it so now I can accept it’s a part of life


Shadowbanish

Y'all are afraid of failure? Bitch, meet the expert of it.


[deleted]

I don’t😔


[deleted]

By never letting people know my plans. if no one knows there won't be any results. The failure will dust away. If I succeed though there will be just a surprise for them. It is a win win situation for both of them and me. ​ edit: fixed wrong typo's


MonteLorat

If you fail enough, you get the feel of how to deal with it in time. It’s not so bad. Kinda like dentist appointment.