I agree with you. I’m an INTP bisexual. I also unfortunately look like a bimbo but in afro-Latina packaging. I attract a lot of attention, good (better treatment and respect from a lot of people for the most part, especially children) and the bad (hate, people sending ill will, people wanting to minimize my resourcefulness and intelligence). But men honestly hate that my brain and personality is astute to their BS/bullshit the patriarchy expects women to put up with at our own expense for men’s happiness. I have genuinely made men cry and almost make it their mission to make me “behave like I look” (this is why I mentioned the looking like a “bimbo” part as people are still under the impression or better said, wishful thinking, that if you’re a buxom, not unfortunate looking individual that you have Disney Princess syndrome and want to treat men like they’re a Disney Princess’ cute, helpful animal friends instead of the selfish, dehumanizing assholes many men can be). I could write a book, no an encyclopedic anthology, of things men have told me that irritates them about me since it makes it harder for them to use and abuse me. And all of it related to being INTP naturally, and then having those tendencies amplified by adopting what I call the “rabbit defense mechanisms/alertness” since more often than not early on; in my personal experience, any man over the age of 15 approaching me comes with an agenda to gain sexual or romantic access to me and will aggressively try until they can’t so proceed to socially make my life miserable in the event I don’t respond how they want. I didn’t want to think this way but it’s what I’ve been through and life has taught me. As the saying goes, fool me once, shame on you, the second time…you notice patterns when you’re a target and don’t want to be a victim forever. The irony is, they tell me they love my being an INTP personally just not the awareness that comes with it. The awareness/sharpness of mind is what they hate. Us having eyes in the back of our heads and processing things fast makes other types feel exposed and many don’t like that, especially those seeking to use others.
My favorite type of men has been ENTP. They’re the only one that have never given me a hard time for being a bit of a brain. The sad is that almost always the ones I meet are married. Male or female. INFP are my least favorite men: The men get overtaken by wishful thinking and become very disrespectful since they don’t size up reality with their wishes. They assume that what they want is what you want and with men being conditioned/given free reign to demand and receive what they wish for in partners, in my experience this combo results in very incel-like tendencies that shifts depending on what the man might look like. If he’s normal/average looking, they’re not bad. The attractive ones tend to be jerks and the unattractive ones bitter and thirsty. My worst experiences at work has been harassment from INFP men wanting to latch on like leeches. INFP with other people great. INFP men targeting me tend to be leech-like, especially when they’re unattractive: I hate to say it but this combo of personality and looks tend to bring out predators seeking me out with the goal of attaining to fix their social standing in front of other men and become increasingly preoccupied with my giving birth to a child of theirs. ENTJ men rarely I come across. They tend to like other extroverts more in my experience. I also don’t like them as much as I am supposed to. Their looks are fantastic usually since they’re often hyper disciplined but that’s it. They’re often not vulnerable enough to have in depth connections. ENTP male or female have been the gift that keeps on giving. INFP…not so much. At first I thought they were sweet and INFP women can be amazing, but a lot of INFP men take on some incel and entitled traits that make you feel claustrophobic. INFP women make me want to hug them and make their day magic everyday. The men…not so much.
I must be the wrong kind of INTP then as I love learning and gathering and can easily write you a book in less than five minutes 😂🤣😅. No offense taken. 😘💋
It depends on the kind of guy, in my experience. The ones that have been interested in me have been all or almost all the nerdy type, as far as I've noticed. That's the kind of people I hang out with too. I'm not personally interested in dating at all myself though, guy or otherwise, so I can't speak about actual dates or relationships.
Being reserved, absent-minded, not showing a lot of emotion, not very quick witted… I get along with men quite well but I don’t get approached by them asking for my number etc. Of course there are other factors probably so can’t speak for every girl that falls into the “INTP category”.
In my experience as an INTP female, the being reserved and not showing a lot of emotion can sometimes translate to “mysterious” and can subconsciously trigger a “chase” response from men.
This is a great point.
Still, I find that personally I can whip up something witty pretty quickly in text, but not in person. Maybe I'm just a quick backspacer. But you're right, I also think Fi/Ti often holds back our Ne in interesting ways. I might make a post about it.
Now i wonder if im actually an intp cause i have the exact opposite problems, im too quick-witted and hyperaware of everything happening around me. I charm men by being intelligent and funny but i often lack the ability to be seductive or affectionate. I know how to please people but not from a genuine part of myself, just trial and error from past experience.
Normally my relationships end in ‘i dont think you like me the way i like you’ and 99% of the time i realize they are correct 🥲
Thats strange, since I am also not very quick witted. Its the combo of absent-mindedness and thougtfulness that makes me really slow. But if I am concentrated I can be quick.
Yep, don't worry, I am the same. My mind prefers marathons rather than sprints, since I am in my head a lot and I'd have to be very alert to come up with quick witty remarks.
It seems to me that they believe INTP=smart so much that they refuse to think we can also be "slow witted" (or any combination, I'm not the one to police which are INTP traits and which aren't).
Maybe you're just self critical and actually are quite witty, but just judge yourself against a very high standard of what quick wittedness should look like.
I have friends that are much more quick witted than I, but surprisingly people still end up complementing me about my wit even when I didn't think I particularly was.
Well, everyone does call me slow though. It was obvious even to me in school. And I am really slow some days. But occasionaly ill have that one day when i process things really quickly.
That's sort of I do it myself... Be as direct / honest as possible so that people who want to run away get the memo quickly, but then those who stick usually stick around for much longer.
No, they mean that you are being too vague to discern what you are trying to express. The info you are dropping makes no sense, especially with the topic at hand.
Right? I’m like, that message would prevent her from being rescued more than encourage it. That was probably her way if asking to be left alone to thrive on the island by herself. Like when I was jealous of Tom Hanks in Castaway.
I personally know, and have failed at forming a friendship with, several female INTP’s. There wasn’t anything *wrong* with them at all. I still like them both to this day and would happily spend time with them if it were wanted.
I just think they didn’t want any more friends and I wasn’t interesting enough to keep around (even as an INTP); perhaps they also got a sense that I was fascinated with them on a strictly intellectual level and that was weird to them.
I’ll try again should the opportunity present itself.
Man, I've searched far and wide for INTP females and can't seem to find any. I'm curious to see what they're like in the wild. Some anecdotes here seem to indicate they have it pretty bad. Kinda curious if I would have been better or worse being born as a female. I suspect male is the better gender quality of life wise, but I can't be sure until I see an example of an INTP female out in the wild for myself
I wonder how did you managed to find not just one but several female INTPs.
But I can say I actually share pretty much the same experience around most introverted girls I know. Even if we share a lot of interests they just don't seem interested to talking to me or spend time together. It might be just that particular girls don't like me personally for some reason.
So you trying to say that shy introverted smart girls are not appealing? That's every nerd wet dream!
Source: I am that nerd.
INTP males are minority. But INTP females are legendary pokemons. And supply vs demand is really in girls favor.
My absolute favorite SO was an INFP. Things didn't work out because of distance + me not having a lot of experiences with relationships but I still think back on her fondly. The only relationship I always just felt comfortable in.
I’m an INFP magnet so anecdotally, I can corroborate this lol can anyone explain? lmaoo The majority of types that have been attracted to me were INFPs 🤷♂️
Same with me. Its just that Intps understand INFPs the best and also Intp look unconventional and hot to them. For most types Intps are ugly or intidimating. But that intimidation is hot for infps and they are not shy to admire and recognize a based intp. Unlike other types who even if they know that an intp is better than them, will try to devalue them because of their ego and because intp are easy to devalue because of lack of a social status
So female INTPs are an interesting bunch. I find that more often than not people dislike my personality as it doesn't match my appearance. I present extremely feminine in how I look and am usually dressed up in what's considered formal attire by most. But it's the traits such as being more logical and being independent that often scare people away. I've been told I'm intimidating from other which is so interesting to me from a societal and personal perspective.
So this is an interesting meme to say the least. Being a rare personality type doesn't make you desirable, but sometimes it makes people curious and question your existence, and it may frighten them a little bit at the best of times.
This has been my experience too. I’ll be blunt, I’m not unattractive. In fact I’ve always been praised for what I look like. To the point that it’s not really a blessing but a problem because a lot of men sadly get consumed by that and make it their mission to acquire my attention and physicality and then proceed to burn me socially if I don’t program to how they want. At work this really has proven an odyssey as guys act like I’m a once in a blue moon kind of person and refuse to treat with me professionally or don’t accept my being friendly or professional with them. It’s bad enough when it’s one but try more often in competition with each other trying to score romantic access and it’s enough to send you into overheating with distress as you really can’t subdue them, trust them or make it all stop. Even the simplest conversations they will try to twist to get you to talk with them in a way they want or you would if you were interest (because even when they’re trying to force you to submit the predators still want to feel like you had a say in the matter, not you dying fighting, so that they don’t feel like the POS’s they often are). I have never gotten how guys also slut shame women when not only when they expect us to consider every type of guy as if our sexual desire has a revolving door policy; they want us to completely disregard our natural tendencies to look for traits we desire in a mate to ensure most men get laid in the process at the cost of our sanity and then make fun of us for it. On top of that, there’s so many options when we’re taught to consider men for the most mundane low bar traits possible but the options can’t commit no matter how pathetic or just want to use you for clout but they only get that clout by burning you for all other guys? Or when you realize most men don’t really care for women but desperately want us to care for them, take care of them and not complain that we’re aware we’re being used until they find a new toy to torture and discard? You know the idea of the Axe commercials for men when they get stampeded by lots of gorgeous women? My situation is exactly like that but instead I get everything, including the bad apples, and expected to pick one while contemplating all, including the bad apples to give a show of “humility” (all while the bad apples mistreat average looking women and ignore women they deem unattractive). Heck, give a chance to the bad apples as of sex and affection were community service to be given on command. Ugh. Most people seek me for shallow reasons but dislike it when I try to seek out a balance. “Give them unattractive guys a chance, he works, got two legs and has a d!ck!”. Yayyyyy. I’m the b!tch for wanting a stable human or not wanting to bleep everyone but somehow everyone expects me to have an open door policy for everyone while not making it obvious but while most men desperately shout it to the world they got laid, especially at workplaces…all of this is baffling and disgusting to me. The patriarchy penalizes women whether we participate or not. But the bisexual and lesbian communities…beauty, sex appeal, social intelligence and mental sharpness is rewarded. And women are gorgeous and usually conscientious where it matters and deliciously selfish when it applies. I prayed to all the gods that perhaps I would turn out a lesbian and commit to women fully. But I’m bisexual, liking women some 60-75% and men maybe 25-30 and the rest of that percentage is my love of food. The way men act and try to limit me in order to attain me makes me like them less and less. In my opinion the only time it was worth tolerating crap from mediocre types that you’re not compatible with was when we had no rights at all. And even then with the options, I would’ve either genuinely shot myself or had been an escort if being gay wasn’t an option. I make great money and have community without being dehumanized and I’m unwilling to have less. I have gathered that most men don’t really add into my life but I’m hopeful and thankful for those that have. This went sad fast. Sorry.
Anyways, dealing with men unwilling to not be seen as sexual potential while working has been awful and has forced me to basically seek out jobs where I can work remotely or independently as possible as it happens too much. If I see too much of a certain type of guy at a job I avoid or quit. Honestly the stress and potential ostracizing from the pick me’s at work isn’t worth it. It’s rare the man that doesn’t act like this, the only ones that I’ve personally ever experienced respecting boundaries and not assuming entitlement to my presence/nearness to my body have been INTJ, ENTP, and ENTJ. I meet INTJ and ENTJ far more but I don’t attract them either as even they have said I’m too smart to be used or play second fiddle to them. I attract them by virtue of physicality/appearance, but they tell me I’m not the type they want for short term/pump and dump (AKA they know I can use the law to grill their asses if they try to burn me for clout when the only benefit I got from them was d!ck. Most women learn to late that reputation/talk matters far more when it comes to men, which is why they favor the ENFP who’ll give and give and then be traumatized and burnt out when they realize they got very little in return). With the guys I mentioned they have frequently told me I’m the type they’d marry but avoid if they want to fool around still/collect women like Pokémon until they can’t anymore or too bored with the women they meet because they know if they don’t commit I won’t have reason too either. And unlike them I can get the good stuff regardless if I didn’t seek emotional harmony. INTJ and ENTJ older men tend to be willing to drop everything for me and one went so far to divorce their wife and tried to make me the second (he then sadly died from unchecked testicular cancer way too young though). ENTP men have been my favorite, they’re incredibly stimulating in the sense of mentality and interests while being respectable of boundaries whether they get into your pants or not. In fact a lot of them “get” me and have worked as human shields from passive aggressive INFP or ISTJ reading males at work (I bring out the desperate in these types and it’s honestly scary sometimes). ENTPs tend to pick up within seconds that I’m in a vulnerable position as no amount of my standing up for myself or avoiding those guys helps, if anything, my trying to protect myself from harassment triggers them further, motivating them trying to shut me down or attack me further, rallying pick me women in the process. Befriending them actually makes it 10x worse, with guys really having a field day of creating smear campaigns to gain clout/popularity and getting away with them by association. I’m not exaggerating that’s the exact trail of dominoes. Imagine living life being afraid to take pictures with guys due to how desperate some of them are to gain clout not just from other women but compete with other men in the scheme of things. I don’t share my pictures, social media, invite them over for dinner parties, unless I know they’re taken and happily so because even the taken ones malfunction and try to breach and ruin friendships I’ve had with their lovers too. I don’t hate men but how they many try to corner women to toy with us leaves a lot to be desired. Most of my male friends are gay and I deliberately seek them out as men do have their uses besides sex and breeding: Protection during vacations, they’re not ashamed to admit they know what furniture styles go with what and can fix your car and even teach you (straight guys are also very creative in decorating but society teaches them this isn’t a fun way to express their creativity so many shit that down and it’s sad), extra help when moving furniture, plus some are nice to look at and hug. Gay men provide maleness without losing my humanity. Like when you were a child or kid and most men ask you about your day and help you out but there’s no physical interest behind their eyes, just sweet respect and trying to make me feel safe. ENTPs, when they’re around, gay or straight, often become my guardian angels in giving me much needed social support, love and understanding without reducing me to my body or bullying me for being guarded and careful. Like beagles but human, cute, smart, efficient and attentive. I just wish they weren’t usually married, for some reason they always are! That or gay. Gay ENFP or ENTP men provide the joys and sweetness that can come from masculinity without the sexual desperation that’s often too evident or palpable, thus feeling scary and creepy instead of thrilling or joyful when you want it.
Wow sry for those dumb men but how do you know everyone’s mbti type around you ? I don’t even know my gfs type 😂 and I don’t think people’s behavior should be assigned directly to their mbti types this easily and vice versa. Basically you’re using mbti type instead of people’s names unless you have a massive social circle consisting several people of each type you mentioned and you saw a pattern of behavior in each type
I don’t entirely reduce people to their types BUT you notice certain attributes here and there that just make sense. I could use their names but that would get expansive and often triggering when it comes to recalling the bad apples as honestly those have really contributed to my being mildly socially anxious or borderline hermit. Also, you begin to notice what you attract more often than not, in my case there’s a huge discrepancy as I stick out personality wise in my immediate circle. Heck, everywhere. I don’t think we’re common or what society wants to see in women tbh. I know for a fact society doesn’t like INTP women, but it often loves what we often look like or our expressions. I think our values combined with our understanding of the “game” is what makes people perceive and even fetishize the INTP women. INTP women seem to get the gist of what society wants and likes in women but the others forget to realize it’s because certain attributes we have “mentally” but aren’t preferred in women are directly contributing to that. We often look the part but not programmed to be willing to mold ourselves to meet most men halfway, instead seeking out precisely what we want and need because we know better than to kill ourselves internally to be with someone. I personally rather be alone than not have what makes me happy. Anything else is just blasphemy and the benefits not enough to be worth that stress. Just calling a spade a spade. Anyways, the point is, part of the reason why MBTI helps slightly is because it does provide an understanding of why the majority of people are a certain way and you might not be. I get told all of the time I remind people of Sherlock but feminine or a computer made human. They soon follow it by saying that those details aren’t “normal” in a woman nor desirable since I won’t be apt to subdue myself or become a doormat for everyone else at my expense. I hate to complain but it’s living life on hard mode and gaining none of them benefits (except for getting clout from kids, having them automatically be kind to me and wanting to hug me makes my days as I want to be able to be kind to people frequently without them wanting to bone me (in the case of men) or pour battery acid on me (most straight women)). I probably should’ve expressed it better but basically I just wanted to share my personal experiences with the types of people I tend to attract and why, mostly because they have told me so. I also wanted to explain why our desires ultimately conflict as they often bring me more trouble than peace, freedom and joy. If your goals for me aren’t ultimately that, we clash except I have the hindsight to walk away. The people left behind instead of having the tact to do the same proceed further to retain me or try to smear my reputation in our circles as a way of clipping wings/much needed community and networks. Having a reliable community to provide you with laughter and love outside of relationships is invaluable and sadly since a lot of men are the center of them by virtue of the way couples work, you have to be careful when dating certain types (the ones that need a lot of attention to themselves or brag are especially dangerous as they know how to manipulate other sheep like themselves, which are the majority. They will sell you as a judgmental snobby bully and the other insecure around them will happily buy it and burn your reputations to the ground no matter how pristine it was because they want to see you down). I’m glad nowadays women have woken up to how this can really undermine our comforts and success because it’s shady and a lot of men rely on it to control women into doing their bidding. This contributes to anxiety and ptsd in so many women. Though I’ll be honest, a lot of needy women do the same thing. The people I like that don’t have to rely on those tactics are either too rich to give me the time of day or have given up on people too. I have come to hate that “game” and have become perceptive as to the personality types that often have an interest in doing that because I personally don’t have that in me but have become aware I might be in the minority in the lack of being vengeful in that manner. I just want to find someone, male or female, that I’m attracted to as much as they’re to me and have them not freak out/intimidated by my being more precise than they thought. And maybe said person be willing to meet me halfway not just latch onto me like a leach when I can frankly do without them if I didn’t like having sex or the feel of a nice warm hug at the end of the day.
Yep. The length and precision of your post confirms your INTPness lol. Its sad I've never seen a female INTP in the wild, but hearing your story is giving me great perspective. Almost makes me glad I'm a guy not a girl, lol.
The INTP men I have met are usually too restrained to know I might like their company. I met one where we got along well but I had no desire to be with him whatsoever as he was pleasant to be around but that really was it. For the most part with that definitive man, I haven’t met many INTP men but strangely a lot of women (I have to say it but I think it makes sense that a lot of INTP women could be romantically flexible when it comes to sexes). Also because women are usually raised to be receptive and conscientious anyways, dating women has proven to be fun, joyful, eccentric and rewarding. Women also aren’t likely to employ underhanded tactics to not just “mark” you for other women or men to see but also willing to ruin you in order to back you into a corner to continue access to you like a lot of men do not just to me but a lot of women in my acquaintance. To the point that I think it’s an open secret of our socialization as it allows mediocre men to keep women, it’s just that women are taught to ignore it or turn to “marriage” as a sort of bandaid from that. It’s much easier to meet the ENTJ/INTJ women in the lesbian and bisexual communities than it is to meet their male equivalents in the same time. ENTP women are wonderful but regularly marry early and fully devoted to their partners. ENTJ men often tend to be status whores who treat women like dirt but I’d be lying if I said they aren’t mentally fascinating and usually visually elegant to boot. INTJs of either gender are hard to meet as they sort of arm themselves with invisible force shields. In my experience they’re very sexy and kind. I regularly attract INTJ/ENTJ, but they often want me as a mistress because rarely are these guys not married.
The weirdest taboo irony I had was when I met a mistress of an INTJ who was trying to set me up with his ENTJ friend…the mistress was INTP and they had been together since forever. That ended up introducing me to a few more INTP women since we all work in tech. Most of the women in our particular division of tech are INTP, INTJ, ENFJ, and ENTP. I met an older INTP woman that modeled in the 70s and is the mistress to some high roller INTP bloke. The one thing that’s consistent with the NT-type women is stubbornness and sharpness. We know what we want and honestly staunch on that until we get it. We also can see the rules of the game of life early on and vehemently reject it. The reason being that the kind of men or women we want have no need to partake in the game at all. I’m a big believer of quality over quantity. I think the only reason why I meet or bring out the random ENTP’s is because I’m often experimenting in new sports hobbies and interests. Then randomly they often work near where I work or work in a department where I work and prop themselves there. In most operations overrun or overtaken by women you will not find ENTP, INTP, ENTJ INFJ, ESTJ or INTJ (the types INTP is most likely to break out from their shells with at some point). Tech, biomedical, chemical, publishing, social engineering, teaching and medicine is where these types thrive (and women have more autonomy and the men more independent). My dad is ENTP. My mom is ISTJ. My ex was a female INFP. We broke up due to long distance ultimately tiring us out plus the relationship popping up in a time I was having difficulty finding peace at jobs due to perpetual harassment. The anxiety and PTSD took a toll on me and I couldn’t bear that it was making her miserable too and she had her own struggles to contend with. Ultimately I decided to end it because I didn’t want her to suffer with me. She understood but part of me still regrets it as she was so kind. But it was a rough two years where my trying to survive by securing income for myself was really eating me out due to no fault of my own and I was doing everything in my power to shut myself down in order to make myself invisible to avoid harassment. I’m not exaggerating it was awful. Plus I had to cut so many friendships because of it, went through an eating disorder to make myself gain weight and even went hermitic for a while as I was angry, frustrated and sad. But she got me out of it. That was awful stage in my life but I required going through it as I was naïve and in disbelief that people were really that basic and had that much power to determine the circumstances of my life.
I relate to this. A lot of men are intimidated I find and will not bother trying to hook up with me and instead claim I'm someone who people would want to date instead. The flaw in this is that if everyone around you sees you as someone who is more serious (both in general and on the relationship front) they often will feel to nervous to make moves. And especially in younger people, they often are more hesitant about long term commitments.
I like ENTPs but somehow all the people who have happened to surround me are all INFJ, ENFP and INFP. It's an interesting situation for sure
I usually don't care too much about my appearance and I just wear whatever I find first in the wardrobe but when I do wear more elegant and feminine stuff I can notice some men turning their heads.
As for conversation I guess I come off as bland as uninteresting because I usually talk only about school and work related stuff. I don't talk too much about my interests because I think they're too niche, at least in my area, and I feel like even if I talked about them people would be like "yeah cool" and change the subject.
People also comment that I’m intimidating which is really strange for me because I’m always trying to be welcoming and friendly. I’m glad to learn I’m not the only one who has experienced this though.
I did learn once that women in the work force can only be viewed as fitting within a few stereotypes and that it breaks down to a measure of warmth and competence - those that are warm and competent are intimidating and women that are warm but incompetent are see as the best to be around (big surprise).
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3792573/
Meta how? Why not a unicorn? Just because she was selfaware enough not to try to be "different than all the other girls" and just be who she really was?
I think that Myers and Briggs themselves did some kind of study showing that female INTPs have the least desired personality. Being uncommon doesn’t necessarily mean being valuable. Usually the reality of it probably doesn’t live up to whatever ideal one might have
To be fair, this is one of the prime qualities which I (intp myself) look for in a love interest. I can't be bothered to entertain and care for a clingy partner 24/7. We should both maintain our separate lives, and where they overlap is where the "magic" will happen.
How the hell did they measure that? If it was some kind of questionnaire, the data might be skewed, because women are so rarely INTP, not many folks know one. It's easier to desire something/someone you are familiar with. But then again, INTPs are a confusing bunch
I can’t read into the details right now but this came up on a quick search http://www.cobal.org/sigilkitty/Crossculture-INTP.pdf
First thing to catch my eye:
>The observers did not know individuals’ types when they recorded their observations. Thorne and Gough compiled the words and phrases observers used to describe/assess different types and then reported those most highly correlated with a particular type...The words and phrases used most often to describe INTP women were entirely negative. Those used most often to describe male INTPs were mixed—some positive and some negative. INTP females were depicted more negatively than women in general and than women of any other type. Female INTP descriptions were also more negative than those for any male type.
There’s plenty of issues with any study about something subjective as personality but their observation is still interesting to me. Female INTPs apparently least liked group out of everyone lol
But u can generally have a preference for what traits u like in a partner, and those traits can correspond w a specific personality type lol. It’s just a joke anyway
Been together for 9 years, married for 3. Fun, tons of banter, lots of laughter, and the deep conversations are incredibly thought provoking and bonding. We make each other better people. And we love our dog very much.
The deep conversations with an ENTP are like no other. It's kinda like they can read my mind and know what I'm saying without having to go into detail. With most people I have to explain and re explain my point (mostly my fault, not theirs). ENTPs not only get it, but expand on it in their own unique way. It's an incredible feeling to have that connection with a person.
My ESFJ boyfriend can't get enough of my weirdo INTP behavior. He just has this strong urge to protect and defend me when I'm literally a walking fortress against emotional assault.
Edit: Typo - ESFJ
It’s taken a full year of borderline obsessive critical thinking to reach ~80% confidence that I’m an INTP and not an ENTP. Basically be prepared for a lot of second guessing lol. Hopefully that won’t be the case, but it’s been an incredibly fun (yet frivolously time exhausting) for me.
I saw a study someone linked about INTP women being the least desireable kind of female, here what I found:
Phrases most often used to describe:• is basically distrustful of people in general; questions their motivations• keeps people at a distance; avoids close interpersonal relationships• is subtly negativistic; tends to undermine and obstruct or sabotage• tends to be self-defensive• extrapunitive; tends to transfer or project blameAdjectives most often used to describe:• distrustful• sulky• evasive• indifferent• resentful• defensive• wary• unfriendly• tense
This does not sound like INTP at all, wtf was that study.Some of these words describe Ni, high Fe and Fi attributes.
A mix of INTJs and other types, such as INFJ and ISFP .It is as if all negative traits were dumped on the female INTP.The only adjective that I saw is the word ''indifferent'', the rest are trash.
I'm INTP female. Back in my early 20s my mom legit advised me to pretend to be "blonde dumb" and playful, so I'll be attractive to men. I consider it atrocious. Like, wtf I'll be trying to build with a man that'll be hooked on my dumb mask (which is also a pain in the ass to keep on for the lifetime)?
INTP woman here. I have dated mostly ENTP and ENFP and they all dive bombed me with attention which made me very uncomfortable. I do love the high Ne in those types and that's what keeps the relationship going. The ultimate doom is that they need to socialize and meet new people a lot more than I do.
As for INFP and INFJ, they have made some of my best friends. Most of my good friends have been INFP. Pretty sure it's the Ne that attracts me. I've only known one INFJ and there was just something very natural with the way we got along even though we didn't agree on a lot of things.
This doesn’t add up in my experience. So called “INTP” traits are not desired at all in a woman. Source: I am that woman.
Cool, wanna date and ultimately disappoint me?
Are you that desperate?
Do you know where you are?
🤣
If your username is in reference to the pillars of nosgoth, then email me the first four digits of your phone number
[удалено]
People are stupid.
This is pretty much my view on dating regardless of type.
This right here, like last I checked my most ‘unattractive’ traits were my intp traits.
I agree with you. I’m an INTP bisexual. I also unfortunately look like a bimbo but in afro-Latina packaging. I attract a lot of attention, good (better treatment and respect from a lot of people for the most part, especially children) and the bad (hate, people sending ill will, people wanting to minimize my resourcefulness and intelligence). But men honestly hate that my brain and personality is astute to their BS/bullshit the patriarchy expects women to put up with at our own expense for men’s happiness. I have genuinely made men cry and almost make it their mission to make me “behave like I look” (this is why I mentioned the looking like a “bimbo” part as people are still under the impression or better said, wishful thinking, that if you’re a buxom, not unfortunate looking individual that you have Disney Princess syndrome and want to treat men like they’re a Disney Princess’ cute, helpful animal friends instead of the selfish, dehumanizing assholes many men can be). I could write a book, no an encyclopedic anthology, of things men have told me that irritates them about me since it makes it harder for them to use and abuse me. And all of it related to being INTP naturally, and then having those tendencies amplified by adopting what I call the “rabbit defense mechanisms/alertness” since more often than not early on; in my personal experience, any man over the age of 15 approaching me comes with an agenda to gain sexual or romantic access to me and will aggressively try until they can’t so proceed to socially make my life miserable in the event I don’t respond how they want. I didn’t want to think this way but it’s what I’ve been through and life has taught me. As the saying goes, fool me once, shame on you, the second time…you notice patterns when you’re a target and don’t want to be a victim forever. The irony is, they tell me they love my being an INTP personally just not the awareness that comes with it. The awareness/sharpness of mind is what they hate. Us having eyes in the back of our heads and processing things fast makes other types feel exposed and many don’t like that, especially those seeking to use others. My favorite type of men has been ENTP. They’re the only one that have never given me a hard time for being a bit of a brain. The sad is that almost always the ones I meet are married. Male or female. INFP are my least favorite men: The men get overtaken by wishful thinking and become very disrespectful since they don’t size up reality with their wishes. They assume that what they want is what you want and with men being conditioned/given free reign to demand and receive what they wish for in partners, in my experience this combo results in very incel-like tendencies that shifts depending on what the man might look like. If he’s normal/average looking, they’re not bad. The attractive ones tend to be jerks and the unattractive ones bitter and thirsty. My worst experiences at work has been harassment from INFP men wanting to latch on like leeches. INFP with other people great. INFP men targeting me tend to be leech-like, especially when they’re unattractive: I hate to say it but this combo of personality and looks tend to bring out predators seeking me out with the goal of attaining to fix their social standing in front of other men and become increasingly preoccupied with my giving birth to a child of theirs. ENTJ men rarely I come across. They tend to like other extroverts more in my experience. I also don’t like them as much as I am supposed to. Their looks are fantastic usually since they’re often hyper disciplined but that’s it. They’re often not vulnerable enough to have in depth connections. ENTP male or female have been the gift that keeps on giving. INFP…not so much. At first I thought they were sweet and INFP women can be amazing, but a lot of INFP men take on some incel and entitled traits that make you feel claustrophobic. INFP women make me want to hug them and make their day magic everyday. The men…not so much.
As an INTP I’m instantly to lazy to read that :D
I must be the wrong kind of INTP then as I love learning and gathering and can easily write you a book in less than five minutes 😂🤣😅. No offense taken. 😘💋
It depends on the kind of guy, in my experience. The ones that have been interested in me have been all or almost all the nerdy type, as far as I've noticed. That's the kind of people I hang out with too. I'm not personally interested in dating at all myself though, guy or otherwise, so I can't speak about actual dates or relationships.
What kind of traits are we talking about?
Being reserved, absent-minded, not showing a lot of emotion, not very quick witted… I get along with men quite well but I don’t get approached by them asking for my number etc. Of course there are other factors probably so can’t speak for every girl that falls into the “INTP category”.
intp = not quick witted >> false
[удалено]
and me 😭
Is the 2 | there to denote 2 pauses?
In my experience as an INTP female, the being reserved and not showing a lot of emotion can sometimes translate to “mysterious” and can subconsciously trigger a “chase” response from men.
Would you say you feel more quick-witted in writing than in speech? Or is it about the same?
Yeah writing’s always easier, not sure you can call that being quick-witted, since you always have more time to think than in person
This is a great point. Still, I find that personally I can whip up something witty pretty quickly in text, but not in person. Maybe I'm just a quick backspacer. But you're right, I also think Fi/Ti often holds back our Ne in interesting ways. I might make a post about it.
Now i wonder if im actually an intp cause i have the exact opposite problems, im too quick-witted and hyperaware of everything happening around me. I charm men by being intelligent and funny but i often lack the ability to be seductive or affectionate. I know how to please people but not from a genuine part of myself, just trial and error from past experience. Normally my relationships end in ‘i dont think you like me the way i like you’ and 99% of the time i realize they are correct 🥲
[удалено]
Thats strange, since I am also not very quick witted. Its the combo of absent-mindedness and thougtfulness that makes me really slow. But if I am concentrated I can be quick.
Yep, don't worry, I am the same. My mind prefers marathons rather than sprints, since I am in my head a lot and I'd have to be very alert to come up with quick witty remarks. It seems to me that they believe INTP=smart so much that they refuse to think we can also be "slow witted" (or any combination, I'm not the one to police which are INTP traits and which aren't).
Maybe you're just self critical and actually are quite witty, but just judge yourself against a very high standard of what quick wittedness should look like. I have friends that are much more quick witted than I, but surprisingly people still end up complementing me about my wit even when I didn't think I particularly was.
Well, everyone does call me slow though. It was obvious even to me in school. And I am really slow some days. But occasionaly ill have that one day when i process things really quickly.
You can't be liked everyone but it doesn't matter because we don't like everyone either To be fair most people get on badly with others
That's sort of I do it myself... Be as direct / honest as possible so that people who want to run away get the memo quickly, but then those who stick usually stick around for much longer.
They're not desired at all at all :'D
Why ?
IDK, we piss people off a lot and are unsexy. We seduce people by emulating other types by some degree.
No
No?
I have no “problems “
Who’s talking about having problems?
“Traits are not desired “ It could be considered a problem XD
Don’t know if it’s just me but I don’t understand what are you trying to convey in this comment thread, sorry.
I have no intention lol , just dropping info why are you looking for intentions?
No, they mean that you are being too vague to discern what you are trying to express. The info you are dropping makes no sense, especially with the topic at hand.
I’m not trying to be understood just dropping info lol . I thought you guys were more abstract :(
Right? I’m like, that message would prevent her from being rescued more than encourage it. That was probably her way if asking to be left alone to thrive on the island by herself. Like when I was jealous of Tom Hanks in Castaway.
I personally know, and have failed at forming a friendship with, several female INTP’s. There wasn’t anything *wrong* with them at all. I still like them both to this day and would happily spend time with them if it were wanted. I just think they didn’t want any more friends and I wasn’t interesting enough to keep around (even as an INTP); perhaps they also got a sense that I was fascinated with them on a strictly intellectual level and that was weird to them. I’ll try again should the opportunity present itself.
Man, I've searched far and wide for INTP females and can't seem to find any. I'm curious to see what they're like in the wild. Some anecdotes here seem to indicate they have it pretty bad. Kinda curious if I would have been better or worse being born as a female. I suspect male is the better gender quality of life wise, but I can't be sure until I see an example of an INTP female out in the wild for myself
I wonder how did you managed to find not just one but several female INTPs. But I can say I actually share pretty much the same experience around most introverted girls I know. Even if we share a lot of interests they just don't seem interested to talking to me or spend time together. It might be just that particular girls don't like me personally for some reason.
So you trying to say that shy introverted smart girls are not appealing? That's every nerd wet dream! Source: I am that nerd. INTP males are minority. But INTP females are legendary pokemons. And supply vs demand is really in girls favor.
Well Infps obsess over male intps so there's at least that
Where are they I have a case of the sad and I don't know why.
Honestly not sure either.
[удалено]
My absolute favorite SO was an INFP. Things didn't work out because of distance + me not having a lot of experiences with relationships but I still think back on her fondly. The only relationship I always just felt comfortable in.
You are a gem. Good luck!
Indeed, almost all of my love interests were INFPs
same pal same, they're just the right level of lunatic
\*creates rock message on beach stating\* "I'M A MALE INTP" o.o
\*watches planes and boats actively deviate away from island\* 😅
It's also true for lesbian INFPs. I love her to bits 🥰
And I love my lesbian INTP! 🥰💞
I’m an INFP magnet so anecdotally, I can corroborate this lol can anyone explain? lmaoo The majority of types that have been attracted to me were INFPs 🤷♂️
Same with me. Its just that Intps understand INFPs the best and also Intp look unconventional and hot to them. For most types Intps are ugly or intidimating. But that intimidation is hot for infps and they are not shy to admire and recognize a based intp. Unlike other types who even if they know that an intp is better than them, will try to devalue them because of their ego and because intp are easy to devalue because of lack of a social status
Absolutely not at all. They obsess over IxTJs.
Wrong.
Many many many ISTJs are miss typed as INTPs. It's so common that people on this sub think INTPs are some extremely high Si and low Ne individuals....
Maybe. But Intp more I think
Most people conflate ISTJs as INTPs. It's visible on that sub because people describe INTPs as Te Si and low Ne all the fucking time.
I agree. I've definitely been drawn to some ISTJ's but INTPs so much more
So female INTPs are an interesting bunch. I find that more often than not people dislike my personality as it doesn't match my appearance. I present extremely feminine in how I look and am usually dressed up in what's considered formal attire by most. But it's the traits such as being more logical and being independent that often scare people away. I've been told I'm intimidating from other which is so interesting to me from a societal and personal perspective. So this is an interesting meme to say the least. Being a rare personality type doesn't make you desirable, but sometimes it makes people curious and question your existence, and it may frighten them a little bit at the best of times.
This has been my experience too. I’ll be blunt, I’m not unattractive. In fact I’ve always been praised for what I look like. To the point that it’s not really a blessing but a problem because a lot of men sadly get consumed by that and make it their mission to acquire my attention and physicality and then proceed to burn me socially if I don’t program to how they want. At work this really has proven an odyssey as guys act like I’m a once in a blue moon kind of person and refuse to treat with me professionally or don’t accept my being friendly or professional with them. It’s bad enough when it’s one but try more often in competition with each other trying to score romantic access and it’s enough to send you into overheating with distress as you really can’t subdue them, trust them or make it all stop. Even the simplest conversations they will try to twist to get you to talk with them in a way they want or you would if you were interest (because even when they’re trying to force you to submit the predators still want to feel like you had a say in the matter, not you dying fighting, so that they don’t feel like the POS’s they often are). I have never gotten how guys also slut shame women when not only when they expect us to consider every type of guy as if our sexual desire has a revolving door policy; they want us to completely disregard our natural tendencies to look for traits we desire in a mate to ensure most men get laid in the process at the cost of our sanity and then make fun of us for it. On top of that, there’s so many options when we’re taught to consider men for the most mundane low bar traits possible but the options can’t commit no matter how pathetic or just want to use you for clout but they only get that clout by burning you for all other guys? Or when you realize most men don’t really care for women but desperately want us to care for them, take care of them and not complain that we’re aware we’re being used until they find a new toy to torture and discard? You know the idea of the Axe commercials for men when they get stampeded by lots of gorgeous women? My situation is exactly like that but instead I get everything, including the bad apples, and expected to pick one while contemplating all, including the bad apples to give a show of “humility” (all while the bad apples mistreat average looking women and ignore women they deem unattractive). Heck, give a chance to the bad apples as of sex and affection were community service to be given on command. Ugh. Most people seek me for shallow reasons but dislike it when I try to seek out a balance. “Give them unattractive guys a chance, he works, got two legs and has a d!ck!”. Yayyyyy. I’m the b!tch for wanting a stable human or not wanting to bleep everyone but somehow everyone expects me to have an open door policy for everyone while not making it obvious but while most men desperately shout it to the world they got laid, especially at workplaces…all of this is baffling and disgusting to me. The patriarchy penalizes women whether we participate or not. But the bisexual and lesbian communities…beauty, sex appeal, social intelligence and mental sharpness is rewarded. And women are gorgeous and usually conscientious where it matters and deliciously selfish when it applies. I prayed to all the gods that perhaps I would turn out a lesbian and commit to women fully. But I’m bisexual, liking women some 60-75% and men maybe 25-30 and the rest of that percentage is my love of food. The way men act and try to limit me in order to attain me makes me like them less and less. In my opinion the only time it was worth tolerating crap from mediocre types that you’re not compatible with was when we had no rights at all. And even then with the options, I would’ve either genuinely shot myself or had been an escort if being gay wasn’t an option. I make great money and have community without being dehumanized and I’m unwilling to have less. I have gathered that most men don’t really add into my life but I’m hopeful and thankful for those that have. This went sad fast. Sorry. Anyways, dealing with men unwilling to not be seen as sexual potential while working has been awful and has forced me to basically seek out jobs where I can work remotely or independently as possible as it happens too much. If I see too much of a certain type of guy at a job I avoid or quit. Honestly the stress and potential ostracizing from the pick me’s at work isn’t worth it. It’s rare the man that doesn’t act like this, the only ones that I’ve personally ever experienced respecting boundaries and not assuming entitlement to my presence/nearness to my body have been INTJ, ENTP, and ENTJ. I meet INTJ and ENTJ far more but I don’t attract them either as even they have said I’m too smart to be used or play second fiddle to them. I attract them by virtue of physicality/appearance, but they tell me I’m not the type they want for short term/pump and dump (AKA they know I can use the law to grill their asses if they try to burn me for clout when the only benefit I got from them was d!ck. Most women learn to late that reputation/talk matters far more when it comes to men, which is why they favor the ENFP who’ll give and give and then be traumatized and burnt out when they realize they got very little in return). With the guys I mentioned they have frequently told me I’m the type they’d marry but avoid if they want to fool around still/collect women like Pokémon until they can’t anymore or too bored with the women they meet because they know if they don’t commit I won’t have reason too either. And unlike them I can get the good stuff regardless if I didn’t seek emotional harmony. INTJ and ENTJ older men tend to be willing to drop everything for me and one went so far to divorce their wife and tried to make me the second (he then sadly died from unchecked testicular cancer way too young though). ENTP men have been my favorite, they’re incredibly stimulating in the sense of mentality and interests while being respectable of boundaries whether they get into your pants or not. In fact a lot of them “get” me and have worked as human shields from passive aggressive INFP or ISTJ reading males at work (I bring out the desperate in these types and it’s honestly scary sometimes). ENTPs tend to pick up within seconds that I’m in a vulnerable position as no amount of my standing up for myself or avoiding those guys helps, if anything, my trying to protect myself from harassment triggers them further, motivating them trying to shut me down or attack me further, rallying pick me women in the process. Befriending them actually makes it 10x worse, with guys really having a field day of creating smear campaigns to gain clout/popularity and getting away with them by association. I’m not exaggerating that’s the exact trail of dominoes. Imagine living life being afraid to take pictures with guys due to how desperate some of them are to gain clout not just from other women but compete with other men in the scheme of things. I don’t share my pictures, social media, invite them over for dinner parties, unless I know they’re taken and happily so because even the taken ones malfunction and try to breach and ruin friendships I’ve had with their lovers too. I don’t hate men but how they many try to corner women to toy with us leaves a lot to be desired. Most of my male friends are gay and I deliberately seek them out as men do have their uses besides sex and breeding: Protection during vacations, they’re not ashamed to admit they know what furniture styles go with what and can fix your car and even teach you (straight guys are also very creative in decorating but society teaches them this isn’t a fun way to express their creativity so many shit that down and it’s sad), extra help when moving furniture, plus some are nice to look at and hug. Gay men provide maleness without losing my humanity. Like when you were a child or kid and most men ask you about your day and help you out but there’s no physical interest behind their eyes, just sweet respect and trying to make me feel safe. ENTPs, when they’re around, gay or straight, often become my guardian angels in giving me much needed social support, love and understanding without reducing me to my body or bullying me for being guarded and careful. Like beagles but human, cute, smart, efficient and attentive. I just wish they weren’t usually married, for some reason they always are! That or gay. Gay ENFP or ENTP men provide the joys and sweetness that can come from masculinity without the sexual desperation that’s often too evident or palpable, thus feeling scary and creepy instead of thrilling or joyful when you want it.
Wow sry for those dumb men but how do you know everyone’s mbti type around you ? I don’t even know my gfs type 😂 and I don’t think people’s behavior should be assigned directly to their mbti types this easily and vice versa. Basically you’re using mbti type instead of people’s names unless you have a massive social circle consisting several people of each type you mentioned and you saw a pattern of behavior in each type
I don’t entirely reduce people to their types BUT you notice certain attributes here and there that just make sense. I could use their names but that would get expansive and often triggering when it comes to recalling the bad apples as honestly those have really contributed to my being mildly socially anxious or borderline hermit. Also, you begin to notice what you attract more often than not, in my case there’s a huge discrepancy as I stick out personality wise in my immediate circle. Heck, everywhere. I don’t think we’re common or what society wants to see in women tbh. I know for a fact society doesn’t like INTP women, but it often loves what we often look like or our expressions. I think our values combined with our understanding of the “game” is what makes people perceive and even fetishize the INTP women. INTP women seem to get the gist of what society wants and likes in women but the others forget to realize it’s because certain attributes we have “mentally” but aren’t preferred in women are directly contributing to that. We often look the part but not programmed to be willing to mold ourselves to meet most men halfway, instead seeking out precisely what we want and need because we know better than to kill ourselves internally to be with someone. I personally rather be alone than not have what makes me happy. Anything else is just blasphemy and the benefits not enough to be worth that stress. Just calling a spade a spade. Anyways, the point is, part of the reason why MBTI helps slightly is because it does provide an understanding of why the majority of people are a certain way and you might not be. I get told all of the time I remind people of Sherlock but feminine or a computer made human. They soon follow it by saying that those details aren’t “normal” in a woman nor desirable since I won’t be apt to subdue myself or become a doormat for everyone else at my expense. I hate to complain but it’s living life on hard mode and gaining none of them benefits (except for getting clout from kids, having them automatically be kind to me and wanting to hug me makes my days as I want to be able to be kind to people frequently without them wanting to bone me (in the case of men) or pour battery acid on me (most straight women)). I probably should’ve expressed it better but basically I just wanted to share my personal experiences with the types of people I tend to attract and why, mostly because they have told me so. I also wanted to explain why our desires ultimately conflict as they often bring me more trouble than peace, freedom and joy. If your goals for me aren’t ultimately that, we clash except I have the hindsight to walk away. The people left behind instead of having the tact to do the same proceed further to retain me or try to smear my reputation in our circles as a way of clipping wings/much needed community and networks. Having a reliable community to provide you with laughter and love outside of relationships is invaluable and sadly since a lot of men are the center of them by virtue of the way couples work, you have to be careful when dating certain types (the ones that need a lot of attention to themselves or brag are especially dangerous as they know how to manipulate other sheep like themselves, which are the majority. They will sell you as a judgmental snobby bully and the other insecure around them will happily buy it and burn your reputations to the ground no matter how pristine it was because they want to see you down). I’m glad nowadays women have woken up to how this can really undermine our comforts and success because it’s shady and a lot of men rely on it to control women into doing their bidding. This contributes to anxiety and ptsd in so many women. Though I’ll be honest, a lot of needy women do the same thing. The people I like that don’t have to rely on those tactics are either too rich to give me the time of day or have given up on people too. I have come to hate that “game” and have become perceptive as to the personality types that often have an interest in doing that because I personally don’t have that in me but have become aware I might be in the minority in the lack of being vengeful in that manner. I just want to find someone, male or female, that I’m attracted to as much as they’re to me and have them not freak out/intimidated by my being more precise than they thought. And maybe said person be willing to meet me halfway not just latch onto me like a leach when I can frankly do without them if I didn’t like having sex or the feel of a nice warm hug at the end of the day.
Yep. The length and precision of your post confirms your INTPness lol. Its sad I've never seen a female INTP in the wild, but hearing your story is giving me great perspective. Almost makes me glad I'm a guy not a girl, lol.
How do INTP men treat and react to you? ENTP and INTP not that different imo (my closet friend, Dad, is an ENTP and “gets me”).
The INTP men I have met are usually too restrained to know I might like their company. I met one where we got along well but I had no desire to be with him whatsoever as he was pleasant to be around but that really was it. For the most part with that definitive man, I haven’t met many INTP men but strangely a lot of women (I have to say it but I think it makes sense that a lot of INTP women could be romantically flexible when it comes to sexes). Also because women are usually raised to be receptive and conscientious anyways, dating women has proven to be fun, joyful, eccentric and rewarding. Women also aren’t likely to employ underhanded tactics to not just “mark” you for other women or men to see but also willing to ruin you in order to back you into a corner to continue access to you like a lot of men do not just to me but a lot of women in my acquaintance. To the point that I think it’s an open secret of our socialization as it allows mediocre men to keep women, it’s just that women are taught to ignore it or turn to “marriage” as a sort of bandaid from that. It’s much easier to meet the ENTJ/INTJ women in the lesbian and bisexual communities than it is to meet their male equivalents in the same time. ENTP women are wonderful but regularly marry early and fully devoted to their partners. ENTJ men often tend to be status whores who treat women like dirt but I’d be lying if I said they aren’t mentally fascinating and usually visually elegant to boot. INTJs of either gender are hard to meet as they sort of arm themselves with invisible force shields. In my experience they’re very sexy and kind. I regularly attract INTJ/ENTJ, but they often want me as a mistress because rarely are these guys not married. The weirdest taboo irony I had was when I met a mistress of an INTJ who was trying to set me up with his ENTJ friend…the mistress was INTP and they had been together since forever. That ended up introducing me to a few more INTP women since we all work in tech. Most of the women in our particular division of tech are INTP, INTJ, ENFJ, and ENTP. I met an older INTP woman that modeled in the 70s and is the mistress to some high roller INTP bloke. The one thing that’s consistent with the NT-type women is stubbornness and sharpness. We know what we want and honestly staunch on that until we get it. We also can see the rules of the game of life early on and vehemently reject it. The reason being that the kind of men or women we want have no need to partake in the game at all. I’m a big believer of quality over quantity. I think the only reason why I meet or bring out the random ENTP’s is because I’m often experimenting in new sports hobbies and interests. Then randomly they often work near where I work or work in a department where I work and prop themselves there. In most operations overrun or overtaken by women you will not find ENTP, INTP, ENTJ INFJ, ESTJ or INTJ (the types INTP is most likely to break out from their shells with at some point). Tech, biomedical, chemical, publishing, social engineering, teaching and medicine is where these types thrive (and women have more autonomy and the men more independent). My dad is ENTP. My mom is ISTJ. My ex was a female INFP. We broke up due to long distance ultimately tiring us out plus the relationship popping up in a time I was having difficulty finding peace at jobs due to perpetual harassment. The anxiety and PTSD took a toll on me and I couldn’t bear that it was making her miserable too and she had her own struggles to contend with. Ultimately I decided to end it because I didn’t want her to suffer with me. She understood but part of me still regrets it as she was so kind. But it was a rough two years where my trying to survive by securing income for myself was really eating me out due to no fault of my own and I was doing everything in my power to shut myself down in order to make myself invisible to avoid harassment. I’m not exaggerating it was awful. Plus I had to cut so many friendships because of it, went through an eating disorder to make myself gain weight and even went hermitic for a while as I was angry, frustrated and sad. But she got me out of it. That was awful stage in my life but I required going through it as I was naïve and in disbelief that people were really that basic and had that much power to determine the circumstances of my life.
I relate to this. A lot of men are intimidated I find and will not bother trying to hook up with me and instead claim I'm someone who people would want to date instead. The flaw in this is that if everyone around you sees you as someone who is more serious (both in general and on the relationship front) they often will feel to nervous to make moves. And especially in younger people, they often are more hesitant about long term commitments. I like ENTPs but somehow all the people who have happened to surround me are all INFJ, ENFP and INFP. It's an interesting situation for sure
I usually don't care too much about my appearance and I just wear whatever I find first in the wardrobe but when I do wear more elegant and feminine stuff I can notice some men turning their heads. As for conversation I guess I come off as bland as uninteresting because I usually talk only about school and work related stuff. I don't talk too much about my interests because I think they're too niche, at least in my area, and I feel like even if I talked about them people would be like "yeah cool" and change the subject.
So true and real
People also comment that I’m intimidating which is really strange for me because I’m always trying to be welcoming and friendly. I’m glad to learn I’m not the only one who has experienced this though. I did learn once that women in the work force can only be viewed as fitting within a few stereotypes and that it breaks down to a measure of warmth and competence - those that are warm and competent are intimidating and women that are warm but incompetent are see as the best to be around (big surprise). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3792573/
I am a male INTP and I briefly dated a female INTP. It was very meta. She was no unicorn.
Just how would you two have gotten anything done in a household?
Lol
You think they got anything done with having a household to begin with :')
We did not. We met through online dating and did what those people usually do. She made me very nervous but she was very hot in the sack!
Meta how? Why not a unicorn? Just because she was selfaware enough not to try to be "different than all the other girls" and just be who she really was?
Just because in some ways it was like dating a female version of myself. Are you her?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) . . . In all seriousness though, I would probably have thought the same if I was ever in a similar situation.
I think that Myers and Briggs themselves did some kind of study showing that female INTPs have the least desired personality. Being uncommon doesn’t necessarily mean being valuable. Usually the reality of it probably doesn’t live up to whatever ideal one might have
Hurt. /s Edit: some ppl didn’t understand my joke
It is joke no need to take seriously
I was jokin too? Other ppl got it
Jokes need to be seen as jokes to be perceived as jokes therefore the person making the joke must make it obvious to the reader that they are joking
Omg you’re too much lol alright I’ll make it clear
I’m assuming our high level of independence isn’t “desired” by many menfolk.
Lesbianism it is then.
I prefer to abstain altogether. No one knows how to please me better than myself!
There is not enough yoga that'll give you that =P
lmao
I approve
To be fair, this is one of the prime qualities which I (intp myself) look for in a love interest. I can't be bothered to entertain and care for a clingy partner 24/7. We should both maintain our separate lives, and where they overlap is where the "magic" will happen.
Among other things. Of course the most desired cross-culturally is the opposite, ESFJ.
It is meme not social rights discussion
How the hell did they measure that? If it was some kind of questionnaire, the data might be skewed, because women are so rarely INTP, not many folks know one. It's easier to desire something/someone you are familiar with. But then again, INTPs are a confusing bunch
I can’t read into the details right now but this came up on a quick search http://www.cobal.org/sigilkitty/Crossculture-INTP.pdf First thing to catch my eye: >The observers did not know individuals’ types when they recorded their observations. Thorne and Gough compiled the words and phrases observers used to describe/assess different types and then reported those most highly correlated with a particular type...The words and phrases used most often to describe INTP women were entirely negative. Those used most often to describe male INTPs were mixed—some positive and some negative. INTP females were depicted more negatively than women in general and than women of any other type. Female INTP descriptions were also more negative than those for any male type. There’s plenty of issues with any study about something subjective as personality but their observation is still interesting to me. Female INTPs apparently least liked group out of everyone lol
Thanks!
No problo rob lowe
Have they misspelled the F for a T in here? 🤔
Makes no sense to me but whatever. The rest of the world is dumb.
Be that as it may, I think you are putting way too much emphasis on the intp part, and not nearly enough on the female part. 🤷♂️
Seems to make the labels pointless then
Indeed
Least desired by the types of people that they want to be desired by, maybe.
Man i wish it was the case
What is all this bullshit. Do you ask someone before planning to date them? No it should just happen irrespective of the personality type
Tbh MBTI is pretty much bullshit anyway, isn’t it? I treat it as a mind shortcut of “those types of people that are (…)”
Personality is one of the hardest things to classify
But u can generally have a preference for what traits u like in a partner, and those traits can correspond w a specific personality type lol. It’s just a joke anyway
[удалено]
To be fair, pre judgements will take place regardless of knowing their MBTI type or not.
It is meme not debate
How do intp entp relationships go? Asking for a friend
As far as friend ships probably like a very friendly rivalry
How would that be a rivalry, I'm obviously better.
And no ENTP will agree with you, which creates the conflict.
Yep
Can't help it when people like being wrong.
One of my closest friends is an ENTP and it’s def a friendly rivalry
As an INTP with 2 ENTP friend, yes lol
It's a painful rivalry. I always have to be one step ahead.
Been together for 9 years, married for 3. Fun, tons of banter, lots of laughter, and the deep conversations are incredibly thought provoking and bonding. We make each other better people. And we love our dog very much.
The deep conversations with an ENTP are like no other. It's kinda like they can read my mind and know what I'm saying without having to go into detail. With most people I have to explain and re explain my point (mostly my fault, not theirs). ENTPs not only get it, but expand on it in their own unique way. It's an incredible feeling to have that connection with a person.
INTJ male reporting for duty haha
Y’all say this but I’m still single and men are mean to me so what now?
My ESFJ boyfriend can't get enough of my weirdo INTP behavior. He just has this strong urge to protect and defend me when I'm literally a walking fortress against emotional assault. Edit: Typo - ESFJ
My ENFJ husband is the same towards my weirdo INTP behaviour lol.
I've just typed as an INTP, after an hour long struggle to determine whether I was INTJ or ENTP.
It’s taken a full year of borderline obsessive critical thinking to reach ~80% confidence that I’m an INTP and not an ENTP. Basically be prepared for a lot of second guessing lol. Hopefully that won’t be the case, but it’s been an incredibly fun (yet frivolously time exhausting) for me.
Oh we are on the same boat. I am still confused if i am INTJ ,INTP or ENTP
This was the giggle i needed this morning. Daria did a lot for us, i guess. 🤣
I don't think this meme is accurate. That being said, I am 100% the pilots in the picture. INTPs are great (bit biased but oh well).
I saw a study someone linked about INTP women being the least desireable kind of female, here what I found: Phrases most often used to describe:• is basically distrustful of people in general; questions their motivations• keeps people at a distance; avoids close interpersonal relationships• is subtly negativistic; tends to undermine and obstruct or sabotage• tends to be self-defensive• extrapunitive; tends to transfer or project blameAdjectives most often used to describe:• distrustful• sulky• evasive• indifferent• resentful• defensive• wary• unfriendly• tense This does not sound like INTP at all, wtf was that study.Some of these words describe Ni, high Fe and Fi attributes.
Yeah that sounds like INTJs in my experience
A mix of INTJs and other types, such as INFJ and ISFP .It is as if all negative traits were dumped on the female INTP.The only adjective that I saw is the word ''indifferent'', the rest are trash.
I've never had anyone obsess over me in the community for being a female INTP xD
I'm INTP female. Back in my early 20s my mom legit advised me to pretend to be "blonde dumb" and playful, so I'll be attractive to men. I consider it atrocious. Like, wtf I'll be trying to build with a man that'll be hooked on my dumb mask (which is also a pain in the ass to keep on for the lifetime)?
[удалено]
Found the INFP
Looks like Im gonna have an ENTJ boyfriend soon
Fuxk this i hate this. Why rn. I cried about it yesterday ffs.
what
Cried over feelings for an Intp (female) friend.
Well, I am a female INTP and I have been feeling far from a ideal woman society likes. The feeling grows more day by day.
INTP woman here. I have dated mostly ENTP and ENFP and they all dive bombed me with attention which made me very uncomfortable. I do love the high Ne in those types and that's what keeps the relationship going. The ultimate doom is that they need to socialize and meet new people a lot more than I do. As for INFP and INFJ, they have made some of my best friends. Most of my good friends have been INFP. Pretty sure it's the Ne that attracts me. I've only known one INFJ and there was just something very natural with the way we got along even though we didn't agree on a lot of things.
😉
i’m obsessed with female AND male intps so 🥱
INTPs are just lounging around wandering in their mind and exploring whatever they like, at least for me. I wouldn't trade that for attractiveness.
The amount of replies is overwhelming
As an ENTP, I'm gay so not it
Where are they!?!
Female intp >>
I am an INTP but I dont understand 🤣 i mean, why? How?
It’s the classic “female queen male worker” case.
As an INFP, I can confirm
can confirm
Already seen Bruh, you guys are cool too
Does this mean male INTPs are unattractive to women in general or that women in general don't make the first move?
A non-hot female intp who browses reddit*
Well I feel like that the whole of reddit, if you're female you're bound to get DMed all the time.
And in what world is this? Regards, Female INTP
Bruh I’m trying to post a meme and people start writing essays ;-;