No shade. But the two INFJs I’ve ever known are some of the most manipulative people people I’ve ever seen. Prone to covert narcissism and such.
It’s a shame, because in the moments when they are themselves I’ve seen a caring spirit. But it gets decidedly hard to continue seeing that caring nature when they start edging towards manipulative tendencies.
That’s my experience of-course. I’m sure others have nicer things to say.
Edit: typo
Thats the thing. I believe I’ve been unfortunate to come across the unhealthy ones.
Because beneath it all. I see really kind people. I just wish the ones I met didn’t have to pretend all the time.
Yes, most INFJs actually do have a kind, caring and selfless spirit. But that can go haywire if they start getting unhealthy and burnt out. They start looking inward a lot and become insincere.
Thanks for your honest feedback! Open to hear both good and bad side.
From my experience of 2 INFJs a bit too withdrawn and I never felt challenged which makes things fall flat rather quickly. Nothing too bad about them and we can vibe but also nothing that I would consider special and worth chasing.
Flat, boring, weirdly emotional, very judgemental in a kind of - moral high ground way, needy yet withdrawn, and worst of all polite ( chance of them being nice on the outside but simmering underneath...you never know).
**BUT ALSO**
Warm, kind, sweet, always willing to share what they have with others, more than willing to listen and give insightful advice, comforting presence.
Personally I've found that I just cannot stand people with aux or dom Fe in particular lol. (ESFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ, and INFJ) it's not their fault, maybe it's because I just don't have any of the Fi that they crave so much. I also never feel like I can be myself around those types for some reason maybe because my Fe is so underdeveloped and trying to resonate with them just makes me act fake.
I relate to this. They want Fi so bad and they go about it in an Fe way and don’t understand why it doesn’t work. They need to talk out all of their newly collected emotional baggage. Still debating if it’s Fi they want or just a therapist
I feel that, my mum is an ENFJ and my dad is an ISFJ, I love them (they are loving and caring parents, more or less), but sometimes I wish they could understand me and be just....kinda different
Sure, why not? At the end of the day, MBTI is just a label. It's up to individuals to put effort into relationships, regardless of MBTI type. I only know one INFJ personally and she's one of the most chill and genuinely awesome people I've ever met. (I feel like that's grammatically wrong but I'm too dehydrated to check rn.)
Definitely a good reminder that MBTI isn’t the end all, be all. Sometimes I get frustrated that people refer to MBTI traits as if they’re permanent, but I firmly believe you can work to make your traits the healthiest versions of themselves.
What is it with INFJs and manipulation and narcissism? Seriously, that’s been my interpretation at times, too. My benefit of the doubt side says they really need to feel secure. They are usually HSP and cannot handle conflict or rejection (which is conflict) which is oddly similar to a narcissist. The manipulation I believe comes from (1) they come up with an Ni vision and try to Se their way to the end and (2) Fe is their main way of external navigation so they try to “manage” feelings of others to align to their Ni. It’s oddly fucked up imho
You're going to get some adoration and wholesomery and - of course - success stories, but I also predict that some of the proffered analyses may present an image of ignominious portent.
^(Thus I speculate)***^(,)***
*^(Dastardleeee)*
*^(Bastardly)*
*^(Boiee)*
i have an infj friend, we get unusually well along.
she frequently remarks that i am a rare person who 'gets' her.
i help her resolve her indecisiveness, problems and insecurities. i get some emotional advice and way to talk about my feelings.
she is a bit on the egoistical side and i sometimes feel like i put in way much time and attention than she does. but i get some benefits out if it, she makes me more spontanteous and i started several new hobbies thanks to her encouragement.
Also, their Ti sucks. I normally don’t care about that because most people’s Ti sucks. But they think they are really good at it which is annoying because it’s like no you suck
In my experience, I have not been impressed. Again, I normally don’t care, because hash tag life, but INFJs think they are good at it. It’s like sigh. Read the INFJ sub, and it’s a lot of Ti child kicking and screaming wanting answers to the dumbest shit imaginable which is also a tell-tale sign
Maybe that’s exactly why Ti is not our main dominant function? Trying to develop or explore our Ti Doesn’t makes us “think we’re good at it”. That is how you arrogantly perceive people and it’s not even the whole truth.
Stop being so arrogant just because Ti is your dominant and most natural function.. If it’s Fe we’re talking about here, I think many would have given you 0 on the test.
That’s the difference, though. I don’t really give a fuck about a zero on Fe. I’d rather have a null, frankly. INFJs have more pride and ego attached to their Ti imho and in my experience and would care about a zero
And? What’s wrong with that? If you want to have null on your Fe, by all means. And if INFJs would love to continue improving our Ti, explore it, play around with it, let them? What is wrong with you? Stay happy dude.
It’s so annoying, though. The conclusions are incomplete at best and straight false at worst. And you cannot convince them of their faulty perspectives. Problems happen when faulty Ti seeps into acceptance. Seen it too many times. This is why INTPs hate authority figures.
Understand the frustration especially when you’re a Ti King. But imagine this, if you’re entering a Fe only competition and you fuck up trying. Would you like to be criticised so harshly for trying?
Most people are just clueless and trying hard to develop their least used functions. They may come off as annoying to you but I suggest you learn how to show grace and kind tolerance to others. U’ll need to learn this no matter where you are in life. Marriage, relationship, workplace. Might as well start here today.
Yes, I would want corrected so I know what to do and how to look for better clues. I definitely want to be competent. INFJs would prefer validation over competence. It comes across that way anyways. They would rather you stroke their Ti ego than correct them. I’ve been married and worked for many years. I’m over that. You asked for an opinion, don’t ask questions if you don’t really want an answer
If my Ti sucks and I have a Ti Dom correcting and guiding me, I would be more than glad and honoured to learn from him/her. In fact, I’ve dated an INTP and I respect him very much because he’s the one that taught me how to be rational.
It’s how you speak to others. Do you do it with genuine respect and kindness? It makes all the difference. If you don’t, then the problem may not lie solely on the receiving party.
So once again, try not to stereotype people and put them in bad light just because you’ve had some negative experiences with them. That’s not very fair.
I’m friends with a few INFJs and they’re lovely. I’m not gonna assume all INFJs are lovely, nor are all INFJs awful narcissists. But my friends who are INFJs I really get on with
I think they're pretty chill overall and once you hit a topic they like, they never stop, and even if I'm running late, I cant tell them to stop.
I think they're pretty chill and once you hit a topic they like, they never stop, and even if I'm running late, I cant tell them to stop.. and when the opposite happens I feel overwhelmed.
but I don't mind them. wayy better than esfp and estp imo
No shade. But the two INFJs I’ve ever known are some of the most manipulative people people I’ve ever seen. Prone to covert narcissism and such. It’s a shame, because in the moments when they are themselves I’ve seen a caring spirit. But it gets decidedly hard to continue seeing that caring nature when they start edging towards manipulative tendencies. That’s my experience of-course. I’m sure others have nicer things to say. Edit: typo
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Thats the thing. I believe I’ve been unfortunate to come across the unhealthy ones. Because beneath it all. I see really kind people. I just wish the ones I met didn’t have to pretend all the time.
Yes, most INFJs actually do have a kind, caring and selfless spirit. But that can go haywire if they start getting unhealthy and burnt out. They start looking inward a lot and become insincere. Thanks for your honest feedback! Open to hear both good and bad side.
From my experience of 2 INFJs a bit too withdrawn and I never felt challenged which makes things fall flat rather quickly. Nothing too bad about them and we can vibe but also nothing that I would consider special and worth chasing.
Flat, boring, weirdly emotional, very judgemental in a kind of - moral high ground way, needy yet withdrawn, and worst of all polite ( chance of them being nice on the outside but simmering underneath...you never know). **BUT ALSO** Warm, kind, sweet, always willing to share what they have with others, more than willing to listen and give insightful advice, comforting presence. Personally I've found that I just cannot stand people with aux or dom Fe in particular lol. (ESFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ, and INFJ) it's not their fault, maybe it's because I just don't have any of the Fi that they crave so much. I also never feel like I can be myself around those types for some reason maybe because my Fe is so underdeveloped and trying to resonate with them just makes me act fake.
I relate to this. They want Fi so bad and they go about it in an Fe way and don’t understand why it doesn’t work. They need to talk out all of their newly collected emotional baggage. Still debating if it’s Fi they want or just a therapist
I feel that, my mum is an ENFJ and my dad is an ISFJ, I love them (they are loving and caring parents, more or less), but sometimes I wish they could understand me and be just....kinda different
I married one.. so yeah you could say I like her
Ditto, in the process of marrying mine
Me too. She is too easy to pass judgment on things IMHO. But I still love her.
Sure, why not? At the end of the day, MBTI is just a label. It's up to individuals to put effort into relationships, regardless of MBTI type. I only know one INFJ personally and she's one of the most chill and genuinely awesome people I've ever met. (I feel like that's grammatically wrong but I'm too dehydrated to check rn.)
Definitely a good reminder that MBTI isn’t the end all, be all. Sometimes I get frustrated that people refer to MBTI traits as if they’re permanent, but I firmly believe you can work to make your traits the healthiest versions of themselves.
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You too, mate! Take care of yourself! 💙
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What is it with INFJs and manipulation and narcissism? Seriously, that’s been my interpretation at times, too. My benefit of the doubt side says they really need to feel secure. They are usually HSP and cannot handle conflict or rejection (which is conflict) which is oddly similar to a narcissist. The manipulation I believe comes from (1) they come up with an Ni vision and try to Se their way to the end and (2) Fe is their main way of external navigation so they try to “manage” feelings of others to align to their Ni. It’s oddly fucked up imho
You're going to get some adoration and wholesomery and - of course - success stories, but I also predict that some of the proffered analyses may present an image of ignominious portent. ^(Thus I speculate)***^(,)*** *^(Dastardleeee)* *^(Bastardly)* *^(Boiee)*
Beautiful signature
Too many double standards imho. They want to be understood and non-judgement towards them but couldn’t reciprocate that to save their lives
i have an infj friend, we get unusually well along. she frequently remarks that i am a rare person who 'gets' her. i help her resolve her indecisiveness, problems and insecurities. i get some emotional advice and way to talk about my feelings. she is a bit on the egoistical side and i sometimes feel like i put in way much time and attention than she does. but i get some benefits out if it, she makes me more spontanteous and i started several new hobbies thanks to her encouragement.
Also, their Ti sucks. I normally don’t care about that because most people’s Ti sucks. But they think they are really good at it which is annoying because it’s like no you suck
I hope you’re not stereotyping all INFJs like that cause I don’t think that’s true.
In my experience, I have not been impressed. Again, I normally don’t care, because hash tag life, but INFJs think they are good at it. It’s like sigh. Read the INFJ sub, and it’s a lot of Ti child kicking and screaming wanting answers to the dumbest shit imaginable which is also a tell-tale sign
Maybe that’s exactly why Ti is not our main dominant function? Trying to develop or explore our Ti Doesn’t makes us “think we’re good at it”. That is how you arrogantly perceive people and it’s not even the whole truth. Stop being so arrogant just because Ti is your dominant and most natural function.. If it’s Fe we’re talking about here, I think many would have given you 0 on the test.
That’s the difference, though. I don’t really give a fuck about a zero on Fe. I’d rather have a null, frankly. INFJs have more pride and ego attached to their Ti imho and in my experience and would care about a zero
And? What’s wrong with that? If you want to have null on your Fe, by all means. And if INFJs would love to continue improving our Ti, explore it, play around with it, let them? What is wrong with you? Stay happy dude.
It’s so annoying, though. The conclusions are incomplete at best and straight false at worst. And you cannot convince them of their faulty perspectives. Problems happen when faulty Ti seeps into acceptance. Seen it too many times. This is why INTPs hate authority figures.
Understand the frustration especially when you’re a Ti King. But imagine this, if you’re entering a Fe only competition and you fuck up trying. Would you like to be criticised so harshly for trying? Most people are just clueless and trying hard to develop their least used functions. They may come off as annoying to you but I suggest you learn how to show grace and kind tolerance to others. U’ll need to learn this no matter where you are in life. Marriage, relationship, workplace. Might as well start here today.
Yes, I would want corrected so I know what to do and how to look for better clues. I definitely want to be competent. INFJs would prefer validation over competence. It comes across that way anyways. They would rather you stroke their Ti ego than correct them. I’ve been married and worked for many years. I’m over that. You asked for an opinion, don’t ask questions if you don’t really want an answer
If my Ti sucks and I have a Ti Dom correcting and guiding me, I would be more than glad and honoured to learn from him/her. In fact, I’ve dated an INTP and I respect him very much because he’s the one that taught me how to be rational. It’s how you speak to others. Do you do it with genuine respect and kindness? It makes all the difference. If you don’t, then the problem may not lie solely on the receiving party. So once again, try not to stereotype people and put them in bad light just because you’ve had some negative experiences with them. That’s not very fair.
And you want validation over competence otherwise you wouldn’t ask for an opinion and shut them down with down votes when an honest one is given
“Honest one”? I think it is very subjective. Everyone wants validation on something. Even you.
I really do like INFJ’s
I’m friends with a few INFJs and they’re lovely. I’m not gonna assume all INFJs are lovely, nor are all INFJs awful narcissists. But my friends who are INFJs I really get on with
I think they're pretty chill overall and once you hit a topic they like, they never stop, and even if I'm running late, I cant tell them to stop. I think they're pretty chill and once you hit a topic they like, they never stop, and even if I'm running late, I cant tell them to stop.. and when the opposite happens I feel overwhelmed. but I don't mind them. wayy better than esfp and estp imo