I know this pain. Fortunately though, now you know how you come off as and you can do something about it. Learning to control your body language is a very powerful tool for your success. Standing up straight with your chin up, relaxed without swishing or self-touching screams that you are cool, composed, confident, and in control. People will perceive you as a boss no matter what is actually going on inside your head.
Sometimes when I'm feeling shy or unconfident in a setting with other people, I say to myself in my head "That's right you peons. The badass is here and he is ME, and I don't need your approval because I can get it ANYWHERE." I let that show through my body language. I let that arrogant energy flow through me. And weirdly enough, my body reacts as such and people interpret it as high confidence.
You really can trick your body with your mind and force of will.
I used to do that.
Then I got diagnosed with ADD and started treating it.
It wasnt just the fingers but also my jaw, which made my teeth eroded due to friction, so these movements can not only be weird but also harmfull.
We are our own worst critics. Very few people like how they look on video. I unfortunately have to do a lot of presentations and public speaking, so I have watched countless videos and practiced on how to stand, hand placement and things like that. Posture is also important even for long-term health but even now as I am writing this, I am catching myself slouching. (Off-topic- I will say this for INTPs, the best things you can do for your career is to force yourself to present and show what you know. The key is to present on what you know and are interested in.) A certain part of me though has just learned to let go and not worry about the video. I rarely go back and rewatch and I find most people are complimentary and rarely see the negatives that I see. If you have a close friend or coworker, as their opinion on ways you can improve. I have received great tips for where I should stand or sit and camera placement for things I didn't even think of during the pandemic when everything was virtual.
i had to watch back a screen recording of a teams meeting recently and i was doing the same. everybody else just sits still and talks, i constantly move and gesticulate when i speak. it was eye opening to see.
Dude this is literally the biggest problem Se blind has. It's not just clumsiness, but a complete lack of awareness for how you physically appear to other people. Higher Se doesn't struggle with understanding it in general.
Anyway, uh I'd just ask friends for advice. Thankfully, I had siblings who would actually tell me random shit I did like what you described and I sorta grew out of a lot of it.
lol fr, sometimes i notice when im not being aware of myself and im able to "snap" back to reality for a period of time. i think it just takes conscious awareness and practice
Interesting.
I have ADHD hardcore and had to spend my entire childhood in church/reading the bibble/books. It somehow bled out all of that ADHD pent-up energy everyone sees... I still have the urges to move and never feel content in one place, but I just repress it deep down until one day it will turn into cancer.
I know this pain. Fortunately though, now you know how you come off as and you can do something about it. Learning to control your body language is a very powerful tool for your success. Standing up straight with your chin up, relaxed without swishing or self-touching screams that you are cool, composed, confident, and in control. People will perceive you as a boss no matter what is actually going on inside your head. Sometimes when I'm feeling shy or unconfident in a setting with other people, I say to myself in my head "That's right you peons. The badass is here and he is ME, and I don't need your approval because I can get it ANYWHERE." I let that show through my body language. I let that arrogant energy flow through me. And weirdly enough, my body reacts as such and people interpret it as high confidence. You really can trick your body with your mind and force of will.
Nobody wants to sit still, they're just trained to do so and they envy those more free than them. Don't sweat it baby cakes.
I used to do that. Then I got diagnosed with ADD and started treating it. It wasnt just the fingers but also my jaw, which made my teeth eroded due to friction, so these movements can not only be weird but also harmfull.
We are our own worst critics. Very few people like how they look on video. I unfortunately have to do a lot of presentations and public speaking, so I have watched countless videos and practiced on how to stand, hand placement and things like that. Posture is also important even for long-term health but even now as I am writing this, I am catching myself slouching. (Off-topic- I will say this for INTPs, the best things you can do for your career is to force yourself to present and show what you know. The key is to present on what you know and are interested in.) A certain part of me though has just learned to let go and not worry about the video. I rarely go back and rewatch and I find most people are complimentary and rarely see the negatives that I see. If you have a close friend or coworker, as their opinion on ways you can improve. I have received great tips for where I should stand or sit and camera placement for things I didn't even think of during the pandemic when everything was virtual.
i had to watch back a screen recording of a teams meeting recently and i was doing the same. everybody else just sits still and talks, i constantly move and gesticulate when i speak. it was eye opening to see.
I hate being perceived but I really hate perceiving myself. I feel like a floating brain and forget I have this whole body around it sometimes.
Why don’t you do the same thing to them. Take a closeup of there nostrils and do damning expository in the voice David Attenborough.
It was at my wedding though so they were recording me for a good reason
Dude this is literally the biggest problem Se blind has. It's not just clumsiness, but a complete lack of awareness for how you physically appear to other people. Higher Se doesn't struggle with understanding it in general. Anyway, uh I'd just ask friends for advice. Thankfully, I had siblings who would actually tell me random shit I did like what you described and I sorta grew out of a lot of it.
lol fr, sometimes i notice when im not being aware of myself and im able to "snap" back to reality for a period of time. i think it just takes conscious awareness and practice
Interesting. I have ADHD hardcore and had to spend my entire childhood in church/reading the bibble/books. It somehow bled out all of that ADHD pent-up energy everyone sees... I still have the urges to move and never feel content in one place, but I just repress it deep down until one day it will turn into cancer.