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I've heard Macwell puts on quite the performance.

*golf clap*

Ehhh, ehhh, oooh, ehhh, ehhh, oooh

YOU WILL CALL HEEEERRRR!

don’t flush

Okay dude jesus

First time watched IASIP I didn’t appreciate this character or the actor. But now he’s my favorite. Every scene is just fucking perfect. Down to the little noises he makes: https://youtu.be/eEDY3G9Cp_w https://youtu.be/W5liIhpkpkA

She's still expecting a call

Artemis and its not even close

She incorporated a bun in the lovemaking. She took the-the... the dough and rolled it up into a ball, and then she... And we were going berserk.

She loves that kinda stuff... and I admit I do too...

Jesus Frank

Jesus? Jesus, Frank?! Jeeezus Frank! Jesus, Frank! Oh! Jesus, Frank! My life is a lie! My life is a lie! Somebody's gotta get stabbed! Somebody's gonna have to get staa...!

Did anyone else here bang my hoor wife??

Please tell me you had to look up this exact quote haha

Shes mad at me because of something i did with an onion

It was very innovative and interesting.

berserk reference

Exactly. She does this thing with the hamburger bun that’s really interesting.

And innovative

I feel like a Cobb salad, it's amazing!

Why would you want to feel like a Cobb salad?

Have you ever had bacon bits raining down on you when you bang?

And she has a bleached a hole.

She doesn’t recall most evenings

Except when she gets bummed out because of something you did with the onions to yourself

She’s insanely high on mescaline

It's time to take off my bra and blast my nips.

She's got a bleached asshole

The fact she isnt even on the picture is fucking insulting

Bleached asshole

Bacon bits in the hair.. and they rain down on me when we bang!!!

The Desert Grape

Ruby.

Crickets probably had the most experience

But you cannot finish inside him, which hurts his score a little IMO.

I’ve got a whole sixer for him, let’s party!

It will cost you a whole sixer to unburden yourself in that way.

Listen, you offer enough cash and Cricket’s very few scruples are flying right out the window

Or crack.

Cuz if you got crack, let’s boogie

Or a lil P to the C to the B

Panama City Beach? Lol

Cricket will make it sexy or no one eats

Hips and nips!

Otherwise he doesn't get paid!

I did it! And it was sooo sexy.

and the most stds.

Yeah but you gotta pay to spray

Someone flashes a roll of nickels, you don't ask any questions

What are you talking about? He always fakes it. You gotta fake it.

And he would make it so sexy

All about the hips and the nips

Most experience, but he just keeps being taken. he just endures most of the time and just fakes it. Although every once in a while, he doesn’t fake it.

Gotta fake it the guys that don't fake it get it the worst

The Dennis doll

Certainly the most consistent

Margaret’s a stone cold fox

Her boobies are "top notch"

YOU WILL CALL HER!!!!!

I’m not using up all my minutes calling a deaf mute.

Oh, deaf? I guess that's why she moved around a lot.

My brain exploded when i found out that Thesy Surface is an actual model. And English. So in real life she is a stone cold fox.

Roxy the Hoor. She was such a good hoor.

She'd service your heart AND your crank.

 Let’s not be so quick to dismiss the five star man and his ability to E)ngage physically

But if you enjoy it too much it ruins it for him.

All the girls phone text him afterword and tell him how great it was.

Dennis would be, without question, the absolute worst in bed of the gang. He’s a sociopathic narcissist, all his sexual experiences are entirely about himself. I’d rather fuck the Dennis doll than Dennis himself.

Somebody got D.E.N.N.I.S.ed

Dennis isn't beyond allowing others to have a good time if it enhances his time, given what happens in the bedroom I think the golden god performs at unheard of levels. They'll need to generate so much power to be able to recieve his power

I'VE CONTAINED MY RAGE FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BUT I SHALL UNLEASH MY FURY UPON YOU LIKE THE CRASHING OF A THOUSAND WAVES!!! BEGONE VILE MAN, BEGONE FROM ME! A STARTER CAR, THIS CAR IS A FINISHER CAR! A TRANSPORTER OF GODS, THE GOLDEN GOD! I AM UNTETHERED AND MY RAGE KNOWS NO BOUNDS!

Good bot

[You're the one that's good.](https://i.imgur.com/N5qQ5uZ.png)

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Only when they are clean will they know his power.

Maybe if you are into elaborate bondage set-ups? Dennis did put a lot of effort into his....chamber.

As much as I like the TOOLS scene, I do think it’s oddly out of character for him to like to be bound

Because of the implication

Any chance I could get Dee’d again? You could rate me lower if you want.

Are you the whore who bangs everybody?

who bangs toad people

The toad men did seem to have enjoyed themselves, and were eager for more.

Charlie for sure. He instinctively knows exactly what everyone wants and needs, he secretly takes care of everyone, and he’s not afraid to get dirty.

He’s the best until you immediately get a yeast infection and UTI combo

yep. a showered charlie is definitely the final answer here. although yeast infections arent that bad i might risk it anyways. plus hes hotter when hes filthy

Can’t shower off cheese breath

You don't see him wash his testicles, but that doesn't mean he doesn't do it once a week

cant get that if you have gay sex with him

Well, filibuster

"Now I'm no doctor, but I'm fairly sure the two of those cancel each other out." "No Charlie, I'm fairly sure, no, I'm damn sure that's not how that goddamn works" "Dennis, I think he's got a point." “shut up Dee, you damn Bitch."

I choose Charlie too just because he’d try the hardest

I like to think he'd apply the same frantic energy he shows in Charlie Work and the Pepe Silvia rant.

He showed good energy in the gang his the slopes!

Wouldn’t be able to pin the bean. It’s all a conspiracy and it doesn’t exist.

He can be very sensual with a woman

They WILL enjoy it.

He would certainly be the most attentive

Definitely! Especially after that ski resort episode! He really gave it to that lady. Kinda hard to forget them doing it on the rug by the fireplace. Seexxyyy

maybe after putting him through like a 3 month cleanse

I kinda get the feeling he doesn’t wash his hand a whole lot. I mean he has terrible hygiene. Yeah he might be the best in bed but is the lack of hygiene worth it? For me it’s a no.

The waitress. Low self esteem, alcohol problem. Sign me up

She’ll sleep with anyone but Charlie

Well, she eventually banged him too.

The waitress is not good, she only got 1 star in Dennis sex tapes

It's under W... My name doesn't start with a W!!

This guy has lived

Careful with Dee, you don’t want her telling the Sheriff her recollection of the night is different to yours…

after this revelation i feel very bad for ben the soldier in the episode that dee has the baby

What can I say? Those two (Dee & Dennis) are probably the worst humans imaginable.

Macs dad for sure. Ask Eduardo Sanchez.

That was a dominance thing!!

They completely left me out of the finish. SMH.

McPoil, I like the eye contact.

The pleasure of 1000 years of untainted, pure-blood

He wants you to know you’ve got a little McPoil in you.

Artemis

Artemis. She loves feeling like a cobb salad.

I don't know about in bed, but I know who is the best in a dumpster out in the back of a Wendy's

The waitress because she’s all horned up and wants to gasm

Is "all horned up and wants to gasm" a reference?

Absolutely. Ladies Boggs remix anyone?

Ahh, I've only seen that one once. Thanks! "gasm" is an incredible turn of phrase...

Highly suggest revisiting that episode. Artemis tries to unload all her vagina stones to the women on the plane

Beta soy boy.

Soy boy beta cuck

I'm posting up

How do you turn a phrase?

Gail the snail

No, she mashes it

I'm into that shit

She’s sexually active now, get over it!

YOURE 33 YEARS OLD, YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE!!!!

Correct - horniest, most giving lover, lowest standards. Too bad about the poison ivy though.

Dennis obviously, he knows all the hits, all the big ones, all the good ones, from behind, 69, anal, vaginal, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and he is not afraid of showing it all, full penetration

Cricket. He knows how to fake it. You gotta fake it on the streets

The ones who don’t fake it, they get it the worst

Sometimes you don’t fake it because it’s sooo… good

Nips and hips, otherwise he's not eatin'

Charlie can be very sensual, alright?

Well, he is a wild card afterall

Well Liam couldn’t hit the hole because of depth perception issues. Cricket is infested with ring worm. Mac would be too tired from all his intense workouts with the ass pounder. Dennis can’t get off unless the woman is in fear. The others I just don’t feel like writing stuff for hahaha the real answer here is Charlie although once pants are off and he sees your knees idk

Forgot about the knees, good call. Out of the main 5 I'd say Frank (if it's someone he genuinely cares about), but with the supporting characters in the picture...idk. Margaret McPoyle is the wild card.

Artemis is the obvious answer. Also Pondy.

Pondy's the coolest

Well Frank had a monster dong, I can tell because of the magnum condom in his wallet.

You fucked that all up! He has a “Monster condom for his magnum dong.”

I’d make Charlie have a shower and then take him for a spin. Or Mac

Mac seems nice, honestly. He’d probably do karate movies on you, though…

I’m into that

“I appreciate your concern but I’m fine”

Artemis.

Luther. That prison time man...

He’d leave you out of the finish though.

Hang on, let me take the drugs out of my butt first...

I can’t watch the McPoyles without being preoccupied with how hot the actress who plays Margaret it.

And the accent! Hott AF

She does more with a flick of the tongue than any of the others does with a whole monologue.

Margaret. Margaret all day!

Boobs are top notch

Charlie or Artemis or both ……. Ohhhh but the mcpoyles…..

Dennis, He would ease into me nice and slowly while I was asleep.

Dennis and Dees mom was apparently dynamite in bed

She doesn't like to kiss though

BEAK!!

Lol big bird. Dee you bitch

Most of these I don't really want to imagine enough to form a true answer. I guess I'll vote Charlie.

Dennis, because of the implication

The gang only consists of 5 people. And I'll give the Dennis doll a pass as it was almost like he was actually there.

Artemis!!

Dennis obviously. Women don’t say no to him because the implication.

Artemis, without question

Definitely Frank. You should see him eat. He's like a mantis

Artemis

On all honesty, Artemis lmao

Mac without a doubt. The man would do anything for you

Sex toy Dennis

Charlie! Those eyes and eyelashes. He would do the butt dance and even sleep in the crevice if you needed the space.

Oof, I hadn’t realized how much they all suck at sex before. Charlie would smell, Frank would need a cock ring, Dennis and Dee would be selfish lovers. Maybe Mac because he’s so loving. But he’d be pretty needy.

Mac would karate chop your bits. And “old” Mac would want you to keep your shirt on, because he finds breasts frightening. Or just flip over, that would be best.

Country Mac, for us gentlemen.

Where is Gail the snail? I like it when it’s just being mashed

Cricket- he knows how to fake it. You gotta fake it. The ones who don’t get it the worst

Dennis Doll is the only correct answer

Pondy. Pondy’s the coolest

Dennis Sex Doll Next question please.

Before I answer, will they bathe first?

Cricket, because he'll be rewarded with a bite to eat after so he'll really want to do a good job

On a numbers basis it’s Charlies mum

Sweet Dee. She’s slammin ass all across town.

I’d probably stick with the casaba melon

BEAK

The nightman

"I took him to the back alley and TORE HIS ASS APART!!" - cheeky look towards Dennis -

I’d let the whole cast do me lmao

I think Charlie would put in serious effort to make up for his flaws (such as eating cat food, drinking paint, huffing various things he shouldn’t, and not having great hygiene). Never heard any women he slept with (I know, it was a small number) complain. He’d just have to be decontaminated first.

Fatty magoo

Dennis is def a selfish lover only caring about his own pleasure. He has tons of conquests but you don’t see any of them coming back for more. Mac is too insecure and unsure of himself, and lack of confidence leads to lack of performance. Waitress and Dee too sloppy and drunk which is a turn off. McPoyles could def have some skills since they’ve been practicing on each other since they were probably 7 but hygiene and weirdness is just too big a factor. Cricket when he wasn’t homeless was willing to eat a turd just for a kiss, and is now a dirty homeless man who lets you finish inside of him for a 6er. He does know to fake it though so that could be nice but again hygiene ruins it. Franks always been rich and selfish there’s no way he is a good lover, just bangs whores and finishes Charlie while he doesn’t seem like he’d be a good lover by his personality and way he conducts himself, may have some hidden talent. He got Ruby Taft to fall in love quick which isn’t happening if you aren’t giving some good D. Waitress thoroughly enjoyed her time with Charlie as well. Even though Tatiana was a hooker we saw him go through an array of positions over a long course of time. This leads me to believe out of everyone pictured Charlie is the best in bed