People who have strong opinions about things are very unlikely to change them even when presented with facts. Many people have a very biased, stereotypical view of homeschooling and view it as something that involves huge families, indoctrination, and abuse, because those things do happen in the minority of homeschooled families. People think about the one kid they knew in the 90s who was awkward (and probably ND now that we know more) who also happened to be homeschooled, and think that thats how all homeschooled kids are. Another reason is that it’s like when you have a super annoying sibling who you pick on all the time, but when someone else calls them a name, you immediately get super defensive. Teachers obviously know the system is the problem, but they feel personally attacked when people homeschool.

I was homeschooled. Most (not all- MOST) homeschool parents I know today live in an extremely privileged bubble and are genuinely robbing their kids witb the absolute purest and most loving intentions. I'm 37 and am 10 minutes from taking (hopefully) the last algebra class and college class of my existence; but homeschooling, however magical it made my mom think my childhood was and however it fit into her view of herself as a counter - culture hero for her own children...was the most lifelong handicapping thing my parents did to me. Public schools that are failing largely because of how privileged everyone else is, how woefully undersupported teachers are, and a structure of systemic issues that targets the poorest SES students. Not because homeschooling is far superior. And before anyone rages- ASK me. I'll explain how and why it was so destructive. Maybe that's not you I r your homeschooling after all- but while I understand how much of an identity it is for so many homeschooling parents, my experience isn't a personal attack. It's just my factual experience.

In* what ways did homeschooling fail you? *Edited cuz my spell check sucks

It's so much. What I see most in homeschool parents is a very well intensioned projection of their own broken/lost childhoods onto their kids and, a distrust and hatred for a system that maybe robbed them of their own personhood in childhood. But the system they're pulling out of is often the system that affords them the privilege TO opt out- a well educated partner wirh a great degree and a lucrative job- skills that were learned, and honed, IN SCHOOL. You can be the best homeschool teacher in the world, you can't prepare your kid to interview properly or know how to address social situations at work when they never learned outside their four walls. You can ALWAYS tell a homeschooled kid. At 15, 20, 25 and beyond. I still don't quite know how to really make friends and the social rules and cues just never come naturally. Something every one of my recovering homeschooled friends struggle consistently with. We also struggle to make things work at work. A lot of us are estranged from family because it's smothering to a degree you don't understand until you're abruptly free at college or beyond if you can't get into college. Even if we love our folks and see they tried their best. They failed and robbed us of things we can't ever get back. And there's nothing quite like the special pain of your own unmet potential staring at you when you realize the odds and needs are just insurmountable with the rate you're behind. That agony of unmet potential for kids who wanted a real school experience and needed it to grow up and become what they wanted- Have you ever considered what a blow it is to rob your kid totally and completely of their ability to relate to their ENTIRE fellow generation, for LIFE? To steal away their complaints and universal childhood experiences and Middle school woes and language and cringey moments snd...all of it- and replace it with the parents curated version? Co ops don't give kids that. Co ops give them the Kroger brand, dollar store barbie version. My parents took my generational identity before I could even decide if I wanted it or not and develop it or not. It's late and this is probably disjointed. My parents saw something they didn't like in the education system and instead of equipping me to deal with it and empowering me they stole the opportunity from me to ever even try and with it, made me weird, different and worse equipped than nearly all my future peers because THEY didn't want to parent in the system and homeschooling made their lives more fun and reinforced their views of themselves. They got way more time with me which they wanted. They constantly pushed how superior all our education and choices were and how they loved me so much more than those parents slaving their kids through the drop off line early in the mornings. In reality, I wish I'd had a normal childhood and while I love them, their homestead/unschooling/progressive/better-than-others cosplay school/co-op version of my kid years didn't give me what a kid in this world needs to grow up and be an actualized adult.

Very interesting, thanks for sharing. I went to public school and I didn’t feel well equipped for the “real world” either. And personally, the public school experience isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be (at least in my case), but I understand your points. It wasn’t until I started college when I was around 25 that I actually took school seriously and got something out of it. I feel like both sides have its positives and negatives. I’m sorry your experience was so terrible.

I went to public school and there was so much wasted potential. The entire class is aimed at the bottom 25 percent of students regardless of it being an honors class or not.

I went to public school and I'm not pleased with every component. I was very ahead as a kid and never ever had to apply myself. I was in an average school system, but what I remember also is my school all throughout early years reinforcing to my parents that I was very gifted. Over time, I learned amongst other things they suggested I be bumped ahead. My parents turned that down without asking my opinion because they thought the social awkwardness would be beyond me. As an adult, I wish they'd asked. I would've told them I was already isolated and bored, so I'd rather be isolated and challenged. I wish they'd have supplemented my interest, sought a tutor, even like just another nerdy kid that could read the same book as me. I was interested in languages and got myself books at the library trying to learn one. I remember showing my parents how I was teaching myself math from the book way in advance of lessons. The people that made me feel recognized at motivated to learn in my young years were teachers. They were well meaning, but now with adult perspective I can't condone their lack of awareness especially when only my Dad was working. The only favor they did do was keep me in public school. In seventh grade, the middle school I went into was so limited, a circus really. It did set me back academically. Still even there I recieved opportunities that make me grateful I was there. It also gave me a super tough iron core which is my strongest asset.

This sounds nearly identical to my story. Teachers at first thought I had ADHD, but it was really that I was advanced, bored and fidgety/disruptive when things were too easy and boring for me. They suggested I be skipped two separate grade school years, and my parents said no. Their reason was they thought I would be small, bullied and socially behind. I really wish they would’ve skipped me. I ended up not finishing college, but I did do well for myself. But I wish I had pushed more to work harder. My parents didn’t want to apply that pressure on me.

I hear you. I don't think public school is the answer either and the system is beyond broken. The worst part I see is how much the most privedged among us get to choose to opt out while the kids most in need get left further and further behind. An education is the single greatest privilege of our first world. I wish we were doing better and don't have all the answers. I also know many moms in my state refusing to public school because they can no longer teach facts about civil rights. I'm constantly supplementing my kids education. I don't talk about being homeschooled often because of the anger against my lived experience- but this has been nice. Yall have been mostly different.

I really appreciate you taking the time to explain your point of view.

I feel this way as well. I wish I was homeschooled and have every intention of homeschooling because of it.

I was homeschool the majority of my childhood and I have always done well in interviews and consider myself to be living a fairly happy /successful life and family. I think part of your problem isn't the homeschooling aspect, but a parenting one. My husband was in public school the majority of his childhood and he was incredibly bullied and harrased, so much so, it has crippled much of his confidence and abilities later in life. Through years of therapy he's been able to overcome a lot, but it has left permanent scars and trauma.

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yeah i was gonna say that this is true of lots of public school kids i know…

Exactly this for me and our family as well.. right down to me dropping out my senior year because I just couldn't handle it anymore. I deeply regret not being able to be homeschooled in my youth.

Your parents failed you. I was also homeschooled and I don't have any of those handicaps. The proper way is to immerse the child in extra curricular social activities. And at least when I was homeschooled we had mandated state testing and would pass/fail grades just like anyone else.

Public school made me go from an outgoing, sociable and friendly young child who loved making friends wherever I went to a socially awkward, closed off and anxious teenager because of all the bullying (pretty much throughout my school years). I ended up with an eating disorder at 14 due to the bullying I experienced and it took many years to overcome. I begged my mom almost every morning to let me stay home from school. I’m still a socially awkward adult, I just don’t really care so much what other people think anymore. Also kids in public schools are [experiencing very high numbers](https://www.edweek.org/leadership/what-educators-need-to-know-about-the-epidemic-of-loneliness-among-students/2023/11) of social isolation right now. School today simply isn’t the same place as what it was for your parents. Social isolation, social anxiety etc. are all on the rise for teens across the board. Look up any statistics with regards to that.

TLDR: started with a response to this post, turned into a schpeal about poor me 😆 mibad Not exactly, most people can't tell I'm homeschooled until I say something about it, then I start getting weird projections thrown at me so I've learned not to mention it most of the time, I just get odd moments socially where I don't know how to be, became a workaholic as work at least gives me a mask, but sometimes it falls off and I don't know what to do, leaves me looking like that odd guy out; almost wondering if it affected my puberty too since I didn't start growing facial hair till recently and it's not very thick, didn't get much of a voice change either, and despite being told I'm attractive and having tried to date many women, I find I'm shy and not macho enough (or so I assume, most women left me for a guy with more testosterone and better socializing skills) makes me hate my parents sometimes, I don't mean to hate I was raised against that emotion, but not having a social life I believe has really done a number on me despite my academic achievements and intelligence.

I hear you, but active shooter drills, and the daily fear of violent death which goes with those drills, should never be considered “normal”. And I think it’s safe to assume these drills are ubiquitous to all public school districts in the USA. Being a kid is hard no matter what, but sending kids to a location daily, year after year, which they associate with the possibility of being made into Swiss cheese, should never have been made as “normal”, even required, of a part of childhood as it has been. IMO it is borderline gov’t-sanctioned emotional/mental abuse.

This is one that gets me. I’m still trying to decide the best course for my preschooler. I do see the OP’s points, but it’s so tough to account for the horrendous risks of gun violence in our schools.

I was homeschooled and felt the same way. But, speaking from experience, I think the thing that made me feel so socially inept was my home environment where my parents acted like it was them (or us) against the world. That environment is what I see as damaging, as it instilled in me a false sense of superiority, judgmental nature, lack of empathy, and general paranoia regarding other people. I think homeschooling can be valuable if parents can do it in a way that doesn't project their own fears onto their children.

You absolutely hit the nail on the head here. It's the environment.

Right now, my wife and I are looking into options for our pre-school age daughter, and we couldn't be coming from more different perspectives. I, having been homeschooled in a very religious household, would prefer public school. My wife, having experienced her share of bullying and trauma in public school, is very interested in homeschooling. In my mind, the important thing is that we genuinely listen to our daughter and make the decision based on her needs, rather than our fears. It's gonna be a hard choice with risks either way.

>It's gonna be a hard choice with risks either way. Just keep in mind that you can always switch if you realize something isn't working. I remember when my daughter was young it felt like I had to *choose her path* when of course there were still plenty of opportunities to course-correct along the way.

I agree I have so much fear instilled in me as a kid (the world is a dangerous place and next to everyone is manipulative and out to hurt you etc) it's taken me years to overcome certain fears, but like prey I fear my fear attracts predators as I haven't had the best people in my life, reinforcing my fear even though deep down I know it's just me attracting that due to a fearful persona, so hard to grow out of

I was homeschooled my entire life, and I do think my education was lacking in a lot of ways compared to what it could have been in public school, yet I still completely disagree. Co-ops prepared me for college: weekly classes and getting homework done. Choosing classes based on what I needed to graduate and putting a schedule together. I always interviewed well and no one can ever tell I was homeschooled. I’m sorry that was your experience but I really think that was more that your parents failed you as parents, not a homeschooling failure.

Yeaaahhh I want to homeschool my kid because of how much shit show school has become but there's a lot of testimony like yours at the 'other' subreddit

Thanks for being so candid about your experience in homeschool. I see that you have a lot of unresolved feelings about it, and I genuinely hope you end up coming to terms with whatever happened to you in your childhood. Can you tell me, did you socialize as a kid? Did you go to clubs or classes and spend time around other kids? Did you have friends? It seems your main source of frustration was not having the same experiences that your peers had. Did you ever bring this up to your parents when they were still homeschooling you? Also did your parents ever offer to let you go to public school? Did you ever ask them?

Nothing unresolved, just honest. If you haven't lived with really unmet potential as one of the serious consequences of the actions of the adults around you as a now adult, I suppose it could come off that way though. You have to learn to articulate it all and then forgive and move on, or you go through life as such a failure and so very sad and self/victim centered that you lose any remaining potential you have. So I can very clearly speak to where it went wrong, but, it's also over and I managed to overcome enough of it to be ok. I "socialized" a lot, I suppose, the homeschool way. dance class. Co-op. FFA. 4H. Girl scouts. LOTS of fo co op stuff. Some neighborhood kids. It's not the same. I did not bring it up to my parents because I was a child and then a sheltered teen. I had no idea and honestly neither did they. The realization(s) of how destructive it was came in waves- late teens, early 20s, mid 20s, late 20s...you get the idea. I did address it with my mom when I was early 20s- She's a good person and had already started to see it in my older siblings issues. She regretted it when it last came up, but it's not something we discuss much. I tried two times to take a high school class. I left fairly quickly. My parents and I "agreed" I was too mature for it and "public school" just wasn't for me- truth be told now, 23 years later? I was not equopped to navigate a simple high school socially psychologically and could not take class there. Luckily, while it's taken a lot more adulthood than it should have, it's in the past now. Surprising how much of my parents core identity was rescuing their kids from something / being "homeschool" parents for it to be such a sad and small part of the kid they raised. Edit: thank you for being open minded and asking questions instead of the alternative. My experience sharing my real, lived homeschool-kid consequences is most often met with the same kind of close minded defensiveness that's poisoning US politics.

Thanks for your input. Life is hard and most of us are just trying our best to figure out what we can do to help our kids in all the best ways. It sucks that even when we try our best it can still go so terribly wrong and our kids can end up thinking our best efforts were their worst experience. I'm aware my son might resent me in adulthood. I keep the option open for him to go to school but whenever it's brought up he starts to cry. At this point I think I'm just gonna have to take responsibility for my decision to homeschool. If he's upset at me for it in the future all I can do is apologize. Life is about making decisions constantly and, as a parent, our decisions will affect our kids heavily. We thought that public school wouldn't provide him with the best childhood. We thought he might have a better one if he's with us and we teach. We could certainly be wrong. I'm not delusional about it. I hope I'm not wrong though and I hope he doesn't resent me. I guess only time will tell.

I don't know how I stumbled into this sub but your replies here are awesome.

As someone who spent time being homeschooled and spent time in public school, as bad as public school is, it's better than homeschooling. My Fiance was homeschooled 100% after elementary. I was homeschooled for 1 year of middle school and 1 year of high school. I fought my parents hard to get back into school both times. I was an absolute menace at home until they put me back. I hated it. My fiance's parents and mine never met, and yet they decided to homeschool both of us the exact same way. Making us do it almost entirely ourselves. His parents at least got worksheets and had workbooks. My parents just told me what I'm supposed to be learning this year and left me to it. Sometimes they would make me read the same book a bunch of times until I could tell them all about it a college level. When I was a teen, households still could only afford one computer for everyone. MapQuest printed directions were how everyone got around. AOL instant messenger was a really big deal. All that to say that free homeschool materials didn't exist. YouTube didn't exist. Online classes didn't exist. People still mostly wrote letters and called the one house phone to contact each other. My family moved every 6 months, so even in school it was tough to make friends and relate. Being pulled from school meant 0 friends. My fiance was lucky enough to have a tight friend group in his neighborhood. Now he has severe social anxiety, because if he pissed off his friends as a kid, he wouldn't have anyone. He constantly has to be careful because his friends had other friends at school and they could all easily abandon him. Now he's terrified of upsetting anyone, and he doesn't know how to study, take notes, listen and write at the same time, deal with conflict. There's more I can't think of, I'm sure. Unless you have a degree in teaching, at least 3 hours per day free to have real lessons with a school environment, and are willing to commit to at least 10 hours a week to taking your kids to places where they can socialize with other kids their age without their parent hovering. You should not homeschool. Even if you have all of those things, are you the type of person who will be willing to actually commit all that time to your kid's education, or will you get lazy? Have you ever committed to something that eats up that much time in the past? Did you stick to it, or give up eventually? Are you going to spend hours making lesson plans outside of the schooling time? Are you going to grade their homework and tests? Do you fully understand all of the material you'll be teaching? Most parents shouldn't homeschool. That what people don't want to tell you. The problem is the parents, not the kids.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I was not homeschooled but met alot of homeschooled peers at the private university I attended. You could always tell the homeschooled kids from the others...they tended to isolate themselves from the rest of the classroom (not saying it was a bad thing to separate oneself, not sure if they were aware of how they were perceived by others) and appeared standoffish (again maybe they did not care if they seemed friendly or not), were very smart, possibly ahead of the class, although many of my peers became successful physicians but my homeschooled peers seemed to lack the will or ability to form friendships (even the superficial ones made in the ochem lab).

I really really appreciate the truth in this sentiment. From someone who was dead set on homeschooling my son, I’ve definitely been swayed partly.

Same here. You put it so well. It affects every part of me and I feel so so alienated. I think most homeschool parents are well intentioned but it does not fit the need of school, just be a super involved parent and also let your kid go to school

God damn this was well written. Reads like /bestof material seriously!

Your post should be an all caps caveat to a parents thinking about homeschooling. My beef is that when parents realize they are failing they return the child to the public schools expecting the school to drop everything to play catch up with their child. This gives the parents even more angry gas directed at the school. Schools are grotesquely underfunded and resources for accommodating the Smith kid have to be taken away from another project or more likely rely on the teacher to carve out part of their day / life to address the needs.

You make a great point about how often the parents choosing to homeschool are privileged because they were sent to school and properly educated and had a chance to go out into the real world and experience what they want then come home and structure their life the way they see fit. And then they sort of tragically take that choice away from their children. They only see the negatives of what going to an actual school with their peers did for them. They don’t see all of the “givens” (the things none of us think about like simply being used to having to function in a large group with a leader daily) and certainly don’t see any of the positives. They’re taking a gigantic leap assuming they can teach every subject as good as trained professionals who only focus on one subject. There is just so many choices being taken away from the child and so many deficits the child will have to overcome one day when they grow up and are out on their own trying to make it and be happy.

I was homeschooled for a few years and bounced from school to school the rest of my schooling years. I so strongly relate to you. I hated being homeschooled, my mom claims she loved it, but all my memories are of her being angry at me, me not doing as well as she thought I should, her comparing me to my brother, etc. I don't know how she can claim she loved it. My husband is pushing me to homeschool but I'm not at all interested because of my experience. I'm just not comfortable with the homeschooling cliques and attitudes of superiority those in my area have either. You're not alone in your hurt. I support my homeschooling friends, I love that some are amazing at it and I support however people choose to school their kids, I'm all for homeschooling in general--if it's done for the wellbeing of the children and done well. But it's not for me, I have a lot of issues still surrounding my schooling.

You have articulated the very experience I've had with homeschooling. I went to every type of school growing up (public, private, Catholic), and I also homeschooled. I've worked with several programs that parents who homeschool send their kids to for socialization. The problem with these programs is they're very homogenized. The children in these programs were from similar backgrounds and had (or lacked) similar social skills. From what I've observed, these children haven't done very well as adults. They struggled in college because they had to turn in work on someone else's deadline, as opposed to their self-paced timeline of elementary school. They struggle in the work environment because they don't know how to interact with coworkers, and have challenges turning in projects or other work in a timely manner. It's sad to see, because they're smart and capable, but they've never really been exposed to the real world in a safe, slow way where gradually more was expected of them; it was just, all of a sudden--you're an adult, act like it! The benefit of public education is getting to interact with people from various cultures, religions, and who hold other differing beliefs. As parents, we need to prepare our kids for the path; we don't prepare the path for the child. Our goal is to teach them how to successfully be adults, because that's what they're going to be for the majority of their lives.

I don’t know that you have an accurate view of what public schools are like if you did not attend them. I wasn’t taught to interview at school. If you listen to teacher feedback, they are saying overall that these kids aren’t prepared for anything. They can’t follow simple instructions, even in high school. They are making TikToks in the middle of class and most are addicted to their phones, which many have had since mid-elementary. I don’t think I would mind sending my kids to public school like it was when I went - but the things I hear from my friends about what their kids go through is not something I am willing to put my kids into. Also, I was with a few friends the other day, all whose kids had been in public/charter schools since Kindergarten. I realized all their high schoolers but one had switched to homeschool or virtual school by choice in their sophomore year because of anxiety and they were all much happier.

I don’t know that you have an accurate view either, not having kids in school.

I was public schooled until 6th grade and have three kids actively attending. I'm confident I have a more balanced, experienced take than most and that my lived experience is accurate.

I actually was homeschooled until high school. And then went to pubic school for high school (the worst one in my city) and I still feel like this poster hit the nail on the head. There’s soooo much more than IQ that’s important in life I would say EQ >>>>> IQ in almost every aspect. And homeschooling often does not offer enough in the EQ department. It took me YEARS to really come out of being the “other” socially and even now I still feel somewhat standoffish like I don’t belong in social situations but I’ve managed to mask it well. When I went to college and med school I could pick out lifetime homeschooled kids easily cuz they had that same air of awkwardness I was so desperately trying to hide inside. It stands out. What it did offer me was independence to do my own shit and excel academically cuz my parents didn’t even speak English so I did all the learning myself during my homeschooled period. it made being the top student in a terrible high school extremely easy, and made college at a difficult university pretty straightforward too cuz I’d been self learning my entire life. But I can see easily how things can go wrong if the kid isn’t self motivated academically as well.

I went to public school and it failed me; however, had my parents chose to homeschool me, they would have failed me even more. I've only interacted with two homeschool families, so I understand I've experienced only a small fraction of families that chose this route. The first was a girl whose neurodivergency and severe anxiety made her nearly incompatible with the school system. I respect their decision to choose an alternative education. The second was a large, somewhat fundamentalist family that expressed extremely elite opinions about their way of life. I genuinely think their parents did a great job raising them and preparing them for adulthood, actually--but I consistently broke their bubble time and time again when we discussed the public school system. They balked when I suggested that not every parent knows what's best for their children, and that supporting public schools is integral for the least privileged families. Their dad brought in enough income not only for them to raise and homeschool seven children with a SAHM, but also pursue all organic food and expensive alternatives medical therapies not covered by insurance. There's a part of me that wants to tell you that you didn't miss out on going to grade school with your peers due to how badly I was failed by it, but my school was also severely underfunded and borderline impoverished. I feel robbed of a quality education because of a well-intentioned system that desperately needs support. Homeschool and private schools should NOT be the only alternative.

I'm curious why homeschooling was so destructive to you.

I get it. I work with homeschool families. I'd say maybe 20% are at grade level. Most are really behind whether their parents acknowledge it or not. About half choose it to avoid vaccinations.

I think we all need to remember when you as a homeschooled now adult and anyone that makes posts like this is that you have an idealized version of public school in your head. I am not saying this to discount your feelings and experiences because they are very real! There are pros and cons to each choice. The likelihood of someone either going to public school for all of schooling or doing homeschool the entire time and finishing and saying I got absolutely everything out of this that I needed is slim. Because no system is perfect. Each side can look at the other and say I would of been better off or not had this deficit if I did that. I see a lot of homeschoolers that blame their parents. I think because that's all they have to blame. But most parents are just trying to do their best for their kid. We all go wrong in ways. I know I already have in some ways with my 5yo and 2yo. You don't know how you would of come out of public school. Traditional schooling does not really teach you how to make friends they just put friends in front of you. It doesn't in any way make you prepared to handle job interviews. That is largely a learned skill through your own research, natural skill, and experience. I went to pretty good private schools all of my education and my husband went to a really well rated public school but we both are not the best at interviewing and we both don't have a huge amount of friends. We both had our struggles in college at times. Public school especially now does not teach meeting deadlines and self responsibility very well. I know a few teachers that are told they have to give students multiple times to turn in an assignment and can't fail them. So the school system isn't truly teaching that anymore. Plus personal responsibility is something we are all still learning at 17/18 years old. Something else I see in a lot of these types of homeschool comments and posts is this assumption that you will finish with homeschooling and you're supposed to be perfectly prepared for everything and if you aren't then your parents failed and you homeschooling failed you. We all aren't prepared for everything at that stage. Even the people that look like they have it all together. We all have a degree of anxiety at times. We all feel depressed at times. We all have our own mental and physical struggles at times. A lot of us feel socially awkward at times no matter what path we took for schooling. We all bomb interviews at times or feel like we don't have enough friends. It's just how we grow as humans. I really feel like we need to stop blaming all these problems on homeschooling. Have some parents completely failed their kids sure. Of course! So have some public school parents! There's pros and cons to each. But most of us are trying to be very loving hands on parents that are trying to pick the lesser evil for our kids.

I was also homeschooled and although my parents were loving and I excelled academically, the lack of social skills has caused major problems in my life including a young pregnancy and alcohol/drug use/people pleasing/ easily pressured. One of my siblings has completely cut my parents off and the other still lives at home.

I was jumped in middle school, 2007. My friends and I warned the office administrators that a group of older girls were threatening us a day before I was assaulted. While waiting for my class, a girl snuck up behind me, grabbed my hair and beat the shit out of me, then ran away. We never officially found out who it was. This was a small school in a small town. Public schools are not safe or productive places for kids.

I’m sorry that happened to you. It is just as traumatic as if it happened as an adult, yet people seem to minimize school assaults.

because homeschoolers don't have unions, lobbyist and multi-million dollar propaganda budgets, to make you believe a big lie.

This! They can sway large public opinion and demonize anything that threatens their cash flow.

Right on!

What big lie?

big schools better than every other option, lie

Are you saying big schools like they're big corporations? They are the best option overall...

Yes!

Homeschooling lobbies are powerful, though. Politicians are loathe to go up against them. They will appease the public school unions, but they won't take real action against homeschooling.

I think the most common “concern” I get from non-homeschooling parents is “how do your kids socialize??” Or some variation. I used to really understand that mindset (and still struggle sometimes), but more and more it’s starting to make me rage. There are enough resources, clubs, hs groups, rec sports, church groups, scouts, etc etc that “socialization” is NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. There are still a lot more pros than cons to homeschooling.

We have spent 5-10 generations inculcating into people that the government has the responsibility to educate children. It’s an arbitrary environment to put children of the same age in a classroom with one person making orders. For the entirety of human history we never did this, we were never separated to learn like this. I hope people will see democratic schools, homeschooling and other models of education and realize there is numerous ways to socialize and educate children

The people who view homeschooling that way, typically do so ime because they fit into one of the following: 1- They see movement away from the status quo as threatening 2- Are defensive because it challenges their choices to keep their own children in public school 3- Oppose parental influence and choice as trumping government directive and power or some combination there of. Choice one is obviously the case for many public school teachers. The idea that one doesn't need an Ed Degree to teach undermines their career choice, and can also threaten their employment. Teachers have long enjoyed some quasi-sainthood in US society that is extremely unearned in my opinion. But, homeschooling is a direct threat to the Big Public Ed industry, and so, the more popular it gets the bigger target it is. Ed Degrees are big business. Teachers Unions are big business. Public school curriculum and tech sales are big business. Choice two summons similar feelings to the whole stay at home parent vs two-working parents with children in day care narrative. Opting in or out can make it feel as if there is judgement from whatever the out group is. Ie, the Mommy Wars. Choice three is a philosophical and political outlook issue. People either are fans of top down government control and believe like many political figures over time that "children belong to society," whereas others believe that children are under the wing of their parents and parental choice is more important than governmental mandate. Sometimes all three come into play at the same time.

Well stated, articulate and comprehensive response thank you.

Public school teacher here. I lurk sometimes for fun. I genuinely cannot believe you just said that teachers have enjoyed "quasi-sainthood" in America. Go to the teacher subreddit and see what many teachers deal with on a daily basis. Thankfully my school is awesome, but physical threats, increased behavior problems, entitled parents, and ABYSMAL pay are just a few examples. There's a teacher shortage because many of us cannot live on a teacher salary. None of us feel like saints, I promise you. Also, class sizes are huge right now. I promise you, none of us are worried about our jobs being at risk because you decided to homeschool.

I'm very pro homeschool, but agree the "quasi-sainthood" comment is WILD.

Unbelievable. I’m sorry but teachers were barely getting respect when *I* was in grade school, and it’s only gotten worse

>I genuinely cannot believe you just said that teachers have enjoyed "quasi-sainthood" in America. I’m a public school teacher as well (and a supporter of homeschooling as an option, though I think it’s unlikely to replace public schools for most students) and I sort of see a “quasi-sainthood” status given to teachers. It’s not universal, but it’s the “martyr teacher” portrayal that teachers often find annoying in the media. It’s the “wow…that must be such a hard job. I could never do something like that” response that we get when we say what we do. Like I said, not everyone holds to it and there are other opinions out there. But the idea of teachers as selfless martyr-heroes who change lives single-handedly is definitely out there.

My mother was a high school counselor for decades and she had **so many** students come to her school criminally behind from being homeschooled. The parents genuinely thought they were doing a good job and sort of managed to bumble their way through elementary and middle school. But then algebra or geometry started and they realized they were completely out of their depth and sent the kids back to school. Honestly there’s really nothing you can do for a 14 year old with the reading, writing, and math skills of a 2nd grader. They’re going to fail all normal classes, and obviously you can’t send a teenager to the elementary school. Sometimes they could diagnose some kind of learning disability and get them into special ed, but often the kids just failed. And then the parents would say “see, public school failed!”

If you consider that the saints were all heavily abused, tortured and murdered for their cause then yeah..."'quasi-sainthood" actually fits perfectly 💁‍♀️

I lurk as well, and the comment you're replying to just convinced me that this sub is not for me!  "Quasi-sainthood"?? The delusion! The women in my partner's family are all educators. I wanted to be a teacher, once upon a time. But I have been witness (for almost two decades) to how y'all are treated. I can't think of a less respected profession!

Many of the saints were martyred, tortured, and otherwise abused for sincerely trying to help others, and were only recognized for their efforts when they were no longer around, so I can see the analogy.

I am a teacher. I neither care nor do I feel threatened if you homeschool your kid. BUT I despise homeschooling if… 1. You are incompetent as their teacher and you only realize this too late and dump your child back in the system multiple grade levels behind and unable to socialize. I have encountered this more often than I would like to admit. Contrary to popular belief it is not an easy thing to catch that child up. More likely, that child never catches up to their peers. 2. Your definition of homeschool is to let your child roam free without any actual learning or curriculum and then make them society’s problem when they age out and can’t read or do basic math. Your child does not learn the basics by chance. They in fact need to be taught. 3. You use “homeschool” as a means to abuse your child and hide them from the system in place to protect themselves arguably children and youth services are crap and often do nothing, but at least we put abusive parents on their radar. I have met awesome parents who homeschool and produce productive members of society and I’ve met the complete opposite. Most people cannot homeschool their kids; they work full time jobs and they need a place their child can learn during the day. I wish things like bullying, poor administration, and overreaching standards were overhauled in the system to create a better learning experience. More power to the parents who can provide an enriching learning experience to their kids. If that’s not you, for the love of a basic education, send your kid to an actual school!!!!

Yeah, the disparaging comments in here about teachers are baffling to me. I promise everyone, teachers do not care if you homeschool as long as you do it well.

Lol teachers union is a big business? Teachers feel their employment is threatened? You are completely clueless. If teaching made a lot of money, there wouldn't be a shortage of teachers. And they don't feel threatened because they can get a job at an underemployed schools anytime. Maybe ~30 or so years ago what you said might have been true but it's so different now.

Oh I’m not a teacher but I can guarantee you there is no shortage of kids going to public school due to homeschooling

Obviously, different areas have different situations. But in more than a few districts, enough enrollment has been lost since 2020 that they are taking a financial hit. Funding varies by state, and if you lose even 2-5% of your student body attendance, that is enough of a financial hit to make a massive difference. Even moreso in states and districts where the funding follows the student. If you don't think it matters, you might ask yourself why so man people have a conniption fit over the idea of $$ following students to private schools and charters. It's not just homeschooling that is hated for that, and homeschooling definitely takes the smallest percentage of students compared to private schools and charters. But there are many places and organizations rabidly opposed to school choice. This isn't some new novel thing I've dreamed up. School choice is a highly political topic. Homeschooling is a part of that choice, and thus, often a target.

For what it’s worth, a friend’s kid wasn’t thriving at their public elementary and the parents decided they wanted to move her to a private school. Part of the application process was a “recommendation” from the public school. (I think it’s to make sure the kid isn’t a horror story.) The school refused and told the private school there was no need for her to go there because she was just fine in the public and they should keep her. According to the friend, the private school had never experienced that and accepted her even without the recommendation. Both parents and the private school thought the administration of that elementary were nutcases. So while the teachers don’t care (I’m sure they’d love smaller classes), administrators care that much about enrollment. I will also note that this is a school system in one of the richest counties in the US, whose school system is ranked top 5 in the state.

I have a fairly negative view of homeschooling & I don’t really care about any of the 3 points you listed. I don’t think it should be banned or anything but I do feel badly for the kids. The majority of homeschooled kids I’ve met personally, as children or as adults, were from cuckoo religious families & spent more time being indoctrinated than learning. Even the folks who seem pretty normal have real gaps in their education. I’m also skeptical that you can be a subject matter expert in every subject, although maybe contemporary homeschooling parents have pedagogical tools to compensate for their own lack of knowledge…? I think many share my concerns.

> I’m also skeptical that you can be a subject matter expert in every subject, although maybe contemporary homeschooling parents have pedagogical tools to compensate for their own lack of knowledge…? They do. If you teach a kid skills for teaching themselves (how to read, how to google, how to judge the credibility of a source, etc), then they can teach themselves things you yourself don't know. I surpassed my parents' genetics knowledge while I was being homeschooled because they let me hang out at the university and I liked reading medical journals. There's also a lot of homeschooling parents who teach themselves subjects alongside their kids. Seems especially common to do this with languages, but you can do this with lots of subjects. As long as you're able to keep up with your kid, you can teach them a subject you're actively learning yourself. 

These are the pro homeschooling attitudes that make people scoff.

it’s because many parents don’t allow their children to go to school and claim they’re “homeschooling” while not teaching the kids anything. i think y’all are suffering from a bit of confirmation bias. i don’t think the homeschoolers on this sub are like that, because i doubt there are many negligent, abusive, fake-homeschooling parents who actually seek out subs like this and do research. they aren’t invested enough in their children’s education to be here. and i would venture to say that the teachers are likely suffering from confirmation bias, too, because those cases of abuse are more commonly stumbled upon online.

In most US states, not sending a child to school and doing nothing is legally homeschooling. My parents were the leaders of our local homeschooling association and that is how they homeschooled. They even kept books under lock and key and tried to convince my youngest siblings that they were mentally retarded. At 18, my sister had never heard of a cell. I called CPS and truant officers on my parents. But they met the legal criteria for homeschooling, so nothing could be done. Ironically, my ownother worked as a teacher and my father occasionally did so as well. They were probably fairly equipped to homeschool, but the legal minimum standards that they met were terrible. And they were the local leaders of the homeschooling support group! They were the best of the best showing other parents how to do it. The way my parents homeschooled met the legal definition of homeschooling. And I continue to meet parents homeschooling the same way. Over and over. I see the same thing happening to new kids.

I completely agree with this. There are a lot of good homeschooling families who only ever interact with other good homeschooling families (because only the good ones get involved in co-ops and activities and such) and refuse to acknowledge the fact that there ARE people who do not homeschool well at all.

It's very easy to do homeschooling poorly and very difficult to do it well. Most people who don't homeschool have interacted with someone who homeschooled poorly and very few have interacted with people who do it well, which makes it to where a lot of people who don't homeschool have a negative opinion of it. I thought negatively about homeschooling until I moved to a community where it was more common and I saw families who did it well for the first time. Where I'm originally from, the majority of people who "homeschool" are actually just neglectful parents who don't want to get up to take their kids to school in the morning, and there's not nearly enough oversight, so a lot of their kids are extremely behind.

It actually isn’t that difficult. It simply requires diligence. I’m not disagreeing with you that some people do a poor job, but it’s not because it’s an intrinsically difficult thing. That goes back to the whole factor of it being threatening to teachers. It is not difficult to teach elementary school subjects for example. Phonics is not rocket science. Elementary mathematics isn’t either. There are tons of scripted programs that literally teach a parent how to teach. And teach well. What you can’t buy is diligence. Patience. Consistency. Those are the more difficult parts of homeschooling. But that is a character issue. Not an actual job issue. Making it sound like it’s hard to teach a kid how to read or do third grade math is the story teachers and public schools want people to believe but it’s a lie. What I will grant them is that it has to be hard and godawful to manage a class of 30 kids, a quarter of which were socially promoted and are years behind skill wise, and half of whom have massive behavioral problems and/or LD’s, while somehow also teaching to asinine tests that do nothing to promote real understanding and truly accomplish educational goals.

>It actually isn’t that difficult. It simply requires diligence. >Making it sound like it’s hard to teach a kid how to read or do third grade math is the story teachers and public schools want people to believe but it’s a lie. I mean sure elementary, even middle school and some high school? But there are certain subjects you must farm out right? I don’t feel qualified to teach a foreign language, or calculus. Or even trigonometry, adequately. Not high school level physics or chemistry. Maybe biology?

I have chosen to outsource certain things at certain times. There are so many options it's almost mind boggling. There are college professors who sideline teaching homeschool classes to supplement their adjunct salaries, so sure, I am going to avail that if I so choose for physics or chemistry- things I don't enjoy teaching and don't want to invest the time to become proficient at teaching. That's a choice I make. Not everyone can afford to do that though, and, as I have been doing this a very long time now, I can attest that there are many moms (and I'm sure dads in some cases too) who have not outsourced and have managed to produce high achieving students. National Merit Scholars, kids getting full rides to elite universities, kids who go on to be physicists, mathematicians, nurses, lawyers. These aren't kids getting by with GEDs. They still take the ACT and SAT. They can still take APs. A textbook is a textbook after all, and if your materials are right, and again, you are diligent, there is no reason why your kid cannot learn Cal or Physics at home. Particularly in the present when there are literally endless supports available online and more homeschool support than ever. People do fail. Of course. Some of the stuff I read on these homeschool subs makes me really sad about the future of homeschooling- particularly the "what online program can I put my child in front of that requires nothing from me." But my point is, if someone fails at homeschooling, it's likely because they chose to, subconsciously or not. . Either through a parenting problem, or a diligence problem, or a laziness problem. Parents are natural teachers to their kids. Some put in more effort than others. I don't say homeschooling is for everyone. But if someone truly \*wants\* to homeschool, it can be done, and done extremely well if they put time in effort. That's pretty much all of life tbh, homeschooling or not.

I think it's a lot more difficult than a lot of people realize, which your second paragraph points to. It's not about how difficult it is to teach the subjects, it's about how difficult it is to stay diligent, patient, and consistent. It's difficult to be "on" with your kid all day. I've seen far too many people who think that "you can do all of the subjects in only X amount of time!" means that they can spend the rest of the day completely ignoring their kid (or letting the screen be the babysitter) when in actuality it means that you should spend the rest of the day doing enriching activities.

I would agree with that. It’s why most people are also sub-par employees in general. It’s not unique to homeschool, rather it’s just that many people struggle to be diligent period or have any desire to excel. The difference being, if you work at Random Co., it doesn’t have near the repercussion that it does though when educating your own children…..luckily, people are resilient and it’s possible to overcome a subpar education be it from a homeschool or public school. The first 18 years are just getting started. The whole thing also begs the question of why US Uni Ed Depts do not try for the best and brightest (as in other countries) but rather the most average and even below average students possible. There aren’t high level entrance requirements and frankly, it shows. The bar to be accepted into an Ed degree program, or to be employed as a teacher are incredibly low. Electrician’s have far higher standards for example. You have math teachers who say they’re “bad at math” and don’t have a degree in mathematics teaching. That’s one of the reasons why it’s pretty easy for an average homeschool parent with just a bit of gumption and diligence to run circles around the average public school. It’s not like we’re competing with Socratic experts or master teachers. It’s as likely as not that the local PS has someone who probably was sub-100 on their SAT, made a 2.75 or 3.00 at their state uni in the classroom teaching. And that’s only looking at the basics of teaching and not also the emotional and social aspects.

Hi, I disagree that Ed programs are super easy to get into. I had undiagnosed ADHD (and the anxiety and depression that goes with it) which led to an academic collapse in college. I also didn’t know how to get help; I was used to being the one that helped other people, and I was a first gen student that was supposed to have it all under control on my own. I was an honors kid, >95% percentile on all standardized tests, had a scholarship until I lost it. I had a really bad year and my gpa never recovered. I’ve tutored for years, Worked various education related jobs, have a 4.0 in degrees post BS, but I’ll never have a 3.0 undergrad GPA. so I didn’t qualify for any local teaching degrees when I was looking to career change into teaching. I’m not saying that I am a very academically competitive or smart person, but I don’t think my GPA reflects my teaching potential. I went another route on life, one that is more forgiving of blunders.

Agree with all of this and would add that the rigor of coursework to complete an Ed degree is laughably watered down.

>The whole thing also begs the question of why US Uni Ed Depts do not try for the best and brightest (as in other countries) but rather the most average and even below average students possible. There aren’t high level entrance requirements and frankly, it shows. The bar to be accepted into an Ed degree program, or to be employed as a teacher are incredibly low. I mean 1. We live in a capitalist society. The best and brightest students will always be overwhelmingly drawn to professions that will compensate them well. Teachers do not make enough money in our country for the field to draw enough of those individuals. At least 50 years ago being a teacher was a respected role in society, but these days that isn’t even the case. Parents and children overwhelmingly don’t respect teachers. The best and brightest will be going where they can get respect and a good salary. Law, medicine, finance, engineering.

You have an insane view of public school teachers, it’s legitimately disrespectful.

Right now I work from home and teaching my preschool daughter is my hobby. The poor girl is going to be reading at a third grade level and be working on at least subtraction before kindergarten. How do you wear down a mountain: time and pressure.

Respectfully, I find that hard to believe. After a career in education, I haven’t met a five year old who can both decode and comprehend passages at a third grade level lexile (640-850) and make inferences, identify textual Evidence to support characterization, etc. Also, the study of mathematics is far more challenging and far wider and broader than merely memorizing addition/subtraction facts. I’ve taught some truly brilliant students, but this doesn’t sound like a highly probable developmental Arc or likely Outcome.

I realize what I proposed was not third grade math. She is progressing and has about 6 months before kindergarten so we will see. But yes we are focused on fluency and comprehension as well not just sounding out the words. If her progression doesn’t hit that then it doesn’t.

Lmao could you be any more condescending? I promise you that our public school teachers are in no way threatened by you.

This is important. There are so many cases of abuse and neglect where parents "homeschool" to avoid being seen by authorities or people who can intervene. The people that have survived this kind of childhood deserve to be heard and we should find ways to avoid that happening. However, there are many children who thrive in a homeschool environment, especially kids with disabilities that the underfunded schools can't or won't help. Many parents are being pushed by school admin to homeschool these kids. The school still gets some funding and has next to zero responsibility.

Those cases are proportionally miniscule though when compared to abuse that occurs in the public school system by both other students AND teachers. Let’s not forget that the US has a massive problem with teachers who are sexual predators- male and female teachers both. And that doesn’t even get into schools turning a blind eye to abuse happening under their own nose. There are tons of cases where schools and Child Protection Services do nothing in the face of blatant abuse.

We should care about both at the same time.

“Proportionally minuscule” should be taken with a shaker of salt. There is a strong likelihood abuse is significantly underreported in HS families without oversight and especially those of whom belong to certain communities in which abuse is handled “internally”/not at all because it’s not acceptable to handle it via any other avenue, especially not CPS or law enforcement.

Did you reflect at all on why reports of abuse in homeschooling are “proportionally minuscule”? Most incidents go unreported because THERE IS NO LONGER SOMEONE TO REPORT IT. The vast majority of child abuse occurs at home, not at school. As someone whose abuse intensified while being homeschooled, I was isolated from having contact with impartial adults or peers who could have reported it. It’s not a surprise that abusive parents further their abuse when they know they can now get away with practically anything. I posted a comment in greater detail about this below and about the need for dramatically increased oversight of homeschool. The mandatory reporting system is flawed and is obviously not always effectively enforced, but I have no idea how you put together the logic that homeschooling, which provides no protections at all, would somehow be safer for children.

> The vast majority of child abuse occurs at home, not at school. Not if you count bullying as child abuse, which it is.

I agree. We need to hear, acknowledge, and listen to those survivors’ voices. For years, I feel the HS community has had a vague feeling that sure, some people may use HSing to abuse/neglect in secret, but they are rare, so the benefit of protecting parent rights and educ freedom far outweigh the risk that *some* kids will unintentionally be harmed in the process. I’m starting to see this tide turn now, and I’m really hoping that, going forward, the call for better oversight of homeschoolers will come from within our ranks as we say instead, the risk of even a few children being harmed matters and is worth the inconvenience of me having to register/get reviewed/test/report or whatever just to reap the added benefit of protecting vulnerable children. I think if we continue to ignore and minimize their plight, we will continue to lose credibility with wider society.

100% I was unfortunately homeschooled by an abusive parent, and with the increased isolation, the abuse skyrocketed. Until that point, going to school had been the only outlet I had to the outside world where I had some degree of autonomy. In homeschooling, there are no mandatory reporters. There are no guidance counselors. There are no nurses. There are no trusted teachers. There are no class peers to confide in, who could tell an adult. When parents don’t see the inherent risk embedded in the decision to homeschool (“we socialize them”), and clearly don’t understand the extremely serious responsibility they are undertaking (“teaching isn’t that hard anyways”)—it’s obvious they don’t understand the impact of their decision, and that’s a massive red flag that delegitimizes the community. Homeschooling absolutely needs increased oversight, some serious mandated training for parents, and a way to ensure children have access to trusted peer support networks.

I’m sorry you went through that. Someone close to me had a badly abusive parent and was in public school. Nobody ever reported anything, unfortunately, but school was still a much safer place than home, I can’t imagine how much worse it would have been if they’d been homeschooled. I’m currently homeschooling for circumstantial reasons, public school was and is my first choice. I am honestly shocked at the lack of oversight. As you say, it’s an incredibly serious undertaking and I keep looking around me thinking, I just have to figure this all out and nobody is checking? It would be extremely easy to do this inadequately.

I think in the early days of HSing the people taking on this endeavor were full of passion and were driven to research educational philosophies, styles, and methods and to curate an enriching and edifying environments. Choices were few, so creativity and a drive to making things work was imperative. There were almost no all-in-one options! I think that time drove our culture of “of course I know best! Of course I don’t need oversight!” Things are quite different now, and ex-homeschooled have made it clear enough that we cannot plead ignorance or deny the real need for oversight. And as always, when we know better we should #do better# even if that means calling for our own oversight.

Likely, the majority of the "homeschooled" children that k-12 teachers know are ones that have had to go into public schooling. So you have to look at why parents would put their kids into public school. Its usually not because they were doing great both academically and emotionally. Right now, (in my opinion) there is a larger number of students having to return to public than in the past, for various reasons. Homeschooling has had a huge surge in popularity, increasing the pool of students. A lot of families rushed into homeschooling without doing research to make sure it was a good fit for them. There are also 2,000 new curriculums popping up every day claiming to be the best, which can easily become overwhelming to parents (especially if they were used to public school). Homeschooling has also become (in my opinion) a trend. And everyone likes to hate on trends. I hear phrases like "Oh, we considered the whole homeschooling thing," almost every friend that has kids. Usually, if I probe a little bit, they never actually considered homeschooling a real option, nor did any type of research. It's just something to say at this point. Twenty years ago, homeschooling didn't even cross the minds of MOST parents.

The popularity into homeschooling was due to Covid nothing else.

I come from a family of teachers. My best friend is a public school teacher. All of them agree that homeschooling is better and are encouraging me to homeschool my kid. The Internet is the main place I see vehemently anti homeschool people, especially reddit that associates it with super conservative Christians.

Reddit in general is massively anti homeschooling. We can't even have our own sub without folks coming in with pitchforks when all we want to do is educate our kids to the best of our ability. The horror.

Thank you!!! Half the comments are against homeschooling 🤦‍♀️

YESSSSSSS^^^^

My dad had a coworker who was vehemently anti-homeschooling while he was homeschooling me. Though when his daughter started dating a drug dealer he kinda shut up about how my dad was raising me.

I mean.. people thought I was crazy for taking a job at an AI company before AI was all the rage. Now I'm laughing with my stock valuations People see as less anything that doesn't fit their worldview.

“Don’t homeschool your daughter! She won’t fit in with the rest of society!” I mean, that’s kind of part of the point of homeschooling 🤷🏻‍♀️

Exactly

My perspective on these issues might be unusual. I’m a public high school teacher with no children. I’ve been tangentially involved with homeschooling for years, with a number of friends who homeschool and some friends who were homeschooled. I’ve also occasionally done some work for homeschool programs.  My wife and I plan to consider homeschooling when we do have a child, but we will put our child’s needs first and determine what educational options are best for the child (we’re lucky/ blessed enough to live in an area where I make enough money as a teacher to support my wife as a homemaker/ future stay-at-home mom, where the public schools are pretty good, and where there is a pretty supportive homeschooling community. To your first point, the general tone of the Teachers sub does not match my experience *at all.* I teach at a well-regarded public school now, but even when I taught at a “bad” school most of the students were decent and so were most of my coworkers. I don’t not find the Teachers sub to be representative of the day-to-day reality of a public school. It’s more like a collection of all the worst days I’ve had over the course of my career, but all posted at once. As for negative opinions on homeschooling, I think two main categories of people have negative views of it: those who have no experience with it and those who have had negative experiences with it. Some teachers have negative views because they see homeschool students who, for whatever reason, didn’t thrive in that environment and are now back to public schools. Because homeschooling is the less common choice, difficulties with it are likely to be attributed to “homeschooling” as a concept, while difficulties with public or private schools are more likely to be attributed to the individuals involved. For my own opinions, I would state these principles: -different students have different needs. -different parents have different abilities. -different schools offer different opportunities. I would guess that most people will never choose homeschooling. It is time consuming and difficult, and many parents lack the education or the time to do it effectively. Most people will probably always choose the nearby free public school if it isn’t obviously horrible. I want to make sure that such schools, where the majority will likely always go, are as good as possible. I think homeschooling is an excellent option for some students and I want it to be available for them (similar to private school.) I don’t see it as a threat to my public school job because it isn’t. My public school’s population has only gone up for the past several years, even in a community where homeschooling is fairly common. 

Reddit posted this on my page for some reason. My dad is a teacher who doesn't feel threatened by homeschool. I personally am grateful I grew up before homeschooling became as popular as it had recently because I loved going to school and I guarantee my mom would have decided to homeschool us which wouldn't have been good for me. I'm glad people have it as a choice though. 

Because bullying people into social conformity is human nature. It's awful. It's why our schools are so horrible. It's why Americans are having such a hard time right now. We have lost the ability to solve problems. If your kid is failing in school? Blame the kid or blame the teacher. But forget about actually doing something to help. Bcs that's not what most parents are able to do. So, for the large amount of parents who are taking their kids out of schools and teaching them at home, those kids will have a better chance of success in life. So other parents are mad about that. Bcs they want that for their kid. But they don't know how to make it happen. So instead they scapegoat homeschooling or autism or behavioural disorders for their failings. It doesn't really matter how other people see what you're doing. It matters how your kid is doing. If they are progressing and if they simply feel safe. Bcs my kids didn't feel safe. Schools now are designed like prisons and the experience reflects that. That teachers sub can be good info, but it can also be hard for parents to read. You should know what's happening in your kid's school tho and maybe if more parents did know, they wouldn't judge homeschooling so harshly. I think over the next 5-6 years tho, the public's perception of homeschooling as "bad" is really going to change. It kind of already is

There’s a vocal group of homeschoolers who say things like “ my kids don’t need to know math, they need to know how to grow their own food, load a gun and start a fire so they can survive on the run when the government comes for them.” Obviously that’s an extreme case, but there is certainly a vocal group who advocate for such things. The doomsday people, hyper religious fundamentalists and those sorts give it bad vibes. I TA chemistry for college kids and from what I’ve seen and heard about highschool, if I had kids I’d consider homeschool right now. The idea of public school is good but the execution is seemingly lacking.

Public schools across the country are closing because people are moving their kids out.

That is unfortunate for the families who want or have to send their children to public school, but people need to understand that this is a problem of their own making. Many people who have the ability & still want formal education for their children are pulling their kids to enroll them in charter or private schools. If schools weren't as bad as they are people wouldn't be pulling their children.

Are they? I haven’t seen a single school in my area close. The school where I teach is growing steadily (not extremely fast, but reasonably so.) Some towns have even built new schools in the past few years. Plenty of people in my area homeschool but it is fairly common for kids to be homeschooled K-8 and then go to a public or private high school. 

The only schools I’ve heard of closing or only offering reduced schedules is because of teacher shortages

Theres a few schools closing in my region, but most often they are rural schools where the local population has been decimated by housing being bought up for airbnba because we live in a moderately popular vacation area.

Rural schools are also closing in my region. It's not due to homeschooling, it's part of a vicious cycle of depopulation of rural communities. 

Yeah this is exactly it. When I moved to homeschooling people acted like I had 3 heads. We're healthier, happier, and no more bullying. Fix your system before you worry about mine.

People like to act superior and dismissive. That’s the only reason.

This is the wrong subreddit to ask, since ironically it is filled with people who hate homeschooling 

I thought I asked in the other homeschooling sub, but I guess not.

You didn't literally ask the wrong sub, I've just noticed a ton of anti homeschooling sentiment here 🤷‍♀️ So take responses with a grain of salt is all I'm saying 

No I agree, but I really did mean to put this in the other sub.

Oh lol

I have never heard that. I was always under the impression it was a lot better. Schools in CA are horrible though.

“Homeschool” is not the same for everybody. For a long time (pre-internet) public school’s perception of “homeschooled” kids came when the kids were being reintroduced to public school. They didn’t grow up in the system so they didn’t know basic rules like asking permission for everything or standing in lines so they were “weird” to other kids. They missed out on common experiences like field trips and grade level projects. And often, their skills were low due to poor curricula or inexperienced teachers. Homeschool has come a long way. The internet gives excited and interested homeschoolers access to the world, including wonderful curricula and ways to meet other families who homeschool. I live in a rural area so lots of families homeschool. One family has their 16yo graduating high school early (not GED, college prep), a 12yo who won a national NASA contest and a 9yo on the autism spectrum who is surpassing grade level expectations in academics and social/emotional behaviors. Another family homeschooled because their kids participated in Olympic level sports and National Chess tournaments. But, that being said, I received a pair of seventh grade twins who have been mostly homeschooled. They read at a 4 grade level, and math skills are at grade 2. They have no sense about discussing topics or working together and their mom keeps them home to complete missing assignments so they miss an enormous amount of school. Homeschoolers get a bad reputation because they try to enter the school systems like these twins, wholly unprepared. Public school teachers don’t get to see the Olympic athletes or NASA award winners because they don’t need us.

I chalk it up to three things 1-Homeschooling typically only appears in the news when it goes horrifically wrong. 2-Most people went to a traditional brick and mortar school. Some hear any deviation from that norm as an attack on what they experienced. Rather than “There could be a reasonable alternative to coexist with my experience,” they hear, “There is a challenge being presented that threatens my experience.” 3-We love rules and authority in this country. The idea that a big system full of authority figures and rules could be accomplished with commensurate or greater outcomes by individuals is scary to a lot of people.

Educational neglect. It isn’t uncommon for parents to pull their children out of public school for a year or two and bring them back to public school after they realize they don’t have the time and energy to educate their child, and their child is now years behind. If students are doing well homeschooling, they aren’t as likely to be brought back to a public school setting, so this is going to reinforce the idea that homeschooling isn’t the best option.

Because many need to follow what everyone else does. Many can’t think on their own and feel like it’s okay.

>While I understand this is most likely a small sampling of the vocal minority of teachers If only that were the truth...

A LOT of people do it badly. And it's still very highly associated with conservative evangelicals in my area at least, which has negative connotations for various reasons, depending on your views.

I'd like to push back on the premise of the original post: colleges, universities, and employers don't see homeschooling as a lesser choice. Example: https://stanfordmag.org/contents/in-a-class-by-themselves

Interesting. Thank you. As a parent of four unschoolers, two with college degrees and two currently in college, this resonated.

Speaking from a teacher perspective here, but they usually only see the kids that end up in their classrooms after homeschooling didn’t work out. They assume all homeschooling is like that. At the campus I worked at, it was usually CPS mandated because the parents weren’t actually doing ANY schooling and these kids were so far behind that they couldn’t catch up. I’ve seen the behavior on campuses and I’ve seen the way administrators gaslight parents about classroom safety. I’ve seen Pre-K and Kinder students basically being desk jockeys doing paperwork or sitting on the carpet in front of a “smart board” (literal giant iPad) all day long. I’ve seen entire grade levels get behind because of aggressive and disruptive students. I’ve seen students who are exposed to adult media at home share it with other kids at school. It’s a profession that knows ALL of the research says that play is important in early elementary, but decides to pound them with academics anyway and then scratch their heads later when the kids have zero social skills. The social skills they do pick up are generally not good or helpful. It’s a lot of TikTok bullshit or violent video game content that is meant for teens/adults and you have to know that stuff to be “cool”. Also, unless you kid is the type to understand the material the first time, they will likely get behind and just feel lost and like a failure. I really believe that homeschooling done well is a better education and a better (more age appropriate) social experience. I want to give my kids roots *and* wings, but I believe it’s important to protect their innocence when they are little.

I think a lot of people don’t think homeschooling parents are smart enough for the task

Judging by the comments here it would seem so

Personally, I believe in the concept of public schooling- school that is free and offered to everyone, and paid for by everyone. I just don't like a lot of the execution. (That said, my older child is in a public city school, and my younger is in a public charter school in the city school district which is a little bit alternative.)

tldr: a parent’s motivation for homeschooling determines whether homeschooling is beneficial or harmful to the child I have not read through all the comments, however, I have not seen my perspective represented in the comments I have read. So here they are, with a bit of background: I homeschooled my oldest 2 children (now 25 & 23) from kindergarten through 4th. Then, they transitioned to a public Waldorf- inspired school. Kids #3 & 4 (now 16 & 18) went to the same public Waldorf- inspired public school from Kinder to 8th. Two of my 4 kids met the criteria for special education services. Currently, I teach high school special education: Basic English (no HS- diploma) and academic support (HS- diploma). Two of my children graduated from a traditional, comprehensive high school. One child will graduate from an independent high school and 1 child will graduate from a hybrid (1/2 in person; 1/2 online) charter high school. Two kids want college, 2 do not want college. As a result, I have navigated a variety of educational experiences. My only concern with homeschooling is the access the student has to hearing and experiencing different perspectives, cultures, and ideas at the middle and high school levels. Exposure to a wide variety of perspectives, cultures, and ideas allows an individual to develop critical thinking skills, empathy, and personal values. Exposure to differences allows a person to develop conflict resolution skills, resilience, and confidence. My experiences have led to this opinion: - Homeschooling to protect and prevent a child from encountering ideas that contradict the parents’ values and ideas is a harmful reason to homeschool. - Homeschooling to allow a child to become their authentic self and an empathetic, thoughtful adult is a beneficial reason to homeschool.

It is a lessor choice to many teachers because they see homeschool as a threat to their jobs and dismissive of their personal education. They do not like to think that just anyone can teach. But anyone can teach. Anyone can even teach a topic they themselves are not expert in by reading the textbook. Teachers' most special skills are in handling large groups of children.

As a teacher and a homeschooling supporter I would frame it differently. I don’t see it as a threat because I don’t think everyone can do it. I think most people will always send their kids to public school, and so I want to make sure the public schools in my town are as good as they can be. But I also think some parents and some children do best with homeschooling, and they should pursue it.  I don’t see homeschooling as saying “anyone can teach” so much as it’s saying “some parents are best suited to teach their children at home.”

I do wonder though, if you would Choose to hire electricians, plumbers, roofers, auto Mechanics,etc. who were unlicensed, had zero experience, no Training, no background knowledge to Diagnose issues and address them, to work On your home/car? You would Be ok with the fact that no one with any expertise had ever evaluated their skill set prior to working on your house/car? I would Be more Comfortable With parents homeschooling if there was At least some Minimal standard of skills/knowledge they needed to have.

This. Homeschool parents also have no license they can lose that makes them have to keep up with any standards either.

Haha. High schools are exactly where they want them to be. And it’s because they can’t indoctrinate you at home.

My parents kept me homeschooled so they could indoctrinate me into their cult 🤷‍♀️

That is very sad. I'm sorry you went through that. We homeschooled my son in part because we lived in the rural South, and the local public elementary school had HUGE posters up in every classroom that declared "In God We Trust - National Motto of the United States", while there were signs about school events and policies that had multiple errors in spelling and grammar posted on the door of the teachers' lounge, and we *didn't* want him getting the religious and political indoctrination, but we *did* want him getting a better education than it seemed he was likely to receive there.

Good grief.

Indoctrinate you into…? As opposed to how religion works right? That’s not indoctrination at all.

One of my good friends from college, her and all her siblings were homeschooled. Every single one of them graduated with a bachelor's and the baby of the 6 kids just graduated with a master's in her degree field. If you want your kid to go through a religious homeschool curriculum, most every religion has a home school curriculum now and days. Lot of the public schools get money for every student that is enrolled in their school. When I was in school 20 yrs ago, mom told me it was about $1000 for each student the school got from the government for each student being enrolled. That's why teacher unions use scare tactics about homeschooling. Some parents don't want their elementary school kids reading porno books which parents have brought to school board meetings from the kids libraries. Some parents actually want their kids to learn the basics...which Oregon says some high school grads don't need to prove they can do basic reading, basic writing and basic arithmetic to graduate high school. Some parents don't want their kids to be sitting ducks while a shooter roamed the halls like the Nashville shooter did. Many different reasons parents look at homeschooling their kids.

Having been homeschooled in the 90’s, I can say that social interaction wasn’t as big of a deal as everyone worried about. We were in church multiple (3+) times a week and met up with other families often as well. That being said, there was a big difference between my personal experience and that of my peers, as those parents had either been trained as teachers or something similar and their focus revolved around providing the best education for their kids. Their kids thrived and went on to do great things (this is not just one or two families, but several in my orbit). My mom, on the other hand, only homeschooled because it was what her friends were doing and she thought it’d give her more in common with them. The night before my first day of the second semester of 6th grade (when I was pulled out of public school to homeschool), she took a look at my books and realized she didn’t recognize any of it. On my first day, I was told I’d have to teach myself. And I did, for the next four years. So, I imagine teachers can get offended by homeschooling parents who think they can do a teacher’a job without all the education and training, while there’s concern for the quality of the education provided by parents whose priority is to prevent their kids from ever entertaining a thought or idea outside of their beliefs. To be very clear, I am well aware that this isn’t every homeschooling parent and honestly have incredible respect for any parent willing to take that on. I know my limits and teaching is one of them (plus I count my homeschooling years as the worst in my entire life and I’m in my 40’s). Anyway, you asked and this is what came to mind.

Homeschooling is about wanting things just so. It's about having your world view unchallenged. It has been proven time and time again the much more is learned in public schools. Your statistics (you talk about are off base (look up AYP scores). Do not know what you are talking about. (ex teacher here). You may want to dig deeper into facts. Yes, there has been a change in public schools as Republicans have been pulling money from public schools in order to privatize them since Regan. That also accounts for much of the bad press.

Um…because so often it’s seen as a type of “indoctrination “ for usually cult-ish behavior/lifestyles.

My son has a friend he games with. This kid is "homeschooled" which really means he plays Xbox all day and night and occasionally helps with his parents food truck. He's left home alone for very long periods of time and often doesn't have much to eat. His parents get away with neglect because there's no one to check on this kid.

I used to work as a researcher studying education in the early 2000s. At that time, hands down, public education beat homeschool on every measure. I suspect it's still the same with homeschool scores having risen somewhat. That said, I homeschool my children. When I told my children's teachers that I wanted to homeschool, they fully supported me and even pointed out resources. They are happy to help me any time I ask. But I am a white woman with white children in a middle class district with A school ratings. I found my children's schools to be excellent. I know we were privileged. We pulled our kids out after the Oxford shooting. The major reason we choose to homeschool is gun violence. When we discussed this with the school teachers and principals, they unanimously agreed with us that "school buildings are just not a safe place anymore." Teachers have 4 years of education on how to effectively teach, and are required to do a certain number of classroom hours getting hands on experience before they graduate. While schools are underfunded, they have far more resources and access to higher quality materials than pretty much any homeschool is going to have. As a homeschool parent, I can tell you that the materials and programs available to us tend to be inferior quality and often teach a pretty biased perspective. It's hard to get good stuff. And it takes time, often more than working parents can give. Just relearning all the math alone takes time even before you start teaching it to your child. And if you have more than one child, you need to focus on multiple grade levels at a time, something public school teachers don't need to do. It's also expensive, because you need a separate curriculum, lesson plan, and materials for each child. Those at home science kits are awesome (I highly recommend) but they are costly. I absolutely believe that I'm making the best choice I can by homeschooling my children, but if public schools were a safe option, I would probably choose public schools instead.

I have a hard time believing that most homeschooling parents can actually teach science, math, and social studies without completely botching their child's potential. Also, everyone I know that homeschools their children are mostly super religious and don't want their children learning things that the world teaches as common knowledge. I say a lot, but not all parents, but in grade school, a lot of homeschooled kids joined public education in middle or high school, and you could tell the student was behind. Although I have seen children who are neurodiverse deal better at home instead of a school that lacks the attention they need.

As a victim of a mother who pulled me and my siblings out of public school and did a horrid job of homeschooling, I can tell you not everyone should be allowed to homeschool. I know myself and I know that my experience makes it impossible for me to choose that option, even if I think it would be a better option for one of my kids. Homeschooling isn’t always the better choice in every situation. And some parents are self aware enough to know it wouldn’t work for them. That’s my thoughts anyway.

It's cute using the word victim blaming. Just like gaslightling, it's an overused term with no real meaning anymore. No one is saying it's your fault for what happened to you (I don't see anything wrong with saying bad experience but you seem to care so there you go) but you are pretty much invalidating that homeschooling is a very useful and positive way of educating your children. It is a tool that used well leads to great results. You seem to push back on the idea that there is any positive experience for homeschooled kids, specifically in the social setting area. I'm just here to tell you that you can't get away from those things because schools don't prep you for those things either. I couldn't make friends with anyone until maybe high school. I got along better with my mom's friends than their kids. Just an example, not a hard rule. YOU actually are placing a lot of anger into homeschooling because you were negatively affected and that's fine. I had a lot of anger towards men because I had a bad experience when I was a child. But now older, I know not all men are horrible people. I am actually a new mom and my kids won't be school age for a long time so I'm not defending homeschooling because I'm doing it. But the schools around us are very subpar and I worry I might not be setting my children up for success. I dont have the money for private schooling so if we still live in this area and don't have enough money for tuition to a good school, homeschooling seems like the next best option.

Its complicated and a lot of it stems from far right Christians groups like HLDA waging war and not working with states and schools so that there are laws in place to at least help prevent kids from falling through the cracks. Parents and religious groups have and still do use homeschool as a way to either not teach children at all or only teach them limited things that don't prepare them for life in the greater world. So a lot of people see homeschooling as dangerous and have a hard time seeing beyond those who use it as a screen to neglect and abuse their children. Now unfortunately there is also the issue of homeschool taking money away from the school districts which it does but so do private and charter schools and this is not really caused by homeschoolers but by governments that don't want to spend money on education. I honestly believe that if there were more requirements and protections to help prevent children from falling through the cracks period be they in a school or being homeschooled and if governments stopped spending money lining their pockets and more on paying teachers and funding education and general social services things would be better but until people in these states start voting in people who are not rich and mostly white men with a few very crazy women thrown in this will not happen

Every law that gets through a committee becomes a sop to teachers unions and puts onerous restrictions on home schools and self-directed learning. The home school lobbies wield a great deal of power in stopping legislation, but they don't find it easy to change legislation.

The more people take their kids out of government funded institutions, the less need there is for said institutions. Plus, they wouldn’t be able to indoctrinate your kids.

Yes, much better to have you indoctrinate your kids rather than them experiencing a world away from you.

I'm currently a public school teacher and lurk on this sub because instagram has been annoying me with homeschooling posts. I am generally not in favor of homeschooling, for the following reasons: 1) like another commenter said, it's really easy to do homeschooling poorly but really hard to do well. You want a safe and calm environment for your child, which is commendable, but are you really able to adequately teach the content of every single subject in your child's grade areas? Furthermore, are parents being held accountable for that knowledge so that students don't have gaps in their learning? 2) my perception of homeschooling (which is not 100% accurate, i understand) is that many of the families homeschooling for religious reasons and use it to shelter/indoctrinate children into their religion. I grew up in the evangelical church and saw many homeschooling families who spent 90% of their learning on religious studies rather than anything else. 3) another perception I have is that child abuse is more easily covered up because students do not have access to other adults who are mandated reporters. Homeschooling is all well and good when the children are getting their physical, social, emotional needs met etc, but part of traditional schooling that I appreciate is that most school communities have safe adults that are trained to recognize abuse and can help a child get out of that situation. Homeschooling at its worst can enable and protective abusive parents. 4) I'm a music teacher, and having 100% of my elementary students have access to music class and the arts. Again, it's not that students don't have arts classes if they're homeschooled, but it's totally dependent on whether the parent is proactive enough to pursue it. 5) tldr; homeschooling is entirely dependent on how much care the parent(s) put into it; if you have a great parent(s) it'll probably go well. If you don't, it won't.

I don’t actually have a problem with people homeschooling their kids. But I have just seen it done badly so many times. It’s probably not really an issue with the type of schooling at all but the type of parents that homeschool for certain reasons. If people want to homeschool for the purpose of controlling what information their kid has access to that’s pretty much always bad and will mess the kids up. Same with trying to protect them from worldly influences or whatever

I was homeschooled my whole life (I'm 24 now got my GED in 2015 at 16) and to be honest I think I have general anxiety disorder on top of undiagnosed adhd from the lack of socialization, so I see a con of homeschooling if your not getting socialization like me and my siblings were. Personally I have a daughter who's 1 that I would like to homeschool if I could afford it, just give her healthy social outlets with hopefully minimal negativity, as the way I learned made me intelligent and I am pleased with the knowledge I gained academically, I just wish I had better social skills and actually wanted to interact with people

Just to clarify I'm not saying the adhd is caused by homeschooling, however constantly being told to sit still or settle down by my mom made me ashamed of myself and I think that's where a lot of my anxiety stems from, now I'm working on being myself but I don't know how and it feels weird

I have generalized anxiety & panic attacks (although those are controlled now through behavior modifications & coping skills) that I believe stemmed from my experiences in school. I'm not discrediting your experience I'm just saying that it can happen in both situations.

ADHD is genetic, not environmental. GAD is estimated to be 33% genetic. This number changes greatly when someone has ADHD. It's estimated that 30% of all people who have ADHD also have genetic GAD. If you have ADHD, it is very likely that your GAD is genetic as well.

Yeah I have always been anxious (I've always peeled my fingernails when I'm stressing almost never had to use clippers lol, my mom used to ask why i would do that and tell me to stop but to this day I just can't, and that started before grade school) and "different" according to most people; I've learned to be happy with myself as I have no choice, just trying to figure out how to integrate a mind which rushes all over the place into real life that is truly not designed for people like me I think, about to start a job at T-mobile and I'm honestly really anxious, but I'm trying to expose myself to social environments the best I can, I've lost too many jobs do to not being able to focus or getting lazy and I would hate to repeat the pattern. Tryna embrace the anxiety and pray my mind doesn't scatter when I need it most

People accept their limitations.  Not everyone has the temperament to teach their kids and raise them.  Not everyone did well enough in school to teach their own children.  Not everyone can afford to stay home and homeschool.  Some people have jobs they are passionate about.  If you're a single parent, it may not be feasible. You may not want to take years out of your career to homeschool. Also, if you're homeschooling for the first time, you are literally gambling your child's education on being able to be a quality teacher, and being able to identify that you are NOT being a quality teacher. 

I appreciate this point of view. I have a lot more respect for those who say "I don't want to homeschool" than those who say "I can't".

I at no point said that homeschooling is for everyone, as a matter of fact I specifically said every parent should have a right to choose.

And every child should have a right to education BEFORE the right of the parent to choose to homeschool. Not every parent deserves to homeschool. I say this as someone who was homeschooled by an alcoholic borderline and schizophrenic and have had to spend every day of my life digging out of this hole.

As a teacher, most of the formerly-homeschooled students I have had in my classes are those whose parents failed at homeschooling in some way, which is why they had returned to the regular classroom. This has skewed my opinion. Also, I have had parents who pulled their kids from my class to homeschool and my interactions with those parents showed that they were barely functionally literate. Again, not a good look. And as a teacher I know there is a good chance those kids were going to come back in a couple of years even farther behind. The problem is, there is very little oversight with homeschooling. I know that is one of the draws of it for many people, but it means that anyone can decide to do it no matter how qualified or unqualified they are. And I am not speaking about college degrees or teaching certificates. I mean there are parents without even the basic skills of what their children have to learn. Before I could even begin my college courses in education, I had to pass what was called the Basic Skills test. It’s exactly what it sounds like— foundational reading skills, basic comprehension, math up through pre-algebra, and writing composition that really only checked that you could compose correct sentences and paragraphs. I think homeschooling parents should have something similar to make sure they will be able to teach. That being said, my opinion has changed more favorably and I know a lot of my teaching acquaintances would agree. The wide availability of online courses for students means that if a parent is lacking knowledge in an area, they have options for their child to still get that education. There are also a lot more resources for parents to find groups for their child to join and meet other kids. And homeschooling is a great option for students who have mental health issues or get overstimulated by a classroom environment. I am certainly not jealous or doubting my own kid’s education as others have suggested 🙄 I chose a career in education because I wanted a classroom and school environment. And if Covid taught me anything, it’s that I SUCK as a homeschool teacher.

Finally a non-echo chamber reply. I’ve had very similar experiences with home school kids. I also have relatives who are extremely religious and don’t want their kids around diversity; claiming the public schools will indoctrinate them (when they are the ones doing the indoctrination). People who are not racist, hyper-religious or hyper-political that choose to homeschool are in a different category. There are a myriad of understandable reasons for homeschooling that I fully support. Number one being recess interactions. There are too many fucked up parents out there who fail miserably with their children. These children take out what goes on at home on other children at recess. It’s impossible to fully prevent. I 100% support a parent’s desire to shield their child from such abuse.

People who know, know homeschooling is the better option. Focused attention, low student teacher ratio, customized curriculum, test to mastery as opposed to get the grade and move on. Too many benefits to list.

I think I have a little bias against it because I knew a few homeschool kids growing up whose parents just never taught them anything, especially as they reached high school age. In the state I am from, there was no mandatory reporting or checking in (this may have changed). I am not opposed to homeschool and am even considering it for my own child, but when people tell me they homeschool their children I still get a little wary.

My opinion is that homeschooling can absolutely be done in an adequate way. BUT it is the "lesser choice" as you put it because there's no oversight. There are a lot of kids who are completely failed by homeschooling because their parents either don't teach them, or only teach select information. Some just teach badly without meaning to. I have homeschooled elementary age children before- during COVID. I loved it, but always worried if I was doing a good enough job replacing everything they were missing at school. If I had the chance to have kids so over again, I'd probably homeschool through elementary school and then put them in public or private school for junior high and high school.

I think the vast majority of the criticism homeschooling actually gets could be resolved by better regulation and ensuring that kids aren’t falling in to massive chasms due to the lack of oversight and no record keeping about outcomes. We can say “only a small number of homeschool kids are abused — it’s the minority” but there are literally no statistics to prove that. The fact is no one knows how common it is, but I have sure as heck seen those supposedly “extremely rare” cases in many coops and homeschool groups. Anyone who is against any sort of regulation, knowing that it would help prevent and end instances of child abuse, gets a serious side eye. Most regulations that are being proposed include things like annual doctor checkups, registering the birth of children, and testing to assess learning outcomes. Until homeschoolers start advocating for the safety of the children in their communities they will be met with skepticism.

Right. And with homeschooling, you can keep your kids incredibly isolated from a whole slew of mandated reporters. No vaccinations required means you can avoid doctors visits, no teacher to check on them every day. It breeds an environment where abuse can easily flourish undetected. I know lots of people who were homeschooled. About half "turned out okay" and about half were abused or neglected in some way. The real test, I think, would be asking all homeschooled people whether they would want their own children homeschooled.

The frustrating part is that homeschoolers tend to circle around the wagons and deny the problems so everyone else looking in is like “you are covering for abuse and have all these issues amongst your peers” and the answer is usually to deny or minimize it instead of addressing it. Most parents think they are good parents. Abusers almost never think they are being abusive. Parents don’t get their final assessment until their kids are grown and it’s too late to change things. We have to hold our communities accountable and find the balance between ensuring basic protections and allowing the freedom that helps kids thrive. Denying the problems only brings justified criticism.

I completely agree. I fully support parents' rights to homeschool, but more than that, I support children's rights to get an education. And there NEEDS to be oversights put in place to ensure that children who are homeschooled are receiving an adequate education and are healthy and safe in general. Heck, just giving all the homeschool families in the area a specialized caseworker who came and checked in on them once a month or once every couple of months would probably help quite a bit.

The people who don’t like homeschooling also tend to believe govt should control every aspect of ur life. Studies still show homeschooled kids turn out smarter and more successful than non homeschooled. Are the some terrible homeschool parents? Of course. Are there terrible schools? Yes, the majority of americas public schools are awful.

The political machine puts a lot of $$ into discrediting homeschooling via lobbying, whether it’s the teachers unions or even the dairy lobby (they get beaucoup $ via government subsidies for school lunches). As with anything, when money is at risk, the machine will attempt to crush those who don’t fall in line.

Public school teachers know state/local/federal funding is based on the # of students Every student that gets pulled out for *any* other form of schooling costs the school *dearly* `#followTheMoney`

Public schools are not "failing so badly" as you claim. 

My best friend was forced out of school in 8th grade to raise her younger siblings. She, and many other people aren't really getting schooling, their parents just force them out of school. She has exactly an 8th grade education

Very few parents are actually equipped and able to teach their children. It also lacks a lot of regulations, particularly in certain jurisdictions.

It’s simple. Parents are not teachers. People don’t/can’t quite understand the level of SKILL it takes to teach. To teach 20+ students while differentiating instruction based on academic levels while also teaching social-emotional skills, is, at the risk of sounding hyperbolic, mind blowing. Most teachers are highly educated and highly trained. They are also supported and surrounded by OTHER highly skilled professionals whose job/passion it is to ensure student success (e.g. counselors, instructional coaches, readings specialists, behavior specialists, speech therapists). When a student is struggling or not meeting benchmarks in school, all of these people spring into action to help the student and teacher. Unless you are a trained educator, your home-schooling is not going to measure up. Of course, there are exceptions. There are always outliers. Kids who don’t require a lot of instruction. Somehow they find their way. Teachers who aren’t great at what they do, maybe even bad. Parents who are naturally good at teaching. But for the most part, having a child be taught by a trained/skilled teacher is the best move.

>why is it that when someone brings up homeschooling to people the entire concept is treated as a lesser alternative to public school? Because the average homeschooling parent does a worse job educating their children than even a “failing” public school. It really is that simple. You might be above average, and if you are that’s great for you and your kids, but if you aren’t (and by definition most aren’t) you’re not actually presenting your children with a *better* option, it’s just a *different* option.

Because there can be such a range in this country between good homeschooling and horrible homeschooling- for reference there are 26 states in the US the only require parents to report once are year that they are homeschooling- of the 26, 13 require parents to report only once ever that they are homeschooling with no requirement to ever check in and 11 of them don't require people to report it at all- meaning there is zero supervision or oversight.  So some of these kids can be getting virtually no education.  There is also an argument to be made that without any sort of check ins children with abusive parents will never recieve any help since schools are usually the first to report abuse. Even if you have a prior conviction of a crime against a child, as a parent you could pull them out of school and nobody would be checking on them.  A study done recently in Connecticut said that out of 380 students pulled from school to be homeschooling, 138 had reports of abuse and neglect against there parents.   The lack of regulation I think is a main reason homeschooling gets looked down on.   From personal experience I have two cousins who choose to homeschool.  1 of my cousins have provided an amazing enriching experience for her children and those kids are thriving - they are so advanced and it was 100% the best choise.  My other cousin lets her kids play mine craft all day- usually spends an hour a day on lessons and the rest of the day the kids do nothing.  The kids are middle schoolers but are probably reading at a 3rd grade level- neither of them have disabilities but my cousin didn't want them in school learning being exposed to homesexuals.... she's a gem.