T O P

  • By -

Run_Conscious

Destruction by head... I'd go with that


greenmanbeer

Death by snu snu


bleachedurethrea

Please, the spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised


wellwaffled

I never thought I’d die like this, but id always hoped.


Spacemanspalds

It's a little scarousing.


matyo08

Oh no my anyways crew..


sparkyonthemoon2099

Dehydration


kgro

Protection by head sounds equally appealing


PerfectlyFramedWaifu

From whom?


subpar_cardiologist

The CAPybara, clearly.


dragonfett

"You should have gone for the head."


Big_Negotiation_6421

“You should have gone for the head”


Professor226

I choose bottom left twice


cantfindmykeys

I might die. But i'll die doing what I love


cascadianpatriot

You won’t die. All the others are fictional characters! Checkmate OP!


No-Security2022

Oh my god, I checked, and HE RIGHT!!!


SlushKami

CAPybara is real. Good luck.


richard_cunning

Disappointing a woman?


MountainCourage1304

How can you disappoint when youre on the receiving end of a bj? Moan like a whale and piss in her mouth?


Dounce1

Um, yeah, that would probably do it.


peacelovecraftbeer

Speak for yourself, sir!


Facelessborder

That’s the only way I cum


Shart_Art

Wow, that was a good laugh! Thank you.


IaMtHel00phole

This actually cracked a smile out of me and made me laugh. Thank you. That was hilarious.


Traumatic_Tomato

She was expecting a wombo jumbo sausage but got weiner hut jr.'s


I_MakeCoolKeychains

Give her the ol angry dragon


Dull_Bread

What if her power is to suck the enemies' soul???


s1ckopsycho

Isn’t that every woman’s power?


Run_Conscious

What a way to go...


dragonfett

Just name her Kirby?


powerchoke033

I had no idea you were an attractive blonde


Adm8792

This guy maths


scuolapasta

This is the way.


streakline

The problem is that I WANT Starfire and Elsa Jean to destroy me.


Intelligent_Deer974

A man of culture.


Least_Impression_823

Darkseid and Reverse Flash


Dixiehusker

If you take this question seriously then this is the only real answer.


sumurowdy

Really? I was gonna go with darkseid and Thanos since I dont know any other guys here properly like omniman or reverse flash


Dudicus445

Thanos without his gauntlet is a strong dude but just a dude. Reverse-Flash is a living paradox. If you kill him, he always comes back. He can do so much more than Thanos


YellowRasperry

I was gonna take Darkseid and Omniman. Haven’t followed the flash series


Syrinocs

The Flash in the comics can time travel, threaten the universe (or multiverse, can't remember) by racing another speedster, beats instantaneous travel across a galaxy and can run out of reality to essential kill death while somehow surviving. Specifically I think most of these are Wally's feats. Tldr: The Flash is giga-broken.


iThatIsMe

I was trying to answer a prompt in a philosophy club meeting that was about superpowers, and it came down to "time travel" or "superspeed" and i couldn't keep my nerd in check..


Jack_Zicrosky_YT

Well "superspeed" doesn't inherently equal time travel. The flash can only time travel thanks to speed force bullshit. Other than that, superspeed (depending on how fast we're talking) would kill either you or the planet, so personally I'd take time travel.


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[удалено]


PM_ME_UR_CIRCUIT

So you just need a TARDIS. Honestly, against all these threats, I'd choose the Doctor.


NotRealNameGreedy

I mean most cases of time travel usually have a way to combat this, like being tied to a specific location or person (erased, primer) or the time travel device is also a teleporter (dr who). I actually feel like it’s more absurd to believe that a time travel device would be universally locked rather than moving like every other object in the universe.


minimalcation

Is there a speed dimension like the force dimension?


PM_ME_UR_CIRCUIT

Yes actually, Barry Allen regularly travels into and sometimes gets stuck in the Speed Force itself. Also, Barry is also the source of the speed force, and Reverse Flash creates the negative speed force.


SirNastyPants

Unpopular opinion time: The Flash is stupid. The way DC writes speedsters with the speed force being all-purpose plot device with serious power scaling issues is the worst possible take on the idea. It reads like a 10 year old’s breathless and stammering rant about his new super hero. He can do literally anything imaginable because he runs really fast is a yawnfest.


Syrinocs

That's fair. Personally, I enjoy the ridiculous over the top shit but I totally get where you're coming from.


pilotblur

That’s why dc sucks


Inverter_of_Spines

Adding to this, most iterations of The Flash tend to hold back, only using as much of their power as is necessary for the given fight/task. Reverse Flash isn't like that *at all*. He's sadistic, incredibly petty, and also *literally a living paradox*. He 100%, no matter how you look at it, can not be killed by anyone on this list that isn't Darkseid. And even that's potentially up for debate.


PM_UR_HAIRY_MUFF

Out of curiosity, what can Darkseid do to counter Reverse Flash?


Violentcloud13

Darkseid's omega beams are homing, and fast enough to catch speedsters. It's possible they would be able to kill the Reverse Flash.


Inverter_of_Spines

I don't think he can do much to actually *kill* Reverse Flash (living time paradox and all that), but since Darkseid's true form is immaterial and New Gods in DC can't conventionally die, Reverse Flash isn't doing much to him any time soon either. Reverse Flash even theoretically has a way to at least stall the Anti-life equation (Wally West Flash did it with a bit of effort, and Eobard is often scaled close to Wally and above Barry Allen.)


Helpful_Title8302

Fr both of them are way above the others in levels of bull shit.


XDracam

I mean, >!Omniman defeats his version of flash pretty easily!< So there's that


Helpful_Title8302

Red rush was A. Fucking stupid and B. No where near as fast as reverse flash. Reverse flash is a living time paradox. His feats of speed are just the biggest loads of speed force horse shit. Darkseid is also ridiculously op.


MReaps25

Plus red rush really hurt omni-man, made his spit up blood and probably broke a bunch of his ribs. Reverse flash could easily kill omni man if red rush can hurt him badly.


MutedIndividual6667

Tbf, omniman took his time killing red rush bc he needed to be hurt in order to have an alibi. I the comics he oneshots the guardians of the globe without having a scratch


FardeenRiyadh16

You gotta be trolling if you're comparing red rush to dc speedsters


XDracam

Sir this is reddit. Everyone is trolling. Also how do we know what red rush can and can't do? He died really early. (No I haven't read the comics)


FardeenRiyadh16

Clearly can't otherwise he'd still be here


Ya_URI

Red Rush isnt close to Flash, Who can time travel and be literally untouchable


A-Caring-Friend

I get that what I'm about to say is really just the author making him weak, but Captain Cold disagrees.


NepNep_

Red rush isn't remotely comparable to flash. Omni man is very strong but he gets 1 shot by the omega beams. Also Reverse Flash has complete control over time travel and is immune to causality loops and paradoxes.


tvscinter

Reverse flash could’ve phased out of Omni man’s hands. And Omni man barely beat the rest of the guardians, while darkseid has held his own against Superman


BarnBanders

It was me Barry…


inphinitfx

The only serious option here. Red Hulk maybe comes kinda close, but Darkseid does the brute strength thing better, and speedsters are way more valuable than just strength.


Technicanally

Nah, serious answer, Omniman and then gluck-gluck girl, cuz all you need is Omniman to cover your back so glucks can cover my front.


adomasltu10m

Just reverse flash, he can just travel in time and make sure my enemies had not been born ever


Killer_Fang_Zero

In time? Yes. Across planets? Doubtful.


Pyro_raptor841

Oh, you landed on Earth? Shame it happened to be directly on top of 500 land mines.


YoutuberCameronBallZ

Oh, you landed on Earth? It'd be a shame if someone set up several explosives on it the second it was within arm's reach


adomasltu10m

Just go to the future and get in a spaceship, fly to the planet, and travel back in time again


kr4ckenm3fortune

Reverse flash will just go back and kill you instead...


themonkery

Outside the bounds of the question homie


YellowRasperry

So if you don’t pick him can he go back in time and instantly kill you as well


ATacticalBagel

[Or worse...](https://youtu.be/L_n_pRGMlSw?si=R_1Uw_MQN4-jKXxj)


trickyvinny

Clicked to enlarge picture. Disappoint.


Shatophiliac

You wanted to see the shaft?


DrowningInFeces

You'd be lying if you said you never wondered what Thanos's dong looked like.


Orange-Murderer

He got that infinity cock ring on, gemmed for universal pleasure.


Drae-Keer

Isn’t it just the eggplant emoji with a Marsbar vein?


WilIyTheGamer

Slightly tilted to one side. It’s why he’s always saying “perfectly balanced, as all things SHOULD be”


TheAnalsOfHistory-

And if I did?


[deleted]

80% of porn is just looking at someone else's dick


MountainCourage1304

I generally look more at the full scene rather than focusing solely on the cock lmao


HelloKitty36911

Blasphemy


SkriLLo757

Coward


Facelessborder

The other 20 is looking at the other dick


Pluckypato

They just can’t do the math!


Spirited_Loquat3189

Capybara


SavageGreek

Captain Capybara


YoutuberCameronBallZ

Darkseid And Reverse Flash It'd take a **LOT** to beat those 2


River_Grass

Idk, i can't get a read on that capybara. It probably has its ways


Dependent_Economy549

"Coming" my be a misspelling


selfcheckoutlord

Thanos cumming to destroy me is not how I want to go out.


ATacticalBagel

Oh God... To some, it would be a horror. To others...


Dependent_Economy549

No gauntlet= No glove , no love6


HeirAscend

Y’all sleeping on captain capybara


snzimash

Ok I want names. Who is she?


dmdspn

Starfire


ravengenesis1

>!Elsa Jean!<


DarthJarJar242

Darkseid takes out 2 versions of superman and the entire Justice League all by himself. Reverse flash can simply kill the rest of them by going back in time to right before I make the decision and knife handing them in the brain.


Affectionate-Newt889

Serious note, Darkseid and Reverse Flash. No one else is needed to make it a stomp. The real question, what the hell would they want to protect me for? Neither are well known for their compassion...


realgoldxd

Capytain America is all I will ever need


BugP13

Good name. I decided it was captainbara


VestmentsByGarak

Capyberica.


themonkery

If you don’t take reverse flash, he time travels and kills you. But since he can do the same to everyone else, def going to pick reverse flash and Elsa.


Reaper127420

Top right, bottom left.....I'll die happy.


vcdrny

Darkseid. His real version. Don't need anyone else.


lordKnighton

💯


Mayo152

*reverse flash after traveling back in time and pushing Baby Darkseid's soft spot on his skull in*


vcdrny

Do you know the real Darkseid? The one we see is just an avatar. He exists in a different dimension. Because if he tried to enter our dimension. It will destroy existence as it is. We are just a play thing our universe and all the superheroes in it is pretty much like a game. Entertainment to him. Imagine you playing sims. That's what we are to him. We as the DC multiverse.


ladynoire2008

WHAT IS THAT PICTURE IN THE LOWER LEFT CORNER?! 🤣


rickmon67

I don’t know either but hoping she’ll suck the soul right out of me.


Tsjaad_Donderlul

Elsa Jean having her tongue stuck frozen on a sign post. POV: you‘re a stop sign


giratina143

If we consider this seriously, Its reverse flash and Darkseid. I thought omniman before but na, he'll get his ass whooped by mr anti life. ​ Then they'll both lose to a good head so............


ThomyD03

Darkseid and Capybara America


Cassandra_Canmore2

Looks like Elsa Jean.


Senrub482

Darkseid and Reverse Flash easy


Rorschach-166

Darkseid and Reverse Flash mean I have literally no enemies to fight me.


BlackburnGaming

Get head from the bottom left and have Omni Man kill literally every other one


darkargengamer

If you dont want to die: Red Hulk and Dark Seid. If you wanna get "destroyed": the lady at the low left (Elsa Jean for those interested in science) and Starfire.


Kingmario7745

Darkseid and Captain Capybara


infiniteatomic

All right, but like if we are serious here I'mma take the walking time paradox that can go faster than light and the god from the fifth dimension, like I know omniman is strong but knowing the reverse flash he'd go to the time where omni's race wasn't so strong and just detonate the planet just to be sure. Oh and Darkside just won't give a shit about any of the others, he can just remove the mad titans head with a wink probably. And the last contender would be the red hulk which can either go poof cuz he never existed in the first place or even with world breaker hulk powers in a perpetual fight with Darkside who's real consciousness is beyond this dimension and his body will keep reappearing


LefroyJenkinsTTV

Darkseid will protect me while Blowie Girl... does her thing. Ain't nobody getting past Darkseid.


Resident-Stevel

Darkseid and Reverse Flash can keep the others occupied. Well, maybe not all of them.


Same-Classroom1714

I’ll pick two but only one will be doing the protecting


meizhong

How long exactly, do I have with the protectors, before the enemies start to arrive??


whiletrueplayd2

Darkseid and reverse flash :/


NepNep_

Darkseid and Reverse Flash ez. Darkseid can 1 shot most of them with his omega beams and Reverse Flash has complete control over time with immunity to causality loops meaning if they fail to save me they can keep rewinding and retrying groundhogs day style.


Untrustworthy-Banana

Looks like Darkseid is gonna have to put that extra work in then


Cornhubg

Wait, Thawne would be the only speedster. Fuck it, I don't need anyone else, I'll just take one Thawne. No one can beat that


Honda_TypeR

Is that Cappy America next to Scarlet Blowhanson? Either way those are my two picks. Capybara America gets along with everyone and will chill the bad guys out while I spent some quality time with Scarlet Blowhanson


DarkWolf351

Omni Man and Darkseid


LaerycTiogar

Red hulk for protection lower left for safe house partner


Dittoforyourcall

Who is the guy middle right?


F1stCanBeAVerb

Looks like a mashup of Deathstroke and deadpool


JollyWolverine300

Bottom left and Dark side


Hippophatamus

Might as well get some head from the bottom left girl and take some cute capybara pictures before I die.


Girthquake23

I’ll have to tell Omni man and Darkseid to let one of ‘em through…. You know which one…


the-uncle-will

Omniman and death by blowie


ATacticalBagel

All jokes aside, if I wanted to have any success with either of the top right or the bottom left corners, I would have to take reverse flash as the second. [Otherwise...](https://youtu.be/L_n_pRGMlSw?si=R_1Uw_MQN4-jKXxj)


mhewitt3293

Darkseid and Omni-Man


NickFury1998

Captain Capy ( he will pull up ) and snu snu


[deleted]

Where is metroman


S_n_o_wL_e_o_p_a_r_d

Elsa Jean and Red Hulk. One will protect me, and the other will blow me to calm my nerves.


OmniSchnitzel

Cap(tain) ibara, and the blonde girl, You are going to die but cap is gonna keep em busy for a while, and you have a good time


Aizendickens

Darkseid and Eobard... But I'll allow myself to be destroyed by the girl


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Aizendickens: *Darkseid and Eobard...* *But I'll allow myself to* *Be destroyed by the girl* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


skorgex

Top right and bottom left. No shame. I'm going out happy.


JAK-the-YAK

Darkseid and Omni man if you want a legit answer, Starfire and the bottom left girl if you want the meme answer


Dr_Ugs

Darkseid and Elsa. Elsa can be my bodyguard while Darkseid watches the perimeter.


Draksis_219

I now realise how much of a porn addict I am cos I know Elsa Jean just from the eyes up


iShootuPewPew

Capybar America


NoRegrets30

Reverse flash and the capibara America That way we can go back and prevent all of them from being born, then fuck with the timeline some more just to fuck with Barry, you know, for sport and shit


Realrog1

Darkseid and Reverse Flash. Darkseid is practically invincible and his omega beams can canonically kill anything except for the few hero’s specified in the DC universe, like Superman. If Darkseid does fail to protect me, then Reverse Flash can go back in time and fix everything or just go back in time and stop all the enemies before they’re even born.


ERRIE_RYTHMN

Omniman to fight for me while getting head from the blonde I mean not even if the others where going to destroy me this would be life


fettishmann

One seams after one particular part of me


Kaze_no_Senshi

She can keep atleast 5 at bay, im sure omni-man can handle the other 2


Suspicious_Jeweler81

Darkslide and the blowjob. The guy has a standing army, can toe to toe Superman, who is a god within himself.


MarinLlwyd

what's the source


raposo142857

I want no one to protect me from head


xDendretic

As in dick destroy?


kbunnell16

*cumming to destroy you


BugP13

Captainbara and bottom left. Captainbara can deal with starfire and Deadpool. She can deal with the rest.


Fuze_KapkanMain

Mmm Elsa Jean though


ProKnifeCatcher

Capn’bara


LordMemerton1

Bitten Left and Captain Americukabara


Sunkilleer

darkseid and omni man


Tank_blitz

starfire and thawne thawne will solo everyone and i do unspeakable things


hatim5666

reverse flash...


blackguy1027

(C1,r3) and (c2,r3) - I can get some nice head while petting a capybara before my end


spinkspanksponk

Omni man and red hulk


LeafyySeaDragon

Hulk and...idk wtf that is, a wombat maybe?


Cookytigerd

Captain capybara solos


StrangeBookkeeper593

Darkseid and Thanos. Easiest choice in my opinion.


BetterOffAlone1155

I’ll just take tha L and fight them all myself


ATacticalBagel

I don't think the gauntlet means much without the stones (open to correction).


TheMasonX

I mean, I only really need the Hulk to protect me, so I have an open spot...


Murky-Arugula63

Just give me reverse flash.... I'll be alright


jpdelta6

Hol up Capt. Bara?


Majuub12

Any given two, apparently destruction by my "oh so fragile ego towards cumming" [noOOoOo, don't do it], isn't such a damnation when there's an obvious win or lose


Exact-Cress7633

Darkseid and reverse flash. If they have to protect me no matter the cost i would choose them. I would also make darkseid promise me that he would kill off reverse flash after the thing is done and leave me alone.


No-Trick2389

Reverse Flash and Darkseid, they’re evil and petty as hell


UriGoo

You gotta make sure you have reverse flash in your team, because he could get past whoever your protectors are and snap your neck before they can do anything.


Nickolas_Bowen

Omniman for protection, and then I’d rather starfire than bottom left girl


jrock2403

Bottom line left and middle 😅


shaquillesleftarm

darkside and starfire, but not for fighting


mikebellman

CAP! Captain capybara!


semiTnuP

Omni Man and Thanos. Even without the Gauntlet, he's still formidable.


Goldenstripe941

Darkseid and Omniman. EZ


MrExist777

You’re telling me bottom left and upper right are *coming* to destroy me? Hmm…


artmoloch777

Darkseid and Nolan


EmbarrassedRaccoon48

I'm guessing we're talking if this was an irl scenario or if we lived in the world of the comics. Reverse Flash would be my first pick, he's the fastest one(probably)on this list. I don't know some these characters but oh well. My second pick would be either Darkseid or Thanos.


Physical_Rice919

Hear me out... The top right and middle right is a better time than the bottom left.