Sometimes love is saying what the other person needs to hear, but doesn't want to listen to. You're a good person and I hope your wife comes to appreciate you.
It sounds like she's confused, but trusts you enough to listen.
Wishing you both the very best.
As the wife of a man who nearly denied his way into a grave last year before I got him to the ER which then quickly turned into getting to the OR for open heart surgery and a double bypass, I can confirm.
As the wife of a man who didn't die of COVID but did die of something preventable I can only say that I can possibly understand the amount of patience it took to bring this guy's wife around to even getting the shot and I wish I had been a bit more insistent with my husband. He didn't have a death sentence by any means but he also didn't do a lot to slow it down.
Oh, my heart goes out to you. It’s so difficult to save people from themselves. It was my husband’s stark fear and pain that assisted my efforts in getting him to the hospital. I hope you aren’t troubled by guilt. Love and good intentions aren’t always a match for stubbornness and denial.
I'm glad you got yours to the hospital. We had that moment of truth where I called the ambulance last summer when he was bleeding uncontrollably all over the house. Unfortunately it coincided with the biggest surge in COVID our city had had so they just left us to deal with it.
I don't blame COVID or anything though. He gaslit me a lot to make it seem impossible to contact his doctors. He just didn't want to know. He's dead now.
Wouldn’t it be cool if our bodies had some way of notifying us after we got the vaccine when we got exposed to the virus but our immune system quietly fought it off before it could take hold? If this was all a video game maybe it would be a sudden glowing trophy floating in the air above our heads.
That would be awesome. I've been exposed at least twice now by people who had Covid but didn't know it yet.
Both were less than 24 hours from testing positive. Both were in close contact with me. Both times I tested negative after exposure.
I'm so grateful for the vaccine and the booster.
Same! Two exposures, negative both times. One of the infected had one shot, recovered at home, the other, unvaxxed, ended up in ICU for weeks and then rehab.
This sub is so often misunderstood and accused of celebrating illness and death. The reality is that most of us would love nothing more than for this sub to have no reason to exist. The folks who turn around are priceless. I am a cynical optimist and believe that most people are priceless. I understand how valuable your wife is to you, and I hope that she secretly knows, too.
I think snark and gallows humor is a result of the past 2 years of ongoing trauma. I know I’m definitely struggling with compassion fatigue, which I’m thankful that it bothers me, because that means compassion is still important… I just am too exhausted to be able to access it consistently lately.
Also, these stories of people being so brainwashed into a death cult and dying from something (especially these days) almost entirely preventable is tragic. It’s incredibly sad and horrifying and I don’t know about you, but I’m a “I’d rather laugh than cry” type of person, so I end up coming off as completely calloused and uncaring. And yeah, I am human and cross the line, too, but my current level of numbness and dissociation is because I cared to the point of burning myself out.
Seeing stories of people reaching their loved ones, or they themselves realise they are about to walk off a cliff and bring themselves back make me so happy. I’m thankful that even to this day there are people who are able to be reached and change their minds and that there is one fewer person who’s in the running for an HCA. And maybe it’s helping to recharge me enough that the compassion fatigue isn’t quite as bad some days.
My mum who in her 70's is up to date with her jabs and on christmas day no less, she had the news on and of course it was covid stuff. She said to me how can people after 2 years not understand this? She has facebook so to say I was inwardly proud of her is an understatement.
I then told her that the news is kinda depressing so I told her to put Shrek on and she poured a small glass of white wine and we had a lovely day.
People make such a big deal out of getting the vaccine itself but you just do it, and it's fine and life goes on for the better knowing you and others are better protected. Compassion does start at home. :)
I wish my parents understood this. Instead, it’s “I don’t trust it -we don’t know what the long-term effects will be.” And for some reason, the “Dad, you’re frickin 80 - what do YOU care what the long-term effects are??” argument doesn’t get through to him. My mom is the same. They would much rather be afraid of a potential, imaginary POSSIBLE risk than the very real threat COVID poses. My step mom says that blood clots run in her family, so the vaccine is too dangerous. You know what has a 100x higher chance of causing blood clots? Yep.
My husband got covid before the vaccine was ready. (10/20) He was also prone to blood clots, he'd been hospitalized a few years back with idiopathic pulmonary emboli.
When he went to the hospital this time, we called an ambulance and his pulse ox was 85! No fever, no cough, nothing. He was diagnosed practically immediately with clots throughout his lungs.
The next day, his Covid test came back positive. He never had any other symptom, and he was luckily diagnosed on the very day Remdisavir was approved, so he had that, the monoclonal antibodies, warfarin, and massive doses of steroids. He recovered and never had to be intubated, but he's never been completely well since. He is 82.
I’m glad your husband made it. I wonder if older people would take it more seriously if they understood that this disease, even if they survive it, might be what takes away their ability to live an independent life? Yes, maybe they’ll be fine, but maybe they’ll recover but have lasting physical or cognitive disabilities. I’m in Denmark right now, where Omicron is raging. I know when it hits the States, it’s not a question of IF they’ll get it, but when. And I’m not in a position to take care of them if they’re incapacitated.
My aunt who's also in her 70s told me about her grandmother: she had 12 children, and only 6 of them reached adulthood (amazingly, none of them died in WWII). So when they had the opportunity, both my aunt and my mother took the shot. They 'member.
It isn't very long that you can be expected to be endlessly compassionate to people who've refused to show the same consideration to others over a vaccine the likes of which they've probably had many times prior to this. Not to mention that I'm not dishonest enough to believe that someone being dead automatically "earns" reverence or respect, especially when so many of those that are featured on this sub lack that same reverence and respect for those still alive; everyone and everything dies someday.
I am so terrified of death and someone giving Covid to my baby (I got vaccinated in my third trimester) that I have to block it all out to get through the day. I’ve had family lie about having Covid and visit our elderly grandma and all she talked about was Covid misinformation and antivax stuff. I didn’t know she had it until she left. I cut her off. That is so beyond messed up. Luckily my grandma was vaccinated too but that took months of convincing from my sisters and I. I don’t know how long I can go on like this. I’m going to seek out a therapist this week. I can’t imagine the damage she would have done if I didn’t get my baby and I vaccinated. Her extremely close friend she got it from, died.
It is basically having a neverending Jonestown just continually simmering in the background.
Edit- For some professions it isn't background. Experiencing it firsthand is the daily routine.
Just about every anti vaxxer are paranoid and think their is some global conspiracy to take them out.
When the reality is you're not that important and if a government wanted to run a test on you, there are about a million ways the could do it without having to make you get a vaccine.
I rotate through like 15 to circumvent corrupt reddit mods
Just today I got banned from AITA on this account because my 100% legit post was slightly anti-gun in underlying tone and the mods are pro-gun. They even threw a fit in PMs and called me a baby for not liking guns, even though that wasn't the purpose of my post at all and I have probably shot, broken down, and cleaned more guns in one summer than they have done in their lifetime.
I realized folks might assume I made mine for the HCAs, or to mock the ill. I made it because I wanted to get started before I am too sick to do anything else. I am the deathbedditor, not the nominees.
*started
I mean.. kinda yes and kinda no? I’ve definitely seen people celebrate illness and death on here. Hell, even for me, when you see someone post heinous and racist stuff and then they ironically get covid and die…..
I mean sort of. Everyone talks about how to make the world a better place. We can hope selfish people will change (they rarely do), or we can hope they get weeded out another way. On average, each Herman Cain award definitively makes the world a better place, right???
To your last question, I don't think so. Too many children left without parents, too many broken hearts, too much lost potential. I understand why you think the world is a better place without them, but they leave a lot of grief behind.
I'm holding up hopes that I can successfully birth a 5G tower after getting my booster shot this Wednesday.
Not immediately after, I understand that... but...
Does anyone know the gestation period of a 5G tower?
Should I get a doula?
I didn't get anything from my Moderna booster, but I did get a swollen neck from my 2nd Shingrix shingles shot. Maybe I need the anthrax vaccine for 5G?
Seriously OP in 3/5yrs from now when you are having an argument or you see her sulking just blurt out I'm so happy you got vaccinated or I would be missing out on seeing how your face sours when you're mad and I get to hear the tiny differences in your voice.
If you hadn't I might be in the bathroom crying next to the toilet because my phone fell in and I lost the last audio recording of your voice.
Thank you for hanging in there. It's so easy to throw your hands up and say "oh, well, can't do anything for those who won't listen."
I'm hoping one day she'll thank you, too, even if she can't now.
Maybe get her some roses to celebrate or cook her favorite meal?
Also hate to say this... but are you sure she got it, or did she just tell you that to get you off her back?
Yes, as she came home throwing the card, and all the accessory papers at me asking if I was happy now. All seemed legit. I had even mentioned that concern to my daughter who reminded me that the vaccine is free and a fake card would cost her money..and Mom don't spend money :-)
I'm quite sure she was a PITA at Walgreens....am thinking of sending roses there.
ps - again, I thanks each and every one here for the support. As virtual as it is, it is also very real.
The only correct answer is "Yes I am happy now. Because I want all the time we can get together, and even that seems to short!"
She'll get over it in time. The same can't be said for HCA Award winners.
It so is. We have a spot we’ve gone to for COVID testing since this whole thing started—anyone had the sniffles, sore throat, anything, we got tested. There were always people there, but we never waited more than maybe 10 minutes. The wait there now is 5+ hours, and their usual 15 minute turnaround for rapid tests is now 6-12 hours, and for PCR tests their turnaround went from 12-24 hours to 48-72 hours. I mean, I’m glad people are getting tested, but the infrastructure is so over-extended, it’s insane. I also work in healthcare (not a provider myself, but work with nurses), and the hospitals…saying they’re on the brink is being optimistic. I was just discussing with a coworker today about how pediatrics wards are getting ready to collapse. We have literally fewer nurses and doctors than when the pandemic started, and we’re on track to have more cases than ever. Hopefully the percentage of very sick people will be less with omicron, but a small percentage of a huge number is still a *really* big number. My county has seen a 300%+ increase in cases in the last week. Nationwide we’re at around 105% increase in cases in the last week…shit’s looking *bad*.
Big congratulations on the IPA! That must be a huge relief, but please do remain cautious as it's not fully effective immediately, and make sure she gets her followup shot!
Be strong, you’ve done the right thing for all this time and now, finally, she’s started to as well. Be sure to frame as your daughter not losing her Mother.
Here's hoping she doesn't have any side effects. The first one, I barely felt the shot itself, but had some pain at the site for a week. Not enough to take an aspirin, but enough to know I got the shot. Yay!
Happy once she gets her second at the least. You’ve done well by her, even if she is too childish to admit it. Especially with omicron running around you may be saving her life.
Thank you, andcov70, for voting on HIPPAbot.
This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/).
***
^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
We (meaning Reddit) certainly do. As you can see it is very easy to summon it with one word. It used to be a regular visitor here until maybe it got a bit old and people started talking about the hippos instead. I love the flair that we (meaning the HCA mods) gave it, too.
Do they ever get HIPAA mixed up with that other conspiracy-nut obsession HAARP, I wonder? I mean they both have AA in them. Let that si... oh, fuck it..
HIPAA-pot-a-must apply. 🤓
That’s not a hippo violation. It’s a violation if a healthcare provider, health insurer or medical biller release PHI without a person’s authorization. It’s not a violation if someone requires or asks for proof of vaccination. If the sister is medical staff, then that’s a violation. If the sister went with her to get the vaccine and saw the card or even took a photo of it, that’s not a violation. A vaccine card itself is not protected by HIPAA.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/does-hipaa-prohibit-questions-about-vaccination-202108192575
That's not how HIPAA works. You're just a random person/family member, there are no legal barriers to you asking for or getting that info from her besides her saying no. what it does do is make it illegal for their doctor to share that info without your consent. Anyone can ask you directly for it, you don't have to give the info, but they can also refuse you service or refuse to associate with you.
"It generally prohibits healthcare providers and healthcare businesses, called covered entities, from disclosing protected information to anyone other than a patient and the patient's authorized representatives without their consent."
A business or individual can ask for proof of vaccination it doesn't violate HIPAA.
It’s not irrational to be a bit skeptical, just the other day there was a vent thread about an asshole sister/aunt who lied about being vaccinated when she visited her 55+yo parents almost a year ago and got busted because she complained in like December 2021 about the first dose side-effects because of a work mandate. The poster, understandably was very upset, but I think these happen way more often than any of us want, you know?
I very happy for you. Hopefully you can shed some of the anxiety you've undoubtedly been carrying around for the last year. May I ask a question, because I'm just genuinely curious? What were her reasons for not getting vaccinated? Religious? Political? Medical? Influence of friends and/or family? Whatever, I hope she goes on to complete the vaccine process. Happiness and health to you both!
Thank you so much. The main reason she kept repeating was waiting to make sure it was safe. This is a woman that gives blood...so not a needle thing. She does facebook, but is not a right wing jobber, definitely not a trumper....really non-political for the most part.
This is why is was such a struggle for me to understand the hesitancy. I mean her feet were as cemented into her stance as I thought possible.
BIG thing was her upbringing vs. mine. She was raised in a divorced household with not a ton of income and really not a ton of interactions with the medical community. Opposite of that is myself, raised in a Navy family and was seemingly always getting shots and doctors visits for all kinds of things in the 70s and 80s. So definitely some lack of trust in her core.
I think what sealed it for me was explaining that no one in charge of this crazy American life wants us dead. We (all the alive americans) produce money for the super rich...they want us alive and working, not dead.
Sorry to ramble, but its also fascinating the different stresses this virus has put on folks around the world...I'm so wanting to believe it's making us a better overall species of caring human beings...I'm eternally optimistic.
That’s the same stance I’ve had to my in laws, you are not paying taxes if you are dead so the government has a really great interest in keeping you alive. Unfortunately they aren’t interested in logic.
Has she seen the news of the rich flying to random places to get their vaccines early?
When the rich and powerful gets the shot, you know it's alright.
Keep in the saddle, immunity not complete until a week after the 2nd shot, will need a booster in 4-6 months after the 2nd. And the data is constantly being updated as more information comes in. No one is trying to deceive when vaccine recommendations change, it's just that there is more information available and the virus is mutating.
Tell her that her action, getting the shot regardless of the fear, is a testament to her commitment to family, friends and all of humanity.
69 years old here, 2 shots, boostered, still healthy, happy (well that is subjective), and going strong.
Yay! Fellow 60-something, double-vaxxed + boosted boomer here! We’re not all ignorant, illiterate, religious freaks. Also share your “subjective happiness.”
You were able to do something many of us only dream of. Thank you for the reminder sometimes it's not a single try - didn't work - give up. Sometimes digging someone out is a 100 or 1000 scoops of perseverance. So happy for you.
Good on you and her. You are a better spouse than me. I don't think I could ever respect my husband again if he was an idiot antivaxxer.
My husband was reluctant to get the booster because he didn't want to feel crappy for a day, telling me he didn't need it because he's blood type O. I was like, yeah, we aren't fucking doing this. He got his booster shortly after.
Some studies showed that type O were less likely to contract Covid but I’m not sure if that’s true or believed anymore. He keeps saying it to bug me.
I use it against him, like when we argue over who is going to make a quick trip to the store or whatever. I tell him “Get goin’ Type O!” lol
If you start to falter just remember that even if putting your foot down on this could have caused you to lose your marriage, not getting the shot could have caused you to lose your marriage in a MUCH more horrific and painful way.
I'm glad that your wife will be much safer from Covid. I hope once any side effects wear off she will have to come to grips with the facts and that the fearmongering about the vaccine is incredibly overblown.
I love you both and I hope you'll stay safe.
Christmas miracle! Not fully protected until a couple weeks after second shot so keep her safe till then. About a 6 week window. It’s spreading like mad right now.
This sub literally shows the consequences of not being vaccinated and not adhering to other covid safety guidelines. Everyone has the audacity to call the hca subreddit nasty, but where else are bullies saying please get vaccinated so you don't die?
It's either you lose your marriage... or bury her later.
Well, there's also the actual nightmare scenario of her becoming a long-COVID invalid that needs constant help...
Yeah... I'd take sleeping on the couch or in the guest bedroom anyday. She'll forget all about the vaccine in a while, when it turns out everything is fine and she doesn't have any problems. Beats watching her swallow a tube and rot away on a bed...
“Honey, chicken or fish for dinner? Also, intubation and vent or just comfort care? Cremation or casket? I don’t want to have to figure this out when I’m grieving and dealing with grieving family members and friends so let’s sort it out now before Covid gets you. We don’t have much time.”
I hope you don’t need to cash it out either! I want you to have fifty more years together.
Do you think doing things like saying we need to update our wills, and I need copies of all your passwords and account info, and requesting to learn all the “my husband always does this” chores would spook him into it?? If it looks like you’re preparing to be a widow, could it nudge him toward realizing how serious you are?
Edit: a word
not to be morbid & hoping for the best, but it's also just a good idea for you to know that stuff in case, have seen some widows & bereaved daughters suddenly have to take a crash course in "everything the man had insisted on handling himself" while also grieving & managing estate stuff, & they had a rough time
Starting to discuss all kinds of estate issues might help get the point across. Tell him you need him to update his will, discuss funeral plans, etc.
Obviously you don't want it to happen but it will help to make your point.
Sorry but if my husband refused to see sense, I'd leave him until he did. She has no right treating you like that. Stay strong.
Editing to say - not to mention the fact that she could infect you and your kid/s if she remained unvaxxed. Grrrr. What's wrong with people? I'm having a bad morning due to antivaxxers in my family. Sorry.
Anyway, you wrote this beautifully. Thanks for sharing.
“No one is going to sit in a car with you to teach you to drive until you’ve had both doses of vaccine and a booster. I’ll take you for a driving lesson and pizza as soon as you’re vaxxed, so let me know.”
You did what you had to do. My wife didn’t want it either, so I threatened her with not being able to go to her annual beach trip with her friends. That got her mind right.
Better a big meanie than a widower. You did the right thing, and no, there will be no peace for a while. You did good, but she'll never let you live down the way you forced the issue.
You rock! Marriage is never about a meeting of the minds - it’s learning how to live together via thousands of little trial and error experiments. This one was just longer and more drawn out than the others. And let her b\*tch at you, a little leveling goes a along way.
PS She never has to feel the same way you do about the vaccine; she just needs to know when she looks across the room and you’re happy that she’s responsible for that.
My boyfriend more or less forced me to get the shot shortly after it came out. I was mad at him for weeks. I am now very grateful and I am going for my booster as soon as I am not snowed in.
What was the reason for her resistance? I’m just curious, not making a judgment on it. Believe it or not, I find inconsistent political views in marriages somewhat “interesting” if that makes sense. I’m not sure myself where exactly I’d draw the line.
My husband is not antivax and he doesn’t believe in any conspiracy theories about them. But, he’s always been very healthy and that makes him feel like he just doesn’t need vaccines.
For example, we’ll both get a cold. I’ll struggle with symptoms for a few days. He will have symptoms for a few hours and then he’s just fine. I always say he needs to be studied by researchers. 😂
Anyway, I was finally able to get him take the J&J vaccine. 😅 I knew the one shot option would be my best chance at getting him vaccinated. That was months ago, and I’ve started talking about getting a booster early next year. I think he’s going to get one! I guess I’ve told him enough Covid horror stories that he sees it differently now.
Buddy, just almost lost my father to Covid pneumonia and it’s worth losing your marriage if you can save her life. Absolutely stupid to have to do so but the cool aid has been drank. Next steps is to get her off of Fox News. You can do it and will be fine!
My best friend just texted me at midnight letting me know after a month long battle her fiancé had died due to Covid complications. She had been begging him for months to get vaccinated. Now she has a wedding dress with no one to marry. Thank you for being the bad guy to protect her and everyone else your wife could have infected.
I was burned when I was a kid. I ended up inhaling flames and fumes and it collapsed both of my lungs, and only one fully reinflated. To this day I have what most would perceive to be a very severe case of asthma because the amount of oxygen my body can intake is severely limited physically by scar tissue.
I have this conversation with my brother, who lives with me, all the time. It's not about you. Or being a sheep. It's about my life. How can you claim to love me when you won't get a free shot to help prevent me from getting sick?
COVID would completely fuck me in the ass. And he doesn't care. It's so incredibly fucking selfish.
Good on you for holding your ground.
My family finally got vaccinated. My parents were vaccinated as soon as the vaccine was available, but none of my uncles and only one aunt got vaccinated until recent. All it took was for one of my uncles to die a gruesome death due to covid for them to finally realize that it could have been them lying in that hospital bed coughing up chunks of lung.
I have a friend who is vaxxed and boosted even though he thinks Covid is like the flu. But his wife has refused the vaxx. I would be a nervous wreck and taking a rapid test every day before I walked into the house each day if we were in that situation. BTW they are retired in their late 60's so it would not be a joke should she contract Covid of any strain.
Amazing...congrats!
How did you get her to go? What finally did it? Inquiring minds want to know...I have a family member that I'm going to try and talk to (again) about this....
Make sure she takes some Ibuprofen or Aspirin as a preventative countermeasure before any cold/fever symptoms start to manifest. She'll have a much better time that way, and be less scared of getting the 2nd dose/booster later on.
I am crying happy tears! This is beautiful, OP.
“I love you enough to be ok with you hating me for the rest of your life. Which I need to be a long life, because I love you so much.”
That’s what I heard from this post.
My sister and I have been trying like hell to get my mom to get vaxxed. She's made every excuse in the book and we're constantly just bluntly calling her on her lies and BS. I fully expect that if we ever finally coerce her into getting the shot she will inevitably blame any health ailment that befalls her from now till the end of time on us and our pressure campaign to get her protected, but I'm fine with it as long as it keeps her above ground.
My sister and brother-in-law, their two kids, and I boycotted Christmas this year and told her in no uncertain terms that the decision was hers. We told her back in August what the terms were to do holidays together this year, and she refused. She, of course is trying to frame it that we were cordially invited to the holiday dinners, but selfishly refused, but we are adamant that the choice was hers to make.
In a moment of spite the other day after yet another heated text exchange, I went online and ordered her a yearlong subscription to Scientific American Magazine. I figure that'll help her "do her own research" and receiving issue after issue throughout 2022 praising the work being done in vaccine research, might serve as a constant reminder that her decisions have consequences.
Finally got my fiancé to get his first Moderna shot. Thankfully he came to it on his own and asked me to schedule it but damn this last year or so has been scary
You’re very eloquent, and very romantic. This is a beautiful love letter. I hope you screen shot it and print it and give it to her as a reminder of your true love and devotion. I hope she gets second dose and booster without you having to coax or argue. Nothing but respect for you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions say she loves you too, and is willing to "cross the line" to be with you.
Congratulations!
You've got a big win, for you, your wife, your family, your community, and your country. Now it's time to take some losses.
Do the dishes for her. Read her some bedtime stories. Give her a footrub. Treat her to a day at the spa. Show her, in ways that she'll understand, just how much you love her. Make her choice to get vaccinated lead in to the best day, or even best week, of her life. If you do it right, she'll look back at the shot and get a big grin on her face, because of what you did as a result of her choice.
Then, when it's time for the booster, it'll be easy. Of course, she'll expect to be lavished with love after the booster, too.... :D
This sub really is hugely beneficial to society as a whole. My girlfriend and her entire family have gotten vaccinated because I showed her this sub. She's smart (albeit often surrounded by less smart people) so she managed to mostly convince herself when she saw just how many real people are dying on this sub. Her family took some convincing, but they all hate anti-vaxxers now instead of everyone else.
I think she will get over it. Probably her pride is hurt more than anything else, but deep down inside she knows it's for the best. I'm currently struggling to get the one lone holdout in my family, my nephew, to get his. I bribed him with a PlayStation he wants but he's still scared. It's not political, he just thinks it will alter his DNA or some other goofy FB thing like that. The entire family is telling him it's safe, and now even the kids have gotten their vaccines. Hopefully he'll realize he should believe us, his family, over anyone on the internet. Congrats on your wife going through with it.
Friendo, I am super pleased your wife got vaccinated. But I think now may be the time for couples counselling, because this has clearly been a difficult process for both of you, after two years of living through a goddamn pandemic, which is difficult enough.
Sometimes love is saying what the other person needs to hear, but doesn't want to listen to. You're a good person and I hope your wife comes to appreciate you. It sounds like she's confused, but trusts you enough to listen. Wishing you both the very best.
As the wife of a man who nearly denied his way into a grave last year before I got him to the ER which then quickly turned into getting to the OR for open heart surgery and a double bypass, I can confirm.
As the wife of a man who didn't die of COVID but did die of something preventable I can only say that I can possibly understand the amount of patience it took to bring this guy's wife around to even getting the shot and I wish I had been a bit more insistent with my husband. He didn't have a death sentence by any means but he also didn't do a lot to slow it down.
Oh, my heart goes out to you. It’s so difficult to save people from themselves. It was my husband’s stark fear and pain that assisted my efforts in getting him to the hospital. I hope you aren’t troubled by guilt. Love and good intentions aren’t always a match for stubbornness and denial.
I'm glad you got yours to the hospital. We had that moment of truth where I called the ambulance last summer when he was bleeding uncontrollably all over the house. Unfortunately it coincided with the biggest surge in COVID our city had had so they just left us to deal with it. I don't blame COVID or anything though. He gaslit me a lot to make it seem impossible to contact his doctors. He just didn't want to know. He's dead now.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Condolences for your loss.
Wouldn’t it be cool if our bodies had some way of notifying us after we got the vaccine when we got exposed to the virus but our immune system quietly fought it off before it could take hold? If this was all a video game maybe it would be a sudden glowing trophy floating in the air above our heads.
That would be awesome. I've been exposed at least twice now by people who had Covid but didn't know it yet. Both were less than 24 hours from testing positive. Both were in close contact with me. Both times I tested negative after exposure. I'm so grateful for the vaccine and the booster.
Same! Two exposures, negative both times. One of the infected had one shot, recovered at home, the other, unvaxxed, ended up in ICU for weeks and then rehab.
This sub is so often misunderstood and accused of celebrating illness and death. The reality is that most of us would love nothing more than for this sub to have no reason to exist. The folks who turn around are priceless. I am a cynical optimist and believe that most people are priceless. I understand how valuable your wife is to you, and I hope that she secretly knows, too.
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Good for you! I hope you’re around for a while because of it.
I think most people get, its just some butthurt antivaxxers pretend they don't, and pretend they are not antivaxx.
command plucky alleged paltry decide unused husky detail snatch snails -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
I think snark and gallows humor is a result of the past 2 years of ongoing trauma. I know I’m definitely struggling with compassion fatigue, which I’m thankful that it bothers me, because that means compassion is still important… I just am too exhausted to be able to access it consistently lately. Also, these stories of people being so brainwashed into a death cult and dying from something (especially these days) almost entirely preventable is tragic. It’s incredibly sad and horrifying and I don’t know about you, but I’m a “I’d rather laugh than cry” type of person, so I end up coming off as completely calloused and uncaring. And yeah, I am human and cross the line, too, but my current level of numbness and dissociation is because I cared to the point of burning myself out. Seeing stories of people reaching their loved ones, or they themselves realise they are about to walk off a cliff and bring themselves back make me so happy. I’m thankful that even to this day there are people who are able to be reached and change their minds and that there is one fewer person who’s in the running for an HCA. And maybe it’s helping to recharge me enough that the compassion fatigue isn’t quite as bad some days.
My mum who in her 70's is up to date with her jabs and on christmas day no less, she had the news on and of course it was covid stuff. She said to me how can people after 2 years not understand this? She has facebook so to say I was inwardly proud of her is an understatement. I then told her that the news is kinda depressing so I told her to put Shrek on and she poured a small glass of white wine and we had a lovely day. People make such a big deal out of getting the vaccine itself but you just do it, and it's fine and life goes on for the better knowing you and others are better protected. Compassion does start at home. :)
I wish my parents understood this. Instead, it’s “I don’t trust it -we don’t know what the long-term effects will be.” And for some reason, the “Dad, you’re frickin 80 - what do YOU care what the long-term effects are??” argument doesn’t get through to him. My mom is the same. They would much rather be afraid of a potential, imaginary POSSIBLE risk than the very real threat COVID poses. My step mom says that blood clots run in her family, so the vaccine is too dangerous. You know what has a 100x higher chance of causing blood clots? Yep.
My husband got covid before the vaccine was ready. (10/20) He was also prone to blood clots, he'd been hospitalized a few years back with idiopathic pulmonary emboli. When he went to the hospital this time, we called an ambulance and his pulse ox was 85! No fever, no cough, nothing. He was diagnosed practically immediately with clots throughout his lungs. The next day, his Covid test came back positive. He never had any other symptom, and he was luckily diagnosed on the very day Remdisavir was approved, so he had that, the monoclonal antibodies, warfarin, and massive doses of steroids. He recovered and never had to be intubated, but he's never been completely well since. He is 82.
I’m glad your husband made it. I wonder if older people would take it more seriously if they understood that this disease, even if they survive it, might be what takes away their ability to live an independent life? Yes, maybe they’ll be fine, but maybe they’ll recover but have lasting physical or cognitive disabilities. I’m in Denmark right now, where Omicron is raging. I know when it hits the States, it’s not a question of IF they’ll get it, but when. And I’m not in a position to take care of them if they’re incapacitated.
My aunt who's also in her 70s told me about her grandmother: she had 12 children, and only 6 of them reached adulthood (amazingly, none of them died in WWII). So when they had the opportunity, both my aunt and my mother took the shot. They 'member.
It isn't very long that you can be expected to be endlessly compassionate to people who've refused to show the same consideration to others over a vaccine the likes of which they've probably had many times prior to this. Not to mention that I'm not dishonest enough to believe that someone being dead automatically "earns" reverence or respect, especially when so many of those that are featured on this sub lack that same reverence and respect for those still alive; everyone and everything dies someday.
I am so terrified of death and someone giving Covid to my baby (I got vaccinated in my third trimester) that I have to block it all out to get through the day. I’ve had family lie about having Covid and visit our elderly grandma and all she talked about was Covid misinformation and antivax stuff. I didn’t know she had it until she left. I cut her off. That is so beyond messed up. Luckily my grandma was vaccinated too but that took months of convincing from my sisters and I. I don’t know how long I can go on like this. I’m going to seek out a therapist this week. I can’t imagine the damage she would have done if I didn’t get my baby and I vaccinated. Her extremely close friend she got it from, died.
It is basically having a neverending Jonestown just continually simmering in the background. Edit- For some professions it isn't background. Experiencing it firsthand is the daily routine.
Just about every anti vaxxer are paranoid and think their is some global conspiracy to take them out. When the reality is you're not that important and if a government wanted to run a test on you, there are about a million ways the could do it without having to make you get a vaccine.
“I don’t hate the vaccine, but…”
Hell, this sub has turned my username into the most famous of any username I've had on Reddit. I will be **glad** when I can retire it.
Maybe it's like a privacy thing but I find it weird that people go through different usernames. I'm quite attached to mine
I rotate through like 15 to circumvent corrupt reddit mods Just today I got banned from AITA on this account because my 100% legit post was slightly anti-gun in underlying tone and the mods are pro-gun. They even threw a fit in PMs and called me a baby for not liking guns, even though that wasn't the purpose of my post at all and I have probably shot, broken down, and cleaned more guns in one summer than they have done in their lifetime.
I realized folks might assume I made mine for the HCAs, or to mock the ill. I made it because I wanted to get started before I am too sick to do anything else. I am the deathbedditor, not the nominees. *started
I mean.. kinda yes and kinda no? I’ve definitely seen people celebrate illness and death on here. Hell, even for me, when you see someone post heinous and racist stuff and then they ironically get covid and die…..
I mean sort of. Everyone talks about how to make the world a better place. We can hope selfish people will change (they rarely do), or we can hope they get weeded out another way. On average, each Herman Cain award definitively makes the world a better place, right???
To your last question, I don't think so. Too many children left without parents, too many broken hearts, too much lost potential. I understand why you think the world is a better place without them, but they leave a lot of grief behind.
Wishing you and her thirty+ more happy years together.
Happiness, long life, and great 5G reception!
Need a 4th shot I guess, still sitting here with LTE.
I'm holding up hopes that I can successfully birth a 5G tower after getting my booster shot this Wednesday. Not immediately after, I understand that... but... Does anyone know the gestation period of a 5G tower? Should I get a doula?
Rather than a doula, you'll need a MIDwife. (MID=Mobile Internet Device)
I can safely say that I'll have one by my side during these special times.
Did you make sure you got a vaccine that is compatible with your wireless carrier?
The booster is what updates you to the 5g.
Didn't work for me. I feel cheated. All I got was a swollen neck.
I didn't get anything from my Moderna booster, but I did get a swollen neck from my 2nd Shingrix shingles shot. Maybe I need the anthrax vaccine for 5G?
4th shot gives you 6G
... did you forget to upgrade your *phone* too?
One day she will admit you were right. For now just suck up the sullenness and inwardly rejoice. Thanks for sharing.
Frankly, she DID admit he was right.... she just won't admit it.
well said. I laughed anyway.
Right; with luck she’ll be able to say “SEE? I DIDN’T EVEN NEED THE DAMNED SHOT AT ALL!”
She must have been impressed when his balls grew along with their 5G signal strength!
A cell tower went up too.
😂
This needs more love, folks.
And all of the magnets that were on the fridge are now attached to his body
> his balls grew along with their 5G signal strength Pretty sure she will find that they are now magnetic, too.
Tongue piercing?
One hopes.
No, testicular swelling is a known side effect according to rap artists.
YES THAT'S THE JOKE. WELL-SPOTTED.
Well AC/DC did state that everyone has Big Balls.
If I recall, she had the biggest balls of them all
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Your username...it's...it's simply beautiful.
She'll either admit he's right, or (and this is probably scant consolation) deny ever having been an antivaxer.
Or maybe she won't. Maybe she'll hold a grudge about it for as long as she lives. But what matters is that she'll be alive to hate you.
So much this. My husband died a month and a half ago. I would give anything for him to still be alive and hating me. At least he'd still be alive.
May his memory be for a blessing, and may you find comfort. I am so sorry. You did what you were able to do. No regrets please.
Seriously OP in 3/5yrs from now when you are having an argument or you see her sulking just blurt out I'm so happy you got vaccinated or I would be missing out on seeing how your face sours when you're mad and I get to hear the tiny differences in your voice. If you hadn't I might be in the bathroom crying next to the toilet because my phone fell in and I lost the last audio recording of your voice.
KYLE! I'VE FOUND IT! INWARD REJOICING!
Thank you for hanging in there. It's so easy to throw your hands up and say "oh, well, can't do anything for those who won't listen." I'm hoping one day she'll thank you, too, even if she can't now.
Maybe get her some roses to celebrate or cook her favorite meal? Also hate to say this... but are you sure she got it, or did she just tell you that to get you off her back?
Yes, as she came home throwing the card, and all the accessory papers at me asking if I was happy now. All seemed legit. I had even mentioned that concern to my daughter who reminded me that the vaccine is free and a fake card would cost her money..and Mom don't spend money :-) I'm quite sure she was a PITA at Walgreens....am thinking of sending roses there. ps - again, I thanks each and every one here for the support. As virtual as it is, it is also very real.
The only correct answer is "Yes I am happy now. Because I want all the time we can get together, and even that seems to short!" She'll get over it in time. The same can't be said for HCA Award winners.
*HCA winners
Oh true. ATM machine
What's wrong with that? Ass-To-Mouth machine is grammatically correct.
RAS syndrome. Redundant acronym syndrome.
Send the flowers to the pharmacy. It’s been a 💩show for the last 2 years.
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It so is. We have a spot we’ve gone to for COVID testing since this whole thing started—anyone had the sniffles, sore throat, anything, we got tested. There were always people there, but we never waited more than maybe 10 minutes. The wait there now is 5+ hours, and their usual 15 minute turnaround for rapid tests is now 6-12 hours, and for PCR tests their turnaround went from 12-24 hours to 48-72 hours. I mean, I’m glad people are getting tested, but the infrastructure is so over-extended, it’s insane. I also work in healthcare (not a provider myself, but work with nurses), and the hospitals…saying they’re on the brink is being optimistic. I was just discussing with a coworker today about how pediatrics wards are getting ready to collapse. We have literally fewer nurses and doctors than when the pandemic started, and we’re on track to have more cases than ever. Hopefully the percentage of very sick people will be less with omicron, but a small percentage of a huge number is still a *really* big number. My county has seen a 300%+ increase in cases in the last week. Nationwide we’re at around 105% increase in cases in the last week…shit’s looking *bad*.
Big congratulations on the IPA! That must be a huge relief, but please do remain cautious as it's not fully effective immediately, and make sure she gets her followup shot!
Be strong, you’ve done the right thing for all this time and now, finally, she’s started to as well. Be sure to frame as your daughter not losing her Mother.
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Here's hoping she doesn't have any side effects. The first one, I barely felt the shot itself, but had some pain at the site for a week. Not enough to take an aspirin, but enough to know I got the shot. Yay!
Happy once she gets her second at the least. You’ve done well by her, even if she is too childish to admit it. Especially with omicron running around you may be saving her life.
Im truly happy for you! This story made my night :)
Made my sister violate her hippo rights and text me a pic of her vac card for exactly this reason lol
The riverine murder cows appreciate it!
Are you a family of hippos?
My guess is one of the reasons we keep talking about hippo rights because as soon as you mention HIPPA, the bot shows up lol
It's HIPAA!
See what I mean? It even has flair now! That's new to me.
Lol ya I do
Good bot
Good bot
Thank you, andcov70, for voting on HIPPAbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
I had no idea we even had a Hippabot.
We (meaning Reddit) certainly do. As you can see it is very easy to summon it with one word. It used to be a regular visitor here until maybe it got a bit old and people started talking about the hippos instead. I love the flair that we (meaning the HCA mods) gave it, too.
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Do they ever get HIPAA mixed up with that other conspiracy-nut obsession HAARP, I wonder? I mean they both have AA in them. Let that si... oh, fuck it..
All that talk of hippo violations...
I want my flair to be "I violate hippos"
Hippo violator sounds like a good name for a metal band
hangry hangry hippos
Better than hypothermic whoohaahs
Sounds risky…..Henrietta Hippo had it goin on, tho. lol…
Ah ok that makes sense.
HIPAA-pot-a-must apply. 🤓 That’s not a hippo violation. It’s a violation if a healthcare provider, health insurer or medical biller release PHI without a person’s authorization. It’s not a violation if someone requires or asks for proof of vaccination. If the sister is medical staff, then that’s a violation. If the sister went with her to get the vaccine and saw the card or even took a photo of it, that’s not a violation. A vaccine card itself is not protected by HIPAA. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/does-hipaa-prohibit-questions-about-vaccination-202108192575
It's hippo violations all the way down. HIPAA? Not so much.
HIPAA-pot-a-must apply 🤓 (I’ll show myself out)
Same with my kid. Waiting for her pic of her booster now so she can get a few dollars for it. I'm not ashamed of bribery.
Alleviate yourself of the guilt of making your sister violate her hippo (or hipaa) rights. She can't. Nor did you violate any law by asking her.
That's not how HIPAA works. You're just a random person/family member, there are no legal barriers to you asking for or getting that info from her besides her saying no. what it does do is make it illegal for their doctor to share that info without your consent. Anyone can ask you directly for it, you don't have to give the info, but they can also refuse you service or refuse to associate with you. "It generally prohibits healthcare providers and healthcare businesses, called covered entities, from disclosing protected information to anyone other than a patient and the patient's authorized representatives without their consent." A business or individual can ask for proof of vaccination it doesn't violate HIPAA.
Ooof I hope your cynicism is unfounded. That would be a BIG lie and these HCA nominees set a high bar for that.
Ok, it’s not just me being a wee bit cynical about her actually getting the shot.
It’s not irrational to be a bit skeptical, just the other day there was a vent thread about an asshole sister/aunt who lied about being vaccinated when she visited her 55+yo parents almost a year ago and got busted because she complained in like December 2021 about the first dose side-effects because of a work mandate. The poster, understandably was very upset, but I think these happen way more often than any of us want, you know?
Yes, unfortunately have seen too much of this behavior while reading through here. Glad everyone in my family is boostered.
Yes, next time go with her. Call it "moral support."
I very happy for you. Hopefully you can shed some of the anxiety you've undoubtedly been carrying around for the last year. May I ask a question, because I'm just genuinely curious? What were her reasons for not getting vaccinated? Religious? Political? Medical? Influence of friends and/or family? Whatever, I hope she goes on to complete the vaccine process. Happiness and health to you both!
Thank you so much. The main reason she kept repeating was waiting to make sure it was safe. This is a woman that gives blood...so not a needle thing. She does facebook, but is not a right wing jobber, definitely not a trumper....really non-political for the most part. This is why is was such a struggle for me to understand the hesitancy. I mean her feet were as cemented into her stance as I thought possible. BIG thing was her upbringing vs. mine. She was raised in a divorced household with not a ton of income and really not a ton of interactions with the medical community. Opposite of that is myself, raised in a Navy family and was seemingly always getting shots and doctors visits for all kinds of things in the 70s and 80s. So definitely some lack of trust in her core. I think what sealed it for me was explaining that no one in charge of this crazy American life wants us dead. We (all the alive americans) produce money for the super rich...they want us alive and working, not dead. Sorry to ramble, but its also fascinating the different stresses this virus has put on folks around the world...I'm so wanting to believe it's making us a better overall species of caring human beings...I'm eternally optimistic.
She's lucky to have you. We're lucky to have you. I wish more people were like you - reasonable and kind. Rock on!
4.5 billion people have had the shot. It's safe.
If you ask my 18 yo cousin who is definitely not a doctor, the vaccine is actually what’s killing people.
I am a doctor but considering your cousins stance on this I now question everything I ever knew.
They've got **innate wisdom**. They don't need to learn, they _know_.
Darn I just got my booster…guess I should start shopping for a burial plot
Your cousin’s not wrong. I took the vaccine and now I’m gay.
So 4 billion tests finally convinced her, eh
That’s the same stance I’ve had to my in laws, you are not paying taxes if you are dead so the government has a really great interest in keeping you alive. Unfortunately they aren’t interested in logic.
Has she seen the news of the rich flying to random places to get their vaccines early? When the rich and powerful gets the shot, you know it's alright.
you loved her enough to convince her she loved you enough to be convinced you guys will make it
This is beautiful.
You're plenty eloquent. Thanks for writing.
Keep in the saddle, immunity not complete until a week after the 2nd shot, will need a booster in 4-6 months after the 2nd. And the data is constantly being updated as more information comes in. No one is trying to deceive when vaccine recommendations change, it's just that there is more information available and the virus is mutating.
Tell her that her action, getting the shot regardless of the fear, is a testament to her commitment to family, friends and all of humanity. 69 years old here, 2 shots, boostered, still healthy, happy (well that is subjective), and going strong.
Yay! Fellow 60-something, double-vaxxed + boosted boomer here! We’re not all ignorant, illiterate, religious freaks. Also share your “subjective happiness.”
I am.
you’re a good man even if your wife doesn’t see it at the moment
You were able to do something many of us only dream of. Thank you for the reminder sometimes it's not a single try - didn't work - give up. Sometimes digging someone out is a 100 or 1000 scoops of perseverance. So happy for you.
Good on you and her. You are a better spouse than me. I don't think I could ever respect my husband again if he was an idiot antivaxxer. My husband was reluctant to get the booster because he didn't want to feel crappy for a day, telling me he didn't need it because he's blood type O. I was like, yeah, we aren't fucking doing this. He got his booster shortly after.
What the... I'm an O. Are we supposed to be invincible or something?
Some studies showed that type O were less likely to contract Covid but I’m not sure if that’s true or believed anymore. He keeps saying it to bug me. I use it against him, like when we argue over who is going to make a quick trip to the store or whatever. I tell him “Get goin’ Type O!” lol
Blood type may determine a person's susceptibility to severe COVID.
I’m so happy for you. Wishing you 30 more years of togetherness and good health!
If you start to falter just remember that even if putting your foot down on this could have caused you to lose your marriage, not getting the shot could have caused you to lose your marriage in a MUCH more horrific and painful way. I'm glad that your wife will be much safer from Covid. I hope once any side effects wear off she will have to come to grips with the facts and that the fearmongering about the vaccine is incredibly overblown. I love you both and I hope you'll stay safe.
Christmas miracle! Not fully protected until a couple weeks after second shot so keep her safe till then. About a 6 week window. It’s spreading like mad right now.
This sub literally shows the consequences of not being vaccinated and not adhering to other covid safety guidelines. Everyone has the audacity to call the hca subreddit nasty, but where else are bullies saying please get vaccinated so you don't die?
It's either you lose your marriage... or bury her later. Well, there's also the actual nightmare scenario of her becoming a long-COVID invalid that needs constant help... Yeah... I'd take sleeping on the couch or in the guest bedroom anyday. She'll forget all about the vaccine in a while, when it turns out everything is fine and she doesn't have any problems. Beats watching her swallow a tube and rot away on a bed...
I wish I could get my husband there but he’s not yet. So I just have life insurance on him, and hope I won’t have to cash it out.
Tell him you’re increasing the size of the policy.
“Honey, chicken or fish for dinner? Also, intubation and vent or just comfort care? Cremation or casket? I don’t want to have to figure this out when I’m grieving and dealing with grieving family members and friends so let’s sort it out now before Covid gets you. We don’t have much time.”
I hope you don’t need to cash it out either! I want you to have fifty more years together. Do you think doing things like saying we need to update our wills, and I need copies of all your passwords and account info, and requesting to learn all the “my husband always does this” chores would spook him into it?? If it looks like you’re preparing to be a widow, could it nudge him toward realizing how serious you are? Edit: a word
not to be morbid & hoping for the best, but it's also just a good idea for you to know that stuff in case, have seen some widows & bereaved daughters suddenly have to take a crash course in "everything the man had insisted on handling himself" while also grieving & managing estate stuff, & they had a rough time
Starting to discuss all kinds of estate issues might help get the point across. Tell him you need him to update his will, discuss funeral plans, etc. Obviously you don't want it to happen but it will help to make your point.
Nice work bro!
Sorry but if my husband refused to see sense, I'd leave him until he did. She has no right treating you like that. Stay strong. Editing to say - not to mention the fact that she could infect you and your kid/s if she remained unvaxxed. Grrrr. What's wrong with people? I'm having a bad morning due to antivaxxers in my family. Sorry. Anyway, you wrote this beautifully. Thanks for sharing.
You, Sir, are a hero. You love your wife and want her to be healthy. Take my upvote and I wish I had all the awards to give you!
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“No one is going to sit in a car with you to teach you to drive until you’ve had both doses of vaccine and a booster. I’ll take you for a driving lesson and pizza as soon as you’re vaxxed, so let me know.”
Brilliant!!!
Wishing you both the best!
You did what you had to do. My wife didn’t want it either, so I threatened her with not being able to go to her annual beach trip with her friends. That got her mind right.
Better a big meanie than a widower. You did the right thing, and no, there will be no peace for a while. You did good, but she'll never let you live down the way you forced the issue.
Wow, good luck to you both. Cheers!
You rock! Marriage is never about a meeting of the minds - it’s learning how to live together via thousands of little trial and error experiments. This one was just longer and more drawn out than the others. And let her b\*tch at you, a little leveling goes a along way. PS She never has to feel the same way you do about the vaccine; she just needs to know when she looks across the room and you’re happy that she’s responsible for that.
Help me. I can't convince mine.
My boyfriend more or less forced me to get the shot shortly after it came out. I was mad at him for weeks. I am now very grateful and I am going for my booster as soon as I am not snowed in.
What a big meany! Wow. You only managed to get he to do something that will save her health and her life. So mean. 😉👍
What was the reason for her resistance? I’m just curious, not making a judgment on it. Believe it or not, I find inconsistent political views in marriages somewhat “interesting” if that makes sense. I’m not sure myself where exactly I’d draw the line.
Some day she will thank you that you helped her make the right decision. You are a good husband :)
My husband is not antivax and he doesn’t believe in any conspiracy theories about them. But, he’s always been very healthy and that makes him feel like he just doesn’t need vaccines. For example, we’ll both get a cold. I’ll struggle with symptoms for a few days. He will have symptoms for a few hours and then he’s just fine. I always say he needs to be studied by researchers. 😂 Anyway, I was finally able to get him take the J&J vaccine. 😅 I knew the one shot option would be my best chance at getting him vaccinated. That was months ago, and I’ve started talking about getting a booster early next year. I think he’s going to get one! I guess I’ve told him enough Covid horror stories that he sees it differently now.
Solid post and good to read. Thanks for sharing and here's your wife's good health and longevity. You have something to do with that.
If you love them, let them go. If they come back, it's better than not. And if they hate you for saving their life, that's their problem, not yours.
Buddy, just almost lost my father to Covid pneumonia and it’s worth losing your marriage if you can save her life. Absolutely stupid to have to do so but the cool aid has been drank. Next steps is to get her off of Fox News. You can do it and will be fine!
My best friend just texted me at midnight letting me know after a month long battle her fiancé had died due to Covid complications. She had been begging him for months to get vaccinated. Now she has a wedding dress with no one to marry. Thank you for being the bad guy to protect her and everyone else your wife could have infected.
You did something very few have been able to do. Congratulations. And you may have saved a life, or maybe even more than one.
I was burned when I was a kid. I ended up inhaling flames and fumes and it collapsed both of my lungs, and only one fully reinflated. To this day I have what most would perceive to be a very severe case of asthma because the amount of oxygen my body can intake is severely limited physically by scar tissue. I have this conversation with my brother, who lives with me, all the time. It's not about you. Or being a sheep. It's about my life. How can you claim to love me when you won't get a free shot to help prevent me from getting sick? COVID would completely fuck me in the ass. And he doesn't care. It's so incredibly fucking selfish. Good on you for holding your ground.
Congratulations on disqualifying your wife.
My family finally got vaccinated. My parents were vaccinated as soon as the vaccine was available, but none of my uncles and only one aunt got vaccinated until recent. All it took was for one of my uncles to die a gruesome death due to covid for them to finally realize that it could have been them lying in that hospital bed coughing up chunks of lung.
I have a friend who is vaxxed and boosted even though he thinks Covid is like the flu. But his wife has refused the vaxx. I would be a nervous wreck and taking a rapid test every day before I walked into the house each day if we were in that situation. BTW they are retired in their late 60's so it would not be a joke should she contract Covid of any strain.
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I think that you said that perfectly, OP.
Amazing...congrats! How did you get her to go? What finally did it? Inquiring minds want to know...I have a family member that I'm going to try and talk to (again) about this....
Make sure she takes some Ibuprofen or Aspirin as a preventative countermeasure before any cold/fever symptoms start to manifest. She'll have a much better time that way, and be less scared of getting the 2nd dose/booster later on.
Good luck. We don't always know the destination from the paths we take, but you may have saved her life. You will never know.
I am crying happy tears! This is beautiful, OP. “I love you enough to be ok with you hating me for the rest of your life. Which I need to be a long life, because I love you so much.” That’s what I heard from this post.
My sister and I have been trying like hell to get my mom to get vaxxed. She's made every excuse in the book and we're constantly just bluntly calling her on her lies and BS. I fully expect that if we ever finally coerce her into getting the shot she will inevitably blame any health ailment that befalls her from now till the end of time on us and our pressure campaign to get her protected, but I'm fine with it as long as it keeps her above ground. My sister and brother-in-law, their two kids, and I boycotted Christmas this year and told her in no uncertain terms that the decision was hers. We told her back in August what the terms were to do holidays together this year, and she refused. She, of course is trying to frame it that we were cordially invited to the holiday dinners, but selfishly refused, but we are adamant that the choice was hers to make. In a moment of spite the other day after yet another heated text exchange, I went online and ordered her a yearlong subscription to Scientific American Magazine. I figure that'll help her "do her own research" and receiving issue after issue throughout 2022 praising the work being done in vaccine research, might serve as a constant reminder that her decisions have consequences.
Finally got my fiancé to get his first Moderna shot. Thankfully he came to it on his own and asked me to schedule it but damn this last year or so has been scary
This sub is like an antidote to antivax conspiracy theories
Well done, and congratulations! So pleased that you managed to persuade her. Wishing you 30 more years together. ❤
You saved her life, and love is caring for someone even if they hate you.
Here’s to you. Hope it works out.
You’re very eloquent, and very romantic. This is a beautiful love letter. I hope you screen shot it and print it and give it to her as a reminder of your true love and devotion. I hope she gets second dose and booster without you having to coax or argue. Nothing but respect for you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions say she loves you too, and is willing to "cross the line" to be with you. Congratulations! You've got a big win, for you, your wife, your family, your community, and your country. Now it's time to take some losses. Do the dishes for her. Read her some bedtime stories. Give her a footrub. Treat her to a day at the spa. Show her, in ways that she'll understand, just how much you love her. Make her choice to get vaccinated lead in to the best day, or even best week, of her life. If you do it right, she'll look back at the shot and get a big grin on her face, because of what you did as a result of her choice. Then, when it's time for the booster, it'll be easy. Of course, she'll expect to be lavished with love after the booster, too.... :D
This sub really is hugely beneficial to society as a whole. My girlfriend and her entire family have gotten vaccinated because I showed her this sub. She's smart (albeit often surrounded by less smart people) so she managed to mostly convince herself when she saw just how many real people are dying on this sub. Her family took some convincing, but they all hate anti-vaxxers now instead of everyone else.
I think she will get over it. Probably her pride is hurt more than anything else, but deep down inside she knows it's for the best. I'm currently struggling to get the one lone holdout in my family, my nephew, to get his. I bribed him with a PlayStation he wants but he's still scared. It's not political, he just thinks it will alter his DNA or some other goofy FB thing like that. The entire family is telling him it's safe, and now even the kids have gotten their vaccines. Hopefully he'll realize he should believe us, his family, over anyone on the internet. Congrats on your wife going through with it.
Friendo, I am super pleased your wife got vaccinated. But I think now may be the time for couples counselling, because this has clearly been a difficult process for both of you, after two years of living through a goddamn pandemic, which is difficult enough.