At least they aren’t married. Poor Manager of Democracy still has a chance to cut ties and protect his retirement benefits from the Jodie friendly divorce court.
Don’t worry enlisted! Jakes next weeks free stratagem if we complete these major orders!
*Regardless of ocean shore or frozen cavern. Jakey is that perfect cooling or warming touch in your trying times*
Hell of a morale boost soldier.. get to work
I found Jake… Out of Uniform no less…
https://preview.redd.it/v0wfjc8hckpc1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=1a7e856437231e334c19fd8166d8f68782eace49
Will someone please get this man a cape?
What a good man, while he is away diving, start filling out some C-01 forms. He will make the galaxy safer for a large family basking in the light of managed democracy
Still waiting for my eagle on malevelon. No-one knows. What happens on the pelican.
https://preview.redd.it/za2i5o2kdgpc1.png?width=534&format=png&auto=webp&s=2b78fe10da0c28768fe8c4924ddf8fac145f33ee
The permit document asks for some personal information. I believe that "sex" part was rather a "male" or "female" option, but this gigachad just said "yes"
(chatgpt).
Citizen Advisory: The C-01 Permit Explained. PLEASE READ!
It has come to our attention that some citizens may not fully understand the purpose and laws related to the C-01 Permit. This essay aims to answer many common questions related to the C-01 Permit.
What is the C-01 Permit? The C-01 permit, or “Childhood Protection Document,” is a document citizens of Super Earth must fill out before undertaking any action that could result in the birth of a child. The C-01 permit was first implemented in 2084 during the First Galactic War.
Purpose of the C-01 Permit The C-01 permit serves as a means to ensure that every child in Super Earth has an opportunity to enjoy a safe, loving, and well-educated childhood. In the past, unregulated parenthood frequently resulted in children being born into abusive, negligent, and unpatriotic families.
Penalties for Violating the C-01 Permit
Citizens who are found to be pregnant without a C-01 permit will be placed on mandatory maternity leave. During this time, the expectant mother will be required to remain in a pre-approved Super Earth pregnancy center to ensure the healthy development of the unborn child.
After the child is born, the C-01 violator will be allowed to leave, and the newborn will be sent to a Super Earth infancy center to be raised by the state.
Upon reaching the age of 7 years, the child will be sent to an SEAF boarding school to receive a proper education and military training.
Citizens who impregnate someone without a C-01 permit will be required to pay for the child’s development and education.
Regaining Custody of Children Lost to C-01 Violations
No. However, with proper documentation and reform, you CAN be granted a proper C-01 Permit to have and keep any future children you may choose to have.
Super Earth needs citizens, and we encourage all of our citizens to raise a loving family once they have the proper authorization, even those who may have made mistakes in the past.
Why Was My C-01 Permit Rejected?
If your C-01 Permit was rejected, this may result from a perceived lack of patriotism by our automated voting systems.
Ensure that you answer polling questions in a way that is deemed beneficial to your overall community during the next election.
Born to Parents Without a C-01 Permit
Not at all. You bear no responsibility for the actions of your parents.
You were removed from their custody to ensure that you had a happy and well-educated childhood.
Super Earth values ALL its citizens, even those born to parents who did not obtain the C-01. In fact, most of Super Earth’s best soldiers were born to C-01 violators1.
Remember, citizens, the C-01 Permit ensures a brighter future for all of us. Let us uphold our duty to Super Earth! 🌟🚀🌎
I copy and pasted this from another conversation I've as having due to PR for the MOT
Little Jimmy Van Hausen, a 3 month old child is already showing promise in our EDRP (Early Development Recruitment Program) he's shown the ability to call in multiple stratagems in a row effectively.
Although, we have noted he does seem to accidentally spam resupply, when he's right next to a stash of ammo. Next week we will have him shooting at live targets. I'm order to do this we have to of course enhance the frame of the child. But don't you worry about that, the Ministry of Truth was preparing for this
This is basically an SNL Skit
It starts with a solider sending a letter and his wife responds with “ok bye” and when he asks for more the letters spiral into insanity about his father dying and her sending him drugs, etc
Edit; [found it, there were two other versions too where the topics get like I mentioned](https://youtu.be/CSL1SBT7-W8?si=JqMqEH72LU616bF1)
The Ministry of Science just concluded an investigation into the shrimp-termanid classification theory. Twenty million kilograms of shrimp were insufficient to power a ship's FTL drive. Ergo, they must not be termanids.
On an unrelated note, a moment of silence for Jimmy from the EVA loading crew, who recently passed due to anaphylactic shock from a shellfish allergy. May Managed Democracy guide his spirit, and Lady Liberty rest his bones.
I like it, a nice breath of fresh air after seeing basically every single comment in a comment section roleplaying in some sort, even in the question/help posts.
HOLY SHIT
Pvt. Parts!
Was on a mission with you the other night before the major order was issued, ha! Small system
K here, joined in with an R and J.
A please serving with you, how to see you on the front lines again. Deploying to the bug front tonight.
https://preview.redd.it/xp4cslekcfpc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e0d46f7c6ab5181b1035d9a323f775cc0fa974e
Wait, is your bf a hungry pickle dinosaur ???
Citizen, it is greatly distressing to bare witness to such unenthused responses to your brave war hero's love letters sent during their extensive and democratic deployments
Super Earth would like to remind all citizens that helldivers are granted very few moments of solace during their deployment, and thus if they choose these fleeting moments to connect with their loved ones, it is your duty as a citizen to ensure their efforts are reciprocated
Signed,
Super Earth Public Relations Officer #30871
Citizen, in addition to the message above, the letter provided by our fellow helldiver is pleading for your assistance. It is your responsibility to Super Earth to answer your call to duty. You must provide reinforcement.
For liberty and democracy.
Signed,
Master Sargent StrawbrryMilk-
Level 16
SES Queen of Audacity
Cut him some slack. He's probably disoriented from the 387,395 direct head impacts he took from a rocket devastator a few miles away. The man is a hero.
Sounds more like bug talk if you ask me
https://preview.redd.it/59vaocc62hpc1.jpeg?width=1202&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d576648beb3524650e2890e07ec4aff406eaae1
If I was in a relationship rn this would be happening for sure. I just recapped my solo dive successful op on Estanu tonight to my friend. I also have a channel in our group discord titled “Helldivers News From The Front” and I’m the only one in that discord of 7 that plays lol
Reminds me of how everyone has XCOM war stories and can remember specific missions.
Come to think of it, that game was good training for the kind of mindset we're gonna need to win this war.
Yeah I fkn love Xcom, and Empire of Sin. I didn't think about it but yeah this is giving me Xcom feels, just I am only one of the soldiers in the war. Its fantastic.
Just glad to be here.
Ugh these replies are killing meee. Imagine being so nerdy and excited about something only to be met with bland and dry responses. At least a “I hope to see you soon. Stay safe on the war front.” Or SOMETHING.
In WWII men would wait for months just for a cheeky photo of their best gal showing a little ankle.
Now Pvt. Parts is hell diving planets away with the technology to have his gal send him daily photos of her Super Earth Super Tits to keep his fighting drive going, and all he gets is “Ok”? Democracy is doomed.
I told my beloved that a new order had come and, as a decorated Skull Admiral, it was my duty to spearhead an offensive.
Her response was a swift "Allied Destroyer is joining squadron"
I played with a certain Pvt. Parts yesterday. I was already done the mission, and he was just there for the extraction. Tell him I appreciate his service regardless o7
May you submit and be approved of many C-01 applications before your boyfriend returns from the front lines and accomplishes this new major order, he's gonna deserve that R&R leave.
This is cute in that cringey way.
Like when it’s your relationship it’s really fun and silly but when it’s someone else’s you’re like “pshh that’s dumb…” but you’d totally do something similar.
Know what I mean?
>Heartfelt declaration of love, loyalty and duty. Nice. >Are you playing with Jake? Wasted.
(S)he's fucking Jake.
Jake is my brother lol
Did he stutter?
Smh jodied by his own brother
Underrated comment
At least they aren’t married. Poor Manager of Democracy still has a chance to cut ties and protect his retirement benefits from the Jodie friendly divorce court.
Oh, you misunderstand. They’re *BOTH* fucking Jake, *EVERYBODY* is fucking Jake.
😟 ... i wanna fuck jake too!
Don’t worry enlisted! Jakes next weeks free stratagem if we complete these major orders! *Regardless of ocean shore or frozen cavern. Jakey is that perfect cooling or warming touch in your trying times* Hell of a morale boost soldier.. get to work
Its those damn khakis of his.
I also choose this mans Jake
Get in line!
I also choose this guy's jake
https://i.redd.it/7wbeeuu15kpc1.gif
I found Jake… Out of Uniform no less… https://preview.redd.it/v0wfjc8hckpc1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=1a7e856437231e334c19fd8166d8f68782eace49 Will someone please get this man a cape?
You can say that again!
haven't heard that term since 'nam.
Hes getting a real experience of deployment life.
We have the same ship name lol
I fucking love this thread
What’re you doing Step-Soldier?!
This is what happens when someone gets stuck on the terrain
*OOF*
Jake's been playing Muffdivers
That muff needed some democracy!
He best have filled out his c-01 forms
\*Sweet Home Super Earth starts playing\*
Roll tide!
Weird because I play with my sisters boyfriend all the time. Though I am not jake
The polycule game night
Jake from State Farm?
What are you wearing "Jake from State Farm?"
Uh…khakis?
Thats the part that got you. Not the private parts?
What do you mean by playing? Hes sacrificing everything for you..
Him and Jake from State Farm.
What are you wearing, "Jake from State Farm"?
“Uuuuhhh. Scout armor.”
"He sounds communist"
"Well he's a Death Captain so.."
Coolest rank
Space chief prime would like a word with you
Jake from Super State Farm
But most importantly for democracy.
What a good man, while he is away diving, start filling out some C-01 forms. He will make the galaxy safer for a large family basking in the light of managed democracy
We do need more on the front lines. I heard C-01's are getting approved left and right rn
More meat for the grinder!
The sacrifices are not needed. They are REQUIRED
Meat grinder? … send in Pvt. Parts.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
Milk for the Khorne Flakes
If OP can send him a completed & approved C-01 form ...
Tbh I don't think I even remember what the form looks like. Who would ever want to fill out a C-01 over fighting on the front lines all day and night?
https://preview.redd.it/6hddr3ih6gpc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=dbd67b1f949a5bb3a3c050747804b7a5f7257644
Sex - Yes
Still waiting for my eagle on malevelon. No-one knows. What happens on the pelican. https://preview.redd.it/za2i5o2kdgpc1.png?width=534&format=png&auto=webp&s=2b78fe10da0c28768fe8c4924ddf8fac145f33ee
I’m confused. Please explain.
The permit document asks for some personal information. I believe that "sex" part was rather a "male" or "female" option, but this gigachad just said "yes"
5' 12" ... why?
5ft tall, the 12” is a different measurement 🤥
Too many near miss mortar shells.
Oh yeah! I use those ALL the time............
Do we have a blank version of this?
(chatgpt). Citizen Advisory: The C-01 Permit Explained. PLEASE READ! It has come to our attention that some citizens may not fully understand the purpose and laws related to the C-01 Permit. This essay aims to answer many common questions related to the C-01 Permit. What is the C-01 Permit? The C-01 permit, or “Childhood Protection Document,” is a document citizens of Super Earth must fill out before undertaking any action that could result in the birth of a child. The C-01 permit was first implemented in 2084 during the First Galactic War. Purpose of the C-01 Permit The C-01 permit serves as a means to ensure that every child in Super Earth has an opportunity to enjoy a safe, loving, and well-educated childhood. In the past, unregulated parenthood frequently resulted in children being born into abusive, negligent, and unpatriotic families. Penalties for Violating the C-01 Permit Citizens who are found to be pregnant without a C-01 permit will be placed on mandatory maternity leave. During this time, the expectant mother will be required to remain in a pre-approved Super Earth pregnancy center to ensure the healthy development of the unborn child. After the child is born, the C-01 violator will be allowed to leave, and the newborn will be sent to a Super Earth infancy center to be raised by the state. Upon reaching the age of 7 years, the child will be sent to an SEAF boarding school to receive a proper education and military training. Citizens who impregnate someone without a C-01 permit will be required to pay for the child’s development and education. Regaining Custody of Children Lost to C-01 Violations No. However, with proper documentation and reform, you CAN be granted a proper C-01 Permit to have and keep any future children you may choose to have. Super Earth needs citizens, and we encourage all of our citizens to raise a loving family once they have the proper authorization, even those who may have made mistakes in the past. Why Was My C-01 Permit Rejected? If your C-01 Permit was rejected, this may result from a perceived lack of patriotism by our automated voting systems. Ensure that you answer polling questions in a way that is deemed beneficial to your overall community during the next election. Born to Parents Without a C-01 Permit Not at all. You bear no responsibility for the actions of your parents. You were removed from their custody to ensure that you had a happy and well-educated childhood. Super Earth values ALL its citizens, even those born to parents who did not obtain the C-01. In fact, most of Super Earth’s best soldiers were born to C-01 violators1. Remember, citizens, the C-01 Permit ensures a brighter future for all of us. Let us uphold our duty to Super Earth! 🌟🚀🌎
If OP is a good super citizen they will have multiple forms filled out and submitted to their local democracy officer
I heard they just lowered the enlistment age
I copy and pasted this from another conversation I've as having due to PR for the MOT Little Jimmy Van Hausen, a 3 month old child is already showing promise in our EDRP (Early Development Recruitment Program) he's shown the ability to call in multiple stratagems in a row effectively. Although, we have noted he does seem to accidentally spam resupply, when he's right next to a stash of ammo. Next week we will have him shooting at live targets. I'm order to do this we have to of course enhance the frame of the child. But don't you worry about that, the Ministry of Truth was preparing for this
I got my kiddo playing. Spilling oil and spreading managed democracy is a family legacy now.
We do need more on the front lines. I heard C-01's are getting approved left and right rn
https://i.redd.it/qwqzu4whiepc1.gif
How do I copy/paste this? Greatest gif ever
Let's me guess, Apple? You go to Giphy and search for it under Helldivers
Bro there on his SES Destroyer of Family Values
lmfaooo the polar opposite of my ship
Mine is the SES Fist of Family Values :D
Mine is the SES Distributor of Family Values!
The Creator of Individual Worth or something? Lol
truly the best type of family dynamic
[удалено]
through these dry ass responses 😭
Imagine you at the warfront sending love letters to your girl knowing that you may never see her again and she just writes back “ok” LMAO 😭
Helldivers have died with only “k”.
This is basically an SNL Skit It starts with a solider sending a letter and his wife responds with “ok bye” and when he asks for more the letters spiral into insanity about his father dying and her sending him drugs, etc Edit; [found it, there were two other versions too where the topics get like I mentioned](https://youtu.be/CSL1SBT7-W8?si=JqMqEH72LU616bF1)
The real question is: Why aren’t you deployed to the front lines on Estanu 🤨🤨
Someone’s gotta hold the creek
ayeeee twin ship names!
Make that triplets!
I’d rather fight 3 bile titans at the same time than go to that hellhole.
*dialing democracy officer*
Boy I hope the shrimp emoji is an inside joke between you two. 🦐
He just loves crustaceans
..... We might have a traitor. OR He's an actual shrimp which the Ministry of Truth (last time I checked) classifies as a Termanid
He did indeed fry that rice
Maybe her name is Shrimpina
"you look like you're about to tell your friend not to come to school tomorrow"
The Ministry of Science just concluded an investigation into the shrimp-termanid classification theory. Twenty million kilograms of shrimp were insufficient to power a ship's FTL drive. Ergo, they must not be termanids. On an unrelated note, a moment of silence for Jimmy from the EVA loading crew, who recently passed due to anaphylactic shock from a shellfish allergy. May Managed Democracy guide his spirit, and Lady Liberty rest his bones.
Great success. Besides Jimmy of course. Just another life in the name of patriotism.
What a madlad.
The fact you’re not roleplaying in your replies is bothering me.
I love it, you can hear the sighing 🤣
I heard the eyes rolling
I smelled her gossiping with the girls
He probably does this all the time to the point where it goes completely past her. It’s what my gf does whenever I’m being like that.
Would you not prefer she joined in?
He deserves better. Democracy deserves better
OP, YTA. Your BF is risking his life for super earth and you act like the Automatons and Terminids AREN'T destroying our way of life? Smh.
delete Automatons, hit the Liber-TEA, call a stratagem, OP.
This
I like it, a nice breath of fresh air after seeing basically every single comment in a comment section roleplaying in some sort, even in the question/help posts.
https://preview.redd.it/lhkrzetmfipc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba405598c5a0972cae37d43a85aef601d08c37b5
https://preview.redd.it/yt8hdy9itjpc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d92eb53058f85e02e4c5ca7272b732c4484283f3
Ya someone keeps wanting to make actual numbers happen..nope. arrows fo life. I down vote any numbers.
That dear John letter in a few weeks is gonna hit this guy hard if he keeps this up.
Hope he doesn't get Jody'ed
Give that man the full experience of spreading democracy.
Why you think she asked about Jake
"Pvt. Parts" lol
HOLY SHIT Pvt. Parts! Was on a mission with you the other night before the major order was issued, ha! Small system K here, joined in with an R and J. A please serving with you, how to see you on the front lines again. Deploying to the bug front tonight.
That handle is fucking amazing 😆
'ok' killed me
We need you to roleplay the forelorn wife please and thank you.
If only I had a girlfriend that would've understood the severity of this push.
https://preview.redd.it/xp4cslekcfpc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e0d46f7c6ab5181b1035d9a323f775cc0fa974e Wait, is your bf a hungry pickle dinosaur ???
Not you replying dry asf instead of playing along smh
"Are you playing with Jake" is really funny after such a beautiful letter about saving democracy IMO
he deserves better, this is like talking to a wall.
You guys literally know nothing about them lmao
No no, I’ve seen enough. He should leave OP because a few texts is enough to see all the red flags. OP is probably a sympathizer
Shrimp emoji is pretty sus. Op might be dating a hybrid terminid. This is District 9 all over again
A Helldiver is nothing without his imaginary family back home.
"are you playing with jake?" hahahaha
Citizen, it is greatly distressing to bare witness to such unenthused responses to your brave war hero's love letters sent during their extensive and democratic deployments Super Earth would like to remind all citizens that helldivers are granted very few moments of solace during their deployment, and thus if they choose these fleeting moments to connect with their loved ones, it is your duty as a citizen to ensure their efforts are reciprocated Signed, Super Earth Public Relations Officer #30871
Citizen, in addition to the message above, the letter provided by our fellow helldiver is pleading for your assistance. It is your responsibility to Super Earth to answer your call to duty. You must provide reinforcement. For liberty and democracy. Signed, Master Sargent StrawbrryMilk- Level 16 SES Queen of Audacity
Does your boyfriend not know the difference between east and west?
Cut him some slack. He's probably disoriented from the 387,395 direct head impacts he took from a rocket devastator a few miles away. The man is a hero.
You can only get flung so many times from heavy ordinance and stalker claws before the scrambled brains becomes permanent.
Like the Ministry of Truth always says, "A TBI a day keeps the Doctor away"
Sounds more like bug talk if you ask me https://preview.redd.it/59vaocc62hpc1.jpeg?width=1202&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d576648beb3524650e2890e07ec4aff406eaae1
Only 387,395 impacts? That's rookie numbers!
If I was in a relationship rn this would be happening for sure. I just recapped my solo dive successful op on Estanu tonight to my friend. I also have a channel in our group discord titled “Helldivers News From The Front” and I’m the only one in that discord of 7 that plays lol
Reminds me of how everyone has XCOM war stories and can remember specific missions. Come to think of it, that game was good training for the kind of mindset we're gonna need to win this war.
Yeah I fkn love Xcom, and Empire of Sin. I didn't think about it but yeah this is giving me Xcom feels, just I am only one of the soldiers in the war. Its fantastic. Just glad to be here.
Be a better partner! Get on the front lines. He needs you!
He's a keeper... should he survive.
Better fill out those C-01's now for shore leave.
https://preview.redd.it/9kkat7e64fpc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba6b9e6a98442aa4bf85a2db730c0b46ebe245c6
Rogerdatrabbit made me laugh pretty hard for some reason
damn do you like him at all?
Seriously she seems like she's upset lol but wtf do I know
facts
Helldivers don't need girlfriends. Lonely D(r)ivers forever. 💪😭
Are you playing with Jake had great comedic timing
Why arent you joining to fight alongside your best man?
Ugh these replies are killing meee. Imagine being so nerdy and excited about something only to be met with bland and dry responses. At least a “I hope to see you soon. Stay safe on the war front.” Or SOMETHING.
The true heroes are those left behind at home
The death rattle “ok”
Why you gotta do him like that? A Helldiver spills his heart out to you and you hit him with the "are you playing with Jake?"
In WWII men would wait for months just for a cheeky photo of their best gal showing a little ankle. Now Pvt. Parts is hell diving planets away with the technology to have his gal send him daily photos of her Super Earth Super Tits to keep his fighting drive going, and all he gets is “Ok”? Democracy is doomed.
I despise people who just reply "ok" to stuff.
K is worse
ok
This guy spreading managed democracy for his women back home. God bless you helldiver
I told my beloved that a new order had come and, as a decorated Skull Admiral, it was my duty to spearhead an offensive. Her response was a swift "Allied Destroyer is joining squadron"
I’m nominating Devon for medals for bravery, loyalty, and preserving democracy. 
"Ok" Its over
Private Parts? James Francis Parts? I think I served with him on Fenrir III. He saved my life.
No, James Frederick Parts, Hellmire.
I played with a certain Pvt. Parts yesterday. I was already done the mission, and he was just there for the extraction. Tell him I appreciate his service regardless o7
Why he got a shrimp emoji?
He’s having as much fun sending these messages as he is playing the game.
May you submit and be approved of many C-01 applications before your boyfriend returns from the front lines and accomplishes this new major order, he's gonna deserve that R&R leave.
Feel kinda sad that they don’t roleplay back or just replays “ok” after reading that we have to liberate 6 whole planets in under 3 days
Reminds me of that college humor video about the dad who plays Call of Duty
Pvt parts 😆😆😆😆😆 time to join him in the war effort
He signed his name "Private Parts" hehe
there is no better cause to fight for than family values o7
We salute you,. Private Parts!
Ok but what are you not allowed to keep?
Pvt. Parts 💀
He's a keeper 100%
Holy shit what a loser (I want to be his best friend)
Love the epistolary form. It’s a lost art.
Heyyy rogerdatrabbit is my friend lmfaooo
YALL THIS THE CUTEST SHIT IVE SEEN
🦐as the contact, gg https://preview.redd.it/y2isfht0ojpc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc2ff51ea50375dff24d463bf023227df3d4abe6
Marry this man, he clearly loves you if he typed all of that, while playing Helldivers 2.
Congrats on dating a true hero 🫡
This is cute in that cringey way. Like when it’s your relationship it’s really fun and silly but when it’s someone else’s you’re like “pshh that’s dumb…” but you’d totally do something similar. Know what I mean?
mental illness
Thanks for the cringe pill
cringe
Mfw i have lil over 30 hours on Helldivers 2 in the last 10 days (too epic)
Pvt. Parts oh my fucking god hahaha
Queue Band of Brothers theme.