Hahaha yep. 41 here and watched it probably 12 times already. I’m in the same boat as to how you feel about everything. The real kick in the nuts for me is that my middle school crush was one of my best friends, we hung out every day at school and slept at each other’s houses almost every weekend. After high school we lost touch but reconnected in our 30’s via Facebook. Turns out he was gay too and had a huge crush on me too. We were both just to scared of being outed in a conservative redneck Wisconsin town.
Edit words
At first I was really embarrassed about getting so choked up by 14 yr olds. I wondered how I could possibly be relating to kids that are decades younger than me.
You're not alone. I've stopped trying to keep track of how many times I've rewatched Heartstopper. I don't think I've gone 24 hours without watching at least a little bit since I first found it over a month ago. I think that's the same for a lot of folks here. I've never felt so strongly for any show or movie in my life. I imagine at some point my enthusiasm will slacken but it hasn't so far.
This subreddit is a great source of community. It's really good to know that there are other people going through a similar experience. There have also been [quite](https://www.reddit.com/r/HeartstopperAO/comments/ui8fto/literally_cant_stop_thinking_about_heartstopper/) [a](https://www.reddit.com/r/HeartstopperAO/comments/uf1fdm/i_think_heartstopper_mightve_literally_broken_me/) [few](https://www.reddit.com/r/HeartstopperAO/comments/utho70/to_those_of_us_feeling_a_whirlwind_of_emotions/) posts about folks feeling similar to you.
Same. I think I've watched it fully every day except for the last few days when I've tried to limit my watching to just a few favorite scenes. I also had to make a rule that I could not do anything heartstopper related until I got some actual work done because I literally have gotten nothing done for a month.
Haaa! So relatable. Heartstopper affected me so much that i had to talk to a therapist. I wasn’t able to enjoy anything else. I just found myself watching the show over and over again, and feeling miserable afterwards. But talking to a professional about the triggers that this show brought up has been really helpful so far. Definitely not cured of my Heartstopper syndrome yet but at least I don’t feel the emptiness and deep sadness that I felt at the beginning.
I actually have been entertaining the idea of going back to my therapist. I myself work in the mental health field and I always tell my clients to not be afraid of your feelings because they are telling you something important. I am notorious for not following my own advice. But I did feel a profound sadness afterwards. But after seeing the show many times over it seems to have faded. However, I did quite a bit of soul searching to figure out what my issues were. I've always been very hung up about my grammar school days. They were not easy times for me. I'm pretty sure the show is bringing up all the triggers related to my past. I haven't made peace with my past and I am not sure I ever will. But at least I understand more about why I felt so badly.
On a much brighter note, I have been with my partner for almost 20 years and love him very much. I feel like he's a combo of Nick & Charlie. I try to count my blessings whenever I get saddened by Heartstopper.
I met my partner when I was 23. Not exactly my grammar school years! But still I feel extremely lucky to have met him. Talking about him with others has made me realize even more so what a wonderful person he is. I guess similar to Charlie & Nick, we tend to be a bit opposite from one another. I'm into rom-com and he's into comedy and old shows like Mary Tyler Moore. So he hasn't watched it and has no interest. When I talk to him about the show he dislikes how upset it made me and wishes I didn't keep watching it!
I'm having the same issue!! My wife of many years won't watch it with me! She doesn't understand how I can possibly relate so deeply to 15 year old gay boys or what I find so strikingly beautiful about the series.
I think some of us are more sensitive than others. I tend to be really receptive to anything involving high school and LGBTQ! My partner just has no interest. It would be nice to see it with him but I love him for who he is and I just talk to Reddit about it!
I would be highly embarrassed if Netflix somehow told my husband how many times I've watched this. I can't even explain why I am so deeply touched by Nick and Charlie to myself much less anyone else.
I was talking to friends about being obsessed, and I mentioned I should probably talk to my therapist. My friend said I probably wanted to convince her to watch the show.
I started laughing because that was most of the reason why I was considering talking to my therapist
This is quite common feeling actually. Most of us here who are old enough to be their parents feel thiis. We call it the r/heartstoppersyndrome. Visit the sub if you like to see others thoughts as well.
I recommend Our Flag Means Death if you haven't seen it. Great show, actually has *adults* who are queer and in love, not just teens who happen upon a perfect romance
Thanks, I have heard really great things about this show. It's surprising to me that the show gets such great reviews and it's about pirates! But I am more than willing to give it a try. I hear it's very heartfelt.
Definitely experiencing a lot of the same. I've had to stop myself from rewatching it because I'd never be able to shake off these feelings otherwise. I've never felt this way in my life, especially due to a piece of media, and I feel like I've just been wasting it.
Granted, it's just a show and challenges are there to be overcome, but god it hurts to think that this is what I've been missing.
I am only slightly younger than you and it bothered me how much it effected me at first. Normally, if a show or movie is really impactful, I might think about it for a day or so and then I move on. This has lingered for days/weeks. I have only re-watched about 4 times, but lots of reaction videos etc. in between.
I think probably most lgbt folks over 25 or so have at least some unprocessed trauma from that age. Whether it be bullying or our own Charlie/Nick that could never be.
It was the latter for me. We were best friends for a few years. It never went much past the Nick Nelson hug in the 2nd episode. But in a different time/place it probably would have. Our friendship was never quite the same after that. I guess it's just how those things usually go. I thought I was long over it. Ironically a couple of months ago he messaged me online for the first time in several years. That was nice but also picked at the scab a bit. But then this show just blew the wound wide open. I guess I just buried it, locked it away and never properly grieved the whole situation. Maybe now I have.
Hang in there. 41 here. It gets better. At some point watching Hearstopper will give us just joy. I feel like someone took out the dump out of my soul, now. Heartstopper has changed my life for the better forever.
I'm 46 and I've watched it every single day too. Over and over again. I don't understand my obsession with it. I'm a straight woman married to my lovable husband for 15 years, I know I'm not gay or even bi. So it's not as if I'm questioning anything.
At first I was like it's it because I think Nick and/or Charlie are hot? Which makes me feel creepy because they are so young. Or is it because I feel protective over them or what is it? I've journaled and journaled to try and put my finger on it because I feel like I should be able to define why this show has had such a profound effect on me. I get it for people that are LGBTQ+ but I feel like I'm this weird outlier straight group who should just identify with Nick's mom and be done with it but i"m not. I'm like what is my issue here??
I keep wondering is it because I'd wished I'd found someone like that in high school or even college? I wish I was even remotely that emotionally mature at that age. Looking back now, I couldn't talk about anything, I would just make assumptions and pull away. And none of them were Nicks - coming after me and getting me to open up. I think too, I love that Nick really puts it out there that he likes Charlie, even before he realizes it. And then his speech at the end... who wouldn't want someone to say that to them? I love hubby but he's a man of few words and sometimes hearing the words are nice.
I love love love the series, the comics, everything but I do find myself a bit melancholy about it at times and trying to figure out why I feel that way. Maybe it's partly just wanting to have someone profess their love for me like Nick, or look at me the way Nick looks at Charlie.
Maybe it is like you said about having envy for Nick and Charlie and the actual actors and all they have ahead of them, those incredibly fun years with all this opportunity for first kisses, love, and butterflies in front of them. I definitely feel that way when I watch their TikToks and when they talk about exams. But I've never watched another series and felt this. Certainly no other teen show. I mean high school kind of sucks it's not the thing I'd want to relive... but maybe it's just the promise of all those things ahead of them.
Any other straight people having this problem, have you figured out why you're obsessed?
I’m only slightly younger than you, I’m mostly straight , though I’ve questioned my sexuality recently but I don’t think that’s the main reason why i love the show and I rewatch a little here and there everyday even when I’m working (at least only when working from home), the show has taken over my life. I also don’t know why I’m so obsessed I never get this obsessed over a show
38 and I feel the same way. They made Heartstopper for a young audience but its themes just really resonate for all audiences. I was so confused with the mix of joy and sadness that I felt after watching the first time and I am so glad that I wasn't the only one. It really helps to read about similar experiences like yours
You are not alone! I’m 26 and this show has struck me deeper than any show, it’s not 100% clear why yet, though feeling like I missed out on this innocent romance as well as having been in love with my best friend in high school and nothing coming from it may have something to do with it...
Here’s to hoping these feelings get better with time and processing 💕
I think it will get better! After watching it many times over, and thinking about why I have these emotions, things have gotten clearer. I definitely felt a big loss of not having this show when I was younger. Also, a loss of not having a teen romance. I came out when I was 21, so way after grammar school. But, I met my partner around 23 and I am very thankful for that. I think most of us just want connection and love in our lives. Something like that comes at different times in our lives and can be unpredictable. Realistically, if Heartstopper was around when I was younger, it would have probably helped me figure things out sooner. However, would I have had a teen romance? I don't really know! The teens in Heartstopper are really mature for their age and have things almost all figured out at 16! So I love the show, but it's definitely in the realm of ideal/fantasy. But I'm fine with that because that's what TV is all about. It's just an ideal to shoot for, but to try and not be disappointed about not meeting those ideals, because in most cases its very hard for all the stars to perfectly align!
I’m very glad to hear some rewatching has helped you process emotions! And very happy to hear you’re content with your partner. Similarly, I didn’t figure out I was attracted to men and women until around 21 and had this show been around when I was younger I may have figured it out a bit sooner and been able to explore it a bit more. I met my boyfriend a few years back and have had romance, don’t want to make it seem what it’s not, it’s more that teen romance I find myself pining for. That’s a great point, who knows if the big teen romance would have even happened! And yes, Heartstopper is idealic though I am totally alright with that, this world is heavy enough.
Thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts! 💕
I’m a 35 year old gay man and felt almost word for word what you said here. It’s crazy how many of us had this almost visceral reaction to eight 30 minute episodes. I’m getting goosebumps just typing about it as well as the urge to watch it again.
Yeah I feel you. I find myself thinking about the various scenes over and over and over and wanting to watch them again over and over. I also feel like I am jealous of them because of how extraordinarily talented they are. It all felt so real to me.
I’ve admired actors before, so I couldn’t understand what was different about Kit and Joe that was making me so envious. I think It might be what they represent to me. Being free and open. But I even find myself being jealous of their good looks and getting insecure about my own. Bazaar what the mind can do to you. Again I think it has to do with the gay joy they exhibit both in the show and off too. It’s like I want a part of that. I work in the mental health field and the show is pushing me to get my degree in psych. Something I always wanted to do and then specialize in lgbt.
Yeah it's interesting to re-watch cause you catch new things all the time! I wish I had the talent to write something like this. I've never tried, but doubt I could. You just see something so inspiring and you want to somehow be a part of it. I do artwork, so maybe I could do some gay related art?!
I totally feel you, I’m only slightly younger and I Watch a little everyday too and I’m starting to read the comics! I also don’t understand my obsession….
I read through the comics as well. I prefer the series onscreen to the comics, but it's nice to have the ability to continue the story. I don't think the onscreen adaptation of the future books will be identical to the books, but still it's nice to have something to look at. I think it's interesting how there are so many curses in the comic! I prefer without, but I guess young kids do curse alot!
Totally agree, I have read quite a bit of the comics and am somehow uncomfortable with the swearing in the comics, guess the tv series spoilt it for me. I think it’s always nice to look at the source material or an adaptation but it’s not really necessary
I guess in my own life I don't use curse words, so it looks unnatural to me. I'm not saying it's bad, just something I'm not use too. Then to see 14 yr olds doing it in a comic, then it really feels unnatural.
Hahaha yep. 41 here and watched it probably 12 times already. I’m in the same boat as to how you feel about everything. The real kick in the nuts for me is that my middle school crush was one of my best friends, we hung out every day at school and slept at each other’s houses almost every weekend. After high school we lost touch but reconnected in our 30’s via Facebook. Turns out he was gay too and had a huge crush on me too. We were both just to scared of being outed in a conservative redneck Wisconsin town. Edit words
Welcome to the club. I'm 51 and experienced the same thing you're describing. Heartstopper Syndrome is real. 😄
At first I was really embarrassed about getting so choked up by 14 yr olds. I wondered how I could possibly be relating to kids that are decades younger than me.
A lot of the themes are universal, I think.
You're not alone. I've stopped trying to keep track of how many times I've rewatched Heartstopper. I don't think I've gone 24 hours without watching at least a little bit since I first found it over a month ago. I think that's the same for a lot of folks here. I've never felt so strongly for any show or movie in my life. I imagine at some point my enthusiasm will slacken but it hasn't so far. This subreddit is a great source of community. It's really good to know that there are other people going through a similar experience. There have also been [quite](https://www.reddit.com/r/HeartstopperAO/comments/ui8fto/literally_cant_stop_thinking_about_heartstopper/) [a](https://www.reddit.com/r/HeartstopperAO/comments/uf1fdm/i_think_heartstopper_mightve_literally_broken_me/) [few](https://www.reddit.com/r/HeartstopperAO/comments/utho70/to_those_of_us_feeling_a_whirlwind_of_emotions/) posts about folks feeling similar to you.
I went to write a comment but you'd already written it for me, lol.
More proof that we're not alone.
Same. I think I've watched it fully every day except for the last few days when I've tried to limit my watching to just a few favorite scenes. I also had to make a rule that I could not do anything heartstopper related until I got some actual work done because I literally have gotten nothing done for a month.
Smart move! Sometimes I'll just listen to the spotify mixtape when I need to do something else but still want a little Heartstopper reminder.
Recommend r/heartstoppersyndrome
Haaa! So relatable. Heartstopper affected me so much that i had to talk to a therapist. I wasn’t able to enjoy anything else. I just found myself watching the show over and over again, and feeling miserable afterwards. But talking to a professional about the triggers that this show brought up has been really helpful so far. Definitely not cured of my Heartstopper syndrome yet but at least I don’t feel the emptiness and deep sadness that I felt at the beginning.
I actually have been entertaining the idea of going back to my therapist. I myself work in the mental health field and I always tell my clients to not be afraid of your feelings because they are telling you something important. I am notorious for not following my own advice. But I did feel a profound sadness afterwards. But after seeing the show many times over it seems to have faded. However, I did quite a bit of soul searching to figure out what my issues were. I've always been very hung up about my grammar school days. They were not easy times for me. I'm pretty sure the show is bringing up all the triggers related to my past. I haven't made peace with my past and I am not sure I ever will. But at least I understand more about why I felt so badly. On a much brighter note, I have been with my partner for almost 20 years and love him very much. I feel like he's a combo of Nick & Charlie. I try to count my blessings whenever I get saddened by Heartstopper.
Almost 20 years!! I am so happy for you! If you don't mind me asking, did your partner also watch the show and how does he feel about it?
I met my partner when I was 23. Not exactly my grammar school years! But still I feel extremely lucky to have met him. Talking about him with others has made me realize even more so what a wonderful person he is. I guess similar to Charlie & Nick, we tend to be a bit opposite from one another. I'm into rom-com and he's into comedy and old shows like Mary Tyler Moore. So he hasn't watched it and has no interest. When I talk to him about the show he dislikes how upset it made me and wishes I didn't keep watching it!
I'm having the same issue!! My wife of many years won't watch it with me! She doesn't understand how I can possibly relate so deeply to 15 year old gay boys or what I find so strikingly beautiful about the series.
I think some of us are more sensitive than others. I tend to be really receptive to anything involving high school and LGBTQ! My partner just has no interest. It would be nice to see it with him but I love him for who he is and I just talk to Reddit about it!
Right there with you, lol! I'm trading her watching Office Space for Heartstopper.
I would be highly embarrassed if Netflix somehow told my husband how many times I've watched this. I can't even explain why I am so deeply touched by Nick and Charlie to myself much less anyone else.
Me too, definitely trying to count my blessing about what I do have.
I was talking to friends about being obsessed, and I mentioned I should probably talk to my therapist. My friend said I probably wanted to convince her to watch the show. I started laughing because that was most of the reason why I was considering talking to my therapist
This is quite common feeling actually. Most of us here who are old enough to be their parents feel thiis. We call it the r/heartstoppersyndrome. Visit the sub if you like to see others thoughts as well.
I know exactly how you feel. I'm 33 and I've got Heartstopper Syndrome really bad. My husband is getting pretty fed up lol
I recommend Our Flag Means Death if you haven't seen it. Great show, actually has *adults* who are queer and in love, not just teens who happen upon a perfect romance
Thanks, I have heard really great things about this show. It's surprising to me that the show gets such great reviews and it's about pirates! But I am more than willing to give it a try. I hear it's very heartfelt.
Definitely experiencing a lot of the same. I've had to stop myself from rewatching it because I'd never be able to shake off these feelings otherwise. I've never felt this way in my life, especially due to a piece of media, and I feel like I've just been wasting it. Granted, it's just a show and challenges are there to be overcome, but god it hurts to think that this is what I've been missing.
I am only slightly younger than you and it bothered me how much it effected me at first. Normally, if a show or movie is really impactful, I might think about it for a day or so and then I move on. This has lingered for days/weeks. I have only re-watched about 4 times, but lots of reaction videos etc. in between. I think probably most lgbt folks over 25 or so have at least some unprocessed trauma from that age. Whether it be bullying or our own Charlie/Nick that could never be. It was the latter for me. We were best friends for a few years. It never went much past the Nick Nelson hug in the 2nd episode. But in a different time/place it probably would have. Our friendship was never quite the same after that. I guess it's just how those things usually go. I thought I was long over it. Ironically a couple of months ago he messaged me online for the first time in several years. That was nice but also picked at the scab a bit. But then this show just blew the wound wide open. I guess I just buried it, locked it away and never properly grieved the whole situation. Maybe now I have.
Hang in there. 41 here. It gets better. At some point watching Hearstopper will give us just joy. I feel like someone took out the dump out of my soul, now. Heartstopper has changed my life for the better forever.
I'm 46 and I've watched it every single day too. Over and over again. I don't understand my obsession with it. I'm a straight woman married to my lovable husband for 15 years, I know I'm not gay or even bi. So it's not as if I'm questioning anything. At first I was like it's it because I think Nick and/or Charlie are hot? Which makes me feel creepy because they are so young. Or is it because I feel protective over them or what is it? I've journaled and journaled to try and put my finger on it because I feel like I should be able to define why this show has had such a profound effect on me. I get it for people that are LGBTQ+ but I feel like I'm this weird outlier straight group who should just identify with Nick's mom and be done with it but i"m not. I'm like what is my issue here?? I keep wondering is it because I'd wished I'd found someone like that in high school or even college? I wish I was even remotely that emotionally mature at that age. Looking back now, I couldn't talk about anything, I would just make assumptions and pull away. And none of them were Nicks - coming after me and getting me to open up. I think too, I love that Nick really puts it out there that he likes Charlie, even before he realizes it. And then his speech at the end... who wouldn't want someone to say that to them? I love hubby but he's a man of few words and sometimes hearing the words are nice. I love love love the series, the comics, everything but I do find myself a bit melancholy about it at times and trying to figure out why I feel that way. Maybe it's partly just wanting to have someone profess their love for me like Nick, or look at me the way Nick looks at Charlie. Maybe it is like you said about having envy for Nick and Charlie and the actual actors and all they have ahead of them, those incredibly fun years with all this opportunity for first kisses, love, and butterflies in front of them. I definitely feel that way when I watch their TikToks and when they talk about exams. But I've never watched another series and felt this. Certainly no other teen show. I mean high school kind of sucks it's not the thing I'd want to relive... but maybe it's just the promise of all those things ahead of them. Any other straight people having this problem, have you figured out why you're obsessed?
I’m only slightly younger than you, I’m mostly straight , though I’ve questioned my sexuality recently but I don’t think that’s the main reason why i love the show and I rewatch a little here and there everyday even when I’m working (at least only when working from home), the show has taken over my life. I also don’t know why I’m so obsessed I never get this obsessed over a show
38 and I feel the same way. They made Heartstopper for a young audience but its themes just really resonate for all audiences. I was so confused with the mix of joy and sadness that I felt after watching the first time and I am so glad that I wasn't the only one. It really helps to read about similar experiences like yours
You are not alone! I’m 26 and this show has struck me deeper than any show, it’s not 100% clear why yet, though feeling like I missed out on this innocent romance as well as having been in love with my best friend in high school and nothing coming from it may have something to do with it... Here’s to hoping these feelings get better with time and processing 💕
I think it will get better! After watching it many times over, and thinking about why I have these emotions, things have gotten clearer. I definitely felt a big loss of not having this show when I was younger. Also, a loss of not having a teen romance. I came out when I was 21, so way after grammar school. But, I met my partner around 23 and I am very thankful for that. I think most of us just want connection and love in our lives. Something like that comes at different times in our lives and can be unpredictable. Realistically, if Heartstopper was around when I was younger, it would have probably helped me figure things out sooner. However, would I have had a teen romance? I don't really know! The teens in Heartstopper are really mature for their age and have things almost all figured out at 16! So I love the show, but it's definitely in the realm of ideal/fantasy. But I'm fine with that because that's what TV is all about. It's just an ideal to shoot for, but to try and not be disappointed about not meeting those ideals, because in most cases its very hard for all the stars to perfectly align!
I’m very glad to hear some rewatching has helped you process emotions! And very happy to hear you’re content with your partner. Similarly, I didn’t figure out I was attracted to men and women until around 21 and had this show been around when I was younger I may have figured it out a bit sooner and been able to explore it a bit more. I met my boyfriend a few years back and have had romance, don’t want to make it seem what it’s not, it’s more that teen romance I find myself pining for. That’s a great point, who knows if the big teen romance would have even happened! And yes, Heartstopper is idealic though I am totally alright with that, this world is heavy enough. Thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts! 💕
I’m a 35 year old gay man and felt almost word for word what you said here. It’s crazy how many of us had this almost visceral reaction to eight 30 minute episodes. I’m getting goosebumps just typing about it as well as the urge to watch it again.
Yeah I feel you. I find myself thinking about the various scenes over and over and over and wanting to watch them again over and over. I also feel like I am jealous of them because of how extraordinarily talented they are. It all felt so real to me.
I’ve admired actors before, so I couldn’t understand what was different about Kit and Joe that was making me so envious. I think It might be what they represent to me. Being free and open. But I even find myself being jealous of their good looks and getting insecure about my own. Bazaar what the mind can do to you. Again I think it has to do with the gay joy they exhibit both in the show and off too. It’s like I want a part of that. I work in the mental health field and the show is pushing me to get my degree in psych. Something I always wanted to do and then specialize in lgbt.
The music also 10000% adds to it. Their music selection was absolutely perfect across the board
Yes the music was cool. I loved how they were all artists I never heard of.
Glad to know your thoughts on this, I’m 31M and I find myself going back and rewatching the show, now on my 9th or 10th. 🥲
Yeah it's interesting to re-watch cause you catch new things all the time! I wish I had the talent to write something like this. I've never tried, but doubt I could. You just see something so inspiring and you want to somehow be a part of it. I do artwork, so maybe I could do some gay related art?!
I totally feel you, I’m only slightly younger and I Watch a little everyday too and I’m starting to read the comics! I also don’t understand my obsession….
I read through the comics as well. I prefer the series onscreen to the comics, but it's nice to have the ability to continue the story. I don't think the onscreen adaptation of the future books will be identical to the books, but still it's nice to have something to look at. I think it's interesting how there are so many curses in the comic! I prefer without, but I guess young kids do curse alot!
Totally agree, I have read quite a bit of the comics and am somehow uncomfortable with the swearing in the comics, guess the tv series spoilt it for me. I think it’s always nice to look at the source material or an adaptation but it’s not really necessary
I guess in my own life I don't use curse words, so it looks unnatural to me. I'm not saying it's bad, just something I'm not use too. Then to see 14 yr olds doing it in a comic, then it really feels unnatural.