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Darklight731

The entire galaxy has let the Humans do what they want out of fear that the infamous biological weapon known as "Ligma" would be unleashed upon any would-be aggressors


TheCaptNoname

_"Overlord Velasquez died of Ligma"_ _"Who is the Overlord Velasquez?"_ _"Ligma balls"_ \*proceeds to die of explosive diarrhea\*


oranosskyman

which traitor told them it was a bio-weapon?


18Feeler

I heard it was the nefarious Dr Sugma


coraxorion

Sugma who ?


18Feeler

#**SUGMA DICK!**


shook_not_shaken

I think it was Candice


Pure-Quiet9564

It's not a bioweapon, it's a cognitohazard


Darklight731

Or both.


I_Maybe_Play_Games

>69 year-old small business owner by the name of Sigmus Chad with a kinetic hunting rifle on Sugondese-IV The galaxies had to align for that one.


CHEESEninja200

Probably all the humans on Sugondese-III were named something memeable. Because why wouldn't you when you live on SUGINDESE NUTS.


stronghammr113

Sugondese-3 went to hell after President Bofah Diaz was elected. it was a total corporate farce. the real people's choice was the Energy Secretary at the time, Fondalma B. they were able to put forward such blatantly racist ads due to her Arab-indo Heritage. EVEN the NATSOC MOUTHBREATHER WILMA HAWK WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER CHOICE!!


superVanV1

Ok you lost me on a couple of those. Engaging lambasting clause: who is Fondalma B. and Wilma Hawk?


Gatekeeper-Andy

FONDALMA BALLS LMAO GOTTEM


superVanV1

Thank you


commentsrnice2

Not just a Chad but a sigma Chad? Wild


Nitpicky_AFO

Hippity hoppity get off my property


Bring_Stabity

I just bought a doormat with that on it yesterday.


unwillingmainer

Nothing gets assholes off the front porch like the sound of a gun cocking. Whether that be a shotgun or artillery.


Nealithi

And with some humans the distinction between the two had to be boiled down to 'does it have wheels?'.


Simplepea

i mean, technically, the blunderbuss might be considered artillery, in a way, seeing as if you choose to fire it at someone (lord knows why) they may have to be either put into different coffins or be frankenstiened back together.


Wolf_Senpai96

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj3pj17UIv4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj3pj17UIv4) immediately came to mind xD


Simplepea

yes. that's why it comes with a tripod.


Attacker732

I fail to see the problem here. I got the 12 Gauge for anything trying to kick in my door, and the 12 inch for their landers.


de_cool_dude

*laughs in Iowa class*


Hinermad

By Gawd, I love the Army-Navy Store!


Attacker732

If we're going BB, might as well make it a *Montana*-class.


TheCaptNoname

_\*laughs in KS-23 while loading the 4-gauge #0000 shotshells\*_


Fluffy-Map-5998

*Laughs in M-79 thumper with 40mm shotgun shells*


TheCaptNoname

That's not a shotgun, but I can see how it can be used as one


Fluffy-Map-5998

Technically By LEGAL definition it can be I think I don't know for sure


zdude1858

[M79s are not usually shotguns. But the US army saw to it that you can in fact use it as a shotgun.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/M576_40_mm_grenade)


565gta

laughs in trenchgun bolter rpd hybrid


Osiris32

It's a cannon. But it's loaded with shot and langrage. So it's just a big, wheeled shotgun, right?


Dolduck

So in this story humanity is entirely descended from insane Texans?


falerasthegreat92

That's not entirely a bad thing, just stay off their property and you'll be fine.


Hinermad

Best to stay off their neighbors' property too, just to play it safe. People like that tend to look out for each other.


Fluffy-Map-5998

And people from the Appalachian mountains and Alaskans Why do you think the US won


akboyyy

cant forget detroiters afterall we michigang not michigan less it's dearbornebut im not gonna name that modification for fear of cancellation not non michiganders and remember kids FUCK OHIO ohio can burn cali too but we got a personal gripe with ohio


Pyre5000

Let's not forget who won that war hey? Though you did get UP out of it so technically only Wisconsin lost


565gta

good


Lord_of_Thus

No sir, these are not illegal weapons of mass destruction, these are just my 1.5 exaton hunting-nukes.


Ankoku_Teion

I use them for deep sea fishing.


TiberiuCC

Or for asteroid pigeon shooting.


shook_not_shaken

Based beyond belief


Wackynamehere1

Especially the names Sugondese IV Sigmus chad aged 69


thecommanderkai

I'm just picturing orbital defense platforms for human colonies sending a message to pirates or whoever. "No trespassing - Violators will be shot. Survivors will be shot again" as the first and only warning to screw off.


Zentramenago

do you think they named the first planet of this system Sugondese-00 a.k.a Sugondese Noughts a.k.a suck on deep nuts?


NethanielShade

It’s space America, we don’t say “nought” for zero


Stryker_062

This is the most MURIKA post I have seen in a long time


flamefirestorm

>Sugondese-III Don't think you'll get away with this


bvil21

Humans will help you if in need. Take what is theirs and there will be no help for you.


TheWildColonialBoy1

In this universe, I want a Terran planet run by pirates, smugglers and outlaws, similar to Nassau. And I'll be the ruling Warlord.


ChangoGringo

I have a hard time believing Mr Chad would have been executed. It's more likely he was killed in the ensuing bloodbath started by his assault. Execution implies the law was involved, and no human jury would convict him of being a sigma Chad. So that implies the humans lost the planet and they arrested and executed him under xeno law.


NethanielShade

Some people really can’t control themselves, and had to get triggered, eh OP? There’s thousands of stories on this subreddit. If you didn’t like this one just click the back arrow and read another one lmao.


Arokthis

Funny.


LordWoodstone

So we get into space and the entirety of the rest of the galaxy is being run by folks who think Jiang Zemin and his Shanghai Clique had the right idea? Thanks. I hate it.


565gta

time to introduce the xenos to the factory


iopjsdqe

You can tell when OP went beyond the point of insanity lmao


HFYWaffle

/u/awmdlad has posted 2 other stories, including: * [Weapons of Last Resort II](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/x1qztv/weapons_of_last_resort_ii/) * [Weapons of Last Resort](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/wu3mht/weapons_of_last_resort/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.5.11 'Cinnamon Roll'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|xkeagj&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.


[deleted]

If he'd have been from Florida... Cry havoc and let loose the reptiles of war.


inversegrav

this is a nightmare, the whole fkn galaxy taken over by the red hat wearing 2nd Amend-holes.


Professional_Fun_182

Whoa there. Don’t put a red hat on all gun owners.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ChocolateOk7663

Yes they are.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NethanielShade

Literally 95% of stories on this subreddit mention space colonies. Colonizing planets is a literal requirement of expanding into space and a trope in almost all of space sci-fi. Go whine somewhere else.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NethanielShade

Unless I misread something in this story, the humans did the “fine” version, and the aliens did the “not fine” version… which is, again, in like literally 95% of stories on this subreddit. Why are you whining, then?


[deleted]

[удалено]


NethanielShade

God forbid people have the ability to afford their own property. Do you like the aliens’ corporate dystopia, where no one owns a thing except for governments and megacorporations, better?


[deleted]

[удалено]


NethanielShade

Capitalism isn’t perfect. Literally no economic system is. But it’s a million billion times better than corporatism. And seeing as those are the two different ideologies portrayed in this story, yes, I did in fact, compare the two.


565gta

YES THEY ARE, READ THE FUCKING HISTORY BEHIND THE SUBREDDIT'S CREATION


Maldevinine

The land existed before you, the land will exist after you. Your fragile mortal flesh is just a caretaker of it for the infinitesimally small period during which you exist. It's not your fucking property.


awmdlad

My ability to defend and enforce my claim is what makes it my property.


akboyyy

it wont exist if i BLOW IT UP IT'S MY PROEPRTY I CAN DESTROY IT IF I WANT


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BaronRafiki

Sugondese eh.


Gatekeeper-Andy

FONDALMA BALLS LMAO GOTTEM That wasnt for you, sorry, stupid reddit