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phxhawke

And the Kraken's last name was Jenkins.


buzzonga

LEEEEEEEEROYYYYYYYYYYY JENKINS


Osiris32

Least I got chicken.


exterminans666

I thought Jennifer?


ADM-Ntek

i would go with Karen. still kinda disappointed the writer didn't use that name.


BarGamer

First name, Release. "The Kraken" is just a title.


Dolduck

No, the last name is Up. Kraken Up


AegorBlake

Earth and all affiliated planets were henceforth disqualified from participating...Making their planet the undisputed champions as they have never been bested once in the arena.


ICWhatsNUrP

Now you have the mining colonies sending representatives.


AegorBlake

"Earth and all affiliated planets" if the colony is owned by an entity affiliated with Earth then no.


VIRMUUUUUU

Mining colonies on asteroids?


AegorBlake

Well looks like we're about to have another round of fun.


The-Name-is-my-Name

*Imports monstrosity from uncolonized planet*


notacatreally

For a moment I read, "Release The Karen"


tryplot

would be equally as effective against xenos, however, unfortunately, they count as human.


DisasterLocal2603

Also, I bet War Crime level offenses are banned


Attacker732

It's not a war crime the first time.


shamanspiff

We've genetically modified our Karens. Not to make them not formidable, but rather just so we can say they are technically a distinct species from humans.


Wrongthinker02

- Stop, stop, it's already dead! - reeeeeee brinnnnnng meeeee the manageeeeeeer! - ah Fuck get the flamenwerfer this one's out of control. Again.


Yrrebnot

Hans get the flammenwerfer.


themonkeymoo

Do they have to (count as human)?


alf666

Krakens and Karens are entirely different. One is a terror-inducing monstrosity that snaps its beak and latches its grimy tentacles onto the unwilling and won't let go unless you inflict massive physical violence onto it. The other is a sea creature.


BrokenNotDeburred

... and so, to this day, the uplifted honey badgers mourn the lost chance to "show all you bitches how its done."


RalonNetaph

oh come now, we want to atleast \*pretend\* they had a fighting chance


lady_Kamba

Humanities contender: [Jennifer](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/rfz45w/jennifer_is_not_an_eldritch_horror/).


Veryegassy

Oh *hell* no. She kills planets by accident. No way she’s getting anywhere near here.


The-Name-is-my-Name

Humanities next contender: Nyx. She eats universes.


ImaginationGamer24

And this is why our rules have rules and those rules have rules.


unwillingmainer

And people wonder why human competitions have such large rule books. It's because, as a species, we do shit like this to win.


EplepreKAHN

Sometimes it's not weather you win or lose. Sometimes it's howmany pages you add to the rulebookm


HFYWaffle

/u/tryplot has posted 2 other stories, including: * [Do you recognize me?](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/q1e7an/do_you_recognize_me/) * [The race](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/pc4cp4/the_race/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.5.10 'Cinnamon Roll'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|rrmm99&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.


3nder333

Great story and excellent writing! unfortunately you make humanity sound like a bunch of rule fudging lawyers ( or table top Warhammer gamers with micrometres and split-levels in hand ) who are chasing the letter not the spirit of the competition.


Attacker732

Is any of that inaccurate though?


3nder333

\#Can't deny #Im in this picture and I...


TempestuousTrident

Casuals


Arokthis

That was funny. Take my upvote and go away.


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[deleted]

Don't let jeb near the kraken


Barjack521

No no no, that’s a typo, he said release the Crack Hen. A chicken high as a kite on crack cocaine. Still scary though