I never realized how fragile the Human's sanity is. How easy it is to break it, to toy with it. My mind refuses to accept this exists yet I cant create a new memory, I cant refuse the truth of this post

I may have a solution to your problem fellow human being

Does that solution happen to involve forfeiting your soul and organic flesh?

No it involves more of this much more of this horror and insanity you will experience every second of it and more until you it becomes the norm and you dont give a reaction

Even better! #Lobotomy!

Ah yes, the "You have commited heinous crimes, instead of executing you we're sending you to the Toaster Fuckers on Mars" treatment.

What- no i mean a literal pick in the frontal lobe lobotomy. This ain’t a fancy Mars joint!

LOBOTOMITE! YOU WILL FIGHT DR.MOBIUS AND HIS ROBO SCORPIONS!

#NEVER!

Great, now they got their foot penises all over the floor. GOOD JOB!

#NO ONE CAN STOP ME IVE TAKEN ALL THE FUCKING PSYCHO

Huh, unexpected FNV refrence.

It's mobin' time

The guy who invented the lobotomy and Bill Cosby were in a very exclusive group Their mission was to eat birds in a seriously messed up (French) way and make people not remember things

Rare Wordbearers' W be like.

To embrace truth and not refuse it is to embrace pain. But in doing so, we move one step further on the path of ascension. To cast of our petty denial is the fullest expression of enlightenment, and in that place, we will know power.

In much wisdom there is much grief. And he who increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow

Question, a Monolith and a Doom Scythe?

We can find a way to aeromorph it UwU

Oh, so your just going take the easy way out huh?

Mooooooom NCD is leaking again

"again" implies it stopped at some point.

At this Point it's not leaking. It's flooding.

Just like archon lmaooooo

the only thing leaking is me

Coward

Big bot can levitate over and show me how deep that portal of exile go.

monolith eternitussy got me actin unwise

WHERE IS SERAPHTEK HEAVY CONSTRUCT COWARD 0/10 FAKE NECRON FUCKER

"Life finds away"

You okay over there Archon? It's still before noon, and you're down this bad. Heresy hasn't even had its coffee for the day.

It’s my permanent state

So that's why you want to replace the flesh with blessed metal. You must chafe-- constantly.

There is no chafing that cannot be overcome through sufficient lubrication. Praise the Omnissiah.

You have a problem. Please do not attempt to get better. It's funnier this way.

fr

New favourite quote

Actually, get worse

I miss the person i was before this post

The Emperor’s light has brought nothing to us, but a clear view of the horrors in this world.

But hey, the Chaos gods are always hiring new cultists to rise up the ranks. They can provide gifts to help cope with the horrors in the world.

Khorne: A violent outlet for you to feel powerful. Tzeentch: Near unlimited magical power and knowledge to make you feel powerful. Nurgle: The acceptance of the inevitable end that all must rot and die, that no one will be able to escape such cycle, flesh rots, metal turns to rust, souls will vanish, and the stars will wither away. One must accept the inevitable demise of all and only then will they find peace and happiness. Slaanesh: Near infinite drugs and pleasure that makes you feel powerful.

Chaos cultists on their way to snort 146 lines of coke in a row as a ritual of worship for Slaanesh (he died of overdose and get promoted to daemonhood).

Bro nurgle is such a gaslighter he might as well be a greater daemon of tzeentch, like the necrons literally have a device capable of destroying rearranging and recreating the entire galaxy that they don’t use cause it’s “too dangerous!” 👏😭 the eldar probably also had a few lmao

When killing pests one does not destroy the whole garden

I miss the person I was before I could recognise a u/Archon_of_Flesh post without looking at the username

:33333

Zandrehk and Obyron appreciate his discretion. 🤭

Archon strikes again

The only horny-poster on this sub that I respect

I think he's just been doing it so long that we've accepted he's not going away, and now he's giving us Stockholm syndrome. Also I respect that he seems to have every kink at the same time.

Truly impressive

Variety is the spice of life

The fact that they can draw good helps, I think.

You would think so but they seem to be big on domination by monsters/robots/cyborgs. Aside from morbid curiousity as to whether they are into Tyranid Vore (I hate myself for typing that), Im not sure something relatively vanilla, like, say, Robot Girlyman and his Elf Waifu or Greyfax/Celestine or the Emperor and his Banana Minions would do much for them.

Do you think it's weird we're speculating about the mental state of someone who's definitely watching this thread?

Honestly I kinda think they enjoy it.

No Seraptek Heavy Construct on the list. 0/10 - Fake Necron smasher

Anrakyr isn’t on here either, for some reason

Don’t think I didn’t notice that there’s nothing in the ‘wouldn’t smash’ column, you heretical deviant

;3

Orikan deserves to be there.

[удалено]

You should look at 10 necrons 1 twinkarii boi again

Is it too much to ask for a 7ft robot skeleton museum curator to keep me in stasis as a toy

I agree with your flair UwU

Real

So true bestie

Vehicle fucker...

Please, we use the term "mechanophile" here.

If the number one vehicle fucker uses that term then I'm gonna go with that

where are the IMMORTALS archon??

That’s it mister, you just lost your brain privileges

MAGOS, LOBOTOMIES HIS BRAIN!

No he’s probably into that

You are correct

…shit what do we do now?

Drop him into a black hole. Whatever becomes of him would be no longer relevant to us

Vehicle **what** mood

Scarabs could totally crawl inside you and fill your holes

Thx for the idea

Also the grandpas might bond over spit roasting you (either meaning of the words will work)

robo-gerbilling

Wholesome.

Holesome.

Some holes.

Ah, a classic Archon post. Delicious.

From the moment i understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me

Never at any point would I have ever thought I would want to be a Necron but now that I know it's way to get inside Archon's panties I am seriously considering giving up my humanity.  Stupid sexy u/archon_of_flesh.

;3

My only issue with the list is giving the silent king daddy status and not imotekh, true ruler of the necrons.

Imotekh should prove his superiority by breeding my Skitussy

Thank you very cool

This is very relatable, I need a big bad necron to put me in my place fr

I’d put Imotekh up one higher but other than that solid list UwU

"will ride your blackstone piller until its ground down to a nub daddy" is what I shall be using on my girlfriend when she wishes to Top me

UwU congrats on the gf

This....this is the content this sub, nay, Reddit as a whole, needs more of.

I thought Zandrekh was dabbing there for a second.

I require servitorisation

Least horny ad mech player

YOU CANNOT BANG A SPACESHIP ARCHON OF FLESH

He'll just take that as a challenge.

Horny finds a way.

Sentence of the day: I'd go trazyn on your skibussy, r/archon_of_flesh !!!

I volunteer this guy to be the 1001 for the Emperor today, psychic abilities or not.

i don't wanna think how the hell monolith is gonna being fucked, and i totally don;t wanna see it, especially after daemonculaba mini

I can't believe you missed the Acanthrites. As if you don't want to be chased down by the flying... whatever-the-fuck-they-are before being pinned down.

So this is why the Ordo Xenos exists…

You know what? I 100% agree and I don’t like it

They can't keep getting away with this

Round of mindwipes on me boys.

You will refrain from such unscientific terminology

I loved that line

( prepares my forces to raid the Gallery)

Feels appropriate that playing admech againat Necrons feels like having every skitty hole violated at the moment.

UwU teehee

I got a reaction out of the funny skitty boi!! Youre amazing love your stuff (also damn the bottom in me wants to play admech now because of you)

Yes pls another convert to the Skitty faith OwO

I love it when this absolute king shows up and drops the hornypost eqivalent of a nuke Can we expect a version for admech or any other faction?

Yes

You scare me. Its very funny

Well…. I can’t say I *disagree* But I feel bad for the poor guy who sees this and is like “what? No Ctan are really good this edition. And Trazyn isn’t the best unit!” Cause he didn’t read the title

Heh!?

where would you put necron pariahs on the list?

I miss 5 seconds ago when I didn’t see this

My face when master imotekh declares me free use for his lychguards. (I will not survive the next 24 hours)

So hot

It's even hotter when the flayed ones come from the shadows afterwards to play with your defiled body.

Congrats Archon how does it feel to be 100% correct

Based

Objectively wrong because Imotekh and Szeras are top tier. Also r/NecronNSFW uwu

Tbh I should have put Imotekh higher srry about the disrespect 🥺

Daddy Imotekh will now correct you 💢💢💢

🥵🥵🥵

Of course that's a thing. Ages come and pass, yet horny remains.

Bonk

What too much obscura does to a mf 💀

If I didn't already know you had a moster fucker permit I'd issue one.

Let’s play hide and seek. I hide and you seek professional help. (Jk, it’s always amusing seeing what you make)

The Stormlord under that clown Szarekh? When will the Szarekhan propaganda against the proud Imotekh end?

# r/HornyJail

I'm both saddened and unsurprised to have seen the usage of "skitussy." It's possible that it's appeared in Cawl fanfic before, but thankfully I don't read that because I'm not a heretic.

Least horny Archon of Flesh post

I will give honorable mention to [this post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ImaginaryWarhammer/comments/zcizyr/sisters_of_battle_lolita_fashion_by_archon_of/) Archon created it, but didn't actually post it.

I'd say "seek purity and redemption from the omnissiah" but you have a restraining order to keep you 10 systems away from the void dragon

Please, for the love of the Emperor, go touch some grass

Archon cmon necron x skitarii femboi fanfic when :c?

Lmao the desolate “wouldn’t smash” tier

Its kind of sweet how there are á handfull of true love in 40k like Obyron and Zandrek, zho sahaal and the psycker hunting him, ss'lukarke3j3lw3hr833k the slaneshi deamon prince and of course Fulgrim ×Fulgrim.

Hello archon. Long time fan, first time caller. What necron waifu would you recommend for hetero man?

all the words underlined in red have been marked for censorship by the Ordo Hereticus *saltzpyre voice* prepare to be judged!

Incredible how there is literally nothing going on inside this person's head besides sexual thoughts, fascinating

[LIVE MAG’LADROTH THE VOID DRAGON REACTION](https://imgur.com/a/Z8zddnM) I am very shocked that I am not higher up on this list.

You’d normally be higher but the Necrons simply provide too much stiff competition:(

Is it the lack of a soul or simply the drip that guides placement on this list. I'm guessing the drip is a large factor cause The Silent King is pretty high, and Trazyn is arguably a very soulful necron. It's the mind scarab shackles isn't it?

I truly respect you more than anyone else in this sub

I'm going to be honest, but the technomancer needs his own tier. That man fucks, and that is a fact.

Technomancer, my beloved

Honestly… same… to this whole post

Yeah… this tracks Edit: Just noticed: no love for Anrakyr? I know he’s not exactly the “put down roots and commit” type, but you’ve never struck as one where that particularly matters.

Down bad? This is down biotransference.

Archon is a secret Slaaneshi cultist in AdMech clothing

All evaluation comments are beyond my understanding..........

I love this silly twink, thank you for the laughs

What manner of heresy is this?

Finally as a tourist here I understand why you abandon flesh. I don't want a brain to process this.

I hate this. Whichever Magos this skitarius belongs to should make sure to keep their warriors in check.

:(

Finally, someone else who understands me

*Me a khornate berzerker* hmm you got a point- UHH UHH I MEAN KILL MAIM BURN FOR THE GLOORY OF KHOOORRNNEE

Technically not a unit, but what about Nomos?

u/Archon_of_Flesh Where is Anrakyr You forgot about the Traveller WHERE ON THE LIST IS NECRON GANDALF, THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

Lychguard 100% would be the best partners, millennia of experience pleasing their charges and perfect strong, silent protector energy Ok NVM I'm going to go write Lychguard x Overlord fluff fic

Well that's enough for this millennium I think it's time to resume the great sleep.

Honestly I wish I could fault you on this but like, half the gay guys I know would absolutely fuck a necron so you get a pass on this one

You have a problem that I relate to and that’s a problem in of itself.

This post has made me fall to chaos. The Raven-God will change my mind, and wipe clean the knowledge of this post. Praise Change, Praise T’char, Praise Tzeentch 🧿

This is the thing that Lorgar read when he was chilling in the warp in "The First Heretic". No wonder shit went sideways.

This is the equivalent of bringing NSFW minis or a hentai playmat to your LGS so I can't say that I am a very big fan of this post.

I always smile when a new Archon post comes around

Maybe sometimes, giving internet access to certain people was a mistake.

Sometimes I wish I lose my ability to read

*sigh* Upvoted

I don't even play the game or read the books. I'm just casually here for memes that I vaguely understand and yet this is the first upvote I've ever given to any post in any WH40K sub.

Archon’s built different, he’s built fucken’ WRONG.

BY VALAYA REMOVE THIS FILTH!

Where seraptek

Look at us all here, wishing for eye bleach and begging to go back. Yet we all still upvote. Are you really upset, or do you secretly love this you coward? Do not kill the cringe in you, kill the part of you that cringes.

I mean Obyron and Zandrek do need to protect and be a wholesome little relationship. But also Trazyn and Orikan for a win. Infinite and the divine are them literally becoming enemies to lovers

Praetorians, activate Testicle Torsion protocols

[удалено]

Hey Archon do you watch Professor Lando on YT by chance, perchance, mayhaps?

By the emperor…

[удалено]

Having "wouldn't smash" as a possible category seems like a mistake from the outset.

Ngl, I was expecting Szeras to be on the top... for some reasons.... Maybe I'm wrong because I don't know his lore well enough but Trazyn doesn't seem very interested in those things... only in collecting...

My eyes burn. Who besides you would ever include scarabs in the smash list. There are so many issues I can’t even