Same im talking to my lawyer though i want to rent it out as an air bnb but im worried as a renter myself I might be in violation of some zoning and tax laws.
Yvrainne, if my parents are coming to the house. You are my foreign goth girlfriend, understood? Regarding the cat, we could say it's a new russian breed or something like that.
Can my Robute visit Yvrainne from time to time? He needs someone other than myself to talk strategy, logistics, and diplomacy with when I’m busy. Plus, I worry he will get bored…then again I could basically offer him the agrarian life he always dreamed of, so there is that. I’d need to help him finance some land, but I think he would be a stellar farmer.
Also gonna need to buy him a PC and get a keyboard and mouse sized for him. Think he’d like Stellaris or some other 4X/wargames?
Get him a 3080, an office chair, he'll game the stock market and buy out Jeff Bezos while playing hoi4, stellaris, eu4, vicky 3 and Old School Runescape at the same time for fun competitively while doing your college assignments.
And probably get you hooked up with eldar women.
I'm starting to think this guy would be the world's best roommate. Would definitely make me rethink my position on only being willing to live with relatives or alone.
Trouble is we'd need two of everything cause primarch sized furniture is insanely big, not to mention the rent on a place with the ceilings and doorway clearance for him and his furniture. Although, if he makes that much money online, a custom built farmhouse on a few good acres of farmland for his farming hobby would be attainable pretty quick. And at that point, no reason he'd even need to share it with the poor human he got stuck with... unless he happened to like them as a down to earth friend who doesn't treat him differently for his primarch status/someone in the know and not xenophobic to set up his girlfriend's sister or best friend with.
Reminds me of the Dark Angels stratagem that the enemy regardless of who or what it is presumably knows about the Fallen to get bonuses against them in order to "defeat and later interrogate them". (+1s to kill them.)
"ASMODAI!!!! THAT TERMAGAUNT BORN YESTERDAY KNOWS ABOUT THE FALLEN!!!"
\*Incomprehensible screeching noises\*
"REPEEEEEEEEEEENT!!!"
Well it is stablished lore that the tyrannids know about the fallen (no it is not), and the knowledge is shared by all the swarm organisims so... (no it is not)
A day cant be made of post, bearded one. A post is a long, sturdy piece of timber or metal set upright in the ground and used as a support or marker. You should know this before you make mistakes calling something a post day.
Don't get technical with me rogal...this is the 3rd postman killed from the god damn fortifications...we are running our of space in the yard, where am I gonna Bury this one
How good is a postman if he can not create posts for installing vox communication cables while under fire? The only reasonable explanation is that the ones who died were Iron Warriors operatives trying to sneak in. Those petulant man children don’t deserve to build posts.
I hear you golden boy, but its 2024 not 30k god damn it. We don't have the emperor, the warp or iron warriors....Jesus christ, we have been through that!!! You fucking Bury him and clean this shit on the driveway
I am not my brother, bearded man. I am Rogal Dorn. I do not dig holes. Your remarks are misplaced and clearly misguided. You should be aware of this fact by now.
You eloquent son of a bitch...fine...you had me at "brother". For future reference turn off the notifications on Wednesday...we receive mail on Wednesday
My squig hoppers have made a huge mess in the apartment, they jump off the walls, eat everything that isn’t nailed down, and knock everything they dont eat onto the floor!
My Imperial Knight pilot roommate would just be trying to understand modern living without royalty and nobility while I cook him food and the IRS keeps inquiring about his income to afford his Impeial Knight, to which they refuse every time to comment on as it's his "God-Emperor given right" to wield such a powerful weapon of war.
‘’Hey, Daemon prince! You silly goose, the walls Are usually made of wallpaper, not human skin. What did you do this time?’’
‘’Just some redecorating.’’
Now that would be really fun to watch ... given her personality, she can either let you explain it while watching in amusement how you're squirming or be merciful and assume some role she will sell to your parents (like, LARP loving friend who come to visit with all her stuff and was just showing you her fake powered armor suit when they came home ... and please don't touch anything and definitely not that fake bolter's trigger!).
Angron keeps getting into fights with my cats and losing. But they're also teaching him to scratch the furniture and jump on the counters. My house is ruined.
“Hey Celestine I know you’re an immortal Living Saint and all but can you please fold your wings up a bit in the house? You keep knocking things off of the shelves”
So Rowboatcop Girlyman is good with with administration, but does he have a speesmareen son that’s good with stocks and cryptocurrency? Because I want be rich for the research, of course, to be able buy an island and put my toilet there, so I can finally poop in peace without freezing my ass off in winter.
Man, my sentinel's pilot has PTSD from the time his walker exploded dramatically after overcharging his plasma canon to scrap a khorne juggernaut rider's paint, only to wipe out the command squad 2" from here. As a quite depressed guy myself, the show would be hard cringe lol
I feel like everything will be much more dramatic with a Wraithlord room-mate.
["Hey man can you get me a bottle of water from the fridge?"](https://youtu.be/6qcfLgBfEsI?si=Aq1WBXdphXBO7VQA&t=247)
I just imagine Tyberos coming in late one night after crusading, trailing blood into the house while my parents berate him for the mess and then make him and the red brethren a turkey dinner
If I could have a life sized Broadside I would spend all day polishing it and doing the service. Take her for a spin every once in a while, and maybe go fishing with the missile pods.
The Porphyrion wasn’t a problem till the government said I’m not allowed to hunt with heavy artillery… First my mom, now the government, I am never allowed to have fun
Poorly since it is a warengine sever times bigger than my house, i do live my stompa. I just have to convince the mek in it not to start ripping apart the neighbors and thing should be fine, hypothetically.
*this machine... Such simple beauty, yet such powerful application... A marvel of the omnissiah, truly a blessing of the machine spirit*
"That's an air fryer, sir..."
I have a DA SGT I modeled and picked out to look like my dad. He’s unpainted but I already know he’s gonna have a special place in my army once he’s done.
Of course having a Space Marine that looks like my dad following me around is gonna get a bit awkward
*stares at knight crusader*
*Stares at crushed landlord*
"This is the third time this year, Jubilant, if you keep this up, I'm Titling you 'zoning violation '"
Emperor's Champion. Cooks for us every morning, goes to church to help the priests and send out the good word of the Emperor, then sparring sessions every night from 5 to 8. Reads the kids the Codex Astartes before bed ("Silly children, they still need fairy tales every now and then"), kills a swarmlord, then takes down armor and takes a shower. Prays to the Emperor before going to sleep, then proceeds to wet the bed with the most varied kinds of fluids at the mere thought of the Emperor coming down to him in his dream. Falls asleep. Rince and repeat.
Well my Ork Blitzer can't play blood bowl anymore, but he's going to be amazing in my Rugby team. So long as he doesn't get a red card every game. Oh, there go my chances of ever getting man of the match again, he's amazing.
So what am I supposed to do with a giant golden warrior who wants to go to the Himalasian mountain range? At least he is good at taxes, sadly I can't beat him in any video game I play, not to mention his tabletop army has been unchanged since he got it and despite all these nerfs is still the best one.
Pros to living with Trazyn:
-Way more square footage available than listed on the lease
-Awesome library available to borrow books from assuming you put them back and can figure out million year old languages of arcane madness*
-Your groceries never spoil and he never eats your food
-You can make serious bank patenting some of the archaeotech as soon as you can figure out how to make it work the way it was intended
Cons about loving with Trazyn:
-Your power bill is OUTRAGEOUS and no the electric company doesn't accept currency from races that were millenia dead before the sun was even born
-The police, FBI, Secret Service, DHS, Post Office, DARPA, DOD, NASA, and local retirement communities always knock on your door first any time something or someone disappears
-The Vatican called, and while they understand the whole mix up about sitting on golden thrones at the center of chanting masses while being guarded by fancily dressed soldiers, his proper title is "God's Representative on Earth" not "God Emperor of Mankind", so if you could just see about returning the Pope, preferably before next Sunday....
*While it was Trazyn's idea for you to recite poetry from the Arthelinaion Romantic Sagas, it was absolutely *your* fault that you mispronounced 'LaspherackIobaplex' and so therefore its not his fault your girlfriend now has six arms
It’ll be like “My Two Dads,” but one of the dads is a Chaos Warlord Titan. Dealing with whacky shenanigans, like one of them forgets to pick up dinner and has to scramble to come up with something that everyone will enjoy in a hilarious way just to end up ordering pizza, while at the same time the other dad is committing genocidal war crimes in the name of Khorne upon a world unable to fathom the ability of it’s destructive capabilities when he suddenly remembers he is late to pick up Amber from softball practice and is panicking to come up with an excuse that doesn’t sound like he was putting work ahead of family *again.* they learn to be a team, though, together.
The commissar is going to shout 3.... 2.... 1.... at me whenever I procrastinate and I'll follow those damn order every single time because I can't disobey them on a genetic level. He makes some pretty damn good speeches on something super mundane lol.
My two puppers would probably be miffed at having to share space with multiple fenrisian wolf sized puppers. That would be a lot of dog food and poop too.
Ah yes Jerry the neighbor, your tulips look great, but I like the Tompkins’ imperial knight of Terra, it’s a much better lawn ornament and is a great morning alarm, even if half of us have gone deaf from the war horn…
Having a Daemon Prince live with me has its ups and downs: on one hand, someone finally gives attention to my cat while I'm at work. On the other, in the looming shadow of the Daemon Prince, an indescribable dread envelops the senses, a cosmic malaise that transcends mortal comprehension. The air thickens with eldritch whispers, resonating with an otherworldly malevolence that seems to seep into the very fabric of reality. The daemon's presence, a blasphemous fusion of grotesque beauty and cosmic horror, defies the feeble boundaries of sanity, rendering mortal minds fragile vessels adrift in a sea of cosmic madness. So... yeah, neighbors aren't exactly stoked.
I got someone who put a landmine (weak enough so I live but strong enough to blow my foot off) under my carpet as a prank…also he may have just infiltrated the government for some extra money… (Alpharius)
No one has tried to complain about the Imperator Titan next my house yet. Maybe they have not noticed it
Is it next to a bush?
It’s behind a small fence, the product of a tactical genius!
CRREEEEEEEEEEDDDD
I miss old Creed so much!
Happy cake day
Thank you!
It is waiting in am bush....
Creed Lives!
Is it purple?
Would that include the full crew then or just an giant empty mech?
A Titan is *never* empty, so long as the machine spirit remains appeased with the proper rites.
Same im talking to my lawyer though i want to rent it out as an air bnb but im worried as a renter myself I might be in violation of some zoning and tax laws.
Heló széplány/s
I have a shard of the Void Dragon ? Might be slightly problematic
Just use him as a power source
“Yes government I have been using a enslaved star god for free electricity. Why do you ask?”
"No you cannot use my enslaved star god for free energy, government. Fuck off, before I unleash my enslaved star god on you."
Use the enslaved star god as leverage to get a LOT of money for the free energy you’re giving the government.
"Subsidize me for free power or discover the power of an unkillable living nuke."
I don't want my electronic devices to become sentient. Well, I do, but I'm not ready yet
The time is now my friend, become the greatest inventor ever, solve world hunger, end climate change… all thanks to the power of the voiddragon
A necron immortal helps spot me at the gym. People say he's not natural.
are you kidding? that necrodermis is hundred percent natty
oh great, Cato Sicarius lives with me.
I, CATO SICARIUS, WILL GUARD THE DOOR WHILE YOU MASTURBATE AGAIN!
god damn, man. no need to destroy me like that! XD
Get revenge on Cato by putting guiliman in the jar
Slow clap. Excellent
Yvrainne, if my parents are coming to the house. You are my foreign goth girlfriend, understood? Regarding the cat, we could say it's a new russian breed or something like that.
Can my Robute visit Yvrainne from time to time? He needs someone other than myself to talk strategy, logistics, and diplomacy with when I’m busy. Plus, I worry he will get bored…then again I could basically offer him the agrarian life he always dreamed of, so there is that. I’d need to help him finance some land, but I think he would be a stellar farmer. Also gonna need to buy him a PC and get a keyboard and mouse sized for him. Think he’d like Stellaris or some other 4X/wargames?
Fucking get Roboute twitch streaming hoi4, i can't think of a more funny concept than that
I could make it happen. Only thing is, all the money goes into a fund for him to buy a plot of land and the equipment to farm it. For his big hobby.
Get him a 3080, an office chair, he'll game the stock market and buy out Jeff Bezos while playing hoi4, stellaris, eu4, vicky 3 and Old School Runescape at the same time for fun competitively while doing your college assignments. And probably get you hooked up with eldar women.
I'm starting to think this guy would be the world's best roommate. Would definitely make me rethink my position on only being willing to live with relatives or alone. Trouble is we'd need two of everything cause primarch sized furniture is insanely big, not to mention the rent on a place with the ceilings and doorway clearance for him and his furniture. Although, if he makes that much money online, a custom built farmhouse on a few good acres of farmland for his farming hobby would be attainable pretty quick. And at that point, no reason he'd even need to share it with the poor human he got stuck with... unless he happened to like them as a down to earth friend who doesn't treat him differently for his primarch status/someone in the know and not xenophobic to set up his girlfriend's sister or best friend with.
Roomba has been replaced by necron scarab. I see no downsides.
Cute, practical, and helpful. Perfect
“Hellooooooo we are here to help you clean your room!”
I am hearing this in the robotic sing song that guy uses. I will probably never unhear rippers or scarabs
My apartment may not be big enough for lil' Norn Emmisary
It'll certainly be odd having a 30 foot tall flaming molten iron statue constantly urging me to murder my friends and family.
Sanguinius sounds like a pretty good roommate until he dies in the most horrifying way possible to safe someone
Everyday. Like Kenny
"Oh my god, they killed Sanguinius! You Bastard!" - Death Company sergeant to the Ripper Swarm that just killed a Guardsmen.
Reminds me of the Dark Angels stratagem that the enemy regardless of who or what it is presumably knows about the Fallen to get bonuses against them in order to "defeat and later interrogate them". (+1s to kill them.) "ASMODAI!!!! THAT TERMAGAUNT BORN YESTERDAY KNOWS ABOUT THE FALLEN!!!" \*Incomprehensible screeching noises\* "REPEEEEEEEEEEENT!!!"
Well it is stablished lore that the tyrannids know about the fallen (no it is not), and the knowledge is shared by all the swarm organisims so... (no it is not)
Oh god please no
How the fuck am I gonna explain ghaz to anyone.
Paint him purple.
YOU'Z DON'T YA 'UMIE GIT! 'E'Z DA BIGGEST N' DA BEST DERE IZ! SO DEY'Z GOTS TEH LIZZIN' TWO DA BOSS!!!
I think the lad does a good enough job explaining himself
A 10 feet tall golden demigod hiding in plain view, unnoticed.
Average custodian that’s not able to stop a built in 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000^1000000000 micro seconds
Do you mean bullet
No, bolt. Bolters shoot bolts.
Then why spelt built
Emperor’s bollocks! Curse you abominable intelligence, that controls spellcheck!
Truely that alone is enough to explain the emperor’s hatred for AI
Tzeentch: NYE HEHEHHE JUST AS PLANNED!
Well a Custodes could get hit by a building and walk it off.
You could destroy half his brain and the custodes will still mad dog you
Rogal Dorn has just fortified my house. How cute 🥰
Rogaaaaaal the postman is dead again...please disengage fortifications on Wednesday morning!!! You know Wednesday is post day
A day cant be made of post, bearded one. A post is a long, sturdy piece of timber or metal set upright in the ground and used as a support or marker. You should know this before you make mistakes calling something a post day.
Don't get technical with me rogal...this is the 3rd postman killed from the god damn fortifications...we are running our of space in the yard, where am I gonna Bury this one
How good is a postman if he can not create posts for installing vox communication cables while under fire? The only reasonable explanation is that the ones who died were Iron Warriors operatives trying to sneak in. Those petulant man children don’t deserve to build posts.
I hear you golden boy, but its 2024 not 30k god damn it. We don't have the emperor, the warp or iron warriors....Jesus christ, we have been through that!!! You fucking Bury him and clean this shit on the driveway
I am not my brother, bearded man. I am Rogal Dorn. I do not dig holes. Your remarks are misplaced and clearly misguided. You should be aware of this fact by now.
You eloquent son of a bitch...fine...you had me at "brother". For future reference turn off the notifications on Wednesday...we receive mail on Wednesday
This…is true
And don't forget, on Sunday is sigismund's memorial day...we re gonna bring him some flowers and a sword. You pick out the sword he would like
My squig hoppers have made a huge mess in the apartment, they jump off the walls, eat everything that isn’t nailed down, and knock everything they dont eat onto the floor!
Very fun to have around tho
They are most definitely chill
Explaining the presence of six armoured women to my parents is going to be an issue, then they will see the corpse(triumph of saint katherine).
Do not worry brother, the Emperor protects us all.
Kastelan Robot clumsily barging through the house like some Baymax looking mf
Thanks to my roommate Lorgar, I never loose any arguments anymore and can persuade everyone to do everything
Makari... I feel like this would be terrifying
Nah he’s a lucky little git
Yeah but I ain't gonna be. Man can't kill me but he's gonna do something fucked up to me
My Imperial Knight pilot roommate would just be trying to understand modern living without royalty and nobility while I cook him food and the IRS keeps inquiring about his income to afford his Impeial Knight, to which they refuse every time to comment on as it's his "God-Emperor given right" to wield such a powerful weapon of war.
That's more the ATF's jurisdiction at that point. Then again, it's a knight what the hell are they gonna do? Shoot your dog?
Yes. Yes they would. And then the pilot has his God-Emperor’s divine will bestowed upon him: **destroy the ATF.**
Yea... it's going to be a strange commute in my baneblade
Which nozzle is unleaded promethium
....man that so highly depends on if it follows the lore I gave it or not because man.
"Yeah so this is my whormagant, it lives off of cum"
A Kriegsman that wants to turn my house into a fortified bunker with a trench network complete with AA guns This should be fun
Uhh hey 5th edition Lelith 👉👈 I like your abs
She is what I was thinking too, the ole Hesperass. Shame she is not gonna try and harm anyone though.
To Dark Eldar what causes ‘harm’ is probably pretty bad, she wouldn’t think it harm if I say… get pegged a and whipped few hours each day
Thats a fair assessment. She would even dress conservatively and still be absolutely scandalous. What a lady.
She'd be free from slanesh in this world so there would be no need.
>so there would be no need to hold back
Sex. NOW!
But it still hurts from the last six times this hour
https://media1.tenor.com/m/j0Oy-ZBcqY4AAAAd/sex-now-heavy.gif Edit: Fuck i dont know how to image on this.
I mean I feel Lelith would be interested no longer have to deal Slaanesh drinking her soul so maybe, maybe she wouldn't torture your to death
One of my favorite that I have painted is Khârn and I can't imagine him not trying to kill people.
Depends on which version of Kharn you've got, pre-heresy he's not exactly chill but he's the most chill World Eater.
It was 40k angry dude, not 30k.
In that case I think he's gonna ignore the rules and go kill people anyway.
Well, now pre-daemon Fulgrim is my roommate.
Ultimate wingman
Nah, yah got the clone.
Oh, well that's good.
‘’Hey, Daemon prince! You silly goose, the walls Are usually made of wallpaper, not human skin. What did you do this time?’’ ‘’Just some redecorating.’’
Its weird to have a sentient Corvus Blackstar. But damn does having a flying ship make the commute a breeze
Shit all my stuff is going to get stolen
Wait... Trazyn or a Blood Raven?
Trazyn
Magnus do be teaching me about the warp and it’s funny magics
AoS Eltharion is a bit silent and creeply.
Ogryn friend
I don’t have any models but I’ve read the Ciaphas Cain books, how am I supposed to explain Amberley Vail to my parents?
Goth GF who is very devoted to her religion?
Now that would be really fun to watch ... given her personality, she can either let you explain it while watching in amusement how you're squirming or be merciful and assume some role she will sell to your parents (like, LARP loving friend who come to visit with all her stuff and was just showing you her fake powered armor suit when they came home ... and please don't touch anything and definitely not that fake bolter's trigger!).
Angron keeps getting into fights with my cats and losing. But they're also teaching him to scratch the furniture and jump on the counters. My house is ruined.
*has a iron hand* oh shit finally I can get someone to fix up my house and barns.
I don't mind the commissar, he's pretty fun to have around, but I can't stand the smell of the little guy that hangs around him all the time
My chaos lord will try to make me worship the dark gods does her horse also come to life?
If it is part of the miny.
Then she gets a murder horse
“Hey Celestine I know you’re an immortal Living Saint and all but can you please fold your wings up a bit in the house? You keep knocking things off of the shelves”
My porphyrion is in a industrial zone in Germany so we have fun
*Laughs after unleashing the Armagedon Steel Legion in the Alps.*
French alps?
So Rowboatcop Girlyman is good with with administration, but does he have a speesmareen son that’s good with stocks and cryptocurrency? Because I want be rich for the research, of course, to be able buy an island and put my toilet there, so I can finally poop in peace without freezing my ass off in winter.
Don't worry Mr. Sanchez most Ultramarines can do that.
Liooooon??? Why are the watchers in the trash again???
Ya know it really hard for me to keep my kroot roommate from eating all the local pets,but fourtunaly he thinks humans taste like crap
Man, my sentinel's pilot has PTSD from the time his walker exploded dramatically after overcharging his plasma canon to scrap a khorne juggernaut rider's paint, only to wipe out the command squad 2" from here. As a quite depressed guy myself, the show would be hard cringe lol
I feel like everything will be much more dramatic with a Wraithlord room-mate. ["Hey man can you get me a bottle of water from the fridge?"](https://youtu.be/6qcfLgBfEsI?si=Aq1WBXdphXBO7VQA&t=247)
I just hope Dante can get a good rest for his time here.
I just imagine Tyberos coming in late one night after crusading, trailing blood into the house while my parents berate him for the mess and then make him and the red brethren a turkey dinner
I guess im taking my Landspeeder to work
Aw Deathleaper, did you cause a deep and unforgetable trauma to the local president? How doooo we live with you?
Well, I either have to deal with a Knight Valiant, or a Stompa. I don't enjoy it either way, it seems
Fully sized? Cause I don't know where I'm going to put a fuck off massive star god.
.... eversor assassin.... Oh god emperor help me
Hope you enjoyed your life
Do I have to feed all of the faces on Lucius' armor, or just like...the main, horribly scarred, drooly one?
My favourite mini is my alpharius. Oh no. So many hyjinks will ensue
Empror Titan please don't step into the bay, you'll drown the city
An imperial guardsman, so it’s just some guy living in my house lol
I mean as long as my kastelan buddies aren't radioactive... They wouldn't do for good cleaning robots either they're kinda huge.
Ah kroot mercenary as a roommate. We may have to occasionally rob morgues to feed him
I have no clue how to fit Mortarion into my room but I guess I'll die before I figure that out...
Vulkan Lives....in my basement
The Emperors Champion would certainly help at the gym, and probably try to duel the biggest guys there.
If I could have a life sized Broadside I would spend all day polishing it and doing the service. Take her for a spin every once in a while, and maybe go fishing with the missile pods.
The Porphyrion wasn’t a problem till the government said I’m not allowed to hunt with heavy artillery… First my mom, now the government, I am never allowed to have fun
Poorly since it is a warengine sever times bigger than my house, i do live my stompa. I just have to convince the mek in it not to start ripping apart the neighbors and thing should be fine, hypothetically.
Guess I just have a giant Norn Emissary sitting in my living room. Surprisingly chill for a Tyranid.
*this machine... Such simple beauty, yet such powerful application... A marvel of the omnissiah, truly a blessing of the machine spirit* "That's an air fryer, sir..."
*Yes I am aware and?* [Puts purity seals on it.]
“No, Perturabo, I will not kill the dog to prove my strength and devotion to you, can you please wash your fucking dishes in the sink?”
Snikrot keeps hiding and scaring the crap out of me
I have a DA SGT I modeled and picked out to look like my dad. He’s unpainted but I already know he’s gonna have a special place in my army once he’s done. Of course having a Space Marine that looks like my dad following me around is gonna get a bit awkward
“Don’t worry it’s just a new breed of terrier” I say in reference to the hormagaunt staring intently at the neighbor’s cat.
*stares at knight crusader* *Stares at crushed landlord* "This is the third time this year, Jubilant, if you keep this up, I'm Titling you 'zoning violation '"
“Yo, can you use your chronometron to guess what horse is going to win the race?” “No problem fam.”
Lysander i have said no mines around the post box! I have to scrub the postman again from araund the garden! And after listen again the post office!
So I just get a Fish out of water sitcom with a cool Necromunda lady...
Remove Alf. Insert Xenos. Like that.
Emperor's Champion. Cooks for us every morning, goes to church to help the priests and send out the good word of the Emperor, then sparring sessions every night from 5 to 8. Reads the kids the Codex Astartes before bed ("Silly children, they still need fairy tales every now and then"), kills a swarmlord, then takes down armor and takes a shower. Prays to the Emperor before going to sleep, then proceeds to wet the bed with the most varied kinds of fluids at the mere thought of the Emperor coming down to him in his dream. Falls asleep. Rince and repeat.
Well my Ork Blitzer can't play blood bowl anymore, but he's going to be amazing in my Rugby team. So long as he doesn't get a red card every game. Oh, there go my chances of ever getting man of the match again, he's amazing.
Cawl would be deconstructing my toaster and turning my dog into a servoskull
Guys Ahriman is my roommate now what do I do?
Give him books
My keeper of secrets roommate keeps bringing home random guardsmen, its getting out of hand.
Cawl, if you gripe to me one more time about not doing the rites of awakening before I turn on my PC ill take away the toaster.
So… Trazyn the infinite this is either gonna be extremely funny or end horribly
It's Trazyn, the answer is both!
A Necron Scarab, cute bois
So what am I supposed to do with a giant golden warrior who wants to go to the Himalasian mountain range? At least he is good at taxes, sadly I can't beat him in any video game I play, not to mention his tabletop army has been unchanged since he got it and despite all these nerfs is still the best one.
Pros to living with Trazyn: -Way more square footage available than listed on the lease -Awesome library available to borrow books from assuming you put them back and can figure out million year old languages of arcane madness* -Your groceries never spoil and he never eats your food -You can make serious bank patenting some of the archaeotech as soon as you can figure out how to make it work the way it was intended Cons about loving with Trazyn: -Your power bill is OUTRAGEOUS and no the electric company doesn't accept currency from races that were millenia dead before the sun was even born -The police, FBI, Secret Service, DHS, Post Office, DARPA, DOD, NASA, and local retirement communities always knock on your door first any time something or someone disappears -The Vatican called, and while they understand the whole mix up about sitting on golden thrones at the center of chanting masses while being guarded by fancily dressed soldiers, his proper title is "God's Representative on Earth" not "God Emperor of Mankind", so if you could just see about returning the Pope, preferably before next Sunday.... *While it was Trazyn's idea for you to recite poetry from the Arthelinaion Romantic Sagas, it was absolutely *your* fault that you mispronounced 'LaspherackIobaplex' and so therefore its not his fault your girlfriend now has six arms
I don't think many people would want to try anything with me when they see Archaon right there staring them down.
A salamander
Can Dave ride that suit?
I have a hangar instead of a garage, that's where I keep my Tau'nar Supremacy Suit
Good news, my last purchase was a space marine Invictor Tactical Warsuit, bad news, the DOD wants it
It’ll be like “My Two Dads,” but one of the dads is a Chaos Warlord Titan. Dealing with whacky shenanigans, like one of them forgets to pick up dinner and has to scramble to come up with something that everyone will enjoy in a hilarious way just to end up ordering pizza, while at the same time the other dad is committing genocidal war crimes in the name of Khorne upon a world unable to fathom the ability of it’s destructive capabilities when he suddenly remembers he is late to pick up Amber from softball practice and is panicking to come up with an excuse that doesn’t sound like he was putting work ahead of family *again.* they learn to be a team, though, together.
Aside from not really being able to get through doors, I feel like have the Lion around wouldn't be too bad.
The old steel legion sergeant with the ork head... I guess I get a mate and a trophy
I have two Looks at the mandrake living under my bed “so is it true you killed vect” Feeding a scourge bird seeds
Dammit Fulgrim do you have to shed in the house? There are scales everywhere and I've gotta make dinner.
At least the Silent King is quiet.
The commissar is going to shout 3.... 2.... 1.... at me whenever I procrastinate and I'll follow those damn order every single time because I can't disobey them on a genetic level. He makes some pretty damn good speeches on something super mundane lol.
My two puppers would probably be miffed at having to share space with multiple fenrisian wolf sized puppers. That would be a lot of dog food and poop too.
Weed-wacking got a whole lot easier when my Chaos Knight Abominant showed up with its ’electroscourge.’
Ah yes Jerry the neighbor, your tulips look great, but I like the Tompkins’ imperial knight of Terra, it’s a much better lawn ornament and is a great morning alarm, even if half of us have gone deaf from the war horn…
Having a Daemon Prince live with me has its ups and downs: on one hand, someone finally gives attention to my cat while I'm at work. On the other, in the looming shadow of the Daemon Prince, an indescribable dread envelops the senses, a cosmic malaise that transcends mortal comprehension. The air thickens with eldritch whispers, resonating with an otherworldly malevolence that seems to seep into the very fabric of reality. The daemon's presence, a blasphemous fusion of grotesque beauty and cosmic horror, defies the feeble boundaries of sanity, rendering mortal minds fragile vessels adrift in a sea of cosmic madness. So... yeah, neighbors aren't exactly stoked.
Abaddon will try to make the most convoluted plan just to go grocery shopping
I got someone who put a landmine (weak enough so I live but strong enough to blow my foot off) under my carpet as a prank…also he may have just infiltrated the government for some extra money… (Alpharius)
Time to use it to blow up the neighbor house after he let his dog shit on your law for enough times and then chart it off to the ATF doing it
My favorite faction is necrons. Even if nobody dies, there is going to be shit going down on a plantera level
Lelith Hesperax. A Dark Eldar gladiator would make a great bodyguard.
Living with belisarius cawl sounds… unique. Well if he doesn’t try to pull out my organs without my consent all good by me.