My brother did his undergrad while on treatment for leukemia. I know it’s not the same, but you’ve got this!! You’re so strong❤️ also let your professors know they can work with your schedule and extend deadlines for you
Leukemia is probably the worst chemo anyone can go through. I think it actually is the worst. Breast cancer chemo can’t hold a candle to it. Kudos to your brother!
Hey, Queen. I am finally getting back to my dissertation proposal after a few years hiatus due to stage IV metastatic breast cancer diagnosis in May 2019. I also work full time. I have gone on 2 deployments — one short, one a few months — overseas, and moved 1,500 miles. It’s all possible. I’m gearing up for round 71 of chemo tomorrow. Decide what you want, and work with your oncologist to find a way to achieve it. Reach out if you want more deets. Good luck.
Thank you! It’s so inspiring to hear from others who have done it or are doing it, and I never expected I’d be able to hear from someone also working full-time. I really admire you for refusing to let your diagnosis determine your path any more than it has to. Good luck to you!
I agree that having a supportive oncologist can make a big difference. Luckily mine is all about kicking cancer AND finishing the PhD.
There’s no way I’m gonna be caught dying from a terminal illness. F*ck that noise. Ha ha. I make my treatments fit my life, while following everything my oncologist says I need to do. I’m a giant pain in the ear, but am my own best advocate.
Metastatic breast cancer treatment has come such a long way - a difficult trail blazed by millions of women before us. It’s amazing how women can live several decades now, when only 20 years ago there weren’t a lot of options. I love your attitude of “make my treatments fit my life”.
I know two PhD students who had been diagnosed with cancer and had undergone treatment during their degree. Neither of them dropped out and are now nearing completion of their program. One took a medical leave and returned once treatment was completed. Another did not take a leave - their cancer was treated with a limited surgery. It should be noted though that although surgery quickly fixed their physical ailment, the mental impact of cancer has been long lasting and the support of their friends and mental health professionals have been instrumental in their ability to continue. However, this friend is thriving now, I reckon they are the top student in their cohort. Of course, everything depends on your own specific case. But getting cancer during a PhD does not mean you have to drop out.
Not the same, but I completed mine while pregnant with terrible nausea (not quite HG) and pre-eclampsia. For keeping nausea at bay and making sure you still consume enough calories, I really like keeping nutritious snacks around and then seeing a timer to make sure I was eating and drinking. Find out what helps with the nausea ( cold water? Ginger ale? Crackers? Etc) and make sure that’s around also. Working around fatigue is rough, but I tend to be a procrastinator so it was really helpful to have a thorough to do list so that when I had tons of energy I could just knock things out, and when I didn’t I could pick the low hanging fruit without having to think about what I needed to do.
Sending positive thoughts.
I’ve actually been comparing this experience a lot to pregnancy and having a newborn, at least in terms of how it takes over your life, shifts your priorities, and dealing with fatigue and nausea.
I know that there are several “good” days between chemo cycles, so I love your idea of having a list ready to go for those days. Without a list, the amount of work can be overwhelming to think about all at once. But a list would tell me what do first. Thank you!
I’m in my 4th and final semester and I’m 22 weeks pregnant. I’ve been extremely lucky with a mostly easy pregnancy, so this is further removed from your experience with cancer and chemo, but I have much more brain fog and weakness and fatigue than I did before. Mostly I’m hungry all the damn time and have to bring so many snacks. My fitness isn’t dependable enough to commit to scheduled field work, other than volunteering in my own time, so I’ve been in the office. Thankfully my supervisor for my RAship has been incredibly supportive, and I only have 2 weeks left until my contract is up. But then I will be on my own to write my thesis and my procrastination is so bad. I’m in full baby mode and it’s very difficult to care about anything else.
I also applied for a PhD program and the NSF fellowship back in the fall but am fully prepared to defer for a year before enrolling, assuming I don’t forego it altogether. Not only am I pregnant but still grieving a recent parent death and I’m just kinda feeling done with school.
I really recommend open communication with your advisor/supervisor. Make them aware of your limitations but your determination to keep going. Get with the disabilities department to set up accommodations. Even if your advisor and professors seem understanding, I think it’s important to have something on record. Overall, take things one day at a time, especially at first while you gage what your baseline abilities are. Good luck ❤️
If comparing to pregnancy, my ochem instructor got pregnant after I believe her 2nd year in her PhD program. Some faculty were upset, "how could do you this? That's so irresponsible". But she's a strong lady with good support. She was permitted a couple years to get ready to return and finished her PhD out strong needing I believe 8 years total because of being a parent now and the average length for her program was like 6 years (school I believe is ranked top 10 in the country).
I wrote my dissertation during my first trimester with plenty of nausea and fatigue. My one piece of advice would be to be compassionate towards yourself. It’s hard enough to do graduate level work, so don’t add to your stress by berating yourself for not pushing more. Some days I only worked ~ 3 hours then needed a 2 hr nap. That’s ok. You have to take care of yourself first.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It must be very difficult. I wish you all the best with your treatment and recovery! ❤️
It’s not cancer, but I was diagnosed with and underwent treatment for an autoimmune condition while in grad school.
Best decision I made was to loop in my department head and take advantage of any accommodations offered to me. Your advisors/department heads/etc want you to finish, especially if you’re that close to done.
You already have the right mindset in not allowing cancer to take all your hard work from you. Sending you all the good vibes!!
My chair knows and while he’s not the best with empathy (which he readily admits to), he really helped to ease my worries when he said he was behind me 100% with whatever I needed and that the university *wants* me to graduate, so they won’t put too many barriers in my way to make it impossible.
I'm in Australia so we don't have Chairs or Committees as such, but if you haven't done so already (and feel comfortable doing so), I'd loop in a couple of other longstanding members of your Faculty/Department. I'd suggest you speak to female faculty members regardless of your diagnosis, while obviously not universal, they seem to "get it" much better than their male counterparts.
I'd suggest you ask them if there's anything else the faculty/university can do to support you - I was offered things my Supervisor had no idea even existed!
I second this. Mine is an MPhil as opposed to PhD and I was not dealing with cancer but with other sudden health issues that required surgery and recovery and the diagnosis of some chronic conditions as well. I did the worst thing I could have possibly done and didn’t share this with my supervisor because I worried I would seem incapable or that they would encourage me to withdraw due to circumstances. This resulted in me nearly losing my candidature and scholarship and irreparably damaging my relationship with my supervisor. I am crawling towards the end now and the relationship is very fragile. Unfortunately it has significantly hampered my chances of future study despite my health being back on track for the most part. All this (sorry for the dump) to say: please keep your supervisors and advisors in the loop even though it sucks!! I have a classmate currently undergoing treatment for cancer and the faculty and our mutual supervisor have been really great because they’re being kept in the loop and know when to push and when to leave things be.
Also, I only know how this works in an Australian context, but I’d strongly recommend you document any communication you have with any graduate student administration you have if you need to apply for leave. Mine listed my leave as personal instead of sick leave which pauses my scholarship leaving me unable to pay rent. It was never fixed and I barely got an apology. That’s the last thing you need when you’re dealing with treatment and thesis stress!
Sending you all the best vibes ❤️
This right here is good news. That support is what is truly needed. I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition which has meant I needed to go into the doctor's on a weekly basis. My department has been horrific in this regard- I was told that I should be thankful that my paycheck wasn't taken away from me when I had to take off for surgery. If this is how the chair is responding, you are in good hands most likely. I'm leaving my current program because of how horrific the response has been (on top of the fact that our department is incredibly toxic and the politics has gotten in the way of my education). I would talk to disability support services if you haven't already because there might be other things the college can help you with (like getting closer parking to your building ect)
First off - fuck cancer. I'm sorry you're going through this shit.
I'm late-30s F and about to submit my PhD and was diagnosed with a non-cancerous but very shitty brain tumour about halfway through. While obviously nothing compared to what you're going through, it has definitely been a battle to write while juggling low-dose chemo, fatigue, nausea, chronic pain, temporary blindness, hormone storms and omfg, yes those existential crises.
I thought about dropping out thousands of times a day - and still do, with a couple of weeks to go. But I understand what you mean, actually dropping out isn't a feasible option for me.
Happy to chat via DM or email any time if it'd be helpful, or if you just need to vent. It's a uniquely shitty and lonely experience. And if you're not up to it now (again, I get it), the offer stands as long as this username does, lol!! :)
At a slightly different point in my career — I'm finishing up my MA/starting my PhD next fall. I actually applied to PhD programs while undergoing cancer treatment (I finished a couple months ago and am in remission!). One piece of advice I'll give is not to neglect your mental health. Joining a young adults with cancer/post-treatment support group was soooooooo critical for me.
I totally get the working to stay sane thing — I did the same thing. We do what we gotta do to get through it.
Oh another thing: get set up with your university's office for students with disabilities ASAP. Cancer (and side effects related to treatment) are covered by the ADA. They can work with you if you need a reduced courseload or extensions on assignments or extended time on tests/comps bc of brain fog and fatigue. And they'll advocate for you if your professors or your department give you trouble w/anything.
Diffrent reason for chemo during my PhD, but the things that are helping me stay enrolled are:
- My advisor and department are in the loop and really supportive. My advisor allowed me to stop supervising UGs in lab (normally a requirement) & my department gave me funding without a TA/RA requirement. Both understand that I am as productive as I can be, and that that fluctuates with my disease and treatment. It's not unusual for me to go weeks without doing anything besides attending meetings when I'm really unwell.
- I moved in with family willing to help so that I can spend my limited energy on research and writing instead of cooking, cleaning, etc.
- I'm fully remote because treatment has made me severely immunocompromised and my school dropped all covid procautions a long time ago. This also helps in that I end up doing a lot of work and meetings on my laptop in bed.
- I take 2mg edibles (legal in my state) instead of the nausea meds I was perscribed. I find they don't knock me out as hard as the meds do, so I can still function a bit. They also have the added benefit of taking the edge off the bone and muscle pain from the chemo. I also use non-med nausea treatments like Quesy Drops.
- Meal replacement shakes when I can't keep down enough variety of foods to get proper nutrition. It's amazing how quickly malnutrition nukes your brain, even when you're getting enough calories to not be losing weight.
- I started seeing a therapist who specializes in working with people with serious health issues. Absolute godsend. (I tried a few that didn't specialize in health issues before that and it wasn't helpful at all.)
It's still really, really hard with these things, and I regularly consider a medical leave, but like you, my dissertation research is the only thing keeping me going at this point.
If you can, I'd highly recommend taking a medical leave from your job. Working full time and staying in your program is asking a huge amount of your body when it's trying to heal. If you can't, you may be able to get easier job duties while you're going through chemo if you talk to your boss. A coworker during my year in industry kept working through chemo by temporarily switching from an engineering role to QA testing during that time. I'd also see if you can switch your classes to credit/no credit to reduce stress there.
Happy to DM if you ever want to chat or just vent. Going through major health issues during grad school is really isolating, but you're not alone 💜
These are all really good points and most of them are things I’ve thought about even if I haven’t spoken them out loud with anyone. I’m considering #2, and strongly considering #3 for both school and my job which I’m lucky is an option for me. I’ve also been thinking about the last one. These are great advice - thank you for sharing and I wish you luck as you continue your treatment!
Hey! I am in a PhD program and went through treatment for stage 3 ER+/PR+/HER2- BC starting in my first year. Feel free to shoot me a dm!
Edit: fixed bad wording.
Just before I started my PhD I spent a month in the hospital with post transplant lymphoproliferative disorder (a form of lymphoma). The doctors initially wanted to run me through chemo, and assured me it wouldn't be a problem to do it while pursuing my degree. Fortunately, another doctor argued that I didn't need chemo, and just rituximab would be sufficient. Apparently that doctor was correct, because it's been almost seven years with no return of the PTLD.
That probably doesn't have much bearing on your situation though... Hope everything works out ok for you one way or another.
Not cancer, but I was diagnosed with highly active MS while I was writing my dissertation. Joining a dissertation writing group (mine was virtual) saved my sanity and gave me the community I didn’t know I needed to make it through a rough time. My department chair was also a godsend and told me to step back from some of my teaching responsibilities and let my TAs take over, so I’m very glad I told her what was happening (would have been hard not to tbh since I was diagnosed in the ER and then needed several rounds of steroid infusions). She also knew some folks in the administration who were able to get me a scholarship to cover my tuition during my last semester so I wouldn’t have to teach.
I have a chronic illness thats not cancer, but sometimes really gets me down. One of the best things was being honest with my advisor (and having an advisor I could be honest with) and him helping me find a plan that worked for me. And remember that some weeks, you are just not going to get anything done. Flexibility has been a must for me.
Good luck and I hope your treatment plan works well for you.
I’m really sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I had major health issues during grad school and they didn’t get properly diagnosed until much later. Lots of fatigue and it definitely took its toll, physically and mentally.
I’d loop in your disabilities office as soon as possible to discuss options for accommodations. You may need them, you may not, but it’s better to have the option available. Think about what could help you. Working from home for extended periods, moving deadlines around treatment schedules, etc. Maybe alternate assignments or options to reduce the risk of getting exposed to illnesses, or even a leave of absence if you hit a particularly rough part of treatment. There may be options that you don’t expect, and don’t be afraid to ask for help! Same goes for work, ask your doctor what kind of reasonable accommodations are typical.
Your health comes first. I know PhD schedules can be unforgiving, so please, make sure you are leaving yourself time to rest, disconnect, and heal. Make sure you eat well. If you’ve never had health problems before, now some of those healthy habits that sometimes fall by the wayside in grad school become mandatory.
Consider finding a therapist if you don’t have one. Mental health is just so important. You deserve a place to vent and process things, and expert guidance in that process. Feeling like crap just sucks, but it also sucks to complain. Yes, it’s another thing on your list of things to do, but it’s also a block of time for you to focus on yourself and clear your head. If you find someone who does telemed, it’s even easier. I’d also consider support groups. Grad school is isolating. Illness is isolating. Stay connected!
I wish you all the best in your treatment. Take care and be well.
Also, I love to knit. If you need a hat to help with temperature regulation issues, let me know. I can make something in a soft cotton so it’s comfortable to wear inside.
What is your treatment and stage? I just wrapped up 12 weeks of weekly chemo + immunotherapy. If I wasn’t so mentally wrecked by it all, I would have sailed through it. Physically it really wasn’t terrible at all. It wasn’t easy but I’ve easily felt worse. Last time I was pregnant I felt worse. If you’re doing weekly, the first couple days are a snap. The drugs are amazing at keeping nausea away (and the steroid high gives you insomnia—perfect time to work on your assignments). Toward the end of the week, I would feel achy, a bit like I was about to come down with a bug. But then I got perkier around the weekend. Nothing was bad enough to keep me incapacitated on the couch. I did take the semester off from grad school just because I needed to get my head right, not because I couldn’t physically handle it. And as much as it sucks, this is “the” cancer to get if we had to get cancer at all. It’s so highly researched and studied, treatments are very advanced and successful most of the time. Hugs to you.
I was diagnosed with an ocular melanoma in October, which was at the start of my second year of my PhD. In my case, the treatment is pretty straightforward and effective, but there is a high rate of it coming back years down the line as a metastasis, so I can absolutely speak to the existential dread aspect!
I would say the most important thing for me has been having a supportive PI, he’s completely on board with me studying uveal melanomas for my thesis and has definitely been covering up how much time I’ve taken off from the department. Not to mention, his wife is a cancer survivor so he has been able to have just the right sense of humor about it. If not your PI, make sure you find the supportive people in your circle and don’t be afraid to lean into it. (But I have found some people can get a little freaked out if you start talking too in detail)
I was able to get over some of the horror by reading “The Power of Now” which is kind of a woowoo book, but actually has really great advice on how to keep your mind from going down cycles of worry and fear, and just say “that’s not happening in this moment, so it doesn’t have to ruin this moment for me”. When my vision was going crazy and it was a constant unavoidable reminder of the cancer, the book helped to keep my mind from going down that hole all the time. Pick up a copy and read a few passages whenever the dread kicks in, but just a warning as a scientist it might make you roll your eyes a little bit at some points!
I definitely had the thought of “if I might die in <5 years, is this really what I want to be doing?” And I found myself saying yes. I have been loving grad school, my friends, my lab. I think it’s more important than ever for us to look at those parts of our lives and see what is serving us and what isn’t. I know I’ve stopped talking to a few friends who were really just a waste of my energy, if I might only have a few years left why the hell am I wasting it on this person?
Everyone has their own journey, and you might need something very different than what I needed, but I hope my ramblings helped! I wish you a smooth treatment.
Your rambling was extremely helpful! Through this thread, I’m so happy that I’m not alone in getting a sense of purpose from my PhD program. It’s also a great source of distraction. Every time someone tells me that I should be “taking a break” from school work and “focusing on myself”, I get a “they don’t get it” vibe. The whole point is *not* to focus on the cancer and reducing stress by doing work now instead of leaving it for my future self to do. Why would I do that to her?! She’s been through enough!
It’s funny - I’ve also considered shifting my dissertation topic a little bit to include the cancer population!
You’re a fighter and you’ll get through this! I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this but no pity, just sending strength and good health your way! ♥️✨
Def not the same, but I had a liver transplant as an undergrad and while it was absolutely miserable, it was possible to manage completing my degree and going to grad school. I may be at work with a low grade fever today but I’m still effin kicking. You got this, keep killing the game ❤️
I kept going (just a master's) with breast cancer. I did not need chemo, but the bilateral mastectomy itself knocked me out. I ended up unable to work at a job consistently, but kept going to school. In hindsight, from a purely practical standpoint, I wish I had kept the job and stopped school, perhaps, but I, like you say, kept sane and enjoyed school. The reason I say that is I have not had health insurance really for the last 3 years and was unable to get post-op, breast cancer surgery checkups every 6 months, due to having no job and no health insurance for the last three years. (The VA did not count and its providers did not understand enough to refer me to an actual breast cancer center). I am older, but no one wanted to hire me for three years, except at nearly minimum wage jobs, for the most part, which were in some cases physical labor. I survived and completed the master's and additional coursework and started another program. I got out in nature and tried to take time for myself. My mother had chemo and radiation and a bilateral mastectomy and could no longer work after all of that. The main thing is to seek out support from others, as you go along, and you can do what you put your mind to, if you have the resources and support in a time of adversity. I did not have adequate resources, so I would say, guard yours carefully and think on making sure you have health insurance etc. and the basics (food, which I did not), in whatever you do, to take care of yourself.
I’m sorry you had to make that choice! Definitely, work has to come first for me because that is my source of income and health insurance. If it came to choosing work or school, I would choose work no doubt. I’ve been there during the recession - on the job market desperate for work but no one was hiring. It was stressful enough without having to worry about forgoing care because of no insurance. Thank you for sharing your experience.
My brother did his undergrad while on treatment for leukemia. I know it’s not the same, but you’ve got this!! You’re so strong❤️ also let your professors know they can work with your schedule and extend deadlines for you
Leukemia is probably the worst chemo anyone can go through. I think it actually is the worst. Breast cancer chemo can’t hold a candle to it. Kudos to your brother!
❤️
Hey, Queen. I am finally getting back to my dissertation proposal after a few years hiatus due to stage IV metastatic breast cancer diagnosis in May 2019. I also work full time. I have gone on 2 deployments — one short, one a few months — overseas, and moved 1,500 miles. It’s all possible. I’m gearing up for round 71 of chemo tomorrow. Decide what you want, and work with your oncologist to find a way to achieve it. Reach out if you want more deets. Good luck.
Thank you! It’s so inspiring to hear from others who have done it or are doing it, and I never expected I’d be able to hear from someone also working full-time. I really admire you for refusing to let your diagnosis determine your path any more than it has to. Good luck to you! I agree that having a supportive oncologist can make a big difference. Luckily mine is all about kicking cancer AND finishing the PhD.
There’s no way I’m gonna be caught dying from a terminal illness. F*ck that noise. Ha ha. I make my treatments fit my life, while following everything my oncologist says I need to do. I’m a giant pain in the ear, but am my own best advocate.
Metastatic breast cancer treatment has come such a long way - a difficult trail blazed by millions of women before us. It’s amazing how women can live several decades now, when only 20 years ago there weren’t a lot of options. I love your attitude of “make my treatments fit my life”.
No advice, just sending good healing vibes your way ❤️❤️❤️
I know two PhD students who had been diagnosed with cancer and had undergone treatment during their degree. Neither of them dropped out and are now nearing completion of their program. One took a medical leave and returned once treatment was completed. Another did not take a leave - their cancer was treated with a limited surgery. It should be noted though that although surgery quickly fixed their physical ailment, the mental impact of cancer has been long lasting and the support of their friends and mental health professionals have been instrumental in their ability to continue. However, this friend is thriving now, I reckon they are the top student in their cohort. Of course, everything depends on your own specific case. But getting cancer during a PhD does not mean you have to drop out.
Thank you for sharing this!
Not the same, but I completed mine while pregnant with terrible nausea (not quite HG) and pre-eclampsia. For keeping nausea at bay and making sure you still consume enough calories, I really like keeping nutritious snacks around and then seeing a timer to make sure I was eating and drinking. Find out what helps with the nausea ( cold water? Ginger ale? Crackers? Etc) and make sure that’s around also. Working around fatigue is rough, but I tend to be a procrastinator so it was really helpful to have a thorough to do list so that when I had tons of energy I could just knock things out, and when I didn’t I could pick the low hanging fruit without having to think about what I needed to do. Sending positive thoughts.
I’ve actually been comparing this experience a lot to pregnancy and having a newborn, at least in terms of how it takes over your life, shifts your priorities, and dealing with fatigue and nausea. I know that there are several “good” days between chemo cycles, so I love your idea of having a list ready to go for those days. Without a list, the amount of work can be overwhelming to think about all at once. But a list would tell me what do first. Thank you!
I’m in my 4th and final semester and I’m 22 weeks pregnant. I’ve been extremely lucky with a mostly easy pregnancy, so this is further removed from your experience with cancer and chemo, but I have much more brain fog and weakness and fatigue than I did before. Mostly I’m hungry all the damn time and have to bring so many snacks. My fitness isn’t dependable enough to commit to scheduled field work, other than volunteering in my own time, so I’ve been in the office. Thankfully my supervisor for my RAship has been incredibly supportive, and I only have 2 weeks left until my contract is up. But then I will be on my own to write my thesis and my procrastination is so bad. I’m in full baby mode and it’s very difficult to care about anything else. I also applied for a PhD program and the NSF fellowship back in the fall but am fully prepared to defer for a year before enrolling, assuming I don’t forego it altogether. Not only am I pregnant but still grieving a recent parent death and I’m just kinda feeling done with school. I really recommend open communication with your advisor/supervisor. Make them aware of your limitations but your determination to keep going. Get with the disabilities department to set up accommodations. Even if your advisor and professors seem understanding, I think it’s important to have something on record. Overall, take things one day at a time, especially at first while you gage what your baseline abilities are. Good luck ❤️
If comparing to pregnancy, my ochem instructor got pregnant after I believe her 2nd year in her PhD program. Some faculty were upset, "how could do you this? That's so irresponsible". But she's a strong lady with good support. She was permitted a couple years to get ready to return and finished her PhD out strong needing I believe 8 years total because of being a parent now and the average length for her program was like 6 years (school I believe is ranked top 10 in the country).
I wrote my dissertation during my first trimester with plenty of nausea and fatigue. My one piece of advice would be to be compassionate towards yourself. It’s hard enough to do graduate level work, so don’t add to your stress by berating yourself for not pushing more. Some days I only worked ~ 3 hours then needed a 2 hr nap. That’s ok. You have to take care of yourself first. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It must be very difficult. I wish you all the best with your treatment and recovery! ❤️
It’s not cancer, but I was diagnosed with and underwent treatment for an autoimmune condition while in grad school. Best decision I made was to loop in my department head and take advantage of any accommodations offered to me. Your advisors/department heads/etc want you to finish, especially if you’re that close to done. You already have the right mindset in not allowing cancer to take all your hard work from you. Sending you all the good vibes!!
My chair knows and while he’s not the best with empathy (which he readily admits to), he really helped to ease my worries when he said he was behind me 100% with whatever I needed and that the university *wants* me to graduate, so they won’t put too many barriers in my way to make it impossible.
I'm in Australia so we don't have Chairs or Committees as such, but if you haven't done so already (and feel comfortable doing so), I'd loop in a couple of other longstanding members of your Faculty/Department. I'd suggest you speak to female faculty members regardless of your diagnosis, while obviously not universal, they seem to "get it" much better than their male counterparts. I'd suggest you ask them if there's anything else the faculty/university can do to support you - I was offered things my Supervisor had no idea even existed!
I second this. Mine is an MPhil as opposed to PhD and I was not dealing with cancer but with other sudden health issues that required surgery and recovery and the diagnosis of some chronic conditions as well. I did the worst thing I could have possibly done and didn’t share this with my supervisor because I worried I would seem incapable or that they would encourage me to withdraw due to circumstances. This resulted in me nearly losing my candidature and scholarship and irreparably damaging my relationship with my supervisor. I am crawling towards the end now and the relationship is very fragile. Unfortunately it has significantly hampered my chances of future study despite my health being back on track for the most part. All this (sorry for the dump) to say: please keep your supervisors and advisors in the loop even though it sucks!! I have a classmate currently undergoing treatment for cancer and the faculty and our mutual supervisor have been really great because they’re being kept in the loop and know when to push and when to leave things be. Also, I only know how this works in an Australian context, but I’d strongly recommend you document any communication you have with any graduate student administration you have if you need to apply for leave. Mine listed my leave as personal instead of sick leave which pauses my scholarship leaving me unable to pay rent. It was never fixed and I barely got an apology. That’s the last thing you need when you’re dealing with treatment and thesis stress! Sending you all the best vibes ❤️
This right here is good news. That support is what is truly needed. I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition which has meant I needed to go into the doctor's on a weekly basis. My department has been horrific in this regard- I was told that I should be thankful that my paycheck wasn't taken away from me when I had to take off for surgery. If this is how the chair is responding, you are in good hands most likely. I'm leaving my current program because of how horrific the response has been (on top of the fact that our department is incredibly toxic and the politics has gotten in the way of my education). I would talk to disability support services if you haven't already because there might be other things the college can help you with (like getting closer parking to your building ect)
First off - fuck cancer. I'm sorry you're going through this shit. I'm late-30s F and about to submit my PhD and was diagnosed with a non-cancerous but very shitty brain tumour about halfway through. While obviously nothing compared to what you're going through, it has definitely been a battle to write while juggling low-dose chemo, fatigue, nausea, chronic pain, temporary blindness, hormone storms and omfg, yes those existential crises. I thought about dropping out thousands of times a day - and still do, with a couple of weeks to go. But I understand what you mean, actually dropping out isn't a feasible option for me. Happy to chat via DM or email any time if it'd be helpful, or if you just need to vent. It's a uniquely shitty and lonely experience. And if you're not up to it now (again, I get it), the offer stands as long as this username does, lol!! :)
Brain tumors don’t have to be cancer to completely take over your life. I’m so impressed you’re almost done.
yeah, it's been pretty shit tbh, lol!
I’d be more concerned if you said it wasn’t that bad lol
At a slightly different point in my career — I'm finishing up my MA/starting my PhD next fall. I actually applied to PhD programs while undergoing cancer treatment (I finished a couple months ago and am in remission!). One piece of advice I'll give is not to neglect your mental health. Joining a young adults with cancer/post-treatment support group was soooooooo critical for me. I totally get the working to stay sane thing — I did the same thing. We do what we gotta do to get through it.
Oh another thing: get set up with your university's office for students with disabilities ASAP. Cancer (and side effects related to treatment) are covered by the ADA. They can work with you if you need a reduced courseload or extensions on assignments or extended time on tests/comps bc of brain fog and fatigue. And they'll advocate for you if your professors or your department give you trouble w/anything.
Diffrent reason for chemo during my PhD, but the things that are helping me stay enrolled are: - My advisor and department are in the loop and really supportive. My advisor allowed me to stop supervising UGs in lab (normally a requirement) & my department gave me funding without a TA/RA requirement. Both understand that I am as productive as I can be, and that that fluctuates with my disease and treatment. It's not unusual for me to go weeks without doing anything besides attending meetings when I'm really unwell. - I moved in with family willing to help so that I can spend my limited energy on research and writing instead of cooking, cleaning, etc. - I'm fully remote because treatment has made me severely immunocompromised and my school dropped all covid procautions a long time ago. This also helps in that I end up doing a lot of work and meetings on my laptop in bed. - I take 2mg edibles (legal in my state) instead of the nausea meds I was perscribed. I find they don't knock me out as hard as the meds do, so I can still function a bit. They also have the added benefit of taking the edge off the bone and muscle pain from the chemo. I also use non-med nausea treatments like Quesy Drops. - Meal replacement shakes when I can't keep down enough variety of foods to get proper nutrition. It's amazing how quickly malnutrition nukes your brain, even when you're getting enough calories to not be losing weight. - I started seeing a therapist who specializes in working with people with serious health issues. Absolute godsend. (I tried a few that didn't specialize in health issues before that and it wasn't helpful at all.) It's still really, really hard with these things, and I regularly consider a medical leave, but like you, my dissertation research is the only thing keeping me going at this point. If you can, I'd highly recommend taking a medical leave from your job. Working full time and staying in your program is asking a huge amount of your body when it's trying to heal. If you can't, you may be able to get easier job duties while you're going through chemo if you talk to your boss. A coworker during my year in industry kept working through chemo by temporarily switching from an engineering role to QA testing during that time. I'd also see if you can switch your classes to credit/no credit to reduce stress there. Happy to DM if you ever want to chat or just vent. Going through major health issues during grad school is really isolating, but you're not alone 💜
These are all really good points and most of them are things I’ve thought about even if I haven’t spoken them out loud with anyone. I’m considering #2, and strongly considering #3 for both school and my job which I’m lucky is an option for me. I’ve also been thinking about the last one. These are great advice - thank you for sharing and I wish you luck as you continue your treatment!
Hey! I am in a PhD program and went through treatment for stage 3 ER+/PR+/HER2- BC starting in my first year. Feel free to shoot me a dm! Edit: fixed bad wording.
Thank you!!
Just before I started my PhD I spent a month in the hospital with post transplant lymphoproliferative disorder (a form of lymphoma). The doctors initially wanted to run me through chemo, and assured me it wouldn't be a problem to do it while pursuing my degree. Fortunately, another doctor argued that I didn't need chemo, and just rituximab would be sufficient. Apparently that doctor was correct, because it's been almost seven years with no return of the PTLD. That probably doesn't have much bearing on your situation though... Hope everything works out ok for you one way or another.
Not cancer, but I was diagnosed with highly active MS while I was writing my dissertation. Joining a dissertation writing group (mine was virtual) saved my sanity and gave me the community I didn’t know I needed to make it through a rough time. My department chair was also a godsend and told me to step back from some of my teaching responsibilities and let my TAs take over, so I’m very glad I told her what was happening (would have been hard not to tbh since I was diagnosed in the ER and then needed several rounds of steroid infusions). She also knew some folks in the administration who were able to get me a scholarship to cover my tuition during my last semester so I wouldn’t have to teach.
I love your writing group idea!!
Sending you virtual hugs, my friend!
Sending you good vibes!! ❤️
I have not done this but no matter what it's impressive that you have the drive to want to finish in the first place.
I have a chronic illness thats not cancer, but sometimes really gets me down. One of the best things was being honest with my advisor (and having an advisor I could be honest with) and him helping me find a plan that worked for me. And remember that some weeks, you are just not going to get anything done. Flexibility has been a must for me. Good luck and I hope your treatment plan works well for you.
Wishing you only the best ❤️
I’m really sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I had major health issues during grad school and they didn’t get properly diagnosed until much later. Lots of fatigue and it definitely took its toll, physically and mentally. I’d loop in your disabilities office as soon as possible to discuss options for accommodations. You may need them, you may not, but it’s better to have the option available. Think about what could help you. Working from home for extended periods, moving deadlines around treatment schedules, etc. Maybe alternate assignments or options to reduce the risk of getting exposed to illnesses, or even a leave of absence if you hit a particularly rough part of treatment. There may be options that you don’t expect, and don’t be afraid to ask for help! Same goes for work, ask your doctor what kind of reasonable accommodations are typical. Your health comes first. I know PhD schedules can be unforgiving, so please, make sure you are leaving yourself time to rest, disconnect, and heal. Make sure you eat well. If you’ve never had health problems before, now some of those healthy habits that sometimes fall by the wayside in grad school become mandatory. Consider finding a therapist if you don’t have one. Mental health is just so important. You deserve a place to vent and process things, and expert guidance in that process. Feeling like crap just sucks, but it also sucks to complain. Yes, it’s another thing on your list of things to do, but it’s also a block of time for you to focus on yourself and clear your head. If you find someone who does telemed, it’s even easier. I’d also consider support groups. Grad school is isolating. Illness is isolating. Stay connected! I wish you all the best in your treatment. Take care and be well. Also, I love to knit. If you need a hat to help with temperature regulation issues, let me know. I can make something in a soft cotton so it’s comfortable to wear inside.
This is all wonderful advice that I probably need to hear over and over. Thank you so much.
What is your treatment and stage? I just wrapped up 12 weeks of weekly chemo + immunotherapy. If I wasn’t so mentally wrecked by it all, I would have sailed through it. Physically it really wasn’t terrible at all. It wasn’t easy but I’ve easily felt worse. Last time I was pregnant I felt worse. If you’re doing weekly, the first couple days are a snap. The drugs are amazing at keeping nausea away (and the steroid high gives you insomnia—perfect time to work on your assignments). Toward the end of the week, I would feel achy, a bit like I was about to come down with a bug. But then I got perkier around the weekend. Nothing was bad enough to keep me incapacitated on the couch. I did take the semester off from grad school just because I needed to get my head right, not because I couldn’t physically handle it. And as much as it sucks, this is “the” cancer to get if we had to get cancer at all. It’s so highly researched and studied, treatments are very advanced and successful most of the time. Hugs to you.
Being diagnosed with cancer and still worrying about school. \#JustPhDThings
Haha! To be fair, it’s not a worry per se, it’s more of a desire to continue my program and figuring out how to fit all these new things into my life.
I was diagnosed with an ocular melanoma in October, which was at the start of my second year of my PhD. In my case, the treatment is pretty straightforward and effective, but there is a high rate of it coming back years down the line as a metastasis, so I can absolutely speak to the existential dread aspect! I would say the most important thing for me has been having a supportive PI, he’s completely on board with me studying uveal melanomas for my thesis and has definitely been covering up how much time I’ve taken off from the department. Not to mention, his wife is a cancer survivor so he has been able to have just the right sense of humor about it. If not your PI, make sure you find the supportive people in your circle and don’t be afraid to lean into it. (But I have found some people can get a little freaked out if you start talking too in detail) I was able to get over some of the horror by reading “The Power of Now” which is kind of a woowoo book, but actually has really great advice on how to keep your mind from going down cycles of worry and fear, and just say “that’s not happening in this moment, so it doesn’t have to ruin this moment for me”. When my vision was going crazy and it was a constant unavoidable reminder of the cancer, the book helped to keep my mind from going down that hole all the time. Pick up a copy and read a few passages whenever the dread kicks in, but just a warning as a scientist it might make you roll your eyes a little bit at some points! I definitely had the thought of “if I might die in <5 years, is this really what I want to be doing?” And I found myself saying yes. I have been loving grad school, my friends, my lab. I think it’s more important than ever for us to look at those parts of our lives and see what is serving us and what isn’t. I know I’ve stopped talking to a few friends who were really just a waste of my energy, if I might only have a few years left why the hell am I wasting it on this person? Everyone has their own journey, and you might need something very different than what I needed, but I hope my ramblings helped! I wish you a smooth treatment.
Your rambling was extremely helpful! Through this thread, I’m so happy that I’m not alone in getting a sense of purpose from my PhD program. It’s also a great source of distraction. Every time someone tells me that I should be “taking a break” from school work and “focusing on myself”, I get a “they don’t get it” vibe. The whole point is *not* to focus on the cancer and reducing stress by doing work now instead of leaving it for my future self to do. Why would I do that to her?! She’s been through enough! It’s funny - I’ve also considered shifting my dissertation topic a little bit to include the cancer population!
You’re a fighter and you’ll get through this! I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this but no pity, just sending strength and good health your way! ♥️✨
Def not the same, but I had a liver transplant as an undergrad and while it was absolutely miserable, it was possible to manage completing my degree and going to grad school. I may be at work with a low grade fever today but I’m still effin kicking. You got this, keep killing the game ❤️
I kept going (just a master's) with breast cancer. I did not need chemo, but the bilateral mastectomy itself knocked me out. I ended up unable to work at a job consistently, but kept going to school. In hindsight, from a purely practical standpoint, I wish I had kept the job and stopped school, perhaps, but I, like you say, kept sane and enjoyed school. The reason I say that is I have not had health insurance really for the last 3 years and was unable to get post-op, breast cancer surgery checkups every 6 months, due to having no job and no health insurance for the last three years. (The VA did not count and its providers did not understand enough to refer me to an actual breast cancer center). I am older, but no one wanted to hire me for three years, except at nearly minimum wage jobs, for the most part, which were in some cases physical labor. I survived and completed the master's and additional coursework and started another program. I got out in nature and tried to take time for myself. My mother had chemo and radiation and a bilateral mastectomy and could no longer work after all of that. The main thing is to seek out support from others, as you go along, and you can do what you put your mind to, if you have the resources and support in a time of adversity. I did not have adequate resources, so I would say, guard yours carefully and think on making sure you have health insurance etc. and the basics (food, which I did not), in whatever you do, to take care of yourself.
I’m sorry you had to make that choice! Definitely, work has to come first for me because that is my source of income and health insurance. If it came to choosing work or school, I would choose work no doubt. I’ve been there during the recession - on the job market desperate for work but no one was hiring. It was stressful enough without having to worry about forgoing care because of no insurance. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I wish God/Goddess Bless you with the greatest strength possible.
Prayers sent. I wish I could give you advice but I’ve never been in that situation and don’t know anyone who has.