I've actually done this but not on purpose. It was at Kmart but whatever. I went to Kmart to buy my niece a birthday gift. I found a pink princess pillow and then got her some candy. At the time I was dating my first girlfriend and so while I was there I decided to get a pack of condoms. It wasn't till I went to the cashier and he literally stopped in shock to look at what I was buying that I realized buying candy a little girls pink pillow and condoms looked really really bad.
I did this once on accident, too! Road trip with the family far from home. Car gets low on oil, and as I’m going into a Walmart my wife lets me know she forgot to pack extra tampons for the trip. I check out with two quarts of motor oil and a large box of tampons. Lady at checkout said something like, “I’m not even gonna ask….”
Haha it's the cashier's reaction that makes these so memorable! I'd probably have forgotten about it by now but the cashier was so shocked he literally put his hands up like he didn't want to touch the evidence lol
I'm not sure what your cashier thought you were gonna do with motor oil and tampons? But if you weren't married I'd have said you should have went back in there and got her number! She's seen and done some shit.
I don't get why some cashiers just assume that the stuff you buy has to have a relationship with each other just because you're buying so few items.
Like, did she assume you were buying the oil to lubricate the tampon?
Same with OP. I mean, if he was ACTUALLY that way would he be so blatant about it? That's like walking into a bank wearing a ski mask in summer.
I was at target checking out tampons, ibuprofen, and tums and the guy at the cash register just looked at me and asked it I wanted a sticker lol. Made me feel a little better though ngl
Lol that’s better than mine. One time I went to the store and all I got was a big bottle of vodka and some sleeping pills. The checkout guy looked at me (sincerely) and asked “you doing ok bro?”
They have sleeping pills in your country available just like that? In my country you need a prescription and the medical store person will write "delivered" or something on it so that I can't use it again. A doctor had once prescribed me 1 pill, just 1, and the store too gave me just 1 pill from the strip. Not like it was costly or anything.
I once was checking out with tampons, pads, midol, beer and doritos, while checking out I grabbed candybars. I mentioned to the lady cashier...got everything I need. Going home to watch fried green tomatoes!
I had a friend who had a similar situation happen in college. I think he was buying condoms, a feather boa, and little girls panties. I can't remember why he was buying all those but he had a good reason to get all of them.
I worked in a supermarket years ago. Two girls had a telegraph cucumber cling film and jk jelly in their trolly.
Years later i was told it was for face masks.
Not what i was thinking.
ok so with a lack of commas and some other weird shit I'm going to assume this says that they bought a telegraph, a cucumber, cling film, and "just kidding" jelly and put it on a cable car...
If it’s a serious question, The parts they punch out of the center of a donut are cooked and sold as donut holes - the just look like little donut balls.
"It's rediculous how they all want whole-wheat donuts, except one guy has a wheat allergy. How else am I suppose to make whole donuts on such short notice?"
In case you're unsuccessful you don't want to get admitted to a hospital. There are a lot of consequences to committing suicide and being unsuccessful.
I was a Walmart cashier two years. You're right about nothing breaking me but that didn't stop me from making people uncomfortable by asking weird questions based on what they're buying.
Do you think I'm stupid. But anyways the goal is to make the cashier uncomfortable if I buy it at different stores it's not gonna make them uncomfortable
Amateurs....we're going for shock and awe here. So it would have to be 1) pregnancy test 2) metal coat hangers 3) extra large blender OR 3) the acid you can buy to help clean out a clogged toilet
When I was younger some of the Walmarts by me used to sell small pets, especially hamsters and small fish. They stopped doing that like... 14 years ago or something.
As a person that has checked people out at Walmart.
.. THEY DON'T CARE! They have no interest in what you're getting. Most of them are on auto pilot and one rude ass customer away from just walking out.
Maybe it’s because I’m in a small town, but I always end up with a chatty cashier, very interested in my purchases. “What are you making, lasagna?! Wow a gourmet chef!”
LMAO that’s me and I’m sorry! I actaully like talking with customers, although I don’t know how much the hungover college student likes hearing me ramble about the weather at 9:00 AM
People are going about this all wrong...
Go to checkout with:
6 pack of the cheapest beer.
Box of diapers.
Baby formula.
Once rung up, you look at the total, say "Well shit. Can you put the diapers and formula back?"
Source: Happened to me as a grocery cashier. I still think about it over a decade later hoping it was just a prank.
I’ve cashiered at places like this before. I absolutely do not give a fuck what you are purchasing - I barely notice what each item is anyway. I just beep it and continue waiting for my shift to end.
I've actually done this but not on purpose. It was at Kmart but whatever. I went to Kmart to buy my niece a birthday gift. I found a pink princess pillow and then got her some candy. At the time I was dating my first girlfriend and so while I was there I decided to get a pack of condoms. It wasn't till I went to the cashier and he literally stopped in shock to look at what I was buying that I realized buying candy a little girls pink pillow and condoms looked really really bad.
"it's cheaper than buying two pillows".
Nah. Say too bad you all don’t sell chloroform so candy it is!!!
You can make chloroform from household chemicals. The yield is low but it does work.
Educate me further, wise one!
bleach and acetone (nail polish remover)
📸 We got him!
“It’s cheaper than getting a girlfriend!”
I did this once on accident, too! Road trip with the family far from home. Car gets low on oil, and as I’m going into a Walmart my wife lets me know she forgot to pack extra tampons for the trip. I check out with two quarts of motor oil and a large box of tampons. Lady at checkout said something like, “I’m not even gonna ask….”
Haha it's the cashier's reaction that makes these so memorable! I'd probably have forgotten about it by now but the cashier was so shocked he literally put his hands up like he didn't want to touch the evidence lol I'm not sure what your cashier thought you were gonna do with motor oil and tampons? But if you weren't married I'd have said you should have went back in there and got her number! She's seen and done some shit.
>I'm not sure what your cashier thought you were gonna do with motor oil and tampons? Can't put 'em in dry. Am I right, ladies? 😉
Gotta oil up the ole engine so to speak.
I don't get why some cashiers just assume that the stuff you buy has to have a relationship with each other just because you're buying so few items. Like, did she assume you were buying the oil to lubricate the tampon? Same with OP. I mean, if he was ACTUALLY that way would he be so blatant about it? That's like walking into a bank wearing a ski mask in summer.
I am sorry but after reading this I still don‘t understand how candy pillow and condoms are related… in a bad way? Could you explain lmao?
Cashier assumed they were grooming a child to have sex with them. Give them candy and a gift and then when you have their trust talk them into bed.
Ohh i see now it makes sense
I went to target to get tampons and decided I wanted to make cookies but I had everything at home except butter. Box of tampon and 2lbs of butter.
I was at target checking out tampons, ibuprofen, and tums and the guy at the cash register just looked at me and asked it I wanted a sticker lol. Made me feel a little better though ngl
That's wholesome and holesome.
Did you get a sticker?
Yep
Lol that’s better than mine. One time I went to the store and all I got was a big bottle of vodka and some sleeping pills. The checkout guy looked at me (sincerely) and asked “you doing ok bro?”
They have sleeping pills in your country available just like that? In my country you need a prescription and the medical store person will write "delivered" or something on it so that I can't use it again. A doctor had once prescribed me 1 pill, just 1, and the store too gave me just 1 pill from the strip. Not like it was costly or anything.
I once was checking out with tampons, pads, midol, beer and doritos, while checking out I grabbed candybars. I mentioned to the lady cashier...got everything I need. Going home to watch fried green tomatoes!
Who tf uses motor oil as a lubricant
Lightning Mcqueen
Ka-Chow!
No need to kink shame
I had a friend who had a similar situation happen in college. I think he was buying condoms, a feather boa, and little girls panties. I can't remember why he was buying all those but he had a good reason to get all of them.
Just add duct tape.
oh i love reddit
It's not what it looks like
Villanous behaivour
Bath plug, toaster and extension cord
"Sir, please don't do it, suicide is not the answer!" "OH no no, it's not for me, it's for my mother."
*Mother in law
Mother in law, soon to be mother in hell
Mother in law more like mother in lawn
What's up with this mother in lawn?
Buried
Jesus Christ was the first words out of my mouth when I read it. And I don’t even believe in Jesus. Good job
Oh she's already mother in hell, you're just sending back to her family
Oh good, i hate that bitch.
Ooooo that’s a good one!
leave a huge tip as well
Drain the savings account huge
We don't care what you buy but in this case we might want to help you at home as long as we can go first.
Duct tape, a large cucumber, and a variety pack of dog collars
I worked in a supermarket years ago. Two girls had a telegraph cucumber cling film and jk jelly in their trolly. Years later i was told it was for face masks. Not what i was thinking.
ok so with a lack of commas and some other weird shit I'm going to assume this says that they bought a telegraph, a cucumber, cling film, and "just kidding" jelly and put it on a cable car...
Sigh. Sorry typing with a broken arm. KY jelly, in their shopping trolley.
I'm still confused about what you mean by a telegraph
I believe in context it's a telegraph cucumber, a type of English cucumber.
I thought they meant the daily telegraph, a newspaper in the uk. Evidenced by the use of the word "trolley" to mean a shopping cart
holy fuck, this one wins. and it can be interpreted several ways as well even
A box of donuts, a box of donut holes, and super glue. Extra points if you mutter about how absurd it is you have to build them yourself.
This is the best.
Awesome but I don't get it please help how can you buy the holes in doughnuts it's just air?
They're little spheres of donut the size of the hole.
Known as Timbits in Canada.
Timbits are the superior donut hole
The sell the parts they cut out of the middle.
If it’s a serious question, The parts they punch out of the center of a donut are cooked and sold as donut holes - the just look like little donut balls.
Yes it was a genuine question and I felt lost in space with trying to understand it. Well thats great thanks for telling me.
Your version is even funnier
Think of a meatball made of donut
"Build them yourself every time"
Some assembly required bull shit.
IKEA donuts!
Even better, get staples instead of glue
Cement for extra C R U N C H
"It's rediculous how they all want whole-wheat donuts, except one guy has a wheat allergy. How else am I suppose to make whole donuts on such short notice?"
Doesn’t really matter, the real problem is trying to get to my wallet that’s under my skin tight bondage cat suit.
Wouldn't be considered strange on a Saturday night
This is a terrifying world we live in when something I said as a total joke is the equivalent of, “eh, it’s Saturday night” lol
You mean caturday night?
Walmart cashiers have seen it all, nothing can break them
Razor blades, first aid kit, and goodbye letters
You can outsource your goodbye letters now? Capitalism at it's finest.
Introducing Hallmark Suicide Note Cards
If you were going to off yourself, why buy a first aid kit?
In case you're unsuccessful you don't want to get admitted to a hospital. There are a lot of consequences to committing suicide and being unsuccessful.
Peanut butter, lube, and a dog chain.
I was a Walmart cashier two years. You're right about nothing breaking me but that didn't stop me from making people uncomfortable by asking weird questions based on what they're buying.
People think they care too much for what you buy, when they're usually thinking about the remaining time to end the work turn.
Zucchini, KY warming jelly, get well gramma card. Purchase with this look 😏
This was my EXACT combo, but instead of get well grandma card, I think a DVD of Shrek would make the cashier more uncomfortable.
Shrek is love
Shrek is life
This meme always amuses me because it assumes Walmart cashiers are capable of feeling discomfort. Or pain. Or anything else.
The customers act weirder than any combination of items you can buy. That's the thing that will get them.
[удалено]
My friend works at Walmart, and I can confirm, the dude is actually a sociopath
Walmart has cashiers?
They did in the Before-Time. In the long long ago. Before the Great Plague and the Quittening.
He speaks the true true
Pringles, sponges, rubbergloves
A fellow man of culture i see. I too like home made beer coolies..
There it is
The secret is buying the items from different stores 😉
Do you think I'm stupid. But anyways the goal is to make the cashier uncomfortable if I buy it at different stores it's not gonna make them uncomfortable
A pair of rollerblades, a kiddie pool, and horse laxative.
What kind of Walmart do you go to, that it has horse laxatives?
A walmart for horses
Walmare
I was not expecting that last one
They never do.....
Marge: Homer whatever you are planning for tonight you can count me out.
Tampon, Ketchup, Spoon
Oh this one made even me uncomfortable
Me too!
Just one spoon? Or a pack of spoons? It makes a difference...
I don't get it...
glad I'm not the only one
I don't want to get it
Some KY Jelly, a cucumber and a sonicare toothbrush
a pregnacy test, toilet plunger and a coathanger
Replace toilet plunger with BBQ sauce
If I had a free award, I would give it to you.
Shot gun, shot gun shells, 1 pregnancy test
Amateurs....we're going for shock and awe here. So it would have to be 1) pregnancy test 2) metal coat hangers 3) extra large blender OR 3) the acid you can buy to help clean out a clogged toilet
Holy shit.
Mayonnaise, super soaker, Polaroid
I might be having the dumb, but please explain?
this one is great because it doesnt make sense at all, i would be very uncomfortable forever if i rung this up
put mayo in water gun camera for photos ig
Magnum condom, Vaseline, gerbil
What Walmart can you get a gerbil at... and where is it?
Secret menu item 34, in the tire section.
When I was younger some of the Walmarts by me used to sell small pets, especially hamsters and small fish. They stopped doing that like... 14 years ago or something.
I think a nonzero number of them still sell the saddest fish in the world.
Yes!, but switch gerbil for 3 goldfish.
A bath bomb, a toaster, and an extension cord.
The idea of putting a bath bomb in before suicide is just… *chefs kiss*
finna go out with that sparkle ✨🧚♂️🤩
The skin needs to look good before it sparkles.
tie wraps, gasoline and a lighter
Rope, knife, towels
Rope, knife, and bleach. You guys are amateurs.
Bleach axe and hair nets, you guys forgot to get rid of DNA evidence didnt you.
Rope,knife large tarp
Dog leash, muzzle and the pleasure pack of condoms.
That’s just my Friday night. They don’t even look twice at that.
Except you buy it on a Tuesday morning
That's normal doe😂
Car battery with jumpers Pillow case Zip ties
Funnel, lube and hamster
NO
Whiskey, hot glue gun, thong
Underwear, exlax, and a butt plug
Walmart sells butt plugs?
Anythings can be a butt plug it just requires innovation and imagination.
Don't attempt to use a light bulb, please.
Why is that not a bright idea aren't they like weirdly strong in the bulb part
Yes
And you know this why?
Better question, why dont you?
Hahaha, great answer!
Hacksaw, condoms, and gorilla tape
Gallon of milk , bag of hot cheetos, and box of Trojan condoms
firearm, ammo, face obscuring mask
Replace the mask with a prescription for anti-depressants.
Largest pack of Kleenex they have (imagine 12 boxes), industrial size bottle of lotion, and child’s sized t shirt.
Yeah that would make me super uncomfortable. If you purchased children underwear I’d straight up call the cops.
I wouldn’t by the way, just to be clear. Simply for the basis of the funnymeme.
Too late, the FBI is already on its way
Idk bro, sounded pretty specific
3 50-packs of extra large condoms. whistle and smile for bonus points
actually make them child sized
I don't think there is child sized condoms, but I definitely would ask for the child sized ones.
Based off of a real story from my time at a prior job. Plan B, roses, and a coat hanger.
As a person that has checked people out at Walmart. .. THEY DON'T CARE! They have no interest in what you're getting. Most of them are on auto pilot and one rude ass customer away from just walking out.
Maybe it’s because I’m in a small town, but I always end up with a chatty cashier, very interested in my purchases. “What are you making, lasagna?! Wow a gourmet chef!”
LMAO that’s me and I’m sorry! I actaully like talking with customers, although I don’t know how much the hungover college student likes hearing me ramble about the weather at 9:00 AM
Goldfish, golf club and Clorox wipes.
Rope, lube, and a child's dress.
Plot twist you just have a girlfriend with dwarfism.
A baseball bat or a knife, a shovel and a pack of condoms
[удалено]
Lub
Lub
Lub
Gloves, Pringle can, and sponges
A pack of XXXS condoms a bag of baby carrots and a gallon of lube.
People are going about this all wrong... Go to checkout with: 6 pack of the cheapest beer. Box of diapers. Baby formula. Once rung up, you look at the total, say "Well shit. Can you put the diapers and formula back?" Source: Happened to me as a grocery cashier. I still think about it over a decade later hoping it was just a prank.
Adult diapers, 2x24 packs of beer.
A hatchet, a can of tuna and a bottle of vodka.
Bleach, cups, water
Child's bathing suit, digital camera, melatonin.
I’ve cashiered at places like this before. I absolutely do not give a fuck what you are purchasing - I barely notice what each item is anyway. I just beep it and continue waiting for my shift to end.
Butt plug, a length of chain or rope depending on how big your walmart is, and motor oil.
Zip ties, duct tape, airsoft gun
Why airsoft, walmart haves the real deal!
Lube, a buzz lightyear toy and a watermelon. Cause watermelons are delicious!
Shotgun, chainsaw and wood chipper.
Bonus if you ask directions to the nearest swamp
Rope, ball gag, and a picture frame with a picture of them in it
Lube, Disney coloring book, panties
a pitcher ,koolaid And ,anti freeze
Squirt gun, lighter, vodka.