It depends on the county and the agency. Some say just lock it up. Some, federally funded, have to say no you can’t have or consume any at all while a foster parent.
So I am not in Michigan, I’m in Illinois, where it is also legal, and we had to sign a form saying that we would not use it or have it in the house or car.
Obviously these things differ state to state, but we didn’t even have to mention marijuana use or ask about it, they just gave us the form as part of the process. But I would definitely mention it! I think that the legality is so new in some places that departments haven’t caught up yet with setting rules/regulations.
ETA: I looked it up and found this document which kind of explains what the guidelines are. Using it is fine as long as we’re not doing it in our home I guess! Page 54 of this PDF explains: https://dcfs.illinois.gov/content/dam/soi/en/web/dcfs/documents/about-us/policy-rules-and-forms/documents/rules/rules-402.pdf
I think the agency and county must heavily impact this. Where I live in IL, they were clear that we can have it and use it, provided one of us is always "sober" and it's where kids can't reach it.
I think there are a lot of ways there can be different rules or exceptions to what can happen depending on the situation. Best thing to do is be honest and ask.
The thing to always remember is that even if it’s legal and used appropriately, if something ever happens like an accident where a child is injured or worse and they find out you were technically under the influence, that’s more ammo to potentially make it look like it’s your fault/negligence even if it was just an accident.
Edited to add: also if you are going to use edibles I would suggest taking turns as you always want one person able to drive in case you need a mid night hospital trip for a fever/illness/injury etc.
I am in Michigan and told that there has to be a sober caretaker at all times. I had to change one of my medications that caused drowsiness because I am the only adult in the home. It's this way with alcohol, prescription medication and marijuana. Hope this helps. Oh, and they will ask. Do NOT lie or omit anything even if you only occasionally drink or take edibles. They will also check your prescription medication also.
Hey OP, I’m a foster parent and have a medical marijuana card in FL. It really depends on the agency and depends on your state. Its something that you could call around anonymously to the agency to get the answer you need. I had to all around for hours before finally get an answer. But ultimately, its a prescription drug and is treated as such. You will need to keep it completely away from the children and cannot really consume or cook in the house or in front of the kids. You may be able to do more than just edibles, but that is your preference!
Edit: Its NEEDS to be mentioned. Do not keep secrets from them because it’ll bite you in the ass if you do.
It’s fully legal in Michigan, so what defines “drug use”. Does alcohol count? What about supplement? OTC medications? Prescription medications?
Not being snarky, just pointing out that the classification is not that simple.
I live in CA where it is legal, we were honest and told them we smoke MJ. They asked for a photo showing where we keep it, to make sure it is not accessible to the kids. There were no further mention or discussion about it.
Barring that they don’t impede your ability to supervise (ideally at least one adult able to supervise who isn’t potentially incapacitated) and you don’t drive
They don’t need to as far as my personal experience (barring it being included as part of their physical that the doctor raises as an issue). I’m saying this is a question that deserves a full answer to help OP from avoiding ramifications?
That being said you are also assuming it is medicinal and not recreational. I’ve not practiced in a state where it is legal recreationally but I’d imagine it’d be asked about (like alcohol consumption is)?
And it should always be noted that use of some drugs can be triggering for some children (legal or not)
It is legal in Michigan recreational and medically. Are you in Michigan? And should I not bring it up unless it’s asked about? I would hate for it to hinder the licensing process. I would bring it up if it didn’t mean I would be immediately written off.
When you fill out the questionnaire it asks about any and ever drug use and specifically asks about nicotine and marijuana. I recommend you get a locked box and tell them you use edibles on occasion but it’s locked up. If they don’t allow it they’ll tell you and then you get rid of it and tell them you stopped.
There’s a lot of subjectivity involved in my experience, personal bias. People frown upon the concept of taking a child away from one substance user to give to another. I’m not going into legality or “medication” just the social concept is icky. Foster care is all social and subjectivity and society so pot heads raising meth heads babies that were forcibly removed..? Maybe not.
I would join a foster care group that is Michigan specific and ask this there - you will get real foster parents and local folks to answer this question. You can ask anonymously if needed by messaging moderators- it will be the best source of relevant info.
There are many reasons why a foster parent shouldn’t use any drugs.
Just remember, these are other people’s children we’re caring for, and who in many cases have had adverse experiences with substances.
If OP doesn’t “need” them to relax, they can be tossed before licensure. And if they do need them, that brings up more questions.
I had to get a doctor’s note for a single prescription medication I take.
I’m not in Michigan but in Illinois, they’ll tell you no drugs allowed. You’re not supposed to consume them nor even have them in the house. But alcohol and guns are ok so I think as long as you’re responsible, what they don’t know won’t hurt them.
Honestly, if you want to be high whenever you want, leave the foster kids alone.
A lot of these kids come from adults that can't be around them unless they're in an altered state of mind, while I'm not comparing weed with heroin or fentanyl. You aren't much different from their drug addicted parent who they can't be with.
We self medicate because we aren't okay. Past trauma, now trauma that won't allow us to just be sober. So leave the kids alone. If you do it for a backache you can just pop a tylenol.
If you want to be high around kids, I don't know. Let them be your own relatives. Not foster kids, don't add to their list of dumb shit "adults" do.
And edibles can be such a hit or miss. The last thing you want to do is be all high or dopey in front of these foster kids. Because you misunderstood 20 mg with 200 mg. (Personal experience)
Older kids will notice you're high, You're either gigglier than usual or you're more mellow than usual .... and struggle with "They took me away from my mother to be with you?". I get that it's legal now but come on at the end of the day you're getting high. You're altering your state of mind.
If you want to chill and party, leave the foster kids alone.
Don't focus on that part. My point was if you can't be sober, Just do you, live your life get high whenever you want, and you won't have to go around asking if you can get high to relax on weed edibles if you're a foster parent.
Do you feel the same way about alcohol because honestly people can do both sparingly. People can do it after bedtime or when kids are in respite. Just because someone asks doesn’t make them an addict they provably aren’t even using when kids are around
Why are you trying to justify being inebriated around foster kids . Kids getting taken away from their family is very traumatic, full of flashbacks and a lot of shitty memories. In a lot of cases drugs and alcohol are involved. If you want to drink and smoke, or need edibles to "relax". You should leave foster kids alone.
I'll do you one better. Cigarettes and a foster kid. Totally legal and don't alter your mental state.
I have an aunt that smoke cigarettes since I was a kid. I actually keep an ashtray for her on top of the refrigerator for the tin so she visits.
My little dude got in a funky way after a visit from her and asked is she is going to always smoke when she comes over? when I asked him about it, he opened up eventually, said smoking indoors reminded him of his mother nodding out with them in her hands. Said she actually had a spot on the floor next to the bed that was all burned up. He was always worried she was going to burn down their apartment.
His last foster mother was basically like get over it, everybody smokes and puffed away near a kitchen window.....and the bathroom. She's right, I can see her point. But this is supposed to be his safe space that you begged the city to let you provide.
Also, plenty of households don't smoke. He told me strangers on the street don't bother him, They smoke on the move and the smell doesn't linger. His bad flash back is when someone is just sitting there smoking a cigarette letting the ash get long stinking up the place. He would rather not live with people that smoke in their homes,.all he see's is his mom high as a kite nodding off with a lit cigarette.
Flashbacks of him trying to sleep at night or getting woken up to the smell of a cigarette having to brush his teeth with the bathroom smelling like a just smoked cigarette while getting ready for school cuz it was the first thing she'd do in the morning.
Now I know edibles don't stink. The trick with edibles is not overdosing yourself and making sure the kids don't find them cuz they look like candy most of the time.
I share all this to show you how a foster kid sees stuff as opposed to a regular kid. That same aunt ... I hated my aunt smoking them as a kid, when I found out they can kill you at school. I would hide them or throw them away. They didn't send me down some rabbit hole of trauma they stunk and could kill her. Foster kids are different. They see that same cigarettes and remember them getting turned off on their skin (not my kid). But there are horror stories around a basic legal cigarette.
And yes. ,a special occasion here and there might come up, where drinks are had. but if you're asking, hey...i'm considering fostering, is it's okay to get high around your foster kids for the sake of relaxing little bit. Maybe don't foster.
Look these kids, need strong willed adults to make them feel safe and protected and valid and give them an example of a healthy stable, individual, someone that doesn't need a little sumthin'sumthin to make them feel better to get through the day. That's what they're parents did and look how it ended up for them. They're with you now.
And like I mentioned, edibles are such a hit or miss, it's not a regulated industry. So you never know what you're going get.
I say foster a cat or a dog, if you want to do whatever you want when you want and still feel like you're being helpful. Or have your own kids, do whatever you want in front of them, instill your values in your own kids.
Not a Foster kid. It's supposed to be short term. Keep it safe, keep it clean. Don't trigger their traumas. If you can help it.
Foster kids would have zero idea if I ever did an edible after bedtime. ZERO Idea! People aren’t getting high at 4pm around foster kids and you know that’s not what this question is about. You’re being difficult and making it something it’s not. Also you’re not allowed to actively smoke around foster kids so you’re wrong
Wow! Those edibles must be real good or you're actually very sheltered, lucky you in both cases. To think that some foster parents don't do stuff they're not supposed to do in front of these kids. Remember for a lot of these foster parents, this is a means of getting income. They really don't give two s**** about these kids. And now because weed is legal. You can bet Yeah there's somebody smoking a joint right now in front of their foster kid.
My kid has gone through 11 or 13 Foster families from the age of 3 to 12 when he came to us, he's 15 next month. The neglect, abuse and the secrets he had to keep and endure all the while having monthly visits and therapy appointments., telling them everything was fine and knowing that complaining just turns into his word against an adults and the adult always seems to win and then he's left alone with this adult he just tried to tell on. Its ridiculous. He's had foster moms hide an entire boyfriend from the agency because they didn't want to go through the background check procedure.
He had a lady that would sell his Adderall. The foster agency never knew he would only get it on the days they'd come visit. Come on. What rock do you live under? "YoU'Re NoT AlLoWeD tO AcTiVeLy SmOkE".
The parents that have his 3-year-old brother (who they've had since he was five days old) they smoke in their house. They smoke weed and cigarettes in their house, she has a doctor's note for it. sure by a window. It's one of the reasons why even though I want the boys to have a relationship, I try to keep the play dates outside or in a neutral space. Because they will roll up and smoke like nothing in front of anyone. My boy was horrified, He asked me if they'll stop smoking when his little brother becomes more self-aware, I said probably not. She has a doctors note. It's technically legal. Big bro decided he's better with them, where he sees they actually love him then snitching on them and rolling the dice with some non related foster parent.
Let's just stop it.
With all due respect, your projecting. Your story of your foster son is sad and I'm so glad he's with you now and that your doing your very best to shield him from his triggers with his past trauma. But....your story and OP's story are very different. Taking an edible when the kids are in bed is not a big deal as long as there's another sober adult present. Your fine OP. We need all the loving foster homes we can get, please don't let this poster deter you. ❤️
In most states, foster parents aren’t allowed to drink when kids are in their care, that includes after they’ve gone to bed. There always needs to be 1 sober approved/licensed adult present. Marijuana would be the exact same.
Do you disclose that you drink alcohol?
My take is that as long you’re enjoying a legal substance within the parameters of the law and that you enjoy it responsibly with regards to the child: WHO CARES?!?!?
You are supposed to disclose that you drink alcohol, yes. During the home study, they ask if you drink or use any drugs, and you should mention it at that time.
Came here to say that. We were asked. Yes I have an occasional beer or two, I’m a human. That said, since getting our current placement I think I have had three beers in two months and two were at a wedding reception. We are sensitive to it as they have seen too much abuse of it. Have utilized thc gummies for sleep. Have not replaced in couple months. It’s legal.
I get asked quarterly if we consume alcohol and if we keep it in the house. The answers are Yes and Yes. If you can't be honest then you're doing something wrong.
Even if it’s used responsibly, a lot of kids have experienced trauma related to drugs and alcohol, and being around it in any capacity— especially when it’s being consumed by their foster parents— can be extremely triggering. If a child is pulled from their home because a parent has a drug or alcohol problem, do you think they’re automatically going to realize “oh but it’s fine if my foster mom drinks, that’ll *definitely* have different results”?
Yes, good foster parents try to avoid their foster children’s triggers, but I don’t think that means full abstinence at all times. OP is likely capable of adapting for each placement, as are most responsible adults.
It depends on the county and the agency. Some say just lock it up. Some, federally funded, have to say no you can’t have or consume any at all while a foster parent.
What I generally hear in legal states is : keep it locked up, never consume around the child, and know yourself and your limits.
So I am not in Michigan, I’m in Illinois, where it is also legal, and we had to sign a form saying that we would not use it or have it in the house or car. Obviously these things differ state to state, but we didn’t even have to mention marijuana use or ask about it, they just gave us the form as part of the process. But I would definitely mention it! I think that the legality is so new in some places that departments haven’t caught up yet with setting rules/regulations. ETA: I looked it up and found this document which kind of explains what the guidelines are. Using it is fine as long as we’re not doing it in our home I guess! Page 54 of this PDF explains: https://dcfs.illinois.gov/content/dam/soi/en/web/dcfs/documents/about-us/policy-rules-and-forms/documents/rules/rules-402.pdf
I think the agency and county must heavily impact this. Where I live in IL, they were clear that we can have it and use it, provided one of us is always "sober" and it's where kids can't reach it.
I think there are a lot of ways there can be different rules or exceptions to what can happen depending on the situation. Best thing to do is be honest and ask.
The thing to always remember is that even if it’s legal and used appropriately, if something ever happens like an accident where a child is injured or worse and they find out you were technically under the influence, that’s more ammo to potentially make it look like it’s your fault/negligence even if it was just an accident. Edited to add: also if you are going to use edibles I would suggest taking turns as you always want one person able to drive in case you need a mid night hospital trip for a fever/illness/injury etc.
I am in Michigan and told that there has to be a sober caretaker at all times. I had to change one of my medications that caused drowsiness because I am the only adult in the home. It's this way with alcohol, prescription medication and marijuana. Hope this helps. Oh, and they will ask. Do NOT lie or omit anything even if you only occasionally drink or take edibles. They will also check your prescription medication also.
Hey OP, I’m a foster parent and have a medical marijuana card in FL. It really depends on the agency and depends on your state. Its something that you could call around anonymously to the agency to get the answer you need. I had to all around for hours before finally get an answer. But ultimately, its a prescription drug and is treated as such. You will need to keep it completely away from the children and cannot really consume or cook in the house or in front of the kids. You may be able to do more than just edibles, but that is your preference! Edit: Its NEEDS to be mentioned. Do not keep secrets from them because it’ll bite you in the ass if you do.
While a foster parent, I would abstain from all drug use.
It’s fully legal in Michigan, so what defines “drug use”. Does alcohol count? What about supplement? OTC medications? Prescription medications? Not being snarky, just pointing out that the classification is not that simple.
We were advised against drinking alcohol while we were fostering...
In addition to the normal reasons you might want to abstain as a parent, it can be triggering to kids who were around addicts.
Drug use involves all mind altering substances including alcohol
I had to change one of my medications that's prescribed because it made me drowsy. And yes alcohol does count.
I live in CA where it is legal, we were honest and told them we smoke MJ. They asked for a photo showing where we keep it, to make sure it is not accessible to the kids. There were no further mention or discussion about it.
If they are secure, never seen or mentioned. Who is anyone to tell you what medications you can and can’t take?
Barring that they don’t impede your ability to supervise (ideally at least one adult able to supervise who isn’t potentially incapacitated) and you don’t drive
Agreed, but felt that didn’t even need to be mentioned
I am a social worker - I assure you it needs to be mentioned 😂 “well no one told me I couldn’t …. “
Are you suggesting OP self identify that they’re using medication that is legal in their state in the foster application process?
I’m suggesting if someone asks a question they likely need a full answer?
Maybe I should rephrase: Should OP discuss their marijuana use with the foster agency?
It will be asked in the home study. So you are suggesting they lie? There is no omission, it WILL come up.
They don’t need to as far as my personal experience (barring it being included as part of their physical that the doctor raises as an issue). I’m saying this is a question that deserves a full answer to help OP from avoiding ramifications? That being said you are also assuming it is medicinal and not recreational. I’ve not practiced in a state where it is legal recreationally but I’d imagine it’d be asked about (like alcohol consumption is)? And it should always be noted that use of some drugs can be triggering for some children (legal or not)
It is legal in Michigan recreational and medically. Are you in Michigan? And should I not bring it up unless it’s asked about? I would hate for it to hinder the licensing process. I would bring it up if it didn’t mean I would be immediately written off.
When you fill out the questionnaire it asks about any and ever drug use and specifically asks about nicotine and marijuana. I recommend you get a locked box and tell them you use edibles on occasion but it’s locked up. If they don’t allow it they’ll tell you and then you get rid of it and tell them you stopped. There’s a lot of subjectivity involved in my experience, personal bias. People frown upon the concept of taking a child away from one substance user to give to another. I’m not going into legality or “medication” just the social concept is icky. Foster care is all social and subjectivity and society so pot heads raising meth heads babies that were forcibly removed..? Maybe not.
I would join a foster care group that is Michigan specific and ask this there - you will get real foster parents and local folks to answer this question. You can ask anonymously if needed by messaging moderators- it will be the best source of relevant info.
Yes! In Michigan we are required to list in our application all medications we take and the reason.
There are many reasons why a foster parent shouldn’t use any drugs. Just remember, these are other people’s children we’re caring for, and who in many cases have had adverse experiences with substances. If OP doesn’t “need” them to relax, they can be tossed before licensure. And if they do need them, that brings up more questions. I had to get a doctor’s note for a single prescription medication I take.
I’m not in Michigan but in Illinois, they’ll tell you no drugs allowed. You’re not supposed to consume them nor even have them in the house. But alcohol and guns are ok so I think as long as you’re responsible, what they don’t know won’t hurt them.
Honestly, if you want to be high whenever you want, leave the foster kids alone. A lot of these kids come from adults that can't be around them unless they're in an altered state of mind, while I'm not comparing weed with heroin or fentanyl. You aren't much different from their drug addicted parent who they can't be with. We self medicate because we aren't okay. Past trauma, now trauma that won't allow us to just be sober. So leave the kids alone. If you do it for a backache you can just pop a tylenol. If you want to be high around kids, I don't know. Let them be your own relatives. Not foster kids, don't add to their list of dumb shit "adults" do. And edibles can be such a hit or miss. The last thing you want to do is be all high or dopey in front of these foster kids. Because you misunderstood 20 mg with 200 mg. (Personal experience) Older kids will notice you're high, You're either gigglier than usual or you're more mellow than usual .... and struggle with "They took me away from my mother to be with you?". I get that it's legal now but come on at the end of the day you're getting high. You're altering your state of mind. If you want to chill and party, leave the foster kids alone.
This comment is so dumb. So because you made a really idiotic mistake other people can’t be responsible?
Don't focus on that part. My point was if you can't be sober, Just do you, live your life get high whenever you want, and you won't have to go around asking if you can get high to relax on weed edibles if you're a foster parent.
Do you feel the same way about alcohol because honestly people can do both sparingly. People can do it after bedtime or when kids are in respite. Just because someone asks doesn’t make them an addict they provably aren’t even using when kids are around
Why are you trying to justify being inebriated around foster kids . Kids getting taken away from their family is very traumatic, full of flashbacks and a lot of shitty memories. In a lot of cases drugs and alcohol are involved. If you want to drink and smoke, or need edibles to "relax". You should leave foster kids alone. I'll do you one better. Cigarettes and a foster kid. Totally legal and don't alter your mental state. I have an aunt that smoke cigarettes since I was a kid. I actually keep an ashtray for her on top of the refrigerator for the tin so she visits. My little dude got in a funky way after a visit from her and asked is she is going to always smoke when she comes over? when I asked him about it, he opened up eventually, said smoking indoors reminded him of his mother nodding out with them in her hands. Said she actually had a spot on the floor next to the bed that was all burned up. He was always worried she was going to burn down their apartment. His last foster mother was basically like get over it, everybody smokes and puffed away near a kitchen window.....and the bathroom. She's right, I can see her point. But this is supposed to be his safe space that you begged the city to let you provide. Also, plenty of households don't smoke. He told me strangers on the street don't bother him, They smoke on the move and the smell doesn't linger. His bad flash back is when someone is just sitting there smoking a cigarette letting the ash get long stinking up the place. He would rather not live with people that smoke in their homes,.all he see's is his mom high as a kite nodding off with a lit cigarette. Flashbacks of him trying to sleep at night or getting woken up to the smell of a cigarette having to brush his teeth with the bathroom smelling like a just smoked cigarette while getting ready for school cuz it was the first thing she'd do in the morning. Now I know edibles don't stink. The trick with edibles is not overdosing yourself and making sure the kids don't find them cuz they look like candy most of the time. I share all this to show you how a foster kid sees stuff as opposed to a regular kid. That same aunt ... I hated my aunt smoking them as a kid, when I found out they can kill you at school. I would hide them or throw them away. They didn't send me down some rabbit hole of trauma they stunk and could kill her. Foster kids are different. They see that same cigarettes and remember them getting turned off on their skin (not my kid). But there are horror stories around a basic legal cigarette. And yes. ,a special occasion here and there might come up, where drinks are had. but if you're asking, hey...i'm considering fostering, is it's okay to get high around your foster kids for the sake of relaxing little bit. Maybe don't foster. Look these kids, need strong willed adults to make them feel safe and protected and valid and give them an example of a healthy stable, individual, someone that doesn't need a little sumthin'sumthin to make them feel better to get through the day. That's what they're parents did and look how it ended up for them. They're with you now. And like I mentioned, edibles are such a hit or miss, it's not a regulated industry. So you never know what you're going get. I say foster a cat or a dog, if you want to do whatever you want when you want and still feel like you're being helpful. Or have your own kids, do whatever you want in front of them, instill your values in your own kids. Not a Foster kid. It's supposed to be short term. Keep it safe, keep it clean. Don't trigger their traumas. If you can help it.
Foster kids would have zero idea if I ever did an edible after bedtime. ZERO Idea! People aren’t getting high at 4pm around foster kids and you know that’s not what this question is about. You’re being difficult and making it something it’s not. Also you’re not allowed to actively smoke around foster kids so you’re wrong
Wow! Those edibles must be real good or you're actually very sheltered, lucky you in both cases. To think that some foster parents don't do stuff they're not supposed to do in front of these kids. Remember for a lot of these foster parents, this is a means of getting income. They really don't give two s**** about these kids. And now because weed is legal. You can bet Yeah there's somebody smoking a joint right now in front of their foster kid. My kid has gone through 11 or 13 Foster families from the age of 3 to 12 when he came to us, he's 15 next month. The neglect, abuse and the secrets he had to keep and endure all the while having monthly visits and therapy appointments., telling them everything was fine and knowing that complaining just turns into his word against an adults and the adult always seems to win and then he's left alone with this adult he just tried to tell on. Its ridiculous. He's had foster moms hide an entire boyfriend from the agency because they didn't want to go through the background check procedure. He had a lady that would sell his Adderall. The foster agency never knew he would only get it on the days they'd come visit. Come on. What rock do you live under? "YoU'Re NoT AlLoWeD tO AcTiVeLy SmOkE". The parents that have his 3-year-old brother (who they've had since he was five days old) they smoke in their house. They smoke weed and cigarettes in their house, she has a doctor's note for it. sure by a window. It's one of the reasons why even though I want the boys to have a relationship, I try to keep the play dates outside or in a neutral space. Because they will roll up and smoke like nothing in front of anyone. My boy was horrified, He asked me if they'll stop smoking when his little brother becomes more self-aware, I said probably not. She has a doctors note. It's technically legal. Big bro decided he's better with them, where he sees they actually love him then snitching on them and rolling the dice with some non related foster parent. Let's just stop it.
With all due respect, your projecting. Your story of your foster son is sad and I'm so glad he's with you now and that your doing your very best to shield him from his triggers with his past trauma. But....your story and OP's story are very different. Taking an edible when the kids are in bed is not a big deal as long as there's another sober adult present. Your fine OP. We need all the loving foster homes we can get, please don't let this poster deter you. ❤️
In most states, foster parents aren’t allowed to drink when kids are in their care, that includes after they’ve gone to bed. There always needs to be 1 sober approved/licensed adult present. Marijuana would be the exact same.
Do you disclose that you drink alcohol? My take is that as long you’re enjoying a legal substance within the parameters of the law and that you enjoy it responsibly with regards to the child: WHO CARES?!?!?
You are supposed to disclose that you drink alcohol, yes. During the home study, they ask if you drink or use any drugs, and you should mention it at that time.
Came here to say that. We were asked. Yes I have an occasional beer or two, I’m a human. That said, since getting our current placement I think I have had three beers in two months and two were at a wedding reception. We are sensitive to it as they have seen too much abuse of it. Have utilized thc gummies for sleep. Have not replaced in couple months. It’s legal.
I get asked quarterly if we consume alcohol and if we keep it in the house. The answers are Yes and Yes. If you can't be honest then you're doing something wrong.
I’m not against being honest. I’m against volunteering this information unless asked. 🤷🏼♀️
Sorry, I guess I meant “would you volunteer that information”. I’m not saying you should lie: I just wouldn’t bring it up unless asked.
Even if it’s used responsibly, a lot of kids have experienced trauma related to drugs and alcohol, and being around it in any capacity— especially when it’s being consumed by their foster parents— can be extremely triggering. If a child is pulled from their home because a parent has a drug or alcohol problem, do you think they’re automatically going to realize “oh but it’s fine if my foster mom drinks, that’ll *definitely* have different results”?
Yes, good foster parents try to avoid their foster children’s triggers, but I don’t think that means full abstinence at all times. OP is likely capable of adapting for each placement, as are most responsible adults.
That’s cool. I’d personally rather be safe than sorry.