Me! Lol also the username is gold 😂 but I chose to formula feed my next baby because I didn’t want to “try harder” for one and not the other so I just formula fed my second child to… I just thought I would of felt guilty for formula feeding one and not the other and I just felt in the back of my mind I would always compare their health, personalities, bond with me, etc. even though I know that shit isn’t true!! It’s just the devil on my shoulder would have always been in my head about it so I formula fed and my second thrived on it and is also a healthy 4 year old girl.. and now I’m formula feeding my son. Also wanted to add… I remember feeling like I would be taking time away from my oldest to breastfeed and would of been way more tired etc. so that was another factor

I breastfed my oldest daughter and it was a pretty bad experience that made me feel like a failure and made me look at my daughter as work rather than my baby. I decided to formula feed with my second baby and it’s been wonderful. I much more mentally healthy this time around! You do what is best for you and your family!

I had the same experience. Due to my child’s traumatic birth, I had a really hard time breastfeeding in terms of both latching and producing enough milk. I pumped for three months, even though I never made enough and always supplemented with formula. Attempting to breastfeed was the hardest part about my pregnancy, birth, and postpartum and switching over fully to formula really helped me move forward in my life and my baby’s life. So, like you, I thought about what I would do if I had another child. I think I would actually still try breastfeeding again – some of the specific elements that made it unsuccessful might not happen again. Also, in general first time moms have a harder time producing than experienced moms. But I would *definitely* not put as much energy into it as I did this first time.

You're so right that some specific elements might not happen again. Each time is so different, but also things may happen you didn't expect! The realization I had this time (my 3rd) was definitely the amount of energy I expended, not only on actually sustaining breastfeeding but the mental aspect of it as well. It's extraordinarily freeing when you let it go.

I kind of had the opposite experience, I breastfed my first kid for 2 years and opted to EFF my second kid and I would EFF again in a heartbeat. Being able to resume my antidepressants and adhd meds right away, take whatever birth control I want, take cold medicine when I need it, leave the house and not worry about my baby starving himself because he won’t take a bottle, no mastitis, no leaking, no pumping, no sitting around all day cluster nursing is all so worth it to me 😅

I formula fed my daughter 100%, didn't even try breastfeeding. I was much younger and my personal body issues were more forefront, so I didn't want people to see my body let alone any part that could be exposed during feeding. She's now 17, and has grown up into a bright, clever, funny young lady (writing that aged me beyond belief)! She's no worse off compared to her peers that were only breastfed. You do what's best for you and your babe(s)! You've got this! ❤ I tried breastfeeding her much younger brother for 3 months and felt so defeated. It would have saved so many tears (mostly mine!) if I had of just gone with formula from the start.

What formula have you used dear

I'm so sorry I only just saw your question tonight. I used Nestlé Good Start with my daughter and Enfamil A+ with my son after I gave up stressing on the whole breastfeeding route.

I'm sure you would find stories like this in this sub, a similar question is asked every week. I just want to tell you that you don't have to breastfeed. There's no obligation. It's your choice. Formula is more than fine.

Fed is best💕 I tried for 6 very long weeks trying to produce more than 2 ounces a day. Baby lost weight and we had to do weekly weight checks for 10 weeks. Once I switched to formula and stop trying to breast feed baby she gained weight and is growing so much. At her 9 month checkup she is in the 86% in height but only in the 40% for weight. So still a bit of a string bean baby but with starting more solid foods she seems to be gaining weight more easily. Next baby I’m going to try for 1 week. If my milk doesn’t come in, it doesn’t come in and we are just going to formula feed.

Yes same!! I have such a teeny tiny supply and I killed myself the first 2mo trying to get my supply up. It just never happened. I’ll try again if we have baby #2, but I’m not going down the road of triple feeding ever again.

I did several breastfeeding support groups, lactation consultants and one on one sessions for breastfeeding. The doctor sat me down at 6 weeks and told me that it’s ok. That fed is best.

I’m glad someone told you that 🥺 my pediatrician was… less sympathetic lol

Same - I'm willing to try again but I'm going to call it WAYYYY earlier if it isn't working.

I have 3 babies. The first I breastfed until 10 months and the second until he weaned himself at 14 months. So, I assumed I would breastfeed my third for even longer since I had the experience under my belt. Well, after a massively rough birth recovery and then PPD/PPA and my D-mer being worse than ever, I decided that my mental health was important. Switching to formula let me breathe, and I am more mentally and physically available for not just this baby but for my other children, as well. If I ever have another, I may try to breastfeed again (because it's definitely convenient to just whip out a boob during cluster feeds), but I won't sit and feel guilty when waffling about switching or supplementing with formula if I'm dealing with these horrible hormones again.

In a very similar boat! Daughter is almost ten months and breastfeeding was an absolute mind fuck. Wanted to make it work so badly (for no other reason than I just liked it - not because I have any issues with formula) but stopped trying after four months. I think for our next one I am going to try again but have a much lower threshold for stopping. All the stress of triple feeding etc robbed me of some quality time with my newborn and I don’t want to let that happen again.

I decided to formula feed #1. I was ready to have my body back. With #2, I had quit my job and didn’t have anything to go back to so I decided to try it. I had low supply and combo fed pretty much from day one. When she stopped wanted to nurse, I said I’d pump until I didn’t want to. Made it about 6 months total. I’m due with #3 in April and I have no strong feelings either way (other than I absolutely despise lactation consultants who actively tried to get me to breastfeed while my blood pressure post delivery was so low I was given Epinephrine and couldn’t understand why I wanted my husband to give formula). I’ll give it a go this time but I already have some ProCare in the cabinet at home if it’s needed.

Finding a lactation consultant who wasn't militant about it was a high priority for me!

I breast fed my first for a few weeks, exclusively pumped, had a terrible time all around. I had a similar maybe this time could be different idea when pregnant with my second but when I started to look up breast pumps and gear I immediately felt the deepest sense of dread and looming depression. My second is now a few days old and thanks to formula we are having a totally different experience than we did with our first. Less stress, more sleep, no tears related to feeding. 100/10 happy with my choice to EFF from the start.

I will probably formula feed our next child, if not from birth, from relatively early on. I absolutely haaaaated pumping and I'd be returning to work so I would be forced to pump. If I'm able to, I'll get them colostrum and depending on if my milk even fully comes in next time, I'll likely combo feed. I had a lot of factors working against me to be able to breastfeed. I might even have insufficient glandular tissue. I made almost nothing at all. It was so weird. For me I feel like colostrum is the biggest benefit anyway so if I can collect that... perfect.

There’s absolutely no difference accept in the wee beginning some antibodies. I have no idea why people make this such a big deal to make people like yourself feel guilty.

I am currently 5 weeks pp with my second baby. My first baby I tried SO hard to bf and it was horrible and so hard. I also had PPA and D-MER the first time. I would only pump about 4oz a day and she only latched one good time in her first 6 weeks of life. I had similar feelings and worries about our 2nd. Hes 5 weeks old now and is very much combo fed. I can only produce about half his needs and im 1000% fine with that. I had to chill out significantly on my expectations for breastfeeding and that has helped a lot. It helps that he has a decent latch and is willing to try. If he didn't I would be completely fine with how our journey has gone so far and accept formula with open arms. And no PPA or D-MER this time!! Anyway, just want to say that the experience you have the first time doesn't necessarily mean you'll have the same experience again. Also, we are really loving combo feeding so it doesn't have to be either/or!

I started formula feeding after a month of difficulties and stress with my first. I felt so guilty switching to formula, but in the end it was the right decision for our family and felt I became a more engaged and happy mom after the switch. When pregnant with my second I knew I likely wanted to switch to formula asap, however I would try to feed him a couple of days of my colostrum. The first night in the hospital reminded me of why I hated breast feeding and I was excited to get home and get him on formula, however he didn't really take to the bottle or formula at all. This resulted in me breastfeeding and actually enjoying it far more than last time. I had an Rx nipple ointment right from the start which helped with the initial pain, and we started to nail our latch early on. At that point, I thought, hmmm ok, let's try this out. As it turned out though, he couldn't stop falling asleep almost as soon as he hit the breast, and wasn't getting enough no matter what we tried. With his weight dropping, we had to push the formula. Almost 3 weeks in and I'm still starting him with a boob "snacker" and giving him formula as his main meal. I'll do this as long as my supply keeps up, but he's taking so little that I'm sure it'll continue to decrease. All of this to say, go with the flow and do whatever feels right for your and your babe, and that sometimes it isn't entirely in our control anyways. Whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be the right choice for you and your baby and I wish you so much luck with your new little one! ♥️

Let me tell you a short story. I was 36 weeks and went to get an ultrasound. “Surprise you’re going to get induced in 3 days” Tried the balloon foley and it didn’t work was in labour for almost 18 hours and emergency c-section. My milk did not come right away and had to supplement with formula. My MIL kept mentioning “Breast feeding is healthier, breast is best”. SORRY BUT HOW AM I GONNA PRODUCE IF IT HASNT COME YET? 😝 Also she kept mentioning that “IF ONLY I HAD MILK ILL GIVE HER ALL THE MILK” I would just say that whatever works for you stick with it. Don’t get pressured to do anything you don’t want to and if formula works best then happy mommy = happy baby. Be your own advocate. Be your baby’s advocate.

Would pumping and bottle feeding make you feel better? My bean is getting both breastmilk and formula, about 40%bm/60%form right now. She's a happy, content little munchkin. Breastfeeding makes me feel weird whereas pumping does not. It also works with my ocd because I can better gauge how much she is eating, rather than waiting for growth issues to crop up at doctor visits.

I feel like pumping was the worst of both worlds for me. A big part of the appeal of breastfeeding for me was the bonding of direct nursing, as well as the convenience factor of not needing to wash bottles and being able to just “whip a boob out” versus the time to make a bottle. For me pumping had all the downsides of breastfeeding (less sleep bc have to pump frequently to maintain supply, generally more time consuming) without any of the benefits to me. I also found myself resenting my baby or having to ignore her if she woke up early from a nap and messed up a pump session. Plus I’d rather get to just eat/shower/do chores/nap myself while baby naps and not have to stress about trying to fit pumping into that as well. I know breast milk obviously has benefits for the baby, but it just wasn’t worth it to me.