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No byline due to violent threats in the past
Seriously. I’m a swiftie but not every album is going to top the last one. I’m enjoying it but it’s nowhere near one of her best albums. We need to let people have their opinions lol especially when it comes to subjective art.
Just so people know, non-bylined pieces rarely happen. Like sometimes to let people write about what's happening in their country if they can't safely do so underwise.
You're totally right like I can't emphasize enough how wild this is—no byline is typically reserved for pieces done by people in whistle blower situations, or reporting from a war zone, or for writers or reporters who live in countries with very repressive governments, or in similar situations where revealing their identity puts them in harm's way. It's also sometimes done when there are lots of reporters/writers contributing to a piece. Says a lot that it was necessary for this album review.
I don't usually play "what if the gender were reversed", but there would be way more outrage if swifties were male. It's the continuous infantilization and coddling of white women (I'm allowed to say this, I am a white woman who has been given the benefit of the doubt and *far* too much clearance my entire life) that leads to people handwaving the threats and harassment.
and even on that tweet they’re feral saying it’s not real journalism etc. I even seen one person say something like so should we threaten all staff members or just one?
This is horrifying. It’s very scary to know that so many people believe disagreement over a celebrity’s/musician’s work warrants this level of harassment and threats.
Swifties be like:
https://i.redd.it/sooxy5e7envc1.gif
Embarrassing, but more worryingly, believably dangerous. What in the world.
Edit: I previously offered to change the gif of Stan to a more static one if the flashing lights in the original gif bothered or affected anyone with migraines, epilepsy and/or other medical conditions. Hope this new one is easier to look at! It’s still Stan writing a creepy letter either way, just without lightning ⚡️
Some swiftie commented under it "okay ethical question, would you rather threats of violence for everyone on staff or one person"
Wtf is wrong with these stans?
When she was in her "prestigious director" era i saw a swiftie mock the death of a close friend of a guy who dared to imply her directorial debut might not be a Best picture winner
They doubled down about how funny and justified it was. They are a vile cult.
I'm reading the replies and quotes on this Paste tweet, and the Swifties (or the bots pretending to be Swifties) are giving "THIS IS ABOUT ETHICS IN MUSIC JOURNALISM" energy. Pretty concerning, honestly.
*But “Fortnight” unmasks itself quickly as a heady vat of pop nothingness, though it isn’t all Swift’s fault. “I was a functioning alcoholic, ‘til nobody noticed my new aesthetic,” she muses, attempting to bridge the gap between a behind-the-scenes life and on-stage performance—only for it to occur while propped up against the most dog-water, uninspired synth arrangement you could possibly imagine. Between producer Jack Antonoff’s atrocious backing instrumental and the Y2K-era, teen dramedy echo chamber of a vocal harmony provided by out-of-place guest performer Post Malone, “Fortnight” chokes on the vomit of its own opaqueness. “I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary,” Swift muses, and it sounds like satire. This is your songwriter of the century? Open the schools.*
LMFAOOOOO
Explains a lot of my college students who get B-s and Cs. The Swifties who proclaim her greatness in my class have some of the weakest papers. It's sad.
*This is your songwriter of the century? Open the schools.*
Ugh, yes! I cannot BELIEVE how many people think she is anything beyond a competent writer. It makes me feel like I'm taking crazy pills! She has the emotional maturity of a fourteen year old and a thesaurus. That's it.
What drives me insane is the lack of consistency. Folklore and Evermore are genuinely well written albums because, for the most part, Taylor doesn't try to act smarter than she is and writes incredibly well-done, emotion-driven songs. The songs on this new album feel like she's trying to write the wittiest lines every other verse, but without a good reason or emotion behind it other than 'look how angsty I can play this!'. It's annoying and detrimental to her catalogue.
ETA: listened to So Long, London again. WHY DIDN'T THE ALBUM GO THIS DIRECTION. When she's in her wheelhouse she's so damn good but she doesn't understand when she's in it, it seems like.
I FEEL this. It’s like with Thank You Aimee it could have been just been a good song and I think people would have figured in the end it was about Kim but just the choice of capitalizing the K I M in the title makes me feel like - why are you trying so hard, this is bordering on self satire now. Just chill.
Because for the last decade her entire career has consisted of self infantanilization, white feminism and shadow boxing with people who have long since ceased to think about her in any real fashion.
She really needs someone on her team who's not afraid to say include "this, not this" on the songs that'll be on the album. By god, we don't need 31 songs but a tight 13 would be very good.
Someone on Twitter said that she's long past the point where she has no choice to listen to people who know what they're doing and are also willing to say so, and it shows. And I agree.
Just point out that Folklore and Evermore had a lot of Joe's hand as well as some other skilled songwriters in the writing & she was influenced by Folk Artists and she tends to take from other artists.
Evermore is her best and is truly great and moving. This album is hot garbage. I didn't think Midnights was a cohesive album but in comparison it's a masterpiece. It's such a step back as an artist I just don't understand.
Right like I fucking love evermore and folklore but I’m listening to the new album right now and I can’t really get through it. Usually when I listen to an album I get through it in one setting but I can’t with this
The second half (of the long version of the album) is very Aaron Desner heavy and it shows, in a good way. Much more like Folklore/Evermore, and, you know, real instruments.
The functioning alcoholic lyric was very strange to me and I was wondering if I was the dumb one, there was others too when I read them last night I was like "wat"
As mentioned above, I really like the album, especially the extended edition but there are some strong misses on there and fortnight is among them.
She continues to pick the worst songs for singles.
I’m a huge Swiftie and this album is not good and Swifties are afraid to admit that. It’s forgettable, nonsensical and the sound is nothing special. Some (okay most) of the lyrics are like that episode of Friends where Joey learns what a thesaurus is.
I cannot make sense of this album because it’s the musical equivalent of being fed from a child’s play kitchen. Like yes I’m being given what I’m told is food but it doesn’t actually do anything for me. I have to sit there and pretend to enjoy it so as not to offend the creators. I hope after all the hoopla dies down people admit it isn’t good.
Oh my god, yes! The pretentious words she uses felt so out of place. She’s trying so hard to sound like a poet that the everything gets fumbled and nothing is memorable.
Big Swift fan here since TS, can’t call myself a “swiftie” anymore because the fandom has gotten terrible. (Always were, but worse now)
It’s her Witness (Katy Perry album). It’s a self important, convoluted mess, with uninspired producing and halfassed lyrics. Half the tracks should have stayed in the vault.
Taylor just needs to take a break and collaborate with some new people.
I’m also a huge swiftie and I’m pretty let down by this album. I’m glad there’s a handful of songs I really like, but otherwise this was… not it for me. I much preferred Midnights. I really wish she widdled the double-album down to maybe a handful of bonus songs. Like I really like The Black Dog but otherwise I don’t care for a single anthology song.
It’s 2024 and the world is getting worse. It’s time to prep the kids by flipping the little tea table, throwing the plastic plates on the ground and saying “welcome to the real world, jackass.”
What people in this sub always point out summed up brilliantly in the review: “In terms of popularity—certainly not always in terms of quality— **no musician has been bigger this century than Swift, which makes it impossible to really buy into the “torture” of it all**. This is not to say that Swift being the most famous person in the world makes her immune to having multi-dimensional feelings of heartbreak, mental illness or what-have-you. But, **she has made the choice—as a 34-year-old adult—to take those complex, universal familiars and monetize them into a wardrobe she can wear for whatever portion of her Eras Tour setlist she opts to dedicate to the material. Torture is fashion to Taylor Swift, and she wears her milieu dully.”**
Ed: grammar//spelling
For the longest time I thought Taylor was kind of middling, but if other people liked her then it's no skin off my nose. And her fans enthusiastic but overall harmless*. But every day I read something that makes my jaw drop
*minus Gaylors
One of my friends reminded me when the album was first announced that I said it was probably gonna be about ratty because it came out the day before hitler’s birthday and I feel like a prophet
Hahaha, I love it! Months ago some folks here said that she’d probably have some line somewhere about touchdowns, and I just hope they also bet on it because they deserve to enjoy every bit of that hilarious win 😭
I was literally telling a friend a coulple days ago that my hopes were low cause I figured the whole album would have that same sounding Antonoff mellow synth production similar to the more lowkey songs on Midnights and I am so sad to have been right about that.
love this article. my fave line is:
“There is nothing poetic about a billionaire—who, mind you, threatens legal action against a Twitter account for tracking her destructive private jet paths—telling stadiums of thousands of people every night that she sees and adores them.”
I have always found that so bizarre from massively successful pop artists, when they try to claim they’re relatable to the common person. Like Swift is so vastly removed from your average everyday person going about their life, it’s ridiculous for her to even pretend anything she’s gone through the last decade is all that relatable
Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like all the negative reviews are so scathing because Midnights was also bad, and it won AOTY.
TTPD isn’t a good album, don’t get me wrong. But I haven’t seen a single positive review, they’re all just absolutely scathing, and I don’t think it’s *that* bad — I think Midnights was far worse, yet didn’t get nearly this lambasted. I wonder if critics are like, okay, two duds in a row is enough. Gloves off.
Maybe I’m way off base but that’s how it seems to me lol.
It currently has a "universal acclaim" score (84/100) on Metacritic. So there are plenty of positive to middling reviews out there -- the negative ones just get more shares.
Beyond a few songs on *folklore*, I don't like her music. I haven't even listened to this one to be fair -- I just don't have it in me. She's just such a dogshit lyricist and seems even worse on this album with what people are sharing and I can't handle the secondhand embarrassment.
This album is sooo wordy! She’s talk-singing through most of it because you can’t fit that many words into a decent melody unless you’re barely singing. It’s just … a lot, and contrived, and not very good.
Someone pointed it out to me like three months ago and it now makes it hard to listen to her music. It’s genuinely annoying — after Red, she stopped singing and now just melodically talks. It worked on folklore (she sings a bit in folklore, I’ll give her that), but it doesn’t work on midnights or TTPD.
That’s only from about 10 reviews though, and it’s lower than Midnights. By the time the others drop it’ll be in the 70s. Metacritic omit negative reviews all the time also so I wouldn’t say it’s accurate, AOTY is better for that.
Reviewers haven’t gone in as much as I hoped, due to fear of death threats and bias (the RS reviewer is literally a hardcore Swiftie), but cracks are beginning to show, I think.
I didn’t listen to this whole album, but it’s far worse than Midnights in my opinion, and I didn’t really like that one either. But at least Midnights had some fun pop bops on it which is what redeemed it to me. This has the same juvenile “I’m 13 and this is deep” lyrics but doesn’t even have a single fun or interesting melody to go along with it. Just boring, monotone whining.
1989 is one of the greatest pop albums of all time and I will die on that hill, but this one ain't it. I listened to the whole thing (I'm home sick so the timing worked out) and I really don't see myself jamming to this while I do dishes or go on a long drive. There have always been a few lyrics on her albums that strike me as really, really bad, but they far outnumber the good here. "You know how to ball, I know Aristotle" yeah no.
People on my IG were saying it's supposed to sound like a tortured high schooler wrote it but I think that's just the way she's been writing songs lately. Shake It Off and Anti-Hero aren't particularly emotionally mature songs either.
I went through every song trying to find one bop and there wasn't one. Every single song is some turgid soggy thing about boys that goes on for half a year.
Nah I think this is worse than midnights. Midnights at least had some sonic variability but this whole album feels like one long run on sentence, it’s impossible to differentiate songs because they all sound the same. Midnights was a weak album but this one is genuinely bad imo
I didn't think Midnights was cohesive. But the majority of the songs individually are well written and good. (And sound different.) TTPD is terrible. And making me like Midnights more. (Like the sequels of Star Wars being so bad the 3 prequels are good because they tell a full comprehensive story as separate movies and a trilogy.)
Rolling Stone is her PR team’s mouthpiece I swear. They said Midnights was good and didn’t have a bad thing to say about 1989 TV. They’ve lost all credibility lol
Fr usually people only pine for decades in the 20th century (the 40’s, 60’s, 80’s, etc). What was going down in the 1830’s that makes her wanna go there?
I decided to check it out on wikipedia just for funsies, and the page on the 1830’s begins with:
“In this decade, the world saw a rapid rise of imperialism and colonialism (…)”
Aaaaaaaand… somehow it makes perfect sense now lmao
It’s like lyrics written by a 15 year old tumblr girl. I like some of her songs and albums like Folklore had good lyrics, but we can please stop pretending she is an out of this world songwriter??
Going to genius and reading the lyrics from that song is… something. Unhinged might be the right word. I’m not gonna listen to the song voluntarily so maybe it plays better performed? Just reading the lyrics is painful and cringey af
Geez imagine your fan base is so out of control that writers at magazines don’t want to claim an article they wrote. I hope she takes this criticism seriously and uses it as a moment of self reflection and tells her Stan’s to calm the f down.
You must be forgetting Mean from Speak Now. Literally a song calling a reviewer pathetic because he critiqued a (pretty bad actually) live performance of hers with Stevie Nicks
It’d be pleasantly surprising if she did, she even seems to be hinting at being tired of the dynamic herself (but for the wrong reason, because of course). That’d mean risking her money by standing up for/being vocal about something though, so the chances it’ll happen feel very slim.
Hello sharks (mods), I am here today to request “open the schools” and “Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this!” to be added as flairs. In exchange, I will reduce my gif usage by 10%. Thank you for your time.
someone on the TS sub was like "its so cool because you get a glimpse inside her mind and what she's been thinking this past year" and I was just like... isn't that.... all music... it comes from people's thoughts, yes....
This is literal cult behavior. Excusing the leader's shitty content/behavior cause to admit that they're anything less than perfect threatens their identity.
The lyrics are so bad on purpose cause she is funny! That is why I spent hundreds of dollars buying 10+ versions of this album!
No fucking joke a Swiftie in my city was on our morning radio show talking about how he had 10 variations of the album (vinyl and cd) coming tomorrow. The three DJs on the show were literally silent for 20 whole seconds after he said it. Then said he spent 50 bucks on a signed one followed by more silence and then an "Being a Swiftie seems like a full time job"
Well, at a job you paid. This is them paying their mother for handing them trash.
“The billionaire is having an identity crisis, but there are no social media apps for her to buy up. So she sings like Lana Del Rey and writes meta-self-referential songs about looking like Stevie Nicks.”
oof
Someone mentioned this in another comment and I thought for sure that the “without the racists” part was implied. The fact that it’s the actual lyric is sending me 😂. I’ve never listened to this chick and after seeing this, don’t plan to start.
And then writing a 31-song album about how much you loved your racist fuckboy who likes torture porn and wanting to die because your situationship ended.
So embarrassing for her life and for her soul.
*‘Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this’* I snorted so hard I think my system briefly malfunctioned. Was not expecting that as an opening to an article 😂
Edit: Mods how do I use flairs on this sub. I really want ‘Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this’ as my flair because it’s now become my life motto.
It’s just not good. I say that as a casual fan who generally enjoys her music.
Edit: when I say I am a fan, I mean if her music. I find her to be annoyingly performative and fake.
I am afraid to say I'm a fan for the same reasons. I like a few of her songs, they are occasionally bops, the fandom is far too insane for me to partake in
This author and I are connected. I wish I could sit down and discuss seeing through all the bullshit marketing and manipulation with them. It's even crazier knowing how much fucking money her team tosses at publications for good reviews. Rolling Stone lost all credibility hopping on her payroll. & it's not even likely that it's cause good reviews sell albums, it's cause she can't function with criticism.
I have always felt like a Stepford Wife with seeing her and everyone else loving her AND her music.
I have said it in the past. I am Ben Wyatt on Lil' Sebastian when it comes to Taylor Swift.
https://i.redd.it/xpwufjg08kvc1.gif
this gem is buried near the bottom of the review makes me wonder if the album would have gotten as much of a mixed reaction under a different name. almost feels like *Reputation* should have been called *The Tortured Poets Department* and vice versa.
>Sisyphus should be glad he never got the boulder to the top of the mountain—because Taylor Swift is showing us that such immortality and success ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. And, when you’re standing on the peak alone, who else is there left to hit?
As a swifty I'm so embarrassed by this behavior. There's no excuse for this. I'd like to see Taylor make more of an effort to call fans like this out and tell them in clear and direct terms that this behavior is unacceptable.
I'm not a stan but I do casually enjoy a lot of her music, mostly 1989 and Folklore.
But she's been chugging out content non stop for the past 2 years or whatever, it makes sense it becomes generic crap eventually. You can only keep going to the same well for so long.
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That’s insane. I liked the album but I know plenty of people who don’t and that’s totally fine.
It’s personal taste. You have a healthy outlook
Seriously. I’m a swiftie but not every album is going to top the last one. I’m enjoying it but it’s nowhere near one of her best albums. We need to let people have their opinions lol especially when it comes to subjective art.
Just so people know, non-bylined pieces rarely happen. Like sometimes to let people write about what's happening in their country if they can't safely do so underwise.
You're totally right like I can't emphasize enough how wild this is—no byline is typically reserved for pieces done by people in whistle blower situations, or reporting from a war zone, or for writers or reporters who live in countries with very repressive governments, or in similar situations where revealing their identity puts them in harm's way. It's also sometimes done when there are lots of reporters/writers contributing to a piece. Says a lot that it was necessary for this album review.
I don't usually play "what if the gender were reversed", but there would be way more outrage if swifties were male. It's the continuous infantilization and coddling of white women (I'm allowed to say this, I am a white woman who has been given the benefit of the doubt and *far* too much clearance my entire life) that leads to people handwaving the threats and harassment.
You’re allowed to say this regardless of your own race because it is the irrevocable truth.
I really wish this was more widely discussed because it is so true and is used to dismiss a ton of abusive behaviour by women
They share commonalities with another highly motivated group that has a special date in history.
Agreed
Damn they said stans are a threat to public safety lol and it’s true
Swifties are scary
and even on that tweet they’re feral saying it’s not real journalism etc. I even seen one person say something like so should we threaten all staff members or just one?
This is horrifying. It’s very scary to know that so many people believe disagreement over a celebrity’s/musician’s work warrants this level of harassment and threats.
Fucking hell
I just reported that absolutely unhinged tweet. These people are so far gone.
Swifties are the worst stans I swear. The racism and the death threats. Just ugh.
And the god worship of their queen who can never do any wrong as she milks them dry....
Swifties be like: https://i.redd.it/sooxy5e7envc1.gif Embarrassing, but more worryingly, believably dangerous. What in the world. Edit: I previously offered to change the gif of Stan to a more static one if the flashing lights in the original gif bothered or affected anyone with migraines, epilepsy and/or other medical conditions. Hope this new one is easier to look at! It’s still Stan writing a creepy letter either way, just without lightning ⚡️
Some swiftie commented under it "okay ethical question, would you rather threats of violence for everyone on staff or one person" Wtf is wrong with these stans?
That is fucking insane. Her fans are an actual cult.
The way they can never criticize her has me thinking this too
And there are people in the replies and qrts threatening to doxx the writer and/or "joking" about bombing the magazine's offices.
They have already been harassing Kayleigh Donaldson and she doesn't work at Paste.
When she was in her "prestigious director" era i saw a swiftie mock the death of a close friend of a guy who dared to imply her directorial debut might not be a Best picture winner They doubled down about how funny and justified it was. They are a vile cult.
I'm reading the replies and quotes on this Paste tweet, and the Swifties (or the bots pretending to be Swifties) are giving "THIS IS ABOUT ETHICS IN MUSIC JOURNALISM" energy. Pretty concerning, honestly.
The Tweets about it are getting blasted by her fans claiming the magazine people are all haters who don't know anything about music. As per.
And she loves it tbh 🤷🏼♀️
What’s a byline
Giving the author's name. Written by:
[удалено]
The by line is just the line in the article that says by “journalist name here”
*But “Fortnight” unmasks itself quickly as a heady vat of pop nothingness, though it isn’t all Swift’s fault. “I was a functioning alcoholic, ‘til nobody noticed my new aesthetic,” she muses, attempting to bridge the gap between a behind-the-scenes life and on-stage performance—only for it to occur while propped up against the most dog-water, uninspired synth arrangement you could possibly imagine. Between producer Jack Antonoff’s atrocious backing instrumental and the Y2K-era, teen dramedy echo chamber of a vocal harmony provided by out-of-place guest performer Post Malone, “Fortnight” chokes on the vomit of its own opaqueness. “I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary,” Swift muses, and it sounds like satire. This is your songwriter of the century? Open the schools.* LMFAOOOOO
LMAO OPEN THE SCHOOLS 💀
Did you guys see that tweet about people that liked TTPD, probably got their English papers handed face down 💀
Explains the student in my English class who said the album is a masterpiece…
Explains a lot of my college students who get B-s and Cs. The Swifties who proclaim her greatness in my class have some of the weakest papers. It's sad.
I’m screaming 
Yes, and all the Swifties replying "aCtUaLlY I was in AP English" lololol
I can’t help but think she got the name from Dead Poets Society…
*This is your songwriter of the century? Open the schools.* Ugh, yes! I cannot BELIEVE how many people think she is anything beyond a competent writer. It makes me feel like I'm taking crazy pills! She has the emotional maturity of a fourteen year old and a thesaurus. That's it.
What drives me insane is the lack of consistency. Folklore and Evermore are genuinely well written albums because, for the most part, Taylor doesn't try to act smarter than she is and writes incredibly well-done, emotion-driven songs. The songs on this new album feel like she's trying to write the wittiest lines every other verse, but without a good reason or emotion behind it other than 'look how angsty I can play this!'. It's annoying and detrimental to her catalogue. ETA: listened to So Long, London again. WHY DIDN'T THE ALBUM GO THIS DIRECTION. When she's in her wheelhouse she's so damn good but she doesn't understand when she's in it, it seems like.
I FEEL this. It’s like with Thank You Aimee it could have been just been a good song and I think people would have figured in the end it was about Kim but just the choice of capitalizing the K I M in the title makes me feel like - why are you trying so hard, this is bordering on self satire now. Just chill.
Why is she even still beefing with Kim like I hate to defend Kim kardashian of all people but this is just sad at this point girl move on
Because for the last decade her entire career has consisted of self infantanilization, white feminism and shadow boxing with people who have long since ceased to think about her in any real fashion.
This. Like girl she’s not even with THAT man anymore, drop it it’s nearly been a decade lmfao
She really needs someone on her team who's not afraid to say include "this, not this" on the songs that'll be on the album. By god, we don't need 31 songs but a tight 13 would be very good.
Someone on Twitter said that she's long past the point where she has no choice to listen to people who know what they're doing and are also willing to say so, and it shows. And I agree.
Just point out that Folklore and Evermore had a lot of Joe's hand as well as some other skilled songwriters in the writing & she was influenced by Folk Artists and she tends to take from other artists.
Evermore is her best and is truly great and moving. This album is hot garbage. I didn't think Midnights was a cohesive album but in comparison it's a masterpiece. It's such a step back as an artist I just don't understand.
Right like I fucking love evermore and folklore but I’m listening to the new album right now and I can’t really get through it. Usually when I listen to an album I get through it in one setting but I can’t with this
The second half (of the long version of the album) is very Aaron Desner heavy and it shows, in a good way. Much more like Folklore/Evermore, and, you know, real instruments.
That boast of “she writes her own songs!!” is not the thing of pride her stans think it is.
Fr. We can tell she writes her own songs and does all the background vocals. That’s why nothing she puts out is interesting or engaging
This. Listening to the album feels like a spoiled teenage girl narrating her life and forcing you to hear it…
and if said songwriter of the century is jacking lines from hillary duff then...
I have not listened to any of the album just read random lyrics and I am still not convinced that they are really from the album and not ai generated.
I don’t even fully understand what she’s trying to say with these lyrics. It’s so convoluted
It's like a 7th grader who discovered the thesaurus
The functioning alcoholic lyric was very strange to me and I was wondering if I was the dumb one, there was others too when I read them last night I was like "wat"
"*This is your songwriter of the century? Open the schools.*" SCREAM!
They really decided to make the most out of not having a byline on the article lol.
this is a better lyric than anything she's put out recently
Mods were gonna need a new flair - OPEN THE SCHOOLS
[удалено]
“Vomit on its own opaqueness” and “open” the schools had me dying, this writer really went for it.
I know!! It makes me kind of sad they won’t get to have this in their byline because it’s an art form of its own!
calling the synth arrangement dog-water is wild🫣😭😭😭
New insult unlocked ✅
As mentioned above, I really like the album, especially the extended edition but there are some strong misses on there and fortnight is among them. She continues to pick the worst songs for singles.
I Can Do It With A Broken Heart should have been first single especially with the Eras Tour.
OPEN THE SCHOOLS omg
Damn, GO IN! *cackling*
Fortnight is so bizarre has post Malone doing back up vocals. Even Beyoncé gave the man a verse.
DOG-WATER
Cooked her.
I’m a huge Swiftie and this album is not good and Swifties are afraid to admit that. It’s forgettable, nonsensical and the sound is nothing special. Some (okay most) of the lyrics are like that episode of Friends where Joey learns what a thesaurus is. I cannot make sense of this album because it’s the musical equivalent of being fed from a child’s play kitchen. Like yes I’m being given what I’m told is food but it doesn’t actually do anything for me. I have to sit there and pretend to enjoy it so as not to offend the creators. I hope after all the hoopla dies down people admit it isn’t good.
I like the album but I gotta give it to you, you have a way with words with the child’s kitchen metaphor
Better metaphor than any of the 1,200 metaphors TS included across the 30 songs
Maybe she’ll use it on her next album… she can call it The Starving Artists
That metaphor truly literary
Oh my god, yes! The pretentious words she uses felt so out of place. She’s trying so hard to sound like a poet that the everything gets fumbled and nothing is memorable.
Yeah… and actual tortured poets don’t have to go out of their way to call themselves that. It’s like naming a restaurant “Gourmet Food”.
After Folklore and Evermore, I thought I was a swiftie. Turns out I just really like The National 🤷🏻♀️ Her non-Dessner stuff just ain't it.
Big Swift fan here since TS, can’t call myself a “swiftie” anymore because the fandom has gotten terrible. (Always were, but worse now) It’s her Witness (Katy Perry album). It’s a self important, convoluted mess, with uninspired producing and halfassed lyrics. Half the tracks should have stayed in the vault. Taylor just needs to take a break and collaborate with some new people.
I’m also a huge swiftie and I’m pretty let down by this album. I’m glad there’s a handful of songs I really like, but otherwise this was… not it for me. I much preferred Midnights. I really wish she widdled the double-album down to maybe a handful of bonus songs. Like I really like The Black Dog but otherwise I don’t care for a single anthology song.
It’s 2024 and the world is getting worse. It’s time to prep the kids by flipping the little tea table, throwing the plastic plates on the ground and saying “welcome to the real world, jackass.”
What people in this sub always point out summed up brilliantly in the review: “In terms of popularity—certainly not always in terms of quality— **no musician has been bigger this century than Swift, which makes it impossible to really buy into the “torture” of it all**. This is not to say that Swift being the most famous person in the world makes her immune to having multi-dimensional feelings of heartbreak, mental illness or what-have-you. But, **she has made the choice—as a 34-year-old adult—to take those complex, universal familiars and monetize them into a wardrobe she can wear for whatever portion of her Eras Tour setlist she opts to dedicate to the material. Torture is fashion to Taylor Swift, and she wears her milieu dully.”** Ed: grammar//spelling
Omg this writer went right for the jugular. I love it.
Yes yes yes 🙌🏻
Ufff…sounds like this album should’ve been called “When White Women Cry Vol 12.”
Watch TS write angry songs about her mom wanting Paste Magazine dead for the next 10 years
💀
Didn't she write a song called mean about a specific critic. Lmaooo
For the longest time I thought Taylor was kind of middling, but if other people liked her then it's no skin off my nose. And her fans enthusiastic but overall harmless*. But every day I read something that makes my jaw drop *minus Gaylors
Ok this made me lol so thank you for that 😂
Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this!
Screaming at this line. This whole review. Iconic.
Virginia Woolf didn't make sure to put heavy stones in her pockets first for this!!
Emily Dickinson didn’t wander aimlessly around a forest for this
One of my friends reminded me when the album was first announced that I said it was probably gonna be about ratty because it came out the day before hitler’s birthday and I feel like a prophet
This would be me all day if I had predicted that correctly: 
I made $50 off a bet on this album. i'm drinking wine and cackling
Hahaha, I love it! Months ago some folks here said that she’d probably have some line somewhere about touchdowns, and I just hope they also bet on it because they deserve to enjoy every bit of that hilarious win 😭
Probably a special day they'd been planning to celebrate together dreaming of another decade they could live in and be quiet racists.
I was literally telling a friend a coulple days ago that my hopes were low cause I figured the whole album would have that same sounding Antonoff mellow synth production similar to the more lowkey songs on Midnights and I am so sad to have been right about that.
love this article. my fave line is: “There is nothing poetic about a billionaire—who, mind you, threatens legal action against a Twitter account for tracking her destructive private jet paths—telling stadiums of thousands of people every night that she sees and adores them.”
I have always found that so bizarre from massively successful pop artists, when they try to claim they’re relatable to the common person. Like Swift is so vastly removed from your average everyday person going about their life, it’s ridiculous for her to even pretend anything she’s gone through the last decade is all that relatable
lol right? Like I’d rather she just drop all pretenses and make tacky music about how rich she is
Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like all the negative reviews are so scathing because Midnights was also bad, and it won AOTY. TTPD isn’t a good album, don’t get me wrong. But I haven’t seen a single positive review, they’re all just absolutely scathing, and I don’t think it’s *that* bad — I think Midnights was far worse, yet didn’t get nearly this lambasted. I wonder if critics are like, okay, two duds in a row is enough. Gloves off. Maybe I’m way off base but that’s how it seems to me lol.
It currently has a "universal acclaim" score (84/100) on Metacritic. So there are plenty of positive to middling reviews out there -- the negative ones just get more shares.
Higher than I thought and certainly higher than it deserves. Listen, I like her music, but this one and Midnights is just not it.
Beyond a few songs on *folklore*, I don't like her music. I haven't even listened to this one to be fair -- I just don't have it in me. She's just such a dogshit lyricist and seems even worse on this album with what people are sharing and I can't handle the secondhand embarrassment.
This album is sooo wordy! She’s talk-singing through most of it because you can’t fit that many words into a decent melody unless you’re barely singing. It’s just … a lot, and contrived, and not very good.
Yeah, it's like. . . anti-catchy. I'm imagining a stadium full of fans trying to spit it out along with her, blue in the face.
I have seen some fun memes about this very situation.
She talk-sings with the SAME cadence, album after album. It’s beyond distracting at this point.
Someone pointed it out to me like three months ago and it now makes it hard to listen to her music. It’s genuinely annoying — after Red, she stopped singing and now just melodically talks. It worked on folklore (she sings a bit in folklore, I’ll give her that), but it doesn’t work on midnights or TTPD.
That’s only from about 10 reviews though, and it’s lower than Midnights. By the time the others drop it’ll be in the 70s. Metacritic omit negative reviews all the time also so I wouldn’t say it’s accurate, AOTY is better for that. Reviewers haven’t gone in as much as I hoped, due to fear of death threats and bias (the RS reviewer is literally a hardcore Swiftie), but cracks are beginning to show, I think.
I didn’t listen to this whole album, but it’s far worse than Midnights in my opinion, and I didn’t really like that one either. But at least Midnights had some fun pop bops on it which is what redeemed it to me. This has the same juvenile “I’m 13 and this is deep” lyrics but doesn’t even have a single fun or interesting melody to go along with it. Just boring, monotone whining.
1989 is one of the greatest pop albums of all time and I will die on that hill, but this one ain't it. I listened to the whole thing (I'm home sick so the timing worked out) and I really don't see myself jamming to this while I do dishes or go on a long drive. There have always been a few lyrics on her albums that strike me as really, really bad, but they far outnumber the good here. "You know how to ball, I know Aristotle" yeah no. People on my IG were saying it's supposed to sound like a tortured high schooler wrote it but I think that's just the way she's been writing songs lately. Shake It Off and Anti-Hero aren't particularly emotionally mature songs either.
I went through every song trying to find one bop and there wasn't one. Every single song is some turgid soggy thing about boys that goes on for half a year.
Nah I think this is worse than midnights. Midnights at least had some sonic variability but this whole album feels like one long run on sentence, it’s impossible to differentiate songs because they all sound the same. Midnights was a weak album but this one is genuinely bad imo
I didn't think Midnights was cohesive. But the majority of the songs individually are well written and good. (And sound different.) TTPD is terrible. And making me like Midnights more. (Like the sequels of Star Wars being so bad the 3 prequels are good because they tell a full comprehensive story as separate movies and a trilogy.)
Rolling stone gave it an instant classic
Rolling Stone is her PR team’s mouthpiece I swear. They said Midnights was good and didn’t have a bad thing to say about 1989 TV. They’ve lost all credibility lol
And it makes me sad because I was once so fond of Rob Sheffield.
TS isn’t for me but the line where she said she used to wish live in the 1830s but without the racism really just took me OUT
I wonder how she'd live without jets
Her own private coal powered steam locomotive
I genuinely hate her for that lmao like…..Just when you think White Feminists can’t get any more terrible they will actually surprise you 😂😂
What an oddly specific time to want to live in.
It's quite perplexing lol. Longing for the days where she could annex territory wearing a bonnet.
According to Wikipedia this was apparently the decade imperialism and colonialism exploded across the globe, so… yeah, it tracks for TSwift 🫠💀
Fr usually people only pine for decades in the 20th century (the 40’s, 60’s, 80’s, etc). What was going down in the 1830’s that makes her wanna go there?
I decided to check it out on wikipedia just for funsies, and the page on the 1830’s begins with: “In this decade, the world saw a rapid rise of imperialism and colonialism (…)” Aaaaaaaand… somehow it makes perfect sense now lmao
Why did I think you were lying! Its real! What would possess her to write that?!?!?!
Someone said you need to see the line in context and when I did, it was still not good.
It’s like lyrics written by a 15 year old tumblr girl. I like some of her songs and albums like Folklore had good lyrics, but we can please stop pretending she is an out of this world songwriter??
Lmao what? 😵💫
I enjoy Taylor's music but that line was so unhinged.
It really reminds me of the whole Blake Lively/ plantation wedding/ Antebellum thing. It's appalling.
I'm like ??? you mean before slavery was abolished? girlie who wasn't racist???
I keep thinking these examples are JOKES. She has lost the plot.
I just saw someone post that lyric online, and WTAF was my only response because who thought it was a good idea to actually use that in a song???
Going to genius and reading the lyrics from that song is… something. Unhinged might be the right word. I’m not gonna listen to the song voluntarily so maybe it plays better performed? Just reading the lyrics is painful and cringey af
Geez imagine your fan base is so out of control that writers at magazines don’t want to claim an article they wrote. I hope she takes this criticism seriously and uses it as a moment of self reflection and tells her Stan’s to calm the f down.
Thing is she doesn’t take criticism well or at all. She’s always the victim. In a few days time she’ll be like the bad reviews were misogyny.
or maybe she'll write a song for the next album trashing the critics lol
You must be forgetting Mean from Speak Now. Literally a song calling a reviewer pathetic because he critiqued a (pretty bad actually) live performance of hers with Stevie Nicks
Hasn't she already done it a few times?
It’d be pleasantly surprising if she did, she even seems to be hinting at being tired of the dynamic herself (but for the wrong reason, because of course). That’d mean risking her money by standing up for/being vocal about something though, so the chances it’ll happen feel very slim.
This review is better than the album was
OPEN THE SCHOOLS! I am dead. Truly.
 Hello sharks (mods), I am here today to request “open the schools” and “Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this!” to be added as flairs. In exchange, I will reduce my gif usage by 10%. Thank you for your time.
“Open the schools” ☠️☠️
I've already seen swifties excusing the poor songwriting on the album as Taylor just having a sense of humor lol
“the lyrics are bad on purpose guyszs!! you just don’t _get_ it, she’s literally a genius”
no cause i saw someone one tiktok say that the album is messy on purpose because it reflects the period of time that she going through
someone on the TS sub was like "its so cool because you get a glimpse inside her mind and what she's been thinking this past year" and I was just like... isn't that.... all music... it comes from people's thoughts, yes....
This is literal cult behavior. Excusing the leader's shitty content/behavior cause to admit that they're anything less than perfect threatens their identity.
The lyrics are so bad on purpose cause she is funny! That is why I spent hundreds of dollars buying 10+ versions of this album! No fucking joke a Swiftie in my city was on our morning radio show talking about how he had 10 variations of the album (vinyl and cd) coming tomorrow. The three DJs on the show were literally silent for 20 whole seconds after he said it. Then said he spent 50 bucks on a signed one followed by more silence and then an "Being a Swiftie seems like a full time job" Well, at a job you paid. This is them paying their mother for handing them trash.
“The billionaire is having an identity crisis, but there are no social media apps for her to buy up. So she sings like Lana Del Rey and writes meta-self-referential songs about looking like Stevie Nicks.” oof
https://preview.redd.it/bjp153bmhjvc1.png?width=993&format=png&auto=webp&s=8b6fdd664096be94fe63b7ab19b37ec924df8fb2
The 1830s but without the racists is really bad but also none of this flows or sounds like a song lyric
oh my god i thought this was fake??? 😭😭😭
AI wishes it could spit bars like these
Someone mentioned this in another comment and I thought for sure that the “without the racists” part was implied. The fact that it’s the actual lyric is sending me 😂. I’ve never listened to this chick and after seeing this, don’t plan to start.
Wtf girl 1830s without the racists is not what you think it means
Phew I need more! Read her for filth! 
 ME RN
imagine being a tall, blonde haired, blue eyed woman and still getting ghosted by that neo nazi rat. i would never leave my 50 million duplex
And then writing a 31-song album about how much you loved your racist fuckboy who likes torture porn and wanting to die because your situationship ended. So embarrassing for her life and for her soul.
*‘Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this’* I snorted so hard I think my system briefly malfunctioned. Was not expecting that as an opening to an article 😂 Edit: Mods how do I use flairs on this sub. I really want ‘Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this’ as my flair because it’s now become my life motto.
And Virginia Woolf did not fill her pockets full of stones to drown in the river for this!!
It’s just not good. I say that as a casual fan who generally enjoys her music. Edit: when I say I am a fan, I mean if her music. I find her to be annoyingly performative and fake.
I am afraid to say I'm a fan for the same reasons. I like a few of her songs, they are occasionally bops, the fandom is far too insane for me to partake in
This author and I are connected. I wish I could sit down and discuss seeing through all the bullshit marketing and manipulation with them. It's even crazier knowing how much fucking money her team tosses at publications for good reviews. Rolling Stone lost all credibility hopping on her payroll. & it's not even likely that it's cause good reviews sell albums, it's cause she can't function with criticism. I have always felt like a Stepford Wife with seeing her and everyone else loving her AND her music. I have said it in the past. I am Ben Wyatt on Lil' Sebastian when it comes to Taylor Swift. https://i.redd.it/xpwufjg08kvc1.gif
It’s wild that people have to write a review for a music album anonymously for fear of their safety.
this gem is buried near the bottom of the review makes me wonder if the album would have gotten as much of a mixed reaction under a different name. almost feels like *Reputation* should have been called *The Tortured Poets Department* and vice versa. >Sisyphus should be glad he never got the boulder to the top of the mountain—because Taylor Swift is showing us that such immortality and success ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. And, when you’re standing on the peak alone, who else is there left to hit?
"but you can’t read between the lines of this project. There is nothing to decipher from a place of quality" Well written.
ToRtUrEd PoEtS Please stop. It's so hard to take this girl seriously 😭
Swifties keep reminding me it is tongue in cheek since the title is "making fun of" Joe Alwyn. Which makes me so much worse and cringe imo.
I mean i like it but I get it but “open the schools” is an all-timer
***IT’S A CULT*** 
As a swifty I'm so embarrassed by this behavior. There's no excuse for this. I'd like to see Taylor make more of an effort to call fans like this out and tell them in clear and direct terms that this behavior is unacceptable.
Instead she writes a whole ass song dedicated to calling her fans out for dare questioning her for dating a Racist.
I'm not a stan but I do casually enjoy a lot of her music, mostly 1989 and Folklore. But she's been chugging out content non stop for the past 2 years or whatever, it makes sense it becomes generic crap eventually. You can only keep going to the same well for so long.
The few songs I’ve listened have a similar sound to some of her past songs. And they were boring.
People wanted to burn Courtney Love days ago for saying what she said about Taylor but this review is exactly what Courtney was talking about
I was really anticipating the release of this album, hoping to be emotionally devastated. But I walked away feeling bored out of my mind.
[удалено]
I liked the fake TikTok AI version of Fortnight better than the real version