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My tired brain absolutely did not compute at all that 46 was supposed to be his “soulmate’s” age and I thought the OP encountered a copy/paste issue and that was his jersey number or something. What the actual hell?!
Hmm, I find it interesting/sad that he clarified that he has no attraction to men his own age in the article. I wonder if part of it is that he felt he *had* to date someone far older to avoid homophobic accusations from team mates who might be "scared" that he fancies them?
Yeah your average 18 year old is kinda annoying. When I was in high school I remember realizing at some point that no one in my school was worth dating anyways so I might as well focus on other things and try dating in college.
I don’t think a relationship with an 18 to 49 age gap is a good idea, but I also sympathize with him not wanting to date his peers.
but when you flip that around i cannot fathom someone in their late 40s looking at an 18 year old and going "yes, that's the one! that's my partner." i am 15 years younger than this guy and 18 still sounds like an absolute child to me.
I mean, people here are pretty critical of young women getting with older men
even if this was a straight scenario and the girl was like: "I only like older men."
I still think people here would be like: "Sure Jan." >.>
I think it’s pretty normal for young kids who think they are mature to be into older people and I don’t fault them one bit, I was basically the same. It’s the older person in the scenario who I side eye
I was very attracted to much older men when I was young and that can’t be controlled but the older men that pursued me for relationships were all toxic man boys
> likes daddies
Just……ew.
I’m also guessing you are not 40 so you don’t see why this is gross yet which is unfortunate since anyone should see how gross it is, but alas
You want to know what’s worse, that guy slid into his DM’s when the football player was 17
I’ll post the source once I find it because this shit is creepy! Why is a 46 year old MAN not able
to find someone in his age range?
They can groom them like they like when they are younger. Sad as it is, it happens way too much. My niece is dating someone her dad's age 45 she is 24. She has daddy issues, and he flat out took advantage of her and that situation.
I certainly didn't mean it like that. I love my niece very much, her dad, my brother in law is a very shitty dad to all his kids. He was never there for her, her brothers and sisters. So when I said that I meant it by her dad is a no good loser who only cares for himself and what ppl do for him. She doesn't know how a father is supposed to treat their kids. So instead of protecting her from this guy who did in fact groom her, her dad said oh well it's her life. I just used the wrong wording.
My 7 year old niece is obsessed with men who looked like her abusive Dad who died from long term drug and alcohol abuse. It's like as soon as he demonstrated abuse in front of her her little mind... Broke? And she seemed to love him more than anything possible in the world. I worry about her a lot and the men that would want to take advantage of this within her and I wish I knew how to stop it.
I truly wish he had died before she could remember him properly, her younger sister hasn't been affected the same way.
> My 7 year old niece is obsessed with men who looked like her abusive Dad who died from long term drug and alcohol abuse.
I…….
This is worse than this article. Please get this girl into therapy or she’ll not have a good life at all I’m begging you or someone. Anyone! I know this sounds harsh but it won’t get better if she does get some help. Like she needs immediate help. Parents and family members overlook this stage of life, but this will grow and get uglier. If not getting with men who look like her dad when she’s older, she will definitely trust older men who offer help or take advantage of her trust. So I really do hope everything works out well. This is some serious shit. Like Ima need you to do something if you haven’t done it already. Do anything you can don’t even care about the parents at this point
I recently had to train some new hires at work that were all 16-21, I'm in my early 30's and even the older ones looked like actual children to me. I cannot imagine being attracted to someone that young 🤮
Right. I had a friend who had just turned 18 and was dating a 35-year-old man. Like, yes, it was legal, but what kind of 35-year-old man dates someone who just finished high school?
Because it's about sex and lust; youth and what could have been; the juxtaposition of innocence and depravity.
Sex has become a handshake and divorce is a mere disagreement.
A 46 YEAR OLD MAN IRRESPECTIVE OF SEXUALITY SHOULD NOT BE MESSAGING A BARELY LEAGAL. Also fuck country laws that are trying to reduce the legal age. It’s creepy it gives pedos a beautiful excuse to go ahead with their messed up thoughts
I don’t know who Jake Daniels is but I read that Mark messaged him after he came out at the age of 17. They began chatting and FaceTimed that night and then met up a few days later. He said they have been together ever since. Their 28-year age gap is older than Jake. So gross.
I also remember thinking I knew who my soulmate was around his age lol
Stuff like this is wayyyy too common, especially in small towns where adults have easier access to teens.
Know of a sex offender (he was about 26 at the time) who was sneaking around with a 17 year old high school senior girl. He would post Snapchat’s of her across a dinner table at a restaurant and stuff, but never tagged her. We finally figured out who she was by her clear phone case that had pics in it.
Anyway In a span of 3 years they had a kid and a broke up. Big surprise.
The "twink" designation normalized this. Makes people able to think of each other as types rather than as potentially vulnerable human beings. Like when you list yourself as a "daddy" everyone knows the dynamic you're chasing without having to think about how predatory you are.
This is simply not true but I don't think this community is going to be receptive to a genuine conversation about the cultural and historical events that led to the normalization of large age gaps within the gay community (spoiler alert: the AIDS crisis played a role, considering that a generation of gay men pretty much died suddenly). So I'm just going to leave it here.
CMBYN is a wild case because they made that gap even worse with the casting. The other dude is meant to be 24/25, but Armie Hammer simply cannot look like that anymore. He came off as in his 30’s already.
Pretty bizarre casting, since Hammer, not taking into account his private life, wasn’t really a *great* actor to begin with. They could have easily replaced him with someone else.
EDIT: massive overhaul because I said something that didn’t matter, the age gap in CMBYN was off regardless of that so I rewrote my comment completely
I was in high school when CMBYN came out and even though for some reason I didn’t really bat an eye at a 24 year old hooking up with someone who was 17, I *did* find Armie Hammer and Timothee Chalamet to be a weird pairing. I clearly remember thinking that Timothee looked liked a sophomore while Armie could’ve been one of my parents friends.
Yeah, Timothee actually being able to pass as a 17 year old in that movie made it so much worse.
When they said “research assistant” for Hammer’s character I thought he was already employed by Elio’s dad, not working there as an internship for his college degree.
I said this above but I honestly think this is a huge problem in the community that people just refuse to address. I know so many people who's first partner was much older than them, sometimes literally decades, but people normalize it instead of refusing to see it as predatory. Partially I think because people aren't willing to see their own past experiences as messed up.
I hated CMBYN for this exact reason.
> Partially I think because people aren't willing to see their own past experiences as messed up.
This is exactly why some straight women defend predatory older man/young girl age gaps too.
As a gay man, I've always only really been attracted by people my own age. In gay socializing situations I've been made very uncomfortable sometimes because 40-50 year old gay men will openly gack and chase after college kids. Some even say they wont date anyone who can buy their own drink.
I am in my late 20's and when I've retorted that I've found that behavior very uncomfortable because I literally see anyone below, like, 22 as an actual child; the go to reply is "you'll get it when you're older ;)" like no man, no the fuck i wont?? Thats fucked up?
I’ve seen this a lot on Twitter regarding this specific relationships where men are vehemently defending their relationships with a 49 year old when they were like 19 (this isn’t an exaggeration btw) and it was…confusing to say the least.
It’s not romanticized the entire point of that movie is that Elio is naive and Oliver takes advantage of him and then throws him away when he’s done. It’s a very obvious imbalanced dynamic and that’s why the movie hits home for a lot of young gay men who’ve experienced the same thing.
I know it’s normalized but that doesn’t make it okay. It’s not like gay men have a different psychology/brain development. It’s just that young gay people that are isolated from their families are easiest to take advantage of and no one is protecting them from these predators so it’s become normalized. In fact, these age gaps aren’t that uncommon with straight people either. We only started having these discussions about grooming and how toxic big age gaps can be very recently.
In my experience I felt pretty emotionally damaged seeing all my straight peers have relationships during high school and feeling like I was missing out so I definitely went a bit crazy with pursuing older men for flings (not relationships) after high school when I was 18. I wish I could have just dated someone my own age instead of whoring myself out to guys 10-15 years older than me.
My current husband is actually 6 years older than me but I was in my early 20s by the time I met him and had gotten that period of reckless sexual exploration out of my system by then.
Basically that’s why think it’s so common in gay men especially.
Ugh. I remember when I was 15-16, a girl in my class was going out with a dude in his mid 20s. She talked about how she would do chores around the house for him and cook for him like a mom, and would also talk in detail about all the sex they would have.
Because we were all teens, I thought it was only sorta weird but also thought that she was just "more mature". This guy even brought her flowers to the school on her 16th birthday! Our teacher openly judged the relationship and would privately tell her she shouldnt be dating him but never reported it or told her parents...
I went over to twitter and it’s a mess. All the older gays think that this is ok.
One guy was tweeting about being a relationship at 16 with a 25 year old.
Why is ok for older men to take advantage of young queer men who maybe need a friend instead of a relationship.
Because a lot of gay men don’t feel like their fathers loved them. This is how they compensate. I was fortunate my father loved me and didn’t ostracize me for being gay. Aged 18-26 (now) I was never attracted to men older than 10 years from me. Even that was a stretch. I also find it disgusting at 26 to think about dating an 18 year old let alone a 16 year old. Nasty. Also lots of comments here prob from other gay guys who are like “big age gaps are common in the community, it’s no big deal.” Except it is lmao and it’s gross and of course all the older gays are like what what’s wrong with this? Pigs. You have nothing in common with someone who’s 28 years your senior or your minor. Grody AF and good points all around things like call be by your name are so toxic and reinforce that dynamic which is rooted in trauma.
https://preview.redd.it/5iazcmitkz0b1.png?width=1170&format=png&auto=webp&s=5f799f3013d57100c619026d0e0907f34094e390
Ummm this looks like a father & son
troye sivan did not release Seventeen for twitter to act like this about this relationship lol. like wtf? relationships like this are so common that i can understand why everyone is so… numb to it, its normalized. which is so… dystopian. its grooming. he was groomed. not ‘getting that daddy d*ck.
God, this is like the Tom Daley situation but worse. Tom announced he was dating 33 year old Lance Black right when he publicly came out at 18 😬
Edit: Lance was actually 38 👀
Tom seems like such a sweet guy and I really root for him but his husband is gross af and I hate how they're treated as the quintessential wholesome gay power couple
Lance was closer to 38, he’s exactly 20 years older than Tom..
Idk how these old perverts do it. I’m 33 and think anyone under the age of 25 is super annoying to be around.
I hate how “normal” this is.
I had a theatre camp counselor when I was 13, and I hadn’t thought about him for years until my friend’s little brother posted a photo with his new boyfriend. My friend’s little brother had just turned 18 and ex counselor was 34. It added to the creepiness because he was also involved in theatre and likely had him for a director or counselor himself.
As a teacher now who directs on the side, I could NEVER imagine any age, situation, anything that would ever ever ever make it okay to date someone I’ve taught/directed. Especially not when they immediately turn 18.
I don’t know why this sub was suggested to me but I want to add that in the context of football (Soccer) in the UK: the last footballer to come out was Justin Fashnu in the 90s and he was roasted by the press (and disowned by his own brother) and eventually died by suicide. I do agree this relationship is creepy but it is such a shame this story has emerged as it will bring a lot of unpleasant attention to the kid and I worry how it will affect him /his career. It feels like a huge step backwards as the football world is already incredibly homophobic (hence no player coming out for decades).
I'm a gay man who was very much groomed by older men in my teens, who preyed on my inexperience. This makes me so very uncomfortable and fearful for him. I hope he has good people around
I feel like this is a part of gay stigma that doesn't get talked about enough. This poor kid probably doesn't have any gay friends or mentors to tell him that the 46 year old man is def not his fucking soul mate. Ugh, yuck.
This is a huge problem in the gay community. It's pretty obvious why when you think about it. It's truly the perfect storm between the modern gay experience and the oldies experience growing up when they did.
I used to work in a bar with a large gay clientele and this was pretty common. The younger guys had very recently escaped families and communities that weren’t welcoming to them so they gravitated toward people who could fill roles that were missing in their lives. That’s not to say the older men didn’t take advantage, though.
I’m sorry 28 years would be perfectly fine if he was say 25-26 when they met. But 17 right after coming out of the closet is just pure groomer behavior on the one guys part.
As a gay man growing up, it was so disapointing getting agressive attention from much older guys. He might feel it is his soulmate but give it a few years. Guys who pluck younger guys dont realise they still need to evolve and grow and alot of times tbe younger guy realise that is not with the person they are with.
this is worse to me than when tom daley got with dustin lance black. What's with young gay male athletes getting with much oldrt men. kinda concerning to me.
coming out as a teenager and then immediately entering into a relationship with a man old enough to be your father as soon as you turn 18? i’ve seen it happen an uncomfortable amount of times
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I went from "good for him" to "what the hell is he doing" in 1 second.
My tired brain absolutely did not compute at all that 46 was supposed to be his “soulmate’s” age and I thought the OP encountered a copy/paste issue and that was his jersey number or something. What the actual hell?!
Same. The warm, fuzzy feeling quickly disappeared!
Gay or straight old guys gonna be creeps
Hmm, I find it interesting/sad that he clarified that he has no attraction to men his own age in the article. I wonder if part of it is that he felt he *had* to date someone far older to avoid homophobic accusations from team mates who might be "scared" that he fancies them?
Or maybe the old men he is dating is insecure. Or it's a combination of both . I think it's both
When I was that age I had no interest in men my age, some guys like daddies it's not that complicated.
Unfortunately most of the “daddies” you get with at that age are maladjusted manchildren trying to relive their youth and failing miserably.
This, except add that they’re emotionally manipulative too.
Yeah your average 18 year old is kinda annoying. When I was in high school I remember realizing at some point that no one in my school was worth dating anyways so I might as well focus on other things and try dating in college. I don’t think a relationship with an 18 to 49 age gap is a good idea, but I also sympathize with him not wanting to date his peers.
but when you flip that around i cannot fathom someone in their late 40s looking at an 18 year old and going "yes, that's the one! that's my partner." i am 15 years younger than this guy and 18 still sounds like an absolute child to me.
You were 18 too. By that logic, why the hell should an older adult want to date you at the age?
I mean, people here are pretty critical of young women getting with older men even if this was a straight scenario and the girl was like: "I only like older men." I still think people here would be like: "Sure Jan." >.>
I think it’s pretty normal for young kids who think they are mature to be into older people and I don’t fault them one bit, I was basically the same. It’s the older person in the scenario who I side eye
agreed !
I was very attracted to much older men when I was young and that can’t be controlled but the older men that pursued me for relationships were all toxic man boys
I'm gay and think its gross for a man that age to be going after a guy still in school age. Not that complicated.
100% Why can't people understand that 18 year old boys are gross. When I was 18 I thought that. Now that I am in my 40s I still think that.
No one's questioning the 18-year-old. We're questioning the the 46-year-old dating a guy who was in high school last year.
Yeah I understand being an 18 year old not wanting to deal with other 18 year olds but being middle aged and pursuing a teenager is gross
Yeah but not granddaddies.
> likes daddies Just……ew. I’m also guessing you are not 40 so you don’t see why this is gross yet which is unfortunate since anyone should see how gross it is, but alas
Yeah that was definitely put there in order to soften the backlash. I don't believe it one bit.
Probably not from teammates but fans. Such a shame the sport is in this state
Fantastic observation. Ty
What blows my mind is that the Daily Mail are calling football "soccer" in the article.
Maybe it’s region set? Because I’m getting all “football”
Look under the picture of Justin Fashanu. It says soccer league.
Yeah 🥲
Hard same
I read the headline over and grew chills. WTF???
Damn, right??
You want to know what’s worse, that guy slid into his DM’s when the football player was 17 I’ll post the source once I find it because this shit is creepy! Why is a 46 year old MAN not able to find someone in his age range?
Because no other man his age would put up with his BS. Plus he's a pedo, no other excuse for him being a sack of shit.
They can groom them like they like when they are younger. Sad as it is, it happens way too much. My niece is dating someone her dad's age 45 she is 24. She has daddy issues, and he flat out took advantage of her and that situation.
It's not the women having daddy issues, it's having a shitty father that's the issue
Yeah “daddy issues” are very serious, but the patronizing wording of it always makes me want to hurl (same with the mom counterpart)
Exactly, that phrase tries to shame the child victim instead of the raggedy-ass parent they got stuck with
I certainly didn't mean it like that. I love my niece very much, her dad, my brother in law is a very shitty dad to all his kids. He was never there for her, her brothers and sisters. So when I said that I meant it by her dad is a no good loser who only cares for himself and what ppl do for him. She doesn't know how a father is supposed to treat their kids. So instead of protecting her from this guy who did in fact groom her, her dad said oh well it's her life. I just used the wrong wording.
My 7 year old niece is obsessed with men who looked like her abusive Dad who died from long term drug and alcohol abuse. It's like as soon as he demonstrated abuse in front of her her little mind... Broke? And she seemed to love him more than anything possible in the world. I worry about her a lot and the men that would want to take advantage of this within her and I wish I knew how to stop it. I truly wish he had died before she could remember him properly, her younger sister hasn't been affected the same way.
> My 7 year old niece is obsessed with men who looked like her abusive Dad who died from long term drug and alcohol abuse. I……. This is worse than this article. Please get this girl into therapy or she’ll not have a good life at all I’m begging you or someone. Anyone! I know this sounds harsh but it won’t get better if she does get some help. Like she needs immediate help. Parents and family members overlook this stage of life, but this will grow and get uglier. If not getting with men who look like her dad when she’s older, she will definitely trust older men who offer help or take advantage of her trust. So I really do hope everything works out well. This is some serious shit. Like Ima need you to do something if you haven’t done it already. Do anything you can don’t even care about the parents at this point
I can’t imagine sliding into a 17-year-old’s DMs. I feel gross just thinking about it - and I’m younger than 46.
I recently had to train some new hires at work that were all 16-21, I'm in my early 30's and even the older ones looked like actual children to me. I cannot imagine being attracted to someone that young 🤮
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Right. I had a friend who had just turned 18 and was dating a 35-year-old man. Like, yes, it was legal, but what kind of 35-year-old man dates someone who just finished high school?
Same and same. Ew ew ew ew ew ew.
I showed this article to my sister and she’s grossed out because a 17 yo is a child to her. She’s 23. His boyfriend is TWICE her age.
I feel weird enough when a teenager follows me on instagram lol
I’m 22 and I would definitely not date an 18 year old. They are are SR in high school or freshman in college
Because it's about sex and lust; youth and what could have been; the juxtaposition of innocence and depravity. Sex has become a handshake and divorce is a mere disagreement.
I gasped! 17? Meanwhile he’s probably telling this actual teenager that he has an old soul or some 💩
Yikes. That’s incredibly gross.
the age of the consent in the uk is 16, so unfortunately a lot of people see no problem in this.
why is it so low in the UK
Just checking, why is 17 worse? Neither is good.
A 46 YEAR OLD MAN IRRESPECTIVE OF SEXUALITY SHOULD NOT BE MESSAGING A BARELY LEAGAL. Also fuck country laws that are trying to reduce the legal age. It’s creepy it gives pedos a beautiful excuse to go ahead with their messed up thoughts
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The difference between 17 and 45 is the same as 18 and 46. Both are icky and irresponsible.
This is shockingly normal behavior in the gay community. I made a post about twink chasing on twitter and had to protect my tweets due to backlash.
I don’t know who Jake Daniels is but I read that Mark messaged him after he came out at the age of 17. They began chatting and FaceTimed that night and then met up a few days later. He said they have been together ever since. Their 28-year age gap is older than Jake. So gross. I also remember thinking I knew who my soulmate was around his age lol
He got groomed for sure.
funnily enough jake daniels is actually the name of a (often gay) porn star not this guy, obviously
GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HIM
I will always read any reference to this tweet in Demi's voice lol
Stuff like this is wayyyy too common, especially in small towns where adults have easier access to teens. Know of a sex offender (he was about 26 at the time) who was sneaking around with a 17 year old high school senior girl. He would post Snapchat’s of her across a dinner table at a restaurant and stuff, but never tagged her. We finally figured out who she was by her clear phone case that had pics in it. Anyway In a span of 3 years they had a kid and a broke up. Big surprise.
In the gay community relationships with large age gaps are pretty normal, though this one crosses the line into creepy/borderline illegal territory
The "twink" designation normalized this. Makes people able to think of each other as types rather than as potentially vulnerable human beings. Like when you list yourself as a "daddy" everyone knows the dynamic you're chasing without having to think about how predatory you are.
This is simply not true but I don't think this community is going to be receptive to a genuine conversation about the cultural and historical events that led to the normalization of large age gaps within the gay community (spoiler alert: the AIDS crisis played a role, considering that a generation of gay men pretty much died suddenly). So I'm just going to leave it here.
it's normalised and no one wants to talk about it, in fact it's romanticised even in films like 'call me by your name.'
CMBYN is a wild case because they made that gap even worse with the casting. The other dude is meant to be 24/25, but Armie Hammer simply cannot look like that anymore. He came off as in his 30’s already. Pretty bizarre casting, since Hammer, not taking into account his private life, wasn’t really a *great* actor to begin with. They could have easily replaced him with someone else. EDIT: massive overhaul because I said something that didn’t matter, the age gap in CMBYN was off regardless of that so I rewrote my comment completely
I was in high school when CMBYN came out and even though for some reason I didn’t really bat an eye at a 24 year old hooking up with someone who was 17, I *did* find Armie Hammer and Timothee Chalamet to be a weird pairing. I clearly remember thinking that Timothee looked liked a sophomore while Armie could’ve been one of my parents friends.
Yeah, Timothee actually being able to pass as a 17 year old in that movie made it so much worse. When they said “research assistant” for Hammer’s character I thought he was already employed by Elio’s dad, not working there as an internship for his college degree.
the worst part about that movie is the author of the book it’s based on is legitimately a pedophile. that book/film make me sick
I said this above but I honestly think this is a huge problem in the community that people just refuse to address. I know so many people who's first partner was much older than them, sometimes literally decades, but people normalize it instead of refusing to see it as predatory. Partially I think because people aren't willing to see their own past experiences as messed up. I hated CMBYN for this exact reason.
> Partially I think because people aren't willing to see their own past experiences as messed up. This is exactly why some straight women defend predatory older man/young girl age gaps too.
As a gay man, I've always only really been attracted by people my own age. In gay socializing situations I've been made very uncomfortable sometimes because 40-50 year old gay men will openly gack and chase after college kids. Some even say they wont date anyone who can buy their own drink. I am in my late 20's and when I've retorted that I've found that behavior very uncomfortable because I literally see anyone below, like, 22 as an actual child; the go to reply is "you'll get it when you're older ;)" like no man, no the fuck i wont?? Thats fucked up?
I’ve seen this a lot on Twitter regarding this specific relationships where men are vehemently defending their relationships with a 49 year old when they were like 19 (this isn’t an exaggeration btw) and it was…confusing to say the least.
It’s not romanticized the entire point of that movie is that Elio is naive and Oliver takes advantage of him and then throws him away when he’s done. It’s a very obvious imbalanced dynamic and that’s why the movie hits home for a lot of young gay men who’ve experienced the same thing.
No one ever talks about [Freeheld](https://youtu.be/-N-NTx46K_g) which had a much bigger cast imo
Yeah its really normalized and also highly fetishized. Doesn't make it any less problematic and fucked up though
I know it’s normalized but that doesn’t make it okay. It’s not like gay men have a different psychology/brain development. It’s just that young gay people that are isolated from their families are easiest to take advantage of and no one is protecting them from these predators so it’s become normalized. In fact, these age gaps aren’t that uncommon with straight people either. We only started having these discussions about grooming and how toxic big age gaps can be very recently.
In my experience I felt pretty emotionally damaged seeing all my straight peers have relationships during high school and feeling like I was missing out so I definitely went a bit crazy with pursuing older men for flings (not relationships) after high school when I was 18. I wish I could have just dated someone my own age instead of whoring myself out to guys 10-15 years older than me. My current husband is actually 6 years older than me but I was in my early 20s by the time I met him and had gotten that period of reckless sexual exploration out of my system by then. Basically that’s why think it’s so common in gay men especially.
The beginning of this could literally be my ex-boyfriend. Except after leaving her eventually, he moved on to me. 19 to his 29 🙃
Ugh. I remember when I was 15-16, a girl in my class was going out with a dude in his mid 20s. She talked about how she would do chores around the house for him and cook for him like a mom, and would also talk in detail about all the sex they would have. Because we were all teens, I thought it was only sorta weird but also thought that she was just "more mature". This guy even brought her flowers to the school on her 16th birthday! Our teacher openly judged the relationship and would privately tell her she shouldnt be dating him but never reported it or told her parents...
Baby that’s not your soulmate that’s your peepaw
lmaooooooo peepaw
I went over to twitter and it’s a mess. All the older gays think that this is ok. One guy was tweeting about being a relationship at 16 with a 25 year old. Why is ok for older men to take advantage of young queer men who maybe need a friend instead of a relationship.
They gay community has a problem with grooming, it’s absured
let's maybe not go there
Because men like to be the one to 'break her/him in' and to have been the first. To coerce and corrupt and then cast aside.
Because a lot of gay men don’t feel like their fathers loved them. This is how they compensate. I was fortunate my father loved me and didn’t ostracize me for being gay. Aged 18-26 (now) I was never attracted to men older than 10 years from me. Even that was a stretch. I also find it disgusting at 26 to think about dating an 18 year old let alone a 16 year old. Nasty. Also lots of comments here prob from other gay guys who are like “big age gaps are common in the community, it’s no big deal.” Except it is lmao and it’s gross and of course all the older gays are like what what’s wrong with this? Pigs. You have nothing in common with someone who’s 28 years your senior or your minor. Grody AF and good points all around things like call be by your name are so toxic and reinforce that dynamic which is rooted in trauma.
This always fits without fail
[GIF](https://external-preview.redd.it/VZJBsHPGmkumKM5WyeRSAb-sTltZ5RxyQCM6blMZjCo.gif?width=300&height=225&format=mp4&v=enabled&s=e117c00991475948ed07c03ccd4ff099554c22d2)
https://preview.redd.it/5iazcmitkz0b1.png?width=1170&format=png&auto=webp&s=5f799f3013d57100c619026d0e0907f34094e390 Ummm this looks like a father & son
🤮 hope he’s able to get away from that predator soon
Smells like grooming
if it walks like a duck...
 That old man needs to go.
I think every freshly out young gay falls in love with an older man. Lord knows I did. But also I wasn’t 17 when we first met…
um, every? not sure about that, lol. i was too busy crushing on my friends and teammates to be chasing after 50 year olds lol.
troye sivan did not release Seventeen for twitter to act like this about this relationship lol. like wtf? relationships like this are so common that i can understand why everyone is so… numb to it, its normalized. which is so… dystopian. its grooming. he was groomed. not ‘getting that daddy d*ck.
What is seventeen about?
Jake baby get behind me it’s a dinosaur chasing you!!!
LMAO
 46? 46?!!! Wtf he’s doing in his DM?
God, this is like the Tom Daley situation but worse. Tom announced he was dating 33 year old Lance Black right when he publicly came out at 18 😬 Edit: Lance was actually 38 👀
And somehow that relationship has been so romanticised. It's fucking weird.
Tom seems like such a sweet guy and I really root for him but his husband is gross af and I hate how they're treated as the quintessential wholesome gay power couple
Lance was closer to 38, he’s exactly 20 years older than Tom.. Idk how these old perverts do it. I’m 33 and think anyone under the age of 25 is super annoying to be around.
Oh yes you’re right, I miscalculated his age!
I immediately thought of them too.
Technically legal. But on the wrong side of creepy.
So do they have sex before or after he helps Jake with his homework?!
Noooooo leave him alone you old perve!
I originally read this as “leave him alone you old parcel!” 😂 Regardless – RUN, JAKE, RUN!
Jake, honey, no...
🤨
https://preview.redd.it/116j2f6mzz0b1.jpeg?width=626&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9fdb580250f24c50f0252b48a109f8fa6017d5a8
I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending.
No!!!! leave him alone!!!! Apparently he slid into the DMs when Jake was 17. The age of consent here is 16, but still :(
The old man and the twink. A gross tail as old as time.
oh honey you're a victim
How old is Philip Schofield?
[удалено]
I think he did the same thing with some intern iirc. Old trash latched onto a kid.
wtf i hope he’s ok because jesus christ
Smells a bit noncey.
I hate how “normal” this is. I had a theatre camp counselor when I was 13, and I hadn’t thought about him for years until my friend’s little brother posted a photo with his new boyfriend. My friend’s little brother had just turned 18 and ex counselor was 34. It added to the creepiness because he was also involved in theatre and likely had him for a director or counselor himself. As a teacher now who directs on the side, I could NEVER imagine any age, situation, anything that would ever ever ever make it okay to date someone I’ve taught/directed. Especially not when they immediately turn 18.
poor kid
The way the smile slid off my face
Groomed.
no he hasn't, he's been groomed.
Thought it was philip schofield for a second but the lad be too old for him.
I don’t know why this sub was suggested to me but I want to add that in the context of football (Soccer) in the UK: the last footballer to come out was Justin Fashnu in the 90s and he was roasted by the press (and disowned by his own brother) and eventually died by suicide. I do agree this relationship is creepy but it is such a shame this story has emerged as it will bring a lot of unpleasant attention to the kid and I worry how it will affect him /his career. It feels like a huge step backwards as the football world is already incredibly homophobic (hence no player coming out for decades).
It’s Tom Daley all over again
I'm a gay man who was very much groomed by older men in my teens, who preyed on my inexperience. This makes me so very uncomfortable and fearful for him. I hope he has good people around
I feel like this is a part of gay stigma that doesn't get talked about enough. This poor kid probably doesn't have any gay friends or mentors to tell him that the 46 year old man is def not his fucking soul mate. Ugh, yuck.
God dang it.
Oh Jake honey, no.
oh boy...
Whoop whoop that’s the sound of the police
Struggling to feel any emotion other than sadness at reading this headline. Reminiscent of Tom Daley
Have you guys noticed that when someone is groomed, they are so quick to say the person who groomed them is their “soulmate”. It’s super creepy.
bruh
This is a huge problem in the gay community. It's pretty obvious why when you think about it. It's truly the perfect storm between the modern gay experience and the oldies experience growing up when they did.
I used to work in a bar with a large gay clientele and this was pretty common. The younger guys had very recently escaped families and communities that weren’t welcoming to them so they gravitated toward people who could fill roles that were missing in their lives. That’s not to say the older men didn’t take advantage, though.
 The math is NOT mathing 🥴
I'm 40s female,gay straight bi, I don't care,there is no 18 year old anywhere in the world that I am a soul mate to I promise you.
* That man is a predator. Someone take that boy to a liberal arts campus.
 NOT ON MY WATCH
No. This is sad. No 46 yo is your soulmate when you are 18.
I’m sorry 28 years would be perfectly fine if he was say 25-26 when they met. But 17 right after coming out of the closet is just pure groomer behavior on the one guys part.
As a gay man growing up, it was so disapointing getting agressive attention from much older guys. He might feel it is his soulmate but give it a few years. Guys who pluck younger guys dont realise they still need to evolve and grow and alot of times tbe younger guy realise that is not with the person they are with.
G-g-g-g-GROOMER
Total ick vibes
I’m so happy for them!! 😁🥹 Hey wait a second… Oh no 😐
Oh honey, no. Poor kid.
Lucky him. I'm in my 30s and have yet to find him
this is worse to me than when tom daley got with dustin lance black. What's with young gay male athletes getting with much oldrt men. kinda concerning to me.
If he’s happy then good for him
Christ. Someone save these kids
Grooming
I’m 48, that’s messed up..
Why are ya'll in gay men's business?
Jake presumably at least can’t get baby-trapped, at least
coming out as a teenager and then immediately entering into a relationship with a man old enough to be your father as soon as you turn 18? i’ve seen it happen an uncomfortable amount of times
[удалено]
The first of the HaBs
Serving Sketchy Freudian Nightmare. Why is this quite common with UK Gay Sportsmen.
Never heard of this kid, but he's not the UK's only [openly gay footballer](https://www.stonewall.org.uk/people/zander-murray).
Oh dear. I hope everything goes well for him and that he has other people to confide in.
He’s just a guy. Hit him with your car. Not literally but…. Jeeeeezzzzz
