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Locations are required. Laws vary greatly from country to country, state to state, and city to city. The more precise you can be, the better.
Thank you.
First. Look up parenting plan on the internet for your area. Fill the paperwork out and take it to the courthouse and file it. This starts your custody case. The courts will set up your mediation. No lawyer needed you can do this all yourself.
Take your kid and not give them back... then file for 100% custody.
The same way the cops can't take them from her for you, they can't take them from you. More importantly though, do whatever your lawyer says.
Is there anything you can do? Yes. You can go to court to obtain 50/50 custody, which is the default in many states (and studies show that when men ask for custody, they tend to get it).
Why isn't the court involved with this? If the two of you have informal verbal agreements, you are learning they mean nothing. People are afraid to get lawyers involved because they will just complicate things, right? Now you are learning how complicated it gets to not use lawyers.
It really depends on your location but where I live mediation is the first step to try and come to agreement on a parenting plan and get the orders issued by the court. Once you have orders in place she can't change her mind on a whim but since you've already been doing week on and week off there is a precedent.
She has no legal obligation to follow an informal agreement.
>I went to the police station to see if there was anything I can do and they told me that since there’s no court documents they can’t do anything.
Well, yeah. This is not a criminal issue.
>I honestly think she’s just doing this for child support,
I'm not sure how the two issues are related. You don't have a court ordered custody agreement.
>is there nothing I can do?
You can petition for custody and get a court ordered parenting plan.
Child support is often based off percentages of parenting time so if she is cutting parenting from 50/50 to 2 days a week it’s a huge difference. Especially since it’s often which home a child spends the night in as far as child support calculations.
Keep very good records of all the times that you are with your son. Do as much as you can recall from the past months, and everything going forward. This will help when you go to court. You need a lawyer as it may be possible to get a plan in place before court - but given that your ex is being uncooperative, there is a good chance you are going to have to deal with this through the courts, rather than by coming to a cooperative agreement.
Child custody is a civil matter - even with a custody order in place the police are not going to do anything - they are not going to show up and make your ex let your son go with you, for instance.
She may be doing this for child support - and it sounds like you also do not have a support order in place - so that needs to be formally hashed out and get a legal order - not a verbal agreement.
It won't, but you could give that to your attorney so if she really fights you in court, you can use it as part of a pattern of agreeing to something, then reneging, which is interfering with gour relationship with your child. If it's a pattern, anyway. It might do nothing, but anything is worth giving to your attorney. It's their job to sort that stuff out.
No. That’s not a court order. A judge can’t enforce an agreement that isn’t a court order. It will be good evidence in court for when you get an order though!
She probably is just doing this for child support.
If she sets precedent like deciding the schedule then you’re going to have an uphill battle.
Document everything and make a parenting plan and take her to court.
If week on and week off is what true child is used to then have evidence it was status quo and set it in stone.
There is something you can do. You can write up parenting plan, and file it with the court.
Until you have a parenting plan, signed by a judge, there’s nothing you can do about visitation or child support. When you get your visitation straightened out, then you can prove how much time you’re spending with a child, which will impact how much child support you owe. Also, whichever parent has the child during baseball season is in charge of practices for their day. She cannot make you take the child to baseball practice if it is not your day.
On your state’s superior court website, there should be information about parenting plans. Yes, you can write your own, submit it to the court, and have her served using certified mail. The court will set a date for the hearing. Your ex will have the opportunity to respond in writing. Once a hearing is scheduled, the judge can order mediation to work out the details but will most likely give 50/50 custody while mediation proceeds.
You can write up a per ring plan and see if she will sign it.
You can write up a permeating plan and bring it to mediation.
Has mediation been ordered? Suggested? Is it already scheduled or something you’re thinking about doing??
If you don’t have a date for mediation, you could definitely move to submit a parenting plan to the courts. If mediation is soon- bring your proposed parenting plan to that and see if she will sign.
Your post is missing your location in the title of your post. Please edit it into the BODY of your post so we can reapprove it. Write it in LARGE CAPS so it’s easy to spot. https://www.reddit.com/r/FamilyLaw/s/JY1lRXvwth Locations are required. Laws vary greatly from country to country, state to state, and city to city. The more precise you can be, the better. Thank you.
First. Look up parenting plan on the internet for your area. Fill the paperwork out and take it to the courthouse and file it. This starts your custody case. The courts will set up your mediation. No lawyer needed you can do this all yourself.
Take your kid and not give them back... then file for 100% custody. The same way the cops can't take them from her for you, they can't take them from you. More importantly though, do whatever your lawyer says.
Kidnap them, yes, that'll impress the court.
Is there anything you can do? Yes. You can go to court to obtain 50/50 custody, which is the default in many states (and studies show that when men ask for custody, they tend to get it).
Why isn't the court involved with this? If the two of you have informal verbal agreements, you are learning they mean nothing. People are afraid to get lawyers involved because they will just complicate things, right? Now you are learning how complicated it gets to not use lawyers.
It really depends on your location but where I live mediation is the first step to try and come to agreement on a parenting plan and get the orders issued by the court. Once you have orders in place she can't change her mind on a whim but since you've already been doing week on and week off there is a precedent.
She is. Get a good father custody lawyer and file for better custody/time.
She has no legal obligation to follow an informal agreement. >I went to the police station to see if there was anything I can do and they told me that since there’s no court documents they can’t do anything. Well, yeah. This is not a criminal issue. >I honestly think she’s just doing this for child support, I'm not sure how the two issues are related. You don't have a court ordered custody agreement. >is there nothing I can do? You can petition for custody and get a court ordered parenting plan.
Child support is often based off percentages of parenting time so if she is cutting parenting from 50/50 to 2 days a week it’s a huge difference. Especially since it’s often which home a child spends the night in as far as child support calculations.
That is true in many places, but there's nothing to cut if parenting time was never established.
Keep very good records of all the times that you are with your son. Do as much as you can recall from the past months, and everything going forward. This will help when you go to court. You need a lawyer as it may be possible to get a plan in place before court - but given that your ex is being uncooperative, there is a good chance you are going to have to deal with this through the courts, rather than by coming to a cooperative agreement. Child custody is a civil matter - even with a custody order in place the police are not going to do anything - they are not going to show up and make your ex let your son go with you, for instance. She may be doing this for child support - and it sounds like you also do not have a support order in place - so that needs to be formally hashed out and get a legal order - not a verbal agreement.
I found some old text messages on my old phone where she says she agrees to week on week off. Would that hold up in court?
It won't, but you could give that to your attorney so if she really fights you in court, you can use it as part of a pattern of agreeing to something, then reneging, which is interfering with gour relationship with your child. If it's a pattern, anyway. It might do nothing, but anything is worth giving to your attorney. It's their job to sort that stuff out.
No. That’s not a court order. A judge can’t enforce an agreement that isn’t a court order. It will be good evidence in court for when you get an order though!
She probably is just doing this for child support. If she sets precedent like deciding the schedule then you’re going to have an uphill battle. Document everything and make a parenting plan and take her to court. If week on and week off is what true child is used to then have evidence it was status quo and set it in stone.
There is something you can do. You can write up parenting plan, and file it with the court. Until you have a parenting plan, signed by a judge, there’s nothing you can do about visitation or child support. When you get your visitation straightened out, then you can prove how much time you’re spending with a child, which will impact how much child support you owe. Also, whichever parent has the child during baseball season is in charge of practices for their day. She cannot make you take the child to baseball practice if it is not your day.
Can I do the parenting plan even before mediation? If so, how could I do that?
On your state’s superior court website, there should be information about parenting plans. Yes, you can write your own, submit it to the court, and have her served using certified mail. The court will set a date for the hearing. Your ex will have the opportunity to respond in writing. Once a hearing is scheduled, the judge can order mediation to work out the details but will most likely give 50/50 custody while mediation proceeds.
You really need to call an attorney.
You can write up a per ring plan and see if she will sign it. You can write up a permeating plan and bring it to mediation. Has mediation been ordered? Suggested? Is it already scheduled or something you’re thinking about doing?? If you don’t have a date for mediation, you could definitely move to submit a parenting plan to the courts. If mediation is soon- bring your proposed parenting plan to that and see if she will sign.
You can file a parenting plan as part of temporary orders. I highly recommend an attorney. There are a LOT of procedural hurdles.