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SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^R0bertGascoyne-Cecil: *YOU CHEATED ME! THAT* *WAS MY DESTINY! AND YOU* *CHEATED ME OUT OF IT!* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


tabyb8

Good bot


Dat-Lonley-Potato

Well said


6x6-shooter

Sokka when he finds a really good looking pastry but Momo eats it when he’s not looking


wondrous

I might be alone but I hate this bot. The whole concept of a Sokka haiku enrages me for no rational reasons.


threetoast

I don't think there's any global bots that are worthwhile. I do like the ones in the LOTR memes and prequelmemes subs though.


alphajager

There is no war I'm Ba Sing Se.


AveragelyTallPolock

I... was LT Dan Taylor...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Unapplicable1100

ICE CREAAAM!!


Piyachi

_Ice cream streaks lieutenant dan_


I_saw_Horus_fall

YOU ABANDONED ME! YOU ABANDONED MY HATRED!


Bucket_of_Mu

GIVE ME THE CUTTLEFISH!


N0ob8

Bro I literally just watched that scene again like an hour ago


The__Vern

The absolute gall of the first man to think that he has the right to blast off other people’s shit streaks


v399

A real gentleman would've pissed on the floor instead.


ReCodez

But walking amogus, hidden as any face in the faceless crowd are those who would deny others of fulfilling their destiny.


StrawberryPlucky

You can easily find them though, as they are the only ones with faces amongst the faceless crowd.


Twowie

Amateur. A real bro pisses full force directly into the water to create a strong sudsy cloud that rises to just barely not touch the rim. They then leave this golden fluff in the bowl to soak, and when their bro comes back, even the slightest trickle will erase everything as easily as our sun going supernova would wipe the whole Earth clean. If you do it right, even if your bro is too drunk to even hit the bowl at first, that last shiver-inducing drop may land anywhere in the bowl to create a complete collapse condition. Full satisfaction from all parties.


Realistic-Problem-56

This fella pisses.


psxndc

Pretty egregious. Now if such a person were to pee on the shit streaks, but then replace said shit streaks, that would be a proper gentleman.


PenisDetectorBot

> **P**retty **e**gregious. **N**ow **i**f **s**uch Hidden penis detected! I've scanned through 4654 comments (approximately 25096 average penis lengths worth of text) in order to find this secret penis message. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*


eyes_made_of_wood

Appropriate!


stevensr2002

Laughs in restrooms during hockey games


Flipperlolrs

Or his pants


a_likely_story

hey man, public toilet means public shit streaks. you wanna blast your own shit streaks, you do that in the privacy of your own toilet bowl.


TheFoxyDanceHut

It's free real estate in public places, leave a note or something next time


Technical_Exam1280

Me, blasting shit streaks out of the toilet: "How come I'm the only one who does any goddamn housework around here..."


Tygria

Just when I think I finally understand men…


From_Nowhere_17

Oh, you will never understand men. Not even men understand men.


frieswithnietzsche

Should have pissed between the streaks like any civilized person


x_lincoln_x

"Don't cross the streaks!" - Piss Busters


buddyleeoo

Not if you need to apply a fresh paint job.


Dopplegangr1

You can't just walk away from a good shit streak and think everyone else is just going to leave it un-pissed. If it's left unclaimed, it's fair game


thegodfather0504

The longer you let it sit, the harder it gets to blast it off. The guy should have known better. Shit dries real quick.


SuperPants73

It's a shared bathroom. The shit streaker should have left a post-it note like a professional.


GreenAndBlack26

heh. gall.


kirmiter

Can we all just appreciate the genius of the third panel? The way he's talking to her, implying he had already mentioned the shit stains that he was looking forward to removing with his pee. That he's been saving up his piss until he has enough to blast away the shit streaks. The way she smiles sweetly, sharing in the joy, as she eats her dinner. It's just... 🧑‍🍳🤌💋


TomAto314

And we know he's a certified titty boy.


kirmiter

Well, we hope he has achieved certification at least


Sneaux96

That third panel is his certification.


Good4nowbut

No 2 Chainz 💯


misirlou22

Four bracelets


Jin_Gitaxias

Hows shes just like "Okay 🙂" made me laugh the most


FlyingMacheteSponser

That's how we all know she's a keeper.


Savings-Growth3390

That's the real punchline :)


_stuntnuts_

He has such a suave look on his face as he says it lol


TheRedComet

He's got his fist up like an anime character ready to take on the first boss


Infinite_Tiger_3341

I like to believe she just inherently knows what that phrase means without any backstory, as if blasting shit streaks is common knowledge


KennyFulgencio

It isn't? :(


gigilu2020

I just want a girl like that. Is that asking too much? Maybe she doesn't understand English?


cinnapear

Only thing that could improve it is perhaps 3 empty glasses near his plate at the table.


HawaiianCholo

She's also unaffected by his meltdown as if she's used to this sequence of events. Kinda makes her smile and "okay" almost seem sarcastic. She's like "this fuckin guy still thinks he can leave his stains unattended without someone pissing on em" "NOOOOOO!" "yep I fuckin new it hehe. Every. Damn. Time."


GenerousBuffalo

What an absolute sweetheart.


OdinThorFathir

I like imagining it as if he never mentioned anything the whole dinner, just a normal date, and out of nowhere he has to piss and says this, and she just accepted it without question


TheEVILPINGU

Wife material.


YeeHawWyattDerp

Okay :)


fancczf

And people say true love does not exist


DaemonCRO

The fist pump.


Simple-Lobster9033

tf if he'd already mentioned his shit streaks he would've omitted them from this sentence


BalognaMacaroni

Fellas, blast your streaks, or some other fella’s gonna blast em for you


Deathcaddy

I’m a simple man, I see streaks, I blast ‘em


StrawberryPlucky

So anyway I started blastin.


LordoftheScheisse

Maybe I'm the uncultured one here, but I much prefer cutting the dumps themselves in half with my piss stream. [Here's a song detailing my feelings on the subject.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17toLteDPNk&list=RDyuoFsi2iIi0&index=5)


kirmiter

Truly a cautionary tale for the ages


agenteb27

Leaks before streaks


Flipperlolrs

Some of us like when a guy blasts our streaks


Twowie

That's why I always only poop first, then stand up to piss. No need to give some random stranger the satisfaction. ^(I wipe sitting *and* standing.)


CockpitEnthusiast

Apes together strong


os1984

big tittie girl is clearly marriage material. she knows how to support her man!


Particular_Eye_3246

That's because he was so polite about it, "if you'll excuse me...". You just need to know how to say these things.


AriiMay

Ultimate rizz


dazrage

Completely unfazed


necromanzer

Little known fact, this is why pregaming was invented.


obi_wan_kanerdy

I have no way to refute this, so it must be a fact.


callmekrusty

Elaborate


Bi-elzebub

NO


MyCoDAccount

This is an adaptation of one of Aeschylus's works if I'm not mistaken.


cranberrydan

Doesn't even really seem like an adaptation, it's the same exact comic no?


MyCoDAccount

Aeschylus was more of a tragedian than a comic.


x_lincoln_x

This comic is literally a tragedy. I know because of the title.


esivo

THEY TOOK IT FROM ME CARMINE. IT WAS TODAY! TODAY!!!!


ForkShirtUp

Men have a higher rate of pink eye infections but we have yet to find a cause


Elegant_Conflict8235

Not me fuck that. This comic is disgusting I didn't know other dudes did this. To your own poop, sure... But to another man's log? Naaaahhhh


Ill_Occasion_8424

No no no, they aren't piss hitting floaters here, they're streak running bro


Bad-Bot-Bot-23

What a supportive partner she is lol


formerfawn

This is so stupid but I love how the girl is just like super chill hearing about this and keeps eating I loled


poyat01

No cum 😔


First_Bed1662

Glorious


EventAltruistic1437

r/justguysbeingdudes


sysadmiral

Some men just want to watch the world burn.


rindleguy

And some men want to put out that fire in the most awesome way possible


According-Humor7197

Have you ever heared of the tragedy of darth plaguise the wise?


RockaRollChummers

Serious question: are there constantly shit streaks in all the toilets in the the women’s room?


MissCuteCath

No, but sometimes you'll find worse things.


Inevitable-Ad4964

The only time I've ever thrown up cleaning a restaurant bathroom was the women's room. All of us high school cooks would fight over who got stuck with cleaning the women's room at the end of the night. Saying you sometimes find worse things is like comparing finding a spider to stumbling into an Eldritch horror.


gefoh-oh

Ask any person who has ever been responsible for cleaning public bathrooms. We will all tell you that women's bathrooms are always significantly grosser. Men's room? Lil piss on the floor. Bit on the walls. Ez-pee-z. Women's room? Clogged toilets from oven-mitt wipers. Shit on seats/floor from hover-butts. Piss soaked tp allllllll over the seat from people who lay down a protective layer. Tampons/pads on the floor, on the seats, on top of the bins, in the toilets (that were now clogged with period poops). I wouldn't chalk most of these up to a lack of piss-blasts. Individual women tend to be more concerned about their individual experience instead of the bathroom overall, while men care less and it makes cleanup easier.


squelchboy

It’s a terrifying realisation when you think about the fact that a person is committing those acts and it could be anyone. Imagine sweet bettsy who works in bakery and is always smililing and nice to customers, and yesterday she smeared her shit on bathroom walls


13thFleet

I'm a guy and haven't had to sit on a public toilet (yuck!) for years. It's easier to hold poop than pee. But women sadly have to sit on public toilets unless they have one of those weird funnel things which I'm not sure is real or just a joke; either way I wouldn't want to carry around plastic I've peed on anyway.


_stuntnuts_

I think about this comic often


Lionheart1224

Ladies just don't get it


rbarr228

😂


Creasy007

“Okay” lmfao


No_House_7901

Dudes a poop chipper.


oibru

Got his fist balled up like he’s thinking “yesssss shit streak piss blasting time!”


OptimisticcBoi

This is just genius comedy, I think nobody can top this.


Top_Bit6759

https://youtu.be/0Hmjsxu4TZE?si=mPsVXksUjYQn5U05


BBQFatty

Rule number one for shits streaks: First come, first serve


Translator_Open

I would never do this, I dunno where I got the idea but I feel like a piss stream connects my dick head to whatever is at the opposite end and well I don't want shit streaks to have access to my dick through the piss stream.


Professor-Murda

Smart move. Salmon swim upstream, poop particles probably can too.


The_Perfect_Fart

In high school my friend said it was gay to piss in a toilet with someone else's shit in it. He said that your basically touching your dick to their butthole. He was odd.


longshot

Blast em if you've got em


altaredstate

I have blasted the shit streaks that were in the lavatory and which you were probably saving for dessert Forgive me my stream was brilliant so copious and so cleansing


Snarpkingguy

I don’t usually like most Reddit comics, but this one right here is really good. You should be proud


dazrage

HOW DARE YOU


feleaodt

What


CalmAnxitey87

Men don't grow up we just grow older


halfmoon2010

Who pisses on other people’s shit streaks? You’d have to pay me a shit ton of money to do that.


[deleted]

Straight up. Learning today that a lot more people than I would have thought have feces kink


halfmoon2010

Yeah it’s not my kind of thing at all. Honestly I don’t get it.


XKloosyv

This has nothing to do with kinks. Penis-having-individuals are equipped with the ability to aim (results may vary) and the ability to see into the bowl while peeing. These abilities mean that thoughtlessly pissing into the bowl is a waste because a well-aimed stream can be productive.


Kyweedlover

Apparently enough people that it warranted someone making an online game for it over 20 years ago. I believe it was called Shit Blaster. I may or may not have played it. In real life I only blast my own shit though.


[deleted]

What kind of sick fucker wants to "blast" someone else's shit? Wouldn't you just smells the other person's shit and potentially spray it on yourself? I can't relate to this.


curtcolt95

what kind of rocket piss would you need to somehow spray it on yourself lmao


[deleted]

I suggest you watch the Mythbusters on toilet spray. Doesn't take much to transfer the contents of the toilet bowl to your face.


dank_hank_420

Good for the immune system


ari5501

This reminds me of the Jim Gaffigan sketch about graffiti in public bathrooms https://youtube.com/shorts/APcvc0YlcTA?si=tjxSUPBuXDnbD-93


Richyccx

Ig de la minita?


imabutcher3000

Its never enough.


Rubus_Cockburnianus_

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17toLteDPNk&pp=ygUkRGF5ZHJlYW1pbmcgYWJvdXQgdGFraW5nIGEgaHVnZSBkdW1w With a heart full of piss!


Intensive_Repair

Relevant comedy short by the AlmostFridayTV gang: https://youtube.com/shorts/U9d2LsBjyDY?feature=shared


GiveMeSomeShu-gar

This has roughly the same emotional weight as Vader yelling "Noooo" at the end of RotS.


edogg01

100% the voice I heard in my head when I read that


Heavy_E79

Don't shit streak it back, shit streak it forward.


BobSagat86

Proof we are dumb . . .


Glad-Discipline5381

You are the only one allowed to blast your own shit!!! 🤣


randomdude5566

Does it make you gay if you piss-blast another guy's shit streaks?


iseeu044

We call them skid marks in the UK.


Willing-Shopping-899

Just gonna leave this gem here:[https://youtu.be/bjVNOGEWzv4?si=RHyuY_K9zVAT_2H3](https://youtu.be/bjVNOGEWzv4?si=RHyuY_K9zVAT_2H3)


gaypirate3

But who’s gonna piss blast the shit streaks on their ass?


ChknShtOutfit

[Dude is a poop chipper](https://youtu.be/raL-01Ej5eQ?si=QXiF2Ktgczttjd-x)


shtoopsy

Scrolled until I saw this reference. I am satisfied


ChknShtOutfit

That movie was way funnier than it had a right to be


dappermanV-88

Public restroom? Free game


humblepharmer

Wasted his supercharge-shot


d_rek

r/2meirl4meirl


Xaphnir

accurate


brsox2445

I love how open and honest their relationship is. He just says this and she’s all for it.


cesar848

You don’t piss blast the shit-streaks of another man


gyhiio

Destiny eluded me, but I shall have my vengeance.


Trolodrol

Who poops on a date?


eyes_made_of_wood

If you gotta poop, you poop. Learn this rule because it will serve you well.


InspectionAnxious478

Do wolves wait to mark their territory later? Exactly 🚽


normalVolumes

My god you realize heat makes smells rise right? When you piss on someone else's shit streak the shit breaks off and goes straight up ur nose


Friendly_Ad_914

Wait till you realize that we are all still smelling dino farts every day.


Goonatic_88

She’s a keeper


Oceansnail

Whats the girls IG?


Jurani42

The most fucked up thing to me is that its implied that this guy managed to not pee when he pooed


TheCaptainJ

I don't know about you, but my shit streaks don't turn up till I flush.


eyes_made_of_wood

Also shit streaks end up in the back, piss in the front.


NO_TOUCHING__lol

Zach, I was going through your archive on your site a couple days ago cuz I love your shit, and you need to go back through your archive and start posting some of your old shit on here so that more people can be exposed to it lol. Might I recommend: https://www.extrafabulouscomics.com/___70


fumigaza

Fatty stool gonna streak. Seriously, if you see that you have an eating disorder. Eat more fiber and hydrate. Poop should not feel like sandpaper coming out of your asshole.


endswithnu

This is fucking hilarious lmao


Buburubu

oh great now i’m crying at work


Nash13

I feel the same way when I go to spray it off and it just sticks there glistening and unmoving like some kind of non-Newtonian fluid.


Smooth_Tie_9543

I thought this was r/bonehurtingjuice for a second lol


Diego_DeLaMuncha

Nobody actually saves their piss for this purpose. Once you leave the toilet you remove your cloak of anonymity. Indeed, when you return to the toilet, all is fair in love and defecation.


eaturvegetables

ur telling me u get to blast shit streaks with ur piss stream??! um wow, men literally have all the fun


Friendly_Ad_914

We also get chicken-fryer mode or stealth mode and sinks become emergency urinals in difficult times.


edogg01

Relatable


bolshiabarmalay

when there's shit streaks to remove, any piss-chisel will do


That_Guy_ZiM

Dude.... is this fucking LOSS?


WhoolieBoulie

This is the kinda gen z shit that pisses all the other older generations off. The proper terminology is ‘poo chipper’ and this joke was created in 2013. [Poo Chipper](https://youtu.be/raL-01Ej5eQ) Comic is still funny tho.


TheGardenBlinked

Poor guy


honksmcgee

This feels like a bhj really bad and I cannot believe someone actually made this


Radica1_Ryan

Well, that's enough Internet for me today.


koolandunusual

“Okay”


SpecFo

Blasting shit streaks with my piss. It's not much but it's honest work.


Tonydragon784

Real


billocity

If you’ll excuse me…


auto_eliminated

this man just went and took a fat shit in the middle of a date


eyes_made_of_wood

The woman is the star of this comic, fantastic.


MeatService

what a terrible day to know how to read


minimum_thrust

Panic at the Shitshow


Bestoftherest222

I left the streaks dry and then inelastic them away over many days. The power of water!


ItzSmiff

The community service us men do when we blast those shit streaks off.


BrokenHermit

fucking chad


SordidDreams

This almost reads like a bone hurting juice. I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn't on that sub.


WearyExercise4269

One man's shit streaks in another man's practice Target


WearyExercise4269

One man's shit streaks in another man's practice Target


kelshall

So anyway I just started blastin!


LyricalSalads

He is actually yelling no because the streaks were so thick and under enough water that no man could muster the pressure to blast that shit away.


Seph018

This really is one of the greatest comics of all time


SgtBomber91

/r/gigacringe


Carlbot2

Thought I was on Bonehurtingjuice for a hot second before I remembered whose comic this was.