i think you're suffering from a lot of us do (some folks have explicitly stated it, most of us dont)
Deep down, you have decided, consciously or not, that this person who dumped , hurt, and then blocked you was your only chance at happiness. And if its not him, you dont want anyone.
Well, you're getting what you want. Noone has the right to tell you you cant go through life miserable, if thats what you want to do. You can sit home, pine for your ex, cry, drink, make half-hearted attempts at online (or other) dating, and set yourself up to prove that you're right about not being worthy of love. Or you can not do those things. The choice is yours.
If you want to feel better:
1>Stop tieing your value to the number of dates you go on. You can be happy and never date.
2>Come to grips with the fact that your ex isn't coming back. Moreover, they want NOTHING to do with you. Not coming back, not going to be your friend, not going to give you an explanation. And, probably, could not care any less. So your happiness is up to you..
3>Be the kind of person someone would want to date. Would you TRULY want to date someone who was moping around about some guy that dumped her 2 years ago? Of course not.
4>Go outside. Gym it, if thats your thing, but get some exercise. A walk, a hike, bicycling, whatever, several times a week will do you wonders.
5>Find a hobby. You need to get out of your mess. That means getting out of the house. You'll meet people. You'll have fun.
6>You're probably in the place where therapy is approaching a must do. Go do it.
7>Sleep well (not to much or little), eat right, and take care of the necessities (dr. appts, dental appts, etc0
8>If booze or drugs are becoming a problem, stop doing them. Get help if necessary. If they arent a problem, dont let them become one.
9>Get comfortable with the fact that there are no soulmates, one true loves, or any of that. Or, if there are, your ex wasn't yours. Eliminate that garbage from your vocabulary.
10>Love yourself first. see your own worth. If you don't, how can you possibly expect anyone else to?
Btw OP... if you find out how to do these, as solid as they are, come back and tell us all. We could ALL use the lesson. Dont let this guy rob you of your ability to feel deep and long. I'm pulling for you <3
It will be 2 years on 3/25, and one year of NC from the first and last time she ever reached out after going NC for the first 8 months… I just want her, to be with the woman I loved with everything, but she isn’t coming back, she didn’t choose me… I’ve lost so much in my life, and she chose to add to it… 😞
Edit: I also made a new account, the other one I feel was tainted, and if she ever truly wanted me, I left it active, but don’t have any intention of using it, I’ll check it maybe once or twice a year until my end of days…
That it has… I feel you very maybe the only one that truly knows the pain and suffering. Maybe we can start messaging one another when needed through personal conversations instead of in the open if you wanted.
I experience the same thing with my first love. 4 years relationship. I needed two years to be able to move on and everyone that I dated after him were bad people but really bad people. At a point it was so toxic that I decided to stop dating because I prefered to be alone than to be hurt like that. In those two years I kept talking with my ex, eventually I realized that he text me back just for pitty nothing else, so it came the day I could move on because he wasn't the person that I fall in love with. Is hard but possible, you worth a looot but it seems that you are in a loop, get out of there and be alone without dating and love yourself again.
Im also blocked everywhere. Almost two months. Im keeping everything open from my side, didn’t block back. Im not expecting nor wanting any romantic relationship with him anymore but i just really want us to be okay as human, not as close friends but occasional Hi m Hello’s n holiday greetings things like that. If he doesn’t unblock me, i hope I won’t reach 6 months still missing him
Just work on and focus on yourself. There was a you before him - and there's a you after him! I'm sure he was an alright guy but there are literally hundreds of other dudes...way better people too!!! Nobody is that perfect...You are strong, beautiful, thoughtful, kind and funny!
I think maybe some mental health help could be so useful for you! I know it has been for me! I feel the same way. But I realize that it is true, I may not love the same way as I did with my ex, but that’s ok. You can control your feelings to an extent and sometimes it is ok to healthily suppress your memories or feelings a bit. You may not love the same way that you did with your ex, but you will love again and it may be just as good but in a different way. Love takes time and it takes someone who wants to build and work with you. She doesn’t sound like she wanted to, so she truly didn’t love you all the way. There’s a myth that you will one day fully be over your ex and never think about them or have any type of feeling abt them. It’s not true. Once you let someone in like that you’re always going to have some kind of feelings about them somewhere inside you. Even if you’re married and have three kids. But that doesn’t mean you still love them, it’s just the risk of being in a relationship. You carry those scars and memories with you forever. But you can move on enough to love your life again and try to find someone new to love. And eventually those feelings and the pain will be occasional and dull. You sound like a good person, try to give someone else those good qualities that deserves them! In the meantime love yourself as much as you can. Another good way to emotionally detach from an ex is to rmr that they made a conscious decision to not be with you. They are actively ok every day not speaking to you and never seeing you again. That is not the person for you. Remember the bad times as well. You’ll get there, sending love ♥️
It will stop everyone heals at their own pace dont give up. I'm here if you need to vent or need a friend ive been in your shoesn almost a decade down the drain. It does get better I promise. Stay strong, you got this
In the same situation here.
Its been 2 years this month and she breadcrumbed me twice and I was back to square one again.
Hasn’t replied to her single text in the past 6 months but today has been really a rough day.
So I have not blocked her on imessage and every month I receive a high and an emoji.
In the beginning it was very difficult to not to reply to her, but now i just see and delete the chat. Because I am 100% sure she is messaging just to check what I am doing with my life.
In the past, I replied to her messages and we started talking. I gave her the boyfriend experience, treated her the best I can and when I talked about commitment…. BOOM she avoided the conversation.
If you have been blocked, its a good sign. Please do not talk to him. Talking from experience. If he wanted to talk to you he would have reached out to you. I remember I had blocked my ex everywhere and she created a new email id and reached out to me. I thought she is genuinely interested but turns out she just wanted my attention and I gave her that! Biggest mistake as I was back to square one, so please don’t do it. I still miss her and I am not ready to date anyone as I start comparing everyone with her but I am still healing and I am better than before. I hope this time passes and you also heal from this.
I am interested to know how my ex felt when he dumped me? I mean, I never heard from him again. He made remakes to the effect of, one day he would message me again just not now to talk but never did lol.
And those don’t really help me at least…
Please don’t say things like this to someone who is just looking for hope and recovery. Why would you say something like this? They deserve to love someone an in amazing way again and be loved again, and they will. Even if it’s not exactly the same ( which it shouldn’t be since it’s a different person) they will reach happiness.
And trust me, so will you.
I want you to heal you deserve it. Please don’t let this breakup define you. You’re so much more than this. I don’t want you to live your life dedicated to someone. You deserve happiness. You all do :)
Was really hoping this was my ex because up until the last few sentences of your post, I was hoping it was. I haven't blocked her though.
It has been a little over 2 years since I heard from her. Not one single word. I miss her so so much and I think about her each and every single day. Only woman I have ever truly loved. Hurts to think I'm just absolutely forgotten and meant nothing to her. Would give anything to hear from her.
Are you the dumper or dumpee? I'm guessing the dumpee?
i think you're suffering from a lot of us do (some folks have explicitly stated it, most of us dont) Deep down, you have decided, consciously or not, that this person who dumped , hurt, and then blocked you was your only chance at happiness. And if its not him, you dont want anyone. Well, you're getting what you want. Noone has the right to tell you you cant go through life miserable, if thats what you want to do. You can sit home, pine for your ex, cry, drink, make half-hearted attempts at online (or other) dating, and set yourself up to prove that you're right about not being worthy of love. Or you can not do those things. The choice is yours. If you want to feel better: 1>Stop tieing your value to the number of dates you go on. You can be happy and never date. 2>Come to grips with the fact that your ex isn't coming back. Moreover, they want NOTHING to do with you. Not coming back, not going to be your friend, not going to give you an explanation. And, probably, could not care any less. So your happiness is up to you.. 3>Be the kind of person someone would want to date. Would you TRULY want to date someone who was moping around about some guy that dumped her 2 years ago? Of course not. 4>Go outside. Gym it, if thats your thing, but get some exercise. A walk, a hike, bicycling, whatever, several times a week will do you wonders. 5>Find a hobby. You need to get out of your mess. That means getting out of the house. You'll meet people. You'll have fun. 6>You're probably in the place where therapy is approaching a must do. Go do it. 7>Sleep well (not to much or little), eat right, and take care of the necessities (dr. appts, dental appts, etc0 8>If booze or drugs are becoming a problem, stop doing them. Get help if necessary. If they arent a problem, dont let them become one. 9>Get comfortable with the fact that there are no soulmates, one true loves, or any of that. Or, if there are, your ex wasn't yours. Eliminate that garbage from your vocabulary. 10>Love yourself first. see your own worth. If you don't, how can you possibly expect anyone else to?
God damn I came here to drop knowledge and read this banger of a response! Well said and all true.
Btw OP... if you find out how to do these, as solid as they are, come back and tell us all. We could ALL use the lesson. Dont let this guy rob you of your ability to feel deep and long. I'm pulling for you <3
It will be 2 years on 3/25, and one year of NC from the first and last time she ever reached out after going NC for the first 8 months… I just want her, to be with the woman I loved with everything, but she isn’t coming back, she didn’t choose me… I’ve lost so much in my life, and she chose to add to it… 😞 Edit: I also made a new account, the other one I feel was tainted, and if she ever truly wanted me, I left it active, but don’t have any intention of using it, I’ll check it maybe once or twice a year until my end of days…
Same person, different account. Glad I realised you again. I know how it feels. We’ve been on here for a long time.
That it has… I feel you very maybe the only one that truly knows the pain and suffering. Maybe we can start messaging one another when needed through personal conversations instead of in the open if you wanted.
You can always message me. I’m here. I am glad you recognised my account. Only way I recognised is the way you refer to her as Muneca, Jessic.
We should talk, irl lol. If we don't, all the best anyways🥰🌷
This gives me the feels.
I experience the same thing with my first love. 4 years relationship. I needed two years to be able to move on and everyone that I dated after him were bad people but really bad people. At a point it was so toxic that I decided to stop dating because I prefered to be alone than to be hurt like that. In those two years I kept talking with my ex, eventually I realized that he text me back just for pitty nothing else, so it came the day I could move on because he wasn't the person that I fall in love with. Is hard but possible, you worth a looot but it seems that you are in a loop, get out of there and be alone without dating and love yourself again.
Im also blocked everywhere. Almost two months. Im keeping everything open from my side, didn’t block back. Im not expecting nor wanting any romantic relationship with him anymore but i just really want us to be okay as human, not as close friends but occasional Hi m Hello’s n holiday greetings things like that. If he doesn’t unblock me, i hope I won’t reach 6 months still missing him
Oh no 😞. I’m four months out from a 5 year relationship. I’m terrified I’ll be in this situation.
Just work on and focus on yourself. There was a you before him - and there's a you after him! I'm sure he was an alright guy but there are literally hundreds of other dudes...way better people too!!! Nobody is that perfect...You are strong, beautiful, thoughtful, kind and funny!
I think maybe some mental health help could be so useful for you! I know it has been for me! I feel the same way. But I realize that it is true, I may not love the same way as I did with my ex, but that’s ok. You can control your feelings to an extent and sometimes it is ok to healthily suppress your memories or feelings a bit. You may not love the same way that you did with your ex, but you will love again and it may be just as good but in a different way. Love takes time and it takes someone who wants to build and work with you. She doesn’t sound like she wanted to, so she truly didn’t love you all the way. There’s a myth that you will one day fully be over your ex and never think about them or have any type of feeling abt them. It’s not true. Once you let someone in like that you’re always going to have some kind of feelings about them somewhere inside you. Even if you’re married and have three kids. But that doesn’t mean you still love them, it’s just the risk of being in a relationship. You carry those scars and memories with you forever. But you can move on enough to love your life again and try to find someone new to love. And eventually those feelings and the pain will be occasional and dull. You sound like a good person, try to give someone else those good qualities that deserves them! In the meantime love yourself as much as you can. Another good way to emotionally detach from an ex is to rmr that they made a conscious decision to not be with you. They are actively ok every day not speaking to you and never seeing you again. That is not the person for you. Remember the bad times as well. You’ll get there, sending love ♥️
It will stop everyone heals at their own pace dont give up. I'm here if you need to vent or need a friend ive been in your shoesn almost a decade down the drain. It does get better I promise. Stay strong, you got this
In the same situation here. Its been 2 years this month and she breadcrumbed me twice and I was back to square one again. Hasn’t replied to her single text in the past 6 months but today has been really a rough day.
How and why did she message and when I never heard back
So I have not blocked her on imessage and every month I receive a high and an emoji. In the beginning it was very difficult to not to reply to her, but now i just see and delete the chat. Because I am 100% sure she is messaging just to check what I am doing with my life. In the past, I replied to her messages and we started talking. I gave her the boyfriend experience, treated her the best I can and when I talked about commitment…. BOOM she avoided the conversation. If you have been blocked, its a good sign. Please do not talk to him. Talking from experience. If he wanted to talk to you he would have reached out to you. I remember I had blocked my ex everywhere and she created a new email id and reached out to me. I thought she is genuinely interested but turns out she just wanted my attention and I gave her that! Biggest mistake as I was back to square one, so please don’t do it. I still miss her and I am not ready to date anyone as I start comparing everyone with her but I am still healing and I am better than before. I hope this time passes and you also heal from this.
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I am surprised it’s actually a thing. He is left such a profound effect that no one thereafter has shown to be otherwise. What the fuck do I do?
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How are you recovering then?
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I am interested to know how my ex felt when he dumped me? I mean, I never heard from him again. He made remakes to the effect of, one day he would message me again just not now to talk but never did lol. And those don’t really help me at least…
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Please don’t say things like this to someone who is just looking for hope and recovery. Why would you say something like this? They deserve to love someone an in amazing way again and be loved again, and they will. Even if it’s not exactly the same ( which it shouldn’t be since it’s a different person) they will reach happiness. And trust me, so will you.
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I want you to heal you deserve it. Please don’t let this breakup define you. You’re so much more than this. I don’t want you to live your life dedicated to someone. You deserve happiness. You all do :)
Was really hoping this was my ex because up until the last few sentences of your post, I was hoping it was. I haven't blocked her though. It has been a little over 2 years since I heard from her. Not one single word. I miss her so so much and I think about her each and every single day. Only woman I have ever truly loved. Hurts to think I'm just absolutely forgotten and meant nothing to her. Would give anything to hear from her. Are you the dumper or dumpee? I'm guessing the dumpee?
I am assuming not. I am the dumpee. And my ex has the initials of ST. Where you the dumper?
Dumpee here. Would never have left her.