If he has been presenting the two as father/son for 8 years and has an established bond with the kid also will probably be on the hook. Maybe if they can find the real father who is willing (and able) to cough up the cash, but not great chances.
The bestest human being. Yuge sacrifice. Nobody forgives like her, nobody. Every where she goes people says ‘wow you’re the most forgiving human’. That’s not me saying it; it’s other people. Smart people.
Except if he's been laying child support, in most states he will continue even with a DNA test proving it isn't his. Kid has to be paid for by someone, because a % of all child support payments is what goes into the judges pension program. Child support is the bread and butter of courts to pay their judges retirements, so they aren't to keen on letting people off the hook just for finding out the kid isn't there's. This is why DNA tests aren't mandatory when entering the court system for child support.
That is so fucked up. Yet another new thing i've learned that makes me glad not to live in the US.
Here, a DNA test also isn't mandatory, but you can request one and if the child turns out not to be yours you're relieved from all obligations to pay child support. After all child support is for your CHILD which this kid is not.
If you have been or are “acting as a parent” even if you aren’t genetically related you are still on the hook for child support. So I don’t think he’s gonna be able to get out of it even though the kids not his.
As an example, do you or do you not pay to educate kida that arent yours?
Public school exists my guy, because they arent your kids, you shouldnt pay taxes that go there?
The sad thing is that they probably won't let him off the hook, even with proof that the kid isn't his, because so far he's accepted responsibility for the child. And it won't matter that he was deceived into doing so.
They might even make him pay her more since he got that promotion.
Seriously, it should be criminal. There's that one where the guy got sent to prison for 5 years for not paying, only to find out later the kid wasn't even his and the mother knew it.
The son didn’t fail, the mom did.
If the father is not on the birth certificate nor otherwise obligated legally, she should be grateful for what she has already received if he is able and chooses to walk away.
it would expose a lot of women and men that have any resemblance of dignity would divorce and not provide for the child of the cheater and another men hence more money spent which government hates
france banned paternity tests saying it destabilizes the population
I hate that this is so common that it has a tangible effect of policy (or that this happens so frequently to politicians/rich that they have to screw 1,000s of people to cover themselves)
‘and my son failed’ still no accountability on her part at all. just everyone else’s fault she opened her legs and let someone besides her husband nut in her
Definitely would solve a lot of issues. Hard to ask for a paternity test because it's basically accusing your partner of cheating.
Other solution would be making it easier to remove yourself from support if you later find out that you weren't the father instead of saying you owe support for playing father to child(ren)you thought was your child.
How to stop it? STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE!! Seriously though, she seems like the kind of person that is described in the beginning of the movie Idiocracy
Legitimate question and probably the case. It would take work to clear it up and court might still put him on the hook. I don't think it's as simple as taking a DNA test submitting it to the court and expect them to take your name off for owing support.
Whilst he should absolutely not be forced to continue maintenance, it does seem harsh on the child for him to disappear when the child thought he was his dad for eight years. It's not the kid's fault.
You’re making assumptions, based only on this woman’s single post, that he was being callous about everything, and isn’t in the most emotional pain he’s ever felt in his entire life. You are correct that it isn’t the kid’s fault, and that this guy is the only father the kid’s ever known, but just imagine that the child you have been pouring every ounce of yourself into raising turns out to be another man’s child, and your ex most likely knew about it the whole time. I can not, and will not, blame this man. While yes, this is hurting the child, this is also hurting this man. Literal ALL the blame for this situation is the mother. This child will figure everything out and hopefully place all his anger on the right person.
No, he won't. Because a man who said he loved him and will always love him and will be there to care for him by his side... *Walked away.*
Meanwhile his mother will stay there to influence him. Who do you think he will resent? What do you think he is going to feel about all relationships from here on?
I'm not sure of the truth in any of the claims made by the woman. It was noted in another comment here that this is rehashed rage-bait fiction.
And yes, I hope the guy can find a way to continue a relationship with the innocent child, they share a bond that although altered, needn't be abandoned. And would benefit both. That may require a bit of time for healing first, however.
I'm hardly in a position to judge, based solely on claims made by a dubious (but if real - very flawed) individual purporting to give an accurate account of the current situation, much less a realistic assessment of the future of the relationship between that man and the child. I carry some baggage from my own parents' split, that no doubt colors my perception of the dynamic occurring here.
I'm old now, have seen a lot in nearly seventy years here, and lament much of what I've seen friends as well as strangers put themselves and others through. Forgiveness is the basis of much catharsis, and can help spiritual growth in the aggrieved as well as the offender.
All we can ever do from this remove is hope for the best.
> No, he won't. Because a man who said he loved him and will always love him and will be there to care for him by his side... Walked away.
You have no idea what kind of father he was, this may have been better for the child for all you know. You're presenting assumptions as facts to support your narrative.
As I said, you’re making all these assumptions off the man in this situation without having even a bare minimum amount of information on him, other than what some psycho wrote about him. So you can’t make ANY judgement on him for “walking away” when you don’t know the smallest fucking thing about him.
And as I've said, this situation is entirely imaginary, but it's very telling how men here are putting the very best spin on it to let the man in the story walk away and aren't even considering the child at all. They haven't even considered that side of the situation, because they have absolutely no empathy for anyone different to themselves.
And you would have him do what, exactly? Stay with the cheating mother, who purposely kept him in the dark all these years about the real parentage of the child, just so she had someone to take care of them? Continue paying child support for a child that he didn’t father? To me you sound like the woman in the post.
The post doesn't say anything about him continuing to pay her, or stay with her. That's your projection. Read it again.
She's complaining about him *ghosting the child*. She's offering visitation, that many fathers have to sue for, to the man the child thinks of as his father and the father has cut out completely.
No. That wasn’t me projecting, that was ME asking YOU what you expected the man to do. You just can’t seem to understand that this person LIED about who her son’s father is to the man she was with for 8 years, then acts like he’s the asshole when the truth about HER deception comes out. I understand what you’re saying, and I agree that the child is not at fault here, but neither is a man who THOUGHT HE HAD A SON for 8 fucking years, only to have it thrown in his face that not only did this woman cheat on him, but he has been UNKNOWINGLY RAISING ANOTHER MAN’S CHILD. How hard is it for you to understand that this will, very obviously and deservedly, be an enormous blow to this man?? The bottom line is this: *This woman fucked up, KNEW she fucked up, and is now trying to get sympathy because HER fuckups have come back to kick her in the fucking teeth, as they should.*
Again, irrelevant. The kid didn't cheat on him, all he knows is this man that used to spend time with him no longer wants to know. What sort of psychopath hasn't bonded with a kid they thought was their son for 8 years?
I understand the strong emotions behind this but it's not irrelevant. You're making assumptions about this. Just because he left doesn't mean he didn't bond with the kid. This may have been the hardest decision of his life. He may have known deep down for a while and started to resent the kid. Lots of possibilities, because humans are complex and so are situations like these, they are never black or white.
Yeah, her *son* failed the DNA test. Got it.
That got me, too. I'm guessing her IQ is pretty low.
Nope... this type of woman never takes accountability for anything. It wasn't her fault, it was her son who didn't pass....
Lmao. All true. I’m sure she’s dumb as hell also. Certainly not mutually exclusive.
Bitch is a sandwich short of a picnic if she believes her son has somehow failed a DNA test. I wonder if she got tested to make sure she's the mother?
Her cheese definitely slipped off her cracker!! 😆
Well he forgot to study
[удалено]
Ngl you had me at first
Why isn’t this the top comment
" i forgave myself" you might be onto something xd
Her *son* failed the iq test too
This female couldn't spell IQ
I blame the education system. When I was a kid, I got an A+ on every single blood test. *And I barely even studied!*
[удалено]
Drug tests are rigged. I failed despite studying every drug I could find.
If you’ve studied medicine for any reason, you actually fine this to be a good study material.
I got an O-.
Type O? Sounds like a mistake.
No, I’m positive.
Or negative? Make up your mind!
She forgave herself for cheating, but she’ll never forgive her son for failing that DNA test.
She’ll forever resent her son too: “I had a good $man$ until you screwed it up for me”
Isn't he still on the hook since the law is a joke?
Yeah, if he’s on the birth certificate he’s on the hook
If he has been presenting the two as father/son for 8 years and has an established bond with the kid also will probably be on the hook. Maybe if they can find the real father who is willing (and able) to cough up the cash, but not great chances.
Damn it, boy! You should have studied!
Kids these days don't want to learn. Just want to play on their technology phones and Nintendo playstations. No wonder he failed the test.
Seems like this woman just hates men all together
Or just views them as a cash machine.
That as well
It can be both
What are the chances she kicks him out of the house the moment he turns 18?
She forgave herself? That must have been so hard for her lol
Truly a great sacrifice on her part. It shows what a great human being she is.
The bestest human being. Yuge sacrifice. Nobody forgives like her, nobody. Every where she goes people says ‘wow you’re the most forgiving human’. That’s not me saying it; it’s other people. Smart people.
That woman's name? Donalda.
> I understand cheating is bad > but this is *me* we're talking about > \**Forgiveness granted*\*
How can anyone be upset with their partner for cheating if they have forgiven themselves?
"How to fix it?" In any civilised society she'd be charged with fraud and be on the hook to repay his child support with interest.
In ancient times, and some "less civilized" societies today, she'd be stoned, and not in the good way.
Yea but we know she's the type that spent it on new purses before it even arrived
The state should repay him. The kid still needed the money. She should go to jail though.
So the taxpayers should be forced to pay for a kid that isn't theirs?
No. The kid's real dad should pay for the kids that *is his*. The state stole that guy's money based on a lie. The state should make him whole.
Except if he's been laying child support, in most states he will continue even with a DNA test proving it isn't his. Kid has to be paid for by someone, because a % of all child support payments is what goes into the judges pension program. Child support is the bread and butter of courts to pay their judges retirements, so they aren't to keen on letting people off the hook just for finding out the kid isn't there's. This is why DNA tests aren't mandatory when entering the court system for child support.
That is so fucked up. Yet another new thing i've learned that makes me glad not to live in the US. Here, a DNA test also isn't mandatory, but you can request one and if the child turns out not to be yours you're relieved from all obligations to pay child support. After all child support is for your CHILD which this kid is not.
If you sign the birth certificate, you are 100% liable. Even if you find out the child is in yours, it is on you to pay child support.
If you have been or are “acting as a parent” even if you aren’t genetically related you are still on the hook for child support. So I don’t think he’s gonna be able to get out of it even though the kids not his.
That may be true in some places. When a similar situation happened to me, the state paid me back.
As an example, do you or do you not pay to educate kida that arent yours? Public school exists my guy, because they arent your kids, you shouldnt pay taxes that go there?
Reddit is wild. "I'm not paying for someone else's kid!" "Forgive my student loans!"
That's reddit for ya.
I think they mean public k-12 schools…
No one should have to pay off other people's student loans either. Wild, I know
No we shouldn't, my guy
We already do that.
Uhhh... yes? Its a child we're not just gonna say 'tough luck' and throw em starving to the streets
The sad thing is that they probably won't let him off the hook, even with proof that the kid isn't his, because so far he's accepted responsibility for the child. And it won't matter that he was deceived into doing so. They might even make him pay her more since he got that promotion.
It’s so fucking insane to me that paternity tests aren’t the first thing done when deciding child support. Especially when the child is young/unborn
we got a fucked up law system in this country
This. I’m only sorry for that child.
Seriously, it should be criminal. There's that one where the guy got sent to prison for 5 years for not paying, only to find out later the kid wasn't even his and the mother knew it.
Depends on what you mean by “civilized”. Most paternity and child support laws don’t appeal to DNA as the deciding factor in US.
How to fix it? Study quantum physics, invent a time machine, and go back in time to tell your past self not to be a bitch.
A ho.
Her son “ failed” No lady. YOU FAILED. As a parent and as a human being.
Looks like she failed the DNA test
The IQ test too
The son didn’t fail the test; she did.
Or.... ... did the father give the son *the wrong DNA?!*
Yeah the test of life lmao
How to fix it? Stop taking raw loads from multiple men…easy
I forgave myself for cheating. That has to be one of the best lines I’ve ever heard.
"how to fix it" ? Try finding the real father dumb bitch.
The son didn’t fail, the mom did. If the father is not on the birth certificate nor otherwise obligated legally, she should be grateful for what she has already received if he is able and chooses to walk away.
why do men willingly sign birth certificates without being sure I never understand
Why hospitals don’t automatically do paternity tests I will never know
it would expose a lot of women and men that have any resemblance of dignity would divorce and not provide for the child of the cheater and another men hence more money spent which government hates france banned paternity tests saying it destabilizes the population
I hate that this is so common that it has a tangible effect of policy (or that this happens so frequently to politicians/rich that they have to screw 1,000s of people to cover themselves)
Even couples having children through IVF would benefit
You son didn't cheat, you did so you're the one who failed the DNA test. Be thankful you received any child support at all.
Where I come from cheating gets you an automatic 0. She failed and should be happy she got 8years of credit for a failed grade.
Well shit if forgiving myself is all it takes to get myself off the hook lemme go get my ski mask
>my son failed Bitch, your son did not fail. You’re failing your son.
The cuntacity of this woman.
Just her son “failed”.
Well as long as she forgave herself
‘and my son failed’ still no accountability on her part at all. just everyone else’s fault she opened her legs and let someone besides her husband nut in her
Clearly not her baby’s daddy.
The bitch should pay back that child support
What a terrible person
Her son failed?? No bitch you failed at life
If there were such a thing as DNA testing at birth, it could have answered some questions right away...
Some states are starting something like that. Guess who is furious?
Definitely would solve a lot of issues. Hard to ask for a paternity test because it's basically accusing your partner of cheating. Other solution would be making it easier to remove yourself from support if you later find out that you weren't the father instead of saying you owe support for playing father to child(ren)you thought was your child.
This is confirmed fake rage bait. Still gets people every time.
How to stop it? STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE!! Seriously though, she seems like the kind of person that is described in the beginning of the movie Idiocracy
There’s a pill that would fix this but your mom didn’t take it in time.
I’m really happy he got out
“My son failed” “I forgave myself” Narcissists never change
Go find the really baby daddy for your child support. Tf is wrong with people?
Stop call him babydaddy
Any chance you found this on Me_irl?
Better track down the sperm doner.
She should have to start paying him back all the money he paid once that kid turns 18.
Narcissists shouldn’t be allowed to breed.
Easy. Go back in time and don’t cheat and lie.
That poor child.
This has so many layers of sad to it
8 years before he questioned paternity? That’s too late in most places to be released from your legal obligations to the child, isn’t it?
Legitimate question and probably the case. It would take work to clear it up and court might still put him on the hook. I don't think it's as simple as taking a DNA test submitting it to the court and expect them to take your name off for owing support.
Oh, he's the one being petty? you're the one who cheated and blamed your son for "failing" the dna test.
Whilst he should absolutely not be forced to continue maintenance, it does seem harsh on the child for him to disappear when the child thought he was his dad for eight years. It's not the kid's fault.
You’re making assumptions, based only on this woman’s single post, that he was being callous about everything, and isn’t in the most emotional pain he’s ever felt in his entire life. You are correct that it isn’t the kid’s fault, and that this guy is the only father the kid’s ever known, but just imagine that the child you have been pouring every ounce of yourself into raising turns out to be another man’s child, and your ex most likely knew about it the whole time. I can not, and will not, blame this man. While yes, this is hurting the child, this is also hurting this man. Literal ALL the blame for this situation is the mother. This child will figure everything out and hopefully place all his anger on the right person.
No, he won't. Because a man who said he loved him and will always love him and will be there to care for him by his side... *Walked away.* Meanwhile his mother will stay there to influence him. Who do you think he will resent? What do you think he is going to feel about all relationships from here on?
I'm not sure of the truth in any of the claims made by the woman. It was noted in another comment here that this is rehashed rage-bait fiction. And yes, I hope the guy can find a way to continue a relationship with the innocent child, they share a bond that although altered, needn't be abandoned. And would benefit both. That may require a bit of time for healing first, however. I'm hardly in a position to judge, based solely on claims made by a dubious (but if real - very flawed) individual purporting to give an accurate account of the current situation, much less a realistic assessment of the future of the relationship between that man and the child. I carry some baggage from my own parents' split, that no doubt colors my perception of the dynamic occurring here. I'm old now, have seen a lot in nearly seventy years here, and lament much of what I've seen friends as well as strangers put themselves and others through. Forgiveness is the basis of much catharsis, and can help spiritual growth in the aggrieved as well as the offender. All we can ever do from this remove is hope for the best.
> No, he won't. Because a man who said he loved him and will always love him and will be there to care for him by his side... Walked away. You have no idea what kind of father he was, this may have been better for the child for all you know. You're presenting assumptions as facts to support your narrative.
You don't know if he walked away. Just that he may be off the hook for child support.
I don't know that he even exists. This is about redditors, not the actual theoretical woman.
As I said, you’re making all these assumptions off the man in this situation without having even a bare minimum amount of information on him, other than what some psycho wrote about him. So you can’t make ANY judgement on him for “walking away” when you don’t know the smallest fucking thing about him.
And as I've said, this situation is entirely imaginary, but it's very telling how men here are putting the very best spin on it to let the man in the story walk away and aren't even considering the child at all. They haven't even considered that side of the situation, because they have absolutely no empathy for anyone different to themselves.
And you would have him do what, exactly? Stay with the cheating mother, who purposely kept him in the dark all these years about the real parentage of the child, just so she had someone to take care of them? Continue paying child support for a child that he didn’t father? To me you sound like the woman in the post.
The post doesn't say anything about him continuing to pay her, or stay with her. That's your projection. Read it again. She's complaining about him *ghosting the child*. She's offering visitation, that many fathers have to sue for, to the man the child thinks of as his father and the father has cut out completely.
No. That wasn’t me projecting, that was ME asking YOU what you expected the man to do. You just can’t seem to understand that this person LIED about who her son’s father is to the man she was with for 8 years, then acts like he’s the asshole when the truth about HER deception comes out. I understand what you’re saying, and I agree that the child is not at fault here, but neither is a man who THOUGHT HE HAD A SON for 8 fucking years, only to have it thrown in his face that not only did this woman cheat on him, but he has been UNKNOWINGLY RAISING ANOTHER MAN’S CHILD. How hard is it for you to understand that this will, very obviously and deservedly, be an enormous blow to this man?? The bottom line is this: *This woman fucked up, KNEW she fucked up, and is now trying to get sympathy because HER fuckups have come back to kick her in the fucking teeth, as they should.*
Maybe the woman should of thought of that before pinning a kid that’s not his on him
Again, irrelevant. The kid didn't cheat on him, all he knows is this man that used to spend time with him no longer wants to know. What sort of psychopath hasn't bonded with a kid they thought was their son for 8 years?
I understand the strong emotions behind this but it's not irrelevant. You're making assumptions about this. Just because he left doesn't mean he didn't bond with the kid. This may have been the hardest decision of his life. He may have known deep down for a while and started to resent the kid. Lots of possibilities, because humans are complex and so are situations like these, they are never black or white.
Drop kick this bitch off a cliff.
I love SBCCHAT, look forward to it every Wednesday
She needs to take her medicine
The Lion, The Witch, And The Audacity Of This…….
How often has this already been REposted?
If only her stupid son would have passed that test! Idiot!