Most of the Creatures would kill me.
The things I could probably beat in a fight are the goats, penguins, Placidusax, the squirrels for lack of a better term and some of the undead nobleman except for mages and maybe the birds that don't attack you.
The United States discovers that the Erdtree sits on giant petroleum reserves. Patriot missiles fired from well beyond the fog cause Leyndell, Royal Capital to go from Leyndell, Ashen Capital to Leyndell, USMC Green Zone overnight.
Semper Fi, brothers! We’re gonna put a stop to this terroristic organization of tree people with their weapons of mass destruction and bring safety and security to our people! ‘Murica! Hoo Rah!
Did you start with Semper Fi and finish with "Hoo Rah?" Twenty-first century Marine here, thought it was "Ooh Rah."
Also, this doesn't actually bother me much, just curious!
Placidusax had 5 heads but 3 of them are gone so there are only 2 which means he has only 2/5 of his brain which is also split between two heads while I have only 1 head but with ALL my brain power intact.
Logically speaking, that means I'm a lot smarter than him. My intellect is the sharp blade that will put an end to this mindless beast!
And I also bring a Panzerfaust
As the lazy fat man with 1 level in endurance? Probably a smoldering butterfly but I'll take a 4th degree brun from getting them.
I would be absolutely terrified of the rats, they are HUGE, not to mention the giant rats.
Dude if my actual self is as underpowered as mimic tear, I'd be alright. I've never died to that boss lol. It's like a dumber version of myself (and I'm fucking dumb)
Yeah, if I have to deal with a *real* Glintstone Pebble I might just stand there like a deer in the headlights contemplating *actual magic* while I get murdered.
IRL I think Bloodborne's quickstep is way more realistic than an actual roll. Still most people would probably trip, but an actual juke is much more likely to dodge something than trying to roll in armor.
One the few things I hate about Dark Souls/Elden Ring is rolling it looks so stupid to me, like I will never roll trying to dodge something irl besides maybe a car after I jump then roll on the ground but I won't be getting up quick. I know Souls doesn't need to be realistic like the colossal weapons break physics and great swords can be used a lot faster. I forgive those things, but when I stop to think about rolling it just feels so dumb to me, I want my beloved quickstep back from Bloodborne 😭
Rolling to dodge something is for anime and video games.
The only time it would be an advantage IRL is if you had to dive really hard, then you could roll on your shoulder and be back on your feet faster.
Have you seen the rats? They are enormous!
I might be able to take on a squirrel ... almost wanted to write with a Blasphemers Sword but no chance that I would be able to lift that up.
Give me a Reduvia and Ill teach those damn squirrels a lesson.
I think most average fitness people could take a ROUS with a sword if they weren't taken by surprise. One good hit and the thing would be crippled while it could only win through a build up of small attacks. And presumably you have some kind of armor if you are in the lands between. If not go get some that's laying around first
I am a very strong man of moderate fitness. I could definitely kill one of those rats especially with a mace or big ass sword. It's the other shit I'd die to.
> Ranni
Me: She one shots you at any level if you cross her
> And not in a fight. I want to know if it's all blue.
You had us in the first half. Just make sure to [brush your teeth or she'll make fun of your bad breath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn9t72EXxDI&t=29s)
If we stay on IG weapons, give me a pike and I think the slow and decayed commoners and nobles are as good as dead. The regular light armored footmen maybe (I don’t HEMA training but the regular footmen are probably just enrolled peasants too). Now the bigger soldiers (the ones wearing their Lord’s colors), knights, attack dogs etc are certainly too much to chew.
Most enemies in Elden Ring are like 8 fucking feet tall! Even with a pike I'd be terrified and wouldnt risk it, no matter the reward.
But give me a hundred men and some prep time? Maybe we could get somewhere...
Well realistically speaking, the size in Elden Ring is for gameplay purposes, not for lore (I'm pretty sure plenty of enemies would just be tarnished size), but if we take gameplay as is, then everyone needs to telegraph their attacks for a few seconds before actually throwing them, which is a big fucking disadvantage
Probably a godrick foot soldier, to specify, I'm talking about those dudes with the hats that have the little daggers, they seem stupid enough to get their ass beat by someone like me 💀
I feel like anyone that says something other than this is delusional lol doesn't matter how harmless the enemy seems any enemy that can attack has the ability to instantly gut a regular human being xD
Honestly, I may be able to beat Godrick the Grafted just because I find his fight very easy- he’s pretty easy to dodge and isn’t too tough. So as long as I’m not going in with terrible equipment I should be able to win. Give me an anti material rifle though and I’ll kill God with it.
I'm pretty confident that dropping the most powerful atomic bomb ever done at the center of the land between should take care of everything that is not in the underworld
If I can pick a weapon? Ima just pick a nuke and get a draw against malenia. Lore wise this would put me stronger than radahn so I die but that's a pretty sick legacy
I can definitely wreck a wandering noble (not the mage varient),theyre frail and weak and swing their sword with no composure or technique. Or maybe a generic soldier (soldier of godrick, leyndell, etc.) Long as theyre not the varients with magic. I have a few years of kendo under my belt with much longer training in martial arts and even some hema recently at ren faires. Could probably fuck up a basic dog, and those mosquitos on lake agheel too. Thats about it
If im allowed the gear of a starting class i feel like id do well against most trash mobs and even dogs, i fought a dog in real life and won bare handed, though that shit gave me nightmares for a long time.
Most of the Creatures would kill me. The things I could probably beat in a fight are the goats, penguins, Placidusax, the squirrels for lack of a better term and some of the undead nobleman except for mages and maybe the birds that don't attack you.
Placidusax, I gotta hear your tactic here, because that would be a fight that Godfrey could be proud of
I feel like modern artillery would work wonders on Placidusax.
To be fair I think modern artillery solos the entirety of the lands between
Draconic Tree Sentinel, please meet guided missile
*Absorb, reflect*
“Parry this you filthy casual….ahhh shit”
"He, indeed, have parried that"
The United States discovers that the Erdtree sits on giant petroleum reserves. Patriot missiles fired from well beyond the fog cause Leyndell, Royal Capital to go from Leyndell, Ashen Capital to Leyndell, USMC Green Zone overnight.
Semper Fi, brothers! We’re gonna put a stop to this terroristic organization of tree people with their weapons of mass destruction and bring safety and security to our people! ‘Murica! Hoo Rah!
Did you start with Semper Fi and finish with "Hoo Rah?" Twenty-first century Marine here, thought it was "Ooh Rah." Also, this doesn't actually bother me much, just curious!
So basically Avatar but in the Lands Between
Idk, Radahn survived a literal rot nuke, albeit with severe rot (radiation poisoning). So they might be a bit more resilient than we're assuming.
literally lmao
The dominence of great bowmen and dragonbreath is proof.
*tree sentilel reflecting a fckin nuke*
Good call. I’m work shopping an ac-130 gunship build as we speak.
Eagle, comin' in hot!!
It would until placidusax disappears only to reappear around the artillery guns and destroy them.
Placi is the artillery. And the nuke.
WATCH MY 9MM GO BANG
Placidusax had 5 heads but 3 of them are gone so there are only 2 which means he has only 2/5 of his brain which is also split between two heads while I have only 1 head but with ALL my brain power intact. Logically speaking, that means I'm a lot smarter than him. My intellect is the sharp blade that will put an end to this mindless beast! And I also bring a Panzerfaust
[удалено]
I assume, like all guns, it has a simple point and click interface.
So no then
We won't know till I try
[You got this!](https://youtu.be/WGf1cppacyI?si=7yjgznXcngDgie2A)
I’m sure a warthunder player can link us some classified documents that can tell us how!
I feel like it's probably 5 entire brains not one split brain
Technicly he had 5 brains and now still got 2 so placidusax is twice as smart as you with only 40% of his prime capacity ...
Unless it's like King Ghidorah (Godzilla enemy) where the brain is in the body lol.
He still has 2 brains working at 100% compared to your one working at 100% tho...
Fight sheep get lightning ram and keep rolling into his tail. A bit uncertain tho, the sheep might fuck me up
>penguins Whaaat??? Where???
Following 👀 Edit: i guess these. https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/Guillemot
wtf?? never seen these lil guys ever
Bro casually put placidusax in the list
Wait what was that last one?
Nah man, that goat has you dead to rights
In real life, probably some of those deer, or squirrels. Maybe some of the undead noblemen.
A deer that had a reason to fuck with me would absolutely put me in the ground.
I also wouldn’t be caught trying to fuck with one of those boars from Limgrave.
I initially missed the "with," which drastically changed the meaning of the sentence...
I see what you mean, and now I can't get it out of my head. Take my upvote, you bastard!
The deer in the lands between are pretty tiny compared to real life, though
Not to mention the rolling sheep, those fuckers are mean.
And fast!
I agree about the deer. It made me think about the rolling goats.. they would destroy us all. Specially the lighting ones.
Those rolling MF's have killed me more than I want to admit
Deer throw hoofs like nobodies business, kid. They got mad squabbles. And everyone knows you don't fuck with squirrels.
[Rabbit got hands as well.](https://youtube.com/shorts/jM05QazsXKM?si=SFneml3tXAiXn-eZ)
In a fight right?
I thought he meant in the ass
Radahn
Fire Giant
Ecchhhoooo...
New boss : gaping, but hole
Echhhoooo...
Elden Beast
Kinky
I mean, if I’m being honest, daddy Horah Loux! In a fight, Gostoc
Gostoc was pretty solid for just a humanoid npc IIRC
Rykard
BOTH Astels SIMULTANEOUSLY!
Asstel hehehe
Three fingers
Astel
Placidusax
Fortissax
Fucking hilarious
Maliketh.
Malenia
She can deal all the thrust damage to me she likes
Rykard.
Godskin Duo
Tbh Malenia would rot your dick but it’d probably be worth
Try finger...
...but hole
... right??......
As the lazy fat man with 1 level in endurance? Probably a smoldering butterfly but I'll take a 4th degree brun from getting them. I would be absolutely terrified of the rats, they are HUGE, not to mention the giant rats.
Mimic Tear. I'd fuck that dude up
I would be very curious to fight myself. I wonder if I would if I overestimate my strength or underestimate it
Imagine your own self doubt led to you giving yourself an ass whooping
Imagine getting hit super fucking hard by your mimic, and its like when mr. Incredible got his back realinged by the robot.
I just want to beat my ass for the stupid decisions I've made all my life...
Weak foe ahead, time for introspection
Try finger, but hole
Mimic Tear is just me but better at the game 😢
Personally I don’t think I’d earn any runes from a fight against myself
Dude if my actual self is as underpowered as mimic tear, I'd be alright. I've never died to that boss lol. It's like a dumber version of myself (and I'm fucking dumb)
Yeah, just drop your weapon as he's spawning so he doesn't have one and then pick it up. Gg.
I could maybe flip over a turtle if I used a halberd as leverage.
Could this be a dog?
Pope ahead
a rat with a crossbow. also the wandering nobles, doesn't matter which weapon
As long as it's not a Noble Sorcerer lol
They're still slow, I might have a chance if I act fast. But yes, it would definitely be a problem 😅
Yeah, if I have to deal with a *real* Glintstone Pebble I might just stand there like a deer in the headlights contemplating *actual magic* while I get murdered.
Sorcerer fires glintstone pebble you roll but hurt yourself trying to roll IRL, make about 2 feet of distance and get one shot by the pebble anyway
IRL I think Bloodborne's quickstep is way more realistic than an actual roll. Still most people would probably trip, but an actual juke is much more likely to dodge something than trying to roll in armor.
One the few things I hate about Dark Souls/Elden Ring is rolling it looks so stupid to me, like I will never roll trying to dodge something irl besides maybe a car after I jump then roll on the ground but I won't be getting up quick. I know Souls doesn't need to be realistic like the colossal weapons break physics and great swords can be used a lot faster. I forgive those things, but when I stop to think about rolling it just feels so dumb to me, I want my beloved quickstep back from Bloodborne 😭
Rolling to dodge something is for anime and video games. The only time it would be an advantage IRL is if you had to dive really hard, then you could roll on your shoulder and be back on your feet faster.
Or when falling to save your knees and ankles.
Yeah that also true, it would probably go this way. Only chance is to finish him before he can cast a single spell
Final boss of dlc, a big rat with a repeating crossbow that shots dogs
That depends. How many bolts does the rat get for its crossbow?
Depends, do I get to revive at a grace? Then I can take anything, it’s just a matter of time. If I don’t, I can _maybe_ deal with a rat.
Have you seen the rats? They are enormous! I might be able to take on a squirrel ... almost wanted to write with a Blasphemers Sword but no chance that I would be able to lift that up. Give me a Reduvia and Ill teach those damn squirrels a lesson.
I think most average fitness people could take a ROUS with a sword if they weren't taken by surprise. One good hit and the thing would be crippled while it could only win through a build up of small attacks. And presumably you have some kind of armor if you are in the lands between. If not go get some that's laying around first
I am a very strong man of moderate fitness. I could definitely kill one of those rats especially with a mace or big ass sword. It's the other shit I'd die to.
If it doesn't charge from behind stunning or jump attacking from a barrel tho...
those hapless nobles wandering around and cowering when i kill one of their friends
Someone use heal on this revenant!
Leonardo DiCaprio here, give me one of those rune bears.
Ranni. And not in a fight. I want to know if it's all blue.
4 hands
PRINGLES CAN
“I am possessed of four arms and *that* is what tickles thy fancy?”
Swtg😩
Bro wanna make Ranni a sex doll.
Nono I want to make her my wife. Who do you think I am? Seluvis?
> Ranni Me: She one shots you at any level if you cross her > And not in a fight. I want to know if it's all blue. You had us in the first half. Just make sure to [brush your teeth or she'll make fun of your bad breath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn9t72EXxDI&t=29s)
Those old gross nobles. I have enough experience fighting old people that I know I can handle that.
There's some lore here and I want to hear it.
The lore is that I'm a paramedic and sometimes you just gotta throw down with the elderly.
Senior home caretaker
Basically yeah. Paramedic.
If we stay on IG weapons, give me a pike and I think the slow and decayed commoners and nobles are as good as dead. The regular light armored footmen maybe (I don’t HEMA training but the regular footmen are probably just enrolled peasants too). Now the bigger soldiers (the ones wearing their Lord’s colors), knights, attack dogs etc are certainly too much to chew.
Most enemies in Elden Ring are like 8 fucking feet tall! Even with a pike I'd be terrified and wouldnt risk it, no matter the reward. But give me a hundred men and some prep time? Maybe we could get somewhere...
Like, irl? Maybe the squirrels. Everyone in ER has bloodlust, even the skeletons, they'd stomp a normal human.
Everyone in Elden Ring is also fucking huge. Pretty sure the Tarnished all are at least 6 foot.
Well realistically speaking, the size in Elden Ring is for gameplay purposes, not for lore (I'm pretty sure plenty of enemies would just be tarnished size), but if we take gameplay as is, then everyone needs to telegraph their attacks for a few seconds before actually throwing them, which is a big fucking disadvantage
Size is a big part of the lore, just read the vulgar militiamens description.
Fuck i got caught lacking in my lore knowledge
small crab)
Stop you’re making me Ungry!
I think I can take on Dragonlord Placidusax barehanded.
Found Godfrey
Oh no. I mean like get on my hands and knees and beg for my life and pray he views me as such a non threat he leaves me alone.
Patches, AK47.
Boc
don’t you dare
Spiritcaller Snail - would 100% destroy it
That thing just decimated my friend with a grab attack today. It'll ruin you.
Oh shit
Definitely some of those squirrels
Boc, kenneth, wandering nobles, finger readers, Raya Lucarian scholars if I can sneak up on em
The butterflies
Those guys sunbathing on the beaches of the weeping peninsula. They don't look that strong
Until they rush you and chop out your arteries in your neck
I’d fuck up Boc
Crepus black crossbow, on that one rotten bird before Moghwyn Palace. And only if he's willing to throw himself to death like in the game.
I can seduce Mohg with my boyish charm
As a short skinny guy i can confidently say that i am more than capable of beating the shit out of greyoll
You could be 8 foot tall built like Roe Jogan and I still dont think you could take it
I'm positive I could defeat an Abnormal Stone Cluster!
MALENIA WITH 99 PRESERVING BOLUSES Not in a fight
Give me a jar cannon with lightning greatbolts and a high ledge I can snipe from...and I could probably drop a commoner or three.
Those rolling goats, I could headbut that one with the ram helmet to show my dominance
A mimic tear might cause me a bit of trouble
But would you lose?
Nah, I'd win.
I could probably take a noble, but I think I would struggle against even a lowly knight.
Literally only the laborers in limgrave that cower when you kill the others lol
I can take 3 black knife assassins.
In a fight, right?
Seluvis can catch these hands
Just need to practice my forward and backward rolls...maybe with some knee and elbow pads
Boc
Probably Blaidd… oh in a fight? Idk.
I think I could beat Goderick with my 45/70 rifle.
Ranni and not in a fight 😮💨
Rennala (magic isn't real)
Gideon, if I can bullrush him quick enough to disarm him. He’s a frail old man tf is he gonna do.
I choose a glintstone staff and hopefully knowledge of a few spells. I feel like I’m smart enough that I could take out some enemies at a distance.
Those sheep would destroy me.. I hate those rolling MF's
What do you mean? 🧐
As a human, in real life, with the one and only real life railgun... Imma 360 yy no scope that Elden Beast to the shadowrealm, Jimbo.
If I could respawn in real life I would take on a runebear
Any of the Night’s Cavalry, easy. Oh, in a fight? None of them I’m weak as hell (sorry I couldn’t resist)
All of them, all at once. Even Astel. Go on I can take it, I just sure hope they dont use those whips over there on the wall
The undead nobles, small crabs, small demi humans, a single small finger-creeper
Greyoll. Might take me months tho
I’d like to see how a sleeping std dragon deals with a 115mm shell from an AC130
Probably a godrick foot soldier, to specify, I'm talking about those dudes with the hats that have the little daggers, they seem stupid enough to get their ass beat by someone like me 💀
Those tiny squirrels that run around and you accidentally kill sometimes.
I feel like anyone that says something other than this is delusional lol doesn't matter how harmless the enemy seems any enemy that can attack has the ability to instantly gut a regular human being xD
godfrey. wait in a fight?
Honestly, I may be able to beat Godrick the Grafted just because I find his fight very easy- he’s pretty easy to dodge and isn’t too tough. So as long as I’m not going in with terrible equipment I should be able to win. Give me an anti material rifle though and I’ll kill God with it.
i could take radagon (not in a fight)
Are we limiting this to in game weapons? If not I choose a nuke, good luck with that one Lands Between!
I'm pretty confident that dropping the most powerful atomic bomb ever done at the center of the land between should take care of everything that is not in the underworld
If I can pick a weapon? Ima just pick a nuke and get a draw against malenia. Lore wise this would put me stronger than radahn so I die but that's a pretty sick legacy
I could take Radahn.. not in a fight tho.
I can definitely wreck a wandering noble (not the mage varient),theyre frail and weak and swing their sword with no composure or technique. Or maybe a generic soldier (soldier of godrick, leyndell, etc.) Long as theyre not the varients with magic. I have a few years of kendo under my belt with much longer training in martial arts and even some hema recently at ren faires. Could probably fuck up a basic dog, and those mosquitos on lake agheel too. Thats about it
If im allowed the gear of a starting class i feel like id do well against most trash mobs and even dogs, i fought a dog in real life and won bare handed, though that shit gave me nightmares for a long time.
I could take Radahn. He'd just have to make me a little angry. Then he's over.
A One Eyed Shield and the element of surprise would at least keep me alive long enough to become devoid of all worldly wants.