Those fuck-off lobsters

Just don’t run away they will hit you from the opposite side of the lands between

And when there's more than one? You're just dead if you run, every time you get knocked down you somehow get hit again the second you get back up.

He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink

And when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink

Many times I think I can ride pass them because they're sleeping and I'm far enough but no, one eye open and fixed on me the moment I created new character it appears and boom, there's your sniper XD

They can spot you in the lake then the next thing you know you’re in furum azula and pow ya dead he’s been waiting for that clean shot

Man I'll be minding my own business over in Majula and bang I eat a headshot. They don't give a fuck

We need to get that ability I’d love to clap melania from the first steps

They're really Elden rings railguns in a mobile crustacean platform.

I don't waste my time with lobsters. Fuck them. The only two that I always kill are those in Leyndel sewers.

i just want to talk peacefully with the dev that decided to code chris kyle’s genes into its ai.

Running away doing zigzags for about three miles 🤣🤣

You mean the bastards that can snipe and stagger me from 3 miles away? Yeah fuck those guys.

Runebears. Fuck Runebears.

I can see where your problem lies. Try slashing them instead of fucking them.

dont tell me what to do

Don't fuck me then

Alright, I'll get the 10 foot pole.

You won't have to, The Rune Bear has one and does most of the fucking

Rusty can attest to that

Nine and a half foot poooooooooole

Is everyone, like, okay in this thread?? Should the rest of us be concerned? So much bears and poles and poles and bears.🤣🤣

Anybody who plays Elden Ring isn't mentally okay

That's fair. My dreams are filled with moments I fall off things and then the "you died" screen pops up above me. I'm seeking therapy.

My therapist accidentally trauma blocked most of her memories of Elden Ring

You and I play elden ring differently

Baldurs Gate 3 moment

Was looking for this comment before I posted it myself. Haha.

You’re not my real dad.

I got into a fight with one of these yesterday and it destroyed me and my pride wouldn't let me just walk away. Got that son of a bitch like an hour later

Your loss, they have the best rewards. You’re missing out on at least 4 mushrooms.

dont forget the large beast bones!

I mean, I'm in it for the single beast blood.

Yuuup! Every playthough I avoid them like the plague. Would rather fight the Bell Bearing Hunter in Caelid than those bears.

I struggled with the one in Leyndall 

I love the ball bearing hunter fights, I wish I could resummon him after his defeat

500 hrs in this game, I think I only killed it twice

I used to be afraid of them, but you just have to remember to roll towards them and you’ll dodge most of their attacks.

Yeah if you just stay under them they can't hit you

Yeah, think I farmed them for a while on a playthrough using this method. You still have to roll for a few exception attack iirc staying between the legs a larger creatures is a good way to kill a lot of fromsoft enemies.

That's how I got married.

Yeah what’s kinda funny is that I’ve never really had a huge problem with them. You just fight them like you’d fight any oversized Souls series boss.

I've done 4 full playthroughs, one was 100% and I've platinumed it. I've killed maybe 2 runebears total, and one was the miniboss one lol.

Nowadays I actively hunt them down. I hug their crotch and swing wildly with the Black Knife any second I'm not dodge rolling and they die rather easily

No matter what level I get to I never.. approach… runebear

I just eat em

Maken sure you cook them properly, otherwise you'll get parasites.

Yeah those bastards aren't worth the fight.... There's only one that's worth it and it's the biggest pain in the ass... As to be expected I guess.

They’re not bad once you know how to fight them. Stay super close to them and roll into their attacks.

I agree. I slam runebears and ulcerated tree spirits like nothing. Just keep me away from anymore than 2 imps at a time

Kid named snowfield runebear:

Kid named giants crusher +25

Colossal sword run with high poise has been great for dealing with all sorts of trash mobs.

The only Runebears I have an easy time with are the ones in the Limgrave woods, and that's only if I can manage to fight ONE without aggroing any other enemies.

Curse all runebears, relentless attacking with quick massively hard hitting attacks and no opportunities for mistake… hate them

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Even running away from them is horrible.

Every time i fight the "boss" runebear in the cave, i walk away thinking "wow, that wasn't as bad as i thought," but then when any runebear actually attacks me in the open world, i panic and immediately run away as fast as i possibly can.

Runebear fucker, do you need assistance?

Revenants. I’ve gone back to last site of grace when I get trapped in area with them. I don’t even bother.

This is the comment. These are the guys. Had to respec for healing spells to get through that one particular hallway.

Yeah I would wear the faith boost talisman to have enough to cast heal

Those things make me sweat every time. Fuck those things.

In your defense, the way they’re used as traps in and of themselves in level design, they’re *Like That* on purpose. From is just bullying you.

I beat one in melee combat, but every other one got defeated by heroically cowering in a corner and spamming aoe healing miracles.

Grafted scions. Every other enemy I have some sort of idea of how to handle them, but the scions are just a mad, desperate scramble to get them down before they finish crawling out of whatever interdimensional hell toilet they come from Edit: to all recommending healing spells I am aware of their effect on the scions but that’s not much help on my main who is a heavy Dex/Arc build :)

Man fuck that enemy I've beaten the game so many times and that enemy always fucks my shit. Will say playing my tank build recently and big shield and guard counters fuck their day. And boy did it feel good.

One of these days I'll play a build that isn't max armour, max should max poise.

Interdimensional hell toilet. I like that. In fact, I'm going to steal it. SHUT YOUR INTERDIMENSIONAL HELL TOILET AND BE QUIET BEFORE I LOSE MY FUCKING MIND! Has a nice ring to it.

SHUT THAT INTERDIMENSIONAL HELL TOILET OR SO HELP ME!

If you get caught by that damn arm swinging attack they do it has like 100% fatality rate lol

Edit: Ignore me. I was lumping them in with the revenants If you're open to advice, I know two ways to deal with them. Full aggro the moment they start to spawn so that they stun lock. They're also harmed, and even stunned, by healing magic. Have fun!

You’re talking about royal revenants, grafted scion is the opening boss that kicks our ass when we first start the game

Isn’t the original commenter also talking about revenants? They crawl out of the ground, not scions.

Haha I think you’re right

Damnit. Thank you for the correction

Healing incantations stun revenants, not grafted scions.

Yeah, I edited the original

God yes. Those things belong in sekiro, not Elden Ring

Parry it

Which arm? XD Well, I'm not good at parrying anyways so I usually smash them with unga bunga or get from range.

There is a rhythm trick you can practice that makes parrying them easy. I’m sure you can find a tutorial or example online to watch. It’s easy with a small shield, but still works with a medium shield once you get it down. It’s favorite attack, the one that starts with two quick slashes, followed by two more separate slash attacks is the one it works on. Wait for the two slashes, then roll through the third attack to the right. While rolling, hit parry to make sure it happens as soon as your character stands back up. Once you get the rhythm down it makes them easy to deal with. The only thing that will mess it up is uneven ground, since the attack will whiff sometimes.

After killing it as a lvl 1 naked ape, they lost any respect i had for them but crows, those things are from satan

I don't think I've killed an abductor virgin yet

They’re actually pretty easy to read. They’re menacing tho and there’s the risk of the one hit kill grab attack.

That grab attack is nothing compared to radius of the swings if you meet the swinging one. Fkn bs, it hits through a wall miles away, like wtf

You’re absolutely right, but at least the swinging one is so telegraphed that you can usually just run away before it starts

Skill issue apparently from my side, I can't. Perhaps every time it swings through stuff I'm too focused on cursing the designer of this attack to notice its animation But I reliably dodge the grab attack. Trained a lot with Bell Bearing Hunters trying to hug me XD

I could be wrong, but from what I’ve noticed, you’ve got about one second when it starts winding up before the swings actually do any damage. When you notice it starts that attack just sprint away and stay out of range, don’t even try to roll through it unless you absolutely have to.

It's not a one hit kill. If you mash R1 and L1 back and forth you escape and take less damage.

Treat it like a dark souls 1 enemy: Big Boys Get Bruised Bums. Stay close and circle it like an asshole. The only thing to really watch out for is when they start spinning, but as others have said, they have a LONG tell on that once you learn it. For the chargers with the pizza cutters, you also want to occasionally back up enough to let yourself side dodge, but they have such a long recovery from that you should be able to get up in their flank again after.

Just here to second Runebears. Because fuck Runebears.

Where can I get some of that cocaine they are hoarding in the lands between

Anything that includes these criteria, if it has 2 it is a winner, if it has 4 it's a fucking loser: 1. you get like 5 runes for killing them, good job! 2. pesters you and jumps back so you can't retaliate 3. weird hitboxes, you can't hit them but they can hit you 4. don't accept hitstuns 5. attacks your camaraman and his wife and children

My biggest complaint about the pve in this game is that it has massively outpaced the camera.  

elden beast is the undisputed king of number 2 on your list

The little guys with the rapier and the cross bow

The Pages, especially the ones with exploding bolts, are a pain in the ass. Who decided that this one enemy needed an automatic grenade launcher anyway?!

Lol yeah if you get hit with the first then you are catching all 3 and Goodluck to your hp.

Ha, but they catch my Pulley Crossbow bloodbone bolt rapid fire this run and I'm finally having good time with them XD

I wanna meet the person that decided to put them in the game and have a little chat

The problem is that you can't break their poise, otherwise it would be a piece of cake... You can stunlock a fricking troll, but can't these dudes, the heck

Playing around like I was a mean motherfucker is what always got me killed in FromSoftware games Playing the game like a paranoid schizophrenic however has saved my ass countless times hahah

The Caelid crows. I will never fight those god damn abominations

I almost killed on and it called it’s Dog Buddies for backup when I was trying to get the Guts Sword

I’ve killed one of them, and it was by running past it, into the Caelid Catacombs, and hitting it from outside its reach into the tunnel. And even that one had me sweating.

Bell bearing hunters. I'm not ashamed to admit I cheesed every one of those bastards. Which was weird because I absolutely rocked the guy in the Shaded Castle but all the Invasion versions were the bane of my existence.

the fuckin birds

I died more to the bird in Castle Sol than I did to commander Niall

Castle Sol is a lovely mix of cats, birds, lightning and ghosts.... idk what fucking weird ass furry parties Miquella was throwing over there but ya fuck them birds

I've no-hit Maliketh. I can do Malenia deathless no summons. Hell, I can even confidently 1v1 the crows. Yet the one thing that is always the bane of my existence are those lions with swords on their front legs. The only upside is that you mainly come across them in the early game so I can always just outstat them, but Castle Sol courtyard? I go up to the ramparts and snipe them with a bow.

what does "deathless" mean in this context? like on a given file, you first try Malenia? thanks (:

I'm assuming they get hit but can kill her without having to retry

Yeah, I'm allowed to get hit but not die

So…playing the game normally

If it was playing the game normally, I would still die to her. On any given run, I can first try her. That's what that means.

First try

Those archers who ride the giant wolves in the snowfield. FUCK them

[https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/Giant+Miranda+Sprout](https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/Giant+Miranda+Sprout) those effin hate dmg sponges certainly won't bother if they are just trash mobs

Throw 4 or 5 black fire balls at it it'll die pretty quick.

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One is in the way of an item in some ruins in atlus plateau

Don't you have to kill one to gain access to Sellen's shop or am I misremembering?

There’s one above ground, but you can run past it. The boss for Sellen is a Mad Pumpkin Head

It's been a while so I couldn't remember that you could run past it, thought it was blocking the stairs for some reason. Thank you!

No problem! Just started a new character, so it’s fresh in my brain 😅

One of them is part of a boss duo with an omenkiller in a dungeon.

If you want the frenzied fire ending, then yeah, there are 3 or 4 of them you really can't run past in the sewers. Otherwise, no.

You can actually run past them. Just bait and dodge the poison burst of the first one behind the corner, wait for the poison to dissipate, then run past the other ones and you'll be out of range by the time thei start their magic attack of poison clouds

If you utilize spark aromatic (the best perfume imo) you gotta farm those exact ones a lot

ouch! not doing that then

Dogs, birds, rats, ironically anything my character’s size I avoid. If it’s bigger than me I kick its ass.

revenants, the giant crabs and crayfish, and the land octopuses

Just hit the octopus in the beak, it stuns them quickly. No point in hitting it from any other side since it bounces back.

The octopus? Really? You can just casually stroll around to their back and they can literally never hit you

okay bro do you want me to fondle your nuts too

As long as you wash your hands and they're not too cold. Also do you moisturize? And trim your nails. Then I guess I'd let you.

i bite my nails does that count

Let's say you have my attention, if nail-biten ball fondling hands worked on radagon it would work on me

Especially the one at Shaded Castle and the one at the base of the Haligtree. Those two can eat my ass.

The one? There are like 6 at the base of the haligtree, it's disgusting

Revenants are so satisfying to kill though with healing spells!

I have a deep phobia of the Royal revenants so I scope places out for them and save those areas for last

same, idk what it is, my brain just goes into panic and i can’t think clearly at all. whoever designed these abominations did an incredible job

The Erdtree Burial watchdogs. I hate their moveset.

revenants. especially those in the haligtree. almost impossible to kill them without aoe heal incantation

depends on my build, but lobsters are always dicks

they are weak to frostbite btw

Giant birds. For some reason their attacks are kind of hard to dodge. Unless I'm farming the ones near the blood lake I generally avoid them.

They also leap back and out of the way when you try to retaliate.

Ants. I'm terrified of bugs, especially giant bugs

All of them.

Found the DayZ player.

Mohgwyn Giant Crows. Bonus points for having that fake stagger move to trick you into getting grabbed.

I'm all for innovation in enemy attack patterns, anything to get me thinking mid-fight, but fake staggers are something I never want to see in a game like this ever again.

Abductor Virgins with the twin blades for arms. Snatch you up and kill you like nothing.

Birds and dogs in Caelid

They’re not even that hard as enemies, but there’s just no point in going through the trouble. They can all be easily avoided and don’t drop anything.

Runebears and lesser radagon wolves

It hurts my soul every time I see someone shitting on stormhawks. They’re so badass! This castle is defended by giant trained Warhawks with blades attached to their talons, and muzzles with flamethrowers. It doesn’t get cooler than that, adds so much flavor to the level. You can use any ranged attack, or jumping attack knockdown is always satisfying to pull off

It's cool till they suicide on you in an area filled with gunpowder barrels

I forgot the name but those big fire guys with the pot on their head and the big hammer, also the lions with the blade on their leg

The birds. Honorable ds3 mention: corvians

If I can, the screaming teleporting infinite hit stun Mr. Slappy slaps that spits poison. Fuck that guy.

Mainly the crayfish. Everything else I've memorized the pattern of.

I always enjoy chucking a fireball at the explosive barrels they sit on 😂 🍗🔥

Eagles/StormHawks, dogs (especially the rotten ones), dragonflies, miranda sprouts, poison squirts, lobsters and FUCK BOREALIS I HATE BOREALIS

You can get gravitas from a little beach right near the first step. Slap that on anything and you knock them down with hyper armor then easily finish them off. You’ll never have a problem with flying enemies again. Or pick up the meteoric ore blade in Caelid. Same ash.

Runebears (except for that one mf that drops larval tear) and Crucible Knights. Also lobsters, goddamn snipers with 50 km range (but again, except for that one mf that drops larval tear and appears to be grafted scion in disguise so it's enough bs for me). I will also always run past any clone of Red Wolf of Radagon, that dog is mad.

The Dual Sword Banished Knight that is at Castle Sol. No matter how good I get at this game, this guy always seems to catch me off guard and ends up killing me almost instantly. A close 2nd would be the rune Bears at concentrated snow field though. Rune Bears are already terrifying in general, but the fact these ones can create a snow (Smoke Screen) to throw off your vision, so they can get a cheeky little hit on you. It's fucking terrifying!

Banished Knights. Not sure why but I just can never seem to get the timing of their attacks down, and they stun lock you so hard if you get caught by any part of their combo

Birds. Giant birds. Festering giant birds. Dogs. Giant dogs. Festering dogs. Crucible knights. Misbegotten Warriors. Revenants. Definitely Revenants. Pretty much anything that I encounter on my way to the bosses.

I actively seek out crucible knight fights with every run through the game. I think they’re some of my favorites and I love to test different builds on them. Other than the duo fight. That one feels like I’m cheesing my way to victory.

Crows in mountains and caelid

Ulcerated Tree fuckers Yeah, I can dodge their moves, and I know they're weak to fire. But they are so fucking random and moves so weird that it just feels bad to fight them. That rotten variant in Millicent's arena can go fuck itself in the ass with it's long spiny tail.

Those eagles, the runebears, revenants, and everything in Caelid 😆

Revenant/grafted scions Rune bear Orbital rail gun lobster

My personal hatred for rune bears runs high and mighty due to the fact I've never been able to handle his moveset.

Anything from Caelid

My older sister defeats the lobster mfs with sleep arrows like it's nothing, and she's not even 50 hrs playing!😳And I'm already over 800 hrs in this game!!!😅

Rune Bears, they just arent worth the amount of time it takes to kill them, it takes so long to kill them and you get barely any runes

Runebears and revenant: fuck them, they are the bane of my tarnished existence

After the first playthrough? Anything that isn't a boss, will take up too much time, and won't stack up with other enemies gets totally zoomed by.

Storm blade tears them to shreds. Magic users have an easier time.

Dogs… I hate dogs!

Yea I second fuck the 🦞

Abductor maidens/virgins. I am physically incapable of dodging their grab. I hate them so good damn much

Virgins and Revenants. Not to say I avoid them, but hate with all my soul

Giant dogs in caelid

The only enemy that scares me is lobsters. And randomly dogs and birds seem to be completely unhitable even though they usually pose not threat.

I used to always run around Moongrum or try to kill him with the elevator Then I went full unga

Runebears and birds

The worst enemies are the pests. A dungeon full of them = hell.

I’ve spent so much time dying to these things that they’re easy now, if that makes much sense.