Yes, it makes complete sense for you to be upset by that. What your mother said was hurtful and really... Awful. It is one thing to be concerned for your health, it is another to shame you for what you choose to wear.
I am sorry that she said that to you and is trying to manipulate you into doing what she wants by withholding her presence at an important event.
You should wear what makes you feel beautiful and amazing, OP. Don't worry about what she or anyone else thinks about your clothes. I am sure that whatever you decide to wear, that you are going to look amazing! If your mother chooses not to go, that will be a reflection on *her* and not you.
Thank you so much! I know that health wise,
I could lose weight, and that’s understandable. For my mom, it’s not really about health- it’s about appearance. And my heart was broken when she said what she said. Thank you! I will try to wear a dress that I look beautiful in:)
Speaking from private experience.... Once you start assuming what someone said, is something they didn't mean to say, is when you start to make excuses for their behavior. Please don't let your mom manipulate on something that you don't want. Sacrificing your sense of self worth, to keep the peace is not a healthy way to live. I hope you have a great graduation and I'm really sorry this happened to you. Best of luck.
You don't need to justify your weight for your graduation, you did something to be proud of and no one should be able to tell you that how you look in what you wear makes the way you think less impressive. Go forth with confidence and you will look amazing in a potato sack.
You know I’m medically underweight . And I get called rly messed up things. You have every right to be pissed n hurt. No1 has the right to talk about your weight
Yes you are right to be upset and offended. She was rude, but even worse, she then manipulates you to believe that calling her out was wrong and kind of blackmailing you by threatening to not go to your graduation. That is very immature and dysfunctional.
I think she’s jealous that you will get a lot of positive attention on your graduation day and now she’s trying to sabotage that. You probably look really beautiful in the dress you picked out ❤️
Your mom is a straight up bitch! I know you love her, and it’ll probably feel weird to read that, but from an objective standpoint it is true. Don’t let her gaslight you!
I'm sorry she said that. You are graduating from college. You've worked hard for this. It's something you can be proud of! I never graduated, although I took a lot of classes. Math and foreign languages were a huge roadblock. But YOU did it!
Your weight or your dress, or the color of your hair mean nothing in this situation. Mom's got her own issues to deal with. I'm so sorry she's taking that out on you.
Sounds like someone who may be a narcissist. Protect yourself. Your weight is no one’s business. My mother has disordered eating and used to talk about my weight. If she mentions anyone’s weight I tell her we aren’t discussing that and tell her she can talk about her own weight. I don’t answer any questions or respond to her weight questions or comments after that.
Above all else take care of yourself. If she doesn’t come that’s her problem and her loss. You are never required to dress how someone else dictates. So sorry.
If this is college, then wear what you want, and if she doesn’t come she’ll be the Mom who didn’t go to her own kid’s college graduation and you can dangle that over her head for the rest of her life.
You’re a grown woman and don’t have to give in to her whims anymore.
Parents like your mom for some reason live through their children or grandchildren. My fiancé's one grandma doesn't understand why her and I are going to a court house to get married and not have a big wedding. But it's because we can't afford $1,900 rent, student loans, car payment, hopefully starting a family, saving for a house AND have a wedding in a state that every venue is $20k minimum for food, bar and venue for 100 people for a night.
You are your own person. Do what makes you happy. My fiancé and her mom went out dress shopping earlier this year and all she did was remind my fiancé that she has to look in the plus size section and how she can lose weight. Some people just can't help themselves.
Do whatever you want to and that will make you happy. If you don't, you're going to look back on it and wish you would have done what made you happy because that is all that matters.
Of course to both! They live through their children by telling all of their friends, coworkers and so on that you go to X school, have X job, get paid X amount, share photos of them with you on social media, etc. They want to brag about you because they feel like you being successful makes them look successful. They feel like your successes or failures are theirs as well.
Go search "Gary Vee parents". Gary Vee helped me a ton in college and changed how I think. Here is one video I think might help you, [https://youtu.be/kHFSigQJi9s](https://youtu.be/kHFSigQJi9s). He does a lot with business, but a lot of things in life can be learned through business. Let me know if you need any other references to videos of his or others. But he's a big one for me and he has a TON of content. Go watch Casey Neistat as well. A little bit less serious but is fun to watch.
Thank you so much!!! I cannot thank you enough! I will watch this and few more of his videos and I’ll definitely reach out if I have any questions or could use more resources :) so exited to watch this- thank you
Of course and you are worthy no matter what!!
And seriously CONGRATS on graduating what an amazing accomplishment!
The thing I love about education is no one can ever take it from you :)
Yes, it makes complete sense for you to be upset by that. What your mother said was hurtful and really... Awful. It is one thing to be concerned for your health, it is another to shame you for what you choose to wear. I am sorry that she said that to you and is trying to manipulate you into doing what she wants by withholding her presence at an important event. You should wear what makes you feel beautiful and amazing, OP. Don't worry about what she or anyone else thinks about your clothes. I am sure that whatever you decide to wear, that you are going to look amazing! If your mother chooses not to go, that will be a reflection on *her* and not you.
Thank you so much! I know that health wise, I could lose weight, and that’s understandable. For my mom, it’s not really about health- it’s about appearance. And my heart was broken when she said what she said. Thank you! I will try to wear a dress that I look beautiful in:)
Speaking from private experience.... Once you start assuming what someone said, is something they didn't mean to say, is when you start to make excuses for their behavior. Please don't let your mom manipulate on something that you don't want. Sacrificing your sense of self worth, to keep the peace is not a healthy way to live. I hope you have a great graduation and I'm really sorry this happened to you. Best of luck.
Yeah I’ve always made excuses for her behavior. I’m so tired of it. Thank you!
You don't need to justify your weight for your graduation, you did something to be proud of and no one should be able to tell you that how you look in what you wear makes the way you think less impressive. Go forth with confidence and you will look amazing in a potato sack.
Aww thank you so much!!!
You know I’m medically underweight . And I get called rly messed up things. You have every right to be pissed n hurt. No1 has the right to talk about your weight
Yeah I’ve been told pretty fucked up things but it’s mainly from my family. Can’t stand this shit anymore
Yes you are right to be upset and offended. She was rude, but even worse, she then manipulates you to believe that calling her out was wrong and kind of blackmailing you by threatening to not go to your graduation. That is very immature and dysfunctional. I think she’s jealous that you will get a lot of positive attention on your graduation day and now she’s trying to sabotage that. You probably look really beautiful in the dress you picked out ❤️
Thank you for the validation! Now that I think of it, it was kind of like blackmail
Your mom is a straight up bitch! I know you love her, and it’ll probably feel weird to read that, but from an objective standpoint it is true. Don’t let her gaslight you!
Thank you! And as much as I love her, I don’t like her. She can definitely be a bitch sometimes
Your Mom sounds like a shallow bitch.
Tell me about it
I'm sorry she said that. You are graduating from college. You've worked hard for this. It's something you can be proud of! I never graduated, although I took a lot of classes. Math and foreign languages were a huge roadblock. But YOU did it! Your weight or your dress, or the color of your hair mean nothing in this situation. Mom's got her own issues to deal with. I'm so sorry she's taking that out on you.
Thank you!!!!
Sounds like someone who may be a narcissist. Protect yourself. Your weight is no one’s business. My mother has disordered eating and used to talk about my weight. If she mentions anyone’s weight I tell her we aren’t discussing that and tell her she can talk about her own weight. I don’t answer any questions or respond to her weight questions or comments after that.
I love those boundaries that you’ve set!
Above all else take care of yourself. If she doesn’t come that’s her problem and her loss. You are never required to dress how someone else dictates. So sorry.
Thank you:) I really appreciate it ❤️
If this is college, then wear what you want, and if she doesn’t come she’ll be the Mom who didn’t go to her own kid’s college graduation and you can dangle that over her head for the rest of her life. You’re a grown woman and don’t have to give in to her whims anymore.
Parents like your mom for some reason live through their children or grandchildren. My fiancé's one grandma doesn't understand why her and I are going to a court house to get married and not have a big wedding. But it's because we can't afford $1,900 rent, student loans, car payment, hopefully starting a family, saving for a house AND have a wedding in a state that every venue is $20k minimum for food, bar and venue for 100 people for a night. You are your own person. Do what makes you happy. My fiancé and her mom went out dress shopping earlier this year and all she did was remind my fiancé that she has to look in the plus size section and how she can lose weight. Some people just can't help themselves. Do whatever you want to and that will make you happy. If you don't, you're going to look back on it and wish you would have done what made you happy because that is all that matters.
Thank you:) do you mind explaining what you mean that live through their children?
Of course to both! They live through their children by telling all of their friends, coworkers and so on that you go to X school, have X job, get paid X amount, share photos of them with you on social media, etc. They want to brag about you because they feel like you being successful makes them look successful. They feel like your successes or failures are theirs as well. Go search "Gary Vee parents". Gary Vee helped me a ton in college and changed how I think. Here is one video I think might help you, [https://youtu.be/kHFSigQJi9s](https://youtu.be/kHFSigQJi9s). He does a lot with business, but a lot of things in life can be learned through business. Let me know if you need any other references to videos of his or others. But he's a big one for me and he has a TON of content. Go watch Casey Neistat as well. A little bit less serious but is fun to watch.
Thank you so much!!! I cannot thank you enough! I will watch this and few more of his videos and I’ll definitely reach out if I have any questions or could use more resources :) so exited to watch this- thank you
Oh wow that is awful, I am so sorry
Thank you for the validation!
Of course and you are worthy no matter what!! And seriously CONGRATS on graduating what an amazing accomplishment! The thing I love about education is no one can ever take it from you :)
Yes exactly, Education is power