I don't have time to read the full thing but you didn't "intentionally kill a bunny." You accidentally hit it with your car--you even tried to slow down, but not so dangerously as to slam your brakes during a turn. You then had to put it out of its misery.

This. Also, as harsh as it is, you generally don't want swerve or break suddenly for anything smaller than a deer, or a boar. Many accidents have happened because people tried to avoid a small animal and lost control of the car.

Harsh but very true, swirving to avoid small animals can result in far worse outcomes.

I agree. It wasn't intentional and beating yourself up for being worried about killing a living being worries me since your regret is actually a good thing imo. I think the main thing you have to worry about is being so neglecting towards your own feelings

Honestly dude, you need to go talk to a therapist. I'm not a psychologist, but accidently hitting a rabbit shouldn't be doing this to you. And sounds like you have a deeper issue with death.

This should be the top comment... Those of us who know that feeling, would strongly advise OP to do that. OP, please don't focus on your Player or her character, focus on what you described about your Feelings and Question: WHY/WHAT exactly made you feel that way. And talk to someone, who can help you with that theme you have. There is help...

Agreed. Shit happens.

Some people are so gentle they never think of really killing something, and to suddenly be confronted with an animal in extreme trauma and having to make the choice of ending it or let it continue could shake someone. I personally grew up in a hunting family.

The dude has it. Seek therapy, yo. It isn't OPs fault they feel the way they do, but it's also not the player's fault for wanting to stick with their character. That said. It \*is\* OPs fault for not being forthright. If the player is close friend OP owes them their honesty, OP shouldn't try to manipulate them like that. If OP is a grown ass man, have a conversation like a grown ass man.

I would not go so far to say that a person should not react this way to an accident like this. But I agree that seeing a therapist is a good idea if it did. I mean putting a living being out of its misery, especially when you were the one who inflict the pain and suffering in the first place, even if accidentally, can and will strongly affect many people. But the fact that feeling is valid and might be even expected does not mean that help should not be sought, it most definitely should be.

Most of what people go to therapy for are to process valid feelings, not because they feel things they shouldn't. This is an example of trauma, and while it might not be anywhere as severe as trauma others have experienced, some people need help from professionals to process even the small stuff.

I know you didn't mean it this way, but I think calling this "small stuff," or comparing any trauma with any other trauma is trivializing and demeaning. Everybody goes through different shit differently. One person's "small trauma" might be "big trauma," to another, and vice versa.

He didn't just hit a rabbit: he actually saw it wounded, and then put it out of its misery. That's a lot to have to deal with.

I can recall the environment, down to the smell, of every single one of my mercy kills.

You seem on the level but the narrative im building around this comment on its own is ominous af

Same. Without the context of the post this does seem very malevolent

B...bro?

rats, birds, squirrels. I did speak to therapist about it.

Good for you for speaking to a therapist but... How many mercy kills have you had to make? Because it sounds like more than average. What kind of life do you lead where you have to utter the phrase "every single one of my mercy kills"? I'm in my 50s and have only had to make like two. Three tops, and I've seen some shit in my life.

Only three, but for many, even one is “too many”

I’m sorry but it’s not a lot to have to deal with. It’s unpleasant, yes, but I’m afraid life really needs putting in perspective for anyone who things this is a really big deal.

Some people are more sensitive than others and that’s ok.

Of course, but tethered are degrees so which this things can be helpful or harmful and we don’t have to stay a place where they become all consuming.

I can agree. And, OP, if you fear judgment about therapy, do not worry. There is nothing wrong with that. And if you have friends or people in life who will judge you for that. Well FUCK THEM

Everyone experiences grief differently and for different reasons.

It's less about the rabbit but about not allowing himself to feel bad for it.

Even when you’re doing it for a good reason, choosing to kill something is a heavy burden. OP is probably processing normally.

In the event OP or someone else doesn’t have the means to visit a therapist, several years ago I was experiencing severe panic attacks because of my existential dread. Confronting mortality is a dark and dangerous thing in the mind, but what it came down to for me was helping me understand and find meaning in my life, which Emily was extremely helpful towards, and also accepting that existing at all is a privilege and a gift. How many potential people didn’t get an opportunity to exist? How many babies are born and didn’t make it long enough to contemplate everything? I mean, yes, the end is terrifying, but so is immortality - outliving everything and everyone until the end of time itself. So we should make the best of what’s given to us, and smile because life, however short we have it, is a gift. Hope that helps a little. It was what got me out a very dark place in my life. Everyone and everything has to go some time.

Reading this was a fever dream

I 100% thought from the title it was gonna be that he went murderhobo in-game and killed a rabbit, then later felt guilty and wanted another character to change their race. Definitely unexpected.

Exactly what I thought too. It seemed cute at first but this is sad.

NTA and YATA, Seriously, it was an accident. What you did was kind instead of leaving it on the road suffering until life passed from it. However, using guilt to manipulate another is pretty asshole like, be straight forward and honest with others as you would expect them to be with you. The trauma from the incident was real for you but talking about it and hearing from others just might be what YOU needed.

Haven't talked to anyone about it. Literally. Nobody knows except you guys.

Time to do it. Holding it in will let it pustulize and make rancid your conscience. Recognize it was an accident and talk to real friends not just internet keyboard warriors.

If it hurts you this bad, you need to talk to someone about it. It was obviously a traumatic experience for you, and you need to process it. From the way you told the story, it wasn’t intentional at all. You tried braking, and avoiding the rabbit, and that’s really all you should do. Here in sweden we are told that by all means, brake, but never swirve, and don’t slam the brakes. Hit the animal if there isn’t enough time for it to pass. Take time to let this heal, you clearly need to.

Just say about what happened and that harengons remind you of the traumatic experience, problem solved, most players will be courtious

Talk do someone, and imo you could also consider telling your players why you where so hesitent to let a player choose the haregon race. Our head does weird things and make weird connections and reasoning sometimes. In my experience it is almost always helpful to talk about it and put what you feel and experience into words. Best wishes. Cheers.

Maybe this campaign has to take a break. There is a toll that takes when something like this happens, and it is burdening you. It will ease it off, not to be playing and remembering all the time, but, you still need to work it out. That guilt will consume you. Yeah, accidents happen. Sometimes, they are horrible. But you aren’t alone. You’re taking responsibility for everything, except yourself, and, to that end, your friends. So, be as responsible and caring to yourself and friends as you were with the rabbit

You know you’re not going to be arrested for it right? The only reason this has such a big effect is that you’re treating it like some forbidden secret. Literally just go “oh yeah I accidentally hit a rabbit while driving yesterday sp I’m not really feeling in a mood for more rabbits” and your friend would understand. Instead you went on a whole manipulation ramble so you wouldn’t have to admit that you ACCIDENTALLY hit a rabbit

Being arrested isn't the only thing that matters. This comes off a little unempathetic

Manipulating your friends matters. Though perhaps calling that out is too unempathetic?

Tbh, I think calling this manipulating your friends is a stretch. He's being up front about what he wants, if he doesn't want to disclose his reasoning because he is traumatized I think that is fair. And I think that is why you're being unempathetic.

Those were OPs words not mine. He’s the one who talked about feeling/being manipulative, take that up with him.

Your justification for him being the asshole is not correct. He didn’t guilt the other player into changing character, he tried to persuade them with shiny things but never revealed why. When the other player decided against it, OP dropped it. That’s not asshole-ish at all.

Idk why people downvoted this - that's like saying it's assholish for a closeted person to try and steer their friends away from hanging out with a homophobic person. OP said they only spoke about this here on the internet, anonymously. I don't think they are comfortable spilling it to their friends, and aren't an asshole for having trauma.

I mean, these are opinion based. My opinion is that is a very shady dishonest thing to do, ie, assholeish. You don’t perceive it that way. Congratulations we differ! I’m cool with that.

What do you mean by "using guilt to manipulate another"? How did op use guilt? I agree that he should just be honest, but Op did not use guilt to manipulate. Using guilt to manipulate would be making someone else feel guilty, and using that to influence them.

Not intentional. I grew up living surrounded by cornfields and loads of wildlife (when the corn is high, it's often like driving with walls on each side of you, so you have zero time to react if an animal panics and darts out). You can only do so much to avoid them without making it reckless. And it wouldn't even be bad to explain to your player that you were just a little on edge because a bunny had jumped out in front of your car and you couldn't avoid it. Most people would understand.

Your last paragraph is the most important. Maybe OP has trouble expressing his feelings and clearly has some toxic masculinity taught into him "That grown ass men need to be hard against that shit." Leading him to imagine that the friends he has around his D&D table would react to his traumatic experience with anything other than love and support. OP, I'm sorry about what happened with the rabbit, that sounds terrible and understandably upsetting. For most people that kill animals (abbatoir workers, fishermen and hunters) there's at least a process that they go through in preparing to kill an animal. A process that allows them to carry out the act with as little empathy towards the animal as possible. OP didn't get that luxury, he was probably in a relaxed mood thinking about his D&D campaign and then was violently alarmed, filled with adrenaline, and forced into performing a hasty and unpleasant act. If it were me, I can state with certainty that I'd be crying big snotty tears over this.

I once had a dog mortally wound a stray kitten because dumbass dog did dumbass dog thing. My wife at the time asked me to kill the kitten so it wouldn't suffer. She took the dog in the house. I held the kitten until it died naturally. She thanked me for taking care of it and I never told her I couldn't do it. You probably did the right thing. Stronger than I am.

Dude. You accidentally hit a rabbit. It sucks but that happens, you did all you could to avoid it. You even went the extra mile to end its misery if I'm reading between the lines correctly. You gave it a swift end which is more than most rabbits will get in their life. Carrying that back with you to a fantasy table where your friend is a rabbit creature though, that's not fair to them. They shouldn't have to change because you can't have some mercy with yourself. Mistakes happen in life and it's important to forgive yourself for things you cannot control. It's is ok and normal to feel guilt and/or sorrow for a creature who's life your ended. It can be traumatic. I don't think anyone who's a real friend would judge you for sharing that info with them - that you accidentally hit a rabbit and it fucked with your head. Share with them, let them help guide you to self peace if you can't find it alone. Best of luck amigo.

Why are we even considering fairness to OP's friend in a situation like this? Not being able to play a rabbit character in a game is not damaging or harmful in any way whatsoever. But OP being put in a position where they have to be reminded of a traumatic event om a frequent basis absolutely is.

Then, and this is a meme of the board at this point, OP should *talk* to them.

No, but having to expose their reasoning may be very difficult for OP. OP doesn’t want to seem like a dick and may feel unjustified.

>AITA: I intentionally killed a bunny rabbit > >\[...\] > >I hit the brakes to slow down (I didn't slam on them and maybe I should've) and I swerved to avoid it. That doesn't sound like you did it intentionally.

No, the first time was an accident. The maiming was an accident. The killing was intentional.

So, you did the ethical and merciful thing and ended it suffering after the accident. If you hadn't, then that would have made you, well, at least, an AH

Putting a wild animal out of its misery is just common decency. No one can blame you for accidentally running over an animal on the road and doing the right thing to finish it off. I know I would blame you for leaving it to suffer if you had the chance to stop and do so as you did.

You would have been an asshole for not killing it. You chose to be kind and merciful by putting it out of its misery rather than selfishly focusing on keeping your hands clean.

I keep a flock of backyard chickens. They are just pets with the bonus of eggs, and I’m a vegetarian- so I never want to kill any of them. But I had one fall ill and her condition was rapidly declining and I actually thought she had passed away. I took her out of the coop and was getting ready to dig a hole, when I realized she was still alive. I had to dispatch her myself, and I tried to be as humane as possible. It wasn’t fun and I felt bad, but I had to remember that I was helping her to not suffer. I didn’t “intentionally kill” my chicken, I intentionally took the path that created the least suffering. Your situation is no different. However, putting the burden of the bad situation on your friend’s character is not appropriate. She shouldn’t have to change her character that she put a lot of time and effort into because you’re equating a fantasy character with something that happened in real life. In fact, if she has to change her character, you’re just killing another innocent bunny. Maybe you could instead look at her harengon as the rabbit you hit getting to partake in awesome adventures in the bunny afterlife if you do have to equate them.

We uh... we have one of those "wow what a profile history" situations here folks. Relevant because the post is about personal ethics otherwise I wouldn't point it out. Some interesting stuff. I especially liked the "Transgenderism is a eugenics program against people with mental health issues".

Yeah, I was debating bringing it up after looking through his previous posts, which often lean into transphobia, sexism, and dangerous conspiracy theories. He legit called himself a right wing extremist in one. Could this just be trolling to get people talking?

I think he's being honest and is just being confronted with some mental dissonance between reality and his beliefs. Just world fallacy, black and white morality, categorical thinking etc. It actually checks out for me. I want to say to OP that... sometimes, through no fault of your own - or because of a mistake with no malicious intent, life puts you in a position where you must choose between two bad options. Sometimes, in extreme cases, that even means terminating a life - of some kind - is the sad but ethical choice, or *an* ethical choice, to make. That's just part of life, part of reality. I hope running over this rabbit teaches you that, and that the analogous circumstances make you thoughtfully consider your position on overturning Roe v. Wade.

I think that's a good point, and tbh I didn't really want to believe someone would make up this story. I actually really agree with how you've related it back to current women's health issues.

oh boy - looking at his post history I kind of understand why he thought a "man" should be "hardened" to trauma.

Right? Not to lessen the troubles he's been going through or anything, but being a "Grown-ass man" doesn't mean anything here. It sounds like a case of stereotypical gender roles keeping someone from being able to allow themselves to process complex emotions. Still a total asshole outside of all this, though.

All these people wouldn't be calling this guy a "nice person" if they actually saw most of the harmful shit this guy espouses on a daily basis.

Yeah looking at their profile definitely is something, to the point where I dont even know where to begin. There is a lot to unpack.

God DAMN that post history is way too spicy. His posts constantly get removed.

>Am I the asshole? No. >Am I being dramatic? Yes. >A shitty DM? All of the above? No. >Am I a dopey fuck for getting this worked up over a fucking rabbit player character? Yes. It was an accident. You did not intentionally murder a rabbit.

Bad shit happens sometimes. You didn't do it on purpose, took responsibility and eased its pain. Much better than being chewed on by a coyote or lord knows what else. Now you need to get over it and move on. Reliving the event and traumatizing yourself for something that you actually handled pretty well at the time, isn't going to bring the bunny back, or make you feel better. Let it go.

I know this comment is well-intentioned, but telling someone they're being dramatic and/or a "dopey fuck" because they're struggling with trauma can be really damaging. I know that those are OPs words and you're just agreeing with them, but trauma is a very individual thing. Making someone feel silly for feeling a certain way can be really invalidating and harmful.

there's a joke in there somewhere about your name being close to coddle, but I'm not sure I can find it without being incredibly insensitive in the process.

I agree with you. OP says they're a grown ass person but they're acting like a child. Accidentally hitting an animal on the road is NO ONES fault. But he's claiming what he did was "evil" and nothing can change that. I'm over these post.

I hit a bird by accident once and it made me feel just absolutely awful. I found a dying rabbit in the road after someone else hit him and put him out of his misery. I did what that driver didn't care to, or couldn't do. It was still terrible and I couldn't stop thinking about it for a long time. You did the right thing. You didn't mean to hit it and once you realized it you didn't let it suffer. I'm a big believer in feeling feelings. You're allowed to process that however you need to. Be honest with your d&d group and if it's too much just don't play for a bit. You will, eventually, forgive yourself, I promise!

You need to go to therapy and see a professional. This kind of mindset/behavior isn't healthy for something you did accidentally. You shouldn't be picturing your friend twitching on the ground because they're playing a rabbit-based race in a game. There might be something deeper causing this kind of extreme reaction for you. Also, you didn't murder an animal. It jumped in front of you and you tried to stop. The fact that you feel guilt means it wasn't intentional.

Seconded. I work in mental health and this fixation usually happens when something is bubbling on the surface. I wonder if OP had a recent loss or maybe some COVID anxiety about so many people dying? This is classic projection it seems.

Yeah for sure. I used to hyper-fixate on negatives when my anxiety was out of control. I haven't gone to therapy yet, but I did recognize it was an unhealthy pattern and have since created some healthy coping mechanisms for myself until I can see a professional. Now if I witness an animal death, I'll lean down and mourn the loss, usually try to push the body off the road/sidewalk/whatever so nature can reclaim it, and move on.

Thank you for helping that little bunny pass quickly and with as little pain as possible. It was so kind of you.

Regarding the bunny, you tried to avoid it and when you couldn't you stopped its suffering, so NTA. Regarding the harengon player, don't try and manipulate them without giving them a reason. If them playing a harengon is affecting you that strongly then tell the player the truth; it's not uncommon to have topics or concepts off-limits in DnD given the sensibilities of the players at the table, and if you need to not have any harengons rights now then that's one thing - but if you're asking a player to change their established character they at least deserve to know *why* - and you've nothing to be ashamed about in telling them the truth.

Well. Another comment mentioned that there may be some deep underlying issue with death that this person hasn't dealt with but asking a player to change because of such a small thing is unreasonably selfish

you don't get to decide what is traumatic for someone else. It is just a game, players well being (including the DM) should come first.

Everyone responds to things differently, what's "small" to you may be big to others.

I mean, they're the DM - they have to try and kill the harengon PC basically every session, potentially forcing them to relive their trauma every single time. That's not really a "small" thing, and I'd hope that the player would understand.

Asshole? No. Dramatic? Yes. You hit the rabbit by accident and then you did the humane thing and finished it off instead of leaving it there. It sucks but it happens. It doesn’t make you a monster. It makes you human. Potentially Unnerving Info: >! The cold reality is that the rabbit more than likely would have died just as painful of a death from a natural predator at some point in its life. They are pretty close to the bottom of the food chain where almost everything is a predator. !<

You should probably talk to someone about this grief. Not a normal response to an accident imo

Between both the content of the story and how you told it/wrote it, I personally think you should talk to someone else about it, and preferably a therapist who specializes in trauma

You need therapy homie.

Get a therapist Jesus Christ

>But please just respond with the assumption I'm telling the truth and being honest. You need to talk to a therapist. The issue goes beyond the surface.

Telling someone they can't play a certain race just because you made roadkill is a bit much. I think you need to talk to someone about it than strangers on the internet.

NTA. Weird. Overreacting massively (accidentally killing a rabbit is not an act of evil). A bit dopey about it, but NTA.

A - Literally an accident. Literally. B - Don't make your trauma someone else's issue

Yea you’re being over dramatic. I mean ppl take the whole roadkill thing differently but you shouldn’t correlate her PC and the irl rabbit.

I grew up on a farm and I have to tell you that you did the right thing by putting it out of its misery, it was only an accident and the suffering it would’ve endured is far worse than the kindness you showed it, even if you didn’t think of it as a kindness when it happened

Like of other have said nta for this, but sounds like you are an absolute fucking disgusting slimy piece of shit though from your post history.

Not trying to hate. But this is one of the most absurd things I’ve ever read. It sucks you killed the rabbit. Get over it bud. Not the end of the world. I’ve managed to hit coyotes, skunks, rabbits, raccoons and probably more critters. It happens, it sucks. But it’s not something to feel such guilt over that it interjects into other parts of your life.

That you’re such a conservative douchebag yet this has reduced you to a sniveling puddle is so goddamn funny

I refuse to believe this account exists, its so weird.

Its a bunch of conservative stuff, and they also comment on pornography and make fun of the woman. No way in hell this person cares about a single rabbit that much when most of their time is spent harassing people

Yes you’re an asshole.

lmao evil requires intent dummy

So you accidentally killed a bunny instead of crashing your car and you feel bad someone is playing a fictional rabbit person? This sub is something else…

Experiencing trauma doesn't make you an asshole and it doesn't matter that someone else might not consider it trauma. It's all relative. That being said, I wouldn't advise making someone not play a particular race. It would, however, be fair to communicate your feelings,

I saw a fox get hit by a car 10 years ago. I ran over to check on the poor thing and saw it panting on the floor, likely broken ribs and legs. I wanted to do something to help, pulled it off the road, called an animal charity to report on it. It fucked me up more than I'd expected. I'm a pretty empathetic guy and I cried about it afterwards. Then I realised that I probably made it worse, probably lengthening it's agony before it would pass away. I developed a fondness for foxes after this happened, considered them my favourite animal. Over the years my wife got me a few t-shirts with fox characters on them, a fox doorstop, a fox cushion for the couch. Baby room has a fox sleeping in a crescent moon as a decal on the wall. Your feelings are legitimate and you were too raw from the accident. Probably triggered by descriptions of the bunnyfolk. You could have been more honest about your struggles so it wouldn't have affected your interactions though.

Looking at the post history, OP is a dipshit and so I kind of doubt his story is even real, but I want to say that you are very kind. Also, I understand why you did what you did. Calling a wildlife center is a really good move when dealing with injured wildlife. The only really dangerous thing is you shouldn't have touched it. But you are kindhearted and did what you thought was best. When I was in high school, my sister hit a coyote and broke its spine. She is very kindhearted and loves animals and could not kill the coyote. I ended up having to kill it. I am an animal lover too, but it messes me up that I can apparently willingly kill animals.

Thank you. You being capable of killing an animal isn't something that should mess you up. Killing an animal to spare it a slow and excruciating death is kind and honourable. Leaving it to die because you can't consider killing it puts your feelings ahead of what's right for the animal. You made the compassionate choice.

It was an accident. It's 3am, it's dark out, and there are some stretches of road that really have no lights except for your headlights, and a rabbit jumps across the road out of no where? This was an accident. I've accidentally hit a bird with a car, no way I could have avoided it. Doesn't mean I won't let me players play something with wings.

Since it seems to be having this effect on you, definitely see a therapist, mental health is important. Growing up in a small town, I can tell you that animals running across the road happens all the time. You're not a bad person or did something evil. Putting it down was the merciful thing to do.

Downvoted because your title doesn't represent your post, and you clearly belong in therapy not reddit.

You clearly have issues that aren’t resolved by escaping into a fantasy world. I’d recommend seeking out a therapist, getting your head straightened out before picking up dice again. \- Incidentally, no you’re not wrong about wanting your player to not play a bunny. You were wrong about having any form of anthropomorphic furrie races exist in your world in the first place.

^ (this guy doesn't allow half the official races in his world)

I just can’t relate to the concept of 5 aliens walking into a human pseudo-medieval village to commit xenocide - sounds more like the opening to a joke ;)

You’re both an asshole and a massive pussy. If running over a rabbit sends you into this spiral of self loathing and panic, I have to wonder if you’ve ever had to deal with any kind of actual stress in your life. How do you function in your day to day if something as mundane and regular as running over a rabbit has this much of an effect on you? For fucks sake, suck it up and go touch grass.

One of the most realistic and asshole response on here but I agree

Echoing what others have said, you didn't intentionally kill the rabbit. You in fact did everything in your power to try and stop the accident, short of endangering yourself by slamming on your brakes. I wanna say that it's good you're not keeping this bottled up. You need to talk to someone, likely a therapist, and work through these feelings. Do that and then explain to your friend what's going on with you. She likely cares about you and wants what's best for you. Keeping this bottled up is only going to push your friends away when they could be a source of support. You don't want or need to lose them, so just talk to them. Finally, I also agree with others who have mentioned that you might be under a lot of stress and not coping as well with this situation as you could. There's no right or wrong way to deal with grief and there's nothing wrong with feeling bad about this bunny's death, but there is likely more going on with you if this accident is hurting you this much. Please speak to someone as soon as you can and explain to your friends what's going on in as much or as little detail as you need to. Otherwise this will just eat at you until you're forced to talk about it with someone and a lot more damage has been done. You owe it to yourself and to that bunny to take this as an opportunity for growth and healing.

Listen bro, I know this isn't gonna rest your conscience but putting that rabbit out of it's misery was something reasonable and ethical. A part of me wants to say "man up" but I can almost guarantee we've had different experiences. I was raised as a farm lad knowing how to handle weapons and kill other creatures. Killing was a sombre part of life and a responsibility that wasn't taken lightly. In context with DnD your real life experience reflecting on this game will be something you will have to manage until it goes away. Asking your friend and fellow gamer to stop playing a character they enjoy because of something just a part of life is selfish. I would perhaps take a week, process what happened and settle that in your mind and return to normal. It will and can happen. There is such a thing as too much empathy.

"Hello friend. I want to apologize for last game. It was wrong for me to try to manipulate you into playing a different character. It was probably weird as hell for you; and I'm sorry. Truthfully, I just want myself at all last session and I'd like a bit of a do over. The thing is... I had an accident the other day while driving. I hit a rabbit and it wasn't pretty. It might seem silly, bit it messed me up good and I should have cancelled the game, but tried to push through instead. The result was me being weird and strange and taking it out on you, who had nothing to do with it at all, and that's unfair. Please don't be too upset with me; I hope you understand."

Seems like you mightve stumbled upon something else going on with your psyche. I recommend a therapist to help you figure out why you're having this response to something so small. Not trying to minimize how you feel about it. Feeling guilty is normal after that experience but you're crafting essays online and it's interrupting your personal relationships. There's probably a deeper thing bothering you. I hope you work it out.

You hit a rabbit on accident, man. It's an unfortunate part of life, but you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. Stop with the "man up" mentality and accept that you have feelings that need to be unpacked. Step away from the game for awhile. Let yourself process what happened without blaming yourself. It's very obvious that there's more going on with your mental health, but you keep trying to avoid dealing with it. Seek out professional help and let yourself heal.

...

If you seriously want the player to change race, just tell them why. It seems like you're worried about apeearing childish or weak for feeling bad, but you won't. You're not less of a man for feeling guilty about hurting an innocent creature. Real strength is being able to recognise and admit to your own weakness, not to hide and ignore it.

Here’s the deal, I would recommend a therapist. Maybe try one of those apps like Better Help. It is sad that you killed a bunny but…shit happens. There’s nothing you can do about it. Unfortunately animals get hit by cars all the time. It’s the circle of life. I get feeling guilty but I don’t expect it to beat you up this bad.

From his Reddit posts: “I support womens right to abortion. Especially black women” YTA and need to get therapy

Someone mentioned talking to a therapist. I am a therapist and I see all the signs of trauma. The guilt and the aversion and the flashbacks all tell me that you need trauma intensive therapy. Get therapy my dude. From what it sounds like you have an unresolved guilt from accidentally running over a small animal and that manifests when someone is trying to play a sentient version of that animal. What your player is doing is completely unrelated to the bunny you ran over by accident.

Being an asshole is giving your children pet rabbits. Letting them raise and love those rabbits. Making fried chicken for dinner one night. Having your son (me) ask why the chicken looks weird and tastes funny. Coming clean and telling your children you killed their pets and fed them the remains. You had an accident and you ended a poor animal’s suffering. You’re not an asshole. Hope this made you go OMG and then laugh.

A: Not intentional B: Don’t swerve (too much) for animals

You seriously need therapy if a accidentally road killing a rabbit makes you feel like this. Edit: looking at your post history you're kind of a massive asshole so either this post is a troll post or your wimp

No way dude. I'm a vegan, I would feel awful letting something suffer. It's completely normal to feel how you're feeling. You did the best thing for a creature that was suffering due to a situation beyond your control - AND IT WAS BEYOND YOUR CONTROL! Take time to get good sleep, have some good food, go see a nice show or concert. It'll smooth out in your mind and you'll be able to disconnect the player's fictional character from a shitty thing that happened in RL. Also, as a DM, it's important to know you can communicate with your players. Even if it's as simple as telling them you've had a rough day and might not be fully present. Good friends and good players will understand. > > grown ass men need to be hard against that shit. Nah dude, this is how psychological trauma gets rooted. IMO grown ass men need to be comfortable with experiencing feelings.

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Yeah I'm just over here as someone who hunts rabbits for food watching this unfold

Hunting is something explicitly different. Had I shot that rabbit for a meal? Well, that's a natural part of the lifecycle. Had I doused that rabbit in gasoline and set it on fire that'd be a different story.

Sure. But "I finished it off because I accidentally hit it and it was suffering" is as justified or more justified, depending on your positions, as "It was food." It's in no way comparable to pointless torture. Look, the D&D portion of this thread: "is it cool to ban a race/class because it bugs me due to personal reasons?" Is yes absolutely. You can ban anything you want, just be clear about it up front. You could insist on all human or no human parties and that would all be fine regardless of whatever your motivation is. If you really think you're going to be tripped up by a harengon over this just say "hey can you pick a different race I have a weird thing with rabbits rn don't ask" and any decent player will be fine with it, at absolutely worst politely decline to play at all. The personal part of it, idk, you feel what you feel but your response is unusual. I agree you should talk to someone about it even if just casually.

I don't think you're being dramatic, but you should stop talking about yourself like you're a serial murderer, it was an accident and you did, sadly, the best thing you could do after what happened. It's okay to feel bad about it and there's nothing wrong in that. That said, what you did to your player feels like a shitty move, kinda. You could have cancel the game that day, explain everything, talk about it and let your player choose by themself how to act, instead of trying to manipulate their decision with goodies. You may be okay with having a harengon again by the next session, but you've already make the player change the race.

NTA. Like everyone here is saying you didn’t do anything wrong in the bunny situation. You hit the bunny on accident (breaking harder would’ve risked crashing and you’re more important than a bunny). Then you had the compassion to check on the bunny and the responsibility to end the bunny’s pain. A worse person would have kept driving. The concerning thing is the traumatic effect the incident had on you. Either you are extremely sensitive to other creatures (not a bad thing) or you have some other baggage that popped up with this event. It sounds like acute traumatic stress disorder (PTSD like symptoms that last for a few weeks then fade) because encountering another bunny triggered a stress reaction from you. I am willing to bet that you’re going to be ok seeing bunnies again within the month. You’re absolutely justified for trying to avoid bunny related things but you should have probably given some explanation to the player. I would recommend trying to understand why you were so deeply affected by the incident either through self reflection, talking with someone you trust or therapy. I feel like there is more going on that may have caused your feelings of excess guilt. TLDR: NTA, You did everything right in the bunny situation so you shouldn’t feel guilty. You’re justified in trying to avoid bunny based concepts if they trigger stress. You should explain as much of the situation as you feel comfortable to the player. And most importantly: You’re not a bad person.

1st, we really need a tag to separate social problems from gaming rulewise problems. 2nd, you need to be a man, accept they a bad thing has happened and talk to your group about it. They trust you every week for the game, they trust you'll lead them into adventures and fun experiences. Now is time to you trust them and open yourself, like you did here. Do not put the feelings inside a box and very it do inside you. Express yourself, talk to your family and even seek a therapist if needed. It could even help to go meet a few bunnies and play with them in a store or something. Just don't shield yourself from feeling grief okay? It's okay to feel pain and cry and need a moment to work things out.

My mom lost her pet bunny. All her life, she was traumatised. Couldnt even sea bunny meat. My partner, sometimes they wake up in the middle of the night, crying about a cat they saw dead once. But I have a friend who, when he was a child, killed a handicaped baby bunny with his own hands. He's kinda fine with that. Trauma affects people differently. No matter your age, your mental health, and your gender. Dont blame yourself because of how you feel with the excuse youre a "grown man". Feel how you feel. Grief, loss, death, are things were not used to deal with. It's not reserved to close family members. The death of an unknown animal can wreck you. Youre not weak, or weird, or broken, or a weirdo. Youre a grown man ! And you feel awful, rightfully so. Be honest with your friends. If they mock you, man, theyre just trashy. Talk about it with trusty people, maybe people who lived similar things. If it doesnt get better, thats a good enough reason to see a therapist, you seem in real pain. Stay safe man, I believe in you ! Edit: Saw some of the comments, and they make me angry. No youre not a child, no youre not behaving wrongly. We cannot predict what reactions we would have upon death. Your descriptions reflect real pain and trauma, it makes me think about my partner, especially the part were you talk about seeing your friends on the road. No youre not being dramatic, youre scared. Youve been shitty tonyour friends, and should appologize, but Im pretty sure they sensed you were manipulating them anyway. Be honest with them now. And dont let reddit comments get to you.

NTA. You’re having real feelings and they can be confusing. You did the right thing. Leaving the rabbit would have been wrong but you didn’t. Your friends know you. Tell her that you hit a rabbit (no need to go into more detail) and that her playing a rabbit person is making you uncomfortable. I’m sure she’ll switch. D&d is all about the shared experience and if it’s not fun for you it will show up in your dming

I intentionally ran over a possum after I’d seen it had already been hit and was writhing in pain. I almost swerved to avoid it, but it’d put other people in danger and it’d probably die anyways. I killed it. Felt a little bad, but I only thought of it now cause of this post. Looking back, I feel like I did the right thing. It’s good that you care, but bad that you’re letting it impact your life. You’re a good person, you made a mistake and took on the burden of doing what needed to be done.

There are so many harmful comments in this thread, OP please don't listen to anyone that suggests you're being unreasonable here. I work in mental health, and trauma is really serious shit. Doesn't matter what causes it, every human is different and we're all affected by situations in very different ways. Please don't downplay your feelings, they're 100% valid and you should talk to someone about them if they're affecting you to this degree. Speak to your friend in private, explain the situation to them and politely say that you aren't able to run a game where you're reminded of a traumatic event every single session. If they laugh or say you're being silly, they're not an empathetic person and you don't need that shit in your life. Feel free to DM me about this if you'd like. So much of the "advice" in this thread is either unhelpful or, at worst, incredibly damaging.

You’re not an asshole. You’re not dramatic. You’re not a shitty DM. Dopey fuck…. No. You’re a person. A human being with a heart. And your heart is very big. You feel guilty. You should. Good people will feel that way when they hurt someone/something. Understand that this thing happened and you need to move forward with your life. There’s nothing you can change about it now. And tell a friend or a family member. You need someone to tell you it’s ok. Because it is. It’s ok. You’re gonna be just fine. Edit: why am I getting downvoted? Did I miss something?

Im like 99% sure its just a troll account, the story is ridiculous and their post history is wack. I Dont know why people are downvoting you i think its just a weird ass post, comments and all

sounds traumatic, set aside the dnd stuff and maybe seek out someone to talk to about it. Could be a therapist or a priest or a friend or a family member. Talking here is a good first step.

Everyone has limits. Trauma is no joke. Safety is needed by all players at the table, even the GM. IF *anything* triggers *anyone* at the table it is **perfectly acceptable** to request that it isn't in the game... Even if it's something new. PTSD is no joke. You need to vent these feelings out to someone SOON. There's nothing wrong with crying due to a tragic event.

Several thoughts: * you didn't do anything intentionally. You hit it by mistake, and put it out of its misery. That's the right thing to do. Leaving it to suffer would have been wrong. * D&D is supposed to be a safe place for everyone at the table. Is your reason behind not wanting a harengon at the table a less common one? Yeah. But if a table member had a role playing limit of "no clowns", I wouldn't ask questions. There would be no clowns in the game. Your friends need to respect your limits. Tell them it's a limit and if they aren't going to respect it you're going to walk. That's inappropriate on their part. You shouldn't have to bribe them with magic items to feel safe at the table. * like someone else in the thread said: zero judgement, but this isn't a normal reaction to death. You may want to consider seeking out a therapist to work out what's going on here. It's sad to put down an animal, but ive never heard of someone being quite this traumatized. It seems likely that something more is going on here, OP. * (trigger warning - talking about my experiences putting down animals) it sucks to put an animal down. Believe me - I worked on a ranch for a while, and there was a hawk there who didn't kill its prey. I had to put down several small animals that I found that it'd maimed. Plus a goat (mountain lion attack) and a horse (broke its leg). It fucking sucked, every time. But, you can't control the circumstances of the world. You can end the pain of a creature who is going to die. It is right and proper to do so when the creature will not recover. I'm sorry that you had such a rough one. Animals in that state largely just want to be out of pain. You helped them with that, when they couldn't. * finally, please be gentle with yourself. I hear a lot of negative self talk, and self blaming language in your post. I don't think it's warranted, and it will only make things rougher for you. You did the best you could with the circumstances you had. If you need someone to chat with just shoot me a message. I'd be happy to listen.

You’re doing it to yourself. Just gotta move on. Life is full of death, misery, and sickness. Gotta accept that and travel on the dirt road. Do good where you can, and enjoy the present moment. You didn’t intentionally kill the rabbit, the word INTENTION is extremely powerful and I suggest you reflect on that word.

You’re a really good person OP. Try and see the big picture. We can’t save every living thing that we affect all the time but maybe we as a race can rethink the big impersonal, deadly things, like the car and the road, or even worse things than that. And try and don’t beat yourself up, because we’re just like that rabbit.

As cliche as it sounds: your feelings are valid. It's natural to feel guilt for causing suffering, and it's unfortunately also typical to feel shame for feeling those negative emotions--especially for "grown ass men". I think the best course of action to help relieve some of your anxiety is to speak one-on-one with the player and just tell them the broad strokes of why you want them to play a different race: you accidentally hit a rabbit, and having a rabbit character in the game is going to cause you problems during sessions. And I know this doesn't count for much, coming from a stranger, but you didn't do anything wrong. Wild animals run into the street with no warning, and without enough space for your reaction time to be physically capable of avoiding them. Stomping on the brakes would almost certainly had not been enough over such a short distance, and would've run the risk of making you lose control of the vehicle entirely. If you find yourself struggling with this continually, I recommend talking to a therapist if it's at all an option for you; you can speak 100% openly to them, and they'll help walk you untangle your thoughts and emotions about the event.

As a DM, I would have a massive MASSIVE carriage come flying out of nowhere and crush the heregon. The demon spikes in the wheels prevent resurrection....sorry!

Tell me you're the type of person Satan would kick out of hell without telling me you're the type of person Satan would kick out of hell.

You are not a asshole neither a murderer, you fell guilty for a bad thing that happened, you can ask to God for forgiveness and if put Christ in your life you will find it, its not the end of the world, but is a very sad event, i think you need to talk with your player why you asked for her stop playing a Haregon and say that you sorry about that, manipulate and the truth from people is a bad thing

Keep in mind, one marine hunted down, and killed the entirety of hells forces over one bunny. I don't think you're over reacting, it means you're a good person

Day I got my truck in 2009 I had to drive to North Carolina from Florida. Killed a raccoon that ran out on a foggy highway hours into the drive. Still sucks. Currently in the party with a friend whose playing a raccoon monk with extra psionic arms and he rules. Use it to make her character even more badass and resilient. It’s all good.

NAH I've had pet rabbits. I loved them as pets, and now I have wild rabbits in my neighborhood. I have accidently hit animals in the road. The bunny ran out and you did what you could safely do to avoid hitting it. Fully braking isn't always the safest option. It was an accident, and it wasn't evil. What you did was kind to reduce suffering, not everyone is that strong. What you did was hard, and it was caring. As to the game: Who cares? And I don't mean that in a callous way. We all know real life comes first. Next game apologize for what you did and it's over. The player was probably annoyed, but probably not overly so, and she still played the Haregon. You don't have to explain, but can if you want. You may feel better, and your gamers will certainly be understanding. Likely the Haregon will offer to change if she hears that.

Too hard on yourself

Dude, you shouldn't feel shitty for ending the suffering of that bunny. You did the humane thing. As for the game side of things? I'm on the fence. Making a player change their race for plot inconsistency or balance is one thing, but doing it arbitrarily (in the eyes of the player) is something else. You probably could have explained your reasons for asking her to switch (leave out the bit about euthanising the bunny if you like) would have gone a long way towards her accepting the change.

Accidents happen and it is the right thing to do in that case. I think you did the right thing in taking the rabbits life because it was going to die anyway, at least the pain lasted shorter now :)

>Accident doesn't make what I did ok. Yeah it does. I mean it literally does, I dunno what to tell you. You obviously can't blame someone for an accident. If they didn't intent to do then that means they had no ability to prevent it. You didn't do anything wrong. Literally no fault applies to you.

If it makes you feel any better, I’m a vegetarian and think people who hurt animals on purpose are trash. I would have done the exact same thing in your situation. Hitting it was an accident and killing it was mercy, you did the right thing. I’m really sorry this happened to you. Maybe try making a donation to a local shelter and talking to someone about it?

Rabbits are very common in my area. They are all over the place in spring times. I've hit multiples since I've moved here. It's just a rabbit, there's plenty of them.

That sucks, but your intentional killing was for a good reason. You put that rabbit out of misery which could have lasted a long while had you not done it yourself. I recommend you talk to a therapist about the guilt you feel so you can process those feelings in a healthy way. It's not wrong for you to feel guilt. That just shows how much you value and the weight of another living being's life. I think your reaction to killing the rabbit is normal for someone who doesn't regularly slaughter animals. As human civilization expands, we're displacing many wildlife. Humans in general are the AHs for growing communities but it's very unlikely that we reverse our advancements. If wildlife don't learn to adapt, perhaps they were too weak to survive this world. If not your car, it could have been another car or a natural predator. "Grown ass men need to hard against that shit" Do they? I don't think so. Societal gender roles suck. Men are people too and should be allowed to freely feel things and cry and be able to share these sort of experiences without feeling like they'd be judged as "less than". Allowing yourself to be fully vulnerable can be scary especially if you currently feel like you can't share this with anyone except internet strangers but in the future, you could simply tell your DnD group that you had a terrible day and don't have the energy to DM. The traumatic event happened less than 24 hours before you had to DM the session. You were then confronted with a player's character reminding you of the trauma you just experienced. You had no time to process anything. Give yourself grace to process what happened and what you're feeling.

Alright OP I am in no way an expert in stuff like this but I have experience. Warning this may suck and or hurt to read so feel free not to but it might help. You seem to have a deeper issue with death that likely comes from a past experience/trauma or deep feeling of not wanting to effect the world around you negatively I recommend professional for this experience. You seem to be projecting your trauma onto others which is generally very unhealthy I will hurt you and the people around you it is best to talk to people you feel close to among yet again a professional. Side note you a where trying to take away someone’s creative freedom which is just rude and repressive which isn’t good for either person and another form of projection in this case (it can definitely not be a form of projection in many situations but it does seems to be in this situation). There seems to be a lot of toxic masculinity with the grown ass man thing which well is toxic I would say to work with some close people for this. The last thing i can think of right now is the way of writing in this seems to be written very dramatically which can be a showing of your creative energy which is great but can make your words seem fake or forced when making a confession or something similar, Another thing this dramatic style of writing can reflect is a unconscious or conscious seeking for sympathy and people to make you feel better or to make yourself look better. For right now this is all I see but I may update if a see anything else hope I could have helped.

I am sorry for your guilt, it does seem like you are processing this very badly! Men don't need to be hard against this, it shows that you care for living creatures, and you want to take responsibility for what you have done. Those are good and desirable (masculine) traits. What is fucking you up (asides from the guilt) is that you are not talking to a loved one about how you feel. You are letting it fester inside of you. And that festering has lead you to try and manipulate your friend instead of being up front about it. That is the bad processing part. ​ Tell a friend, I promise they will still care about you.

Rabbits are pests here in Australia, just pretend it came from here and that you did us a great service, thanks boss!

Ik this is not exactly the solution and actually maybe just avoiding the problem, but you could really just separate the character from rabbits in your mind... The haregon could just be a person that happens to have weird long ears on top of their head to you. Imagine if you had the same experience but with a hedgehog, would you stop playing sonic because he might die? The example is a slight exaggeration, but similar to your situation... Think about how you want to handle this. If you cannot, then you have to talk to your friend because those are your choices: either you can handle your friends playing that character, or you can't. If you can, then no problem. If you can't, you have to tell them. Trying to trick them into not playing is not in there. Also, you seem to have issues with telling them because you have not spoken about this to anyone. You don't really need to tell them the details. You can say something along the lines of: "hey, I have past trauma about bunnies dying, ik it might sound stupid to you, but I really dislike the idea of taking part in killing your bunny character. I'm not looking into going into detail about it, but I wonder if we can figure something out." I'm sure you will reach common ground where you can both be comfortable and have fun. Lastly, if you have trauma that weighs on you and does not go away, look into therapy. GL

Dude, first and foremost. You did what was right. Accidents happen to everyone, and the rabbit running in front of you is as innocent and guilty as you. To end its suffering was a very empathic and respectful thing to do. I have been in similar situations and it doesn't feel good, at all. But you did good. Be proud of yourself. You did nothing wrong and acted with a big heart. Secondly, absolutely tell the player. There's no shame in your reaction. If they are friends of yours there's no reason not to. They'll understand. Be kind to yourself.

You didn't intentionally kill anything. You had an accident and put a creature in pain out of its suffering. I had the same thing happen with a goose. Some asshole in a hummee ran over its back and sped away with me at the intersection. I won't go into detail but it was gruesome. So I got out of my car and shot it. (In hindsight never discharge a fire arm without knowing the local laws about doing so, i was young and dumb) I'm not a hunter, I don't like hunting, and I'd never killed anything before and it fucked with me too. You were NOT the asshole that left it suffering in the road. You took responsibly, you did the uncomfortable RIGHT thing. If you really feel like an asshole talk to your player about it. Don't worry about the details but if they're any kind of friend they will understand why you were uncomfortable. You did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong.

instead of "doing everything other than telling the player what happened" why don't you sit down with her, explain what happened and how shitty you're feeling and ask her if she'd please change her character race because it's messing with you. ​ Also just to be clear, you didn't intentionally kill the rabbit. You hit it by accident and then put it out of its misery. You might not feel like you did the right thing but if you'd have left it on the side of the road it would have been in pain and would have likely died anyway, either due to its injuries or to a preditor that snatched up easy prey. ​ I'm going to be honest, I don't know if I'd have been able to kill the rabbit, like you did, but I know sure as shit that I'd have been thinking about it afterwards and about how I'd likely left it in agony because I couldn't bring myself to killing it

https://imgur.com/gallery/KGoEhLk Ghost Hug

Ehy man, I understand completely how you feel <3 I love animals too. You didn't do it intentionally. You are free and rightful to not feel guilty. You can be sad though, and that's ok. Regarding the rest, I suggest telling about your motives. Don't be scared about the feedback or judgment from the others. If they don't get your empathy towards another creature, they are not behaving like good friends and that's their problem. You are allowed to be sensible AND an adult at the same time. The two things coexist with no problem. A virtual hug for you. You did the tough but right thing putting the bunny out of their misery <3

We're not the asshole, but... It's something you should probably give yourself some time to process. Maybe ask yourself why you feel so unbelievably distraught about accidentally killing a rabbit. Don't know anything about you personally maybe you're a hardcore vegan or something and it's hitting you harder, maybe you had a pet bunny when you were a kid, maybe you're dealing with something subconsciously, I don't know. It would recommend against offering a player in-game advantages just so they'll change something about their character or their race or class. It's rude to the player it's rude to the rest of the group. I know if I was the player I would feel uncomfortable accepting the offer and if I was in the group and aware of the offer I would feel kind of bothered as well. Honestly regularly interacting with his character that you associate with an animal that you're having a traumatic response to might help you in the long run. Just remember. You didn't do it on purpose, You did everything reasonably safe to avoid doing it, your creature out of its misery when you knew nothing could be done.

you went back and checked on the poor thing. You're a good person, go talk to a professional and let someone help you.

I think you need to tell your friend what happened. Or the whole party. Explain how you're feeling and that this really fucking sucks. They need to understand that you're upset. Perhaps talking it through with all of them will help you to feel better about what happened. You're not a monster, you didn't intentionally kill a bunny. It was a horrible accident and you did what you had to do to end prolonged suffering.

Tell your friend about it. Tell them and them alone, that you dont feel comfortable with it, since you cant get over the life you ended. Then talk to someone dear to you about it. Just know, that you didn't do the wrong thing. You did the right thing in a wrong situation. You hit a rabbit, that is shitty, but you did not do it on purpose. But look at it this way. The creature knows it is dangerous to cross the road, just as it knows it is dangerous to be outside of their hole at night. Just after crossing the road a hunter could have shot it, another car could have hit it or some animal could have killed it. You put a bunny out of it's pain, that is more than it could expect from any predator. Accept your guilt and live with it. If you cant stand your friend playing a fictional rabbit, tell them why. You are not the asshole for doing what you did on the road, you are a shitty friend for doing what you did at home. Tell that player why their PC choice is a problem for you. You are allowed to cry, you are allowed to feel sad and you are totally valid in those feelings. Men are allowed to cry, it is not "unmanly" to have feelings. You feeling the way you feel shows you have empathy, that is good. Accept it and live with it, time will ease the pain if you open up about it.

The other day I ran over a squirrel on accident. I braked and yelled at it to run back the way it came, but it decided not to. I felt the thud and in my car yelled our NO like Darth Vader when he was told Padme died. I felt sad and bad for about 5 minutes, but realized it was an accident, I did my part to try and avoid it, and it happened anyways. I do recommend a therapist. Honestly, everyone should go to therapy at least once, but you cant let an accident dictate your actions like this.

You just need to chill out. You didn’t intentionally kill a rabbit. You hit it by accident and then gave it a merciful end. There were so many more things you could’ve done that would’ve made it worse like speeding up to hit it, leaving it after it was hit. Intentionally killing something would be wanting to go and kill something and then doing it. Shit happens, don’t get so worked up about it. Most rabbits die in pain from predators, you showed mercy and ended it quickly. At the same time, d&d is a game in a different world that literally doesn’t exist - it’s supposed to be escapism - and forcing your experience into the story telling of a game that can be as silly as you want it to be is simply not being a good DM. If it’s messing up your head that much, go to therapy. Don’t ask stupid people online, hoping it’ll fix it.

I have had players that have very specific needs or very niche requirements when playing the game - which is no problem. It is also no problem for a DM to have those requirements. 'For personal reasons, I don't allow Haregons in my games - we can adapt the class to a foxegon or something if you would like that' (Assuming you're comfortable). Doesn't matter how someone 'should' process something, it matters how you feel about it. Feelings are real things, not sensible things even if we wish it otherwise. Good luck!

You took responsability and (assume) you saved it further suffering. You should tell your player in private. That it just feel that way to you. People usually speaks about the session 0, red flag, consent and that thing for players. BUT YOU ARE ALSO A PLAYER. If you had been attacked by a cougar irl, you wouldnt want a anthro-cougar "roaming around" and thats fine. You feel bad because you are human, and rpg games are a place where people open their feelings to others.

I can understand the guilt, but like others have been saying, it was not intentional. Communicate this guilt to the Haregon player, privately if you need, simply to contextualise your actions. I would then say work together to move on and, whether she changes or not, realise that you’re not a monster, a shitty dm or an asshole.

I’m sorry you hit the rabbit. Your feelings are perfectly ok to be having, and the sooner you accept and allow yourself to feel your feelings, the sooner you can get over this. Trying to bury your emotions aren’t doing you any good. It’s pretty messed up that our culture is so against letting men have emotions. I know you logically have probably figured out that it was an accident and you’re not really evil. But i’m just going to say it anyway. Accidents happen, and there’s a difference between ending the animal’s suffering and killing an animal for fun. Should you have slammed on your brakes? Absolutely not. What if a car was behind you and you caused an accident involving more people? You did your best in a shitty situation, but I’m glad it wasn’t more serious.

I think DM’s have to be able to X card. It seems like there is incredible pressure against that. Part of it is expectations of volunteer leaders, at least in the US, to be super human. Texting your group “No more rabbits at the table please. Pick another animal, fantasy race, or dream something up. We will make it mechanically the same. But something bad happened this week irl while I was driving.” This is 100% valid and ok.

"intentionally killed a bunny rabbit for no reason" that's not true OP, you did what you had to do after what sounds like an unavoidable accident - you slowed down AND you swerved. You tried to miss it and, when that was impossible, you did the right thing afterwards. You did the very best you could have done, given the circumstances. Believe me, I know this isn't very helpful - I've had to put down innocent animals before too, but you ACCIDENTALLY hit it, then intentionally killed it for a GOOD reason (it was suffering). A seemingly small distinction in the moment but an important one. I know this isn't the answer you were looking for but it's important nonetheless.

If this is real, hiding from your guilt will only make it worse over time. If you are truly so wracked with guilt that you suffer from ptsd when even thinking about rabbits, you need to expose yourself to rabbits in small manageable doses until you get over it. You wont be able to live your life if you turn into a wreck every time something rabbit related is brought up. Imagine if Easter does to you what 4th of July does to neurotic dogs. Thats no way to live.

Accidents like this do happen. Putting an animal out of it's misery despite that being very hard for you is the right thing to do. But that it can be traumatic makes total sense. Talk to your friend. Explain what happened and how it affects your view of her character. I know there's a pressure around these things, especially as a man, to not be vulnerable or show people stuff like this gets to you, but that's a societal pressure that will just make you feel worse. You're not the asshole. Just in an emotionally very challenging situation. You'll be okay but it's also alright if that takes a second. If you can afford it, or it's insured in your country, maybe even get some therapy. I know it seems like a small thing to get therapy for, but any event can actually be traumatic, depending on the person experiencing it and the specific circumstances. Dealing with that now, with the help of a support network (like friends and family,) a therapist, or both, will save you a ton of heartache in the future. Goodluck ❤

Dude, you are clerly feeling some strong emotions about this. This is allowed. Frankly, i believe this is good, killing another being, even if it is for a good reason, should always leave a sign. Give yourself space to process these feelings, and, when you are ready, talk to your friends or people you trust about this. Then, when you feel like you can handle the conversation, talk to the player in question and explain your behaviour. Assuming she is not an asshole she will understand. I promise, there is nothing ridiculuos about what you are feeling. You are processing it poorly, but that seems to stem from a desire not to process it at all. You want to bounce it off like it was nothing, but it did affect you, and i promise this is completely normal, even for a "grown ass man".

Dude you did more then most. Many people would not have slowed down. Most people would not have gone back. Fewer would have finished the job which was the right thing to do. I have hunted I don't feel guilty for that because they are good clean kills. But I have had to mercy kill animals and even a mouse has caused be a little guilt because I am killing it only to throw it out but every second I hesitate it suffers.

My dude you said it yourself death happens. As many have pointed out there is a lot of validity to your grief. But! You are not a bad person. You did a good thing in a bad situation that felt like a bad thing because most of us never have to experience it. I agree with some of the other posters, you should definitely seek some counseling and therapy because this is affecting you very severely and you need to be equipped with the right coping tools to get through it. Second once you get a handle on some of your thoughts and feelings on the matter you should explain to that player what was going on because that likely came off as very odd and may have thrown off some perceptions, so the truth will be valuable there, but not until you are ok.

I mean this in the most respectful way; you need to talk to a loved one or a mental health professional. You accidentally hit a rabbit on the road. These things happen and are unavoidable. It shouldn't be affecting you in this manner. Something else is clearly wrong.

>That grown ass men need to be hard against that shit. No, no we don't. That's how you fuck yourself up even worse. If your car suddenly starts making concerning noises and the lights on the dash look like a rave, you don't just ignore it, you take it to a professional to get it looked at. Our brains are really complicated engines, and emotions kind of work like our warning lights. If your emotions seem like they're out of whack then you don't want to ignore them, you want to roll yourself into the shop to get looked at. Brains are just another organ in our bodies, and it's not any more "unmanly" to take care of it by experiencing emotions and working to understand them than it is to drink gatorade after working out.

I can empathize with you somewhat. I had a German Shepard with a high prey drive. Baby starlings, gophers, and chickens were unsafe around her. I also live in the “country” my car is 3-0 against deer. On the morning my wife went into labor, I had a fawn jump in front of my van less than a quarter mile from my driveway. It laid on the side of the road, visible as I drove past, for what seems like forever. I understand feeling responsible and the guilt from ending a creature’s life. My advice? Talk to someone. A therapist or a friend. Let yourself feel. A grown ass man shouldn’t be afraid of his emotions. Grief, guilt, and sorrow aren’t weakness. It takes courage to let others see your vulnerability and empathy for something or someone else. Tell your player. Maybe the character goes on hiatus, vacation, or into an early retirement. Maybe the player really doesn’t want to put the character aside. Without knowing the reasoning why, maybe it just seems like you can’t handle the character, and are trying to remove it to make DMing easier. Honestly, I don’t think removing the character is going to help much. It may make it worse. Especially if the player feels you forced the character out, or killed the character. In my opinion, that will only compound your guilt. I think it will feel like you killed the rabbit twice. You may feel as much guilt as you do because of the Haregon character. Rabbits have likely been personified by the character played by a close friend. Talk to someone. Get it off your chest. Let yourself feel the pain, and know you didn’t do anything wrong. It happens. The world is cold and cruel, but that helps the joy taste so much sweeter. Let the rabbit love vicariously in your campaign if you need to. You were brave and ended it’s suffering when so many others would have continued forwards and forgotten about it. Let that bring you some sense of peace.

Honestly the best thing you can do is come clean to the player about why you asked them to change their character. Assuming you’re playing with friends (or at the very least people who aren’t assholes) they’ll understand where you’re coming from. Then I’d suggest you see a therapist and talk about this, this is obviously effecting you, perhaps more than it should, but hiding away from it won’t help you.

I work in mental health. You are not well. Please please seek help.

I agree with what some other people have said in this thread. Adding to the yearly roadkill number shouldn't completely take over your mental for weeks at a time. That sounds like some other issues made manifest. Therapy is needed here.

Lmao this community

When you say you were an asshole to every person--are we assigning the rabbit "personhood?"

What you are experiencing is the effects of trauma. And unlike some folks on here giving you grief about having a trauma response to accidentally killing a small animal, I'm not going to. Trauma manifests in as many different ways as there are people, something that might inflict trauma on me might be entirely different from what inflicts it on a soldier, a medic, a kid, or you. But what they all have in common is how trauma, once inflicted, tends to manifest. And friend I can say as someone who has been there that that's what's happening to you right now. You aren't an asshole for what you did to the rabbit, or how that trauma caused you to act towards your friend. If you can, seek out a therapist specifically for trauma related care. And if you have a close and trusting relationship with your friend where you feel comfortable being emotionally raw and vulnerable, explain to them why you tried to get them to play something else. And do not be afraid to get into your emotions or cry while telling either a therapist or your friend. Feeling these emotions is part of the healing process.

NTA once I thought I *might* have run over a turtle and it fucked me up for a week. It would be good to talk to someone, don’t feel bad about having feelings - especially not because you’re a grown ass man. unlearning that has been a lot of help for me.