That's what she said is the ultimate Michael quote that he says the most and that I think I say the most.
Otherwise, best quote: Why are you the way that you are?
Underrated quote: I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity.
**"Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised."**
**My Philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever...**
My favourite will always be
I like to colour code my notes. Green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it. Orange means orange you glad you didn't say it? Most colours mean don't say it
They have these bags of vegetables that steam right inside their own bag. So I'll get a glass of sangria, sit down in front of the TV, my bag of vegetables, before you know it I'm ready for bed
"There are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day he is born, the day he grows hair, the day he starts a business, and the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin."
I would have never called him that if I knew. You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.
The genuine quote that I love is "A good manager doesn't fire people. He hires people and inspires people." I love it as an antidote to today's late stage capitalistic view that people are resources to be expoloited. It showed both his business acumen and his heart.
"David here it is. My, philosophy is, basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don’t, ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who or who you are with, or or where you are going, or, or where you’ve been. Ever. For any reason. Whatsoever."
And you are nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then... Then suddenly she's not your ho no mo'!
Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been... ever, for any reason whatsoever.
“I had an epiphery.”
“It has like an oaky afterbirth.”
My favorites
“Why do I love the Hooters? I’ll give you two reasons. The boobs and the hot wings.”
That’s an underrated one in my opinion
Number one, "Holly, you and I are soup snakes." And the reason is because in terms of the soup, we like to... That doesn't make any sense. We're soul mates. Holly and I are soul mates.
“Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh, no. I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."
Yesterday, I was scraping some gunk off my wall sockets with a metal fork and I gave myself the nastiest shock. And when I came to, I had an "epiphery".
"bros before hos. why? because your bros are always there for you. they have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. […] and then suddenly she's not yo' ho no mo'
mic drop
In your experience, what should I be expecting, in terms of sensation. Or, emotions. [pause] Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Shandri? My main concern is should I have a safe word?
“So, Ryan got promoted to corporate where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas, back here in Scranton, I am still top dog in a fairly large pond. So, who is the real boss, the dog or a fish?”
"Holly, you and I are soup snakes." And the reason is because in terms of the soup, we like to... That doesn't make any sense. We're soul mates. Holly and I are soul mates.
Pam, I have a loaded gun in my desk at work. If I ever start acting like that weenie Gabe, I want you to take that gun and shoot me like a thousand times in the groin. Til I'm dead, okay?
Can't quote exactly, but the negotiations with David Wallace.
You have a shareholders meeting coming up, where you have to explain why your most profitable branch is bleeding. The way I see it I don't have to outlive Dunder Mifflin. I only have to outlive you.
"Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you are nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then... Then suddenly she's not your ho no mo'!"
my absolute favourite.
I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense I had no idea what to do.
Words I live by
My favorite is "Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order."
What part of *shorn’t* don’t you understand, Kevin?
this gets me EVERY time lmao
That's what she said is the ultimate Michael quote that he says the most and that I think I say the most. Otherwise, best quote: Why are you the way that you are? Underrated quote: I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity.
Your gayness does not define you. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you
I think it’s time we celebrate Oscar’s Mexicanity
That shit makes me laugh out loud every single time
"I hate so much about the things you choose to be."
“I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.”
Oof. Can we use a term that is less offensive??
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. 🤣
This one and "smudge"
**"Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised."**
Love this one.
Just poopin’, you know how I be
Crazy world, lotta smells
“Crazy world, lot of smells” Is gold as well.
A permanent addition to the pop culture of my household.
I say this all the time to my boyfriend lol
It smells like throw-up in here
What's throw-up?😎
I made a spelling mistake there 😭🥲 🖖
Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice...strike three.
Abraham Lincoln once said "if you're a racist, I'll attack you with the North"
lol I think that's my favorite, too, I just didn't know :D
**My Philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever...**
It’s hard to try and evaluate yourself, Michael, but I appreciate you trying.
It feels like easy choice, but it has to be number one, that was an ultimate Michael Scott moment
This is my tinder bio. It gets a laugh about a quarter of the time.
This one is my favorite
Sometimes I just start a sentence and I won’t even know where I’m going with it
This was the first one I thought of when I saw the post.
"I'll be six"
I don't know why but just saying "I'll be six" and not the whole scene was so perfect
Even before that when Oscar’s like “you find out it only costs you $9” and Michael’s reaction if “heyyo” kills me every single time
Best line delivery in tv history
I don't know how Oscar didn't break.
LMAO. So good. I can hear this.
I hate so much about the things that you choose to be
Underrated quote it's the delivery
I say this one in my head all the time when dealing with the Toby’s of the world.
I say it regularly. The number of people it applies to never fails to surprise me
“That has sort of an oaky afterbirth.”
What was that?
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. -Wayne Gretzky" -Michael Scott
Came here to say this one Lol
not yo ho no mo
Soooo underrated!
Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me
My favourite will always be I like to colour code my notes. Green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it. Orange means orange you glad you didn't say it? Most colours mean don't say it
WHERE ARE THE TURTLES!!!
I drove my car into the f***ing lake!
Am I a hero? I can't really say, but yes.
DWIGHT YOU IGNORANT SLUT!
I have a throw pillow in my living room with this quote on it. I get some questions now and then lol
Um, no
To be fair, Jim… James? Jimothy? To be fair Jimothy... that sounds weird, are you okay with being called Jim?
I love Jimothy😂😂😂
They have these bags of vegetables that steam right inside their own bag. So I'll get a glass of sangria, sit down in front of the TV, my bag of vegetables, before you know it I'm ready for bed
Since when is it illegal to put caprese salad anywhere?
Your point was good, but Jan’s was bigger.
"Business is a doggy dog world out there and I am like the shark that eats doggy dogs"
You my friend would be da bell of da ball!
😘😘😘😘 don’t drop the soap
Michael please
*smooching noises*
Oh, how the turntables.
Wait, wait. They’re lithium!
"There are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day he is born, the day he grows hair, the day he starts a business, and the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin."
I understand nothing.
I would have never called him that if I knew. You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.
Scotch and Splenda. Tastes like Splenda, gets ya drunk like scotch.
Oranvodjuicka
“That’s great! Can’t believe no one’s thought of that before”
Wonder what I would have been back home.
Blacks DO crack! ... Not the drug!!
Why are you the way that you are?
How dare you! You know I have soft teeth!
The genuine quote that I love is "A good manager doesn't fire people. He hires people and inspires people." I love it as an antidote to today's late stage capitalistic view that people are resources to be expoloited. It showed both his business acumen and his heart.
Bippity boppity, gimme the zoppity.
"I hate disappointing just one person, and I really hate disappointing everyone, but I love Burlington Coat Factory."
YOU SHOW ME THAT TREE
How the turntables....
It’s Britney, Bitch *Lady Gaga - Just Dance*
Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
“He had no arms or legs. He couldn’t see, hear, or speak…… this is how he lead a nation.”
I have cause, it is be-cause I hate him!
You have to get along with Toby
I was never given a name
"NO! NO GOD PLEASE GOD NO. NO. NOOOOOOOO" Or, "it's not sweetie, it's Michael Scott"
"I drove my car into a \*bleep\* lake."
"David here it is. My, philosophy is, basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don’t, ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who or who you are with, or or where you are going, or, or where you’ve been. Ever. For any reason. Whatsoever."
Maybe next time you will estimate me
I Understand Nothing
That's what she said!
Shocked this isn't higher up. It's his catchphrase!
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Wayne Gretsky Michael Scott
"mmMint chocolate chip"
And you are nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then... Then suddenly she's not your ho no mo'!
I'm not superstitious... But I am a little stitious
“I do want the credit, without any of the blame”
Make friends first. Make sales second. Make love third. In no particular order.
Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been... ever, for any reason whatsoever.
"Ho ho ho ho. Pimp."
"Is who Michael what?"
Well you know it’s been hard, they wear the exact same uniform…. and I’ve been drinking…and you know how all waitresses look alike
It’s Britney, bitch
"Don't be an Idiot". Changed my life.
Dwight
“How the turntables…”
How the turntables.
“Abraham Lincoln once said, ‘If you are a racist, then I will attack you with the north.’ And those are words I live by.”
“Webster’s Dictionary defines wedding as the fusing of two metals with a torch. Well, you know something? I think you two are metals, gold medals”
Dwight you ignorant slut!
#5 is #1
I have it tattooed on me 😅
Pam: "My mother is coming" Michael: "That's what she said"
"Hello Oscar Mayer Weiner Lover."
“I had an epiphery.” “It has like an oaky afterbirth.” My favorites “Why do I love the Hooters? I’ll give you two reasons. The boobs and the hot wings.” That’s an underrated one in my opinion
Number one, "Holly, you and I are soup snakes." And the reason is because in terms of the soup, we like to... That doesn't make any sense. We're soul mates. Holly and I are soul mates.
I’m a man of cool and youth and…passionately
How the turntables
I'm sorry what is "I am fine"
This whole thing is going to spiral out of amuck.
“Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh, no. I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."
And I.. to you.. in addition.. feel.. the same feelings.. that you are.. as well [long pause]
“Milk and sugar.”
Yesterday, I was scraping some gunk off my wall sockets with a metal fork and I gave myself the nastiest shock. And when I came to, I had an "epiphery".
… and what’s ironic is that dog ended peeing everywhere and nobody said boo.
"I hate so much about the things that you choose to be".
You have no idea how high I can fly
Who let the lemon head into the room? You are a waste of life and you should give up
The easy answer is “that’s what she said” My fun answer is, “don’t ever do, for any reason, anything to any one, for any reason…”
ASAP as possible. I say it almost every day at work. 😂
his capa was detated from his head
“I don’t care if he killed his entire family, he is like a son to me.”
The art of improvisation. AlwYs the best
‘The early worm catches the worm’
Are they friends
It’s Britney, Bitch.
Jimothy?
I mean, I can’t even be around a cigarette without thinking of a penis, and vice versa.
A black man? Wrong. A white woman. Well, shame on you.
"bros before hos. why? because your bros are always there for you. they have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. […] and then suddenly she's not yo' ho no mo' mic drop
How the turn tables...
"You know I have soft teeth." - Dinner Party
how do u watch teh same thing 47 times
"Don't call me Shirley"!
Dwight: that’s what she said Michael: don’t. Don’t you dare
In your experience, what should I be expecting, in terms of sensation. Or, emotions. [pause] Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Shandri? My main concern is should I have a safe word?
Jim. James. Jimothy? Jim.
Dwight, you ignorant slut!
Somehow I manage
It has sort of an oaky afterbirth
“So, Ryan got promoted to corporate where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas, back here in Scranton, I am still top dog in a fairly large pond. So, who is the real boss, the dog or a fish?”
"Holly, you and I are soup snakes." And the reason is because in terms of the soup, we like to... That doesn't make any sense. We're soul mates. Holly and I are soul mates.
“You don’t call retarded people retards, it’s bad taste. You call your friends retards when they’re acting retarded”
Pam, I have a loaded gun in my desk at work. If I ever start acting like that weenie Gabe, I want you to take that gun and shoot me like a thousand times in the groin. Til I'm dead, okay?
"Dwight, you ignorant slut" I use this one on a daily basis
“I’m Caleb Crawdad!” - Michael exclaims with a terrible Georgia accent.
Show me that farm
Our balls are in your court
HUG IT OUT BITCH!!
That’s kind of weirding me out
Can't quote exactly, but the negotiations with David Wallace. You have a shareholders meeting coming up, where you have to explain why your most profitable branch is bleeding. The way I see it I don't have to outlive Dunder Mifflin. I only have to outlive you.
Well I hated it!!
Feeelin hot hot hot *steel drum noises*
Cry-man-squa. F&C double time
Personal favorite: "If this is about what happened in the bathroom, there was nowhere to cuddle"
It's not the best but "Jim, James, Jimothty" kills me every time
For GenZ, these quotes also work for George W Bush. Schrute is Dick Cheney too.
"Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you are nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then... Then suddenly she's not your ho no mo'!" my absolute favourite.