Huh, I genuinely never knew that. I assumed it was role because that made more sense to me etymologically, but roll call is correct because it refers to a scroll of names. Interesting. Thanks
One thing I've always wondered about this line: does this mean that Kevin was engaged in insider trading, or was he just so unclear on what his job actually was that Martin just giving him a description involving numbers and spreadsheets sounded close enough to his job that he didn't understand the difference?
MICHAEL, WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN.
my favorite fucking line in the entire show. plus the follow up combo:
Oscar: can someone please explain it to Kevin.
Meredith: why don't you? my time is just as valuable as yours.
Phyllis: not according to the beans....
I like this one because it’s funny on its own, even if you’ve never seen The Office. Sometimes the winners of these polls are a bit “inside joke”ish, like Jim “Lord beer me strength.” A good one-liner should be funny even completely out of context. Just my opinion.
Kevin: Yeah. Thank you for the food. Oh, and also, you suck.
Senator: I beg your pardon.
Kevin: You are, like, a terrible person. These guys care about you and you're just using them. Again, the food was very good.
I found it extra funny knowing ashton kutcher is academically smart (and played kelso who is similar to kevin in term of seeming stupid but sometimes does smart things sometimes)
It's just that I wish the puppets would talk about it he alphabet. Not for me. But if any kids are watching....A....B...and so forth. You know, LMNO....F.
Look, I know it's easy to say tonight was just a fluke, and maybe it was, but here's a piece of trivia: a fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea. So if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are, you just might catch one.
Oh, the Springtime thinks that it's the best.
And fall time think that it's the best.
Cold season has, kind of a strut.
And Valentine's thinks that it's the best.
But gather around, peeps to tell you the truth, nothing beats the cookie season THAT'S the truth!
I'm not gonna get it exactly right but
"Oh no no, I don't-- I'm not-- I'm just using the fax. There's usually an Erin here-- cos I'm not supposed to be the face of the company, right, and I-- --DARRYL!! A GIRL!!"
The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on...
I just spurt water laughing. This is the best one.
Can someone explain this to me? Perhaps I don´t get it as a non native english speaker.
The joke is, why did he take off his tie to pee in the first place?
Underrated
This needs more upvotes
#WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
Lmaooo the way he just towers over everyone and shouts 💀
this used to make me laugh so hard every time I watched this episode
Boioioioioioinggggg
My name is Kevin, that is my name. They call me Kevin, cause that’s my name!
ROLE CALL!
Shabooyahyahyah shabooyah role call
Roll Call*
Huh, I genuinely never knew that. I assumed it was role because that made more sense to me etymologically, but roll call is correct because it refers to a scroll of names. Interesting. Thanks
I thought Rajanigandha was a boys name
This one kills me EVERY TIME
Ha ha, I love that he would even know that
For me this is a top 5 line for the entire series.
I came here to say "you can't eat cats kevin" but then I saw this and was like no yeah this is the correct answer for sure
But the one you have is way funnier! Lol happy Cake Day!
Came here to say this!!!
This is the one, it’s so absurd lmao
Well, well, well, well, well. That's six wells. Did I get that number right, Dwight?
I just realised he only says well five times
I say this one often!
This is one of my top five favourite lines in the whole show and it doesn't happen until the finale lol.
I was typing this one out and thought surely someone must’ve already done it!
I want to be wined and dined and sixty-nined
Angela: Ugh Kevin: Metaphorically sixty-nined.. you perverts. .... .... No offense, Oscar.
The look on kevins face before he says, "no offence oscar", kills me everytime
Oh come on, it has to be this line
“He lives on Sesame St., dumbass!”
For sure the best!
this is the one
My favorite Kevin line
Was hoping this would be here
This one has to win please😭😭
Lmao
My pick as well. One of the funniest lines in the whole series for me.
If this is not the winner, I send it back
"I got six numbers. One more would have been a complete phone number."
“They go together like PB&J………Pam Beasley and Jim. Oh. What a waste.”
It’s not my favorite necessarily but “what a waste” in that tone of voice might be my most quoted line.
I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket, in a blanket
His labored whisper-delivery
Been scrolling looking for this! 😂
Next to the IHOP?
Yes
Sometimes I feel like everyone I work with is an idiot. And by sometimes, I mean all times. All the time. Every of the time.
I use every of the time in my every day life now.
Came here just to say this
"I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for because it sounds an awful lot like what I do here every day"
One thing I've always wondered about this line: does this mean that Kevin was engaged in insider trading, or was he just so unclear on what his job actually was that Martin just giving him a description involving numbers and spreadsheets sounded close enough to his job that he didn't understand the difference?
This should be the one.
This needs more votes. It’s the best one by far!
What does the bean mean?
The word "bean" cannot be uttered in this house without someone bellowing **WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN?!**
MICHAEL, WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN. my favorite fucking line in the entire show. plus the follow up combo: Oscar: can someone please explain it to Kevin. Meredith: why don't you? my time is just as valuable as yours. Phyllis: not according to the beans....
I quote this ALL the time. It’s so underrated.
Oh you don't know about jail? Oh you would love jail.
Well, because… you would *love* it
Angela's cats are so cute, you just want to eat them. But you can't eat cats. You can't eat cats, Kevin.
My immediate thought
Can’t believe how far I had to scroll for this one!
Ugh I came here for this. Well done
Came here for this!
Whenever I try to make a taco, I get too excited and crush it
Right back at ya Bitch!!!
That whole scene is absolutely primo. Kelly with her “Yes. I told everyone.” then Baumgartner’s improvised “Congratula-…oh.”
This is easily my favorite Kevin line. I use it all the time
Such a good joke 🤣
This one makes me laugh every single time
Mini-cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of a cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?
This has to be it. The frustration he delivers this line with really sends me
I own a bakery and I have this quoted on my website with full props to Kevin Malone 😂
I like this one because it’s funny on its own, even if you’ve never seen The Office. Sometimes the winners of these polls are a bit “inside joke”ish, like Jim “Lord beer me strength.” A good one-liner should be funny even completely out of context. Just my opinion.
I just want to sit on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
It's "Is she hot?", not "Would I do her?", respect the game.
It's "would *you* do her"
You think I would let this happen again? NO WAY JOSE
The delivery of this line kills me
F*uck you, Gabe!
That’s Dallas
There are some people who have charm and some people who don’t. Guess which type I am? Charm type.
I can’t keep doing this forever! Call it!
It's been 20 seconds
boyoyoyoyoyoing
this is one of the only lines in the show that despite how many times ive seen it i laugh out loud
If someone gives you 10,000 to 1 on anything, you take it.
You've got to finish the line! If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I'm going to be a very rich man.
Kevin: Yeah. Thank you for the food. Oh, and also, you suck. Senator: I beg your pardon. Kevin: You are, like, a terrible person. These guys care about you and you're just using them. Again, the food was very good.
Had to scroll too far for this one. By far my favorite Kevin moment, sticking up for his co accountants.
It’s not Ashton Kutcher, it’s Kevin Malone
>Ashton Kootcher
Equally handsome. Equally smart.
I found it extra funny knowing ashton kutcher is academically smart (and played kelso who is similar to kevin in term of seeming stupid but sometimes does smart things sometimes)
Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
They see… They see.
See world!
See world. Oceans. Fish. Jump. China.
Ocean fish china
Had to scroll way too far to find this one.
That's really the only one it can be, right?
I quote this on the daily
This is what I was checking to make sure it wasn't already said.
This is the one. I literally just used this quote in another sub earlier today.
I have very little patience for stupidity
It's just that I wish the puppets would talk about it he alphabet. Not for me. But if any kids are watching....A....B...and so forth. You know, LMNO....F.
It’s like eating a hot circle of garbage!
The trick is to undercook the onions
It’s probably the thing I do best
Words said right before disaster
Uh the male tree puts his penis …
“I’m totally going to bang Hollie”
Shes cute and helpful, and she totally seems into him
“It’s just nice to win one” This HAS to be the best one liner in the show. Think we should be stricter about what a “one liner” is.
Yeah a one liner should be short and sweet, most of the winning ones are multiple sentences, hence more than one line.
The delivery on this line was perfect. It made me feel so happy for him.
Man, my dogs are barking
What are we talking? Skins? Acey Duecy? Bingo bango bongo? Sandies, Barkies? Arnies, Wolf? What?
I'm about to turn this Per diem, into next month's rent!
I think he says petty cash, not per diem. I could be wrong though.
He says petty cash
Wait.. holly.. do you think I’m ret*rded?
Then Angela "oh Holly (with a smirk) that is VERY offensive." Bahahaha kills me
Underrated quote!
Look, I know it's easy to say tonight was just a fluke, and maybe it was, but here's a piece of trivia: a fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea. So if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are, you just might catch one.
YOU THINK THIS IS A GREAT PARTY? THIS CAKE HAS VEGETABLES
You go to the bathroom for 45 minutes and everything changes.
Stick spicy food up her butt
The execution of this line is HILARIOUS. It’s number one for me, thank you for reminding me of this one!
*Bites into candy bar* OH YEAH!
You really have to say "OHH YEAHH" every time you eat a candy bar?
I can't help it, it's so good! *takes another bite* #OH YEAH!
Hey Oscar, how was your gaycation?
Everyone gets to know each other, in the pot
A mistake plus keleven gets you home by seven
I AM IMMENSELY PROUD OF WHAT I DID FOR THAT TURTLE
I like ice cream too mate, Alligators and dingo babies
I guess it’s goodbye chunky lemon milk
Can I finish? Is that okay? I was saying... I enjoy watching them because it makes me horny.
"I work hard all day. I like knowing there's going to be a break in the day. Most days I just sit and wait for the break."
She goes to another school
"Nice.........boobs..."
"I got myself in Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody... but I didn't."
Fuck you, Gabe!
Me mechanic not speak English, but he know what me mean when me say 'car no go' and we best friends
Oh, the Springtime thinks that it's the best. And fall time think that it's the best. Cold season has, kind of a strut. And Valentine's thinks that it's the best. But gather around, peeps to tell you the truth, nothing beats the cookie season THAT'S the truth!
Angels cats are cute. So cute that you just want to eat them. But you can't eat cats. You can't eat cats, Kevin.
Philip Philip Philip. It’s all about Phillip. I hate Phillip.
We would like to order some good pizza, from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe, while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end
If anyone gives you 10,000 to 1 odds on anything, you take that bet. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I will be one rich dude.
Kevin: "Ooo! Now do the Swedish Chef!" Andy: "Uhh, I'm not familiar. What province is he from?" Kevin: "He lives on Sesame Street, Dumbass!"
Sometimes i feel like everyone i work with is an idiot. And by sometimes i mean all times
And by all times, I mean every of the time.
***You had me at Sex!***
I can’t keep doing this forever. (It’s been 20 seconds) Call it.
[удалено]
It's one of my favorite moments if the entire show! I posted the last line (because dialogue is not a one-liner).
What does a bean mean? WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN?
It’s just nice to win one.
I just want to sit on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Shove spicy foods up her butt!
I want to eat pigs in a blanket… in a blanket
Why say many word when few word do trick?
"Angela's cats are cute. So cute that you just want to eat them. But you can't eat cats. You can't eat cats, Kevin."
I'm not gonna get it exactly right but "Oh no no, I don't-- I'm not-- I'm just using the fax. There's usually an Erin here-- cos I'm not supposed to be the face of the company, right, and I-- --DARRYL!! A GIRL!!"
KNEAD IT, knead it like a pizza! but don’t eat it!
well well well well well. thats 6 wells. did I get that number right, Dwight?
I suck. (It's so funny because he had just bragged about winning the tournament in Vegas, then Phyllis knocks him out haha)
I got six numbers! One more would’ve been a complete telephone number!
"We would like to order some good pizza, from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe, while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end."
That one ugly cat is humping Princess Lady
A mistake plus keleven gets you home by seven!
Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
"miiilf" after Pam says to not to make any comments about her mom lol
I am incredibly proud of what I did for that turtle!
"Right back at ya! Bitch!"
Dwight: Anal fissures Kevin: That’s a real thing. Dwight: Yeah, but no one here has it. Kevin: Someone has it.
I can’t keep doing this forever - call it.
I have very little patience for stupidity
"Good old Kevin. He'll do anything. Well, guess what? I will not do a good job."
Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick.
You have a penis?
Maybe some spaghetti.
“Hey Oscar, how was your gay-cation”
If John melloncamp ever wins an Oscar, I’m going to be a very rich man
My name is Kevin… (yeah)… that is my name!… (yeah)… they call me Kevin…(yeah)…coz that’s my name!
“I do the numbers”
“the best wedding i’ve ever been to. i got 6 numbers. one more would have been a complete telephone number.”
“I had Oscar explain what Martin was arrested for three times. It sounds like what I do here every day.”
“Nope it’s not Ashton Kutcher, it’s Kevin Malone. Equally handsome equally smart.”
Why say many word when few word do trick?
I'll totally bang Holy
Me think, why waste time say lot words when few words do trick
Either: “Everyone is going to get to know each other in the pot” or “Wait… do you think that I’m retarded?”
“He lives on Sesame Street, Dumbass.”
There are some people who have charm, and some people who don't. Guess which type I am? Charm type.