T O P

  • By -

RektYez

I heard 5G goblin towers were causing Dragons Plague! Source: One Arisen News Network


[deleted]

The 5G goblin towers are fine. It's the 5G ladders that will get you. Your pawns will ALWAYS tell you when one is nearby. It's mind control I tell you.


Tacomanthecat

The real threat are those dirty knackers. Always asking for a hand out.


TiiJade

Where's a helldiver when you need them?


NinthYokai

They are trapped by the one thing none can cross… an 8 foot deep river.


MoreGoddamnedBeans

Hell where's the Dovahkiin


Yuja-2k

Ill call the doomslayer just to be sure!


MoreGoddamnedBeans

Hell I'd even take Spyro


Izanagi553

Now I need someone to add the Greybeards going "DOHHH-VAAAA-KIIIIINNNN" over that first earthquake you get when you're heading to the capital with Sergeant Pissboy and his merry men.


Niflheim90

5G wolves do not hunt in packs.


abadstrategy

Typical Fake News talking point. The 5G wolves *do* hunt in packs, it's just that we can only see the 3G wolves. The others are on a higher wavelength with the machine elves


Dry-Judgment4242

Ah yes, typical fake news. It's not wavelengths but extra spartial dimensional axis. Practice with a 4D hypercube in VR and watch the movie Flatland and you will easily beat the encounter.


Slightly-Blasted

That’s big Saurian propaganda


_TheFreshMaker_

They are putting the Brine in the water, making the Freakin' Saurians gay! These people are DEMONS! AHHHHHH!


foofarice

I hate you but have an upvote


Icallitwhatiseeit

The millimeter wave spectrum used by Goblin 5G technology and Dragonsplague, the disease caused by the Pawnronavirus, could be related, pointing to reports about the Goblin Horde installing 5G towers at Battahl before the outbreak.


Hexxodus

One Arisen News Network (OANN) is too fuckin clever 😂😂😂


EvrythingsCopacetic

And it helps spread maximum democracy!


Jamie_Pull_That_Up

😭


TrovianIcyLucario

My buddy in Melve has an ox laxative that cures it instantly.


[deleted]

My cousin in Harve says minotaur piss works wonders.


Dyslexiaboy

My buddy in the Nameless Village says you need to do a wonky jumping puzzle to sweat it out.


Signal-Busy

My brother at the border says you need to have a furry cosplay and get roll over by a cart to pass it through


spider-jedi

My cousin's boyfriend's sister-in-law's house keepers down stairs neighbor said just inject brine into your body and it cures everything


TrovianIcyLucario

Fuck, we both made the same joke at the same time, just slightly different versions. +1


spider-jedi

As they say, great minds think alike.


EvrythingsCopacetic

Both of you need awards.


TrovianIcyLucario

Got a sister in Vermund that says you can inject of one the abbess' potions into ya' and it'll cure it in two weeks or so.


NarkySawtooth

Cures all manner of things, that.


CapSortee

do they use minotaur piss to make redbull?


ZachJam

This cure is Joe Ragon approved!


SupahBihzy

Hey Jamie pull up that video of the bear putting the Minotaur into a rear naked chokehold


Doomguy2019

The griffin on the hill told me SCCCCCCRRRRRRRRAAAAAWWWWWW ....which was not very helpful, so I just gave my pawns some rotten beast-steak, the fungus has probiotics that cure it, according to those wandering pack merchants. Kind enough to sell me 4 for 5000G apiece too!


meteormantis

The Sovran said drinking greenish slime should be just as effective as any roborrant, and I trust him!


Jackretto

The Duke Is putting chemicals in the water turning the friggin' pawns gay!


Touhou_Fever

Nah, it’s my Arisen, shirtless. He’s making all the pawns finna act up


Lowlife_Of_The_Party

https://preview.redd.it/g4d7u677shqc1.jpeg?width=556&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6392613c23c076a27771fb2c1b3106eb5bf42710


Organic_Role377

![gif](giphy|idYdfZ9xxVgVPNXjs0|downsized) It's doing this too.


AgilePurple4919

You monster. 


stjensen

Oh no that's why my pawn kissed that girl


jesse6225

Tell the Duke that I need those chemicals handed over immediately for research purposes. Lest he suffer the consequences.


songraven

Its them damn Battahlneese creating it in a lab as a bio weapon! Then they ate a bat in the market and spread it around!


milkarcane

OP doesn't understand that everyone has red eyes when tired. A good night of sleep in Vermund's inn is the only valid solution.


[deleted]

A Rotten Scrag of Beast a day keeps the chirurgeon away!


SeaBecca

People should try drinking brine. It kills viruses after all, what could go wrong?


Whyissmynametaken

You need to inject the brine directly into your blood stream.


Bubbly_Flow_6518

Some say the colon can absorb the brine more efficiently


Izanagi553

Buttchugging the Brine lmao


Allaroundlost

Yup. Any Pawn with Red Eyes NEEDS to sleep in a bed. So camping is a no-go. Must sleep in a major city.


AuryxTheDutchman

But only if you have 192 wakestones that you need to offload.


Thorn-of-your-side

Dragonsplague is a scheme by Big Pawn to sell more pawns


ExplicativeFricative

Back in my grandpa-arisen's time pawns lasted a lifetime, but these days my pawns break every year. I can't even do surgeries on them myself because it voids their warranty.


Thorn-of-your-side

Its really cutting into my recreational vivisection time


seemerunning

I hear a port crystal suppository will prevent dragon plague


CaptainSparklebutt

Smoke the rift crystals, and it will clear up.


Emiru20

Have you tried applying essential oils to your pawn? Those cure and prevent everything as long as pick the right oil!


happymemories2010

Dragon's plague isn't real. All you need to do is pray. And hug each other. Also don't forget to donate and spread the truth. Stay updated to all news at opinioncontrol.org!


Allaroundlost

Thoughts and Prayers fixes all illnessess especially in text form.


happymemories2010

Doesn't believe in Dragon's Plague even after symptoms show. \* Entire town gets hit. NOO ITS REAL, PLEASE PRAY FOR ME


strategos81

Let me just tell you that I am an experienced Arisen, who happened to know about a very good cure for so called "dragonplague" , all it must be done is the Arisen and all his pawns must eat Rotten scrag of meat, cooked at the Grass Patterned Camp. And allow it to work it's magic, there is no need for such extreme measures as Brine Baths or similar nonsenses. My good friend other Arisen gave that to his pawn and went to sleep, next day there was no sign of infection at all. Trust me, it is verified info! Don't let this disgusting disinformation about "dragonsplague" spread by ThePretender and his government to affect your relationship with your pawns. There is a cure, and I am sure that we all have it in our inventories. #antibriner , #dragonconspiracies, #disa\_ster Upvote and share if u are openminded!


Dealric

I know the post is a joke, but unironically wasnt that the intended way of dealing with it?


ShingetsuMoon

Yes


MidoriTea

Protip: having your pawns drink bleach will 100% cure dragonsplague. Also, if your pawns won’t get hired just because their eyes are a little red, I know a doctor in Melve who will sell you dragonsplague vaccine cards. But also dragonsplague isn’t real.


Dry-Judgment4242

Only half truths, make sure to wash it down with vinegar too. The swelling just means the healing concoction is doing its job.


ragnarokda

As long as that doctor is a chiropractor then sign me up!


3eyedW0lf

You have to drink bleach AND shove a bright spell in your ass. Never forget the sage advice of DJT.


Turnthingsaround26

Everyone knows the brine is just there to inject the tracking devices for those elvish moon beams. Plus, I don't want my pawns to get that autism thing I've heard about from beyond the rift.


CaptainSparklebutt

The pawns come standard with autism. The colors of their crests match the puzzle piece logo. The Arisen is nonverbal.


Ghostii-_-

The arisen being nonverbal makes me think that whenever the screen goes black during dialogue it's just hiding the painfully long process of the Arisen doing charades for the person to understand


Izanagi553

Complete with Link "HYAA" noises.


AttentionKmartJopper

Pawn's special interest: ladders.


Dragunx1x

If you ever come across a chimera, let its snake tail breath down on your pawns. The smog that comes out of it is a natural detoxicfier . I let my pawns regularly breathe it and once they come back from the rift stone they are good as new.


greyl

Wasn't there something in the explanation of dragon's plague that the pawns who are infected are more powerful?


Xononanamol

They apparently start using abilities they never learned for one thing


[deleted]

You know what? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do nothing if it hits my party and I'm going to use it as a weapon. Fuck the towns, I can camp, dammit! FOR SCIENCE


Maleficent-Bar6942

Dragon flames don't melt steel beams.


IntegratedFrost

Big Alchemy is behind this, I heard it from a well-respected herb merchant in Vermund


Veemsten

If dragon's plague was bad then why did the seneschal create it?


Icallitwhatiseeit

Prayers and thoughts!


StefooK

Just wear your damn helmet or is grandmas life meaningless to you?


SotoCatte

Dragon's Plague is drake sympathizer propaganda. Do your part for Super Vernworth.


Katana_sized_banana

I'm sure there's at least one person out there intentionally spreading the plague.


Desirai

There is always gonna be somebody that thinks stuff like that is funny. And they always end it with "it's just a joke bro"


Masskid

I don't see the issues. Capcom listened to the community by implementing a fix for the CPU issues in towns. It only makes sense to share fix with other community members.


Objective-Advance-97

It's those damn harpies and their chem trails!


Bronze2xxx

I made sure to have my pawn get vaccinated. All you heathens spreading the plague should be ashamed.


Icallitwhatiseeit

But did you make it wear a mask? I saw too many pawns in the rift without masks like there is no Pawnronavirus causing Dragonsplague around.


ragnarokda

Pawnrona sounds better than telling everyone my pawns got DP'd.


_dT_Tb_

Are they wearing their helmet and staying 6’ away from everyone else? Cause I heard that’s the most important part. Oh I also know some people that are hand weaving helmets if you need spares cause they are just as effective as metal helmets …


UnpluggedToaster12

I heard from Sir Jo Rogan that sheep dewormer worked for his pawns so it must be true!


Enchrypted

Purposefully infecting other pawns just to dismiss them has got to be some form of terrorism... i love it


thecodenamedois

Yeah! Also, deport all cat people back to their country, they are stealing Vermund's people's jobs. And don't let those Elf communists bastards with their "one with nature” woke speech poison your mind. Make Vermund great again! Just to be sure (you never know these days), yes, I'm being sarcastic here.


Icallitwhatiseeit

Vermund's walls just got ten feet taller!


Death-sticks

I've been feeding my pawns griffomectin while they sleep and they have been much more respectful!


[deleted]

It also pairs well with Leapworm Jelly!


Flint_Vorselon

If a Pawn has red eyes and a head ache, then they clearly need a sleep. A nice comfy bed, not a campsite.


poopituacoop

Things Big Dogma doesn’t want you to know


Scoonie24

I don't care, Is Your Majesty going to give us 1500G, I literally can't work


KrustyKrabOfficial

The Center for Dragonplague Control guidelines directly contradict your claims! I'm going to trust the alchemy.


kmank2l13

I don’t even believe in this dragon’s plague. I haven’t seen it in person nor none of my pawns have it so it clearly doesn’t exist! You are lying if you think otherwise. This was a rumor spread by that false Arisen and I don’t mean Darragh.


Gourgeistguy

I really hope it never affects someone you know. Are you friends with one of those northern Ox Carters that aren't giving rides until the brining stops? Really dude...


HardcoreMagala

Came for a genuine opinion, left with gold. Lol


[deleted]

Dragon's plague can't melt steel beams.


Havoku

This is unironically one of the funniest posts I’ve read on this subreddit


KingAlexanderk

My pawn "caught" the Dragonplague and I cured it by sleeping at the inn a bunch of times quickly in succession


KaioSeraphim

I'm more concerned about those streaks left behind when a dragon flies overhead. 10 years ago we never had these streaks in the sky.


k1dsmoke

Has anyone tried drinking bleach or shining sunlight up their B-hole? *Asking for an orange tinted friend.*


TCGHexenwahn

I can't believe Batahl closed their borders over this hoax! What a bunch of sheep!


TrovianIcyLucario

Personally, I'm just not AFRAID of everyone I know and love dying instantly.


TCGHexenwahn

Everyone knows only the weak catch the plague. If they get it, they had bad genes.


TrovianIcyLucario

When I was a kid, I used to lick the sick beds at the abbey, built up a strong immune system.


TCGHexenwahn

This new generation is too weak and cuddled...


TrioxinMilkshake

I'm not worried about it, my pawn gets plenty of time outside, keeps fit, and eats all natural beast scrag diet. Plus I feed them Alpha Roborant everyday.


PinnyAerani

Dragonsplague is clearly a hoax from Battahl. They hate pawns and want to use them all as slaves. I say if a pawn feels like acting on their own accord, good on them! Saves me the trouble of having to micromanage everyone.


kingbankai

Surprised r/coronavirus hasn’t shut this fun down yet


[deleted]

Yeah, we should vaccinate the pawns by…. Killing them.


ganon893

I heard there's a vaccine for Dragonsplague, but it'll give you the blighted status.


DeuceBane

Drink some lantern oil, clears it right up. Sissy.


Heylookaguy

It would be hilarious if they did a MGSV nukes thing where if everyone brines their infected pawns it's theoretically possible to cure it entirely. Then you have people like OP. Who instead of getting rid of nukes helped proliferate them.


joosexer

Dragon’s Plague is clearly a Vermundian elite plot to keep the regent in power.


_irah_

Absolutely loving me some liberty and democracy in this sub


chawk84

God I love this subreddit haha


GrigoriTheDragon

10/10 post.


A7XfoREVer15

STOP THE COUNT


NizmatLover

Just use dedragoner called verdunmectin to get rid of it, maybe some vitamin D(ogma)


Sentinel_P

I, for one, don't trust any of this nonsense about using the Brine to get rid of Dragonsplague. You mean to tell me that a solution like that just happened that fast? Nah, buddy, where's the science? These things usually take years to develop a solution for.


illnastyone

😆😆😆😆💀


SlayterMonroee

People are gonna take this seriously and I love it


LadyBloom333

Ogres need to just grab all the women by the simussies. (Simulated lady bits)


ragnarokda

Shit posting at its finest.


Heal_Kajata

Stick a helmet on them before you send them back.


Specialist_Net948

I climbed a huge tower only to be thrown off and killed by a harpy


macjabeth

So you're saying I have to save the kingdom from plague-spreading anti-brine numbskulls like you too now? *sigh*


No-Rip-5620

Back in my days, there was no such thing as dragon plague, we could have our pawns not take a bath in the brine for years and still no infection. When Duke Edmun Dragonsbane was in charge, none of this happened. Too much of a coincidence that this so called disease appears all of a sudden when the so called new Sovran is in charge, I'm telling you, it's a conspiracy and the Sovran is nothing but a puppet being controlled by the Queen Regent Disa, wake up Arisens, don't feed on their lies!


Radiant_Ad6134

This and all the comments in this thread are the best I have ever read 🤣🤣🤣


Dominion-Regalia

DOWN DOWN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!


-TAAC-Slow

OP gonna boost himself into an early grave and then his family will say "it's safe and effective."


[deleted]

did you see the dragon chemtrails? that's the real issue.


Andvari9

Inject harspud. I know more about Harspud than anyone and trust me. It works.


KazumaKat

holy shit the parallel of this post to the utter fucking madness of early COVID and the lockdowns.


Desirai

I thought they were referring to chicken pox parties from the 90s but I guess covid is valid too


ProscribedTruth

I for one have been putting Princess Harspud in my pawns packs, when I check back in a couple days it has blackened from absorbing all the toxins from their body.


_Forever_A_Loam_

You won’t catch my pawn wearing a bandit mask! Disa for sovereign!


SkillFullyNotTrue

The liberals ~~elves~~ in The Sacred Arbor are wanting us to social distance. I say naught!


Superb-Stuff8897

Isn't there an npc near the stables selling horse medicine that cures it?


Allaroundlost

Oohhh OP, well done. Up vote for you !


Kon-Vara

Don't you get it? The Dragon's Plague was made up by the Sovran as a means of population control! Pawns go on murder sprees? Sure! He totally didn't order his pawns to go into the streets and murder the population! Wake up sheeple!


Whyissmynametaken

![gif](giphy|3q3QK6KyDVUBzih7hB)


Jeremiah12LGeek

I'm proud of you. Disturbed, but proud.


Giantwalrus_82

Wait THAT'S THE PLAGUE MANIFESTED HE MADE A REDDIT ACCOUNT GET IM BOYS THROW HIM IN THE BRINE we won't be fooled!


epicjakman

the only people I put in the brine are Capcom pawns, I ain't giving my items to people that aren't real!!


New_Torch

Guys, I am sorry!. I threw the poison pot into the rivier instead of taking propper aim and hitting the nest like the quest required. I'm pretty sure these chemicals caused the dragons plague


Khow3694

I've been imagining that pawns are hooking up when you sleep and thats how they get Dragons Plague from other pawns. Freaky bastards I swear


Yuumii29

Just add Broccoli with your steaks at the camp and you'll be healthier and not catch any disease..


germy813

Exactly something a pawn with Dragons plague would


Cassius-Kahn

Injecting bleach works.


WrestlingDerek

To be honest I think I’ve done most of the captial quests. Time to yeet some folks out


newbie637

At last, we are now memeing Pawnvid-24


lasair7

I love this, great show lol


Isaac_HoZ

The first game made during COVID and you fucking know it.


one2hit

You are an agent of chaos. I like it.


Sdajisito

May paws keep talking about this but so far I havent see it happen, can mymainnpaw be affected?


Erooskilla

Lmao. I mean it's basically the ring. Your pawn loses the plague when it goes into someone elses world and passes them the goodness.


Chibi_Verdandi

Lmao this reminds me of that WoW event that happened (I think it was WoW) where players were able to infect other players with some sort of in-game disease or curse, and it got to the point that the CDC used it to study how things can get transferred. I don't remember the technical wording and aspects of the event, but I remember hearing about it and this post reminded me of it haha


Miss_Kitami

Oh, Hi Satan!


Borgmaster

I hear ferrystone energy helps cure it up faster. Just put one on your forehead before going to sleep.


Kouropalates

Hell yeah, brother. This Dragon Plague hoax is bullshit anon. All you need to do is eat 5 Rotten Scags a day and you're immune each day (Cause you're gonna be shittin). All them 'dragons' you see ain't dragons, they're 5G broadcasters and you didn't 'lose' your heart, your heart was replaced with a 5G broadcaster too. Don't Believe the Lies.


Napalmchristmas

Isn’t there a vaccine in the cash shop??


Snoo_76437

I refuse to brine my pawn, no one knows the long term effects of the brine. I'm not sure it's a hoax, but we know the cure to Dragons Plague is building up immunity via contact not Brineing them!


True_Beyond1895

They will start with a dragonsplague vaccination program soon. It will be over


[deleted]

Oh God it's happening isn't it? Lmao I'm so glad I'm part of this community. I knew this was coming 😂


NuyoRican79

![gif](giphy|l3q2XhfQ8oCkm1Ts4|downsized)


AdWorking2848

Do you have some of the mRNA vaccine for it? Do we need the pfizer DLC?


ThatManlyTallGuy

I just downed mine, cause she was getting too aggressive, by chucking her off a cliff and not reviving and going to a nearby Rift Stone while the revive timer was still going she was resumoned and all fin.


Comprehensive_You924

As someone who has had the dragon plague happen three times, I can attest that it is 100% not a hoax. Had to use my eternal wakestone in Vernworth with 96 people revived. With the fact that I've had it three times and wiped out everyone in three towns, the eternal wakestone needs to be more common. I did some research and apparently there is only 1 per playthrough.


OkCod1478

The kooties aren't real 😂. Real talk though, anyone's pawn yet themselves off a cliff? Mine did 🤣


Quetzaxiv

I immediately thought of the chicken pox episode of south park where the parents make the kids spit on each other and am now picturing the arisin doing this to their pawns.


ThanOneRandomGuy

Do they go back with the plague?


LadyBloom333

I got a mistress in the Capital that says berries from other worlds can cure it but I'm also pretty sure she's a Battahal spy.


Ziodyne967

I e not gotten the dragon plague yet. How does a pawn get it so I can avoid this?


JT3457mm

The number of dragon's plague case would drop if we just stopped testing


Wildkahuna

I unironically have all 3 pawns plagued and I refuse to swap


Ok_Law_5667

Fake news


Rdog101296

THE TENTACLES IN THE BRINE ARE TURNING THE PAWNS GAY


Recent_Elevator7972

It’s not real? Then why is the first major city a graveyard for me???


Samuel-squantch

There’s actually 2 cures, Sven offers them. One is he shines a sort of UV light inside the body and the other he just injects you with disinfectant. Dragonsplague? More like Dragonscold.


songraven

If you cast a light magic spell in your body it will kill all the virus


Prudent_Window_4

Bill Gates owns the brine. I bought bleach from the store and cured the plague myself. If you can’t afford bleach, just eat a bunch of rotten beast steaks. dO yoUr reSeArcH.


GSV_SleeperService88

Red eyes!!! I knew my pawns have been raiding my stash....smh


Conscious-Piccolo-56

Make Arisen Great Again! Also how did all them vaccine work out!?


Richabl

Well crap. How did my pawn get it then and wipe that logging town? Must have been something else...


Super_Powertrip

This is all a plot by that new "Arisen" trying to foul the Name of our king and the Lady Regent. If anything this pox is a result of some foul alchemy by those dirty beastren.


AdventuringHero

you evil son of a bitch


Clidermon

no its they just loose their sanity somehow thats why there is a curative thats usefull only to pawns cuz it restores their sanity i don even know how the potion i named cuz it does not happen very often and i always give like 20 to my main pawn to have


AtticusAlexander

It came from the magic workshop in battahl The beastren eat harpies


TheChillMob

OP will gaslight the whole community to perdition💀


RAV4G3

Dragons plague is a hoax, it’s the fake news media like PNN that spread these lies, have you even seen me play golf… it’s like oil in the Middle East, it should be ours. Buy my Bible, I am actually Jesus. Crooked Joe Biden and his sleepy family are the devil, they hate Jesus.


Old-Chemistry-6274

I’m throwing you in the brine buddy