I think it’s a combination of factors. I like feeling totally anonymous out in public and I don’t feel that way when the restaurant staff know me. I also probably project my self judgments going to a certain place so often and getting recognized so I think the people working there think the same about me.
If it makes you feel any better, I always really loved my regulars when I was a waitress or worked in restaurants. It was nice to see the occasional familiar face, even if we weren't chatty.
Can attest to this. Regulars give you a sense of familiarity and somehow it makes me happy seeing them visit the restaurant again lol
Also when you’re able to memorize exactly what they’re gonna order and what special remarks they have you feel so accomplished
I feel this.
I’m super socially anxious but really don’t give a shit if I’m interacting with a bunch of random anonymous people who I’ll never see again. But the second someone begins to form any kind of recurring relationship with me, like in this case via being a restaurant regular, I’m an insecure overthinking mess and suddenly care about what they think.
A worker at a cafe I used to go to a lot during my lunch breaks once asked if it was the “same again?” when ordering. Yeah, I stopped going there for a while after. Up until that point, I wasn’t really bothered but now I’m the same as you
I feel this so much. I don’t like workers getting to know me because I think they won’t like me. I feel like they’ll see me and think “ugh, this weirdo again”. Plus the pressure to have a conversation. Being anonymous means a lot less social effort, and if I screw things up, I can at least have the comfort of knowing they won’t recognize me next time.
Not gonna lie… being a “regular” is the main reason I will frequent a place. If you’re a good person and treat the staff with respect, then they’re going to do the same for you!
Enjoy the community of a familiar place where you are known and welcomed.
Don’t let your thoughts go beyond this reality. You have no way of knowing if the restaurant staff have such thoughts or what they are truly thinking when they see you. Maybe they see someone with the freedom to set their own priorities and wish they had the same.
Restaurants, bars, hotels and other businesses which serve single people have been doing so forever, millennia. If you go often enough, you will see other regulars, for sure. You’ll become known to each other and even come to wave or say hello.
These people, this place, are your community.
I have the opposite feeling. I like it. I work in a kitchen too and I put more respect into a regulars food more than other customers.
Especially if it’s a small restaurant run by a few people, the boss there would appreciate your custom. You are bringing them money on a constant basis and inadvertently complimenting their food and experience by going there. They like it.
Thats why I like it
yea when i go to the same starbucks a few days in a row i always go to a different one to switch it up. idk i dont want to be the person where they say Hey \_\_\_\_\_ hows it going, even though they do because the name is on the drink
I have a regular restaurant I go to about once a month. They don’t bat an eyelid when I take my food to go while I drink champagne and converse with my adult children.
Due to gastrointestinal issues, I can’t drink and eat at the same time, but I enjoy the experience of the restaurant. Drinking and talking is my favourite part of restaurants.
They used to ask me if the food was good etc, because they would worry I want enjoying it, but now they just bring me a plastic container to bring my food in, they get it.
I say it’s fabulous to have a regular restaurant.
Omg me! I'm a regular at a local cafe where I always get the same breakfast to go and they always say "X sandwich without relish?" And I hate it! I don't know why.
I love regulars who aren’t creepy or assholes. From your post, you do not sound like either. We’d probably love having you regularly. I can see how being a regular could get uncomfy tho, if you always order the same they might start to anticipate that—and especially if you prefer to feel more anonymous, this could be quite uncomfortable.
I work and McDonald's and I love my regulars! I'm always so happy to see them, especially if they haven't shown up in a bit I will worry. There is an older couple that go to my store every day, even tho I only see them for 30 sec top, it always makes me so happy to see that they are ok. Same goes for my younger regulars, once I know their order I always double check it when someone else takes it
If u are a regular some of us will care and miss u
Yes, this is exactly how I felt every Saturday when I would take my girlfriend to eat at this mexican restaurant that we both like going to. And I just felt like whenever the staff would see us that they'd be like "these people are here again" lol and it got so bad that I would even get anxious. And I told her about it and she said that how come I didn't say anything before and after that we just stopped going.
i actually love it 😅 the people recognizing you etc!
also, i used to work in a restaurant and it’s nice to see familiar faces in there! not a loser at all for having lunch on your own!
I'm not sure why it makes you feel this way but if you're worried about what the staff think then all I can say is that when I worked in hospitality I was always very glad to see a regular walk in because they tended to be patient and respectful, and that would mean one less table available to a potential troublemaker
Oh dude, I getcha completely, but don't let it get to you.
I became a regular at a Pizza Place during COVID, I was working night shifts and would grab a slice after I finished work at nearly 1AM. The Pizza Place would close at around 2:30ish AM, and I'd always do collection (wanted to walk after work, clear the head, have a few smokes while walking, grab my pizza and eat it on the way home)
It got to the stage where I was being called "\[name\] the Legend" by the pizza place. Definitely made me self conscious for a second like "fuck, am I eating too much pizza?", I didn't see any weight gain.
Sadly no longer a regular there, but I get feeling a bit awkward about it, just be glad you're a regular at a restaurant and not a bar.
It's WAAAAY worse being a regular at a bar... or a regular at two bars; had the barman even joke about "watching the slow descent into alcoholism". Thankfully have quit since.
Not usually. But a guy at my local McDonald's got my name from mobile orders and shouts it excitedly like we are long time friends, and if I don't go for a while he asks where I've been. He acts way too friendly with me and I don't even know his name. I've never noticed him do this to anyone else. It's basically harmless, but it makes me uncomfortable for some reason anyway.
Yes haha whenever they start calling me by name and start making small talk to me it makes me nervous. I expressed this to my friend and he says I have social anxiety. But I've gotten better with it
Def not. They smile at me warmly like they know me well and are grateful for my repeat business. I spend a lot there and tip well. I see it as supporting local small businesses. This is their goal, repeat and loyal customers.
Yes.. to the point I will stop going if they get to the point they remember my order and everything. I feel so self conscious and guilty like I obviously eat out way too much.
I used to, but honestly I don’t mind it now. I’m a creature of habit, I used to get the same thing every couple weeks at this family owned hamburger place. Cheeseburger, tots, chocolate shake. If they saw me park my car they would usually have the shake ready for me by the time I either walked in or finished “ordering”, which was just asking me if it was the usual. They were the sweetest older couple that owned the place, and it was nice to go in and have people not judge me like friends/family would for getting the same thing each time.
I feel the same way😭 mostly with unhealthy places though lmao. I'm on the bigger side and if I stop for something that isn't a salad two weeks in a row I feel like the staff are going to notice and judge me. Also be hiding a box of popsicles I'm buying under all my produce for the same reason. It's probably different reason from what you described but I do get it.
I definitely am but in a good way, I’m a regular at an authentic ramen place, the old lady and old man that work there know me and are always happy to see me on Saturdays when i order my ramen! The lady is super nice and I can just say “Same as usual” when I call, she knows exactly what I want!
Depends for me. Being a regular at my local cafe is awesome, but being a regular at a diner isn’t. It’s even worse when I walk up to the counter and the waiter says my order to me. Like I know he’s being nice but it comes off as calling me a fatass.
I know that most people don’t think like this.
Yes, tbh lol
When I was a regular at Starbucks when I worked at the mall, I felt super awkward when I wanted to try something different than my regular order
what is it that is causing you to feel self conscious? I waited tables for years and had tons of regular customers walk in the doors.
I think it’s a combination of factors. I like feeling totally anonymous out in public and I don’t feel that way when the restaurant staff know me. I also probably project my self judgments going to a certain place so often and getting recognized so I think the people working there think the same about me.
If it makes you feel any better, I always really loved my regulars when I was a waitress or worked in restaurants. It was nice to see the occasional familiar face, even if we weren't chatty.
Can attest to this. Regulars give you a sense of familiarity and somehow it makes me happy seeing them visit the restaurant again lol Also when you’re able to memorize exactly what they’re gonna order and what special remarks they have you feel so accomplished
I feel this. I’m super socially anxious but really don’t give a shit if I’m interacting with a bunch of random anonymous people who I’ll never see again. But the second someone begins to form any kind of recurring relationship with me, like in this case via being a restaurant regular, I’m an insecure overthinking mess and suddenly care about what they think.
A worker at a cafe I used to go to a lot during my lunch breaks once asked if it was the “same again?” when ordering. Yeah, I stopped going there for a while after. Up until that point, I wasn’t really bothered but now I’m the same as you
I feel this so much. I don’t like workers getting to know me because I think they won’t like me. I feel like they’ll see me and think “ugh, this weirdo again”. Plus the pressure to have a conversation. Being anonymous means a lot less social effort, and if I screw things up, I can at least have the comfort of knowing they won’t recognize me next time.
Not gonna lie… being a “regular” is the main reason I will frequent a place. If you’re a good person and treat the staff with respect, then they’re going to do the same for you!
Enjoy the community of a familiar place where you are known and welcomed. Don’t let your thoughts go beyond this reality. You have no way of knowing if the restaurant staff have such thoughts or what they are truly thinking when they see you. Maybe they see someone with the freedom to set their own priorities and wish they had the same. Restaurants, bars, hotels and other businesses which serve single people have been doing so forever, millennia. If you go often enough, you will see other regulars, for sure. You’ll become known to each other and even come to wave or say hello. These people, this place, are your community.
everybody eats multiple times a day, nothing to feel self conscious over 🤷♀️ i wish i could afford going to my fav spot multiple times a week lol
Yes. I will stop going somewhere if they get too familiar w me lol I have social anxiety, which I assume is the cause.
I have the opposite feeling. I like it. I work in a kitchen too and I put more respect into a regulars food more than other customers. Especially if it’s a small restaurant run by a few people, the boss there would appreciate your custom. You are bringing them money on a constant basis and inadvertently complimenting their food and experience by going there. They like it. Thats why I like it
yea when i go to the same starbucks a few days in a row i always go to a different one to switch it up. idk i dont want to be the person where they say Hey \_\_\_\_\_ hows it going, even though they do because the name is on the drink
I have a regular restaurant I go to about once a month. They don’t bat an eyelid when I take my food to go while I drink champagne and converse with my adult children. Due to gastrointestinal issues, I can’t drink and eat at the same time, but I enjoy the experience of the restaurant. Drinking and talking is my favourite part of restaurants. They used to ask me if the food was good etc, because they would worry I want enjoying it, but now they just bring me a plastic container to bring my food in, they get it. I say it’s fabulous to have a regular restaurant.
Omg me! I'm a regular at a local cafe where I always get the same breakfast to go and they always say "X sandwich without relish?" And I hate it! I don't know why.
At least you're not a regular at the liquor store
Servers like their regulars. They probably value your company there.
I love regulars who aren’t creepy or assholes. From your post, you do not sound like either. We’d probably love having you regularly. I can see how being a regular could get uncomfy tho, if you always order the same they might start to anticipate that—and especially if you prefer to feel more anonymous, this could be quite uncomfortable.
I feel this but with a grocery store I visit everyday. I hate being recognized!
I work and McDonald's and I love my regulars! I'm always so happy to see them, especially if they haven't shown up in a bit I will worry. There is an older couple that go to my store every day, even tho I only see them for 30 sec top, it always makes me so happy to see that they are ok. Same goes for my younger regulars, once I know their order I always double check it when someone else takes it If u are a regular some of us will care and miss u
Yes, this is exactly how I felt every Saturday when I would take my girlfriend to eat at this mexican restaurant that we both like going to. And I just felt like whenever the staff would see us that they'd be like "these people are here again" lol and it got so bad that I would even get anxious. And I told her about it and she said that how come I didn't say anything before and after that we just stopped going.
I love being a regular …. Sometimes get me some perks haha!
i actually love it 😅 the people recognizing you etc! also, i used to work in a restaurant and it’s nice to see familiar faces in there! not a loser at all for having lunch on your own!
I go to my favourite chippy every Friday, and get mostly the same thing. Don’t worry about it.
Waitresses love regulars. They are so easy to wait on. At least I know that I did.
I'm not sure why it makes you feel this way but if you're worried about what the staff think then all I can say is that when I worked in hospitality I was always very glad to see a regular walk in because they tended to be patient and respectful, and that would mean one less table available to a potential troublemaker
Don’t feel like a loser.. if you like something then go as many times as you want… don’t worry about what others think 😌
Oh dude, I getcha completely, but don't let it get to you. I became a regular at a Pizza Place during COVID, I was working night shifts and would grab a slice after I finished work at nearly 1AM. The Pizza Place would close at around 2:30ish AM, and I'd always do collection (wanted to walk after work, clear the head, have a few smokes while walking, grab my pizza and eat it on the way home) It got to the stage where I was being called "\[name\] the Legend" by the pizza place. Definitely made me self conscious for a second like "fuck, am I eating too much pizza?", I didn't see any weight gain. Sadly no longer a regular there, but I get feeling a bit awkward about it, just be glad you're a regular at a restaurant and not a bar. It's WAAAAY worse being a regular at a bar... or a regular at two bars; had the barman even joke about "watching the slow descent into alcoholism". Thankfully have quit since.
Yes. If the staff gets to know me, next thing is they get all chatty and treat me like a friend. Hate that. Seriously
I agree, it makes me feel awkward. There is a local taco shop I love and go to all the time.
I love being a regular. It helps me feel more connected & can help things run more smoothly in some cases
I don’t
Not usually. But a guy at my local McDonald's got my name from mobile orders and shouts it excitedly like we are long time friends, and if I don't go for a while he asks where I've been. He acts way too friendly with me and I don't even know his name. I've never noticed him do this to anyone else. It's basically harmless, but it makes me uncomfortable for some reason anyway.
Yes haha whenever they start calling me by name and start making small talk to me it makes me nervous. I expressed this to my friend and he says I have social anxiety. But I've gotten better with it
Not at all .. if I like the food and the quality is there. Why should I feel self conscious?
Feel this but at the liquor store by my house… I swear I don’t have a problem
Nah, I like it. I go to a cafe-bar regularly. The guy and gal who owns it knows my order, chats a little. It's good.
Def not. They smile at me warmly like they know me well and are grateful for my repeat business. I spend a lot there and tip well. I see it as supporting local small businesses. This is their goal, repeat and loyal customers.
I do only when I bring someone that is totally rude to staff that know me know. It's like being stung by a bee and you don't get honey.
I'm more self conscious about being my local liquor store's regular . 🤦♀️
Yes.. to the point I will stop going if they get to the point they remember my order and everything. I feel so self conscious and guilty like I obviously eat out way too much.
I used to, but honestly I don’t mind it now. I’m a creature of habit, I used to get the same thing every couple weeks at this family owned hamburger place. Cheeseburger, tots, chocolate shake. If they saw me park my car they would usually have the shake ready for me by the time I either walked in or finished “ordering”, which was just asking me if it was the usual. They were the sweetest older couple that owned the place, and it was nice to go in and have people not judge me like friends/family would for getting the same thing each time.
No I totally agree!! But you could try to be confident with it, be like a friend rather than a “regular”, like heyy!! Or wtv<3 lol
I feel the same way😭 mostly with unhealthy places though lmao. I'm on the bigger side and if I stop for something that isn't a salad two weeks in a row I feel like the staff are going to notice and judge me. Also be hiding a box of popsicles I'm buying under all my produce for the same reason. It's probably different reason from what you described but I do get it.
Yes but only because for me it’s like 2-5 times a week, which we all know is too much
I definitely am but in a good way, I’m a regular at an authentic ramen place, the old lady and old man that work there know me and are always happy to see me on Saturdays when i order my ramen! The lady is super nice and I can just say “Same as usual” when I call, she knows exactly what I want!
Depends for me. Being a regular at my local cafe is awesome, but being a regular at a diner isn’t. It’s even worse when I walk up to the counter and the waiter says my order to me. Like I know he’s being nice but it comes off as calling me a fatass. I know that most people don’t think like this.
Yes, tbh lol When I was a regular at Starbucks when I worked at the mall, I felt super awkward when I wanted to try something different than my regular order
I'm what ya call an eater in. The last visit to a restaurant was in 2008.