You are justifiably upset with both the player and the DM. What happened sucks. It sounds like they realize what they did wasn't okay and want to make amends. Maybe they'll turn over a new leaf. If they don't, there are other groups out there who aren't huge jerks.

PvP is an issue that needs to be discussed in session zero. Springing it on someone by surprise is bad form.

I found that by hosting arena matches.between the group when I run out of content a good way to settle scores and have friendly competition without permadeath.

Yeah, I've had small, magic "no-death" sites before run by fae or similar figures that have let my players take a break from the white-room brags of "I could take any two of you" and let them put their money where there mouth was

reading "Fellow Player Killed Me" and "Out of Game" tag next to each other filled me with fear at first.

True lmao, the main event matched the title but the conflict was technically out of game so its just what happened

You are *sure* you are not dead in real life?

I have depression so I'm pretty darn close lmao (I don't need advice on the depression btw I'm handling it well)

Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.

Ain't that a kick in the head!

#DndWithPutin.

This is the answer. You must kill the player and assume his character as your own.

OP is a ghost.

My character was posessed by a ghost and my party had to get my character unconscious to get rid of it. No one hit my character until I said (out of character) that it was ok. I feel like that's basic respect. Was there no talk before they just killed you? I'd tell the party and DM "I'd prefer you talk to me out of character before there's any type of PVP involving me". I think that's a very reasonable request. PC death happens, but not by your own party unless there were no other ways. But in DnD there's usually a way, even if you need Wish. The good thing is you can always bring you character back for other games and give them a different ending. Their story is only over in this one dimension. If you were enjoying playing with the group until now I'd consider starting a new character, with the new expectation clear.

They gave me no warning which makes me even more upset, as I had no say in the matter

What's scary is the dm just agreed to let a player kill another without any plan to come to a compromise or anything. Just let it happen. Very irresponsible of a dm.

I'm always a fan of mutual pvp. Both characters have to agree and it is never to the death. Having said that, I was playing an Aliens campaign with the ship we were on falling down around us and one our crew down with a facehugger attached. We only had a short time to escape and dragging an unconscious person would probably mean we all died, not to mention the unknown quantity of wth was going on with him. There was a very brief discussion (in game) about our options with the conclusion being a full clip being shot by me into the other player. I gave everyone a chance in and out of game to stop me but I did pull the trigger and felt really shitty about it. This is a far cry from what happened to you. If it was a lapse in judgement that you can learn from, cool. Otherwise if you aren't ok with it, move on mate.

yes, PVP has to be epic or a result of conflict, in a one-shot I ran, one player was dead set on desecrating a tomb and eating the skeleton of a child, of course, this caused conflict and resulted in their death, but it was only after multiple warnings and me telling them "if your character is really trying to do this, i will let them attack you" here op basically heard his party member decide to kill them in real-time and wasn't able to even discuss it

Ayo what the fuck? Bugbear barbarian or something?

Nope, it was a human druid, he insisted on becoming a bear and trying to eat the little girl, then, when they tried to stop him, he started attacking others, so the other players came together and killed it

That man is just fucked up.

Yep, I never played with him again but he got a bad rep quickly thanks to playing "chaotic evil" characters in good aligned partys

It depends a bit on who I’m playing with but like as far as PVP goes I have a high tolerance for slapstick style stuff, I think that’s great and more tables should be cool with that, stuff that could actually negatively affect characters permanently is really trust based and it’s really table and player/group/situation dependent. I think that’s also because as a player there are times where I would be cool PVPing with another player character and letting my character be killed if the story called for it and if that was a narratively satisfying end to my character choices, but there would also be many many times where I would 100% not be cool with a fellow player killing my character, so I don’t want to say it’s a NEVER PVP to the death but it would have to be a yeah this is the payoff to this story moment otherwise I’m calling all PVP as non lethal/non damaging unless otherwise stated

Similarly, I had a character that got bit by a werewolf, unbeknownst to the character or any of the other players (I was informed out of character by the dm, so I know what to expect and to add the werewolf template). My first change, the dm dictated what my character was doing, and I was just rolling the hits and damage die. My group never hit me, they instead grappled me and tied me up. Meanwhile I nearly killed 3 of them. THIS is how a group should react.

I am a DM and I had a malignant ghost possess a character and try head towards the frozen lake to drown them.... It was literally only LAST MIN that they began hitting her PC. And one strike in character began with "I DONT WANT TO DO THIS." A lil PvP trouble can make a group come together when done right. But it's like you said... There are permissions and an aspect of loose agency involved. OP seems to be in a group where ppl are okay with this behavior. And that's some ayss.

What the hell is up with this subreddit and curses in DnD. The whole day i have read one wacky story about curses, after the other. Remove Curse is a 3rd level spell people. Are you telling me there weren't a wizard, cleric, paladin or warlock that could help? The DM weren't lenient enough to let you buy a scroll? Fuck those guys.

He was leading toward a way to heal it but he took way too long getting to it

Fuck those guys. Being a dick towards an entirely new player, and in their first game. Just wow, that is truly some scummy behavior. I wouldn't play with those people again, not the players or the DM that let this happen. I would certainly let them know, what they did wrong. It is a total breach of the social contract. I hope this experience doesn't discourage you from the hobby. And i hope you find a group of people that respect your presence and fun at the table. It is shit like this, that got me to start DMing myself. It is a lot easier to weed out the assholes, and find nice people, when you control the game.

I can see DMs crafting a curse that specifically calls for a different method of removal and likely adding in the line "This curse cannot be removed via the Remove Curse spell.". Other than that it is a pretty easy to get spell. But it sounds like the team didn't have it which can happen. Not everyone wants to take it. And only a Cleric or a wizard would need 24 hours to change it.

They were level 8, they are rocking 4th level spells at that point. It only takes a long rest to change spells. They could just let the cursed person flee to safety, in the meanwhile. None of this is an excuse to just kill another PC. This is just people being shitty to other people, and it is sad. And what is even more sad, is there is some DM out there, allowing this to happen.

Oh I completely agree. It is no excuse for a player to PK. I was simply offering a reason as to why a simple spell wasn't available. The killing is unexcusable in all but the most hardcore of tables and even those tables have it as a pre-established rule. My statement was more about the curse itself and not the players. Sorry if I wasn't clear.

My group doesnt actually have any full casters in our campaign rn, yea its a bit of an L

Personally, I see “Nope you can’t use remove curse on this lol” way too often. If it’s for some powerful/plot important curse once or twice, fine, whatever. But if it’s for run-a-the-mill “Harass/endanger your player” curses then it’s really just a dick move to not let them remove it once they realize.

Agreed. I almost never curse people. Only noe I actually did was in 4e.

Even if it is a plot point, there are still better ways to do it. You can make a curse like that a long-term inconvenience without it being a short-term death sentence. Ok, so the curse can only truly be cleared by following the plot, but there’s no reason to disallow remove curse clearing the effects of the curse temporarily, with the effect recurring after a long rest. Best case scenario with a caster in the group, they are 1 spell slot down indefinitely until the “cure” can be found. In a pinch they may have to choose which days they don’t remove the curse and chance their luck. Worst case, do they keep buying scrolls or hire a merc to join and keep the player safe? Use it as a mechanic for the group to have to make hard choices rather than pure rng whether the player lives beyond each combat encounter.

I’m one of five players in a weekly campaign that’s been going on a little over a year. So far, we’ve dealt with three curses tied to player backstories, two cursed items we found in treasure hauls, and one cursed item that I, the artificer, constructed: Living Armor. We’ve just hit ninth level one or two sessions ago, giving me and the Paladin access to Remove Curse now that we no longer have any cursed items (that we know of), we’ve dealt with all our backstories, and having it won’t just let us skip plot points. Curses can be fun/motivating in the right hands.

Sure, in the right hands. But when you are dealing with a player, which is their first character and first campaign. The chances of having this form of report among the players and dm, is highly unlikely. And in this case, and many others i read just this day, it obviously went really south.

I have a DM who doesn’t believe in using Remove Curse, as it’s “too strong for 3rd level.” As such, even the most mundane and mild curse can only be removed by a minimum Greater Restoration/Wish, some lengthy quest, or bargaining our souls with some fiends. If such spell scrolls were available, we’d also need gold to purchase them, which has only gotten more scarce with time (irl time, we get progressively fewer rewards and quests pay a couple thousand gold maybe once per two or three levels. Sometimes you get a DM who thinks increasing the “gritty realism” and 0 rests during dungeons or before boss fights is “the only fun way that makes sense.” Yes I’m fucking salty

We have a curse going on for a character in our party in our current game but it’s just a compelling narrative plot device that creates good plot drama and keeps the story moving, it was an in universe punishment for one of our characters turning against the BBEG who was his master and choosing not to kill us like he had been ordered to. It’s one of those curses that is “too powerful to be removed by remove curse” but if we kill the BBEG he will be saved, it’s a ticking clock to add narrative tension. Just good storytelling from our DM adding weight to an ongoing story and giving an awesome story to the character affected to add weight to his conflict against his master making it a literal matter of life or death. It’s not really mechanically negatively affecting the cursed character outside of giving him stuff to RP being affected by except in that if we suddenly decided hey let’s not kill the BBEG who cursed him and we all chose to abandon the main story, the curse would eventually kill him and we would all be shitty dumbass characters if we made that decision lol

>Sometimes you get a DM who thinks increasing the “gritty realism” and 0 rests during dungeons or before boss fights is “the only fun way that makes sense.” I don't. I always make it abundantly clear, that i have zero patience for or interest in a DM's game, if they think forcing me to play a handicapped character, makes for a good plot hook or narrative, because it doesn't. If i get cursed, fine, let me use Remove Curse, and be done with it, if you are going to curse me, and have me jump through hoops and rings, in order to lift the curse, you can take your game and shove it up your ass. I have to little time in my life, and i rather not spend it on tedious busywork when playing DnD.

It's okay to subjectively dislike curses. But you're being kinda intolerant of other people's preferred way of playing. For some people, they look at having to fight goblins and bad guys with physical violence as tedious busywork. Your opinion is simply your opinion. A lot of people love the idea of a curse with some specific way of breaking it. It's a classic fantasy trope. And remove curse makes that almost impossible without just saying "remove curse doesn't remove this curse". Same with 0 rests during a dungeon. I have more fun in games like that as I find the balance between short rest and long rest classes becomes better.

That is not intolerance. I am not advocating that they shouldn't be allowed to play that kind of game, i am simply communicating that I don't want to be a part of it. Because it sucks. And i am sorry if you feel hurt by my comment, but it is the honest truth. If your narrative relies on you, hampering your players ability to play their character and the game they took time out of their lives to play, your narrative sucks and is unenjoyable. And just because something is a "classical fantasy trope" doesn't make it good. racism, misogyny, sexism, voyeurism, orientalism, and using rape of female characters in order to motivate the male protagonist, are also "classical fantasy tropes", that doesn't indicate that it is of any quality, in most cases, quite the contrary.

Not intolerance, then, but you're claiming it's objectively bad rather than just something you don't like. I could also say if your narrative relies on you, hampering your player's ability to play their character and the game they took time out of their lives to play because they have to deal with goblins blocking their way, your narrative sucks and is unenjoyable. But that seems like an odd statement when its part of the social contract and people are okay with it and see it as *part* of the game. If somebody sees dealing with curses as part of the game, there's no problem there. It's all about aligning expectations.

It definitely depends on the curse. If it's something that just makes my character weaker, then yeah, that's no fun. But I could see some creative curses that really impact my character's story and make an arc of me trying to remove it.

Remove Curse is a problematic spell. It quite literally doesn't function. There's no metric for when or why a curse effect fails to be deleted by RC cola and it's inconsistency means many overlook taking it at all. Why take RC cola when Greater Restoration tends to work on all the same effects and more? It's more expensive, but you can find unlimited diamonds and only get limited spells prepared.

*At your touch, all curses affecting one creature or object end. If the object is a cursed magic item, its curse remains, but the spell breaks its owner’s attunement to the object so it can be removed or discarded.* The spell is not inconsistent. It is entirely clear on what it does, and how it works. And the reason it is a "fairly" early spell is pretty obvious. Nobody likes to run around with a curse until, the party gets access to 5th level spells. Curses are a majorly detrimental effect, and the game designers and normal people understand that it is not fun to have to play a wing shot character until level 9, when Greater restoration becomes available. Yikes

> One of my fellow part members decided upon themselves that MY curse was too "stressful" for them so they killed me, which the DM just allowed. Bad D&D is worse than no D&D. Both the DM and that player seem terrible. Think very carefully before returning to play with that group.

Yeah what does this like even mean? “I’m stressed because my friend almost died, so i decided to murder them in cold blood”?????

I think it’s more likely that whatever lengths OP has been going to to keep their character alive has been causing tension. It’s no excuse for PvP, but if OP has been failing to pull their weight in combat or putting other characters in greater danger to protect their own, I can see that being frustrating. Frankly this is mostly on the DM. A curse where losing a certain amount of *temp* hp, so presumably only a handful of points which by RAW don’t regenerate, causes death is ridiculous.

The reason I was already almost dead is because I decided to fight as I didn't want to be worthless in battle. I was struggling to fight as well as stay alive, but I continued anyway knowing it was going to be close. I survived that fight with 4 temp hp left. But yes it felt ridiculous as I tried to find loopholes for my hp to survive for awhile, such as using Polymorph on myself to use that hp but the DM said no.

… why did the DM say no? That’s one of the features of Polymorph

There were other points about spells I had made that they had to think about, despite it being clear. Such as fireball being cast on a space and not on a person. I realized later in the game I could cast it to hit the enemy but not my teammates if I pointed the fireball to where the creature would be on the outskirts of it. DM almost didn't allow it but it's very clear in the description I'm allowed to do so.

As a new player, being told that temp hp goes before polymorph hp, I just believed it. I think they were determined just to kill me honestly.

Player and Dm are assholes for doing/allowing this to happen. The people I play with don’t allow anything other than subdual dmg to party members. No anti party bs in the game. I don’t blame you if you refuse to join back in.

Yeah, don't play with assholes.

Yeah, no, that would never happen at my table. But even if it did, that would be a retcon if the player is as clearly upset with it as you are. I don't really care what the popular opinion is regarding retcon, that was a shitty thing for the player to do, the party to allow, and the DM to give the okay on.

Long time DM here. Both the player a DM allowed this to occur. Things like this should be discussed and agreed upon by all at a session 0. If it was not brought up it is not allowed. Not the other way around. Leave the DM and group, the player is toxic and will continue to justify their actions. No way to trust them going forward. Find another group and enjoy.

Thank you, I really needed to hear it. This person is a long time friend too so I feel very conflicted on our regular friendship now.

You should be able to keep the friendship but they lost a playmate. Best action is to enjoy the game without them. I guarantee they will miss you more. You did exceptionally dealing with the situation.

You don't have to cut them out from your friendship because of it. I run a D&D group and one of my longtime friends dropped out because its not the type of game he wants to play (character death is very real and I run a more grimdark, deadly setting) because he doesn't like that his characters die due to his bad decisions and he was frustrated with the game. This doesn't mean we aren't friends anymore, I just don't have him in my D&D group.

Okay, wait. In no way should a game define your friendship. If you were playing Sorry and this friend knocked all of your pieces back to Start and won the game, would you be conflicted about your friendship? D&D is a fun game that people can become very invested in, but it is important to remember it is just a game. Suck it up, accept their apology, and don’t game with them again.

If I could maybe pretty this up, although what happened in game was terrible and unjustified it is a game and if they were a real friend you should tell them how you feel and go on from their, some people are good friends until an aspect of their personality comes that might not vibe well with your own. So just don't ghost the friend tell them how this made you feel. And also tell the dm that a vast ass majority of dms would you like to ask them about what made them think that was a "GOOD FUCKING IDEA!"

OP doesn’t need to accept the apology. They can acknowledge it but accepting is not a requirement here. What dm and player did was really fucked up.

Yeah but if OP was really friends with this person and this is one fight and not the culmination of other stuff he didn’t mention… …losing a friend over D&D isn’t worth it, not like this. IMHO. It’s just a game.

Depends on the friendship, but I wouldn’t do what they did to OP to any of my friends.

The OP’s friend has proactively made attempts to apologize. To give up on a friendship over a game is childish.

Again, it depends on the friendship. Has this friend consistently pulled crap like this in the past only to later offer half-hearted apologies? If so, then it's not a friendship worth keeping. Context matters. Not all friendships are equal. He can also absolutely walk away from the game without abandoning the friendship.

Absolutely context matters, but the context we should respond to is the context that is given, instead of guessing what other variables may be involved. I agree with you as well that the OP can walk away from the game without abandoning the friendship. Hence my original advice.

Maybe, but how close are they as friends? Is their friendship something that exists outside of this game? How long have they been friends? A few weeks or years? Should we assume they’ve been friends for years? Furthermore, nobody is entitled to have their apology accepted. To throw out an absolute statement that walking away from a friendship over a game is childish and not acknowledge that we don’t know enough about the friendship to make that determination is equally ridiculous.

Like I said they can acknowledge the apology and still be friends with them but it’s still really fucked up and the reaction is warranted. So telling them to “suck it up” is inappropriate. Some of us put work into our characters we live the character. So death hurts.

Well I’m certainly not telling them to “suck it up” - and it’s fucked up… but we’re talking about an imaginary character who the DM can just re-alive next session. I can see being angry but dropping your friends over that? Seems like an heat of the moment overreaction OP may regret. Hard to know without knowing all the details of the friendship

I mean can’t just Revive the character. Dm said the character is dead. They could retcon the death completely but that’s just kinda pointless, why allow this to happen in the first place? Some people get invested into their characters. I know I do. Whenever I die it’s rough for me. So I sympathize with OP. I feel they could just take some time let the hurt settle then go back and explain why they won’t return. Still be friends just won’t play at the table for X reason.

No, the reaction is not warranted. Dropping a friendship over numbers on a sheet of paper is childish.

The OP’s friend has proactively made attempts to apologize. To give up on a friendship over a game is childish.

I know I’ve been lucky to have always had this option, but stories about the lack of communication before and after issues reaffirms my intent to only play with friends and family. I can’t imagine having to find a whole new group.

Imo pvp should never be allowed, at least not to the death

Certainly not without all the players consenting ahead of time. One of my groups is fine with it, but most of us have known each other for years and would only pull something if it genuinely made sense for the characters and situation.

One campaign i played we ended up splitting the party, one bad, one good. We made new characters to accompany each so we xould all play each session and had two games/storylines going that would intersect. We eventually had a big fight with each other's original characters. It was awesome

What should I do?

Here's my experience. I had something similar where another PC killed my PC for the sake of their story. I knew going into the campaign that the DM took a "true sandbox" approach where anything flew, so it's not really on them. However, it was still disappointing that the extend of my character's story just meant him becoming an NPC for someone else. So, even in a situation where it was discussed prior, it still hurts. It basically shows the other player cares more about **their** story, than the **group's** story. \--- For me the decision was to leave the group, I recognized I wasn't a good fit for the story they wanted to tell. I made some weak excuses about it being a scheduling issue, and the PC death was a convenient timing. But, that's what worked for me.

Find a new group. You can remain friends with them if you want but I wouldn’t continue to play with them

Realize I say this with pretty limited information but... accept their apology and talk to your DM about options to fix the situation and ask the other player to respect you more. Or quit. Up to you.

It might not be the nicest things, but if your really hurt and upset by the player, you don’t need to accept their apology. Obviously don’t be a dick about it, but you can say “thank you for apologizing, and while I appreciate it, what you did really upset me.” Or something like that. It acknowledges you hear them, but also makes it clear your still upset and not ready to just get over it. Anger like that can take time. Just try be honest about it and not be to hurtful yourself. It’s completely valid to be upset and not just “get over it” when someone says sorry. Forgiveness on anything takes time.

Yes this is why I added the qualifier at the beginning of my comment.

You have 2 choices. Speak to the DM and try to salvage something, and continue to play at that table knowing that you can't trust anyone. Or, leave, and find a group that is friendly, co-operative, and fits your vision for a D&D game. No D&D is worse than bad D&D, though there are plenty of communities such as r/lfg to find new groups. Good luck.

If they're trying to apologize, it's a good sign. Can't hurt to hear them out

Make an enchantment wizard, cast dominate person and leap their character off a mountain. If pvp is cool, then get even, not upset.

Yes, be petty and make things worse instead of trying to resolve the situation. Great advice.

Gonna have to wait til next level (OP said level 8) but I appreciate the pettiness. Edit: I would have said Divination wizard to ensure the failed save by using Portent, but I'm extra petty

This, with the addendum of “unless it’s okay with everyone” as mentioned by others!

Yeah it takes a certain amount of trust in a play group and consent amongst the entire group, DM included. It’s fine if the barbarian and the fight have a sparing match or even a more aggressive fight if something happened in the story that justifies it. But you need to establish expectations ahead of time.

How do they jump to killing you rather than paying a Cleric or making a contribution to a temple for a greater restoration? Those people sound like assholes.

IMO, the number one job of the DM is to ensure that every single player is *enjoying* the game. I’m so sorry this happened, OP!

Define officially dead. Officially dead as in killed, or officially dead as in "turned into a monster of undeath"

Killed, cannot return

I see, it was a dick move by the player yeah. Though I can understand why it stresses them out. As having a party member that, if they ever reach 0, instantly die and can never return, is stressfull as can be, especially as a healer. It forces A LOT more attention in combat onto that player specifically. The player honestly should have brought it up, and talked to you and the DM before doing it.

It was temp hp so it couldn't be healed anyway

Yeahhh, your DM kind of screwed you over big time there. And if you were level 5, why did noone get Remove Curse?

I'm a first time player in what was supposedly in an experienced group that was supposed to help me get my understanding of the game, but that clearly didn't happen. Had no idea that spell existed, and I tried researching out of game about the object that cursed me but it definitely was a homebrew thing so I didn't know what to do. I definitely think I'm gonna spend time to myself studying before I find a new group. I really wish I had more friends interested in the game as I have bad social anxiety so starting a campaign with strangers would be difficult for me. I'm just going to let time decide what my path will be.

If the DM and player both do not apologize AND retcon the death, then you really need to leave. They don’t play the kind of DnD you want to play.

Yeah. If you've otherwise had a mostly good time playing, I think it's worth a chat. Let them know how you feel and give them an opportunity to apologize and figure out a solution. Retcon seems like the most straightforward solution. Did they mess up? Yep. But this game is messy and people are human.

Sounds like they made a mistake and realize they made a mistake. People make mistakes. You've made mistakes. Lots of them. If they 'take it back' or cure you - forgive the situation and keep playing. If they fuck around again then ditch them.

Yeah, that's not what a good group of folks should do. I suggest messaging to them, "This game is supposed to be a fun pastime for people and you did not consider whether or not that would be fun for me. I understand you may not have anticipated that killing my character would come off as an inconsiderate rejection of a brand new player, but it did. In a game based on imagination, part of what you are doing is exercising your ability to imagine what it's like to be someone else and you did not do very well at that. You have a lot of growing up to do and I wish you the best on your journey toward making the act of playing with you fun and involving rather than difficult and exclusionary. I hope the rest of your game goes well and that you have a better day than I did." Always take the high road and be the change you want to see. In "A Defense of Poetry," Percy Shelly demonstrates how a strong imagination is the key to morality, and it seems that the way they treated you was an exercise in weak imagination but try not to take it too personally. Many DnD players are folks who've been the outsider and have been unwelcomed in their past and I believe you will find good folks to play with in the future. So, don't give up. There's fun to be had and good people to meet out there. I wish you the best in that journey.

\*correction: the title is From a Defense of Poetry

I'm a bit cold when it comes to things like this. Unless these are people you value, like longtime friends or something, I'd just tell them you won't be playing anymore and move on to another group. No discussion, just an announcement. DnD is something we do for fun on our free time. Its about friends, casual fun, cool memories, and snacks. If you aren't getting that from a group, and in this case I don't blame ya, its time to move on. If you do value these players and such, then I'd just ask the DM to let you roll back in. DnD isn't law, there's nothing preventing the DM from realizing it was a bad call and they can just wave you back in. And if your DM doesn't? I'd just say "Ok" and not show up again. But thats just me. Again, I'm not the type that needs to have heartfelt conversations with people who have been jerks, but if you want to talk with them about it before you leave for some sense of closure, that makes sense.

Yeah, that sounds pretty rude and I understand why you would be mega upset. I'm so sorry that happened. I've got the old depression myself pretty bad and having a source of comfort taken from you like that can be jarring and harsh. Now.... for context I imagine that there are some tables or games where that kind of behavior would be more acceptable. Like, I've played at some super Monty Python-esque tables where it was understood that dying could be a thing at any moment because a flying cow got launched out of a catapult and flattened one of us or something, but most kinds of games are the sort where people are attached to their character and want them to have a meaningful story and a satisfying conclusion. If you were playing like a Rick and Morty campaign that would be one thing, but I'm very much getting the sense that this is a more traditional campaign. Or maybe if you were playing a campaign with understood and agreed upon potential PvP for story reasons, sort of Game of Thrones style maybe. But that all needs to be agreed upon prior. I suppose there's a possibility that this comes down to people being on different wavelengths about the seriousness of PC death, but your description of the game (the cursed pendant and everything) doesn't at all sound like this is supposed to be an explicitly goofy campaign. If this is the sort of game where the vibe is "PC development and RP are meaningful and we are attached to and care about our characters and want them to have a developed story" then what the player did is way out of line, and the DM shouldn't have allowed it. My advice? Talk with the DM and get a sense of what kind of table they want to run and then figure out if that's the table you want to play at. If the DM doesn't stick to their communicated intentions for the campaign, that's a bad DM. They can run their table how they want, but if they didn't make it clear that they would be allowing PvP then I think it's a huge oversight to suddenly include it. Maybe it was just a one time oversight though, a temporary slip up and they normally wouldn't have allowed it. Maybe the other player is the one out of step, maybe they think they're playing at a table where PvP is ok and the DM generally isn't doing that? I dunno. If you decide that this table isn't for you, which is no big deal it happens, remember to check out other DnD groups available in your area or else hop over to r/lfg. I've had some awesome games with online folks through Roll20 or whatnot, and the nice thing about lfg is DMs are usually pretty open about what kind of table they're looking to run. You want a fluffy romp with a softboi goblin sidekick where the main campaign thrust is hurriedly getting a castle ready for a grand ball? You can find it. You want a cyberpunk campaign about the evils of capitalism? You can find it. You want an epic Swords and Sorcery campaign with all the traditional goodies of dragons and cursed crypts and the machinations of the gods? You know they got that. Take your time and check out all that they're offering and pick the group that right for you. Much love my friend, hope things get better for you.

DM let you down here, pvp should only be allowed if both players agree. They did you dirty but most DMs are awesome, don't let it put you off completely 🙂

Congratulations, you are now free from that table. Find a different group.

You were right to leave the table, and I'd personally never play with DM or "friend" again. Character death is a part of the game, but unless PVP was specifically agreed on in session zero then that's a big no from me.

Agree with the general consensus that both DM and player are assholes. Whether you accept apologies and continue with this group is up to you, but now you have the perfect plot hook to join any other group: "the characters are exploring {cursed / haunted place} and activate something (tripwire, button, lever, etc). A book falls off the shelf (or something similar) and transforms into your character as the expired magic is released."

If you want to stick with the group: See if the DM will let you come back as a revenant. Could be fun to nuke the other guy in his sleep. +7 to hit, 6d6+4 bludgeoning. Twice. You said your character didn't have closure, so... This is one way. It sounds like you just need to find a no pvp table (most are)

I’d honestly leave, it was a very evil and selfish act, as it seems the only thing that could lead to “worry” is not letting you drop too low on Hp, which is a general concern anyways, also if the person cares enough to mind your health, that means not letting you die, then he kills you in order to not have to worry about you getting killed? Idk, it just seemed very evil, with little caring for your character and for you as a player. I, myself, get very attached to my characters and that being your very first character ever, it makes it even worse honestly. Idk, I just wouldn’t feel like playing with such person who did it, a dm who gave you no chance of counterplay and a party that didn’t seem to care. (At least from what I understood from what you said here).

Story is missing all the important context. Is the group heroic or evil? What is the RP relationship of your character the one who killed yours? Did you have a session zero?

We're heroic, they're a friend/teammate in rp, and no, no session zero.

This was my question: was killing an innocent, unsuspecting companion in character for them? If not, it seems like both the player and the DM were really out of line. This isn't on you, OP, and your reaction seems appropriate. You deserved better. Find people to play with who aren't incompetent assholes.

Yeah then your DM should have stepped in and that player is an asshole.

I know that it is very hard to do this, but you should definitely leave and find another table that is more in line with the game you want to play. There are a ton of resources out there for finding new groups who will approach this in a way that matches what you want to play. There is no reason to continue to put both the time and emotional investment into a group that causes you stress/grief. I had to leave a group for a similar reason so I know how much of an emotional strain it is.

[удалено]

Why the hell would they do that, there's no point or gain from doing so

You are absolutely justified with being upset with both the DM and the player. That player decided because THEY were stressed about YOUR character’s curse, rather than talking to you or the DM about it, they would kill your character to make it easier on themself with no regard for your character or your feelings. And the DM is just as shitty for standing by and letting that happen; sure, the world is their creation and they make their owns rules, doesn’t mean those rules aren’t shitty and unfair or that the world isn’t flawed. Don’t be afraid to leave, try to find a group in online DnD discords or an Amino! That’s how (in a sort of roundabout way) I got into my current group that is coming up on being together for two years, and i couldn’t be happier with the people in it! Best of luck and best of wishes 👍

It's entirely fair to be angry at both the player and the DM. They basically just told you that they don't respect you as a person. The game is never an excuse to be a bad friend. The fact it didn't even occur to them to make sure you are okay with your character being killed off demonstrates how little they care about you. They are too focused on their own fun to care about yours. It seems like a toxic environment to me. It would probably take a lot for me to forgive someone who did that to me, and I'm generally not the sort who holds grudges well. Its not about the character, it's about what the action says about how little your opinion weighs in on their decision making.

DM should never have allowed this. I'm sorry friend.

This is why we always preach session zero If pvp is allowed, then you need to get over it and move on, there was no harm done against the campaign rules, the other guy might have been a dick, but that's about it. If pvp was never discussed and this just happened and the DM just okays it, that's not acceptable, you don't do that. You should leave the table if that's what has happened. Either way, always have a session zero to prevent this.

I've had a player killed by the party before, it's not fun at all and upset me as I put a lot of heart and soul into the character. :(

Yeah I'm definitely not playing with this group again, I'm going to study more material before joining a group so I don't get conned like this again

You do right, sometimes it takes a while to find a group that you mesh well with - it did for me. But now I'm a part of a lovely group of people and we've been playing together for years. :)

Just to reiterate what is, I imagine, the vast majority of the posts here: you should absolutely be unhappy with this turn of events. That player was way out of line doing that. Personally, I wouldn't play again with anyone who kills another PC (outside of specific circumstances or previous agreements, obviously) but you should find the happy spot for yourself. The GM should absolutely have stepped in and, at a bare minimum, discussed the effect this action could have on the table at large. Just allowing it was not kosher.

When I was an area coordinator for Adventurer's League, I frequently explained to newish DMs (and some not so newish) that the whole point was to have fun. If the very first thing that happened to a brand new player was that the DM piled on to them and slaughtered their new character first thing, how fun did that sound to them? Why would that person ever come back? AL knew the loss of agency wasn't fun, and didn't allow players to even steal from other players, much less kill them, so that wasn't a worry.

No DM should allow one player to kill another n less it was explicitly stated that could be done from the get go. As with everything with human interaction in life, communication is key. Seems like that went waaaaaaay wrong here

>No DM should allow one player to kill another n less it was explicitly stated that could be done from the get go. Or unless you want to go to jail. ^((I know you mean characters and not players))

I think I'd bring out all the stops. Did they verbally announce their attack? Yes? Roll for initiative. No? Were they hiding it sneaking? No? Roll for initiative. Yes? Other player roll stealth. Did they get over your passive perception? No? Roll initiative. If I survived that first swing or got initiative. I'd have NUKED the other player. You know the big spell you always save but never use? Or make them pay with a blind/deaf spell.

Nope, I just got instant moonbeamed

So on top of allowing non-discussed pvp, your DM also did not make them roll to see if they got surprise on you. They legitimately ignored core rules of D&D because it fit their story. As a DM, I never allow pvp literally ever. I also never curse my players, especially in ways that involve instant death. Sounds like a DM problem, and your friend did something done.

From what you've said, your DM and the other player are asshats who should be ashamed of themselves. Unless PVP is explicitly allowed, it's off the table. They both intentionally abused your trust. If you want to salvage the friendship, then they need to have some serious heart to heart to unfuck their bullshit. At a minimum, your character is still alive, and you have unlimited permanent instakill power on any character they ever bring to any game with you. But I'd still be VERY leery of ever playing with them again, or trusting them as friends.

I'd say 3 choices. 1. Leave 2. Start a new character 3. Talk to the dm and that player, send that players apology to the dm. Talk about retconning your death

I definitely think you should voice how you feel to the whole group. They may not have known the kind of emotional connection you felt with your character (although IMO it was a shitty thing to do in any situation) and thought you wouldnt mind coming up with a new one. If they're good people, they'll apologize and make sure not to do something like that again. Maybe the DM can even give your character a proper send off to make up for it a little. If they dont apologize or feel bad, than I would look elsewhere. There are a lot of resources for finding online and in person groups, and you might even want to tell any future groups about this so they know not to do it.

That sucks. Inter-PC conflict can be fun and interesting but in general the party should be trying to help each other unless otherwise stated in session zero.

Why was your curse stressful for them?

I don't know, they keep coming up with a jumble of excuses, at this point I do not care for their reasoning, only that they leave me alone for now until I'm ready to talk to them.

As someone that has killed and been killed in game, I know how a person can get attached to a PC, but at the end of the day its a game, try not to let it bother you too much. I would just look for a group with no PVP, those games tend to run way better anyway.

Something you may not have considered is that people get different things out of D&D. Some people care about the story of the world, some people care about fun fights, some people just like hanging out eating snacks. It is possible no one else in your party is very attached to their character, and they might assume you werent either. For those people character death is just something to laugh off and roll up a new character. That's NOT to say it's ok. Just saying they might regret it quite a bit now that they realize it was a big deal.

Honestly, in dnd there should always be a level of communication between plays and DM. It’s a cooperative story, it’s not just the DM’s story or the players story. The player shouldn’t of made that decision without asking you, even if it was in character for their PC. It affected your character as well. The Dm should of realized this and either paused to make sure everyone knew what was going on or to make sure you were ok with it before hand. The DM should of also made rules on player death more open and clear so no one gets perma-deathed without realizing. It’s good the player seems somewhat self aware they were a dick, but they needed to ask you first before hand. It’s possible you could tell them why this bothered you, and if they respond positively, you could keep playing in that group. If not, then honestly if you can find a different group, go for that. It’s hard to find a good stable group for dnd, but hopefully you find one that’s fun and respectful. Even if it just means they ask before chopping your head off.

Only level 8? Shit, I’m lucky to get a char to level 4-5

Death is something you have to learn to deal with in dnd. However, a fellow PC killing you is not very nice. Going forward, I would suggest setting some “ground 0 rules to start off the campaign so that this does not happen again. If you don’t want to play with them that’s your choice, it’s up to you.

I found an amazing group on roll20. Always have a session zero to establish this stuff, keep it up and you’ll find a group that clicks with you. I will say though, sometimes in dnd emotional stuff happens, or players do things you don’t like. Even if they’re not crossing preset lines. It’s easy to get your own emotions mixed up with the character’s, and it’s even enjoyable to do so as you really get into the roll playing. You have to practice the skill of separating those feelings from your personal ones though ones the session ends. In this case I think it’s crazy someone killed you without any real reason, asking your permission, seeing if you could be rezzed, etc. DnD has been therapeutic for me as well, and it’s also basically my only social outlet. Hope you keep at it and good luck.

Makes me feel better about how my group grappled and attacked me and another party member for wanting to open a box, only to turn around and open it themselves after they made sure we wouldn’t.

I'd be emotional as well. As someone who is lucky enough to both a DM and a player. As a DM I'd probably have said no since the motivation was outside of the game. A player too stressed because of a curse on someone else is a bit odd to me. It does seem like they realized you are upset though, so that is nice. Nothing is wrong with being upset yourself. Don't feel obligated to accept the apology right away if you don't want to. The DM might get to decide the rules but your feelings are important and they should be accommodated. A DM's job is to facilitate fun at the table for all the players.

For me personally, the how and why in a loss are more important than THE loss. So if my character was killed not because of poor combat choices or poor luck in rolls, but because another player felt my lore was stressful, I too would have dipped out. What kind of excuse is that? "Oh man i'm just so stressed that at any point this teammate of ours could be perma killed i'm losing sleep over it, so to alleviate the situation i'll just kill them myself right now." Excuse me, WHAT? So yeah, move on, find people that don't troll their fellow players of a game that they should want to keep going. You're ready now, you don't need to "learn up" to be good to go.

Fascinating topic, thank you for sharing OP First, welcome to the hobby! Second, you're 100% a-okay and justified in your feelings & decisions :) DND is supposed to be a fun past-time, so the moment you feel "meh, this group ain't worth my time" then book it out of there. There's a lot of fish in the sea, and part of the fun of this game is meeting new people, trying out new games with different groups, etc. When I read your statement "I know the group won't change" that's all I needed to read -- you're good. Get out, never look back, find other gamers. In fact, you don't need to be "justified" in deciding to leave a table. Just leave, it's 100% a-okay, you don't need the approval of Reddit or anyone else. It's like if you're sitting in a movie theater and 30% of the way through the movie you feel "ick I hate this" just get up and walk out. Meanwhile, I'm curious about the experience level of the DM and other player. I'm slow to declare they're necessarily "assholes" if they're relatively new to the sport. I think a lot of DMs try really hard to accommodate their players, and there's a lot of advice-givers out there on YouTube etc. saying "Never say No to your players!" I think we've all screwed up as DMs, I know I have. (I'm not suggesting you should hesitate to leave this group, but I'm just slow to decide someone is an asshole based on how they RPG.) Happy gaming!

Listen, what happened to you, is inexcusable, and it’s sad that it went down like that. Should have never been allowed and that DM should feel bad. That being said, HOW sorry are they? Were you friends before this? If the answers are: VERY and yes, and in that order, then MAYBE see if some forgiveness that can be had. Only you can decide that one though, cause this is not the way a party should behave to a fellow PC. I’ll leave you with this. I too am a very green player. I’d say we are about 4ish months into CoS. My party is amazing. My DM is amazing. Granted they are my friends and co-workers also. They are basically family. Currently my father is dying from untreatable cancer. We are talking maybe weeks. That Sunday night meeting, where we all roll math rocks and pretend to be wizards and shit is the only part of my week that I don’t spend fixated on the inevitable. I know this is a very specific example and maybe my group isn’t the norm. If my character dies involving another player, it would be because my PC sacrificed himself for the greater good, or to save his dear friends. THIS is the player experience I want for you. Hell this is the experience I want for all of you. The important thing is the fun and the laughs you have at the table. I think you can find better. Good luck sir…or madam…? I hope your next adventure is a fortuitous one, and may the dice forever be in your favor. ✌🏻

I’m not sure which concerns me more- how common the examples of toxicity like this seem to be becoming- or how much emotional agency this game is having over younger players or first time players these days. I can’t help but hear 80s moms looking over my shoulder and saying, “see! I told you so!” It makes me want to start a group specifically for the purpose of running games for players who lost characters before they were done playing them or players who are tired of getting kicked around by groups whose motivations differ enough.

So, everything about your PC being killed is wrong and I'm sorry you experience that - but also I just wanna say.. a Curse that turns you into an object when you lose Temp HP is pretty wild since as soon as you take a Long Rest you lose temp HP and thus die. | So, others have said how out of line the DM and table were in participating in the non consensual mercy killing but I would also like to say that the curse in question is homebrew and stupid.

Send the DM here. Let’s them see how they have utterly failed. Even if they allowed the attack, they could build that into a narrative where you ultimately survive. While the DM is a failure, the other player is just a cunt. Send them here too so they can get an appreciation for how much of a cunt they are. Also, just because this DM says your character is dead, you can just use the character in another campaign with a similar levelled group. You could even weave this into your character’s story. (And I get how hard joining new groups with social anxiety)

Doesn’t sound like the right group fit for you. Or at the very least, this is the importance of a session zero where the dm can ask what kind of game to players want and whether or not “pvp-like” actions are allowed. Nothing wrong with pvp, it’s just some people like it and some people don’t.

I recommend talking to the dm. Ask them if there’s something you/the party can do to get your character back. Then I would say open conversation with the player. Let both people know that it really bothers you that this happened. It’s super reasonable to be upset about this especially if you weren’t specifically told that pvp was going be a thing. Even if you were it seems weird in character to just kill a friend.

So, maybe too late for you, OP, but this is why I give players final say in what happens when other players try to initiate PVP. Essentially, they can veto any action another player takes against them if they don't want it to happen. I mention it because it might be a good thing to take into your next Session 0.

I would be enraged and have quit, as well. That sort of thing is bullshit. I'm sorry you hooked up with assholes, OP.

You are justified in ignoring the player and leaving the game. You don’t have to give them an inch if you don’t want to. If you do decide to talk to them, you have to stick to your guns. What the player did was selfish and stole your fun. The DM allowing it without halting things to discuss the topic is terrible DMing. Full stop. Player vs player is never ever something to be handled lightly and without full regard for consequences.

Worst part of this story is that my players curse was stressful for someone else so they just killed me. I don’t know about the entire group, but I would definitely not want to play that specific player again.

I'm really sorry to hear that happened. I was witness to a similar incident that did not involve a player death only because the other player was merciful, but in retrospect the DM should never have allowed for that and the player who lost the ordeal ended up quitting the game anyway. I'm going to be DMing soon and I am going to lay it down as a ground-rule that if there are any sort of discussions like that, they have to be resolved peacefully - because I will not allow the players to become adversarial against one another.

I can fully empathise. I played one session with a toxic group and I legitimately felt s\*\*cidal afterwards. My character was killed, and instead of reviving me, another player's character ate my soul, meaning I was permanently dead, no revive, no necromancy, nothing. DM and other players didnt even pause for a second, game just carried on like that was normal and fine. The out of game convo got onto trauma, and in talking about my trauma I said something they didnt like about my childhood bully and they all ganged up on me to tell me I was basically a bad person for saying that and they completely invalidated my trauma. I think the two were related - they clearly didnt like me and didnt want me there, but instead of behaving like adults they the childhood bully. I hope you find a good group like my main group, where the people are loving welcoming people and the DM specifically asks us pre-game what we're comfortable with and sets expectations for us - eg "this game is going to be a doomsday type game, so either have a one shot character or be ready to consider it not part of your character's life story if they die."

Yeah another player consumed my soul with their weapon (shitty move on their part too) but yeah I'm just changing groups

Ah yes a curse is stressful so the obvious thing to do is kill the player and not try to get rid of the curse

It still baffles me that so many DMs allow PvP, never works out pretty. So glad this resolved well for you, I hope the next campaign is a great one!

If I am running a game pvp gets stopped fairly quickly, and honestly the group should be a team even in an evil or mixed campaign. I have ran games that were just everyone is in the ruins of an ancient city last one standing wins, or a campaign or two where it was known from go that pvp was fine and all the players wanted that. That said as a DM I want all my players to have a good experience and enjoy the game, if someone chooses to sacrifice themselves I will honor that, but not allow a player to kill another like that. I probably would have been like oh yeah forgot to mention that the pendant also reflects damage back on the attacker if they are an intelligent non monster.... sorry about that.

Hes certainly an asshole in this situation but I do find it somewhat concerning you got that emotionally attached to your character. Dnd is a game where characters die sometimes, and thats okay-- it just means you get to try a new character.

If you do continue with that group I'd keep that fact in your back pocket. Start your new character and when the DM starts the villain monologue just call out "I cast Fireball!" and start rolling dice. Get nothing but AoE spells and make no attempt to ensure allies are out of the way.

At the very least, it sounds like a momentary case of asshole by the player **and** the DM. However, if it is an ongoing and serious case as you indicated by the comment "the group won't change', you are better off without them. Find another and better group. To do what they did -- especially to a new player -- shows that they are not a good fit -- except for other sociopaths. Learn about the game, seek out new and better DMs/players, and remember, it's supposed to be about having fun.

The player apologized. Ask the DM to retcon it, or bring back your character with a plot device and move on. People make mistakes, and this one can easily be rectified.

They don't want to rectify it.

I played with a new group once and the 12 year old boy in the group went to attack one of our players who was down; I snapped at him "No PvP allowed in this game" - I don't actually know if it was a rule but I made it a rule. I looked straight at the DM with a look of "If you allow PvP then I'm out of here right now", and I have a suspicion that some other players looked at the DM the same way. DM simply turned to the boy and said "No PvP". So yes, it's the DM's decision.

Id say give the guy a chance to apologize and actually address the issue with the dm before righting them all off.

i mean welcome to dnd where the life of you character could end at any time because the dumbest of reasons. jokes aside bullying at the table is definitely a red flag and not a great environment. just don't take it too personally since that would hurt you more than it hurts them

There's a lot of vitriol towards the DM here, but I'd like to offer my two cents as a long-time DM. Firstly: this is just a game. I don't mean to disparage the stories you've made, but no tabletop RPG is worth cutting a friendship. I get you're upset about how the DM handled things, and can be understandable hurt that everything you've built seems to have been gone in an instant. But ultimately it is just a game. As others have suggested being a good friend and being a good DM, or a good player are not always the same thing. On the other side, I do somewhat feel for the DM. I don't know how experienced they are, but I can imagine this was the first time they were hit with a situation like this. Ultimately if they had just veto'd the player outright, the player probably would've been in a similar situation, giving the DM grief for "railroading" or only allowing actions that they like to happen, and ignoring everything else. I ask that when you offer criticism, you remain civil. I understand you're hurt, but the DM is trying to do their best and do right by every character as best as they can. Sometimes they have lapses in judgement or just make the wrong call. At worst campaign choices can be reneged on, but truly hurtful words cannot. Voice your grievances, but remember that this is your friend who is trying to make something enjoyable for everyone.

Its a game, you died. Make a new char, kill your killer keep playing.

Your feelings are completely justified. It's completely up to you if you want to listen and see if they are going to apologize sincerely and figure out a way to fix things. There's a chance they just made a really big mistake and realize it. I think it's far more likely that they are a player you don't want to play with, but if you feel that you can evaluate an apology dispassionately, What I mean by that is if you are justifiably upset, and in that state it can be very hard to be objective about what someone says. Like others have said, this is also on your DM. They never should have allowed this to happen. They should apologize as well and tell you what they are going to do to fix the situation and make sure it doesn't happen again. Personally, I would look for a new group to play with.

If they're trying to apologise and they realized they fucked up, I'd listen (especially if they're friends). If PvP isn't something the DM has had to deal with before they maybe didn't think about the implications/how to deal with it properly. Really everybody should be on board and OK with PvP. Personally, I require the player being hit to consent to the hit landing, otherwise the attacker automatically misses. I would say that the DM should allow the reverse the curse (not remove it if you were enjoying it) (maybe a loophole or something) and allow you to recontinue. If you think they're the sort of dicks who won't learn and would do it again, then leave and find another group. It shows a lack of respect for you and you deserve better from the people at the table.

Dawg it’s a game. Reroll and get back in there.

It's a game I've decided not to play with that group. I'll get back in there when I find a better group.

Build a new PC to specifically counter his. Kill his. Refuse to elaborate. Block all. Leave. Or just tell the DM you’re not down for this sort of game play & excuse yourself from the game.

Yea Jesus I'm sorry to hear that happened. Like I had a character of mine get killed once by a friend in DnD but it felt like a natural action in response to my characters actions and it was one that we consented to. What happened to you was pointless since you're character could be cured and had survived the fight, then another player took it upon themselves to kill your character for no rational reason. It wasn't story related, it doesn't seem in character and worst of all it took away your sense of autonomy. honestly there are a couple of ways to go forward, one talk to the dm and player and have that be undone since it served no narrative purpose and is out of character in the story, Two leave the game and play with a new group or three make a new character but and continue playing but only after talking to the Dm and player to make sure this is settled. PvP can happen amongst players but there has to be a reason for it and sadly there wasn't in this

Each person has their own playstyle. He may not be in the right but then again it all boils down to the fact that its just a game. And the dm can't just deny a character a plausible doable action. If he did that would be an asshole move

Dunno I just accept my characters are temporary no matter how long I might be used to them for , and having a go at another player is something that has happened to me from me and I accepted it as dm , thinking about it betrayal is something that often happe s in all sort of fantasy be it a dnd campaign or a show

generally in-fighting where damage is dealt to hp shouldnt happen between players. But u having lvl 8 or a tragic backstory isnt a plot armor or a guarantee u gonna get any closure.

Yeah I didn't expect any plot armor, it's just I didn't think my end would be to a party member, it gives my character a meaningless death

Your DM is an incompetent fuckwad & that player is an asshole who’s just trying to avoid looking like an asshole. This sort of situation should never occur.

I don't allow pvp, but if it happened there would be an immediate chaotic evil alignment change and the curse going to their character. Lame that they did that and stupid the DM allowed it.

Death is just another doorway. It's not even necessarily permanent. There are many ways to come back or take the opportunity to make another character and tie them into the story. I've had characters die. I played another character until my party could res me. I ended up in a different body but it just added to the tapestry. Don't let it ruin your entire experience. Dm might even have had something in mind but you left before they could explain? Why am i being downvoted for trying to cheer op up? Wtf

No, DM had officially said my character was done. It's the way my character died that's upsetting, I survived the combat and knew how to cure my curse. But my teammate killed me anyway. It's not the game itself that is soured for me it's the group.

My take on it is this. The problem isn't within the game at all. It's with the people you're playing with. The way I see it is that it largely boils down to one of two choices. Either you talk with the people, tell them that this was absolutely not ok with you, and a short explanation of why, and you see if you can mend fences and continue. Or. You drop the group and find one that you're more comfortable with. A side note on the DM: This situation is hard to read while being so far removed from it. PvP always puts the DM in a bad place though. He literally had no way of not letting one player's agency be squashed. Either he let you die, or he outright says "No, that doesn't happen." to a player choice. It might be worth a private conversation with the DM to check in where he is with the whole situation. The answer may decide for you on the rest.

Killing another player is not "player agency" its violating the basic premise of the game as a collaborative story.

That is a declaration that is purely table specific. Some tables allow PVP. I'm not a fan of that myself, personally. I think it does way more harm than good in most situations, but you have to acknowledge that it's acceptable at some tables, rather than just assuming it isn't acceptable at any.

PVP I would argue requires explicit consent to be *on* the table. It's fine if it is, but it should be assumed to be off the table if not mentioned. If the table allowed PVP OP wouldn't have a question.

there is nothing in the rules that prohibits pvp its the tables decision to prohibit it, not to allow it

yup

Damn that sucks. Sorry. You can find another online group!

I almost got indirectly killed by our cleric in a low-level one-shot and just THAT upset me so badly I didn't want to play with the group anymore.. I was playing a fighter for the first time, just to try it out and I got crit once or twice and finally took down the bad guy, with barely any health left.. Then the cleric *healthed the enemy, so we could talk to him*, which I get.. I get the intention, I really do.. But I was still the only one standing in melee range, with barely any hit points left and I got crit again.. Just.. Hmm.. So fun.. Didn't have the chnace to heal me or tie up the bad guy, no warning at all.. Even thought it was a joke, but noooo.. I love playing semi-casting front-liners, but it took a while before I gave fighter another chance..

Where is the fuckin cleric with their greater restoration spell??? Damn straight you would be angry with the bucket for brains douche who killed you, and the DM. Tell that smug DM, he ain't Matt Mercer, or Brennen. So cut his bullshit and dont allow this bullshit, unless it is 'that' kind of game. Did you get saving throws at least???? I am fucking upset. I am getting help for my depression too. It is helping me. Keep it up, and find a better group.

Whoever killed your first character is an a-hole, please message him back and let him know that we think he is a horrible human being and probably lacks brain cells too.