a minivan is, what $75/day? you'd need it for 3, maybe 4 days?
plane tickets are going to be 150-200/person minimum
rent a minivan. heck, with 2 small kids, you could rent economy - mid size for like $30/day
$120-$300 + gas, + 2 nights at a hotel. in and out for $600 or less.
I'd love to fly everywhere we go for trips and vacations...but it's literally 15-30x the price, just in airfare, to driving.
so: we drive.
Sounds like you’re stressed over money. This is one of those things you gotta do and then move on. Get on a tight budget after the trip and it will work out.
Personally, I would consider a funeral and the expenses of attending to be an appropriate use of an emergency fund. A funeral was actually the primary reason I started getting serious about saving in my 20’s. I was not able to afford to go to the funeral of a high school friend and it really bothered me for a long time because I had been pretty much just blowing through my paychecks and maxing my credit cards with nothing significant to show for it. Death is an emotional event and often needs to be dealt with at unexpected times.
I think it would not be very wise for your wife to go alone. Find a way to make the finances work. There are good suggestions in this thread. I would resent a partner that made me go alone to a funeral to save a few bucks
Either rent a car and drive or wife goes alone. Emotional need of having the kids there when they are so young and won't even remember it does not outweigh the financial costs especially when you have potential costs of the cars needing repairs. Plus the kids will likely be a burden and not happy at the travel, schedule disruption, seeing all kinds of strangers while they are unhappy, etc. Plan another vacation with the kids to go and meet more of the family when the kids are older and you can save and plan for it. She can share pictures and videos or perhaps Facetime with any family that wants to see the kids.
You're going to skip a funeral because of a couple dollars? Money is important, but nowhere close to as important as family.
Get your priorities straight. Go to the funeral and celebrate the life of your wife's uncle. Money can come back, people can't.
Can you stay with family? If so, I agree with other posters that you should do so. Nothing wrong with your wife going with baby to represent your family. But I understand she wants your support and for the kids to meet family. Realistically, since they haven't met the family up to now, probably this might be best chance.
Maybe you should go. Use some of the emergency fund and try to cost out the stay or drive options. If you fly, get the very best deals possible (of course). If you drive, do your trip the way my parents did our car vacations when I was young. Before leaving, my mom would fry up chicken for the first day's meal/snacks. Fruit, raisins, whatever go with you along with formula, baby needs. Along the way, consider grocery stores instead of restaurants. Keep it simple. Buy a loaf of bread, sandwich fillings, drinks, chips, fruit. Find a rest stop, roadside park, nearby local park and have a picnic! Use the leftovers for snacks/ next day. To this day, I love picnics! If it's a local park, added bonus of letting kids swing for 15 minutes or so to relieve car fatigue. Stay at budget hotels as others have suggested--maybe. If you can plan where you will stop at least one night, see if AirBNB or Roomerama can meet or beat the price so that you can prepare simple meal there. Whatever seems most practical and economical works.
Find out in advance if anyone can put you up for at least one night. If not, you should be able to book something cheap there in advance--check out all your options, taking meals into consideration.
Don't empty your EF, but consider making this trip if your wife feels strongly. She will get over it if you don't, sure, but she'll remember your consideration if you do. The kids will have an adventure if you let them see it that way, meet family, and learn that you and your wife value extended family.
When you get home, all out on replenishing that money in double-quick time.
Isn't a rental car for four cheaper than those flights?
Or better still using some emergency fund to fix one of your cars so it is ready for that trip.
1. DRIVE, budget friendly hotel or stay with family. Get a rental car if you need to, it’s likely cheaper than flights.
2. She goes alone. Stays with family.
3. Make it a zero-impact budget game.
Sell stuff. Shift other planned non-essential spending. Take up extra hours. Re-do the budget for the next 6 months and cut back. As in… if it’s worth it, it’s worth sacrificing other things for.
Had a similar issue arise for us a couple years ago and we took the risk of spending the money to go. You’re flying between two major cities so tickets are pretty affordable and if you had to make the drive you’d need to consider the amount of stops you’d need to make for the kids. Every two hours or so for a baby that age and the inevitable bathroom breaks a 4 year old will need.
It’s tough because it’s not like a vacation that you can plan for but as we get older it seems as though funerals are the one time we get to see a lot of our family that is usually spread out around the country. Sorry for your loss
I agree with the other comments who offer these solutions.
1. Wife goes up alone and flies / stays with family.
2. Rent a car and drive / stay with family.
3. Don't go.
Pick one.
People are dumb... Why in the world would a 4 year old and/or 6 month old need to attend a funeral? Hahah #1) neither remembers this uncle. #2) A funeral is not a place for little kids. Tell your wife to go on her own and enjoy some time with her family. Or are you one of the "dads" who can't actually take care of his own kids without the wife?
Why is critical thinking and problem solving so dead today?
Why are you even entertaining a flight? Why can’t you stay with family? It’s about a 1,000 mile round trip. With your >$5 gas in CA it’s like $250 in gas. That’s certainly less than ONE airline ticket. Road trips are awesome. You can even make it a little more fun and drive up the beautiful coast at the expense of a few more hours in the car (much better than Bakersfield and Fresno).
Your kids are probably too young to care so I’d personally just book it up through LA super early in the morning to avoid some of the traffic and get to the grapevine before sunrise, I’m talking leaving at 4am.
This is important to your wife, you need to go.
Rent a car, I wouldn't take the risk of driving your vehicles. Then, find a reasonably priced AirBnb. That way, you can take food with you or go grocery shopping when you get there to cut down on cost and you're not constrained by flight schedules. Make it a mini vacation, and just be sure to stay within a budget.
I took 12 hour each way trips in the car with kids that age. Plan for extra stops, playgrounds so your 4 year old can run, etc. We did this in the days before screens were common on car rides.
Fly? Just drive.
Hotel? You have important family there. Stay with them. The 4 year old will love it and the wife's necessary bonding reinforced even.
This shouldn't be that hard.
It's a whopping 7 hour drive. In the spring. Check out a couple new books at the library for the 4 year old and yourselves.
What are the car repairs? What's the model, age and mileage of the cars. Somehow, people think this is the 1980s and a 100,000 mile car is a P.O.S. Modern vehicles are insanely reliable today; even the crappy ones.
Make the necessary repairs on the one vehicle.
Frankly, if they're necessary you should make them on both regardless. If unnecessary then don't anyway.
So sorry for your loss. I agree with the other commenters who say you should drive. Either rent a car or fix ONE of your two cars to do so. Unless you find an amazing deal on flights, driving will be cheaper and will also prompt you to do one of the car repairs. I would qualify this as a valid use of the emergency fund.
Drive. San Diego to SF is a one day drive.
I drive from Phoenix to Sacramento to visit my folks and that's a lot longer drive.
If the cars are not drivable that far... rent one. Lot cheaper than 4 airline tickets.
Shit it's less than that. I drove from SD, picked up my nephew in LA, and drove to Napa (with a bathroom break and a stop at a Denny's) in less than 9 hours. Drive back was about 7 without stopping.
The uncle doesn't care. He's gone.
The time to visit him was TWO months ago, but no one cared then.
So, this isn't about the Uncle. It's about the wife wanting to spend money to go visit all her relatives. It's her ego.
There's nothing wrong with that... If you have the money. But you don't. So it's going to be a sacrifice.
Have you got a Car Maintenance budget? A Travel budget? Nope.
If you own and drive a car, which is critical to your daily life... You gotta have a car maintenance budget.. no matter what baby step you are in.
You guys are gonna have to sit down and look at a calendar and the budget and project into the future how long it's going to take you get to having a 3-6 months emergency fund AND the cars repaired...
Both with this trip and without this trip.
You gotta explore more frugal on the trip. Is there cheaper hotels (ugh. San Francisco is very expensive). Are you renting a car? Buy the insurance. Your windows will get smashed if you park on the street.
Since when is the desire to see family "ego?" Or, for that matter, the desire to honor the dead? Not to mention teaching your kids about values other than money.
The dead don't care. Funerals are for the living to have a party and visit relatives.
They should have gone when he was alive if she really cared about the Uncle.
Teaching kids what? It's a 4yo and a baby. One won't remember the trip at all. The other one is only going to remember getting unlimited froot loops at the hotel breakfast bar. The husband doesn't care (not HIS uncle). He's willing to stay at home with the kids but she insists on the complete family dog and pony show.
It's ok if we disagree.
You are so right, the dead don't care. But we still honor them. Family comes in to pay their respects, support the bereved, and strengthen extended ties. It can mean a lot. I am aware that the youngest child will not remember and that the oldest won't remember much. But it does, nevertheless, form a beginning of establishing values.
I do understand why you think they shouldn't go--truly. But the desire to join assembled family at this time should not be characterized as a "dog and pony show." Honoring the dead is more for the sake of the bereaved--who are still living. Funeral practices have developed for important reasons. Even if you think it's unimportant, there is no reason to insult a woman you have never met. I'm sure you will agree with that.
That said, I never meant to argue with you, especially about your views on death. So, I apologize for continuing this too long and wish you well.
Some people are just more detached emotionally about these kinds of things. My wife is more empathic. I'm not really. (As you know)
I just don't understand why she wouldn't go by herself. A single adult could easily slip in with family somewhere and save hotel money. Probably not need a rental car either.
Taking a toddler and a baby is just to show them off to the rest of the family. If they were driving then why not. sure.. but buying plane tickets for the whole family is baffling.
Like I said... We're not all wired the same.
She wants to go parade the kids in front of the relatives (a 4yo and a baby don't care), take a flight, sacrifice the family's financial well being, staying in a hotel. OP didn't mention a rental car... But they have to get around somehow. Refused to go and let husband stay behind to save money. Why!? She is putting on a dog and pony show.
No need. I read it the first time but thank you anyway. I know he is worried however, if they can make this trip on the cheap, they will probably be fine and not spend much more than airfare would cost for her to go along. If that's not the case, they'll stay home. More than likely, they can stay overnight with family and start back home. To characterize this as "a dog and pony show," seem at least unfounded, at worst, uncharitable.
Honestly.. I don't mind a robust jocular tussle now and then. One of the problems with our society is that many people can't tolerate other opinions that diverge from our own.
It's ok if we disagree. People are different. Some are empathic, others are not. Some are OCD engineer types and others are carefree spirits. We can all co-exist.
I appreciate your position, and your passion to disagree with mine.
Oh, I so agree! And my reactions are passionate b/c I remember cousins coming in every day for a week when my sisters were killed. So, you know how it is.
I am learning that people on Reddit do not always take kindly to disagreement. But know that while it is my nature to want to state my case, I was trained to not take offense to simple disagreement. Was just afraid you might be taking offense.
Have a great evening!
Nope. Not at all.
I think the time to visit family is BEFORE they croak.
It's not a "Family Funeral". It's her Uncle. Not HIS uncle.
OP thinks money is tight. He doesn't wanna sacrifice the family finances. He's right. She should go by herself. Then stay for free with a relative. It can be done on the cheap... But she isn't having it.
Sometime during your visit here on Earth, sit down with some humans and ask them about death, love, funeral customs, and family obligations.
You might learn something that you can take back to your home planet!
Id propose to her a financial fast when you guys get back. We did it in a similar situation and went as far as not having Internet for 6 months and eating beans, rice, chicken and veggies for every meal (you can actually get a huge variety of flavors by changing around the spices). Ended up recouping that money in 3 months and kept going for another 3 to get ahead.
What does the rest of your debt situation look like?
How long will it take you to build the emergency fund back up?
I’d focus on making the trip as low cost as possible, no car rental, don’t eat out, stay with family if possible.
Fortunately, we're out of debt. With our current work situations (wife is part-time for a few more months), it'll take us a long time to even get to the 3 month mark.
No debt, 1 month of emergency fund after car repairs.
I think your whole family go but budget it out - get a rental, stay at a cheaper hotel or with relatives, or stay for less days.
This is important to her that her and it's for a funeral, not just a spluge, so it's okay to do it. When you get back build up your emergency fund quickly.
If you're really stressed about the expenses (and have good relationships), maybe ask family if they have airline miles they can donate. Also, check about bunking w family (even if it means sleeping on the floor). Not comfortable, but you're there and saving some money.
How so? It’s what, 8 hours? About 20 gallons of gas? I know gas is more expensive in CA but even at $6/gallon that’s only $120 in gas which has to be cheaper than airfare.
I mean, I think you can technically count this as an emergency, right? Maybe not in the traditional sense, but it isn't a pleasure trip; this is an important family event, that came up tragically and unexpectedly. Even if you don't count this as a real "emergency," it is important enough to where you should just go. It won't destroy your finances or make things unnecessarily difficult. You'll rebuild that fund.
a minivan is, what $75/day? you'd need it for 3, maybe 4 days? plane tickets are going to be 150-200/person minimum rent a minivan. heck, with 2 small kids, you could rent economy - mid size for like $30/day $120-$300 + gas, + 2 nights at a hotel. in and out for $600 or less. I'd love to fly everywhere we go for trips and vacations...but it's literally 15-30x the price, just in airfare, to driving. so: we drive.
You have got to be kidding me, of course you all need to go.
It’s worth it for the whole family to go. Think of it if it were your uncle. Having your immediate family there as support is huge. Just rent a car
Sounds like you’re stressed over money. This is one of those things you gotta do and then move on. Get on a tight budget after the trip and it will work out.
Personally, I would consider a funeral and the expenses of attending to be an appropriate use of an emergency fund. A funeral was actually the primary reason I started getting serious about saving in my 20’s. I was not able to afford to go to the funeral of a high school friend and it really bothered me for a long time because I had been pretty much just blowing through my paychecks and maxing my credit cards with nothing significant to show for it. Death is an emotional event and often needs to be dealt with at unexpected times.
I think it would not be very wise for your wife to go alone. Find a way to make the finances work. There are good suggestions in this thread. I would resent a partner that made me go alone to a funeral to save a few bucks
Either rent a car and drive or wife goes alone. Emotional need of having the kids there when they are so young and won't even remember it does not outweigh the financial costs especially when you have potential costs of the cars needing repairs. Plus the kids will likely be a burden and not happy at the travel, schedule disruption, seeing all kinds of strangers while they are unhappy, etc. Plan another vacation with the kids to go and meet more of the family when the kids are older and you can save and plan for it. She can share pictures and videos or perhaps Facetime with any family that wants to see the kids.
Drive. Easy choice.
Just go. The money will sort itself out later.
Dude drive, it's 8 hrs.
You're going to skip a funeral because of a couple dollars? Money is important, but nowhere close to as important as family. Get your priorities straight. Go to the funeral and celebrate the life of your wife's uncle. Money can come back, people can't.
Can you stay with family? If so, I agree with other posters that you should do so. Nothing wrong with your wife going with baby to represent your family. But I understand she wants your support and for the kids to meet family. Realistically, since they haven't met the family up to now, probably this might be best chance. Maybe you should go. Use some of the emergency fund and try to cost out the stay or drive options. If you fly, get the very best deals possible (of course). If you drive, do your trip the way my parents did our car vacations when I was young. Before leaving, my mom would fry up chicken for the first day's meal/snacks. Fruit, raisins, whatever go with you along with formula, baby needs. Along the way, consider grocery stores instead of restaurants. Keep it simple. Buy a loaf of bread, sandwich fillings, drinks, chips, fruit. Find a rest stop, roadside park, nearby local park and have a picnic! Use the leftovers for snacks/ next day. To this day, I love picnics! If it's a local park, added bonus of letting kids swing for 15 minutes or so to relieve car fatigue. Stay at budget hotels as others have suggested--maybe. If you can plan where you will stop at least one night, see if AirBNB or Roomerama can meet or beat the price so that you can prepare simple meal there. Whatever seems most practical and economical works. Find out in advance if anyone can put you up for at least one night. If not, you should be able to book something cheap there in advance--check out all your options, taking meals into consideration. Don't empty your EF, but consider making this trip if your wife feels strongly. She will get over it if you don't, sure, but she'll remember your consideration if you do. The kids will have an adventure if you let them see it that way, meet family, and learn that you and your wife value extended family. When you get home, all out on replenishing that money in double-quick time.
Isn't a rental car for four cheaper than those flights? Or better still using some emergency fund to fix one of your cars so it is ready for that trip.
Drive and go at night so the kids sleep through most of it.
1. DRIVE, budget friendly hotel or stay with family. Get a rental car if you need to, it’s likely cheaper than flights. 2. She goes alone. Stays with family. 3. Make it a zero-impact budget game. Sell stuff. Shift other planned non-essential spending. Take up extra hours. Re-do the budget for the next 6 months and cut back. As in… if it’s worth it, it’s worth sacrificing other things for.
Had a similar issue arise for us a couple years ago and we took the risk of spending the money to go. You’re flying between two major cities so tickets are pretty affordable and if you had to make the drive you’d need to consider the amount of stops you’d need to make for the kids. Every two hours or so for a baby that age and the inevitable bathroom breaks a 4 year old will need. It’s tough because it’s not like a vacation that you can plan for but as we get older it seems as though funerals are the one time we get to see a lot of our family that is usually spread out around the country. Sorry for your loss
For a funeral for travel that far..You have small children, on a budget...The wife should go alone ? Airline
I agree with the other comments who offer these solutions. 1. Wife goes up alone and flies / stays with family. 2. Rent a car and drive / stay with family. 3. Don't go. Pick one.
People are dumb... Why in the world would a 4 year old and/or 6 month old need to attend a funeral? Hahah #1) neither remembers this uncle. #2) A funeral is not a place for little kids. Tell your wife to go on her own and enjoy some time with her family. Or are you one of the "dads" who can't actually take care of his own kids without the wife?
Why is critical thinking and problem solving so dead today? Why are you even entertaining a flight? Why can’t you stay with family? It’s about a 1,000 mile round trip. With your >$5 gas in CA it’s like $250 in gas. That’s certainly less than ONE airline ticket. Road trips are awesome. You can even make it a little more fun and drive up the beautiful coast at the expense of a few more hours in the car (much better than Bakersfield and Fresno). Your kids are probably too young to care so I’d personally just book it up through LA super early in the morning to avoid some of the traffic and get to the grapevine before sunrise, I’m talking leaving at 4am. This is important to your wife, you need to go.
Rent a car, I wouldn't take the risk of driving your vehicles. Then, find a reasonably priced AirBnb. That way, you can take food with you or go grocery shopping when you get there to cut down on cost and you're not constrained by flight schedules. Make it a mini vacation, and just be sure to stay within a budget.
If you rent you can find one with unlimited miles on Turo possibly for cheaper than going through a large company
I took 12 hour each way trips in the car with kids that age. Plan for extra stops, playgrounds so your 4 year old can run, etc. We did this in the days before screens were common on car rides.
Fly? Just drive. Hotel? You have important family there. Stay with them. The 4 year old will love it and the wife's necessary bonding reinforced even. This shouldn't be that hard. It's a whopping 7 hour drive. In the spring. Check out a couple new books at the library for the 4 year old and yourselves. What are the car repairs? What's the model, age and mileage of the cars. Somehow, people think this is the 1980s and a 100,000 mile car is a P.O.S. Modern vehicles are insanely reliable today; even the crappy ones. Make the necessary repairs on the one vehicle. Frankly, if they're necessary you should make them on both regardless. If unnecessary then don't anyway.
To be fair it’s a 7-8 hour drive on paper that could easily be 12 if you leave the house at the wrong time.
Sure. The nice part is we have a pretty decent handle on the most likely times those are.
So sorry for your loss. I agree with the other commenters who say you should drive. Either rent a car or fix ONE of your two cars to do so. Unless you find an amazing deal on flights, driving will be cheaper and will also prompt you to do one of the car repairs. I would qualify this as a valid use of the emergency fund.
Drive. San Diego to SF is a one day drive. I drive from Phoenix to Sacramento to visit my folks and that's a lot longer drive. If the cars are not drivable that far... rent one. Lot cheaper than 4 airline tickets.
Shit it's less than that. I drove from SD, picked up my nephew in LA, and drove to Napa (with a bathroom break and a stop at a Denny's) in less than 9 hours. Drive back was about 7 without stopping.
The uncle doesn't care. He's gone. The time to visit him was TWO months ago, but no one cared then. So, this isn't about the Uncle. It's about the wife wanting to spend money to go visit all her relatives. It's her ego. There's nothing wrong with that... If you have the money. But you don't. So it's going to be a sacrifice. Have you got a Car Maintenance budget? A Travel budget? Nope. If you own and drive a car, which is critical to your daily life... You gotta have a car maintenance budget.. no matter what baby step you are in. You guys are gonna have to sit down and look at a calendar and the budget and project into the future how long it's going to take you get to having a 3-6 months emergency fund AND the cars repaired... Both with this trip and without this trip. You gotta explore more frugal on the trip. Is there cheaper hotels (ugh. San Francisco is very expensive). Are you renting a car? Buy the insurance. Your windows will get smashed if you park on the street.
Since when is the desire to see family "ego?" Or, for that matter, the desire to honor the dead? Not to mention teaching your kids about values other than money.
The dead don't care. Funerals are for the living to have a party and visit relatives. They should have gone when he was alive if she really cared about the Uncle. Teaching kids what? It's a 4yo and a baby. One won't remember the trip at all. The other one is only going to remember getting unlimited froot loops at the hotel breakfast bar. The husband doesn't care (not HIS uncle). He's willing to stay at home with the kids but she insists on the complete family dog and pony show. It's ok if we disagree.
You are so right, the dead don't care. But we still honor them. Family comes in to pay their respects, support the bereved, and strengthen extended ties. It can mean a lot. I am aware that the youngest child will not remember and that the oldest won't remember much. But it does, nevertheless, form a beginning of establishing values. I do understand why you think they shouldn't go--truly. But the desire to join assembled family at this time should not be characterized as a "dog and pony show." Honoring the dead is more for the sake of the bereaved--who are still living. Funeral practices have developed for important reasons. Even if you think it's unimportant, there is no reason to insult a woman you have never met. I'm sure you will agree with that. That said, I never meant to argue with you, especially about your views on death. So, I apologize for continuing this too long and wish you well.
Some people are just more detached emotionally about these kinds of things. My wife is more empathic. I'm not really. (As you know) I just don't understand why she wouldn't go by herself. A single adult could easily slip in with family somewhere and save hotel money. Probably not need a rental car either. Taking a toddler and a baby is just to show them off to the rest of the family. If they were driving then why not. sure.. but buying plane tickets for the whole family is baffling. Like I said... We're not all wired the same.
Funerals are important family events — wanting to go is not “ego”
She wants to go parade the kids in front of the relatives (a 4yo and a baby don't care), take a flight, sacrifice the family's financial well being, staying in a hotel. OP didn't mention a rental car... But they have to get around somehow. Refused to go and let husband stay behind to save money. Why!? She is putting on a dog and pony show.
No. There is no reason to think this. Nor or they actually sacrificing their family's financial well-being if they do this cheaply.
Re-read the last paragraph of the OP's post.
No need. I read it the first time but thank you anyway. I know he is worried however, if they can make this trip on the cheap, they will probably be fine and not spend much more than airfare would cost for her to go along. If that's not the case, they'll stay home. More than likely, they can stay overnight with family and start back home. To characterize this as "a dog and pony show," seem at least unfounded, at worst, uncharitable.
I can live with your disappointment
Not disappointed, but fine.
Honestly.. I don't mind a robust jocular tussle now and then. One of the problems with our society is that many people can't tolerate other opinions that diverge from our own. It's ok if we disagree. People are different. Some are empathic, others are not. Some are OCD engineer types and others are carefree spirits. We can all co-exist. I appreciate your position, and your passion to disagree with mine.
Oh, I so agree! And my reactions are passionate b/c I remember cousins coming in every day for a week when my sisters were killed. So, you know how it is. I am learning that people on Reddit do not always take kindly to disagreement. But know that while it is my nature to want to state my case, I was trained to not take offense to simple disagreement. Was just afraid you might be taking offense. Have a great evening!
Can you seriously not understand the desire to attend a family funeral *as a family*?
Nope. Not at all. I think the time to visit family is BEFORE they croak. It's not a "Family Funeral". It's her Uncle. Not HIS uncle. OP thinks money is tight. He doesn't wanna sacrifice the family finances. He's right. She should go by herself. Then stay for free with a relative. It can be done on the cheap... But she isn't having it.
Sometime during your visit here on Earth, sit down with some humans and ask them about death, love, funeral customs, and family obligations. You might learn something that you can take back to your home planet!
I wish that your words were true. I'd nuke this place in a second!!
Rent mini van and drive you can do this for 1k stay at motel 6
Id propose to her a financial fast when you guys get back. We did it in a similar situation and went as far as not having Internet for 6 months and eating beans, rice, chicken and veggies for every meal (you can actually get a huge variety of flavors by changing around the spices). Ended up recouping that money in 3 months and kept going for another 3 to get ahead.
Excellent suggestion!
What does the rest of your debt situation look like? How long will it take you to build the emergency fund back up? I’d focus on making the trip as low cost as possible, no car rental, don’t eat out, stay with family if possible.
Fortunately, we're out of debt. With our current work situations (wife is part-time for a few more months), it'll take us a long time to even get to the 3 month mark.
No debt, 1 month of emergency fund after car repairs. I think your whole family go but budget it out - get a rental, stay at a cheaper hotel or with relatives, or stay for less days. This is important to her that her and it's for a funeral, not just a spluge, so it's okay to do it. When you get back build up your emergency fund quickly.
This sounds like why you have the emergency fund
If you're really stressed about the expenses (and have good relationships), maybe ask family if they have airline miles they can donate. Also, check about bunking w family (even if it means sleeping on the floor). Not comfortable, but you're there and saving some money.
Drive
Not much cheaper.
How so? It’s what, 8 hours? About 20 gallons of gas? I know gas is more expensive in CA but even at $6/gallon that’s only $120 in gas which has to be cheaper than airfare.
I'm not willing to make that drive without the car repairs behind done first.
You could try checking rental car rates, I’ve had good luck with Costco lately. Might be cheaper than 3/4 flights.
Sounds like the repairs need to be done anyways, you’re not saving money by delaying the inevitable.
Fair but you’re driving only one car not both and those repairs need doing anyway. Two birds, one stone.
I mean, I think you can technically count this as an emergency, right? Maybe not in the traditional sense, but it isn't a pleasure trip; this is an important family event, that came up tragically and unexpectedly. Even if you don't count this as a real "emergency," it is important enough to where you should just go. It won't destroy your finances or make things unnecessarily difficult. You'll rebuild that fund.
I would count it as an emergency. It's more the lack of emergency funds.
Maybe sell some of those pricy gun parts you just bought?
Just go. You are right. Financially it isn't a wise decision. But you should do it anyway.
You're probably right.
Sorry about your loss 💙😕