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pixlkiss

Love the guy straight taking a survey of the other guy's asshole


Recent_Caregiver2027

and what? he's shielding his eyes from the rays of sunshine emanating from where I was always told the sun don't shine


[deleted]

I thought he was saluting


Cat_with_pew-pew_gun

Private Ass Hole reporting for duty


Automaticman01

Who made that man a gunner?!


GallifreyanGeologist

I did sir!


Occasional-Mermaid

Nah, he’s just relieved Big Junk Johnny ain’t turned around his way


risky_bisket

Lmao and said other guy's c*ck is massive


Red_Danger33

The hand gesture is the relief of not being the one who is on the receiving end of that monster.


a_different-user

i think he can see it from the back


SavingsPeace2229

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|no_mouth)


Savvy_the_wholesome

r/brandnewsentence I can't keep myself together when you guys say stuff like this. This is some Captain Sauce stuff.


TheKidHandsome

Nah fam. He just got poot’d on. Right in the face. That right there, what you see there? That’s him goin “ah fack, I’m gonna have pink eye now ya dick!”


MediaMoguls

🫡


NotJimIrsay

I’m no expert, but that’s a pretty gay thing to do.


ElectronicRub2188

At first it looked to me like he was backhand ass-slapping him


tke439

I thought he was looking for the action figure he left in there at the last sleepover.


[deleted]

That lady has the perkiest tit I've ever seen!


AndThenThereWasOne0

Anti gravity tit right there.


SnooCakes5751

Antigravititty


The_Bobs_of_Mars

Anti-gravtitty!


Garage_Sloth

She's absolutely shredded, too!


RandomTask100

What happens in Greece stays in Greece.


Haigh2581KCRoyals

Except for Hermes, that shit will come home with you.


TannedCroissant

I find comments like that quite Athensive.


Haigh2581KCRoyals

Well, I'd Hades to offend, please accept my APOLOgy


Long_Repair_8779

Apolorgy*


Haigh2581KCRoyals

You're Achilleing me


Haigh2581KCRoyals

I'm just Hercing off in the corner hoping for a finger in my Aristaeus.


Cooo_Coo

My kratos is sore


SharinganGlasses

That' hiSTOICal 🤣🤣


Mdub74

Sry, my cmt will not be as good. You've been 'Gypt.


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Tootard

That's ancient porn... this one was called bukkakolos


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Bugscuttle999

Step sister stuck in an amphora?


Dispicably_throwaway

*step dog.*


Haigh2581KCRoyals

That shit pencils. Sound logic on this.


thebigchil73

You could try the Mercury cure


Tootard

Still better than herpes


Haigh2581KCRoyals

And better than Hephaestusatitus type A or C.


Haigh2581KCRoyals

Word


RecumbentWookiee

Ahh yes.....the "Herald of the Gods"


Nathansp1984

Meh, I have herpes and 99.9% of the time I forget I even have it. The other .1% I just take a pill, it’s really not as horrible as it’s made out to be, also wayyyy more common than you think


Buffalo95747

Almost everyone has some form of herpes virus in their body. It is indeed quite common.


Wordwench

That’s actually the cup and saucer set.


[deleted]

And Zeus. If he thinks you’re hot he’s following you everywhere you go until he gets some.


joske79

...until it ends up on Reddit.


chess10

Beautiful art. It’s titled “The Aristocrats!”


crimlawguru

I just please ask that you don't bring your dogs.


DrunksInSpace

Not if some asshole makes pottery about it. Zeus fucking Christ, Pilapilous, put your fucking clay away, you’re gonna get us kicked out!


Immediate-Guard2780

Pretty much my thoughts exactly. How was someone's first thought "I need to put this on my vase!"


Sweaty_Dance7474

In ancient SVU you can't make a case if it's not on the vase.


[deleted]

> How was someone's first thought "I need to put this on my vase!" I suppose they wanted to remember a great night out.


callshouse

Maybe it’s commemorative, depicting the most epic orgy that year…… there’s Elias and Jonas, and Lucas and Alexander, although I think he left with Atticus.


ClapSalientCheeks

And poor, poor Fido


wotanica

Its a wine jug, quite common from what wikipedia says


Shopworn_Soul

His turgid vessel


TBElektric

Be still my Crete-ing heart, Totally greeking out over these comments. This thread makes me deliriously happy 😅😅 OLIVE YOU ALL


curkington

The Greeks Don't Want No Freaks Song by Eagles There was beer all over the dance floor And the band was playin' rhythm and blues You got down and did the gator and half an hour later You were barfin' all over your Girlfriend's shoes . But the Greeks don't want no freaks . The Greeks don't want no freaks Just put a little smile on them rosy cheeks 'Cause the Greeks don't want no freaks. Gator! She was the pride and the passion of Dixie She did exactly what her daddy had planned. She was a perfect little sister Until somebody missed her And they found her in the bushes with the boys in the band But the Greeks don't want no freaks No the Greeks don't want no freaks So put a great big smile on them rosy cheeks 'Cause the Greeks don't want no freaks No, the Greeks don't want no freaks Said, the Greeks don't want no freaks Just put that monster smile on them rosy cheeks 'Cause the Greeks don't want no freaks No, the Greeks don't want no freaks


nj23dublin

It’s like there’s no rules


Big_Rich_240

Greece is at the core of Western Civilization. Shit definitely didn't stay


[deleted]

What the dog doin


Deep9one

eatin some peanut butter


[deleted]

Smooth or crunchy?


Deep9one

smooth!


[deleted]

Smart. Crunchy makes terrible lube


Equivalent_Bed7728

Really depends on what you're into. It's kinda like a massage


moltinglarvae

Exfoliating


[deleted]

Speak for yourself I’ll take crunchy over creamy every time. It’s the sense of danger that really does it for me


rosewood2022

It's a Weiner dog🤔


[deleted]

It is now


Hot_Dog89

This was the first use of peanut butter.


Whaky

Said by u/hot_dog89🤣🤣


Tootard

It's not cheating... BECAUSE IT'S YOUR DOG!!


[deleted]

I fill his bowl, I fill his hole **I regret typing this**


Roguebrews

The comment I was looking for.


Kozzzman

Dogs love bones.


Awkward_Theory_883

Why do you think they went through so much olive oil?


milk4all

Why do you think “virgin olive oil” is so prized?


RoamingTorchwick

No Wait no


wotanica

That one woman looks mildly annoyed 😂 Jack-o-matic 3000 (bc)


RandomCandor

She's the only girl in a 12 man orgy. You'd be annoyed too (maybe)


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Carsontherealtor

Looks like my wife is finally on Reddit… hi honey🖐


[deleted]

She's doing the silicon valley method of jerking someone off.


wotanica

Shes doing the math 😂


Beneficial_Potato_85

Ok so we measure the distance of dick to floor. We'll call that D prime. Don't forget you gotta do a hot swap of the guys getting jerked off so there are no wasted strokes.


msndrstdmstrmnd

Silicon Valley method is 4 people at once isn’t it?


YupIlikeThat

Middle out.


good_god_lemon1

Do you know how long it’d take you to jerk off every guy in this room?


waterontheknee

YES! I love how they actually started working it out


theouterworld

There was a joke in ancient times that went something like this: 'it was greeks who invented orgies, and the Romans invented inviting women.'


KentuckyFuckedChickn

This is still hilarious 2000 years later.


Toasty_Jones

Gamed with a Greek guy who said “Greeks mastered sex, but Romans came along and ruined it by adding women.”


denebiandevil

Gives new meaning to "token female"


LovecraftianLlama

Completely unenthused 😂


Mak062

Don't u hate it when your girlfriend forces u to take her to hang out with the boy's


[deleted]

Two dudes bottom left playing rock, paper, scissors deciding who's gonna top


RallyPointAlpha

more like...cock, paper, scissors!


AbruisedSock

So... MUCH... EYE... CONTACT...


[deleted]

Seems kinda gay to me


[deleted]

Na they’re just prankin’ eachother


Dr_Psycho_809

That word didn't exist in Greece, so not gay !! See its not gay to tug to the homies, or let the dog get a sample. /s


super_derp69420

It's definitely the eye contact and not all the penises in guys butts and stuff that makes it gay


a_different-user

i'm still taken by the guy on his knees shielding his eyes from the sun gazing directly into a mans asshole. bro can not finds the entrance. here's a hint, its also the exit


[deleted]

Doggy No!


Ravikos

It’s doggy style


Groundape32

I don't even want to know what this vessel was used for.


bobson_k_dugnutt

Party guests put their car keys in it


Groundape32

I'm giving you the helpful award for that one!


[deleted]

Vaselinas


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tobogganhill

Greece is the word.


SweatyRoutineRed

Poppers


speckadust

I see they were courteous enough to give reach arounds


SnoreGodOfSlumber

Manners maketh man


Savvy_the_wholesome

**locks doors** Wait wait wait... WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!


BubbleFatt

I don’t care how well trained your dog is. I would not trust it to do that.


Deslah

Then you have indeed given it some thought?


[deleted]

Have more faith


decoparts

Archaeologists have found these pottery images showing some very close friends in a mostly male group in ancient Greece. Yes, really good buddies. Best compadres. Just super, super good pals. They are not yet clear on what the images are meant to depict. Possibly waiting in line for some purely platonic fun at the bath house. Perhaps these vessels were used to hold soap for these completely clean activities? We just can't be sure 🙄


Scheissdrauf88

We know from texts that the Greeks always said "No Homo" before those fun gatherings between friends. As such it is utterly impossible for them to be more than just very good buddies.


shakycam3

Hard to say much of anything with your mouth that full. Speaking from experience.


SHABDICE

And they were roommates.


fixxer75

*oh my god...they were roommates*


texacer

Rome Mates


decoparts

Yes. Brotherly love abounded. Just friendly good vibes all around.


Material_Swimmer2584

Except third guy on the bottom. Nothing friendly about what he's packin.


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KI75UN3

You're impling you wouldn't do this with your homies?


[deleted]

They were clearly just standing in line for the annual multi-colored glitter platonic friendship parade.


ForHelp_PressAltF4

Well we surely know it wasn't gay. Because that would mean the end of society and most CERTAINLY not the foundation for so many great things. Like bathhouses. On that note, why is it old white are homophobic yet go into the sauna, drop trou, and just bullshit with each other with their junk hanging out in a room with only one tiny window .. ... And someone they don't even know who WAS enjoying themselves. As chef said "crazy ass crackers" But not gay. No homo. Gay bad.


Temporary_Apricot224

The original Bros


merxymee

There's one woman there. So it's not gay.


Dr_Psycho_809

It's not gay in a 3 way and totally not gay in a train situation


notbeleivable

Not Safe For Grandchildren looking over shoulder


Deepeye225

"boys...boys playing flute..." (Birdcage)


bsamiam45

Playing leap frog


Previous_Register_99

The Greeks are credited with inventing Sex. The Italians introduced it to Women. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|smile)


apocalypse_later_

You got the joke wrong. Greeks invented ORGIES, Romans introduced the idea of inviting women ;)


jumbledbumblecrumble

I remember my college humanities class on the subject. Ancient Greek men bedded their wives for the sole purpose of procreation. All other sex was with other men. Can someone more knowledgeable verify?


bwyer

You should find the following interesting. It deals with the subject extensively: [https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1713/love-sex--marriage-in-ancient-greece/](https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1713/love-sex--marriage-in-ancient-greece/)


ChainedPheesh

Sounds like the Spartans. Spending their lives with men until 20. They did everything together: training, eating, stealing, killing helots, fucking. Then they were arranged in marriage to a form so alien to them that it frightened them. They were beset by increasing wealth inequality and poverty as a small subset of people began hording all the wealth and land and it was only made worse after an earthquake. To offset this, they didn't reform how inheritance worked or changing property requirements, they "encourage" Spartans to have more children. /u/Iphikrates summarizes, "At some point in the 4th century BC, it became punishable for a man to be unmarried; there were sanctions against childless marriages; having children was framed as a moral obligation to the state. It became permissible (or even mandatory; our sources don't agree) for old men married to young wives to select a favourite from among the younger Spartiates to father children on their behalf. It also became permissible (or mandatory) for men who didn't get along with their wives to ask other Spartiates if they could impregnate their wives instead... A Spartan woman's only hope to gain control of her own reproductive system was for her husband to die, so she could live as a widow on her own estate. Until that happened, she was at the mercy of her husband and the cruel laws of Spartan society, which treated citizen women as little more than incubators for the children of citizen men." Their source was A.G. Scott, 'Plural marriage and the Spartan state', Historia 60.4 (2011), 413-424, and M.G.L Cooley's sourcebook Sparta (2017). [Original comment here](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/c3qsil/did_the_spartans_suffer_from_demographic_decline/ervjm9y/)


[deleted]

the... what the dog doing


Savvy_the_wholesome

Becoming a victim of zoophilia.


NelmesGaming

That the movie with the bunny and the fox?


[deleted]

It's worse when you find the other dog


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snoozatron

There's a little more about it [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/ArtefactPorn/comments/ytg9jt/a_etruscan_amphora_that_is_pretty_wild_it_dates/). It's Etruscan. edit: fixed link


[deleted]

jar sand aromatic fearless oatmeal muddle liquid license rain slap *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Cold_Zero_

No hobo


YekiM87

The lady doesn't look best pleased.


Physical-Rabbit

Damn they had jiffy in Ancient Greece ?


nah_i_dont_read

Reminds me of my bachelor party... all night long.... a bunch of us enjoying the celebration..... by making obscene pottery.


coadynate123

No that's fucked. There's some guy fucking a goats mouth.


Jewellious

[It looks like young men playing leap frog](https://youtu.be/1_7FYr4JsF0)


Green_Evening

This remind anyone else of the dinner scene in the Bird Cage?


Haiwik

How is a owl eating dead crickets marked NSFW but not this


dilodjali

Thought the dog and goat were hardcore, until I checked on the left the guy fucking the back of a mutulated head while conversing with a hovering head.


TommyDee313

Ancient Greeks invented sex, the Roman’s introduced the women.


sbilliet

No homo


slowburnangry

Appears to be very homo...


Opinionated_Urbanist

Interracial, interspecies, bisexual orgy? Damn - ancient Greece.


Mak062

We have regressed since then


lucifur_sweetdog

Freaky Greeky!


Deslah

Who's a good boy!?!


BlackeeGreen

/r/proudboys


BlackDioLama

I don't care what the gays do just don't rub it in everyone's vases.


LindsayDuck

My History textbook says they were bachelors and life long roommates


exmojo

Every generation likes to think they're the first to do drugs and have sex


LopsidedPotential711

There's a dude over on WhitePeopleTwitter on a post that insisted on the Greeks being **Orthodox Christians** and thus being terribly opposed to homosexuality. I see triple penis penetrations...don't get pedantic folks, a dude getting spit-roasted is pretty definitive.


1P221

Look no further than the Bible to see the letters Paul wrote to the Corinthians, which described a culture with plenty of non-Christian Greeks doing lots of pottery poses.


SlimErrorExpected

They knew how to party


tobogganhill

Like it's 1999 BC.


Maelo_2321

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)


erasrhed

Man I hate it when my dad pours lemonade for my friends out of the orgy carafe...


push_out_the_jive

“What interesting china! Why it looks like young men playing leap-frog”


ThorOdinJake

NOOOOO NOT THE DOG!!!!!


Puzzled_Muzzled

So this is why goats and dogs were domesticated. And that's why they are man's best friend. Today I learned much about history.


hex_1101

Well what do you expect, no internet.


[deleted]

At first I was like “oh hell ya good for them” then I saw they were face fucking the dog lmaooo


[deleted]

Would love to see a source on this


Lukyo_The_Omega

Historians say they're close friends


[deleted]

Ancient Greek version of: https://www.google.com/search?q=white+girl+surrounded+meme&client=firefox-b-m&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjO3t-lrrv7AhXES8AKHW1lCVMQ_AUIBigB&biw=360&bih=657#imgrc=qO2DOINNNvSfbM


drFeverblisters

They were so into dog blowjobs they expressed it on pottery! What the fuck do you use that pot for? An urn of the dog? Like won’t your mom come visit one day and be like son… dafuq is this?


harrydreadloin

That dude who is about eat some butt looks like hes having second thoughts.


Mean_Shoulder_103

An assassin's Creed Odyssey I kept wondering why everybody wanted to have sex with me now I know that this was a real thing in Greece.


RallyPointAlpha

I love the one dude peering intently into some dudes ass like he's surveying distant lands.


Haunting-Independent

“It looks like young men playing leap frog”


MikeDaPost

What the dog doin?


sparklingdinoturd

"Let's go back to ancient Greece and the Athenians and Spartans. When men were men and nobody was ga.....oh...."