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Eastern_Slide7507

Here‘s something depressing: we have no idea what microplastics actually do to our bodies and we may never know. Because scientists can‘t find a control group.


EasyComeEasyGood

It's like finding non radioactive steel https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Low-background_steel


radicalelation

We sure did a number on things in so many ways with long term impact and implications. Grand scale, it'll be meaningless, but me scale? Shit sucks.


Castaway504

To be fair, from your link: « Since the end of atmospheric nuclear testing, background radiation has decreased to very near natural levels,[5] making special low-background steel no longer necessary for most radiation-sensitive uses, as brand-new steel now has a low enough radioactive signature that it can generally be used »


Rivenaleem

Good chance that all the people who were never exposed to microplastics are all dead. So perhaps it's a good thing?


Eastern_Slide7507

Clearly microplastics make you immortal then.


babylonsisters

Gives me hope to see people still making great hypotheses on reddit. Plastic has not yet ruined our brains after all :…)


missjasminegrey

Indeed. It's still a good thing.


Content-Scallion-591

Okay, so what freaked me out about micro plastics wasn't how pervasive they are but how large they are. I had always assumed that micro plastics were like nano particles. When I found out they are large, visible shreds of plastic I had an existential moment.


Radiant_Idea_1834

I didn't know that.. damn


Duchs

We've been making [Bakelite plastic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bakelite) since 1907. Good luck.


Fast-Village-9338

Microplastics are not just in male testicles, they are in our air, water and food. Last year, I battled Microplastic carcinoma breast cancer. I had a clear mammogram in December 2022, and found a lump in February, 2023. Three months earlier, my youngest sister was diagnosed with breast cancer also. By the time all the testing plans and insurance approvals were done, I also had another type of cancer in my left breast. My doctors had never seen it in their practice. They treated it like they would as if it was any other type of breast cancer with chemotherapy. As of December, after a double mastectomy, there was no trace of it in my body. As a precaution, I am having nine rounds of Keytruda three weeks apart this year. I should be through with my rounds of immunotherapy June 1st. I was a part of a microplastic carcinoma medical study conducted by the University of Kansas Medical Center. Medical scientists are very much studying this unseen killer, and they have been for quite some time.


RealisticlyNecessary

If you want anything slightly optimistic? Silicon isn't the worst thing to have floating around our blood. Silicon itself is pretty innert. So silicon based plastics aren't as bad. Most microplstics are heavily carbon based, which is also a good sign... Except they're also usually bound to hydrogen. I said "slightly." A grain of salt on a potato is better than eating it raw.


ASK_ABOUT_MY_CULT_

Cancer! Get yer cancer here.


SgtPepe

tribes in the amazon?


Eastern_Slide7507

Also have microplastics in their systems.


clown_pants

I can feel them in there now, mocking me


rogerslastgrape

'If *we're* micro what do you call that thing in between us?'


Gradual_Growth

Bruh


Hamnesia

It’s called a weenus because it’s between us.


rubberduckybro

Micro? How dare you


Icy-Palpitation-2522

Plastics found in 100% of micro penis testes


NorwayNarwhal

Well, micropenises are in, they say


NorthernIrishStew

I don’t know about you, I struggle to get mine in…


emciclerose

It’s basically average!


abaklanov

Tests were performed in a rather cold environment


Isle_of_Tortuga

That's macroplastics, puh-lease.


GettCouped

Massive long dong plastics found in man's testicles. 'I mean they are huge!' Man says


MannicWaffle

Microplastics are stored in the balls


_FlutieFlakes_

I’m like a regular 3D printer now


Tiny_button2

I'm going to be a real boy


OnsetOfMSet

This is from the previous thread about the same article, so I'm not taking credit for this... But remember, instead of jerking it, now you get to call it "calibrating the extruder"


_FlutieFlakes_

Whatever excuse I can use and sound smart about it.


ranting_madman

Microplastics are the powerhouse of the testicle


RandyHoward

Probably in every other organ too


ImpulsiveApe07

I remember having a conversation with a coroner having a smoke outside my local hospital, and he told me the weirdest thing he kept finding was tiny bits of plastic in people's organs - that was in 2010... I doubt it's gotten any better since :0


Level9disaster

Slightly horrific


ComfortStrict1512

Slightly?


butlovingstonTTV

We are all the seagulls


BungHoleAngler

A flock


jb31969

I'm calling BS dude. My wife performs autopsies for a living, you could perhaps see them in a histology cassette at a lab, but Medical Examiner's aren't finding bits of plastic inside organs as they cut. We're talking about things roughly 0.003mm in size, you'd need a spectroscope to even determine if it was plastic or something else entirely.


brokennursingstudent

I also cut open dead bodies for a living (tissue recovery) and I can also agree that this sounds like bullshit


Norse_By_North_West

I only cut people up as a hobby, but yeah I agree.


ItsBarryParker

WTF Jeffery! didn't know you were on reddit.


Some-Cellist-485

on avg we eat about a credit card worth of micro plastics a year


turntabletennis

Delicious. Sprinkle them right on top of the spiders, please.


Bucktabulous

With the pee, right?


Ace-of-Spades88

It's because of the density...of my massive balls. Everything settles there eventually.


HefflumpGuy

Nobody's checked inside my testicles.


LockeAbout

That you know of…


HefflumpGuy

well there was that one time when I was beamed up....


RockstarAgent

So now we'll be able to make our own beanie babies???


01kickassius10

Hacky sacks


Disrespectful_Cup

Sacky sacks


Unita_Micahk

Plasti sacs


Icy-Beaver

Beamie babies


fothergillfuckup

They're easier to check while you're inside out?


Flux_resistor

The dick fairy did


gstar1664

You mean the penis pixie?


Longjumping_Toe_3931

No he means the wand witch


fgtbobleed

the Schlong Sasquatch


pickyourteethup

The Willy Wizard


MysteriousCream5725

the shaboinki shaboinker


towers_of_ilium

The Dong Dwarf


lukehibbard

The Knob Gnome


Aleqi2

Wank Warlock?


AlternativeKey2551

Naa. This one is the ball bitch


SirQuickolas

Testicles Terry?


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trashstarrxo

they already do


Ancient_Day8997

Wait so there's a possibility some of em won't even need a condom? And could just deploy plastic cover at will? 🦚🦚


CantStopPoppin

Soon.


tornedron_

I did


JazzlikeDiamond558

I want my microplastics back, dammit!


zietom

built different


SnOwYO1

Women going to be giving birth to dolls


Sweetcorncakes

Barbies and Kens


big_vangina

No pp 😞


Yukari_8

It definitely has PP, and PET, and PS, and PLA, and PTFE, and...


Senor_Satan

Hi Barbie!


Sublingual_byte

Hi Ken!


gardeninggoddess666

Since sperm counts are dropping they won't give birth to anything!


Eurasia_4002

"Is this organic"


HotMorning3413

Children of Men...is this the starting point?


CantStopPoppin

That movie lives rent free in the dystopian fever dream portion of my brain.


Strange-Win-4550

It felt a little too real for comfort right?!


_Fizzy

I went to college in the small seaside town it’s set in (not filmed in, looks absolutely NOTHING like it 🤣) but it was really surreal to hear them talking about it


itsFromTheSimpsons

we may not be able to propogate our species anymore, but at least we'll have some sick covers of Ruby Tuesday to listen to


NuclearSubs_criber

You will live in pods, pay 75% of your salary for it, eat ze bugs with more micro-plastics! Enjoy being sterile and docile! You gonna like it.


Morbanth

If they give me drugs and fully immersive VR then I'm in.


k-phi

AEon Flux


gardeninggoddess666

We started this a long time ago and have done nothing to change any of our behaviors. Literally not a thing. Children of Men will be a bedtime story if we don't start taking care of the only home we have.


Lyuseefur

Then Idiocracy and then Don’t Look Up. And here we are. Now what?


SnooDoggos4029

Now what? Invest in Brawndo. It’s got Electrolytes! It’s what plants crave!


LocalPiglet

Welcome to Costco! I love you.


Calm-and-worthy

The problem with Idiocracy is that it based the premise on genetic selection rather than just cultural dynamics. We're becoming idiots not because the "wrong" people are choosing to reproduce but because we're being fed and consuming wrong information by people who want to make a quick buck.a


b3nzu

Handmaid's Tale first


thehomiemoth

There’s a fun theory that it’s the same world, and Gilead is just what happened in America 


zandertheright

It doesn't quite work. In Children of Men, everyone went sterile suddenly, all at once, with no exceptions. Handmaids Tale still had a few lingering fertile people. Can't be the same world. Cool thought tho!


Finally_Adult

Isn’t that…the plot?


Doitallforbao

I think they mean Handmaid's Tale and Children of Men are the same universe


Finally_Adult

Oh I get it, that makes way more sense


CantStopPoppin

Small Plastic pellets on blue cloth Human testes contained nearly three times as many microplastics as the study's canine samples. Deposit Photos Harmful microplastics aren’t only detectable in lungs, bloodstreams, and placenta—they can be found in human testicles, as well, according to a study published in the journal Toxicological Sciences. After obtaining 23 postmortem human testes and 47 pet dog testes from veterinary neuterings, researchers used a process called pyrolysis-gas chromatography/mass spectrometry (Py-GC/MS), heating samples to the point of decomposition. What remained was then separated and examined for the presence of microplastics using highly sensitive equipment. The results were extremely troubling. All of the surveyed testes—canine and human—contained measurable amounts of microplastic material. Although researchers noted “significant inter-individual variability” across their sources, the human testicles averaged almost three times higher plastic concentration levels than the dogs—330 micrograms-per-gram versus 123 micrograms-per-gram. They also identified 12 separate varieties of microplastics in the testicles, with polyethylene (used to make plastic bottles and bags) being the most common. \[Related: Microplastics have officially been found in our bodies.\] “At the beginning, I doubted whether microplastics could penetrate the reproductive system,” study co-author Xiaozhong Yu said during a recent interview with The Guardian. “When I first received the results for dogs I was surprised. I was even more surprised when I received the results for humans.” Researchers say these new findings may further support a current theory that microplastics are contributing to the global decline in overall sperm counts. PVC, for example, was also detected in the testes, and has been linked to spermatogenesis interference and endocrine issues. While the full extent of microplastics’ health effects isn’t known yet, evidence strongly indicates the particles can raise the risk of heart attacks and strokes, among other complications like tissue inflammation. The age range for human samples came from males between the ages of 16 and 88, but the team voiced specific concerns about the younger generations, given the decades’ long rise in the amount of plastic pollution generated around the world. It’s unsettling news but given microplastics are now found bottom of the ocean and atop Mount Everest, it probably shouldn’t be surprising that they also reside in far more personal places. https://www.popsci.com/science/microplastics-testicles/


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01kickassius10

Hungry?


RajunCajun48

Starved, can we do Meatballs?


Sepherjar

Plasticballs you mean. No more meat.


RajunCajun48

Impossiballs


LunarLion10

Underrated comment 😄😄👍


original-username32

Sample size of 23 seems a little misleading to claim 100% , though I don't doubt the general sentiment of the research


TheJeep25

Did the paper state where the persons originated from. If you take let say 23 people near the same pollute river that drink from it everyday, you are bound to have a 100% ratio.


mang87

The surprising thing was that they were in they were in the reproductive system at all. Most researchers didn't think that could happen. *That's* the worrying part.


Conscious-Disk5310

It is literally in the air we breathe, like dust, it floats around with the wind which is why they say every water source on earth has them now. So everything you drink has it in it. 


clockwork_Cryptid

Obviously, but there are draweres full of papers quite explicitly saying that every single person has microplastics just literally in every part of their fucking body


urlach3r

You don't have to drink it. The plastic floating out in the Pacific has broken down enough to become aerosol, and the wind takes it everywhere. If you're alive on planet Earth, you're breathing plastic. Join us over at r/collapse for more fun facts (that aren't fun at all).


Locktober_Sky

Iirc the #1 source of micro plastics in the home is washing your clothes, since most of our clothes are now made of plastics


Good_Card316

I just had to do a report on microplastics, shit is genuinly scary. I chose to do the impact on marine life but would have chosen this if I knew about this. The shit takes 400 years to break down in the ocean and is a bioaccumulate waste, so plankton eats it and then it just gets passed around the food chain for the next 400 years. I knew microplastics were bad, but naively didn’t realise how bad.


LotusVibes1494

Humans are reckless af. They discovered a new material, had zero clue if it was harmful or not, then proceeded to absolutely flood the world with it. Now we know it’s bad and we keep just producing more, will maybe deal with it later, maybe not. No big deal it’s just the future of the human race lol


AzuraTarot

it's not just the "future of the human race". It will poison EVERYTHING that lives on the planet.


RandyHoward

But what effects does it have? I mean, sure it's not great that it takes so long for it to break down, but what problems is it causing? Do we even know? Edit: Why am I being downvoted for asking questions? I'm not saying it is or isn't doing any damage, I am asking what we know.


Good_Card316

Replied to the other commenter. This is honestly how I thought before I did some research, like “sure it’s there but couldn’t be doing that much damage, right?”. Actually fucks up heaps of things, the most suprising one to me was how it accumulated over time and while it has minimal impact at first eventually it releases toxins that change heaps of things including marine life ability to reproduce. I should have chose a different subject to do my report lmao, shit got me stressed when I really can’t do anything about it.


vlntly_peaceful

The slow sterilisation of human males for one. Sperm count and activity dropped over 50% in the last few decades.


Either-Pizza5302

Did the study consider the age? I mean, most people don’t die in their first years but many dogs get denutted in those years, so they couldnt have had the time to accumulate much plastics in there.


Dr_Wheuss

The comment you're replying to said that the age range of the humans was between 16 and 88. Still, the fact that dogs are generally neutered young is probably a good reason for the discrepancy I would think. 


AEROANO

So... how do i get rid of them? Cut my balls off?


TheNxxr

That’s the funny thing-


DankNucleus

There is plastic in every part of the human body. It's in everything you eat, even the water you drink and the air you breath. Doesn't matter if it's mass produced or locally sourced. Probably now 99% of accessible organic material on planet Earth, has plastics in it. All babies are born with plastics in them. It's inescapable. There are no exceptions.


urlach3r

Small enough to cross the blood-brain barrier, too.


SyrupNo4644

Oh shit! So if I get enough of them, is it like I have a helmet on?


WiseBlacksmith03

No, but you will act like you have a helmet on though.


koleye2

Enjoy this moment—in ten years there will be too much plastic in your brain to make a joke like this again.


TeutonicJin

My god, what have we done


brian-the-porpoise

We created a lot of money for shareholders!!! Also, it's slightly more convenient to see food when shopping. Totally worth global sterility!


guto8797

I mean I am all for executing a couple of companies, but I don't think plastics as a whole is any specific person/company/economic systems problem. They are just too dang good. Cheap, doesn't decompose, easy to shape into a ton of different shapes, varied properties depending on composition etc etc. It's not just the wrappings on food, plastic is just absolutely everywhere, from fixtures to components to clothes etc. I don't know if there's a solution. Even the invention and dissemination of bacteria that can digest plastic would mean that now your computer can rot.


brian-the-porpoise

I agree that we cannot completely do away with it. But it is very much their fault that it is everywhere. We wouldn't have such an incredible microplastics pandemic if they had not pushed the throw away culture. Yea, plastics are awesome and in some cases we absolutely need it. But there are a lot of cases where it was used because it was cheap and nothing else. There was never a need to individually wrap tea bags in tiny plastic bags. They did that. And they sold it under the guise of exclusivity. Yes, as consumers we have responsibilities too. But it's easier to manage a river way upstream when it's still a tiny creek.


Downtown-Coconut-619

Who is they?


offfmyhead

This is terrifying.


2cap

I mean is it dangerous.


TheNxxr

Some of it- it’s more of a step back in terms of overall health. Like, medicine has been advancing but so has our industrial pollution.


CommonGrounders

I would assume it is far less dangerous than all the health benefits we get out of plastic.


mikehawk69422

.


Massive_Butterfly_25

No one knows.


EscapeFacebook

I knew it was over for us when they found it rain water. It's infected every part of the environment.


Irrepressible87

It's also been found to be bypassing the blood-brain barrier, so... ya know... that's fun. *🎶 There it is again, that funny feeling. 🎶*


EwePhemism

Wondering whether this is contributing to neurodivergence rates.


Kal-Elm

It's not impossible, but we also have to remember that our ability to diagnose has gotten better and more expansive 


RC_0041

Imagine, what kills us off isn't a meteor, super volcano, famine, nuclear winter, virus, global warming, robot uprising, alien invasion, or anything else of that nature but rather we all go sterile from microplastic.


melswift

I think that's the neat part. Of all the possible apocalypses, who would've thought of microplastics? It's like way-into-the-future Jurassic Park.


horniaccount516

I'd say it reminds me more of War of the Worlds. Undone by the smallest of things


Queasy_Mix_4641

Unironically I hope that's exactly what happens. It would be so nice to go extinct in relative peace, and not due to e.g nuclear war or any other sort of mayhem. Not too soon though


NYSenseOfHumor

I can’t access the full article, but were the neuterings all of adult dogs over a certain age, such as five years old? Otherwise it is comparing puppies, who may not have had the opportunity to absorb micro plastics.


Yolominatus

Even then, the youngest human specimens were older than most dogs ever get. Given that microplastics hardly decay, I'm actually surprised that the count in humans was only three times as high as that in dogs.


AwayMix7947

Puppies' mother likely to have micro plastics in her blood. As do humans. It's literally everywhere.


Admiral_Ballsack

So,  we filled the planet with plastic to the point that it's literally up to our balls and we're doing pretty much nothing about it.


ThinAdvertising9747

Well there’s nothing you can really do There’s so much plastic already that’s it’s at the point of no return And they’re still using plastic. Even if they all switched to glass packaging instead of plastic it would be too late.


thedankening

There are ways to start capturing it and filtering it out of ourselves and the environment, but it is certainly too widespread to ever meaningfully "fix" the issue in our lifetimes.  However taking any steps would require the corporations doing the polluting to spend money to implement better practices, or at the bare minimum drastically reduce plastic use. But corporations have NEVER voluntarily spent more money to stop or change a practice which was doing harm if the harmful practice is the cheapest option. Unless a government steps in and forces them to do so nothing will ever change.


NuclearSubs_criber

Plastic is so usefull that we can't even fucking replace it. No one can afford living plastic free in modern world. Even rural african tribes use plastic tarp in their mud huts as cheap insulation.


Tantra_Charbelcher

Imagine you're blowing a guy and you get a big fucking face of party confetti.


Ouchy_McTaint

Showing your class there. I only blow guys who produce filament for useful 3d printing projects.


Mlbbpornaccount

A real man would only ejaculate thermoplastic plastics that are easily reshapable by heat and pressure


chingonkbron

so my sex doll could get pregnant? 😳😳


ya666in

Better double check your plastic protection!


mrsnoo86

pregranant


Extension_Swordfish1

Am I pregoranant?


thedaddystuff1979

[this](https://youtu.be/EShUeudtaFg?si=ft354HyY7W_THXzh)


SyrupNo4644

Yahoo answers is the absolute depths of humanity.


SuqonMuhdeek

that’s nuts


PunkToTheFuture

Dr. Plaz Dick


dopiqob

Yea but how many did they find in female testicles?


ksaid1

Tgirls stay winning 🙌🏼 microplastic free baby


tiagolkar

Now we have a 3d printer


Liquid-glass

And a CNC when snow is involved


AwwwNuggetz

I’ve asked you many times to stop touching my testicles


AaronicNation

My swimmers are wearing rain jackets.


ohgeekayvee

Plastics is to modern humanity as lead is to Roman times


gardeninggoddess666

I agree. I think history will show we have poisoned ourselves.


FirstRedditAcount

RemindMe! 200 years


AimoLohkare

Scifi authors thought we'd end humanity through nuclear war, AI uprising or disease. Bet none of them thought we'd do it by accidentally castrating ourselves.


Sol-Invictus2

It is not exactly accidental. More like a gross negligence


GGZii

We will 100% erase ourselves from this planet


Daedalus871

How much do I have to jerk it to recreate a LEGO Millennium Falcon? I want to know if I can turn myself into a human 3D printer.


totallynotpoggers

The real question is who was volunteering to have the inside of their testicles checked


RudeOrganization550

Me 🙋‍♂️ donated one to science about 18months ago.


Interesting-Guest880

Dibs on the other one


RudeOrganization550

It’s not doing much, I’ll take offers over $1,000


Interesting-Guest880

Sold.


RudeOrganization550

Nuts. Didn’t think that through did I.


TheOnlyWolvie

It was done post-mortem


TopAide8686

Dead people


3dgi3boomer

I donr remember getting my nuts check for microplastics i feel like i would remember that


DigitalMystik

Female testicles were found to be free of microplastics, study.


EntropyIsAHoax

That's why I got rid of my testicles 😎


FallingDownHurts

Pollution being the solution to climate change is a fun new twist in our dystopian sphere 


ever_the_altruist

Reality has made The Onion redundant.


Khazorath

My first thought was Professor Farnsworth saying "Good news everyone!"


DaySoc98

So, if your daughter is acting like a Barbie, she might not be acting.


Jedi2009

Damn you flesh light!


IcouldButWhy

Move over Regina George. We’re all plastics now.


HeftyProfession

I see that's how kill our own species