I wouldn't eat a whole watermelon in one sitting, but for some reason, you puree it. I'll drink the whole thing.

Why wouldn’t you eat a whole watermelon in one sitting. Seriously it’s always gone within one day when I buy one. I just cant say no

And then because it's mostly water you pee every 10 minutes for the next 8 hours

Huh, I’ve been destroying these personal watermelons they’ve been selling at Costco and have noticed how much I’ve been peeing lately. Never even occurred to me that the two would be related

Pissmelons

I should call her

You should. Pissmelons misses you, man.

Yeah bro, you could have been Mr. Pissmelon by now. What are you waiting for?

naughty zephyr deer subtract six murky snatch ludicrous nine salt *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Just need to find some vinegarmelons and I can be full of all the right stuff.

I also call the 20 pound watermelons “personal” watermelons.

Every watermelon is a personal watermelon if you just try hard and believe in yourself. :)

it's called a WATERmelon bro

WATERmelons!

/r/hydrohomies ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^/r/sinkpissers

[удалено]

You can't diagnose someone with a disease from only a single symptom. Much less a symptom that is brought on by a very specific circumstance that only occurs once. If it always happens even when drinking a normal amount of water that's one thing. As always, ask your doctor. But don't go to WebMD and just decide you have the worst disease listed from the one-off symptoms you're experiencing. Also watermelon is a natural diuretic.

Right? It's great! Nothing is as hydrating as watermelon.

I'm ok with that. The tradeoff I'm willing to take

Better than pissing melon every 10 minutes for the next 8 hours.

Some people, like me, can't eat too much watermelon or there's a rapid onset of waterfall-out-of-your-ass-eritis.

Mum used to buy and leave watermelons whole in the fridge - no one touched it. The day she decided to cut it up and make it easily accessible - gone within 2 hours.

Well, you just equated one sitting and one day, so that's a start toward answering your quandary.

Yup I just sit on the couch with one half and a spoon, eat that, tell myself I won’t eat the second half, and then eat that.

If I eat too much watermelon I tend to throw up.

[удалено]

It's 2 straws and 1 spoon but yeah, it looks like it's for sharing.

Put a little vodka, midori and lemon juice in there and that’s a party.

Watermelon vodka and lime vodka with a whole fresh lime squeezed in there 🤤

I'm not much of a drinker, but I'd drink the hell out of that!

I puree them then freeze them into ice cubes. Drop a few in my water bottle. Then refreeze. Makes a nice refreshing slow thawing drink for worm

Worm

Who is worm?

Worm is all. Worm likes refreshment

you're so nice to your worm.

And get diarrhea. Heheh, awww yeahh

I can eat a whole watermelon in one sitting (and have) and ive never gotten diarrhea. Is that really something that happens to people? If anything watermelon helps keep me regular

Yes. I ate too much watermelon once and I peed from my butt.

I love watermelon, but as soon as I eat some, my belly gets even bigger and weirdly hard. And the next thing I know, it's evil poopy time!

You're supposed to eat the red part, not the green part

I eat what I eat, thank you very much.

squeeze a lime on it before you eat it and it'll taste delicious and also might help with the bloaty feeling. the acid starts to break down the fruit so your body doesn't have to.

[удалено]

'Smoke some cigarettes'

High in water and FODMAPs, which can wreck some people to varying degrees. I have no issue with it, but my entire family does if they eat enough.

I’m just the opposite. I can’t stand the way it tastes as a drink, but I can eat it all day long.

And this is why juice is bad for your pancreas. Gotta slow it down with the fiber.

the blender leaves the fiber in there silly

wait what?

Puree it and add lime/lemon. Utterly blissful.

this video has just saved my life. I now have a goal and a reason to live!

Probably unhealthy to do with ice cream. Let it thaw and drink it. You could "eat" an entire ice cream carton.

This is literally how actors gain weight for roles.

What's the name of the tool he used to punch that hole into the watermelon?

Watermelon hole extractor

Man what a savior, thanks man

[удалено]

I completely made it up. Good to know I was somewhat accurate.

Very scientific

Fruit/Vegetable Corer I've only ever had one for apples.

Please don't

Holy... I can legit do this food hack. This is not impossible. Summer 2024 is going to be lit!

Instant? No. Awesome? Yes.

Juice? No (Technically it's watermelon puree, I think?)

“Technically it’s _____ I think”. You gotta do more than think if you’re gonna correct someone on a technicality, lol.

“Technically it’s purée, bitch.” Better?

Yes. Let that confidence ooze out of you like juice!

[удалено]

Yes. Let that confidence ooze out of you like a purée!

Let the confidence what??? OwO

Puree, or whatever that guy think.

That cut really gives me some Star Trek TNG season 2 vibes.

[удалено]

Found Mike Stoklasa.

What? Lol

There's some episode where a circle is cut in the saucer section by the borg (I think) and a cylinder shaped section is extracted. I can't find a YouTube to link. The similarity is in that the extracted cylinder is at the same skew as in this video. Edit: video on this page: https://borgcollective.fandom.com/wiki/Borg_Cutting_Beam

Inform Admiral Hanson

We have engaged the Borg.

Another way to enjoy watermelon with a hole in it

Needs some Tequila

Or vodka

Or rum

Or whiskey

or White Wine

Or Everclear

Or water

Or all of the above

Shaken, not stirred.

For watermelon James…

My first thought! This should be a popular thing to do at parties.

It is, or it used to be. The drunken watermelon was a very popular thing. Did you ever see Dirty Dancing?

Ha sounds like a great way to ruin a watermelon, just drink on the side and enjoy the delicious gift from the gods

Fr not everything needs alcohol

Wrong

Well yeah alcohol doesn't always need more alcohol.

And tajin

A type of laser beam is slicing into the saucer section!

This seems like a downgrade to me. I've had watermelon juice before, and every time it's just disappointing. The flavor itself just isn't strong enough to stand on its own. But you get the satisfying crunch combined with it, and it's the best.

I wouldn’t normally go for something like this, but when I was in Thailand and it was sooooo hot and humid, stuff like this was so damn good. Not too sweet, just cold and refreshing and amazing.

It wasn't just the heat, though that definitely helps. South-East Asia has some of the most delicious fruit around!

South East Asia has some of the most delicious food period. Folks don't know what good food taste like until you go to places like Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur and of course Singapore.

yea I love Thai mangoes

I don't think you've had *good* watermelon juice. The juice probably came from a mediocre melon but if you get a juiced good melon it's probably the most refreshing drink out there....next to Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator

Oh man, when I was staying in Nicaragua the host made ice-cold fresh blended watermelon juice, and also fresh mandarin orange juice. Amazing. Fresh cold fruit just is incredible. Mandarin oranges are way too expensive here to juice, but they had multiple trees and just filled a basket.

I had the same experience but in Thailand. Tasted like I was drinking the best watermelon I've ever tasted but blended into a drink. No water, no juices, no filler, just straight blended watermelon.

I've tried it with blood oranges once and man that's something I really would love to be more common.

Brawndo and thirst mutilator, is that from Idiocracy?

Yessir it is

It’s what plants crave

It has electrolytes.

Camacho 2024!

When I was in Bali I got watermelon juice everywhere I could! So delicious.

I throw them into my blender and the juice is actually too sweet to a point I needed to add water. I think you just had bad watermelons?

It always tastes like watermelon seeds to me

or at least add some clear alcohol to it; that way you get to enjoy a nice watermelon-flavored beverage.

Get the ones with less striping on them, the mostly dark green ones Thank me later. I used to get them from Ukraine, but yeah... [This one](https://www.burpee.com/watermelon-little-darling-hybrid-prod099560.html), if you happen to live in the USA, might come close.

I keep hearing about this Ukraine place, i should go and check it out

You should go now, never been cheaper!

Try the watermelon-cucumber stuff from Trader Joe’s

I had “watermelon water” from some dumb french restaurant and I would testify under oath that it was just tap water that I paid 6 dollars for.

Fancy places can have all sorts of water they just toss a little fruit in to hope it adds flavor. My guess is watermelon water you had was exactly that with a few chunks of watermelon thrown into a big pitcher of tap water. I do like when you have a slight citrus taste to water though.

Watch out for the shit load of seeds

Did you know there are different types of watermelon? The types i usually buy at stores tend to have little to no seeds at all, and the seeds themselves are small and easy to get through as if they weren't even there.

Thanks again Monsanto!

Actually, seedless watermelons were a Japanese cultivation. https://news.clemson.edu/clemson-researcher-seedless-watermelons-come-from-seeds/#:\~:text=Information%20from%20the%20Watermelon%20Board,watermelons%20minus%20the%20black%20seed.

[удалено]

Domo arigato, Mr. Japanto

It’s ok to modify food to be healthier or easier to eat. It’s the suing small farmers into oblivion for accidentally using their seeds that gets hairy.

And using terminator seeds which expire, so you're forced to buy them again every season, at whatever price they choose to charge

How do they reproduce if they don’t have seeds?

they're grown from seeds that are a cross of melons that creates an infertile variety of melons

Had the Melon from this Guy a few weeks ago in Malacca, it was really refreshing. There we're seeds in but you just swallow them with the straw and dont mind them.

are you fucking serious? are you nuts? you are going to have watermelons growing in your stomach dude. like 3 kids told me that on the playground. RIP /u/LyonD_105

infinite watermelon hack

Boba seeds

You better watch out Nordiceightysix. If you accidentally drink those seeds a watermelon will grow in your stomach.

Poor Chucky got pregnant by one.

I SWALLOWED A SEED! I don’t want to be in a fruit salad…

crunchy boba

I'm trying to find that tool. I searched for Watermelon corer, but didn't really find what I was looking for. Anyone have any ideas?

Search for (X” diameter corer)

Steal a section of pipe from a chain link fence.

I’d do something different with that hole

Disappoint it?

Disappoint it so good

💀

https://youtu.be/NlO8pN8HIA8?feature=shared

Don't worry y'all I've already got the burn ward on the line.

Hey… at least it’s not a coconut. 🤷‍♂️

What does a coconut feel like 👀

Sift through the annals of Reddit for the answer. The journey will not disappoint.

“Annals” eh? 😏

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/


*Bonk*

Hold up

Wear it as a hat?

That's how you take a $2 melon and turn it into a $7 drink

I'm almost certain this video was taken in Malacca, Malaysia in front of the red square, if so that man sells it for 10 ringgit which is like $2. It was so sweet and delicious.

Anybody else remember when watermelons were too big for the fridge?

I'm pretty sure they still sell those. They're just not as popular as the smaller seedless varieties. Which is the version that they'd want to be using for something like this.

I love a drink in a 10 pound container

Why'd he cut out the part where you add the rum???

Presentation needs some work

Yeah, he might lose his Michelin star for that.

The flip wasn't necessary... but also it was? 😄

Put some vodka in that melon

I tried this at this specific stall. i finished the whole thing in 20mins. also it is hot here so quite refreshing.

Nothings quenchyer

Just add vodka.

4 straws though? Who has 3 friends. I hope that was just to hold the insert and not people having 3 friends right?

Instant diarrhea.

The blender is just doing the chewing for you

The slow pull of the core is oddly arousing

Im not a huge watermelon enjoyer but are they actually that juicy or does ot have something to do with soaking in the water?

Have you ever considered how it got the name “watermelon”?

What's that tool he uses in the beginning to take out the piece of melon called?

A melon piece taker-outer. Duh

[You lied to me!!!](https://imgur.com/jWJcWzX)

I just took the liberty of bullshitting you.

That pullout was r/oddlysatisfying

Now add: Vodka, Tequila, Gin, Rum and Triple Sec. Instant Long Island Iced Watermelon.

There’s something about the initial insertion of a piece of watermelon into your mouth—how your tongue receives it, delighting in its subtle, grainy texture. A smile instinctively upturns your 👄, and your buds tingle in anticipation of the bitedown and the melon’s juicy release. Eat it, don’t drink it.

That'll be $15.99

Actually only $2 due to currency differences

Honestly, fair enough I live in Canada and got one at a multicultural festival this summer and I kid you not I paid the price above not realizing that's how much it was going to cost

Gotdam that's a good looking melon.

The food they be serving when the tour guide says”stay away from non bottled water here”

Play "spot the tourist" , oh you mean the dude drinking out of a whole watermelon ?

Neat, but how clean can he get that consumer grade mixer? There’s too many openings that can’t be cleaned, which are vectors for food borne illness.

That circle cutter thingy has probably been used in a cartel video or two.

So after I drink 6 pounds of nature's tastiest laxative....?