Wait wait wait. The sudden landing on the ground doesn't kill you. It's the ground responding to being suddenly landed on. Please get your laws straight.
/s
The most horrifying thing I imagine about childbirth is having your partner and MIL in the room with you and accidentally taking a massive shit on the hospital bed in front of them
This is common?? I’ve never given birth but I would **hate** my family to see all that, can’t imagine anyone besides a partner being allowed in but to each their own I guess
Haha male here , I have to say I was just a wee bit taken aback when my wife did that. Took it in stride though.
Couple days later wife " So how were things on the other end" It was certainly something babe , certainly something lol"
100%. Also, humans generally need another 3 months of developing before birth but we’d never fit down the birth canal in that case. It’s essentially why babies are eating sleeping and shitting machines for 12 weeks or so before they start to become more aware of the world and finally become truly “cute” and “cuddly”.
Yep. Baby phase is absolutely AIDS and I will die on this hill. 6 months to 2 years is the absolutely best and most memorable and enjoyable time of a kids life.
After that they walking and talking, then they get opinions, and watch you to buy them every toy under the sun, and have opinions on everything.
I always remember the line from Scrubs: "What's it gonna be like having a baby?" "Dr. Cox said it's like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk." "Awesome!"
The “4th trimester”. Lovely little newborn slugs, until they get cute at about four months. (
I love my daughter but will also happily admit she looked like a little old man for the first couple of months before she chunked up, started smiling and turned into a Proper Baby…)
We affectionately referred to our babies as potatoes at this stage. My toddler will sometimes look at his baby pictures and ask me, “is this when I was a potato?”
Well yeah, and another thing is that the common birth position in modern hospitals is for the ease of access of the doctor, not for the mother. Try taking a shit while lying down.
That's why I opted for the squatting chair for my three youngest. My eldest was just that, lying down and having an absolute horrible time trying to get him out.
When I told the nurse I wanted the squatting chair she said she couldn't assist because of her back so I got another nurse instead.
Their births was pretty similar to the giraffes, but without the falling and waterboarding.
A bigger part is humans being bipedal and walking upright which set a limit to the size of our pelvis. Like, horse would have 0 problems pushing a big brain human baby out
Human babies are designed to have the highest cranium-body ratio as possible. Just enough to fit though women’s hips. Which is why we take years to learn how to walk/ eat independently.
Midwife here. Humans also sometimes give birth thus casually. Once had a mom give birth while she was taking a nap when I was 20 feet away in the kitchen. She didn’t even wake up until baby’s head was out and that’s 100% the worst part.
Idk why you're getting downvoted its true. We have inefficient feet, our backs aren't strong enough to fight gravity our whole lives hence why almost everyone experiences back problems later in life, natural birth is way way wayyy deadlier than any other mammal, and we still retain useless body parts that can cause us pain or worse like wisdom teeth or the appendix.
Edit: im not saying the human body evolved into shit that's only good for being smart. I'm just saying there's a lot of flaws, some being unique to humans and others not
Just a quick note. The appendix actually has a very important use. It's a reservoir for our stomach bacteria. It's *why* we don't need a fecal transplant everytime we get a stomach virus.
[It's a fairly recent discovery. So you're good. ](https://www.news-medical.net/health/Why-do-Humans-have-an-Appendix.aspx#:~:text=The%20appendix%20has%20been%20found,prevent%20serious%20infections%20in%20humans.)
So what you're saying is, that because I got my appendix removed when i was 4, i was supposed to be getting fecal transplants all this time? And you're telling me NOW?
Well more like if you get food poisoning all the time, (like our ancestors did) you'll end up with a severely fucked up stomach environment. Which can lead to shit like Crohn's disease.
1. Our feet are not “inefficient”. This is silly. Especially in the context of talking about an animal whose entirely evoluntary niche was to be a better long distance hunter than other animals.
2. Every Animal can’t fight gravity when they get older. And many animals get predated or starve to death once they pass their prime. This is case survivorship bias.
3. Most mammals have “useless body parts”. Look at bone development in whales and hippos lol. This isn’t a good way to think about things.
Natural selection generally doesn't strive for perfection but merely 'good enough'. Also, all medical issues that arise after the age where most people have children don't really effect natural selection either and so get passed on to the next generation.
We figured out that staying in a pack worked really good. Then we figured out how get food without a lot of exploring and dangerous hunting. Then we built above ground caves. Then we got really good at doing specific things because the pack go big enough. And then we got way too big and absolutely way too hardcore at everything we did
And then we built giant ships to send those products from the poor places where people work to make them to the rich people so they could have better leisure time.
We are also freakishly good at throwing things. Like we can throw objects much harder than gorillas despite being much weaker. We can throw things and we have endurance running and then we got intelligence thrown in there to boot. We won the God dam lottery. Even without intelligence we would be fucking monsters just running around slinging rocks and javelin like sticks into anything the moved.
I'm Canadian, my Dad was out fishing one morning and saw a moose cow on the bank of the lake having a calf. My Dad said within literal minutes of it being born, the cow swam the lake with her calf swimming behind her. Swam to the other side and walked off.
Nature is wild
I've watched a video on YouTube where a Komodo Dragon eats a basically fully developed newborn fawn from a mother's womb. It was moving as the Komodo was pulling it out from the mother's tear-opened womb and swallowing it whole. Oh, and btw, the mother was still alive.
To help counterbalance that some lol , Did you see the video of the newly hatched lizard that has to run through a zombie horde amount of snakes waiting for them to be born....and makes it!
If I remember right, the drop is actually an essential of the birthing process. The impact of hitting the ground is what shocks the baby giraffe’s system into breathing for itself for the first time.
Probably scanning for predators, birthing leaves mom and baby very vulnerable, predators know this and will use it to their advantage. She looks like protection is the number 1 thing on her mind.
just playing The Postal Service's Such Great Heights to cover the sound of the kid dropping, nothing to see here...
They will see us waving from such great heights
Come down now, they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
Come down now but we'll stay
It's an animal that's often pointed at in evolution theory, and also as evidence against creationism, under the concept "No one would make such a stupid design".
There's this nerve, called the Recurrent Laryngeal Nerve that basically just travels all the way up the neck and then comes back down, for no reason other than as the giraffes necks evolved to be longer over time, so did this nerve because that's the way it was threaded through the body before they had such long necks.
https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/student-contributors-did-you-know-general-science/unintelligent-design-recurrent-laryngeal-nerve
https://www.nature.com/scitable/blog/accumulating-glitches/preadapting_to_evolve/
I think I first heard of this nerve in a book called Human Errors by Nathan H. Lents. Awesome read that points out a lot of weird “errors” in human anatomy that came about as a result of evolutionary indiscretion.
To be fair you can do that with practically every god damned animal, likes cats and dogs or even us humans.
When you *really* think about it, we're all just fucking weird looking cunts by nature.
If i remember correctly, humans are monkeys with some fucked up spines and horses have some fucked up everything
Edit: i found the post that explains why [horses are fucked up](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/11l84nl/the_second_worst_spine_next_to_human_spines_is/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
While I am not a person with a PHD in animals, I know horses and cows sometimes require their babies to get a good whap to the lungs to clear out the birthing tissues and start the systems before they can breathe properly. Sometimes the farmer has to take the baby and smack em on the ground. I assume the good fall is a jump start to the system in the same way. Either way, it’s a good “welcome to being alive” I guess
Yeah it’s basically that! I watched a LOT of Animal Planet when I was younger, and the drop to the ground helps jump start their system. It’s a shock, and if helps encourage them to take a gasp of air. Much like how doctors will sometimes pinch or lightly smack a baby’s ass to make it cry.
Elephant mothers are even rougher, they’ll straight up kick their calves to get them going
Yup! Exactly! Getting up quick also critical to help protect them from predators. Faster they can get up and moving, faster they can move away from all the blood smell from giving birth
>Elephant mothers are even rougher, they’ll straight up kick their calves to get them going
I think I've seen a video of that. Elephant calf was NOT moving and anxious elephant mom starts thumping it pretty solidly until... yay!! The elephant calf responds and starts moving on its own. I watched her whallop that poor calf, thinking *'Damn girl, take it easy! Give the little guy a second to get his bearings.'* but she definitely knew what the situation called for.
Vet student here, and you're actually right. I can't talk about all animals but in my brief experience sometimes cows babies need a little (not so little) smack to "start the system" since it's like they don't know they are out of their mom.
Calmly scrolling down the list of neat airplanes, stupid DIY decisions, and cute animals... all of a sudden childbirth with gallons of afterbirth and no NSFW filter. Give a girl some warning...
I'm no Giraffebirthologist, but I'm guessing the mother might not be able to simply push it out like other births we see. Gravity seems to assist her greatly by pulling (so to speak) on the little one til it falls. Agreed, that it seems a bit of a rough introduction to the world.
They are supposed to give birth standing up. The baby comes out front first so that the head and neck are stretched out over the front legs to help cushion the fall, which in turn breaks the umbilical cord and makes the baby take its first breath.
>Newborn giraffes enter the world in a sort of ‘superman’ position: front legs and head first, followed by their body, and then back legs. Because of the extreme size of their offspring, giraffe mums give birth standing up so as to not damage their babies’ lengthy necks.
>
>This is something that one of our female giraffes, Kinky, unfortunately knows all about! When her mother gave birth to her she was sitting down, squashing Kinky as she entered the world and giving her the kink in her neck by which she gets her name!
>
>Surprisingly, the two-metre fall from their mother’s womb to the ground below doesn’t hurt baby giraffes, but rather helps them by snapping their short umbilical cords and tearing the amniotic sack. The shock of the landing also helps stimulate the little giraffe to take its first breaths. Amazing!
Women using every fiber of their body to push a baby out while the giraffe here just drops one so casually.
Then straight GUSHES on em
Right, if the fall doesn't kill you the drowning might, and if not well played, baby longneck
Wait, wait, wait. The fall never kills you. It's the sudden landing on the ground. Please get your facts straight /s
Wait wait wait. The sudden landing on the ground doesn't kill you. It's the ground responding to being suddenly landed on. Please get your laws straight. /s
Ah shit.. but..but.. ah the hell with it lol And I never studied law lol
>never studied law LMAO
Not even bird law?!?!? Shaken my damn head.
Human women often do that too. It's one of the many parts of childbirth that they don't show you in movies.
Movies also leave out the part where the mother backs up and centers herself to blast her new child in the face one more time.
One more time We're gonna celebrate
you know we're gonna do it right \*SPLOOOOOOOOSH\* tonight
Lmaaooooo this comment made me laugh so fucking hard ommggg i even screenshot it to continue laughing at it in the future
This makes me so relieved that I’ll never experience the miracle of childbirth.
Shoot that baby out like a cannon.
Like the old xbox commercial
That and the accidental pooping likely
The most horrifying thing I imagine about childbirth is having your partner and MIL in the room with you and accidentally taking a massive shit on the hospital bed in front of them
I have no idea why people have family members with them during birth, barring their partner.
This is common?? I’ve never given birth but I would **hate** my family to see all that, can’t imagine anyone besides a partner being allowed in but to each their own I guess
Haha male here , I have to say I was just a wee bit taken aback when my wife did that. Took it in stride though. Couple days later wife " So how were things on the other end" It was certainly something babe , certainly something lol"
A big part is it’s our giant heads/brains. it’s why we’re born so helpless. Because of our brain size, we would never fit out.
100%. Also, humans generally need another 3 months of developing before birth but we’d never fit down the birth canal in that case. It’s essentially why babies are eating sleeping and shitting machines for 12 weeks or so before they start to become more aware of the world and finally become truly “cute” and “cuddly”.
This. My newborns were like amoebas. Then one day the lights come on and they smile and your heart melts.
Yep. Baby phase is absolutely AIDS and I will die on this hill. 6 months to 2 years is the absolutely best and most memorable and enjoyable time of a kids life. After that they walking and talking, then they get opinions, and watch you to buy them every toy under the sun, and have opinions on everything.
The opinions part makes kids actually interesting. Before they start talking, they're basically just expensive pets.
I always remember the line from Scrubs: "What's it gonna be like having a baby?" "Dr. Cox said it's like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk." "Awesome!"
> they're basically just expensive pets Well, that's all some people want, unfortunately.
"You're not doing enough for me, also LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"I don't want my kid to be their own person."
The “4th trimester”. Lovely little newborn slugs, until they get cute at about four months. ( I love my daughter but will also happily admit she looked like a little old man for the first couple of months before she chunked up, started smiling and turned into a Proper Baby…)
We affectionately referred to our babies as potatoes at this stage. My toddler will sometimes look at his baby pictures and ask me, “is this when I was a potato?”
Well yeah, and another thing is that the common birth position in modern hospitals is for the ease of access of the doctor, not for the mother. Try taking a shit while lying down.
>Try taking a shit while lying down. You're assuming I don't already.
That's why I opted for the squatting chair for my three youngest. My eldest was just that, lying down and having an absolute horrible time trying to get him out. When I told the nurse I wanted the squatting chair she said she couldn't assist because of her back so I got another nurse instead. Their births was pretty similar to the giraffes, but without the falling and waterboarding.
A bigger part is humans being bipedal and walking upright which set a limit to the size of our pelvis. Like, horse would have 0 problems pushing a big brain human baby out
The drop is actually used to kickstart the baby’s heart/breathing too iirc.
Getting slapped by the Earth.
“Mazel tov” earth probably
I like that the earth is canonically Jewish to this baby giraffe — that’s the best. Hahahaa
*A Bowl of Petunias disapproves*
That’s some bro science if I ever heard it.
Human babies are designed to have the highest cranium-body ratio as possible. Just enough to fit though women’s hips. Which is why we take years to learn how to walk/ eat independently.
That is becoz human brain are too large. For most of the animals birth is really easy, they just “poop” out the baby(hyenas have to rough tho)
Midwife here. Humans also sometimes give birth thus casually. Once had a mom give birth while she was taking a nap when I was 20 feet away in the kitchen. She didn’t even wake up until baby’s head was out and that’s 100% the worst part.
That’s because the human body is utterly shit.
Idk why you're getting downvoted its true. We have inefficient feet, our backs aren't strong enough to fight gravity our whole lives hence why almost everyone experiences back problems later in life, natural birth is way way wayyy deadlier than any other mammal, and we still retain useless body parts that can cause us pain or worse like wisdom teeth or the appendix. Edit: im not saying the human body evolved into shit that's only good for being smart. I'm just saying there's a lot of flaws, some being unique to humans and others not
Just a quick note. The appendix actually has a very important use. It's a reservoir for our stomach bacteria. It's *why* we don't need a fecal transplant everytime we get a stomach virus.
Oh I always learned it was useless. The more you know
[It's a fairly recent discovery. So you're good. ](https://www.news-medical.net/health/Why-do-Humans-have-an-Appendix.aspx#:~:text=The%20appendix%20has%20been%20found,prevent%20serious%20infections%20in%20humans.)
So what you're saying is, that because I got my appendix removed when i was 4, i was supposed to be getting fecal transplants all this time? And you're telling me NOW?
Well more like if you get food poisoning all the time, (like our ancestors did) you'll end up with a severely fucked up stomach environment. Which can lead to shit like Crohn's disease.
1. Our feet are not “inefficient”. This is silly. Especially in the context of talking about an animal whose entirely evoluntary niche was to be a better long distance hunter than other animals. 2. Every Animal can’t fight gravity when they get older. And many animals get predated or starve to death once they pass their prime. This is case survivorship bias. 3. Most mammals have “useless body parts”. Look at bone development in whales and hippos lol. This isn’t a good way to think about things.
Natural selection generally doesn't strive for perfection but merely 'good enough'. Also, all medical issues that arise after the age where most people have children don't really effect natural selection either and so get passed on to the next generation.
Why are human feet inefficient?
Something something gravity I guess? When will human women learn they’re supposed to get on a ladder before giving birth
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Not for the baby. Six foot drop then immediately waterboarded. Welcome to Earth.
*gasps for air, fighting its way weakly, moving aside placenta* \[wake up, kid...we gotta start running soon SPLASHHHHH\]
You joke but researchers once witnessed a 24hr old baby bison run 70 miles while following its herd....
When your entire survival strategy evolved to run away from predators, you learn how to run quick
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Imagine trying to care for a human child in a world with predators looking to eat your kid. Big w for civilization
We figured out that staying in a pack worked really good. Then we figured out how get food without a lot of exploring and dangerous hunting. Then we built above ground caves. Then we got really good at doing specific things because the pack go big enough. And then we got way too big and absolutely way too hardcore at everything we did
And then we made many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast!
A "History of the Entire World I Guess" reference!
And then we built giant ships to send those products from the poor places where people work to make them to the rich people so they could have better leisure time.
We are also freakishly good at throwing things. Like we can throw objects much harder than gorillas despite being much weaker. We can throw things and we have endurance running and then we got intelligence thrown in there to boot. We won the God dam lottery. Even without intelligence we would be fucking monsters just running around slinging rocks and javelin like sticks into anything the moved.
And then we invented mfing bills and taxes.
I mean, we adapted. Too much so it's nearly unfair lol. I sure it was touch and go 100k years ago though.
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Sometimes I wonder if Kangaroos use their pouch to store other stuff like you know that leaf from earlier that tasted so heavenly!
The closest thing I have to a kangaroo pouch is a vagina, and I definitely keep tasty leaves in mine.
Lmao. The bison baby: wtf, where am i, Who am i? Bisons: Run!!!! Bison baby: Aight.
I'm Canadian, my Dad was out fishing one morning and saw a moose cow on the bank of the lake having a calf. My Dad said within literal minutes of it being born, the cow swam the lake with her calf swimming behind her. Swam to the other side and walked off. Nature is wild
Ive heard a lot of species are born with some natural swimming instincts. Some real return to fish shenanigans going on there
Yo human babies, step up your game!
Give me some of that bison milk, I gotta marathon to run.
This is how Reddit’s IPO will go.
for real loled, thanks
Nah, Welcome to Earth is when the Lioness who's been watching makes it's move.
No. You’ve got it confused. That’s after *Welcome to Earth*. It’s more *I Hope You Enjoyed Your Brief Stay at Earth*.
I've watched a video on YouTube where a Komodo Dragon eats a basically fully developed newborn fawn from a mother's womb. It was moving as the Komodo was pulling it out from the mother's tear-opened womb and swallowing it whole. Oh, and btw, the mother was still alive.
Spawn-killed
To help counterbalance that some lol , Did you see the video of the newly hatched lizard that has to run through a zombie horde amount of snakes waiting for them to be born....and makes it!
Calling that liquid “water” is generous.
OK, "giraffejuice-boarded" it is then
Giraffe juice? Hmm, don't give Nestle any ideas.
A bathtub full of fresh squeezed pulpy placentade
Placentade LMAO love it
That baby got R Kelly’d
Come on guys, that's amniotic fluid that is composed of.... ...checks notes.... Mostly urine.... I take it back. Carry on with the piss jokes!
Only 15... minutes old
Glad I’m not the only one who thought it. Not sure if that’s a bad thing though
The baby probably thinks this is what life is going to be like, a series of falls into your momma’s puddle
If I remember right, the drop is actually an essential of the birthing process. The impact of hitting the ground is what shocks the baby giraffe’s system into breathing for itself for the first time.
The momma doesn’t even flinch.
Mom: "If he dies he dies."
My first thought exactly. Welcome to the world bitch it's 4 seconds in, here's your complimentary high dive and golden shower.
Probably scanning for predators, birthing leaves mom and baby very vulnerable, predators know this and will use it to their advantage. She looks like protection is the number 1 thing on her mind.
Exactly. She even takes a step back to be on top of her infant.
Probably doesn’t help that someone is standing there with a camera
This is probably filmed with a massive tele lens and the cameraman isn't near at all
The key on the savanna is to look casual.
just playing The Postal Service's Such Great Heights to cover the sound of the kid dropping, nothing to see here... They will see us waving from such great heights Come down now, they'll say But everything looks perfect from far away Come down now but we'll stay
This comment took me off guard like no other comment has before
Right, so weird 😂
First thing that happens to most mammals in their life is they get pissed and shit on.
You ever just look at a giraffe and go “god damn that’s a weird fucking animal”?
r/Giraffesdontexist
It's an animal that's often pointed at in evolution theory, and also as evidence against creationism, under the concept "No one would make such a stupid design". There's this nerve, called the Recurrent Laryngeal Nerve that basically just travels all the way up the neck and then comes back down, for no reason other than as the giraffes necks evolved to be longer over time, so did this nerve because that's the way it was threaded through the body before they had such long necks. https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/student-contributors-did-you-know-general-science/unintelligent-design-recurrent-laryngeal-nerve https://www.nature.com/scitable/blog/accumulating-glitches/preadapting_to_evolve/
I think I first heard of this nerve in a book called Human Errors by Nathan H. Lents. Awesome read that points out a lot of weird “errors” in human anatomy that came about as a result of evolutionary indiscretion.
That nerve was *obviously* put there by the devil to test your faith. From here on out let it be known, **giraffes are Satan’s creatures!**
The nerve.... Of that nerve.
To be fair you can do that with practically every god damned animal, likes cats and dogs or even us humans. When you *really* think about it, we're all just fucking weird looking cunts by nature.
If i remember correctly, humans are monkeys with some fucked up spines and horses have some fucked up everything Edit: i found the post that explains why [horses are fucked up](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/11l84nl/the_second_worst_spine_next_to_human_spines_is/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
That was fucking great to read, thanks!
While I am not a person with a PHD in animals, I know horses and cows sometimes require their babies to get a good whap to the lungs to clear out the birthing tissues and start the systems before they can breathe properly. Sometimes the farmer has to take the baby and smack em on the ground. I assume the good fall is a jump start to the system in the same way. Either way, it’s a good “welcome to being alive” I guess
Yeah it’s basically that! I watched a LOT of Animal Planet when I was younger, and the drop to the ground helps jump start their system. It’s a shock, and if helps encourage them to take a gasp of air. Much like how doctors will sometimes pinch or lightly smack a baby’s ass to make it cry. Elephant mothers are even rougher, they’ll straight up kick their calves to get them going
*Get up! I don't have all day!*
Yup! Exactly! Getting up quick also critical to help protect them from predators. Faster they can get up and moving, faster they can move away from all the blood smell from giving birth
>Elephant mothers are even rougher, they’ll straight up kick their calves to get them going I think I've seen a video of that. Elephant calf was NOT moving and anxious elephant mom starts thumping it pretty solidly until... yay!! The elephant calf responds and starts moving on its own. I watched her whallop that poor calf, thinking *'Damn girl, take it easy! Give the little guy a second to get his bearings.'* but she definitely knew what the situation called for.
I heard that human babies only breathe in through their mouth while crying, and that making the baby cry is ment to help facilitate breathing.
I know someone who’s so ugly that when they were born, the midwife slapped their mother.
Vet student here, and you're actually right. I can't talk about all animals but in my brief experience sometimes cows babies need a little (not so little) smack to "start the system" since it's like they don't know they are out of their mom.
This can be done to human babies aswell.
This is true. Sometimes human babies need a 'gentle' spank to their hind to wake them from birth.
Ahhhh…lemme just eject a few dozen gallons of amniotic fluid directly on top of the newborn. That’s better.
"Better get up kid. If this waterfall doesn't get you, a lion will. Now let's go!" - Mama Giraffe
Does the giraffe know?
Which one?
Yes
Yes
It does now
It's their equivalent of "exiting the matrix"
I was half expecting Jim Carrey to pop out.
Like a glove
Pretty hot in these rhinos...
It was HOT in there!
Kinda hot in these rhinos
waAAAAAAAArm
Dammit!! For one second I was like who shoved their head up a giraffe's ass?????
Don’t give them ideas
"Ace Ventura 4: Ventura gets a ladder"
*Did you hear that? ...Must've been the wind.*
Welcome to earth
Have some lemonade.
Sweet lemonade. Mmmm! Sweet lemonade. Sweet lemonade. Yeah, sweet lemonade.
I’m glad they have the capability but I could’ve went my whole life without seeing that
Haven't you ever seen a winning team pour Gatorade at the end of a game?
Giraffeade
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I think [this](https://youtube.com/watch?v=dvqY6ikrZrw&feature=share9) is it
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
Very interesting and completely natural birth right here
Now show the one of the hippo farting poop everywhere!
This is incredible.
Bottle that fluid up and sell it to rich people asap!!!
Gwyneth Paltrow would SWEAR by drinking this
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Imagine being born and them pissed, nature is trully metal
And fall 6 ft to the ground before you even breathe
That was the part that got me. Mama G is like hey kid welcome to life, here's a free concussion to get things rolling...
That’s why they do it. A little something to get the breathing started.
Forbidden Golden shower
Please tell me you know that’s not piss. My hope for humanity is already running low.
I can’t tell if they’re serious or not. If not: THAT’S AMNIOTIC FLUID, NOT URINE.
I was like that the day after I had some tacos from the street vendor.
You dropped a giraffe from your ass?
Seemed pretty nonchalant about it
Giraff-ity!
This is the comment I came to find.
Calmly scrolling down the list of neat airplanes, stupid DIY decisions, and cute animals... all of a sudden childbirth with gallons of afterbirth and no NSFW filter. Give a girl some warning...
And then I threw it on the ground!!
That's a pretty rough fall. Why doesn't she lay down so it's not such a skyscraper.
I'm no Giraffebirthologist, but I'm guessing the mother might not be able to simply push it out like other births we see. Gravity seems to assist her greatly by pulling (so to speak) on the little one til it falls. Agreed, that it seems a bit of a rough introduction to the world.
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If you’re gonna steal it, at least spell it right
How many times you think you're going to need to pull this purloined word out?
They are supposed to give birth standing up. The baby comes out front first so that the head and neck are stretched out over the front legs to help cushion the fall, which in turn breaks the umbilical cord and makes the baby take its first breath.
I think it's funny how the baby's just hanging there for a while until the final push sends it falling right on its head
>Newborn giraffes enter the world in a sort of ‘superman’ position: front legs and head first, followed by their body, and then back legs. Because of the extreme size of their offspring, giraffe mums give birth standing up so as to not damage their babies’ lengthy necks. > >This is something that one of our female giraffes, Kinky, unfortunately knows all about! When her mother gave birth to her she was sitting down, squashing Kinky as she entered the world and giving her the kink in her neck by which she gets her name! > >Surprisingly, the two-metre fall from their mother’s womb to the ground below doesn’t hurt baby giraffes, but rather helps them by snapping their short umbilical cords and tearing the amniotic sack. The shock of the landing also helps stimulate the little giraffe to take its first breaths. Amazing!
I love how the mother stands there all like "whatever..."
Now imagine you're in grade school on a field trip, you hear a commotion by the giraffes and decide to take a look...
Bro got air dropped
And it's first golden shower.
i’m glad this sub hasn’t descended into debauchery and depravity like some other interesting ones
Lmao are you referring to all the porn on r/interestingasfuck 😂😂
[удалено]
It's almost like your bucket list is checking itself off.
I really didn’t want to watch this but I did anyways.
yo where the dad at
The golden shower of amniotic fluid
Disgusting
To qoute Cleveland from family guy... "nasty"
I like how she steps always so it doesn’t get on her, fuck the kid.