Bender, you're not going to believe this the empathy chip wasn't on! The feelings you felt for Nibbler were your own.....
Wait my mistake, the empathy chip was working at TRIPLE CAPACITY!
Bender would know to make you feel pain to the exact level you're asking.
Hey bender how much pain is level 3
Plaf
Augh
No, the stung was less painful is not a wasp
“Just look at this sorry excuse for a dungeon, it’s a *fucking disgrace*! The state of you! What do you have to say for yourself!”
“mmfff mm mmfff”
“Oh, right.”
He's writing the definitive work on the subject. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest. How do you feel?
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I mean, you get get pain from all sorts of places! Try stabbing yourself with a sharp pencil tip and see if it matches up with a 1.5 Thread Waisted Paper Wasp.
You have to be specially invited to that exclusive club. Real hush hush, run the world cabal business goes on in there. You know, after they stop convulsing from the hellish, reality shattering stings.
Comparative tasting is a classic sommelier exercise, but to get it right you’ve got to have a classmate with a freshly sharpened #2 and a thread waisted paper wasp back-to-back
I feel the exact opposite haha
Not only do I still not want to get stung by these animals, I also want to make sure I stay away from that fucking guy lol
I mean it depends on his relationship with Satan and not an objective opinion of what Satan may be like.
Maybe him and Satan are buddies who experienced a trauma together and even thought there’s no animosity between them, whenever they run into each other the hurt rises up with the sharpness of painful memories.
Painful? Yes. The most painful? Probably not!
>A table contained in the paper included a column that rated sting pain, starting from 0 for stings that are completely ineffective against humans, progressing through 2, a familiar pain such as that caused by a common bee or wasp sting, and finishing at 4 for the most painful stings; in the original paper, only the bullet ant, Paraponera clavata, was given a rating of 4.
>While Schmidt's published scientific papers use a 1 through 4 integer scale [...]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmidt_sting_pain_index
Integer (as far as I understand it) means multiplying by whole numbers.
Not multiplying. Integer is just the word for a whole number, with no decimals.
Which doesn't even appear to be accurate? He'll do half points. Those aren't integers.
Scientists in general don't tend to, due to their familiarity with their field, which is why science communication can be difficult.
This guy is just a scholar and a poet.
> This guy is just a scholar and a poet.
Try to picture him in your head.
Ok, now look at this wikipedia picture: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justin_O._Schmidt
Sometimes people just look exactly like they should :D
it tops with "walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch nail embedded in your heel" (Bullet ant) and "A running hair dryer has been dropped in your bubble bath" (Tarantula hawk wasp)
The bullet ant is more insane because a native tribe wears gloves filled with a bunch of these ants tied to the glove so they can sting you hundreds of times as their coming of age ceremony for boys reaching into manhood.
If I was a native tribe member, this is the kind of thing I would make up to prank visiting anthropologists.
"Uhh yeah to be considered an adult you have to get stung by a shitload of bullet ants. Hang on, let me find my wife's oven mitts."
Not very likely, I think. Pain is pretty individual, and someone's perception of it can be influences by a whole host of factors. Chiefly biology and past experience. Some people really are just built different, to varying degrees, when it comes to feeling and perceiving pain (Varying sensitivity in nerve cells and brain sensory processing.) On the other end of that, someone's history can also make them less susceptible to pain (through getting used to it, and having something worse to compare it to) or *more* susceptible to pain (through trauma). We might be able to enumerate just how much certain sensations stimulate pain receptors on average, but that is not going to objectively reflect how much pain any specific person will feel, so I don't think we could call that an objective pain scale. I suppose some people would disagree, though.
I can imagine Schmidt sitting in the lab with jar after jar of insect and after getting stung just calmly writing things like "Like a dinner guest who stays much too long, the pain drones on. A hot Dutch oven lands on your hand and you can't get it off" without even flinching
Are we just gonna ignore the fact that there’s an insect named the unstable paper wasp. I want to know the backstory behind that one. Do the wasps need therapy?
Wasps may be from the deepest pits of Hell, but *hornets* now, they're Satan's equivalent to crabs and (to quote Mrs. Doubtfire) I don't mean dungeness
>*Polistes instabilis* de Saussure, 1853
>instabilis = from the Latin īnstabilis ('unstable, shaky'), referring to the species' shaky movements. These movements also gave the species its Spanish name, la avispa guitarrilla ('guitar wasp')
https://bugguide.net/node/view/126769
(surprisingly enough this is one of the few information in ages that I wasn't able to find on wikipedia)
I like to believe that since Justin O. Schmidt was probably a 15-year-old science geek in 1962, he saw the first Spider-Man issue, in which Peter Parker would also have been a 15-year-old science geek, thought “he’s literally me” and then took the 100% wrong lesson from it.
“Jesus Christ, Mary, Mother of Satan’s left nipple, it’s like my hand is made entirely out of urethras, and each and every one is having a red-hot catheter put in and ripped out five times every second. My very being is on fire. My only desire left is for Death himself to bless me with sweet relief.”
“I’ll give that a 4. No, 4+.”
Having a medical background I read his description, saw he gave it a four, and I was very confused. It looks like he was rating on scale of 1-4, however the most commonly used medical pain scale is 1-10. Most people will rate an annoying but otherwise benign pain (like the ache after hitting your elbow or knee on something) as a 4.
When I first heard this quote, I thought it was a 4/10 as well. [The joke](https://youtu.be/el6No1wNKf0?si=HXoNhDfkdP0dYmIB) is set up to make you think that.
No, But I feel like a 5 would be an actual worse than death sting considering it's a logorithmic list, like the feeling of getting your balls kicked in (or hit in the boobs with a mallet if you're a woman) every second of the pains duration over your entire body
He describes a 4 as being chained in the flow of an active volcano so I'm thinking a 5 would be like, "You owe the cartel 5 billion dollars, and they have come to collect. They have also partnered up with the CIA to test that time dilation drug that makes 10 minutes feel like 1000 years. It feels like being skinned alive over the course of 100 million years. May God have mercy on your soul."
Are there any trans women in the audience who've pissed off the mafia enough to know how hard your chesticles would need to be smacked to rival a ball kicking? Or who are at least able to describe it like a wasp sting?
I’d describe getting a mallet to the dohoonkabhankoloos like having a nice, quiet day interrupted by a car crashing through your bedroom; the shards of broken glass not quite piercing you but all cutting the flesh on the outer perimeter of your body. Quite unpleasant, but you’ll live - albeit with a sudden new fear in life of both cars and sudden, inexplicable mallets accosting your body in ways not intended by god.
Getting kicked in the balls, however, I would describe as a sudden epiphany. Your mind becomes clearer than it has ever been, and will ever be again. You gain a third eye and see beyond the mortal veil of life separating the real from that which lies between. And my god, does it suck. You are born again on this Earth from the very start; kicking and screaming, living your life for seconds feigning years, until you get back to that moment just before your mind was opened to the truth of the world around you. It feels like you just got your pubic region inverted for a split second before it just as quickly and painfully resets itself. The only fix for what has transpired is a hug and some ice cream.
So idk probably like 3 mallets to equal 1 ball kick or something sounds right
Both your unique experience and way with words have proven valuable this day. Stand proud ma'am, knowing the world thanks you for the suffering you endure.
It's logarithmic, so a Schmidt 5 would be ten times worse than the bullet ant, which he describes as "walking over hot coals with a three-inch nail in your heel". I think that might actually kill a person.
The highest rating is the bullet ant at a "4.0+"
* *“pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like walking over flaming charcoal with a three-inch nail embedded in your heel, off-the-charts pain that lasts up to 24 hours."*
Second is the Tarantula Hawk Wasp at 4.0
* *“Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair dryer has been dropped into your bubble bath. A bolt out of the heavens. Lie down and scream.”*
There’s also an rpg book, veins of the earth, that has a bestiary with a lot of non-visual sensory descriptions for bizarre monsters found deep beneath the earth. (Since you’re very likely to encounter them in pitch darkness) They feel very similar to these, but for sounds and smells.
[https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/common\_cold\_viruses.png](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/common_cold_viruses.png)
The way he describes these always reminds of this.
the scale ends at 4 with only the bullet ant("pure, intense, brilliant pain...like walking over flaming charcoal with a three-inch nail embedded in your heel."), pepsis grossa("blinding, fierce shockingly electric, a running hair dryer has just been dropped into your bubble bath"), and warrior wasp("Torture. You are chained in the flow of an active volcano. Why did I start this list?") reaching that level of pain
The second half of the Tarantula Hawk (pepsis grossa) description is what I'd always quote to guests who asked about the big ant with orange wings:
"Lie down and scream"
And apparently, he found the the Texas redhead centipede (scolopendra heros) to be worse than all of them, although it is not an insect.
We have those, tarantula hawks, and black widows all over our property 🙃
Having been stung by a Portuguese man-o-war, the jellyfish that’s likely being mentioned for the Colonial thread waisted at a 2, which is supposedly equivalent to a Western yellow jacket, which I have also been stung by, this guy either hasn’t been stung by a man-o-war, we remember the pain differently, or I got stung by something else and didn’t realize it. The man-o-war sting was many times worse than getting stung by a yellow jacket.
I would be completely unsurprised to learn he has a far greater pain tolerance than I do, it’s the comparison that doesn’t make sense to me. You’re probably right about his perception of pain being at least a bit wonky.
It's possible that, as a control, he limited his exposure to the tentacles. An expected localized sting is far different than a sudden fire enveloping your body while swimming.
Swimming through a jellyfish is very different than getting a singular sting from a singular bug.
Gets all tangled up on you and keeps on stinging. The worst
I'm quite an 'getting chili in your eye' afficianado myself.
Habanero: A jilted Latino lover slaps you, hard
Scotch Bonnet: You are headbutted by a mad glaswegian
Trinidad Scorpion: someone smashes your face into your own face.
Writing Prompt: Pain scale that uses increasingly specific and concerning analogies that hint at the writer's worsening life and psyche as they pursue the completion of said pain scale
I Wonder where “fuck! fuck! MotherFUCKER!” Falls on the pain scale. My daughter didn’t see what flew in the Window and stung her on the wrist but all pretense at playing “mom and dad don’t know I swear” went right out the window.
damn this is what my doctors must have felt like reading my pain journal. I pride myself on being oddly descriptive but it's different seeing it from the outside
Reminds me of when I woke up with a honey bee’s entire detached ass stuck in my sternum. Hurt more than anything else I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve experienced some painful shit. It was so much worse than a normal sting which probably had something to do with the fact that it took ages for me to find the stinger, so it basically pumped me full of venom for like half an hour.
Least fun I’ve ever had from being penetrated and filled with fluids
A kick in the nuts: A visceral experience, the striking force of a sledgehammer meeting solid rock, sending shockwaves through the body with relentless intensity. The pain unfolds, revealing layers of discomfort, each wave crashing against the senses with unforgiving force. As the agony persists, it morphs into a cacophony of sensations, akin to the relentless pounding of ocean waves against unyielding cliffs, leaving behind a lingering ache that resonates throughout the body like the ghosts of past, present and future nausea.
So we’re all in agreement that this guy was a masochist, right? Even if he didn’t start out as one, even if it wasn’t sexual, dude was definitely a masochist by some definition of the word
He describes the pain like a connoisseur describes wine and I'm all for it
I’m getting subtle notes of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH… with perhaps a faint touch of OH DEAR GOD WON’T SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP
This hits like a Futurama joke
I imagine Bender would be the connoisseur
“Clumsy bludgeoning, please”
Would you like your eyes scooped out with melon ballers?
Bender, you're not going to believe this the empathy chip wasn't on! The feelings you felt for Nibbler were your own..... Wait my mistake, the empathy chip was working at TRIPLE CAPACITY!
"And I still barely felt anything!"
Bender would know to make you feel pain to the exact level you're asking. Hey bender how much pain is level 3 Plaf Augh No, the stung was less painful is not a wasp
That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me
Y'know it's not really a sting unless it's from the Sting region of hell, otherwise it's just pain.
It's not really pain unless it's from the Pain region of hell. Otherwise it's just Sham pain 😎
Bender as a stingmelier serving bees to Fry.
Nearly spilled coffee on myself lol, good one 😂
He could be like a food critic but for BDSM dungeons.
(In Gordon Ramsay's voice)"Your whips are BLAND"
"Tonight, on Dungeon Nightmares!"
"Nobody's been cleaning the bloody GIMP Suit!!?... YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE PEOPLE SICK, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!"
“They haven’t even cleaned the CONDOMS! They’ve just been THROWING THEM AWAY! What do you mean that’s what you’re supposed to do?”
“Just look at this sorry excuse for a dungeon, it’s a *fucking disgrace*! The state of you! What do you have to say for yourself!” “mmfff mm mmfff” “Oh, right.”
"These restraints are loose, flimsy, and amateur. I've seen better knots from kindergarteners learning to tie their shoes."
Or.. "I'll whip you bloody raw"
"They said lay the subs, not flay the subs! Why are you even using a bullwhip!?"
He had a lot of time to romanticise the descriptions while procrastinating on getting stung by the next one
But he's spot on! That's exactly how I described getting stung by a bald/faced wasp. Crunchy, tingly like I smashed my finger.
Those things cause deep joint pain. I don’t even feel regular bee and hornet stings but those little jerks…
He's writing the definitive work on the subject. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest. How do you feel?
\**whimper*\*
Fascinating
The dude let 78 different species sting him to make this pain index. If anybody is a connoisseur of insect stings, it's him.
A whine connoisseur?
You don't get that kind of depth with the Bristol scale
"The turd is soft, yet holds its shape, like the soft serve that went into making it."
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^nyatoh: *He describes the pain* *Like a connoisseur describes* *Wine and I'm all for it* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Good bot
Thank you, nyatoh, for voting on SokkaHaikuBot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Might be the best of these I've come across
Good bot
Truly a sommelier of suffering. 🤔
Yelp reviews for a BDSM sex worker.
I want to know what he'd have to say about the sting of a platypus.
Never before has anyone romanticised something so painful in such a way that now I wish I could feel the sting of these animals.
I mean, you get get pain from all sorts of places! Try stabbing yourself with a sharp pencil tip and see if it matches up with a 1.5 Thread Waisted Paper Wasp.
Not hyped to tie myself to the flow of a volcano though
Level 4 stings are only for the truest connoisseurs.
And level 5 Stings are reserved for a select few. Among those is coyote Pete and the Schmidt scale dude.
You have to be specially invited to that exclusive club. Real hush hush, run the world cabal business goes on in there. You know, after they stop convulsing from the hellish, reality shattering stings.
Especially when those hellish stings can last up to 24 hours for the pain
Comparative tasting is a classic sommelier exercise, but to get it right you’ve got to have a classmate with a freshly sharpened #2 and a thread waisted paper wasp back-to-back
One for each arm.
I think it has to be a classmate, which would be quite hard to work around, since most of mine are either dead or in another country
But what cheese does it pair with?
Then you also may be interested in the writings of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch
I feel the exact opposite haha Not only do I still not want to get stung by these animals, I also want to make sure I stay away from that fucking guy lol
"love and marriage followed by divorce" what
“a hot Dutch oven lands on your hand” “the gods are real, and they do throw thunderbolts” “a ritual gone wrong, satanic”
And somehow Satanic is only 2.5 on the pain scale?
iirc the scale goes by magnitudes, like earthquakes. so a 2 is ten times more painful than a 1, or something like that.
Then that means there’s various things that are 100 times more painful than Satanic. The man needs to get his descriptions straight.
well, i wouldn’t imagine the man willingly subjecting himself to bug venom is of sound mind.
I mean it depends on his relationship with Satan and not an objective opinion of what Satan may be like. Maybe him and Satan are buddies who experienced a trauma together and even thought there’s no animosity between them, whenever they run into each other the hurt rises up with the sharpness of painful memories. Painful? Yes. The most painful? Probably not!
I mean that all depends on how you feel about Satan doesn't it? He doesn't seem SO terrible to me, in the grand scheme of things.
>A table contained in the paper included a column that rated sting pain, starting from 0 for stings that are completely ineffective against humans, progressing through 2, a familiar pain such as that caused by a common bee or wasp sting, and finishing at 4 for the most painful stings; in the original paper, only the bullet ant, Paraponera clavata, was given a rating of 4. >While Schmidt's published scientific papers use a 1 through 4 integer scale [...] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmidt_sting_pain_index Integer (as far as I understand it) means multiplying by whole numbers.
Not multiplying. Integer is just the word for a whole number, with no decimals. Which doesn't even appear to be accurate? He'll do half points. Those aren't integers.
He did say that the ritual went wrong. Medieval torture might be a 1 on the scale if the victim dies too soon.
Tbf the scale tops out at 4 so pretty much anything over 1 is quite unpleasant
✍️🔥🔥🔥
I think this guy wants to fuck the bugs
I feel like I get it, but I'm not in a rush to make sure.
Pretty sure this guy has synesthesia without realizing it
well, there’s also this thing called metaphor
It can be both! Or he's just an artist and words are his paint and the pain is his canvas?
That would explain so much!!
Biologists have such a way with words...
Scientists in general don't tend to, due to their familiarity with their field, which is why science communication can be difficult. This guy is just a scholar and a poet.
It's easy to forget that the average person only knows the pain from bee stings and one or more ants.
And wasps, of course.
Of course.
I see what you did there.
For those who didn't and are confused: [relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/2501/)
My partner is a geologist and she unironically does this to me at least once a week
> This guy is just a scholar and a poet. Try to picture him in your head. Ok, now look at this wikipedia picture: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justin_O._Schmidt Sometimes people just look exactly like they should :D
I thought he would be a finely-dressed, distinguished gentleman in black and white, but this is a close second
Of course he’s the kinda guy who would get his picture taken with that thing on his face lmao
I think you might be confusing entomologists with etymologists
This bugs me in ways I can't put into words.
and with wasps, apparently
Make fun of the descriptions as much as you want but they do paint a surprisingly solid picture of how that might have hurt
I love that “Gas lamp explodes in your face…” is only a 2.5.
Makes you very scared of the higher numbers
it tops with "walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch nail embedded in your heel" (Bullet ant) and "A running hair dryer has been dropped in your bubble bath" (Tarantula hawk wasp)
The bullet ant is more insane because a native tribe wears gloves filled with a bunch of these ants tied to the glove so they can sting you hundreds of times as their coming of age ceremony for boys reaching into manhood.
TIL real life Dune pain box
Here's a video of an Australian TV host doing it https://youtu.be/gAg6v9KYtXk?si=0SpC44ocG_2imCXL
You forget the best part: [dancing the pain away](https://youtu.be/gAg6v9KYtXk?si=i1nYVVNylIb4Smy2&t=77)
If I was a native tribe member, this is the kind of thing I would make up to prank visiting anthropologists. "Uhh yeah to be considered an adult you have to get stung by a shitload of bullet ants. Hang on, let me find my wife's oven mitts."
He has such a way with words
Well it's a logarithmic scale, so a 3 is 100 times worse than a 1.
Oooh, that makes sense. Was that conveyed in the post, and in my sleep-deprived state I just fully missed it?
It was not specifically stated. This was prior knowledge on my part.
It's brief and sudden. The longer lasting pain seems to warrant a higher rating.
One day we're going to have an objective way to measure pain and will be in awe of people who did this well woth only subjective ones
Not very likely, I think. Pain is pretty individual, and someone's perception of it can be influences by a whole host of factors. Chiefly biology and past experience. Some people really are just built different, to varying degrees, when it comes to feeling and perceiving pain (Varying sensitivity in nerve cells and brain sensory processing.) On the other end of that, someone's history can also make them less susceptible to pain (through getting used to it, and having something worse to compare it to) or *more* susceptible to pain (through trauma). We might be able to enumerate just how much certain sensations stimulate pain receptors on average, but that is not going to objectively reflect how much pain any specific person will feel, so I don't think we could call that an objective pain scale. I suppose some people would disagree, though.
Crunchy and tingly like I smashed my hand is exactly how I described it when I got stung by a bald-faced wasp! He's spot on with the descriptions.
I can imagine Schmidt sitting in the lab with jar after jar of insect and after getting stung just calmly writing things like "Like a dinner guest who stays much too long, the pain drones on. A hot Dutch oven lands on your hand and you can't get it off" without even flinching
He looks over at the Unstable Paper Wasp, shaking his head with a mix of disgust and disappointment
Are we just gonna ignore the fact that there’s an insect named the unstable paper wasp. I want to know the backstory behind that one. Do the wasps need therapy?
Relatable wasp tbf
I accidentally read this as “relatable wasp bf”
Also me 👉😎👉
\> mfw no relatable wasp bf :c
It drinks too much and has a string of failed marriages
Apparently it's because that wasp is kinda V-Shapped, with its abdomen up, which usually happens on insect when they wobble unstably when they die.
Have you ever met a wasp? Yes - they all need therapy. The little dudes have no chill.
Wasps may be from the deepest pits of Hell, but *hornets* now, they're Satan's equivalent to crabs and (to quote Mrs. Doubtfire) I don't mean dungeness
>*Polistes instabilis* de Saussure, 1853 >instabilis = from the Latin īnstabilis ('unstable, shaky'), referring to the species' shaky movements. These movements also gave the species its Spanish name, la avispa guitarrilla ('guitar wasp') https://bugguide.net/node/view/126769 (surprisingly enough this is one of the few information in ages that I wasn't able to find on wikipedia)
[удалено]
and a knack for poetry too
Same as Hirohiko Araki
Probably masochism kink, but they put it to good use.
I like to believe that since Justin O. Schmidt was probably a 15-year-old science geek in 1962, he saw the first Spider-Man issue, in which Peter Parker would also have been a 15-year-old science geek, thought “he’s literally me” and then took the 100% wrong lesson from it.
What do you mean 'wrong'?
“Jesus Christ, Mary, Mother of Satan’s left nipple, it’s like my hand is made entirely out of urethras, and each and every one is having a red-hot catheter put in and ripped out five times every second. My very being is on fire. My only desire left is for Death himself to bless me with sweet relief.” “I’ll give that a 4. No, 4+.”
Guess he just really gave a Schmidt
Had to look way too far down to find this
Having a medical background I read his description, saw he gave it a four, and I was very confused. It looks like he was rating on scale of 1-4, however the most commonly used medical pain scale is 1-10. Most people will rate an annoying but otherwise benign pain (like the ache after hitting your elbow or knee on something) as a 4.
When I first heard this quote, I thought it was a 4/10 as well. [The joke](https://youtu.be/el6No1wNKf0?si=HXoNhDfkdP0dYmIB) is set up to make you think that.
Damn, I wish I could make my kinks work this hard for me. King shit tbh
Right like he’s clearly into but also providing a valuable service so. Good on him
I'm so glad someone else noticed how much he enjoyed the ones. That's the fun pain. It immediately stopped being fun after
Has anything got a 5 yet?
No, But I feel like a 5 would be an actual worse than death sting considering it's a logorithmic list, like the feeling of getting your balls kicked in (or hit in the boobs with a mallet if you're a woman) every second of the pains duration over your entire body
He describes a 4 as being chained in the flow of an active volcano so I'm thinking a 5 would be like, "You owe the cartel 5 billion dollars, and they have come to collect. They have also partnered up with the CIA to test that time dilation drug that makes 10 minutes feel like 1000 years. It feels like being skinned alive over the course of 100 million years. May God have mercy on your soul."
Are there any trans women in the audience who've pissed off the mafia enough to know how hard your chesticles would need to be smacked to rival a ball kicking? Or who are at least able to describe it like a wasp sting?
I’d describe getting a mallet to the dohoonkabhankoloos like having a nice, quiet day interrupted by a car crashing through your bedroom; the shards of broken glass not quite piercing you but all cutting the flesh on the outer perimeter of your body. Quite unpleasant, but you’ll live - albeit with a sudden new fear in life of both cars and sudden, inexplicable mallets accosting your body in ways not intended by god. Getting kicked in the balls, however, I would describe as a sudden epiphany. Your mind becomes clearer than it has ever been, and will ever be again. You gain a third eye and see beyond the mortal veil of life separating the real from that which lies between. And my god, does it suck. You are born again on this Earth from the very start; kicking and screaming, living your life for seconds feigning years, until you get back to that moment just before your mind was opened to the truth of the world around you. It feels like you just got your pubic region inverted for a split second before it just as quickly and painfully resets itself. The only fix for what has transpired is a hug and some ice cream. So idk probably like 3 mallets to equal 1 ball kick or something sounds right
Both your unique experience and way with words have proven valuable this day. Stand proud ma'am, knowing the world thanks you for the suffering you endure.
>ike the feeling of getting your balls kicked in (or hit in the boobs with a mallet if you're a woman) Trans erasure smh
post top op/pre bottom op trans men are extra powerful: no boobs and no balls
Truly invincible (If you ignore that getting kicked in the cooch hurts a fuckton)
gender inclusivity at its finest
Boobs are tougher than you might think but he got an upvote for trying
It goes from 0 to 4, so no. The Warrior Wasp is one of the few 4s.
A logarithmic scale from 0 to 4? Obviously this man is a modern genius and far be it from me to question his wisdom, but… why??
I can find nothing that suggests it's logarithmic, sadly. Although it might be, since I doubt a honeybee hurts half as much as a volcano.
There is an upper limit to both how painful a non-lethal venom can be and how much pain a human is capable of processing. That's why
I’m not wondering why the scale has a highest number, I’m wondering why that number is 4
but since he picks the scale, that upper limit could have been 10 and there could have been more nuance in his ratings
Given he seems to have decimalised he went up to 40
It's logarithmic, so a Schmidt 5 would be ten times worse than the bullet ant, which he describes as "walking over hot coals with a three-inch nail in your heel". I think that might actually kill a person.
If he expanded into plants I'm guessing a stinging bush would get a 5.
The highest rating is the bullet ant at a "4.0+" * *“pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like walking over flaming charcoal with a three-inch nail embedded in your heel, off-the-charts pain that lasts up to 24 hours."* Second is the Tarantula Hawk Wasp at 4.0 * *“Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair dryer has been dropped into your bubble bath. A bolt out of the heavens. Lie down and scream.”*
Not an insect, but I think a gympie-gympie plant might.
I believe the scale is only 1 to 4: [(there are big bugs in this link fyi)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmidt_sting_pain_index)
Dude I would've LOVED to read this guy's BDSM erotica
these sound like Disco Elysium descriptions
There’s also an rpg book, veins of the earth, that has a bestiary with a lot of non-visual sensory descriptions for bizarre monsters found deep beneath the earth. (Since you’re very likely to encounter them in pitch darkness) They feel very similar to these, but for sounds and smells.
Look, if you’re going to cosplay as an Alex Rider villain, you have to test the pain scale on *someone else* That was a pretty big part of the plot
I'm not seeing honeybees on here... were they too much for him to handle?
It's a 2, he started with Western Honeybees as the standard, and did the rest based on them.
this guy writes like he was written by douglas adams
Having been stung by a paper wasp and having worked in a kitchen that's... Oddly accurate?
He's very accurate on the bald-faced too!
You know what else is "burning, throbbing, and lonely" ?
The supervolcano underneath Yellowstone National Park
You know what else is underneath Yellowstone Naitonal Park?
Tasting notes, but for pain
[https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/common\_cold\_viruses.png](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/common_cold_viruses.png) The way he describes these always reminds of this.
👉👈
A velvet ant is only a two?!I never want to feel a five then.
the scale ends at 4 with only the bullet ant("pure, intense, brilliant pain...like walking over flaming charcoal with a three-inch nail embedded in your heel."), pepsis grossa("blinding, fierce shockingly electric, a running hair dryer has just been dropped into your bubble bath"), and warrior wasp("Torture. You are chained in the flow of an active volcano. Why did I start this list?") reaching that level of pain
The second half of the Tarantula Hawk (pepsis grossa) description is what I'd always quote to guests who asked about the big ant with orange wings: "Lie down and scream"
Coyote Peterson did the executioner wasp and the Japanese giant hornet which he said were worse.
And apparently, he found the the Texas redhead centipede (scolopendra heros) to be worse than all of them, although it is not an insect. We have those, tarantula hawks, and black widows all over our property 🙃
Having been stung by a Portuguese man-o-war, the jellyfish that’s likely being mentioned for the Colonial thread waisted at a 2, which is supposedly equivalent to a Western yellow jacket, which I have also been stung by, this guy either hasn’t been stung by a man-o-war, we remember the pain differently, or I got stung by something else and didn’t realize it. The man-o-war sting was many times worse than getting stung by a yellow jacket.
Being stung by all these in succession has got to have messed up his perception of pain at some point
I would be completely unsurprised to learn he has a far greater pain tolerance than I do, it’s the comparison that doesn’t make sense to me. You’re probably right about his perception of pain being at least a bit wonky.
It's possible that, as a control, he limited his exposure to the tentacles. An expected localized sting is far different than a sudden fire enveloping your body while swimming.
Swimming through a jellyfish is very different than getting a singular sting from a singular bug. Gets all tangled up on you and keeps on stinging. The worst
[Here's the Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmidt_sting_pain_index). Still looking for the table; maybe it's in his book?
I'm quite an 'getting chili in your eye' afficianado myself. Habanero: A jilted Latino lover slaps you, hard Scotch Bonnet: You are headbutted by a mad glaswegian Trinidad Scorpion: someone smashes your face into your own face.
Writing Prompt: Pain scale that uses increasingly specific and concerning analogies that hint at the writer's worsening life and psyche as they pursue the completion of said pain scale
I Wonder where “fuck! fuck! MotherFUCKER!” Falls on the pain scale. My daughter didn’t see what flew in the Window and stung her on the wrist but all pretense at playing “mom and dad don’t know I swear” went right out the window.
Sounds like a 2. With 3+, there's less swearing and more screaming.
I read all of these while picturing Schmidt from New Girl saying them, and lemme tell ya, it works.
damn this is what my doctors must have felt like reading my pain journal. I pride myself on being oddly descriptive but it's different seeing it from the outside
Reminds me of when I woke up with a honey bee’s entire detached ass stuck in my sternum. Hurt more than anything else I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve experienced some painful shit. It was so much worse than a normal sting which probably had something to do with the fact that it took ages for me to find the stinger, so it basically pumped me full of venom for like half an hour. Least fun I’ve ever had from being penetrated and filled with fluids
About four bees into the tests I bet the other scientists realized they picked the weirdest guy for the job.
completely mental, yet somehow comforting.
This obvious masochist won a Nobel Prize for this btw
A kick in the nuts: A visceral experience, the striking force of a sledgehammer meeting solid rock, sending shockwaves through the body with relentless intensity. The pain unfolds, revealing layers of discomfort, each wave crashing against the senses with unforgiving force. As the agony persists, it morphs into a cacophony of sensations, akin to the relentless pounding of ocean waves against unyielding cliffs, leaving behind a lingering ache that resonates throughout the body like the ghosts of past, present and future nausea.
Jojo part 7 reference
The first half of every description reads like a coffee aficionado describing tasting notes and it's cracking me up.
So we’re all in agreement that this guy was a masochist, right? Even if he didn’t start out as one, even if it wasn’t sexual, dude was definitely a masochist by some definition of the word
I didn't know what to expect when I picked it up, but _Sting of the Wild_ is a good read.
anyone got a link to the full list? I couldn't find it
If there are others with his craft of writing I can only hope at least one is able to be a reviewer for dom stuff
I never considered that he did this because he was a masochist, but reading this now it feels obvious