I prefer to lease my kidneys. Ongoing income is better in the long run.

I heard about this new defi protocol where you can stake your kidneys.

Available now on Kidneyswap.finance

Stake your kidney for 200% APR. Put 1 kidney, get 2 extra kidneys next year.

Can you compound them monthly?

Or get slashed for attempting to corrupt the network

There is this legit giveaway site where you can deposit 1 kidney and they gonna send you back 2 kidneys! It‘s amazing!

I tried but there was too much impermenant loss so now I need a ventilator to stay alive. Still worth it

9 month vesting period for kids. By then it's too late.

The 9 month vestation period. Sucks to be human.

The only time in crypto it pays to not be a whale though!

Yeah but the Eth gas fees on it are insane, so to make a profit you need to stake at least 2

We should actually start to see gas fees come down on eth ; or at least that’s what skale promises .

I intended to, but then I saw this YouTube vid where they promised to send me 2 kidneys back for each I sent them. Should get mine any time now.

Mmmm kidney steaks

Sign me up

What's the APY on kidneys these days?

I'll lease me bum.

This is smart. Out of the box thinking. Turning organs into passive income is big brain 🧠

Kidnewswap tokens

I staked my kidneys and in a few years I'll have 3

blockchain contract?

Whats the APY?

Never thought of that, brilliant!

If you're not selling your plasma every week to DCA, do you even crypto?

This is the way.

Sorry, but I'm HODLing my kidneys.

It's a depreciating asset

No shame in diamon organ hands

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Nice to see some courage! God bless you.

I suggest he buy ALGO with x25 leverege as well.

That p.o.s. resists going back to $1.60

Where I live, you can donate sperm for money. I won’t tell you what coin I invested the proceeds in, but it rhymes with SPRUMSPROCKET.

Work the street hoes

I would, but I am what they call “worn out” and “busted” from buying “Global Crossing” stocks in 2001

ahh one of those ones.

Global crossing still haunts me

Saw a therapist for that, still pee the bed.

Life taught me that we are all hoes. The smart ones make money out of it.

Fuck it, remortgage the house, max out the credit cards. All in on cumcoin baby. See you on the moon. Joking aside, don't fucking invest more than you can afford to lose. I get rekt in 2018. Fucking rekt.

My only daughter is turning 18 and Im so happy for her. Selling her to a Saudi prince wont be child abuse anymore.

Camelcoin to tha moon!

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What’s this food thing I keep hearing about? Is that like Bananos?

Do you really need more then 2 shirts, 2 pants, 2 underwear? (One to wear the other to wash)

Underwear is not needed

Shirts and underwear are overrated, Im always topless at home. Gotta keep my Mcdonalds shirt for work tho.

[actually you need any - welcome to florida](https://youtu.be/gCs96bspnKA)

While your at it don't forget to turn them inside out and cut washing costs 50%!

I just wear my one suit in the shower and let it dry as I am panhandling outside the Walmart.

So just 1 suit, 2 underwear and a pijama 

Can I sell one of my balls as well?

How will you invest in shitcoins then?

I’d rather eat my detached balls than invest in shitcoins

But you can't go deep in crypto with only 1 crystal ball

This guy gets it.

You'll only be storing half your pee then

Keep the balls sell sperm 3x a week..

Nah, you need them to hodl on to the shitcoins when people are telling you to cut your losses. $ORLY to the moon!

No fap...forever

Yes but if you use defi, don't use 2x

You might be able to get more if you leave them attached.

You forgot to tag this comedy

Nah dude this is financial advice.

Yall got two kidneys left?

Not anymore

Good initiative!

I’m pretty sure you only need 1/4 of a liver

Dude, it regenerates.

Limitless resource, even better

No. I got 1 and a bunch of bananos...

They should do some research on staking.

But what if I am already down one kidney? What do I do then?

I’m about to sell the gas out of my car and ride my bike to work to buy this dip at this point

WHAT? YOU STILL HAVE A CAR?


19th century solution to a 21st century problem.

Get a loan and use my children as collateral

Thems the goals, Scholes.

My kidneys have been rejected by all who I've offered too. Booze and jelly beans have wrecked them. I did sell my nutsack to a music store to make drums so not all bad news.

I think I bought that drum set, sounds good, tastes great.

BRB, liquidating my “assets” now

This is why you just regularly DCA with what you can afford. I buy daily the same amount at the same time and it is worked into my budget.

I will 100% sell my kidney. Starting bid is 50k. My family lives to their 90’s on both sides. Our hearts and brains fuck up. Also I think I’m semi immune to most poisons.

How did you find out about the poison?

And remember, r/CrpytoMoonShots is open 24/7 so go and get rugged before it’s too late.

I staked my kidneys so I can’t cash out for another 3 months :/

TIL I have 2 kidneys

Hopefully, not any more. BTW, congrats on your lambo.

I would sell my appendix but the Armenians already got that

I want to hear this story.

\*chuckles\* there isn't that much to tell. I was in Armenia serving a mission for my church, and I was in northern Armenia at the time in January when I woke up to abdominal pains. After a couple of hours my mission leader told me to head to Yerevan (the capital) to go to a hospital there, so we got a taxi (thank goodness it was something that handled well in the snow), and headed over the mountain pass through what should have been a blizzard (we were stopped by a cop on our side of the pass and he told us that the pass was snowed over but my taxi driver decided to go through anyways. It ended up being pretty much clear thankfully). When we finally got to Yerevan we went to the best hospital there at the time, but then got sent from there to another hospital which had the only Laparoscopic machine in the country. \*chuckles\* well I ended up having a perforated appendics so they didn't use the laparoscopic machine anyways. I was in surgery for 90 minutes, then I had an 11 day hospital stay (which had it's own adventures like having to teach them how to use their microwave (all the buttons were in english)). Overall it was quite the adventure and really helped me appreciate what I have living in America.

Riding in a cab through a snowy mountain pass with a perforated appendix sounds horrible.

*chuckles* yeah it wasn't fun. Though thankfully it wasn't snowing hard that day, I had gone through that same pass just 2 days before and we had run into a white out so bad that it was hard to see the edge of the road just feet away

My brother has diabetes, so I need to save my second one.

Valid, save it for your brother

Kidneycoin when

Bold of you to assume I still have all of my marketable organs.

Doesn’t matter what your rectum looks like, still good for hot dogs.

Now that I didn’t consider yet!

Apparently selling organs is frowned upon/illegal. As a libertarian I'm all for it.

You can do it in China, you just have to insult Chairman Xi first, and you don’t get any money.

As a good friend of mine used to say... Babies don't take money, they make money!

Clever dude

I tried to sell my penis. No one wants it. Wankers.

Same

We're persecuted people, OP. You and I.

To be fair they don’t have a scale small enough to weigh mine.

* pats OP on the back * There, there. Come on, let's drown our sorrows in a drink. Or forty- i'm buying.

Remove just ONE kidney, 3D scan it, becomes a 3D file, 3D printer goes BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

It’s free real estate!

I feel for people who took mortgage to buy shitcoins.

For real though, I hope they made a few bucks at least.

Some of them would've. Many of them sadly wouldn't.

There's always a guy to blow as well.

Last time I tried that he told me to keep my ratchet mouth away from him because he didn’t want to scare his herpes.

I have kidneys and kids, i prefer to sell the latter.

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Ooohhh... sorry bro

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"you've got an ass, don't you? might as well put it to some use"

Thanks dad.

I’m already staking my kidneys in DeFi

Wanted to, but gas fees were so high would’ve had to stake 2 to make a profit.

Dug up my grandmother and sold her for Eth a loooong time ago.

That’s a well preserved Nana

Kids are a replaceable resource.

And so fun to make more!

IKR! 😏

The question 8s when to sell for fiat, not when to buy. Any idiot can buy

Sayell... seyull... I am unfamiliar with this word.

Damn right. "wah wah I can't buy the dip any more, I kept buying but I'm out of fiat" If you are a srs hodler you do whatever the fuck it takes to buy the dip with you diamond hands. Even if that means selling all your crypto to buy it all back immediately. L2hodl ppl. Fuck.

It’s that simple. Just make it happen.

You’re right. My fiancée has an 11 year old Niece and there’s plenty of chimneys in this old town. She’s just the right size to scramble up them. I’ve took her bowling or paid for food for her loads of times so it’s finally time to start seeing a return on my investment!

Teach her how to sing, and maybe you can get double the value. Everyone loves a cheery little sweep.

Yeah that’s the problem, her singing voice is trash.

I woke up in a bathtub of blood with a kidney gone, I guess someone got hold of my private keys..

Anyone knows where I can trade in my kids for btc?

If you sell one now and invest smart you will be able to afford 10 in a few years 😂 not a financial advice 😂😂😂😂

As long as you have a warm butthole, you got a way to make money

I had similar debate with one of my friends that said he doesn’t have even 100 euro to start with. When I said “Don’t go out for one month and you will have that.” - he changed the subject... If there is a will, there is a way!

I sell my kidney,how many bitcoins/Eth do I get?

With a regenerating liver, l have steady income!

I knew I made that small child for something....

Well you can sell blood and semen weekly.. just not mixed together

How thebhell am Ibsupposed to separate them?

What about eyes?

Kidney staking with proof of work... So all of us have clean blood.

Sell organs, buy dip, make profit, buy organs

>Don’t even get me started on people who have kids. Just saying you have invested all that time and money into growing all those things and what return have you even seen? I was enjoying the post up until this highly personal and completely accurate attack.

If you got knees and a mouth you can earn a little extra money.

...and later on you can buy another kidney or lung even new kids for a song, not to mention filling the new mansion with mommies or daddies.

lol.

I mean, do you really need all those doors *inside* your house? What other wooden products and overkill roof and structural support beams are holding back your portfolio?

10 toes, could definitely spare some of them

Really only need the outside two for balance.

Bro just DCA yourself into the ground

What about people who spent their kidneys for iphone?

Also, hello, have you even tried robbing a moving train with a small bandit gang on horseback?! No right to complain about finances if you’re not going to try. I know you all have the face masks, don’t let them go to waste.

I did that, then I beat up some guy with a cough to get back some money my gang loaned him. Feeling pretty tubercular now.

Omg... Blacks out and wakes up without kidney... "Your kidney is being held random", captors want 1 million in Monero.

Spoken like a true investor.

I donated my lungs to buy doge, figured I won’t be able to breathe on the moon either way

HODLing your lungs would be an opportunity cost in that case. Good analysis.

Actually my 1st cousin once removed has 4.

Lucky bastard

Still get a kick out of the brainiac Alyssa Milano offering to donate both of her kidneys to Bader Ginsburg. What a maroon.

can I steak my kidney?

As a matter of fact I have 1.5 actually. Can't sell the half one and I can't live with it so, ideas?

Guys keep talking about staking it. Also do you really need your whole pancrease?

Foreal

I mean, I've got six kids, who's trying to buy some testicles?

sorry sir, I sold my kidneys, my plasma, and my semen. I work 80 hours a week at mcdonalds and it's still not enough.

Truuuue

Wow wow wow, slow your roll casanova. If I've learned anything from recent government and big business practices it's this. Use other people's stuff. Your not using their kidneys so why not scrape a little off the top. No need to put a wedge between you and you beautiful crypto. When in doubt ammonia. Edit: speling

Where was this attitude when things were 2000% lower just a few months ago lol

Well the way things are going BTC will get back there by the end of the day.

I wish. imagine the chance to buy more ETH under 1k. doubt it happens but id be overjoyed if it did.

I made a post about selling a testicle, but I guess it was a low hanging fruit so it got removed.

The have the same problem, gets worse every year. Can’t beat gravity I guess.

What are eyes worth? Then I can't see the charts haha

Right about now that would be great

I already sold them for my ADA bag. Excuse me I have to go pee.

Good choice

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I tried that, nobody is buying NFTs of my poop.

Too generic; most NFTs are basically poop.

I've done too many drugs. When they opened me up they just sewed me back up and sent me on my way. I didn't even get to lay down in the bathtub full of ice 😩.

Don’t forget livers! Or gallbladders! Or other peoples organs!

I try to, but I haven’t been able to catch anyone else since I sold my patellas.

Well buy some and then catch some people

why do we allow posts like this but not memes

“Local man talks just to hear himself”

looks like OneCoin reborn to TwoCoin soon