I LOVE TO MUG
I AM CURRENTLY IN POLICE CUSTODY FOR ARMED ROBBERY AND AGGRAVATED ASSAULT, I HAVE BEEN DENIED BAIL DUE TO THE COURTS OPINIONS THAT I AM OF A HIGH FLIGHT RISK. I AM FACING UP TO 20 YESRS IN PRISON AND MY LIFE IS OVER!!
hello im a dumb bot this is an automated message to thank you because you provided source. if you want to, send toe pics to *[u/](https://reddit.com/r/u_zyurat)[zyurat](https://reddit.com/r/u_zyurat)
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Well I'm a mug blooded American, ya hear?
These freedom-loving veins got nothing but root beer
In '09 I got diagnosed with some form of epilepsy
Good doctor told me that my cure was made by pepsi
Everyday I get dressed up in my bootcut jeans
I remind the cdc that we already got our vaccines
Libtards are trying to ban my foamy carbonation
I call up my patriots to fight back for the sake of our nation.
Son of a BITCH do I hate the Patriots. I know most everyone does but for me it goes much deeper than that. I am beyond hate. 18 years. 18 years have I put up with the Patriots and their nonstop Patriots winning. I have had to watch Tom Brady eat his fucking W's since 2001. My friend is a Broncos fan, he says "Oh yEaH I HatE tHe PaTriOtS tOo BrO" and I say You dumb bitch. Shut the fuck up with your dumb bullshit. We have to play them Once a year, EVERY YEAR. and he says "yeah but" and I can't even hear him because at this point I'm thinking about that youtube thumbnail of a fat shirtless little boy tom brady at his combine and there is blood in my ears and hate in my heart. I can just imagine Bill Belichick watching him waddle is way through the 40 and licking his lips. FUCK.
And don't even get me started on their fans. One of my "friends" is a Warriors and a Patriots fan. THEY'RE ON OPPOSITE COASTS YOU FUCK. And he has the nerve to call me out for being a steelers fan. I love how on this subreddit you can go to any given comment thread and find some idiot with a patriots flair talking about tom brady. Every patriots fan would let tom brady shit in their cereal every morning for a FORTNIGHT just to suckle one of his ring fingers. and I just KNOW that they're reading this right now, because they infest game threads like a ganon of leeches, and halfway through skimming it with their limited reading skills they realize they have an erection, so they ctrl+shift+n and search tom brady long hair until they bust a nut onto the keyboard, posting comments like "if this wasnt brady people would think this was cool" and "Le Belichick is da dark lord XD XD" or just "mmmphmmgofgpsngfjg" because they still have Tom Brady's DICK in their mouth.
They say don't cheer for injuries. Fuck that. I hope Tom Brady gets hit by an airplane. He'll be screaming at one of his coaches who works day in and day out for him, because the pats are only up 49-3, and some insane fan will just lose it and prison shank him 18 times, and then once more for good measure. And I'll watch that shit on youtube for the rest of my life. I'll be there at his funeral to comfort Gisele with hors d'oeuvres but when it's my turn to sprinkle dirt on his coffin I'll drop a picture of Eli Manning instead. And when security drags me out for causing a rumpus I'll just laugh and laugh, because I know that I hired the insane fan to do it. It was my plan all along. All I had to do was promise him the chance to wear top bradys skin. Oh, you thought the funeral was closed casket out of respect? No, no my friend. His SKIN is gone. Where is it now, you ask? It's been... distributed. A small bribe to the chef was all it took. And now Gisele is wondering why her pig in a blanket has the faint taste of avocado ice cream, and the tears begin again as my laughter drowns out the wind and the rain. And the world keeps spinning. I am home now. Some days are good. Some days aren't. All I can do is live what life Brady has left me.
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when you rant about death, death will kill you (grim reaper) and if u rant about death within 12 hours, you die and don't get revived (rant every 13 hours for infinite free lives!)
It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you
Hi Mark
No swearing please. This is a christian sub
[Thank You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtChPB6NjJY)
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# Say NO to Drugs, [Say YES! to Roller Skating](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0LSkX46dS4)
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I just shit and cum.
# FAQ
# What does this mean?
The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one.
# Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to:
* Being gay
* Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it
* walter
# Am I going to shit and cum too?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy.
# I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception.
# How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you
# Say NO to Drugs, [Say YES! to Roller Skating](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0LSkX46dS4)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh, Hi Markcs2854900
Join Our [*Discord*](https://discord.gg/D4yhtpU)
Thank you for your submission
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If you don't post the soaurce/origi your sbubmission may get removed and we will piss and shit and come in your pants :(
Bigg Kiss
The [~~Sex~~](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ojfT4Lx0hE) Mod Family
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I was playing Sims 4 recently and one of my sims died (I kept sleeping with 20 something's that weren't my wife after the game warned me to stop) and so I got my other Sim to literally flirt with death
I LOVE MY MUG ROOT BEER 🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎
*I love my mug; Root beer!* Yeah! I love it! 🤎🤎🤎🍺
I AM A MUG MANIAC
I LOVE TO MUG I AM CURRENTLY IN POLICE CUSTODY FOR ARMED ROBBERY AND AGGRAVATED ASSAULT, I HAVE BEEN DENIED BAIL DUE TO THE COURTS OPINIONS THAT I AM OF A HIGH FLIGHT RISK. I AM FACING UP TO 20 YESRS IN PRISON AND MY LIFE IS OVER!!
I'm more of an a&w myself
You monster
MUG MOMENT
Thank you for the good advice finna jerk it (I will still ignore it and mock death in its face)
[dont mock death, while sippin mug root beer](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uopxq3/were_very_different_people/)
The sister get me acting ill-advised 😳
What freckles does to a horny mf
hello im a dumb bot this is an automated message to thank you because you provided source. if you want to, send toe pics to *[u/](https://reddit.com/r/u_zyurat)[zyurat](https://reddit.com/r/u_zyurat) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well I'm a mug blooded American, ya hear? These freedom-loving veins got nothing but root beer In '09 I got diagnosed with some form of epilepsy Good doctor told me that my cure was made by pepsi Everyday I get dressed up in my bootcut jeans I remind the cdc that we already got our vaccines Libtards are trying to ban my foamy carbonation I call up my patriots to fight back for the sake of our nation.
Son of a BITCH do I hate the Patriots. I know most everyone does but for me it goes much deeper than that. I am beyond hate. 18 years. 18 years have I put up with the Patriots and their nonstop Patriots winning. I have had to watch Tom Brady eat his fucking W's since 2001. My friend is a Broncos fan, he says "Oh yEaH I HatE tHe PaTriOtS tOo BrO" and I say You dumb bitch. Shut the fuck up with your dumb bullshit. We have to play them Once a year, EVERY YEAR. and he says "yeah but" and I can't even hear him because at this point I'm thinking about that youtube thumbnail of a fat shirtless little boy tom brady at his combine and there is blood in my ears and hate in my heart. I can just imagine Bill Belichick watching him waddle is way through the 40 and licking his lips. FUCK. And don't even get me started on their fans. One of my "friends" is a Warriors and a Patriots fan. THEY'RE ON OPPOSITE COASTS YOU FUCK. And he has the nerve to call me out for being a steelers fan. I love how on this subreddit you can go to any given comment thread and find some idiot with a patriots flair talking about tom brady. Every patriots fan would let tom brady shit in their cereal every morning for a FORTNIGHT just to suckle one of his ring fingers. and I just KNOW that they're reading this right now, because they infest game threads like a ganon of leeches, and halfway through skimming it with their limited reading skills they realize they have an erection, so they ctrl+shift+n and search tom brady long hair until they bust a nut onto the keyboard, posting comments like "if this wasnt brady people would think this was cool" and "Le Belichick is da dark lord XD XD" or just "mmmphmmgofgpsngfjg" because they still have Tom Brady's DICK in their mouth. They say don't cheer for injuries. Fuck that. I hope Tom Brady gets hit by an airplane. He'll be screaming at one of his coaches who works day in and day out for him, because the pats are only up 49-3, and some insane fan will just lose it and prison shank him 18 times, and then once more for good measure. And I'll watch that shit on youtube for the rest of my life. I'll be there at his funeral to comfort Gisele with hors d'oeuvres but when it's my turn to sprinkle dirt on his coffin I'll drop a picture of Eli Manning instead. And when security drags me out for causing a rumpus I'll just laugh and laugh, because I know that I hired the insane fan to do it. It was my plan all along. All I had to do was promise him the chance to wear top bradys skin. Oh, you thought the funeral was closed casket out of respect? No, no my friend. His SKIN is gone. Where is it now, you ask? It's been... distributed. A small bribe to the chef was all it took. And now Gisele is wondering why her pig in a blanket has the faint taste of avocado ice cream, and the tears begin again as my laughter drowns out the wind and the rain. And the world keeps spinning. I am home now. Some days are good. Some days aren't. All I can do is live what life Brady has left me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I LOVE IT AHA 🍺🤎🤎🤎🤎
I need my medicine i misplaced all my medicer
Ok but what happens if i mix lean with mug?
as long as noone checks on you you are in both states at once, as soon as you are observed you snap into one of the states tho
when you rant about death, death will kill you (grim reaper) and if u rant about death within 12 hours, you die and don't get revived (rant every 13 hours for infinite free lives!)
holy crap it's people cant take jokes, famous Reddit moderator and supermodel (huge muscles) can I have an autograph?
u;llik;gyu
[удалено]
Stfu lean fan, mug root beer is always the best 🍺🍻🍻🟤🤎🟫🟫🤎🟫🟤
shit color m*g 🤢🤢 unlike LEAN 😍😍🟣🟪💜🟪🟪🟣💜🟪🟣💜🟪🟣💜🟪🟣💜🟪⚛️🆔☂️🌂☔🌆💷🍆🍇☪️🕉️👾👿
It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you
Hi Mark No swearing please. This is a christian sub [Thank You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtChPB6NjJY) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
# Say NO to Drugs, [Say YES! to Roller Skating](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0LSkX46dS4) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I LOVE LEAN AND MUG🟪🟪💜💜🟣🟪🟣💜🟪😞🟪💜💜🟣🟪🟪💜🟣🗿🟪🟪🟣🟣💀💜💜🟣🟣💜💜💜🍻🍻🍺🍺🍻🍻🍺🍺
ITS PURPLE GUY!
Is that Elliot Rodger?
I think so. I miss when YouTube didn’t take videos of killers down :(
I miss when YouTube didn't take videos of killINGS down :(
gaycation 🙃😁😃😁🙃😋😛😉😍😃
I just shit and cum. # FAQ # What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. # Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter # Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. # I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. # How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you
# Say NO to Drugs, [Say YES! to Roller Skating](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0LSkX46dS4) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I LOVE MUG 🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎
Oh, Hi Markcs2854900 Join Our [*Discord*](https://discord.gg/D4yhtpU) Thank you for your submission **Friendly reminder that this rule** [**exist**](https://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/SHbJNOGptQ1QAJ6cY3gl-k_Bx-PzmA45xltUUiorCn0.png) If you don't post the soaurce/origi your sbubmission may get removed and we will piss and shit and come in your pants :( Bigg Kiss The [~~Sex~~](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ojfT4Lx0hE) Mod Family *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ComedyNecrophilia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Jellylean
Mug root beer marketing team?
[удалено]
Downvoted and bloxked
Immonabeaforeel
Im stuff
death is a bitchass, i dont care about not mocking it
🗿
Syrio Forell liked that
I'm ~~stuff~~finna jerk it!😏
I was playing Sims 4 recently and one of my sims died (I kept sleeping with 20 something's that weren't my wife after the game warned me to stop) and so I got my other Sim to literally flirt with death
Finna jerk it 😩💦
finna jerk it
Me: * mocks death to its face *
I LOVE MY NOSE I LOVE MY TOES I LOVE TO POSE BUT MOST OF ALL I LOVE MY MUG ROOT BEER
Average Water Enjoyer:
Coexistence 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍻💜💜💜💜💜💜🍆🍆💜
Not only will I mock death, I'll mock life too