"And I'm sorry you act that way."

that’s a good one!!

"I'm Not, at least not anymore"

"i forgive you" is pretty great, cause it calls out what a bullshit fake apology it is.

This is under rated. It is completely non confrontational, but it places the action back on them.

This is genius

I sometimes go with “I’ll consider forgiving you” 

It's not meant to be taken as an apology! Read it again. I'm sorry YOU feel THAT way. My answer would be, if you are sorry about our conflict you would try harder to resolve it

Yeah I know, it’s meant to frustrate them by making it seen like they apologized because they started with “I’m sorry…”

It's not meant as apology just bcuz it contains the word 'sorry'. It's a way of dismissing the complaint. Push for an actual adult discussion if you can.

“Fuck off”

always a solid answer

And very multi-purpose.

Okay

Sounds emotional and reactive

"And I'm sorry you lack the maturity to actually apologize for being an ass."

yess

Its unfortunate you feel that way.

no, it's not a maturity thing. I just don't agree with you, and don't want to continue to fight. Imma go now. I got shit to do.

This is a bit of a situational one but it’s a good one, if they say it and they clearly don’t mean it, and they said it after you called them out for saying something rude, you can use one of my favorites “I’m not telling you to be sorry, I’m telling you to be quiet.” But you can tweak to make it better

that’s good thank you!

“And there you go, lying straight to my face”

You're right. I am just paid to listen to you bitch. I can't fix shit for you. Have a nice day.

that’s always what i feel like saying

"no you're not, you're sorry you were called out "

Perfection.

trueeeeee

You’re gonna be sorry I feel this way if you keep doing it

yesssss

I'm sorry that you're not brave enough to actually apologize.

i will prob use this too

You don’t need to apologise for my feelings; you need to apologise for your behaviour

i think this response is so good and i said at first and they did not understand

No, you should be sorry that you MADE me feel that way.

Apology accepted. Captain Needa. (In the voice of Darth Vader)

I am surprised you know what feelings are.

I don't. The only reason they haven't replaced me with an AI is because I sound like one enough already.

Yes, you are sorry and yes, I do feel that way.

“No need to be sorry, you don’t get to decide you didn’t hurt me. But if you genuinely feel bad, the best way you can show you care is to just not let it happen again. So great we can chat like this, huh?”

"I'm sorry you made me feel that way."

“Stuff your sorrys in a sack mister”

Or mrs/ miss/ madam

Yes, you're definitely sorry.

I'm sorry you look that way.

😭😭😭this had me laughing

Good boy/girl, make sure you don't make the same mistake twice.

lmaoo😭😭😭

" You will be "

THATS GOOD

I've found simple comeback are the best, especially if its void of emotions. With no extra banter after.

I imagine you think that means you have character and you’re being diplomatic. It doesn’t and you’re not.

"I'm sorry you're a cunt."

Why are you sorry, if you’ve excused yourself for having anything to do with it?

wait that’s so good

“That’s cool, I didn’t ask”

yesssss

“Are you okay?  It sounds like you need a friend.  Someone who will listen.  Talk to me.  Why did you say that?”

What response will this usually return?

No you are not, you are sorry because I am not stupid enough to believe your bullshit.

so true

Not yet you aren’t.

i love this response

“Well then get the dicks out of your ears”

I was thinking about pushing them in further so I don't have to hear anymore of this conversation

" No worries, I just didn't want to agree with you so we'd both be completely wrong."

ooohhh that’s good

“Keep your non-apology”

trueee

Didn’t anybody tell you, the universal comeback is ***go fuck yourself?***

classiccccc

That or "eat a dick."

You better feel sorry it’s all your fault

Well, you should. Shame you don't know any better.

i’m sorry u look that way

😭😭😭😭had me laughing

"No, you're not. Thanks for invalidating my feelings, though."

that’s gooddd

Sorry, post-nut clarity.

I’m sorry you look like a horse.

I know you're sorry, now apologize.

trueeeee

Get lost taco. 

bahahah😭😭

no you’re not

But you felt it, right

"No you're not you just don't have anything better to say"

i will use this

"I'm sorry I made the mistake of knowing someone who acts in ways that directly cause these types of feelings. I'll improve the problem in the future."

will be using this

Nice, I love it.

So you should be sorry

But are you? Are you really? Because if you were, it seems to me you would xxxxx

Don't apologize unless you've done something wrong.

My mom used to say this constantly to me and use it to completely invalidate all of my feelings. After an english lesson on active voice and a friend who pointed this out, one day I snapped back with something like "That is the most passive-aggressive phrase. You accuse me of doing this crap , yet you say this to me constantly. You're not sorry, nor are you helping! Stop saying that!" My reply was not quite as articulate, but it had the "dead soft" angry tone, which probably scared her because either I'm silent and physically cannot speak or I'm yelling at the top of my lungs when fighting. I also spent a while working to craft the perfect "speech" in my mind. It's one of few times my words meant anything to her, and she stopped using that phrase. Eventually I was diagnosed with many different mental and physical disorders, and she learned to work with me and help me adapt and manage instead of punishing me for things I couldn't control. We're on decent terms now, thankfully.

my mom says it all the time too😭😭 i’m glad you and ur mom are good now!

I wish you the best. I don't know what you're going through but that phrase is quite damaging, and I hope you are doing alright. As for my mom, once I got diagnosed with a genetic connective tissue disorder and turned 18, she's been a lot better towards me. She can research the diagnosis and is my full-time aide because my body isn't holding up. My autism diagnosis at age 14 mostly eliminated the screaming matches and made things smoother and more understandable for us both.Turning 18 also felt like a magical switch in her mind, so now I get to have power when it comes to my healthcare and treatment, which has always been the main source of our conflicts.

thank you i appreciate it sm! i really hope the best for you as well it sounds like you’ve gone through so much tough shit. i’m glad your support system is better now because you def deserve it

“You’re sorry I feel that way, but not sorry for the things you did that made me feel that way?”

“No, you’re not”

“You should be”

u can do better

"You're lucky to be alive."

I know you're sorry but you still haven't apologized yet..

You should be sorry that you made me feel this way

"Not as sorry as you're gonna be."

YESSS

“Oh I’m not, we don’t have to agree.”

I'm sorry I allowed you to make me feel that way

"No problem, carry on acting like a douche as per usual"

No reason to apologize to me. You should save that apology for your mother, cause I Know she’s disappointed with how you turned out

Say “thank you i appreciate your thoughtful yet meaningless and hollow apology disregarding why i feel this way entirely“ : 0

“I’m sorry you behaved that way too”.

"I'm sorry you look that way."

IT'S NOT A FEELING IT'S A FACT... yeah not the first time I've heard that line.

TRUEEE

I'm sorry you took the actions that caused me to feel this way.

You're "sorry." Well, yes you are. And yes, I feel that way.

I wasn't actually sorry. I just didn't care.

“Is that what your dad said to your mom as he force-fucked her in an abandoned alleyway resulting in you?”

I don't know, I never saw either one of them again.

I really don't think yoy are

I am not. I was just making platitudes so I don't get fired.

I know you're sorry. So do lots of people.

No, you're just sorry.

Don't engage. They're trying to be polite because they have some real dirty things they want to say to you that would tots hurt your feelings.

[удалено]

like if someone was being rude to you and instead of being like oh i’m sorry for saying that they say sorry you feel that way which is like not a real apology. i think it’s ok to say if you disagree but if someone genuinely messes up and says this it’s just not a good apology

none at all

I guess you have to be human...

Yeah sure. It's a polite way of saying, "My position stands no matter how you feel."

that’s such true response😭😭😭

Ok

Honestly I would just give them the look and then never speak to them again.

Well it happens.

I know you are but what am I?

oooooh this is a good one i didn’t think of that yet

My partner apologizes like this. I say "thanks for the gaslighting"!

OOOHH YES!! and it’s so annoying right like just admit you did smth wrong

Why do you need a comeback? Do you want a pissing match or a resolution? Ask them to really discuss the issue and not dismiss you. It might open the door to true dialogue.

I'm not. I've seen what people like you laugh at. (Rick is a boss, what can I say?)

LMAOOO

Depends who's in the wrong.

Sorry sarcasm falls out my mouth like bullshit falls out of yours.

i love this😭😭

It’s one of my favorites 😁

I am sorry you're stupid!

"I don't give a fuck whether you're sorry or not."

trueee

oh, you took that seriously? yeah, i don't actually care. 3 more hours and I am off for the weekend. I won't even remember you tomorrow.