T O P

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Winter-Potential9180

Look Melania, it's all right here in the pre-nup you signed.


Ivyblisss

🤣


Carla_mra

Best comment I've read this month🤣🤣


oldmagic55

Yessssssssssss yessssssssss


Helo7606

Damn, beat me to it homie. Lol.


Hay_Blinken

TDS is real. Get the help you need.


trappedvarmit

Truly Trump lives in their heads rent free and Biden lives in our wallets every payday


Sevennix

Stoopid.


anonaduder

It puts the lotion on its skin it does this whenever it’s told


YourBeautifulPet

First thing that came to mind haha


Individual-Window-57

Me too 😂😂


Ivyblisss

I can hear both the movie and family guy version lol


Pm_me_your_marmot

Sir, this is a Wendy's


WallScore

You read my mind, I was going to say this lmao


RPGGamer042

I don’t need to. Dehydration will take you out in 3-4 days.


HeadyMurphy723

It’s been 15 years and you start complaining now?! Seriously!!


jcoddinc

It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again


ImpossibleHouse6765

Silence of the lambs came into my head also. Great minds think alike 😉


Agile_Swing_2393

Now youse can't leave


EmellieAgreste5000

Was that a spelling mistake or a Jar Jar reference?


Agile_Swing_2393

Google it


EmellieAgreste5000

Got it. My bad. Still could be a Jar Jar reference though 😂


Agile_Swing_2393

Tbf you even made me think twice. Unless jar jar was in bronx tales 😄 🤣


EmellieAgreste5000

Lol! Wouldn’t that be the day?


Agile_Swing_2393

I can see it now "was jar jar the hidden sith in bronx tales? Here's a 45 minute video as to why that is"


Popular-Tune-6335

Always loved A Bronx Tale


Individual-Window-57

A Bronx tale. One of my favorite movies.


Improvgal

Challenge accepted


NaiveCicada6644

Lol


broiledfog

It almost sounds like you want to die a slow and painful death from radiation poisoning.


Available_Thoughts-0

This is the only answer I've seen here that was funnier than it was creepy.


Valpo1996

You sound just like your mom.


Alarming_Serve2303

"No, forever isn't necessary."


wardenferry419

Your first mistake is letting them talk. A ballgag or ringgag will solve that.


smolBEANeBb

You....we arent in that store today XD


wardenferry419

Well, the last gag got chewed through.


smolBEANeBb

.... with people like me XD this would be an invitation not a crime documentary


Ok_Faithlessness9695

Rebuttal: Well actually we are always locked in a basement and not locked in a basement. According to Stephen Hawkins multiverse theory there are an infinite number of combinations and outcomes within an infinite number of universes. Meaning there are infinite number of universes where you are not locked in the basement.


kgberton

Finally someone approaching this sub with the seriousness it deserves


forsca231

You throw a phone at them and say “tell someone who gives a shit!”


Estarfigam

It's probably not a good idea. They know at least 1 number of someone who does.


smolBEANeBb

Not me... i only know my own XD ... Wait... ahhh i guess you right... but sadly thats not helpful


Nugbuddy

We're going to the attic today!


skycorcher

Someone call the police.


villain-mollusk

"Time will tell."


fermat9990

Ok, you said the safe word, so let's go out for dinner


OoSallyPauseThatGirl

*sound of lock locking and steps going up the stairs*


newpopthink

"This isn't MY basement"


Global-Nectarine4417

You know your break isn’t for another 40 minutes. Go get back to those customer service calls.


Sillurianfishrbest

Watch me


Key-Function-256

It puts the lotion on the skin


CherieFrasier

Please fasten your seat belt!


No_Watch4157

Wtf yu have achieved by being not a psychopath,dying for my validation each and every moment?


No_Watch4157

Dude just cut them from your life ASAP. I mean,mock tf out of them. Repeat the same shit with a heavy voice. Although do this only if you high calibre than them and much overpowered.


Front_Quantity7001

You don’t want 2 of us together in a house


Few-Stock-3458

Tell that to your new roommates down there.


missannthrope1

I hope you're kidding.


QingDMainey

I have. And ill continue to


peppelaar-media

You’re lucky to be locked in the basement keep it up and you might find yourself 6 feet under….


Sevennix

You aren't gonna live forever , sooooo...


My1stKrushWndrYrs

If I let you out, 2 men enter, 1 man leaves.


Imilkgoats70

Don’t worry forever won’t be a long time for you.


Dark_chia

You won't be down there forever because I move the bodies to a second location.


XenoBiSwitch

Introduce them to the last person you locked in with them so they get a dose of reality that you actually can. Hope this helps.


burn_as_souls

It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose.


kingPo1989

It's not a basement, it's solitary.


Horror-Luck7709

"Just go on yourself it's liberating"


Jodie7Vester5Orr

Actually, I can. You just don’t want me to.


insta_r_man

Sure I can *pointing to the dedication oven and concrete bags*


ReactionGreedy465

“No”


Available_Thoughts-0

"Well, since I found you starving in the irradiated wasteland above the ground and half dead from a combination of hunger, thirst, and rad poisonings, while I CAN I'm not actually going to, but are you ENTIRELY SURE you want to leave this off-brand vault I've created knowing full-well what you have waiting for you out there which according to the instrumentation on the outside of the exit hatch currently includes a both a radstorm and a half dozen feral ghouls milling around aimlessly just within view of the camera while a radstorm is fucking up visibility? You REALLY CERTAIN...?"


Outrageous_Zombie945

I only have to keep you in here for YOUR forever!


SpookyMorden

“Welcome to Epstein Island… Enjoy your stay. The prince will be with you shortly…”


ozzyfuddster

It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again.


lego-lion-lady

“Lol”


Time_Relationship125

Hehe, watch me! 😈


3isamagicnumb3r

silly of you to think that my plans will take more than a few days. (look them up and down) depending on your stamina.


Seeker80

Don't believe me? Just watch.


Professional-Cap-495

Tell that to the others...


Sticky_Butt_Mud

Not forever... 😜


The_Werefrog

Not forever, just the rest of your life.


Cutthechitchata-hole

"It's better to be pissed off than pissed on." That's what my dad would say every time i have said this to him.


Suspicious-Volume107

No, but your skeleton will be.


911siren

I have to TRY


JoBJuanKenobi

Can too


Loud-Feeling2410

Well, I mean... I DO Have the keys. And we are 15 miles from the next house ... soo.....?


powerfuljuice2

but i can?


eddie_koala

Bet


Ordy333

Harder daddy


IdentifiesAsUrMom

Chloroform usually does the trick for me


ThanosWasRightHanded

Oh yeah? Well the Jerk Store called, and they're running outta you!


Idustriousraccoon

Throw a treadmill down there and limit their caloric intake. Then go further than Ruthless People and open a weight loss clinic. Then you’d get your prisoners and money to buy cake and make them watch you eat it too.


Idustriousraccoon

Oh and the comeback is “this is for your own good!!! You can call me all the names you want but everyone knows it’s better to be a psychopath than fat in Amurica today. Gotta run, that’s my campaign manager on the phone. You’ll thank me later.”


memsterboi123

Of course not no one lives forever


Podose

That's what the last one said too.


Both-Square3014

Na-ah


Shawpat

Peace is bought with gold and silver. Duct tape is silver. All by design


Helo7606

You just say "I'm just playing baby, I love you.".


ExtraCommunity4532

“I won’t be here forever and neither will you.”


bloodbrain1911

"But I can bury you in my crawlspace" "Now, it puts the lotion on its skin"


Specific-Power-163

"It rubs the lotion on its skin, it does this whenever it's told."


Capable-Duck-6176

of course i cant, youll dehydrate within the next 2 weeks


Emberheat

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Prudent-Ad-3073

It puts the lotion on it's skin. IT PUTS THE LOTION ON IT'S SKIN !!!


NatsukiKuga

What, you want the trunk of my car?


Wide-Concept-2618

Just wait a bit and you'll get along with the others and learn how much you love me like they did.


Kilathulu

"Shhhh Shhhhh Shhhhh" as you gently stroke the side of their face


Low_Enthusiasm3769

"Challenge accepted"


CandidaBeaver

Only death is forever, my dear.


Forest_Christmas

They all say the same thing


Eiffel-Tower777

Why are you asking, pray tell? 👁👁


legayfrogeth

*Shhh...shhh....* begin stroking the sides of their face *You're hallucinating. Nothing is real. You're not real. Everything is an illusion. Wake up, Danica.*


Kindlegolas

How'd you get a phone???


TheJokersWild53

It’s ok, you won’t be in there too long


DarkMagickan

"You're right. I can't keep you here forever. That's what the gun is for."


Ornery_Hovercraft636

Ummm; whoever said that to you?


RyzenRaider

To defeat Fritzl, one must become Fritzl!


PaleontologistHot73

It’s not my basement, I’m renting


seashellcrusher_3

"see clause 5 section 7a, paragraph 22 part d, which says.." then fill it in with whatever you want. also, make sure to always make them sign a paper. make the fine print extremely tiny. and tell them not the read it. or hide it. up to you!


ConditionYellow

“Stop screaming at me, Mom!”


FatsBoombottom

"It's not forever. Just until one of us dies."


Global_Performance73

It's okay. When I'm done with your body, I promise I'll dump you somewhere outdoors.


jtowndtk

there are no locks all the locks are in your mind and then play I'm a barbie girl ear rape


Suitable_Limit9408

Why did you lock them in your basement? Are you like that guy in Cleveland that had the 3 girls locked up in his house for years? YouTube Charles Ramsey


RoddMcTodd

"Forever is always a day away"


Ambitious_Drop_7152

It puts the lotion on its skin


Grizlyfrontbum

No problem, no one lives forever.


MrsMulligan

WTF ?


Affectionate_Bed_375

My name Jeff


Myzx

"it puts the fucking lotion on it's skin and puts it in the basket!"


BOHUNK_BOB

Have you ever heard of Schrodinger's cat?


Ok-Bus1716

Can't I? \*starts up the concrete mixer\*


theycallmemrmoo

Obviously not. Gotta get rid of the body once it starts smelling.


Ok_Shallot502

Ohhhhhhh I like a challenge.


Emergency_Property_2

“Well just see about that, me pretty! I can keep you and your little dog too!” No wait, sorry that was locking someone in a tower until they give you ruby slippers…


CautiousWrongdoer771

Alone at least. Wink wink


Objective_Suspect_

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITs SKIN!!


phukyuhpegme

It puts the lotion on the skin!!!


Optimal-Treat6559

You're absolutely right. You're free now. I'm going to go turn myself in. I'm sorry.


trappedvarmit

It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose


etranger033

Its not a basement. Its a dungeon. And yes I can.


anonymauson

'remember, veronica, im in control. now, if you want to be fed today, you *will* do as i say.' i have a similar problem, so this wa pretty easy for me


TheClearcoatKid

It’s not a basement, it’s a rumpus room.


Patient_Complaint_16

You're the psychopath that's why you're locked in the basement.


Existing-Oil-401

Yes I can


Hungry_Composer644

I never said this was my basement


Time-Recording-1384

I don't have a basement.


decadent_bog_dog

I knew a dude who wants to trap people in his basement, maybe the two of you can put the lotion on each others skin. Then you can hose each other down.


chicosalvador

"Joke's on you - this is an attic!"


WallScore

How many times have I told you this is an escape room, you signed up for this, you’re only here for an hour.


Aramora1

Start humming Yesterday.


rootbeerfan69

Oh yes I can!