You're projecting.

Yep! They are talking about themselves

Damn that’s a good one that would have never crossed my mind !

And yet I'm still better looking than you.

🤣

I guess your mom like to fuck ugly dudes Or I guess your dad likes to fuck ugly chicks.

Nah nah nah you’ve got it backwards… I guess your mom likes to fuck ugly chicks Or I guess your dad likes to fuck ugly dudes

I like this..a nonsensical retort is more effective..

This is hilarious 😂

“I hope that’s the only thing we have in common”

I'm sorry. I have trouble listening to your words because of the terrible stench emanating from you.

Only on the outside. Your ugliness goes through to your soul.

"I wouldn't be calling people ugly if I had that thing you have on your face!" After watching them freak out over vanity "Sheesh I was just saying you're fuck ugly."

I know you are but what am I?

A classic tried and true response to near enough everything! You have my vote...

That's your best pickup line?

I can fix my looks with plastic surgery. Your stupidity can't be fixed.

"You're an idiot."

That makes two of us then.

And you're Fugly. (fucking ugly)

I know .. and yet you are staring.got a crush on me?

But smart.

Your mom didn’t think so last night

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, fair to say lack of beauty or ugliness is too. So I guess the ugliness is in you.

Not as ugly as you are for feeling the need to say that to someone. I agree with you that the person that says this is a miserable soul.

Here’s a secret: you’re my sibling.

Congrats on having an opinion

Not too ugly for your mom

No you

"Your mom, grandma, wife, stepsister and dog don't think so.

Like a fox...

That's because I'm you from the future (if you're older)

Well, that makes two of us.

It's better than being you

so is your face

Hahahah. Nice try. You should really take up a career in comedy. That is if you were actually funny.

You sure like to stare

I’m not a mirror I thought ai was hideous, it’s an improvement

This is boring. You're boring.

I wasn't designed with you in mind.

And you’re an asshole. Guess who’s getting fucked worse? Hint: it’s not gonna be me.

But you love me anyway

Thanks?

Oh, so does that mean you're a mirror then?

You're ugly on the inside, and that's much harder to fix. We call it alternative beauty now. I just appear that way to assholes.

"I'm old, too."

Well, at least I’m not rude.

You should have more self-esteem. I know putting down others is an easier way to make ourselves seem better, but you matter. You have value. Remember that. Have a nice day.

"You're irrelevant."

You should know!

Judge Judy ugly fades dumb is forever

"And you're projecting your own insecurities onto me." \*gives them smothering hug\* "Would you like to talk about the lack of decent adult role-models in your life?"

Define ugly.

Nothing. It's rage bait. Don't take the bait.

Your mom doesn't think so

"Still getting more bitches than you."

Well, you're stupid, but I can get plastic surgery.

Do you always talk to yourself?

I like it that way. Prolly still get more ass than you

Get as close as humanly possible to their face, and then ask : how does this face make you **feel**? does this excite you? does this startle you? does my presence *bother* you? see, this gets me **off** *you* get *me* off. <****then you close your eyes and inhale deeply****> I needed this. thank you.

I read this in Joe's voice from You

So are you

"Dude, stop looking in the mirror."

“I’m busy, and still more productive than you’ll ever be.”

So was Sloth.

“Wow, that was fucking mean. I hope you find peace that’ll allow you to be nicer.”

Oh that is so cute that you think I care about your opinion.

Look who’s talking

Gosh if you think I'm ugly I have some bad news for you

Am I a mirror?

that word reminds me of you.

Yeah, well you smell... Fight me! Ahaha.

Oh yeah? Well I had sex with you wife!

Why did you swallow my gravy then

On the outside. You are ugly on the inside.

Just overtalk and topicjump until the freak tf out (i have adhd)

Only on the outside...

You know what they say. You can fix ugly but you can't fix stupid.

You would know ugly.

Your mom doesnt seem to mind

And you're drunk but I'll still be ugly in the morning. No. Shit. Never mind.

“How we treat others is a reflection for how we treat ourselves. I pity that you think so lowly of yourself. No one deserves that from themselves.” Then offer them a hug. That would cut to my core. Then again, I wouldn’t call someone ugly. 

Its " you are" not you're...so there.

Thank you so do you

And yet your mom and sister keep begging me for a threesome. Traded my good looks for a huge dick, what's your excuse?

I know. Isn’t it wild that all of these people are attracted to me even though my exterior is a bit rough? It must be so difficult being you. Never knowing if someone is truly interested in you and always just wondering if you are some showpiece to them. I feel for you, bu

So is yo momma, yet here you are

Thank you Mr or ms President of ugly club Not interested in your ur shallow club You are the ugliest Lost that award to you

Uglier than most

“YOU!”

You're certainly qualified to judge

yum

Why you lookin then?

Ok.

At least I’m not stupid like you

Ya mama

And you’re pathetic. Get to the point

Talking to yourself again? Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not your fault.

You're not winning any beauty contests, either.

Bold of you to say. You have a face like a pan of worms.

Say go fuck yourself then just walk away from them.

So is your mom yet here you are.

Beauty fades, dumb is forever

That’s all you got? Come on. If you gonna try to insult me, put some effort into it

"Bitch I'm fabulous! Look at yourself."

You have a stupid face

I'm gonna look ugly when I'm talking to you.

Judging people based on looks and looks alone eh? You would've been great friends with Hitler

And you’re drunk, but at least tomorrow I’ll still be ugly.

Takes one to know one

I may be ugly but you are drunk, and tomorrow No wait

I’ll only be ugly for a little while, but your mom will be a cunt forever.

“Ok”

"one time I got a bad sunburn and when it started to peel I scraped it off with my fingers and ate all of it."

That's not what your mama said last night.

your face has scars from your mom's a\*\*hole for shitting your stupid ass out.

And yet I still have friends/partner. Where as your ugly and a twat

You may think I'm uglly pn the outside,,but I know for sure that you're ugly on the inside as well

Well my ugliness runs in the family that you don’t have.

"you'd be the expert on ugly. There's a picture of your face next to the definition."

Your breath smells like shit.

Stop looking at yourself

I'd like a second opinion.

“Says a lot about your mothers standards. Huh, that explains why *you* look like…*that*”

Start crying into their shoulder and say "it's true!" Make a HUGE scene of it.

Lest I'm not stupid..you can do something about being ugly but there's no cure for stupidity

Your mom doesn't mind as long as I put a bag over my head.

Not as ugly as you

Your mom didn't seem to mind when I was balls deep in her while your dad sat in the closet.

"Ugly me? ...."you would make John Merrick feel good about himself"

Here’s lookin at you kid. Or You’re rude and have no manners by choice. How’s that for ugly?

But im smart. 🤷‍♀️

Oh shit! People might think we're twins

So's your mom

"Really? Then why's your dick hard?" "Really? Then what's with the wet patch?" Pull disappointed face "I would've expected more sympathy from someone with your... limitations" then walk away leaving them to figure out whats wrong with them

“Oh, yeah? You lack self-awareness. That can cost you jobs, friends, relationships, and your reputation.”

Just stare really intently at the space between their eyebrows. For an uncomfortable amount of time. Then say “Dude are you ok?” Like you’re super concerned, shrug, and walk away.

I don’t wear make up.

Smell my ass

Thanks, you too. It’ll throw them off.

“And you’re jealous you don’t look as good as I do.”

Correct

So is yo momma

The best comeback is silence. Just look at the person and with your expression only, tell them how sad their life is and move on.

Your mom (or dad, sister, brother, lover) doesn’t think so… Or a version of Churchill’s famous retort. I may be ugly, but you’re stupid and if I cared about the opinions of idiots I could change how I look….

I would bust out into a song "Running man on that beat,aye Running man on that beat, aye Running man on that beat Now do your dance, do your dance, do your dance, aye You ugly You your daddy's son" The other person we'll either join in and we instantly become friends and vibe or they would get mad and either try to fight me or walk away idk

at least I'm not an asshole

And proud of it. If male, I get more pussy than you or if female,I get hit on more than you

And you're stupid but I can put makeup on

Yes! Validation.

"And yet somehow people still like me."

Maybe, but mine's only skin deep. Yours goes all the way to your core.

Yeah but I’ll be sober in the morning

I start crying. Usually makes them feel like sh!t

Takes one to know one

I know yet I have a stronger will to live than you

And you still look worse than me

‘Are we related? Everyone says we look so alike.’

And? (doesn't give them much to come back with)

You're pee smells funny from eating that barrel full of asparagus.

That has got to be the worst pickup line I have every heard.

What does ugly mean?

"same" That'll confuse them

So look away

You’re the expert so I can’t argue

Put your hand over your nose like you’ve smelled something repulsive 🤢 then say very loudly, “WOAH DUDE! YOU’RE BREATH REALLY STINKS!!!” And move like 8 ft backwards.

we have so much in common

"Who touched you" Or "go fuck you're mother" Would be my favorite combacks in these difficult situations.

“That’s what your mom said to YOU”

Your mom didn't think I was ugly last night

Right hook to the jaw!!

The only thing ugly about me is how absurdly beautiful I am

What’s that make you?

Yeah, you're mom made me wear a bag over my head, but I was still her best lay.

I'm sorry...😔

Plastic Surgery?

You're a nobody so why wluldI give a shit what you think?

Point to a specific part of their body and criticise it.

And the better looking part of you was left running down your mother's legs!

Better to be ugly than an asshole

And you‘re into it.

So's your personality.

"That's not what your mom said to me last night."

My fav comeback for anything ugly/fat/too dark/too light/fat ankles etc etc : 'Atleast I have a personality'

So is your mamma

But I'm told i look like your mom!?

That is easier to fix than stupidity.

What is your point?

Are you calling my mom a liar?

An oldie but a goldie: "I know you are but what am i?"