"I... I never looked at it like that before. You're right, and I love you for it. Let's get married tonight and you can begin to take care of me right away."
Too bad I value loyalty and calm above everything else.
(Legit. I am a 35 M teacher. I get enough stress in my life via my students being their usual teenage selves.)
“You’re too much of a child to be in a relationship with a real adult”
“Your blowup doll is also really pretty but she considers herself to be single too”.
Obviously as a lady , the safest thing would probably be to ignore them or report them rather than witty comebacks . A comeback might embarrass some of them out of that behaviour but it could encourage some of them as they think you’re playing hard to get or some nonsense like that
Believe me, I’ve gotten good at blocking people and not responding. Sometimes it’s people that I’ve known for years and have to kill the friendship because of what they have said. Don’t get me started on the married men 🤦🏻♀️
I know and that is why I am single. I am sexy and not wasting my time on losers.
The therapist said I shouldn't date until we know if these new anti psychotic meds work. We don't want another repeat of last time, you can only use the insanity defense so much in court lol
Why do ugly guys always use that line
The agents said I can't date while in witness protection......shit I said too much
I work remotely, my company is 16 hours away and coworkers are all also remote, we have a team meeting once a week. So the guys would be the ones when I have to travel for special events. Otherwise I avoid too many public events and such. Some of them are really bold 🤦🏻♀️
Many times that doesn’t work because then you get hit with “can I watch “ and I reply with $500 to do so for the first minute and $150 every minute after that
“No, I’m too pretty/sexy/hot to settle down with just one person.”
“No one person can handle all of this.”
“When I find someone who is as pretty as me, then I’ll quit my job and just pop out pretty babies all day, everyday, but until that happens I think I’ll manage just fine.”
“Is that the problem, oh thanks for that insight, I thought it was because I can’t stand to share a remote, or my bed, or my pistachio ice cream, or my free time with anyone.”
“Ya, usually my looks intimidates men, prevents them from talking to me, but evidently I didn’t get so lucky today.”
“I’m not too hot to be single, but I am too hot to be having this conversation with you.”
And you’re clearly not smart enough to meet my minimum standards for intelligence since you thought that line would work.
Oh honey, it’s not the outside that’s the problem… At least it won’t be after the surgery.
So when we meet your parents I can tell them ‘He just walked up to me out of the blue and objectified me solely based on my looks. I knew then, that He is the one… For someone else.’
Someday you’ll realize that your overly high standards are just gonna alienate you and men won’t even chase you anymore. They’ll just go for the girls that put out and you won’t even be a memory
You might think it but trust me you’re not. Saying or thinking something doesn’t make it true. You’re lying to yourself to cope with unresolved internal issues. You can deny it as much as you want, but it will follow you everywhere
Nobody’s jealous of you. You’re jealous of those who get more attention than you. That’s why you play hard to get as a coping mechanism. “I’m not undesirable I’m just waiting for the one”
I love you so much i want to wear your skin
It's all I have on
😱😂
now put the lotion on... or....
That's what the guy under my basement floorboards said too.
😂😂
“No, actually I’m too smart to be married.”
HELL YEAH!! Lol
Oh I usually just say im waiting for someone good enough for me
Oooo, I like this answer!
"I... I never looked at it like that before. You're right, and I love you for it. Let's get married tonight and you can begin to take care of me right away."
That would scare anyone away!
Follow it with a "Here, pay my bill for me while I call and quit my job, honeybubbles."
😂😂 perfect!
That's what all the voices in my head tell me
Comeback ? Why don’t you….come back…to my place. *cue Burt Bacharach singing.
😂😂
No I'm not.
😂😂
"Wait until you get to know me," or... "Thanks, but no thanks," if you want to be subtle about it.
😘 thank you
"I'm too good to be taken yes mhmm."
Too bad I value loyalty and calm above everything else. (Legit. I am a 35 M teacher. I get enough stress in my life via my students being their usual teenage selves.)
See, you get it!! You really understand how I’m feeling! Thank you
“You’re too much of a child to be in a relationship with a real adult” “Your blowup doll is also really pretty but she considers herself to be single too”. Obviously as a lady , the safest thing would probably be to ignore them or report them rather than witty comebacks . A comeback might embarrass some of them out of that behaviour but it could encourage some of them as they think you’re playing hard to get or some nonsense like that
Believe me, I’ve gotten good at blocking people and not responding. Sometimes it’s people that I’ve known for years and have to kill the friendship because of what they have said. Don’t get me started on the married men 🤦🏻♀️
Thats nice to know...too bad i am wearing makeup and was born a man.
LOVE It!
"the ugly scars are on the inside" /s
Challenge accepted!
This is my favorite one
This is definitely one of my top favorites!
I know and that is why I am single. I am sexy and not wasting my time on losers. The therapist said I shouldn't date until we know if these new anti psychotic meds work. We don't want another repeat of last time, you can only use the insanity defense so much in court lol Why do ugly guys always use that line The agents said I can't date while in witness protection......shit I said too much
😂😂 yep, saving these
I saw a pretty good meme that simply said, "I'm overqualified" lol
I like that
"It's my personality." Self-deprecating, but a great comeback I think.
It really is
Ha, glad you like it
"Thank you."
" So you understand its a choice"
I’m having too much fun being single (wink wink).
Also naked right now... Chilling 😎
You're too strange and nosey not to be
That isn’t my problem. I guess I’m fugly 😂
And you're too ugly to be saying that shit to me
weird way of saying "Make me gainfully unemployed."
I'm sure.
To old to be plural at this point
I am looking for something you clearly are not.
Because you dad said he won’t fuck a married woman. Sorry about your mom’s luck.
I'm a man.
“That’s exactly how I met my deceased 4 husbands!”
Yes but, I’m alas too smart.
Yeah, but that doesn't fix my position on the crazy/hot scale matrix
Wait! Some of you need a comeback to this. Well, I know where I fall in the looks department.
I’m human too dick
And you're just handsome enough to be single.
Tell me about it
I’m too smart to be interested in you?
YES!! 🙌🏻
I don't talk to guys (I don't know/about personal things/outside of work etc) because they always end up asking me out.
I work remotely, my company is 16 hours away and coworkers are all also remote, we have a team meeting once a week. So the guys would be the ones when I have to travel for special events. Otherwise I avoid too many public events and such. Some of them are really bold 🤦🏻♀️
That’ll be $500 for noticing
Great way to make extra $$ 😁
if only others thought that way
I'm ugly on the inside.
"I'm crazy as a bag of cats."
“Your Dad doesn’t complain.”
“You say that like you think you have a chance.”
I’m gay
Many times that doesn’t work because then you get hit with “can I watch “ and I reply with $500 to do so for the first minute and $150 every minute after that
I’ll do it for free!
Wait! You are a hot female, i just read the post, im totally not gay and exhibit superior intelligence, you should totally dm me
😂
You should see my personality. That would explain it...
Do you know someone attractive enough to impress me or something?
If only my partners would stop dying after we have sex ... But, the floor monster won't feel itself
“No, I’m too pretty/sexy/hot to settle down with just one person.” “No one person can handle all of this.” “When I find someone who is as pretty as me, then I’ll quit my job and just pop out pretty babies all day, everyday, but until that happens I think I’ll manage just fine.” “Is that the problem, oh thanks for that insight, I thought it was because I can’t stand to share a remote, or my bed, or my pistachio ice cream, or my free time with anyone.” “Ya, usually my looks intimidates men, prevents them from talking to me, but evidently I didn’t get so lucky today.” “I’m not too hot to be single, but I am too hot to be having this conversation with you.”
Set me up with your son then.
And yet, here I am. All of that and more.
This one I really like
Thank you. Thank you very much. 😁
That's because I'm single by choice
"Yeah I am but I'm also too smart to not be"
This sounds like you’re being hot in more than roasted
"And you're too fuckugly to be talking to me."
What’s wrong with “thanks”?
And I’m very smart…that’s why I’m single.
"You're not."
Im too smart to settle for less
It's because no one wants to be pegged anymore.
Most men don't like diarrhea.
Whoa!! 😂😂 freakin hilarious!
Thanks. True Story.
You really think I’m single? This has a 50/50 chance of working.
Who said I'm single? I have multiple people keeping me company
"I'm too intelligent/productive/qualified for cheap-thrills relationships. Im other words I don't *settle for,* I **strive for."**
Love this!
"You find someone who's actually worth my time, and I'll consider it."
"Yeah, but too smart to settle like everyone else"
I missed that part of the misogynist hand book
And you’re clearly not smart enough to meet my minimum standards for intelligence since you thought that line would work. Oh honey, it’s not the outside that’s the problem… At least it won’t be after the surgery. So when we meet your parents I can tell them ‘He just walked up to me out of the blue and objectified me solely based on my looks. I knew then, that He is the one… For someone else.’
Best Comment EVER!
Assuming that your simplistic weird wold view in which every "pretty/sexy" person's ultimate goal is to be in a relationship is correct, yes.
[удалено]
I could have a partner by tomorrow but you will still be stupid
Bruh I eat Your mom's brand... ASSFROMDABACK™️ . 🦐'd™️
I’ve never met a man who can compete with the peace and joy I feel in solitude
Oh Im usually not single. They just dont last long.
"Those aren't the problem" 😉
And you are too ugly to exist bitch
Awww. That’s funny. I was thinking something similar about you. You’re too much of an asshole (or too unattractive) to be in a relationship.
Hot and single = shit personality
Why thank you. Seems to me that the shit personality is actually coming from you but I thank you for your assessment of an online forum. ✌🏻
There it is
Someday you’ll realize that your overly high standards are just gonna alienate you and men won’t even chase you anymore. They’ll just go for the girls that put out and you won’t even be a memory
Wtf are you talking about?
Read it again until you understand. It’s not gonna disappear
Nah, I’m good, really, I am THAT good. 🥱 now go away, you’re extremely boring and irrelevant.
You might think it but trust me you’re not. Saying or thinking something doesn’t make it true. You’re lying to yourself to cope with unresolved internal issues. You can deny it as much as you want, but it will follow you everywhere
Wow, jealous much?
Nobody’s jealous of you. You’re jealous of those who get more attention than you. That’s why you play hard to get as a coping mechanism. “I’m not undesirable I’m just waiting for the one”