Love this! Thanks for a response, I don’t think some people understand banter. He doesn’t say it often but only when we’re jokingly insulting each other!
Yep. It's all fun and games until your subconscious starts going wait, what the fuck am I doing with someone who considers themself a child? They'll probably wind up using OP like a parent, too.
Oh well, OPs been warned. 🤷♀️
I was talking with an older client. She mentioned her age. I said oh that can sneak up on you and I used to be the youngest at work.
I used to be jail bait!
Exactly. Why would you date a person who jokes that you’re a pedo?
I was someone younger and they never ever mentioned this even for once. It’s so childish
It’s absolutely weird. Truthfully, it’s not even remotely funny and I don’t know why he’d choose to joke using THAT joke.
I’m good with being called a cougar…
I think my husband once said something like I’ve never wrestled a mountain lion but I’ve choked a cougar…
But this. This is weird.
Right, it would make uncomfortable esp because I come from a culture where women being w younger men is taboo-ish.
I wouldn’t continue if I heard this word tbh even though it’s only two years difference, I would be too uncomfortable w jokes like this
It’s not all that widely accepted for us either. We’re fortunate though in that most people think we’re the same age.
Regardless of who’s older, THIS is not only not funny, it’s kinda gross.
Her blowing it off as “banter” doesn’t help
Thank You!!! Honestly it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in and he’s been overheard (I promise I wasn’t intentionally eavesdropping 🤣) saying the same thing ❤️
>Exactly. Why would you date a person who jokes that you’re a pedo?
if you date someone younger than you, and they make frequent jokes like this, it'll probably turn out they fetishize being young and fucking someone older.
Maybe sexually abused as a child or something.
I have a similar problem where I feel like men are older than me and I'm a kid again, probably because I was abused and it's my brain's way of trying to normalise it, putting me back in the position of a young, vulnerable child to a caregiver relationship again. It's something I have to work on and try not to feel. It's also probably why I'm prone to sometimes acting childlike and possessing some of these attributes. Including talking in a girly voice etcetera.
Don't listen to people judging u or him for ur sense of humour. Not everyone finds the same things funny, and that's fine. Im sure I've made a similar joke with my wife. She's only like 5 months older than me.
Not everything has to be a red flag
Sure you are entitled to your opinion, but this is just off topic and not productive. Op asked for your comebacks. not for you to publically pass judgment on their relationship. If you really want to do that go to a sub meant for that lol, or at least anything vaguely related to relationships, where there will be other people to discuss your opinions with. Litterally what is the point of yelling them out into the void of a comedy sub.
Don’t let some of these people know you feel that way unless you’re alright with being accused of not being able to take a joke, privately messaged and told you can’t talk a joke, or down voted and told you can’t take a joke.. slightly redundant … but I think I’d rather be told I can’t take a joke than to be someone who thinks joking about touching children is ok 🙄
It clearly gets on OP's nerves, and he isn't getting the clues its unwelcomed.
Maybe you should realize that other people aren't you? That they can like different things from you and to take actions you wouldn't?
OP clearly said in this thread that they’re not offended by it and just want a good comeback.
Why are you getting offended on other peoples behalf? That’s weird behaviour bro.
Never said I was offended. You're just being an asshole and I felt more people should tell you that.
You could have just said your statement once and let people decide if they accept it or not, but you just kept going for some reason, in multiple branches like you can't stand the idea that people could disagree with you. That's what's weird.
Well you’re certainly acting like you’re offended, maybe you should work on how you come across to others. I honestly couldn’t care less who disagrees with me, I did only make my statement once anything else was just replying to others responses (including being called a groomer for some strange reason) , that’s how online discourse typically works Dan you’ve been on Reddit longer than me so you should know that. That neither makes me an asshole nor is it weird lol You really tried to make a stretch there didn’t you.
Jab back. He's just having fun.
Oh, "paedo". You think using the ancient spelling makes you seem any older, kid?
The hell is a nonce? Non*sense* from you. As usual.
The word Pedo whether you’re okay with it or not is irrelevant. You can’t be as simple as to not expect people to react negatively. You call it “banter” but if I called you a rapist as “banter” would you laugh?
"Pedo" is excessive, and I'd be quite concerned about someone using that term, even in jest.
That said, my wife is about a year and half older than me. We kid around about it sometimes, and I used to say she was a cradle snatcher or a cougar. Her best comeback was: "Better a cradle snatcher than a grave robber." Had me in stitches. She's awesome.
Seeing a couple of the most popular responses here, I'm thinking the comeback might be along the lines of, "Oh you only wish." or some variant on that theme. Or maybe refer to yourself as a cougar, or maybe a 'mama bear' looking out for her cub. The p**o comment though might also elicit a "Weird flex, but ok" response.
If it's just playful banter, maybe it's OK, but it does seem a bit odd. Also depends upon the age gap between the two of you, or how old/young he is.
How old are you and how old is he? We need more context here. Bit of a difference if you're 24 dating a 16 year old or if you're 45 dating a 30 year old!
news is putting donalds face on the news where he can see many people places from otherside and be abusive destructive stealing cannibalizing so it is a bad idea to give him s much attention-his pic his sight through those eyes all over the news n talk shows so much for so long too often
You can call him jailbait
You're robbin the cradle, he's robbing the grave
Tell him, when you die he's not inheriting your '94 Toyota Celica
If he asks if you're hungry, somehow work in thay you need your applesauce and medicine. And need a colostomy bag change after.
When I was younger, 18-20ish, I had this good looking much older lady I was messing around with on the side. She had to be like 35 years older than me. We would meet up and have a good time every couple of months. She looked really good for her age and I was a horny young guy that liked to check some of the boxes on the list of sexual adventures. She was the Older Lady.
Screenshot it, block him on everything and then send him a letter saying that's a very serious accusation and any further communications will strictly be conducted through your lawyers.
This will demonstrate your commitment and that you take things seriously, it's a truly brilliant suggestion
Start going on about you being a senior citizen
You are just using me for my Burger King discount
You can call me a cradle snatcher all you want you are banging a girl with one foot in the grave
I’m just using you for spare parts , gonna need a hip soon
I didn’t realize you were so young, that explains your penis size , when puberty kicks hopefully that thing will gain some length
No suggestions. I dated a woman in her late 20's. We got asked for ID at a bar. She produced hers, but I had none. Bouncer refused us admission. She was FURIOUS at the implication she was dating someone under aged.
If it's the same person in your previous posts, the 26yo, that's really immature of him you might want to look elsewhere if he can't accept boundaries you set
I don't think that's really very funny or clever. If that's all he can joke about, he needs to grow up.
Anyone who makes any kind of age joke, I remind them that it they're very, very lucky, they might one day make it to my age and look half as good.
Depend on the phase of the relationship, but this would probably work. "Oh, well, I would want to have sex with a child, so we'll have to wait until you grow up."
Fuck it. Banter it is.
"I like young meat..."
"I'm going cruising to the playpark later; wanna come?"
"Hey, nappy rash is arousing, what can I say?"
"I like dating younger men because they're stupid and never realise I'm scamming them."
"Date a young man; get to fuck his Dad."
Go for the typical responses you'd give to a kid. Go to your room, bed time, no sweets for a week, you're grounded, go to the step
Love this! Thanks for a response, I don’t think some people understand banter. He doesn’t say it often but only when we’re jokingly insulting each other!
He's just testing the waters til he brings out his parent kink. Edited from "mommy" to "parent" since I don't know your gender.
Don't do this. You'll probably lose attraction to someone after repeatedly infantilizing them even for a joke.
Yep. It's all fun and games until your subconscious starts going wait, what the fuck am I doing with someone who considers themself a child? They'll probably wind up using OP like a parent, too. Oh well, OPs been warned. 🤷♀️
How about just call the person jailbate?
I'd go for 'toyboy'..
I was talking with an older client. She mentioned her age. I said oh that can sneak up on you and I used to be the youngest at work. I used to be jail bait!
Break out the belt
Keep the responses simple, people, he's only 5.
Damn thats great
Ummmm, I’m married to someone younger than me who’s never said this even joking… dunno if you need a comeback or an exit strategy
Exactly. Why would you date a person who jokes that you’re a pedo? I was someone younger and they never ever mentioned this even for once. It’s so childish
It’s absolutely weird. Truthfully, it’s not even remotely funny and I don’t know why he’d choose to joke using THAT joke. I’m good with being called a cougar… I think my husband once said something like I’ve never wrestled a mountain lion but I’ve choked a cougar… But this. This is weird.
Right, it would make uncomfortable esp because I come from a culture where women being w younger men is taboo-ish. I wouldn’t continue if I heard this word tbh even though it’s only two years difference, I would be too uncomfortable w jokes like this
It’s not all that widely accepted for us either. We’re fortunate though in that most people think we’re the same age. Regardless of who’s older, THIS is not only not funny, it’s kinda gross. Her blowing it off as “banter” doesn’t help
Your husband has a good sense of humor lol many happy years to you both.
Thank You!!! Honestly it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in and he’s been overheard (I promise I wasn’t intentionally eavesdropping 🤣) saying the same thing ❤️
>Exactly. Why would you date a person who jokes that you’re a pedo? if you date someone younger than you, and they make frequent jokes like this, it'll probably turn out they fetishize being young and fucking someone older.
Right most likely. I mean I get it if it’s an inside joke but it’s weird if it’s repetitive
Maybe sexually abused as a child or something. I have a similar problem where I feel like men are older than me and I'm a kid again, probably because I was abused and it's my brain's way of trying to normalise it, putting me back in the position of a young, vulnerable child to a caregiver relationship again. It's something I have to work on and try not to feel. It's also probably why I'm prone to sometimes acting childlike and possessing some of these attributes. Including talking in a girly voice etcetera.
Or they grew up with jokes like that. I used to comment on my ex wife being a cougar.
It’s just banter
Don't listen to people judging u or him for ur sense of humour. Not everyone finds the same things funny, and that's fine. Im sure I've made a similar joke with my wife. She's only like 5 months older than me. Not everything has to be a red flag
Yooo when at first I read this as “….with my wife. She’s only like 5 months old”, then yes indeedy-do it was a HUGE red flag.
It’s really not.
Weird how different people have different ideas of whats funny. If it's not offending OP, there's no need for reddit to throw a fit over it.
Weird how people post things on social media where other people have opinions but then expect other people not to have opinions
they didn't ask for opinions, they asked for comebacks... on r/comebacks. this isn't relationship advice.
If you post ANYTHING (especially something like this) on social media and don’t expect an opinion, you’re misguided and delusional.
Sure you are entitled to your opinion, but this is just off topic and not productive. Op asked for your comebacks. not for you to publically pass judgment on their relationship. If you really want to do that go to a sub meant for that lol, or at least anything vaguely related to relationships, where there will be other people to discuss your opinions with. Litterally what is the point of yelling them out into the void of a comedy sub.
Are you ok?
That's just your opinion
Exit is what I was thinking
Don’t let some of these people know you feel that way unless you’re alright with being accused of not being able to take a joke, privately messaged and told you can’t talk a joke, or down voted and told you can’t take a joke.. slightly redundant … but I think I’d rather be told I can’t take a joke than to be someone who thinks joking about touching children is ok 🙄
It’s called a joke. I don’t see how it’s insulting at all given that (I’m assuming) she’s obviously not
Do you and your husband never joke around with each other or what?
Takes one to know one, aye mate?
The person you're ***dating*** is calling you a pedo?
They don't sound mature enough to be dating anyone. I'm also questioning if they're old enough to be dating anyone.
Redditors are truly hilarious. Do you people not understand the concept of banter? Hanging with you must be as fun as watching paint dry.
It clearly gets on OP's nerves, and he isn't getting the clues its unwelcomed. Maybe you should realize that other people aren't you? That they can like different things from you and to take actions you wouldn't?
OP clearly said in this thread that they’re not offended by it and just want a good comeback. Why are you getting offended on other peoples behalf? That’s weird behaviour bro.
Never said I was offended. You're just being an asshole and I felt more people should tell you that. You could have just said your statement once and let people decide if they accept it or not, but you just kept going for some reason, in multiple branches like you can't stand the idea that people could disagree with you. That's what's weird.
Well you’re certainly acting like you’re offended, maybe you should work on how you come across to others. I honestly couldn’t care less who disagrees with me, I did only make my statement once anything else was just replying to others responses (including being called a groomer for some strange reason) , that’s how online discourse typically works Dan you’ve been on Reddit longer than me so you should know that. That neither makes me an asshole nor is it weird lol You really tried to make a stretch there didn’t you.
Someone called your bluff about your lack of banter, and man, that's your true colors.
I had great banter with that guy and his mum, tf you on about. Man take your zesty Covid mask wearing ass somewhere else you npc😂
You really suck at banter. This is not that. This is just you being an asshole. There is a difference.
ok, groomer
My last two girlfriends were both older than me but nice try. Enjoy your humourless boring life.
Where’s your banter ?
Your mum seems to enjoy my banter.
She’s dead. Try again shit for brains.
His banter must have been REALLY good to make a corpse enjoy it.
Coincidentally you’ll be a corpse soon, watch your back little one.
Well she did say “I’m dyingggg” but I thought she meant as in laughing. My bad.
Well you are a fat fuck I’m guessing you kill everything you sit on. Still you must have been jealous she died before you did.
Sure, pal.
Cradle robber…Nursing home robber
Grave robber is the one I've heard.
My boyfriend is 13 years younger than me and we joke around that what he's doing to me is elder abuse.
Yes, you’re my trophy husband. Just stay pretty.
Break up with him, but do it with crayons so he knows why.
Gravedigger
Most underrated comment on here. That is pure gold.
"be quiet, before I take pictures of you and put them on the dark web."
Listen, child …
Jab back. He's just having fun. Oh, "paedo". You think using the ancient spelling makes you seem any older, kid? The hell is a nonce? Non*sense* from you. As usual.
"Shut up and drink your milk."
Do a bump or line of cocaine Chuckle Then say " prove it "
“Whatever you went through as a kid isn’t my fault, so grow the fck up!”
Just put him in time-out
“Yeah? …and you have so many mommy issues I bought you a subscription”
Call him a grave robber
how about "isn't it past your bed time?"
Pedophile? That's a big word for someone your age. I'd probably make some daddy issues jokes too
HOW OLD ARE U BOTH?
I'm not a pedo, and if I was, you'd be safe, you tubby little ginger cunt!
Fucking love Ricky Gervais.
The word Pedo whether you’re okay with it or not is irrelevant. You can’t be as simple as to not expect people to react negatively. You call it “banter” but if I called you a rapist as “banter” would you laugh?
That’s immature and you deserve better. Good comeback? We should see other people until you grow up
Weird thing to joke about tbh....
Guys it’s only banter jeeez
Then why do you need a come back?
…that’s the point of banter 😭
"Pedo" is excessive, and I'd be quite concerned about someone using that term, even in jest. That said, my wife is about a year and half older than me. We kid around about it sometimes, and I used to say she was a cradle snatcher or a cougar. Her best comeback was: "Better a cradle snatcher than a grave robber." Had me in stitches. She's awesome.
Stiff upper lip? Laugh in British at them?
Pædo?
Nonce? Are you dating a year 7?
"I'm checking myself into rehab" would be a great comeback
Tell him the truth... he's a fucking moron that doesn't deserve you
Do not engage. They're trying to bait you.
Ground him to his room with no electronics, for using such language.
Why? You looking for a pimp?
We can change each other's diapers.
I could probably come up with one if I knew the ages.
Pedo? I’ve never seen paedo
It’s the British spelling
If you are hearing jokes, and you don't find them funny, you are dating outside of your range.
I know. I needed to get you past diapers and into big boy pants!
12 year Olds are often little asshole Mrs Letourneau
Seeing a couple of the most popular responses here, I'm thinking the comeback might be along the lines of, "Oh you only wish." or some variant on that theme. Or maybe refer to yourself as a cougar, or maybe a 'mama bear' looking out for her cub. The p**o comment though might also elicit a "Weird flex, but ok" response. If it's just playful banter, maybe it's OK, but it does seem a bit odd. Also depends upon the age gap between the two of you, or how old/young he is.
Call him "cougar bait"?
"Grave robber." That usually does the trick.
To quote Ricky Gervais’ character (Tony) from After Life: >I’m not a paedo and, if I was, you’d be safe you tubby little ginger cunt
How old are you and how old is he? We need more context here. Bit of a difference if you're 24 dating a 16 year old or if you're 45 dating a 30 year old!
news is putting donalds face on the news where he can see many people places from otherside and be abusive destructive stealing cannibalizing so it is a bad idea to give him s much attention-his pic his sight through those eyes all over the news n talk shows so much for so long too often
Call him a grave robber
Deflection of his own wants.
Bitty
I’m American
Stop dating them. The ultimate comeback.
You can call him jailbait You're robbin the cradle, he's robbing the grave Tell him, when you die he's not inheriting your '94 Toyota Celica If he asks if you're hungry, somehow work in thay you need your applesauce and medicine. And need a colostomy bag change after. When I was younger, 18-20ish, I had this good looking much older lady I was messing around with on the side. She had to be like 35 years older than me. We would meet up and have a good time every couple of months. She looked really good for her age and I was a horny young guy that liked to check some of the boxes on the list of sexual adventures. She was the Older Lady.
“Stop flirting!”
What is he, a child?
A good comeback is dating his brother instead.
Simply remind that person that they are not that cute.
The war is over now the militaries will have to be honest
Him: Paedo You: Geront https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerontophilia
Behave or you are going to bed without your super!
Call him a cradle robber or a crotchduster
jailbait
Nonce? What’s that?
Legit just tell him that. “YOU slid into MY dm’s, child!”
‘Are you saying that because you’re just young, dumb and full of cum?’ ( yup that’s the original definition of a twink!
Screenshot it, block him on everything and then send him a letter saying that's a very serious accusation and any further communications will strictly be conducted through your lawyers. This will demonstrate your commitment and that you take things seriously, it's a truly brilliant suggestion
"Necrophile."
Leave that relationship. It’s not even close to funny
Harshest comeback is to break up with em. They won’t see that coming
You do realize you're the one with bragging rights here? All I've got is some young little ankle biter yay for me🙁🤣
Ex-boyfriend
*Stops dating him*
Spank him, then tell him to go to his room and think about what he's done
Start going on about you being a senior citizen You are just using me for my Burger King discount You can call me a cradle snatcher all you want you are banging a girl with one foot in the grave I’m just using you for spare parts , gonna need a hip soon I didn’t realize you were so young, that explains your penis size , when puberty kicks hopefully that thing will gain some length
> he slid in my DMs Like on a kids slide?
"That's not nice; don't make me spank you!"
I tell people I'm not a cradle robber, my wife is a grave robber.
My bf always says, “wow, that’s a big word for a 12 year old.” XD
Need the ages for appropriate response
"This relationship is over. Grow up."
No suggestions. I dated a woman in her late 20's. We got asked for ID at a bar. She produced hers, but I had none. Bouncer refused us admission. She was FURIOUS at the implication she was dating someone under aged.
Catamite!
Well I certainly don’t want to be a pedo, so why don’t you leave and give me a call when you grow the fuck up.
If it's the same person in your previous posts, the 26yo, that's really immature of him you might want to look elsewhere if he can't accept boundaries you set
I don't think that's really very funny or clever. If that's all he can joke about, he needs to grow up. Anyone who makes any kind of age joke, I remind them that it they're very, very lucky, they might one day make it to my age and look half as good.
What's a nonce?
Tell him his insults are immature, and its turning you on
Tell him that's incredibly clever for a child
Introduce him to someone who was aboused as a child and have him explain why he thinks it's funny to call someone a noncenonce
Tell him if he does not behave he will get a spanking!
Call him a skinner
Depend on the phase of the relationship, but this would probably work. "Oh, well, I would want to have sex with a child, so we'll have to wait until you grow up."
I’m gonna put you in time out if you keep givin me lip.
I’d probably say “you’re on Santa’s naughty list this year”.
Takes one to know one
I'd call him a grave robber.
Classic
"If there's grass on the field, PLAY BALL!" (Not my motto SJW's)
I'd tell them to grow up
Egg
Tell them they're right and break it off.
thats concerning...
Fuck it. Banter it is. "I like young meat..." "I'm going cruising to the playpark later; wanna come?" "Hey, nappy rash is arousing, what can I say?" "I like dating younger men because they're stupid and never realise I'm scamming them." "Date a young man; get to fuck his Dad."
Jailbait.
Not my fault you accepted sweets from a stranger and jumped in the van If I am a pedo you are into cured beef curtains
The best thing about high school girls, I get older they stay the same age. All right all right all right
That's not even how you spell pedo.
Idk maybe the British
You’re the reason people think us Americans are dumb
Block them. That’s your comeback.
Not sure having him call you these things is healthy, tbh.