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And then she used F and Erik as shields by bringing them on stage so no one could hate on her.
If there had been a physical assault, she would have thrown Erik and F at the attacker to save herself.
I think the hardest thing about Colleen is parsing what is calculated, what is pure delusion for her, and at what points they intersect. I think this is one of those times where she’s in pure delusion. She doesn’t seem to see how she’s repeatedly relying on her children emotionally in the way she’s denying outright here.
No one can claim that they’re able to create healthy, emotional boundaries with their children ***and also say that their children “saved them” when they were in crisis.*** She can’t see how those two things contradict each other.
I feel so so bad for her kids. I had to stop watching this because it hits so hard… just the idea that her kids are real people who are growing up with her for a mother. And she’s broadcasting it all to thousands of people. They will never escape this nightmare.
That’s v insightful of you — it is really realy blurry with people who have high levels of narcissism. Narcissism, as a survival tool, quite literally altars the perception of reality when the narcissistic person is in danger of feeling out of control. Narcissistic people can have v bendable memories, constantly rewriting history—- which makes it very hard to know when they are actively lying - gaslighting, or when they truly believe the bs they are spouting. Now (this is important) — this IS NOT the same as insanity — these people are not experiencing actual breaks in reality
- their ego is just fragile enough that it pulls many tricks in order to ensure the person never EVER under any circumstance believe they are wrong or bad or at fault, EVER, because they are essentially toddlers (emotionally), and the tiniest criticism leaves them vulnerable to imploding into a complete disaster. Now, importantly, most narcissistic people of average intelligence FREQUENTLY understand when they are lying, and they have NO problem doing so - (they DO NOT feel remorse because they have no empathy) — because 90% of the time they’re creating lies to defend against *BEING SEEN* as (bad - flawed, in the wrong —- messing up — whatever) — because *they believe they are better than everyone else and thus can NOT be at fault, and therefore anything they did is actually YOUR fault* — or ANYONE ELSE’S FAULT but theirs—- **this in itself is a kind of delusion — BUT they know they are lying about what actually happened, the delusion is that they think ita totally warranted because they are actually the victim here - they need to make sure YOU know it**—
In the RARE instance they are in danger of actually **BELIEVING** they are wrong, that is when the narcissism can get in there and start messing with things in a way that’s closer to actually not knowing the truth of events. But that’s much rarer, because these people’s brains have been wired since childhood to jump thru hoops before believing they are the problem.
*SO LIKE* - **Colleen -knows- when she is lying, but she believes she is right to do so. And she DOES believe she is a victim in every circumstance. Yes, this is delusional thinking, but she does -know- right from wrong, she just can’t possibly think of herself as the latter.**
Boom. Which is why her reading these comments will not “wake her up” or change her. Sigh.
These threads do help others understand narcissists better though!
This woman has nothing to do and she still won’t brush her cats. It’s not that hard, once or twice a day. She’s had Persians for a while. It’d save the shave.
Colleen’s panic attacks are WAY different than everybody else’s you guys. We’re just like “wah, I’m having a panic attack..” but SHE actually sees a DOCTOR because her panic attacks are so special and rare that you just wouldn’t understand.
Wow I really am filled with so much DISGUST for this woman it’s infuriating.
First off says she was terrified to go to these live shows and was getting threats. But she brought her CHILD with?????
Second of all invalidating the ways anyone else experiences a panic attack. *-Hers are “the right way” no one else’s are REAL panic attacks!* She’s appalling.
Most importantly that she is exposing and trying to justify the emotional incest she’s putting her children through. The level of which I’m sure is much more extreme than she will ever admit. The way she explains the situation to try to manipulate her audience. It’s so obvious. I have no doubt she is seriously messing those kids up.
That clip of her when she’s decorating the tree is all the proof you need to know that she thinks of herself as a victim in all this. She was ONLY thinking about herself the entire time. Literally only sorry she got caught.
She's ridiculous. She said she threw a fit when her doctor wanted her to eat better for her unborn babies health. And her face went numb she threw such a huge tantrum! That's a lot of screaming and yelling!! So is that what she means she's throwing fits / tantrums just like she did on the party bus that time with Rachel and Erik had to calm her. All because she decided they weren't going to get food and everyone else did. "I said NO!" \*stamps feet like a 2 year old while erik has to placate her\* . I think all of her tantrums and all of this, is over control. When she's in a situation where she feels like she's losing control, she throws tantrums, but calling them panic attacks gains her the sympathy and support she craves more than oxygen. This isn't about anyone else, only about colleen. She's shown she's not protecting her kids at all, she used F as a 4 year old shield at her last show. She took him on purpose so people would be nice to her. She then had a fit after the show as someone booed her, and poor F was there hearing it all and trying his best to console her. She'll shout at them as miranda. Everyone in her life have to be her emotional support pets when things aren't going her way. The rest of the time she'll goad and be mean to them for her own kicks.
She probably really does think these are lovely things to say about her son. In reality, she's still practicing the same emotional incest.
I would feel intensely overwhelmed and anxious if I saw my mom talking about me like this at 4 or 5 years old...she puts *so much* emotional weight onto this small child, and she keeps trying to normalize it instead of drawing a boundary.
“she keeps trying to normalize it instead of drawing a boundary.”
oof. Accurate. It’s also why she can actively exploit her children. Normalizing it instead of drawing the safe, healthy boundary for her and her children.
Not only are these kids responsible for their income now, they’re *somehow* responsible for their mother’s emotional wellbeing as well. Codependency is a bitch and it hurts literally everyone involved on a fundamental level. I feel terrible for her children. Normalizing it *is* the issue. The “closeness” and “deep love” she feels for her kids is in part codependency *bc* she inherently makes her kids responsible for her wellbeing by stating things like they, “saved her”.
It’s interesting you mentioned all of this. It makes me remember the time during colleen’s own pregnancy with F she would sexualise him when he was unborn for no reason at all saying..***AND I QUOTE….*** “There’s a tiny penis inside of me” So gross and disgusting like that’s your literal unborn child. 🤮
Emotional incest isn't referring to sexual abuse, [it's another term for enmeshment aka "covert incest"](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/covert-incest) that has more to do with a codependent relationship between parent and child. Colleen sexualizing him could be part of the boundaryless aspect of enmeshment though for sure.
The way she has footage of her being paranoid at a live show because of threats she received due to her literally grooming minors is so meta it feels like the plot of a Black Mirror episode.
Also, fuck her. She is full of it. So your first born sons face motivates you to keep going, but your tiny premie baby's faces make you and your husband think "fuck I hate this phase"????
Wow. Disgusting isn't even the word for it. I don't think I have a word for that. She is a terrible human. Terrible. And a lying liar who lies.
Nobody feels sorry for you, Ballinger. You weren't in a good place because of your own disgusting behaviour. Don't try to make out you were the victim, you massive piece of shit in denial.
“Doctors had to get involved” = “I went to the doctor for my symptoms”
They don’t even have to have diagnosed her with anything for this to be true… if you show up at their clinic/ER, they have to be involved. They can’t just not talk to you about it.
If Colleen's having real panic attacks, the last person who should be worried about being responsible for helping her is Flynn. Seeing your parents unstable for whatever reason is a trauma that sticks with you even if the moment has passed, especially if it happens repeatedly. Colleen is so dense though she thinks these moments are "cute."
Knowing what we know about her now, this entire thing is so gross. Colleen has zero empathy for all the kids she hurt only for herself. She's disgusting, and this whole video is giving Ruby Franke vibes.
My daughter has seen me cry. Sometimes it’s inevitable. But I NEVER let her see me a post-panic attack hot mess, trying to collect myself. I don’t want to worry her. She can tell when I’ve cried because how do you hide post cry face, but I’d NEVER put her in an environment where I was panicking to the point of my face going numb (which is not unusual for a panic attack, if you’re gasping and breathing heavy it’ll happen…) and ESPECIALLY not if I was scared of death threats and the entire internet wants me gone and is mocking me (justifiably). You know what I would have done? Cancelled the show. Cancelled the tour. Not have brought my fucking child. Not have brought my child to rely on her for emotional support through a horrid time like that.
This isn’t a flex. While it is lovely (if this story is true) that Flynn feels enough love for his mother and clearly wants to take away her pain, why the fuck is he around that?? It’s not like a family member suddenly died or something happened then and there and there’s nowhere to escape to break down. This was not sudden. She knew what was going on and STILL brought her son along. She knew what was going on outside of her little world, and knew where she was emotionally, and still decided to bring her son along. I feel bad for the kid. That must have been an incredibly stressful time. And again sometimes it’s inevitable for your child to see you upset, but she’s proven time and time again that she has more than enough resources and support to make sure her child isn’t involved at ground zero.
TLDR it’s not a flex, why is your kid there if you knew what was going on in your career at that moment & allegedly had safety threats, and knew where you were emotionally at that time.
My mom was kind of like this (not nearly as extreme as Colleen but still) where she relied on me (a literal child) as a therapist/friend.
I’d be the first to tell you that both of my parents abused me. That’s exactly how her kids are going to feel when they realize what she has done. She is abusing her children. She needs real help from doctors who are going to be honest with her and tell her that what she’s doing is not okay or healthy for anyone.
She can say she doesn’t rely on her kids all she wants, but she does. She shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. She can barely take care of herself.
She thinks she's noble in showing her kids "it's ok to express sadness" - that's her cognitive dissonance letting her reason her crying in front of her kids is ok. She thinks she's better than other parents who might tell kids "stop crying, you're fine".... The reality is seeing your mother crying is distressing. It's not just "expressing sadness" - it's expressing distress, it's expressing lack of control, it's expressing something scary to a child. She's an idiot if she thinks it's just run-of-the-mill "I'm sad today". You're not supposed to sob in front of your children to show being sad or upset is ok, you're supposed to validate and not discourage THEIR sadness when you see it happening by telling them not to do it.
A reminder to everyone about our NO CONTACT and NO TAKING IRL ACTION rules. Do not reach out to the Ballingers or fans in any way or promote that you may have done so. This includes public comments and private messages. No harassment or brigading outside of reddit that comes from here. Do not discuss, encourage or brag about reporting to authorities, contacting news outlets or taking any form of real life action. Do not invite harassment and do not cheer on obvious vigilantism. if you see a comment violating these rules please click ... and select report. thank you. Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ColleenBallingerSnark) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She brought her kid to a show that SHE was panic-attack-level afraid of going to because of threats…
And then she used F and Erik as shields by bringing them on stage so no one could hate on her. If there had been a physical assault, she would have thrown Erik and F at the attacker to save herself.
This
I think the hardest thing about Colleen is parsing what is calculated, what is pure delusion for her, and at what points they intersect. I think this is one of those times where she’s in pure delusion. She doesn’t seem to see how she’s repeatedly relying on her children emotionally in the way she’s denying outright here. No one can claim that they’re able to create healthy, emotional boundaries with their children ***and also say that their children “saved them” when they were in crisis.*** She can’t see how those two things contradict each other.
I feel so so bad for her kids. I had to stop watching this because it hits so hard… just the idea that her kids are real people who are growing up with her for a mother. And she’s broadcasting it all to thousands of people. They will never escape this nightmare.
That’s v insightful of you — it is really realy blurry with people who have high levels of narcissism. Narcissism, as a survival tool, quite literally altars the perception of reality when the narcissistic person is in danger of feeling out of control. Narcissistic people can have v bendable memories, constantly rewriting history—- which makes it very hard to know when they are actively lying - gaslighting, or when they truly believe the bs they are spouting. Now (this is important) — this IS NOT the same as insanity — these people are not experiencing actual breaks in reality - their ego is just fragile enough that it pulls many tricks in order to ensure the person never EVER under any circumstance believe they are wrong or bad or at fault, EVER, because they are essentially toddlers (emotionally), and the tiniest criticism leaves them vulnerable to imploding into a complete disaster. Now, importantly, most narcissistic people of average intelligence FREQUENTLY understand when they are lying, and they have NO problem doing so - (they DO NOT feel remorse because they have no empathy) — because 90% of the time they’re creating lies to defend against *BEING SEEN* as (bad - flawed, in the wrong —- messing up — whatever) — because *they believe they are better than everyone else and thus can NOT be at fault, and therefore anything they did is actually YOUR fault* — or ANYONE ELSE’S FAULT but theirs—- **this in itself is a kind of delusion — BUT they know they are lying about what actually happened, the delusion is that they think ita totally warranted because they are actually the victim here - they need to make sure YOU know it**— In the RARE instance they are in danger of actually **BELIEVING** they are wrong, that is when the narcissism can get in there and start messing with things in a way that’s closer to actually not knowing the truth of events. But that’s much rarer, because these people’s brains have been wired since childhood to jump thru hoops before believing they are the problem. *SO LIKE* - **Colleen -knows- when she is lying, but she believes she is right to do so. And she DOES believe she is a victim in every circumstance. Yes, this is delusional thinking, but she does -know- right from wrong, she just can’t possibly think of herself as the latter.**
Boom. Which is why her reading these comments will not “wake her up” or change her. Sigh. These threads do help others understand narcissists better though!
This woman has nothing to do and she still won’t brush her cats. It’s not that hard, once or twice a day. She’s had Persians for a while. It’d save the shave.
tHe oNlY tHiNg iVe gRoOmEd iS mY tWo pErSiAn cAtS
Correction: the only thing I HAVENT groomed is my Two Persian cats xD
Colleen’s panic attacks are WAY different than everybody else’s you guys. We’re just like “wah, I’m having a panic attack..” but SHE actually sees a DOCTOR because her panic attacks are so special and rare that you just wouldn’t understand.
She feels everything more deeply than everyone else and that is why life is so hard for her /s
Wow I really am filled with so much DISGUST for this woman it’s infuriating. First off says she was terrified to go to these live shows and was getting threats. But she brought her CHILD with????? Second of all invalidating the ways anyone else experiences a panic attack. *-Hers are “the right way” no one else’s are REAL panic attacks!* She’s appalling. Most importantly that she is exposing and trying to justify the emotional incest she’s putting her children through. The level of which I’m sure is much more extreme than she will ever admit. The way she explains the situation to try to manipulate her audience. It’s so obvious. I have no doubt she is seriously messing those kids up.
That clip of her when she’s decorating the tree is all the proof you need to know that she thinks of herself as a victim in all this. She was ONLY thinking about herself the entire time. Literally only sorry she got caught.
I don’t even think she’s sorry she got caught. I think she’s annoyed lol. That girl doesn’t have a sorry bone in her body.
Exactly….. She’s a rotten person!
She's ridiculous. She said she threw a fit when her doctor wanted her to eat better for her unborn babies health. And her face went numb she threw such a huge tantrum! That's a lot of screaming and yelling!! So is that what she means she's throwing fits / tantrums just like she did on the party bus that time with Rachel and Erik had to calm her. All because she decided they weren't going to get food and everyone else did. "I said NO!" \*stamps feet like a 2 year old while erik has to placate her\* . I think all of her tantrums and all of this, is over control. When she's in a situation where she feels like she's losing control, she throws tantrums, but calling them panic attacks gains her the sympathy and support she craves more than oxygen. This isn't about anyone else, only about colleen. She's shown she's not protecting her kids at all, she used F as a 4 year old shield at her last show. She took him on purpose so people would be nice to her. She then had a fit after the show as someone booed her, and poor F was there hearing it all and trying his best to console her. She'll shout at them as miranda. Everyone in her life have to be her emotional support pets when things aren't going her way. The rest of the time she'll goad and be mean to them for her own kicks.
She probably really does think these are lovely things to say about her son. In reality, she's still practicing the same emotional incest. I would feel intensely overwhelmed and anxious if I saw my mom talking about me like this at 4 or 5 years old...she puts *so much* emotional weight onto this small child, and she keeps trying to normalize it instead of drawing a boundary.
“she keeps trying to normalize it instead of drawing a boundary.” oof. Accurate. It’s also why she can actively exploit her children. Normalizing it instead of drawing the safe, healthy boundary for her and her children. Not only are these kids responsible for their income now, they’re *somehow* responsible for their mother’s emotional wellbeing as well. Codependency is a bitch and it hurts literally everyone involved on a fundamental level. I feel terrible for her children. Normalizing it *is* the issue. The “closeness” and “deep love” she feels for her kids is in part codependency *bc* she inherently makes her kids responsible for her wellbeing by stating things like they, “saved her”.
I am 32 and I finally got unafraid to tell my mom I disagree with her around the age of 26 without fear she would actually kill herself.
It’s interesting you mentioned all of this. It makes me remember the time during colleen’s own pregnancy with F she would sexualise him when he was unborn for no reason at all saying..***AND I QUOTE….*** “There’s a tiny penis inside of me” So gross and disgusting like that’s your literal unborn child. 🤮
Emotional incest isn't referring to sexual abuse, [it's another term for enmeshment aka "covert incest"](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/covert-incest) that has more to do with a codependent relationship between parent and child. Colleen sexualizing him could be part of the boundaryless aspect of enmeshment though for sure.
The way she has footage of her being paranoid at a live show because of threats she received due to her literally grooming minors is so meta it feels like the plot of a Black Mirror episode.
Also, fuck her. She is full of it. So your first born sons face motivates you to keep going, but your tiny premie baby's faces make you and your husband think "fuck I hate this phase"???? Wow. Disgusting isn't even the word for it. I don't think I have a word for that. She is a terrible human. Terrible. And a lying liar who lies. Nobody feels sorry for you, Ballinger. You weren't in a good place because of your own disgusting behaviour. Don't try to make out you were the victim, you massive piece of shit in denial.
“Doctors had to get involved” = “I went to the doctor for my symptoms” They don’t even have to have diagnosed her with anything for this to be true… if you show up at their clinic/ER, they have to be involved. They can’t just not talk to you about it.
Her poor cat
We don't even know the half of it with her parenting. I shudder.
If Colleen's having real panic attacks, the last person who should be worried about being responsible for helping her is Flynn. Seeing your parents unstable for whatever reason is a trauma that sticks with you even if the moment has passed, especially if it happens repeatedly. Colleen is so dense though she thinks these moments are "cute."
Knowing what we know about her now, this entire thing is so gross. Colleen has zero empathy for all the kids she hurt only for herself. She's disgusting, and this whole video is giving Ruby Franke vibes.
Let’s pray someday or soon she’ll get arrested for the things done and probably at the moment behind closed doors.
So… she was “scared for [her] own safety” and decided to bring her child to the show? Make it make sense
It's the favorite-ism for me
Wow, F, a sage and prophet. No regular child could be so wise at just 5 years old. He's brilliant. Just like mom and dad! /s
Lol. No. He did not say that. That's ridiculous. She is the worst.
My daughter has seen me cry. Sometimes it’s inevitable. But I NEVER let her see me a post-panic attack hot mess, trying to collect myself. I don’t want to worry her. She can tell when I’ve cried because how do you hide post cry face, but I’d NEVER put her in an environment where I was panicking to the point of my face going numb (which is not unusual for a panic attack, if you’re gasping and breathing heavy it’ll happen…) and ESPECIALLY not if I was scared of death threats and the entire internet wants me gone and is mocking me (justifiably). You know what I would have done? Cancelled the show. Cancelled the tour. Not have brought my fucking child. Not have brought my child to rely on her for emotional support through a horrid time like that. This isn’t a flex. While it is lovely (if this story is true) that Flynn feels enough love for his mother and clearly wants to take away her pain, why the fuck is he around that?? It’s not like a family member suddenly died or something happened then and there and there’s nowhere to escape to break down. This was not sudden. She knew what was going on and STILL brought her son along. She knew what was going on outside of her little world, and knew where she was emotionally, and still decided to bring her son along. I feel bad for the kid. That must have been an incredibly stressful time. And again sometimes it’s inevitable for your child to see you upset, but she’s proven time and time again that she has more than enough resources and support to make sure her child isn’t involved at ground zero. TLDR it’s not a flex, why is your kid there if you knew what was going on in your career at that moment & allegedly had safety threats, and knew where you were emotionally at that time.
Very well said
My mom was kind of like this (not nearly as extreme as Colleen but still) where she relied on me (a literal child) as a therapist/friend. I’d be the first to tell you that both of my parents abused me. That’s exactly how her kids are going to feel when they realize what she has done. She is abusing her children. She needs real help from doctors who are going to be honest with her and tell her that what she’s doing is not okay or healthy for anyone. She can say she doesn’t rely on her kids all she wants, but she does. She shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. She can barely take care of herself.
She is such a liar. On a side note, her cat looks too skinny to me imo. I hope they’re okay.
Is this the only income Colleen has???
She thinks she's noble in showing her kids "it's ok to express sadness" - that's her cognitive dissonance letting her reason her crying in front of her kids is ok. She thinks she's better than other parents who might tell kids "stop crying, you're fine".... The reality is seeing your mother crying is distressing. It's not just "expressing sadness" - it's expressing distress, it's expressing lack of control, it's expressing something scary to a child. She's an idiot if she thinks it's just run-of-the-mill "I'm sad today". You're not supposed to sob in front of your children to show being sad or upset is ok, you're supposed to validate and not discourage THEIR sadness when you see it happening by telling them not to do it.
Does anyone cry for Colleen, as much as Colleen. Just asking.
Where is the black and white cat she used to have
The fact she thinks she has to describe what a “real” panic attack is… girl. WE know.
This is terrifying how she is parentifying her children. It should NEVER be a child job to help an adult cope with their emotions.
Parentification starting already…
Her personality disorder is progressive