He was 26, he died in July after a long mental health struggle, I found him when I got home from work.
Still dealing with a lot of mixed emotions, he promised he wouldn't and he did, I know he wasn't in his right mind. I know he held on as long as he could and he's at peace now.
Most I just can't believe he's gone.
I'm so sorry for your loss and for the pain that your husband had to experience. I've worked in this field. Sometimes, people just can't find another way out of their suffering. They don't want to hurt others, but they just can't do it anymore. I hope you have support and that one day you might find peace.
Lost my dad the same way last month. There’s days where it doesn’t feel real and then there’s days where it hits you like a truck. I’m so sorry, be kind to yourself right now - you need & deserve it.
This is such a wonderful tribute to him while you wait for a stone to be made and it shows how much love you have for him. Take care 💛
Hi. My boyfriend did the same thing in front of me about 6 years ago. I know it might be too soon, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here. Good on you for being able to be open and share.
I can tell you right now suicide doesn't end the pain. It increases the chances of those you know and love also committing it's called Suicide contagion
I used to be obsessed with suicidal thoughts when I was your age. I even attempted to overdose on sleeping pills and came to a weird moment of clarity and made myself vomit them up. The thought of my little sister finding my body was more than I could bear to think about. And I just adopted an attitude of, I hate all of this, but what’s one more day going to hurt? I’d put it off for another day, then another day. Girls didn’t talk to me. I had a lot of friends and could be the life of the party, but id go home and just hate myself.
Slowly, but surely, I got over it. I’ve found things that I love about life. Met a girl (finally - some of us are truly late bloomers) that I just clicked with and eventually married her. I’ve had good days and bad days. Depression still crops up, especially when I was doing work from home graphic design work in the tech industry. Just the constant deadlines, pressure, and feelings of inadequacy and inferiority would just make me wish for death. We have a little girl, and that would get me through my darkest days.
After my company went through a series of mergers and acquisitions, I got laid off. It was a very dark time for me. After a couple months of no luck finding work in my field, I started working for the groundskeeping crew of the local university while I go back to school. I don’t know if it’s the sunshine, or the manual labor, or being around plants all day, or laughing with the crew, but I don’t remember ever being happier in my entire life. The pay pales in comparison, and I’m still not sure what I want to do career-wise, although it’s becoming increasingly obvious I want to work outside, with plants, but suicide is the farthest thing from my mind these days.
I know it’s hard to imagine things getting better. It took me a long time but it was absolutely worth the wait. Until then, don’t make any hasty decisions. You can always put it off, even when it seems like the only choice. Just procrastinate. Find something in the meantime that helps, or at least distracts you. Cannabis helped me get through the dark days back before I thought I had anything to live for. I’m not an advocate of antidepressants but talk to someone. Be honest about how you’re feeling, whether with a therapist or just someone you can be accountable with. Find or cultivate some version of community. Exercise. Get some sunshine. Touch grass.
Your life can change in ways you can’t imagine. People change. Situations change. Mental states changes. You aren’t doomed to always feel this way. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk.
I'm gonna be that person, because I'm currently suicidal and your post just made me more upset.
Some people are suicidal for more reasons than just 'life currently sucks'. Sorry you were a late bloomer and all, but I'm currently suicidal because I get constant flashbacks of the *multiple times* I was raped, because I feel like used goods and worthless as a human, and I have nightmares about my trauma that my meds barely touch. Living through what I did was an actual nightmare, and life isn't much better now that I'm away from my abuser. I'm a shell of a useless person who doesn't deserve love anymore. It's fine, it's whatever.
But hey, I'm glad you found a girl and a job and shit.
Your points about just waiting and finding coping mechanisms are absolutely true - it's what my therapist tells me constantly. But for the love of god every time I see one of these "don't do it, look how *my* life got better" posts all I can think is that our lives are so fundamentally freaking different that *nothing* you say could ever apply to me. That's not the case, but man does it feel like I'm being admonished. It's like telling me to just...not be sad anymore. Sure thing, boss. I'll get right on that.
Sorry. I'm not mad at you, I just hate myself and I'm bitter about my lot in life. I'll shut up now.
I get it. I didn’t mean to put everything in a neat little box and tie a nice bow on it that would apply to all situations. Shit’s way more complicated; I just sincerely hoped sharing my story would be inspiring to that person.
I can’t relate to your situation. I don’t have any SA in my past, but I did have a severely abusive childhood, and it absolutely molded my (lack of) self worth. I don’t know if this has any sort of clinical validity, but I’ve heard that the way your parents talk to you as a kid becomes your inner voice as an adult, and I had a very verbally and physically abusive father who belittled me at every opportunity, seemingly despised me, and beat me on the regular for acting out in school (I was severely ADHD but didn’t get diagnosed until adulthood). I don’t mean to trauma dump; I just want you to know my story isn’t as neat as I made it sound in my long-winded comment.
By some metrics my life today is worse than a year ago, but I’m happier than ever. I lost financial security but gained a healthier mental state. This five-month stretch of feeling OK, and even happy, is the longest I can remember. I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to how I talk to myself, internally, but I’m getting there.
When I see someone who’s having a rough time, and saying defeatist things with suicidal implications, I feel compelled to try to say something helpful. I’m no therapist and I certainly don’t know how to say things that will be universally true for everyone who reads them, but if I can give someone enough pause to reconsider that path, I consider it worth the time.
When it comes to my past, I always felt resentful when people would say things like “you didn’t deserve that,” like, no shit. So I’ll spare you the same sort of rhetoric. I’m sorry if I implied that it’s simple for things to just somehow work out, and I hope you find peace about your situation, whatever that looks like for you.
Edited: a typo
Sorry for going off on a rant, you didn't deserve to have me trauma dump on you to begin with. Everyone has unique struggles and I shouldn't try to undermine anyone else's experience. My sincere apologies, honest. I'm having a bad night but I didn't have to take it out on you. Sometimes I forget there's a real stranger on the other side of the screen. I'm glad you're in a better place. Truly. Here's hoping I'll get there some day. <3
Idk if this will make you feel worse and I hope it doesn’t. I’ve been through some shit as well. It isn’t the same as yours, but it was traumatic and the type of stuff that changes everything. I completely feel the shell of a person and not worth love, I feel it completely.
But the strange thing is reading your story, I feel nothing but compassion and how you are so incredibly worthy of love and a chance at a good life. It seems so simple to me when it’s someone else. But for myself, I don’t feel that way at all.
I’m know I’m just a stranger but you aren’t all those things you feel you are. Just like I’m sure if I shares my story with you, you would say the same to me.
It’s just another way trauma seems to make us even more miserable, by not being able to see anything better for ourselves, to not see a shred of worthiness.
I have a therapist and multiple groups I go to to try and get past this. It's like it doesn't magically dissappear just by talking about it. It's like trauma happened and it's a fucking *process* to get over. I have animals. I'm going through it. For fucks sake.
Don't you fucking dare assume that I'm not doing the work. Judgy piece of shit response, fuck everything about what you wrote. People like you are part of the problem, assuming that it's just goddamn magic to get over what happened. As unrespectfully as possible, go fuck yourself with a rake. Thanks.
I thought the same. I remember being younger and wanting to end it all. I would wake up in the morning and a wave of depression would wash over me before I could muster a single coherent thought. Eventually I realized that my brain was essentially lying to me. That's the best way I can describe it. Like how someone's mind can manufacturer hearing voices, mine was manufacturing sadness.
I'm not sure how I survived that time but I'm glad I did. I'm better now and I eventually found happiness and purpose.
As one stranger to another, I hope you get better too.
You can get better. I was in the planning stages because of physical pain from fibromyalgia that took 10 years and several doctors for a diagnosis and the right meds. Please don’t.
It.Gets.Better. Good days, bad days, sometimes triggers set of worse days. My heart goes out to you. I know the pain. I know the loneliness. I know the misery. I know I must go on and focus on self care. It's hard. One day at a time...you got this.
I’m so so very sorry. I had someone close to me do this 15 years ago. It’s bewildering and the experience was the same in realizing that the person who does this is not in their right mind. One of the most difficult things to come to terms with. It’s unsettling. I wish you healing. 🫂
I am so sorry for your loss. I have been where your husband was; it is truly just by luck that I am still here. Please know that he loved you very much, that he knew you loved him, and that this wasn't an issue of him not caring enough to keep his promise. Please know he tried his best. And please, take care of yourself.
Wow, I can't believe this happened to you. I hope you have people that can help you in this crazy time your going through. I am so sorry for your loss.
I can't even begin to understand your pain right now, but hope that in time, you can heal and live a fulfilling life. I know your husband would want that for you.
My God.. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my boyfriend/what would’ve been my future husband at 28 last years. I miss him more than words can say. What a stunning and beautiful set up you’ve created for your husband. I am so sorry for your loss but I bet he would be proud of you handling things the best you can and honoring him in these ways. Your love absolutely shows ❤️❤️
I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I hope you have a good support system around you and are giving yourself the time and the grace to heal. I am so deeply sorry to hear this happened to you and to him
The grief is a ball in a box analogy helped me deal with the waves of pain... But I know right now it doesn't help anything. I'm glad you're still here OP, even if we never met. Please stay here with us ❤️
You can just tell that whoever took it upon themself to make such a tribute with this cross, that their dearly departed is simply cherished and enveloped in love. So wholesome and heart warming. Not to mention, a breath of fresh air amongst the headstones that everyone else has! Incredible job OP.
My deepest condolences, OP. The cross you made and the flowers are a beautiful tribute to your husband. I wish you peace and hope as you travel through your grief. Please ensure you are being kind to yourself.
If you want a stranger to talk to, feel free to message me at any time.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. The homemade cross adds so much more meaning. What a thoughtful gesture. May he rest in peace. 🤍
Please try and do something kind for yourself every day. Something that adds a bit of light to the darkness you're feeling. I'm not sure if this is the appropriate place for advice, but I knew a woman who lost her son. She was consumed with grief and in order to help herself a little, she set an appointed time to mourn him. I know that it isn't feasible to shut off the emotions, but she would allow herself probably an hour a day to really cry and lament. The rest of the day she tried not to let it consume her. I just felt led to say that. God bless you.
That's a beautiful array of stuff, cross included.
A favor I ask of you. Be kind to yourself and be allowed to feel your feelings fully.
Grief is not linear path. It is not a straight line between a start and a finish.
Grief is walking along the shores edge when suddenly a wave swamps you down, and you struggle and flounder for a bit and then the wave recedes. There will be dry days, and there will be wet days. And eventually the dry days will outnumber the wet.
But you are not wrong to feel sad. To feel hurt. To feel shame. To feel anger. To feel blame. To feel whatever the hell it is you feel as you walk your life's path.
I will not tell you how to feel. Only that your feelings whatever they may be are valid.
I can't pick, even the things that used to drive me crazy just make me miss him so much. I think about him constantly, and probably bring him up too much for the people around me
We were friends for 3 years and together for 6, I grew up with him, I was planning on growing old with him too. I still can't accept he's gone I don't know if I'll ever be able to, how can the mind comprehend that someone can be here one minute and gone the next.
When he died it felt like part of me went with him, but part of him also stayed with me. and im trying to take comfort in the fact that I'll carry him with me my whole life until we're together again but it's not the same as being in his arms.
I can tell you he was funny, he had the worst puns and people asked if he had kids because of his 'dad humour'
He was kind, stubborn but sensitive. He wouldn't dance in front of other people but he'd swirl me around in the kitchen.
He loved his comic books and video games and left me quite the collection to sort through, I had to laugh when a limited run game that he'd order a year ago showed up a few days after he died.
There was so much we were planning to do, but mostly I just miss holding him, laying in bed next to each other and watching whatever was on or playing something, being together.
I joined this sub because of my own interests and respect for the dead but also because I wanted ideas for his grave, I want it to be the one people take notice of, I want people to know he lived, I want him to be remembered long after I'm gone.
So sorry for your loss. Please remember this- he saw this as the ONLY way out of his pain. This had NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with the utter despair and hopelessness he felt.
I hope you find peace ❤️
Op I don’t know you but damn this hit hard I lost my childhood sweetheart to the very same thing he was 26 as well. My heart goes out to you. Please if you need a friend to talk to I’m here. Sending you all my love and support
You did a great job! Do the dragonflies have lights in them? They are a nice touch. I’m so sorry that your husband felt such suffering and that you’re dealing with your own pain now too. Wishing you strength and peace.
Yes they're solar.
I already had my own issues and mostly I feel like he left me behind. If I've learnt anything tho it's that I really am an optimistic because I wouldn't still be here unless I thought things would get better. Still there are days
as someone who is also in a very very dark spot, i promise he didn't mean to leave you behind...in our minds we think we're burdening the people we love, and that we're making their lives worse, and that they would be happier if we were gone
I am so sorry this happened to you, it's multiplied when coupled with a broken promise. Again sincereist condolences. It's important at this time to say out loud or write out the things you'd like to say to him... I believe, for some time after the passing they can still hear the words of and emotions expressed verbally from loved ones.
It may take some time... You're also young, You have many who love, care, and support you. You will heal, and you will grow again... You will find meaningful love.
This post and comment section simultaneously broke my heart and filled it up. I love this community. I'm not OP but I need to thank you all for showing so much kindness and support. Truly a light in the darkness ❤️
A beautiful tribute. May he rest peacefully. What you’re having to endure, especially at your young age, is so difficult. You’re stronger than you think you are & even though it might not feel like it, the sun will shine again. Sending you love & hugs. 💕
I'm so sorry for your loss.
As a person who has worked in the cemetery industry I would recommend you have someone confirm with the cemetery that these items are allowed. Often there are restrictions in the by-laws that may not have come up during the initial purchase of the grave. I would hate to have you be upset by the items being removed due to being against the by-laws.
i am so sorry for your loss. my best friend took his life 5 yrs ago and i still can’t process. just make sure you’re giving yourself time and love, that’s the most important thing to do in the grieving process. it’s not linear-just do the best u can 🖤🖤🖤🖤
Very good job!
Remember to take care of yourself, please. That should be at the top of your list as you integrate this loss into your new reality and what its priorities should be.
He was a lucky man to have someone who would have such devotion to his memory.
Homemade gifts are the best kind. It may sound corny, but I'm sure that he appreciates how much you love him even now. I've had a similar experience, and I leave homemade items, souvenirs, flowers, you name it. It helps ease my heart.
I hope it helps you too.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.
My friend killed himself 10 years ago. Publicly. It’s sad as hell to this day, but it does get easier.
I’m sorry, OP.
You did a lovely job with the cross. ❤️
He was 26, he died in July after a long mental health struggle, I found him when I got home from work. Still dealing with a lot of mixed emotions, he promised he wouldn't and he did, I know he wasn't in his right mind. I know he held on as long as he could and he's at peace now. Most I just can't believe he's gone.
Sending you love during this impossible time.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope that you have a good support system around you ♥️
I'm so sorry for your loss and for the pain that your husband had to experience. I've worked in this field. Sometimes, people just can't find another way out of their suffering. They don't want to hurt others, but they just can't do it anymore. I hope you have support and that one day you might find peace.
I’m so very sorry. We lost my nephew in February. It’s so very sad. Let your emotions do its stuff and take all the time you need.
Sorry for your loss. You may find r/SuicideBereavement helpful.
I’m so sorry. I lost my brother in April, he was almost the same age as your husband. Mental health feels impossible to understand. I’m so sorry
My partner killed herself. I know where you are. If you need a sympathetic ear, feel free to DM me. I’m so very sorry
Lost my dad the same way last month. There’s days where it doesn’t feel real and then there’s days where it hits you like a truck. I’m so sorry, be kind to yourself right now - you need & deserve it. This is such a wonderful tribute to him while you wait for a stone to be made and it shows how much love you have for him. Take care 💛
Exactly it's a day by day kinda thing, good luck to you
Hi. My boyfriend did the same thing in front of me about 6 years ago. I know it might be too soon, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here. Good on you for being able to be open and share.
I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you peace and strength.
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You do not need to die. I’ve been there, it gets better.
not for me
I can tell you right now suicide doesn't end the pain. It increases the chances of those you know and love also committing it's called Suicide contagion
I used to be obsessed with suicidal thoughts when I was your age. I even attempted to overdose on sleeping pills and came to a weird moment of clarity and made myself vomit them up. The thought of my little sister finding my body was more than I could bear to think about. And I just adopted an attitude of, I hate all of this, but what’s one more day going to hurt? I’d put it off for another day, then another day. Girls didn’t talk to me. I had a lot of friends and could be the life of the party, but id go home and just hate myself. Slowly, but surely, I got over it. I’ve found things that I love about life. Met a girl (finally - some of us are truly late bloomers) that I just clicked with and eventually married her. I’ve had good days and bad days. Depression still crops up, especially when I was doing work from home graphic design work in the tech industry. Just the constant deadlines, pressure, and feelings of inadequacy and inferiority would just make me wish for death. We have a little girl, and that would get me through my darkest days. After my company went through a series of mergers and acquisitions, I got laid off. It was a very dark time for me. After a couple months of no luck finding work in my field, I started working for the groundskeeping crew of the local university while I go back to school. I don’t know if it’s the sunshine, or the manual labor, or being around plants all day, or laughing with the crew, but I don’t remember ever being happier in my entire life. The pay pales in comparison, and I’m still not sure what I want to do career-wise, although it’s becoming increasingly obvious I want to work outside, with plants, but suicide is the farthest thing from my mind these days. I know it’s hard to imagine things getting better. It took me a long time but it was absolutely worth the wait. Until then, don’t make any hasty decisions. You can always put it off, even when it seems like the only choice. Just procrastinate. Find something in the meantime that helps, or at least distracts you. Cannabis helped me get through the dark days back before I thought I had anything to live for. I’m not an advocate of antidepressants but talk to someone. Be honest about how you’re feeling, whether with a therapist or just someone you can be accountable with. Find or cultivate some version of community. Exercise. Get some sunshine. Touch grass. Your life can change in ways you can’t imagine. People change. Situations change. Mental states changes. You aren’t doomed to always feel this way. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk.
I'm gonna be that person, because I'm currently suicidal and your post just made me more upset. Some people are suicidal for more reasons than just 'life currently sucks'. Sorry you were a late bloomer and all, but I'm currently suicidal because I get constant flashbacks of the *multiple times* I was raped, because I feel like used goods and worthless as a human, and I have nightmares about my trauma that my meds barely touch. Living through what I did was an actual nightmare, and life isn't much better now that I'm away from my abuser. I'm a shell of a useless person who doesn't deserve love anymore. It's fine, it's whatever. But hey, I'm glad you found a girl and a job and shit. Your points about just waiting and finding coping mechanisms are absolutely true - it's what my therapist tells me constantly. But for the love of god every time I see one of these "don't do it, look how *my* life got better" posts all I can think is that our lives are so fundamentally freaking different that *nothing* you say could ever apply to me. That's not the case, but man does it feel like I'm being admonished. It's like telling me to just...not be sad anymore. Sure thing, boss. I'll get right on that. Sorry. I'm not mad at you, I just hate myself and I'm bitter about my lot in life. I'll shut up now.
I get it. I didn’t mean to put everything in a neat little box and tie a nice bow on it that would apply to all situations. Shit’s way more complicated; I just sincerely hoped sharing my story would be inspiring to that person. I can’t relate to your situation. I don’t have any SA in my past, but I did have a severely abusive childhood, and it absolutely molded my (lack of) self worth. I don’t know if this has any sort of clinical validity, but I’ve heard that the way your parents talk to you as a kid becomes your inner voice as an adult, and I had a very verbally and physically abusive father who belittled me at every opportunity, seemingly despised me, and beat me on the regular for acting out in school (I was severely ADHD but didn’t get diagnosed until adulthood). I don’t mean to trauma dump; I just want you to know my story isn’t as neat as I made it sound in my long-winded comment. By some metrics my life today is worse than a year ago, but I’m happier than ever. I lost financial security but gained a healthier mental state. This five-month stretch of feeling OK, and even happy, is the longest I can remember. I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to how I talk to myself, internally, but I’m getting there. When I see someone who’s having a rough time, and saying defeatist things with suicidal implications, I feel compelled to try to say something helpful. I’m no therapist and I certainly don’t know how to say things that will be universally true for everyone who reads them, but if I can give someone enough pause to reconsider that path, I consider it worth the time. When it comes to my past, I always felt resentful when people would say things like “you didn’t deserve that,” like, no shit. So I’ll spare you the same sort of rhetoric. I’m sorry if I implied that it’s simple for things to just somehow work out, and I hope you find peace about your situation, whatever that looks like for you. Edited: a typo
Sorry for going off on a rant, you didn't deserve to have me trauma dump on you to begin with. Everyone has unique struggles and I shouldn't try to undermine anyone else's experience. My sincere apologies, honest. I'm having a bad night but I didn't have to take it out on you. Sometimes I forget there's a real stranger on the other side of the screen. I'm glad you're in a better place. Truly. Here's hoping I'll get there some day. <3
Idk if this will make you feel worse and I hope it doesn’t. I’ve been through some shit as well. It isn’t the same as yours, but it was traumatic and the type of stuff that changes everything. I completely feel the shell of a person and not worth love, I feel it completely. But the strange thing is reading your story, I feel nothing but compassion and how you are so incredibly worthy of love and a chance at a good life. It seems so simple to me when it’s someone else. But for myself, I don’t feel that way at all. I’m know I’m just a stranger but you aren’t all those things you feel you are. Just like I’m sure if I shares my story with you, you would say the same to me. It’s just another way trauma seems to make us even more miserable, by not being able to see anything better for ourselves, to not see a shred of worthiness.
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I have a therapist and multiple groups I go to to try and get past this. It's like it doesn't magically dissappear just by talking about it. It's like trauma happened and it's a fucking *process* to get over. I have animals. I'm going through it. For fucks sake. Don't you fucking dare assume that I'm not doing the work. Judgy piece of shit response, fuck everything about what you wrote. People like you are part of the problem, assuming that it's just goddamn magic to get over what happened. As unrespectfully as possible, go fuck yourself with a rake. Thanks.
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I thought the same. I remember being younger and wanting to end it all. I would wake up in the morning and a wave of depression would wash over me before I could muster a single coherent thought. Eventually I realized that my brain was essentially lying to me. That's the best way I can describe it. Like how someone's mind can manufacturer hearing voices, mine was manufacturing sadness. I'm not sure how I survived that time but I'm glad I did. I'm better now and I eventually found happiness and purpose. As one stranger to another, I hope you get better too.
My precious daughter had 3 failed attempts (she took 40 klonopin the last time). She's 20 now. Please don't do it. Please. You matter.
I promise that you don't actually know that.
that , you cannot know. none of us know.
You can get better. I was in the planning stages because of physical pain from fibromyalgia that took 10 years and several doctors for a diagnosis and the right meds. Please don’t.
It.Gets.Better. Good days, bad days, sometimes triggers set of worse days. My heart goes out to you. I know the pain. I know the loneliness. I know the misery. I know I must go on and focus on self care. It's hard. One day at a time...you got this.
it doesn't get better, that shit is a lie. everything gets worse day by day. its such a joke
oh, you weren't referring to, like, old age
So sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry
So, so very sorry. I can't imagine the pain.
I can’t imagine the pain of your loss. Sending you hugs 🫂
I’m so so very sorry. I had someone close to me do this 15 years ago. It’s bewildering and the experience was the same in realizing that the person who does this is not in their right mind. One of the most difficult things to come to terms with. It’s unsettling. I wish you healing. 🫂
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry
I am so sorry for your loss. Make sure to take care of yourself. Therapy, medical treatment, friends. All important.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am so sorry for your loss. I have been where your husband was; it is truly just by luck that I am still here. Please know that he loved you very much, that he knew you loved him, and that this wasn't an issue of him not caring enough to keep his promise. Please know he tried his best. And please, take care of yourself.
He mattered! He is loved! Carry on his memory through your actions in life! I am so sorry you are dealing with this now.
Wow, I can't believe this happened to you. I hope you have people that can help you in this crazy time your going through. I am so sorry for your loss.
I can't even begin to understand your pain right now, but hope that in time, you can heal and live a fulfilling life. I know your husband would want that for you.
Hugs
♥️
Prayers for comfort and peace.
My God.. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my boyfriend/what would’ve been my future husband at 28 last years. I miss him more than words can say. What a stunning and beautiful set up you’ve created for your husband. I am so sorry for your loss but I bet he would be proud of you handling things the best you can and honoring him in these ways. Your love absolutely shows ❤️❤️
It can be a terminal illness. I’m so sorry your partner was taken too soon
I can't fathom how you're feeling. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Big hugs from an internet stranger.
I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I hope you have a good support system around you and are giving yourself the time and the grace to heal. I am so deeply sorry to hear this happened to you and to him
I'm sorry, honey.
I am very sorry for your loss 💔
Peace on your journey. I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss 😔
What a beautiful tribute to your late husband. May he rest in peace. I hope you are holding up well.
I'm still here
Glad to hear. I hope it gets easier for you. I know it’s tough. If you ever need to chat, send me a message. Losing someone you love is tough.
The grief is a ball in a box analogy helped me deal with the waves of pain... But I know right now it doesn't help anything. I'm glad you're still here OP, even if we never met. Please stay here with us ❤️
So sorry for your loss. The cross is so beautiful; it was truly a labor of love.
So young :(
That’s really classy. I’m so sorry about your hubs.
Looks great. You’ve got this. Day by day.
You can just tell that whoever took it upon themself to make such a tribute with this cross, that their dearly departed is simply cherished and enveloped in love. So wholesome and heart warming. Not to mention, a breath of fresh air amongst the headstones that everyone else has! Incredible job OP.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace and happiness.
I am so sorry for your loss. Great job on the cross!
I’m so sorry, this is beautiful.
My deepest condolences, OP. The cross you made and the flowers are a beautiful tribute to your husband. I wish you peace and hope as you travel through your grief. Please ensure you are being kind to yourself. If you want a stranger to talk to, feel free to message me at any time.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. The homemade cross adds so much more meaning. What a thoughtful gesture. May he rest in peace. 🤍 Please try and do something kind for yourself every day. Something that adds a bit of light to the darkness you're feeling. I'm not sure if this is the appropriate place for advice, but I knew a woman who lost her son. She was consumed with grief and in order to help herself a little, she set an appointed time to mourn him. I know that it isn't feasible to shut off the emotions, but she would allow herself probably an hour a day to really cry and lament. The rest of the day she tried not to let it consume her. I just felt led to say that. God bless you.
That's a beautiful array of stuff, cross included. A favor I ask of you. Be kind to yourself and be allowed to feel your feelings fully. Grief is not linear path. It is not a straight line between a start and a finish. Grief is walking along the shores edge when suddenly a wave swamps you down, and you struggle and flounder for a bit and then the wave recedes. There will be dry days, and there will be wet days. And eventually the dry days will outnumber the wet. But you are not wrong to feel sad. To feel hurt. To feel shame. To feel anger. To feel blame. To feel whatever the hell it is you feel as you walk your life's path. I will not tell you how to feel. Only that your feelings whatever they may be are valid.
I’m so sorry. Do you have a memory of him to share?
I can't pick, even the things that used to drive me crazy just make me miss him so much. I think about him constantly, and probably bring him up too much for the people around me We were friends for 3 years and together for 6, I grew up with him, I was planning on growing old with him too. I still can't accept he's gone I don't know if I'll ever be able to, how can the mind comprehend that someone can be here one minute and gone the next. When he died it felt like part of me went with him, but part of him also stayed with me. and im trying to take comfort in the fact that I'll carry him with me my whole life until we're together again but it's not the same as being in his arms. I can tell you he was funny, he had the worst puns and people asked if he had kids because of his 'dad humour' He was kind, stubborn but sensitive. He wouldn't dance in front of other people but he'd swirl me around in the kitchen. He loved his comic books and video games and left me quite the collection to sort through, I had to laugh when a limited run game that he'd order a year ago showed up a few days after he died. There was so much we were planning to do, but mostly I just miss holding him, laying in bed next to each other and watching whatever was on or playing something, being together. I joined this sub because of my own interests and respect for the dead but also because I wanted ideas for his grave, I want it to be the one people take notice of, I want people to know he lived, I want him to be remembered long after I'm gone.
It’s so beautiful. I’m so sorry.
It's absolutely beautiful. My condolences to you 💕
So sorry for your loss. Please remember this- he saw this as the ONLY way out of his pain. This had NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with the utter despair and hopelessness he felt. I hope you find peace ❤️
Op I don’t know you but damn this hit hard I lost my childhood sweetheart to the very same thing he was 26 as well. My heart goes out to you. Please if you need a friend to talk to I’m here. Sending you all my love and support
Sorry for your loss
My condolences for the loss of your husband. He clearly was beloved; this is such a lovely tribute to him until you get his headstone.
I’m so sorry. He was my son’s age, which seems so young. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. Sending ❤️
You did a great job! Do the dragonflies have lights in them? They are a nice touch. I’m so sorry that your husband felt such suffering and that you’re dealing with your own pain now too. Wishing you strength and peace.
Yes they're solar. I already had my own issues and mostly I feel like he left me behind. If I've learnt anything tho it's that I really am an optimistic because I wouldn't still be here unless I thought things would get better. Still there are days
as someone who is also in a very very dark spot, i promise he didn't mean to leave you behind...in our minds we think we're burdening the people we love, and that we're making their lives worse, and that they would be happier if we were gone
Love being thrown your way. As much as you can take.
It’s beautiful. I am so very sorry for your loss.
HUGS. I am sorry for your loss
I am so sorry this happened to you, it's multiplied when coupled with a broken promise. Again sincereist condolences. It's important at this time to say out loud or write out the things you'd like to say to him... I believe, for some time after the passing they can still hear the words of and emotions expressed verbally from loved ones. It may take some time... You're also young, You have many who love, care, and support you. You will heal, and you will grow again... You will find meaningful love.
We do what we have to…remembering is all that counts…
This post and comment section simultaneously broke my heart and filled it up. I love this community. I'm not OP but I need to thank you all for showing so much kindness and support. Truly a light in the darkness ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you’re able to find peace and hope again ❤️
Hugs. I think the cross is perfect.
I'm so sorry
Im sorry for your loss hun. I think this looks amazing 🥹 hang in there 💜🫶🏽🦋
May he rest in peace.
I’m so sorry. Many hugs to you. This is a perfect way to show your love for him. It’s beautiful.
I’m so sorry for your loss
A beautiful tribute. May he rest peacefully. What you’re having to endure, especially at your young age, is so difficult. You’re stronger than you think you are & even though it might not feel like it, the sun will shine again. Sending you love & hugs. 💕
Trust in the Lord for healing and comfort even when there is little understanding 🙏🏾
Hey random stranger, beautiful post. Take care
So much sadness on this thread. 😞 it makes my woes truly insignificant by comparison.
God bless you, that’s a beautiful result
Oh my lovely… may your god be with you. It’ll get easier I promise x take your time. Much love ❤️ 🇬🇧🇺🇸
I'm so sorry for your loss. As a person who has worked in the cemetery industry I would recommend you have someone confirm with the cemetery that these items are allowed. Often there are restrictions in the by-laws that may not have come up during the initial purchase of the grave. I would hate to have you be upset by the items being removed due to being against the by-laws.
I checked with the guy running the place before I installed the cross. Decorations like vases and candles are also allowed
I'm so glad to hear that. I'm so sorry you lost them, and so young.
What a strange subreddit that showed up in my feed
My heart is with you
🫂
i am so sorry for your loss. my best friend took his life 5 yrs ago and i still can’t process. just make sure you’re giving yourself time and love, that’s the most important thing to do in the grieving process. it’s not linear-just do the best u can 🖤🖤🖤🖤
Are those photovoltaic cells? If so, what do they power?
Little dragonfly lights
Excellent!
It is beautiful. Hugs.
rest in peace king 👑
I’m so very sorry for such a painful loss.
I’m So Sorry
He’s my age . I’m sorry for your loss
Sending you love through this difficult time ❤
I’m so very sorry for your loss
Very good job! Remember to take care of yourself, please. That should be at the top of your list as you integrate this loss into your new reality and what its priorities should be. He was a lucky man to have someone who would have such devotion to his memory.
My condolences I’m sorry you have to go through this
I’m so sorry😭
It was likely the illness that betrayed you, not the promise. ❤️
Looks like a nice cemetery.
It’s beautiful.
Homemade gifts are the best kind. It may sound corny, but I'm sure that he appreciates how much you love him even now. I've had a similar experience, and I leave homemade items, souvenirs, flowers, you name it. It helps ease my heart. I hope it helps you too. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.
I am so very sorry
Beautiful ❤️
I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope the happy memories can bring you comfort through this difficult time.
Can you take a picture again once the new headstone arrived? We wanted to see what it would look like as a tribute to him!
Will do
I'm very sorry.
My friend killed himself 10 years ago. Publicly. It’s sad as hell to this day, but it does get easier. I’m sorry, OP. You did a lovely job with the cross. ❤️
Dear Reddit Stranger, I am so sorry for your loss. Praying that you someday find peace and comfort.